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“Look at the two of them.”
“Unbelievable.”
Sunghoon cracks an eye open, immediately closing it and attempting to ignore Jungwon and Jay when he sees them staring at him from the doorway.
His efforts go to waste when Jungwon scoffs and marches over to the bed, yanking the blanket off both him and Sunoo. “We sent you in here to wake him up, not be his cuddle buddy.”
Sunoo groans and twists around, curling into Sunghoon’s side for a source of warmth. Still asleep, he winds his arms around the taller’s waist and clasps his hands together, effectively holding him in place. (Not that Sunghoon would have ever moved of his own will.)
Sunghoon remains frozen, eyes darting up to inevitably meet two judgemental gazes. When Sunoo makes a small noise of content under his breath and lays his head on Sunghoon’s chest, the latter lets a fond coo slip; it’s impossible for him to care about his surroundings when he’s this close to the younger.
Jay leans against the doorway, already in his school uniform. When Jungwon looks at him helplessly, still standing at the foot of Sunoo’s bed holding a bunched up corner of the blanket in his hand, he just rolls his eyes.
Jay approaches with his hands in his pockets, coming to a stop at the head of the bed and addressing Sunghoon. “You realize how pathetic this is, right? Even you’re not dumb enough to not realize how hard you’re making this on yourself.”
Sunoo chooses this exact moment to open his eyes just barely enough to make out the blurry shape of Sunghoon’s face. His hair is half matted down, half sticking up in little dandelion puffs and he has pillow-creases on his cheek, but Sunghoon just thinks he looks so, so–
“Pretty.”
Idiot.
At first Sunghoon thinks he had just thought it, but when he realizes Jay had coughed it into his fist, he whips around and pulls the pillow out from under his head to throw it square at his nose before turning back to Sunoo, who was luckily still rubbing the sleep from his eyes and hadn’t heard either of them.
“Hyung, what time is it?” Sunoo’s voice is hoarse from lack of use and Sunghoon can tell he’s still fighting off sleep, slowly unraveling his arms from around his torso and using his hands to push himself upright.
“You need to start getting ready, Sunoo hyung. Jaesuk manager-nim says you two need to be in the car in half an hour.”
Sunoo blinks blearily, seemingly noticing Jungwon’s presence for the first time. As Jay tosses the pillow Sunghoon had thrown at him back onto the bed, making himself known to Sunoo as well, he tilts his head toward the door.
“Breakfast is on the table. Get ready quickly so you can eat before we go.”
Sunoo nods obediently, clambering out of bed and stumbling his way toward the bathroom with Jungwon following him out. The bed immediately feels cold without him next to Sunghoon, who petulantly grabs the blanket Jungwon had tossed down and pulls it up over his head.
The second the two are out of earshot he braces himself, having been in this position too many times to not know what comes next.
“Go easy on me this morning, Jongseong-ah. I don’t function well unless I get a full ten minutes of snuggles.”
Sunghoon knows how terribly lame he must sound, voice coming out muffled and whiny from under the blanket, but he’s banking on being pitiful to the point of even Jay feeling to bad to slap some sense into him.
When he can feel the mattress dipping with weight, he knows he has no chance of running away, so he begrudgingly allows Jay to tug the blanket down, sitting up with a heavy sigh.
Surprisingly, the teasing that’s basically become an automatic reaction to Sunghoon and his sad, sad, sad crush on Sunoo never comes, and he’s instead met with a raised eyebrow.
“You know, no matter how I look at this situation, you’re an idiot. But the silver lining is, you’re not a coward unless you don’t do something about it.”
Sunghoon allows an exasperated puff of air to blow past his lips, head falling back and hitting the bedframe with a dull thud. “Like what? Confess? Ask him on a date?” His voice drips with sarcasm, but Jay only stares at him expectantly, and he looks so undaunted that it makes Sunghoon’s eyes widen incredulously.
“Be serious. Even if such a thing as our company didn’t exist, the idea of walking up to Sunoo and asking him out is insane. I think I would literally choke,” Sunghoon splutters, gesticulating wildly with his hands while Jay listens, entirely unimpressed. “This is Kim Sunoo we’re talking about. He is what happens if you give a literal angel an oversized hoodie and a flat iron. That’s. Him.” Each word is punctuated by a firm jab of his index finger.
Sunghoon shakes his head and slaps his hands over his face, even imagining asking Sunoo on a date apparently too much to handle. “I’m in love with a walking deity on earth. He’s Jesus. I’m in love with Teen Jesus.”
Jay takes a second to marvel in how Sunghoon had worked himself into a state of near combustion in a matter of seconds, but then shakes himself out of it, willing himself to stay on track so one of them was focused. (Sunghoon was kind of a loose cannon when it came to any mention whatsoever of Sunoo. There was an incident involving barking that he paid the 02z to never speak of.)
He pats Sunghoon’s knee, voice gentle as possible. “He’s Kim Sunoo. The same person that you see come out of the bathroom after doing his ten minute skincare routine with IZ*ONE songs still blasting on his phone. The person who approached you first because he wanted to be a friend to you, and always talks about how grateful he is for you taking care of him.”
The sincerity in Jay’s voice and gaze is too heavy, Sunghoon refusing to meet his eyes even as his hands slide down his face and drop into his lap.
“Jay-yah. Will you help me with this?” When he finally does look at Jay, it’s with an expression so helpless and genuine it nearly melts him, his hands clasped together pleadingly.
“Sunghoon-ah, what can I possibly do? It’s your emotions, your sanity at sake, not mine.”
The last part was kind of a white lie. With the exception of Sunoo himself, each member had been at risk of losing their minds due to Sunghoon’s continuous pining at least five times.
“I know, that’s what I mean, just… if you ever see me about to like, confess my love because he told me he liked my new sweater, just cut off the oxygen circulation to my brain until I pass out.”
Jay can distinctly hear Jungwon shouting a twenty minute warning out in the hall, and he rubs the space between his eyebrows. It’s much too early in the morning for him to be this emotionally exhausted. It’s only when he starts to wonder if this is how Sunghoon spends every single day, nearly all his brain power dedicated to just not spilling his guts to Sunoo over an article of clothing, that he softens a little.
“I’ll compromise, okay?”
Sunghoon nods eagerly, looking much too indebted to the service Jay was providing than for what the situation called for.
“I’m not going to knock you out just because you have a big mouth. But I will help you figure out a healthy way to manage your feelings. I still think it’s better that you say something of your own accord, but I won’t pressure you to do it now. Until you’re ready for it, just talk to me if you need to. Deal?”
Sunghoon sends him a grateful smile, raising his hand up and slapping it down when Jay holds out his own. “Deal.”
When Jay arrives without Sunoo after they’ve finished their classes for the day, Sunghoon doesn’t think much of it until Jungwon comes out of his room after being holed up for the last two hours on a call and summons everyone to join him in the living room.
“Is everything alright? You were on the phone for a while,” He asks from where he had already been lounging on the couch with Niki.
“Yeah,” Jungwon responds with a tight smile, bottom lip worried between his teeth. “Just waiting for Sunoo hyung and then we can get started.”
“Get what started?” Jay had retreated into the bathroom to wash up, but now joins the other five, changed out of his uniform. He eyes Jungwon, who jumps at the sudden voice behind him. “What, what’s up?”
The front door opens and Sunoo walks in with an indecipherable expression on his face, trailed by Jaesuk. He tells Sunoo to get changed while he talks with the others, the ravenette nodding and ducking straight into his bedroom without so much as glancing at any of the members.
Heeseung, with increasingly visible suspicion painted on his face, raises a brow in question. “Is there a reason why Sunoo is coming home late? If there’s a discussion to be had, shouldn’t it wait until we can be in a professional setting, like the company building? This is our scheduled day off.”
Jaesuk bows his head, straightening only after nearly ten seconds had passed. His hands are clasped together politely in front of his body, looking genuinely apologetic. “We will have to discuss the finer details of the current matter at hand at a later time, but unfortunately the company feels it best to brief you all as soon and take action as soon as possible. It’s out of my hands.”
Heeseung and Jungwon still look on edge, but when Jay, who had remained standing, suggests they all move to the dining room table, all of them concede and rise to their feet at once. An uncomfortable silence fills the air in the few minutes it takes for Sunoo to return, locking eyes with Sunghoon for less than a second before directing his gaze back to the ground immediately and taking a seat between him and Jake.
“Ah,” their manager begins stiffly, clearly doing his best to maintain his composure under seven pairs of watchful eyes. “Sunoo-ssi, do you want me to explain or would you rather…?”
Sunoo shrugs noncommittally, shoulders hunched over. He looks incredibly small in his chair, but his dissent radiates through the air. “I still don’t even know what’s happening. What do I have to explain?”
Jaesuk clears his throat, nodding. “Well, our management team has noticed a lot of speculation online recently about,” his hand flops about in the air, “...Sunoo, and our PR staff has been monitoring social media trends for the last month or so. They think it would be best to definitively put an end to some of the rumors circulating online.”
The members all eye Sunoo, Jake placing a hand on his knee and speaking first. “What rumors exactly?”
“Dating rumors.”
Sunoo feels Jake’s hand tighten on his leg as Sunghoon inhales sharply next to him. He still says silent, not able to think of much to say. He himself had only been informed on the car ride over, and it had been painfully awkward considering how little was said. The conversation had basically consisted of Manager Jaesuk letting him know they would be having a group discussion (about him), and that he shouldn’t be too worried since they were already working out a solution.
Jungwon’s voice sounds out even and calm, but his eyes are narrowed slightly and there’s a slight edge to his words. “There are always rumors. About us, about every single other idol. Dating hardly seems like our biggest concern, is there a reason why our agency is focusing their energy on stomping these out?”
“And specifically hyung’s?” Niki tacks on, looking incredibly unamused.
As Sunoo surveys the table, it appears as though half of the members don’t even want to be entertaining the conversation, and some are less readable.
Jungwon and Heeseung are doing their best to stay neutral, but Jake plainly looks uncomfortable, Jay’s mouth is hidden behind his fist as he sits in quiet contemplation, and Sunghoon is just looking straight at him, apparently trying to gauge how he feels.
Choosing his words carefully, Sunoo finally interjects. “There’s a point to this, right?” He doesn’t look defiant or defeated, but rather cautious. Mostly because he doesn’t know what sort of fix could possibly be instituted for a situation like this. “Why would you be keeping an eye on my interactions with people if not to do something about it?”
Jaesuk runs a hand through his hair, muttering something under his breath. Sunoo can make out both a, “this wasn’t in my job description,” and an, “I hate capitalist greed,” followed by another apology, louder than the rest of his mindless grumbling.
He steels himself, addressing all of the members while keeping his eyes trained on Sunoo. “Since we won’t be promoting for another month or so, any attention you guys receive is coming from your public interactions and appearances. The company feels it would be in our best interests to have maximum control over your reputation, your public standing. So, in that vein of thinking…”
Sunoo’s eyes are wide and unblinking, fingers curling around the edge of his seat.
“… management would like Sunoo-ssi and another member of the group to engage in a stunted relationship.”
Someone, Sunoo can’t tell who, chokes on air and another, Heeseung, openly scoffs. Completely caught off-guard, Jake’s hand flies off his leg and ricochets off the bottom of the table, causing him to wince in pain.
Entirely unfazed and most likely expecting a reaction along those lines, Jaesuk only looks at them all with a face that seems to say, I know . There are creases on his forehead and he’s clearly been aware of what’s been happening for a while to be this stressed over it.
“I’m sure you have questions, just… let me expand a little.”
When no one attempts to stop him, still shocked into silence, he continues, voice taking on a more professional quality. “Our main priority is damage control. Since we can’t be certain fans will react to dating within the group positively, it’s risky. But at least that way, we’d be the ones determining what gets out, how much gets out. Bad publicity is still publicity, and the company wants to establish a name for your group, being rookies and all.”
Sunoo feels like he’s frozen in place.
Being able to debut as an idol felt like a dream come true, and there had been moments sprinkled, scattered all through out, where he felt as though he wouldn’t make it. When he was given the opportunity to do so through I-LAND, Sunoo knew it wasn’t ideal, but at that point (like every other trainee) he only had one goal in mind, and so agreeing to take part was a no-brainer.
It wasn’t the satisfying end to his hardship as a trainee he hoped for, not a glorious rise to stardom. But even then, Sunoo thought that it would all be worth it in the end.
This wasn’t what he imagined.
Jay breaks the silence first. “To be clear, we’re talking about Sunoo dating one of our members because people talk?”
“No. Isn’t the amount of backlash Sunoo will receive enough to know this is a terrible plan? Wouldn’t it be better to ease restrictions on what we talk about with our fans and allow him to clear the air? He can just say he’s just friends with all these people on V App,” Heeseung interjects firmly, arms crossed over his chest. Niki nods without looking up, and the eldest turns to Jungwon for support, looking intently at him.
“I think… we should let Sunoo say something first, right? He’s in the spotlight right now. Whatever happens is going to affect him the most.” Sunoo raises his head slowly, having zoned out without realizing. The rest of the members murmur their assent in gentle whispers, as their leader offers him what can barely be described as a smile with how fleeting it is, silently providing support. “Hyung? What do you think?”
Sunoo shakes his head, trying to force himself back into reality, convinced he must have somehow misheard. “So, let me get this straight,” he eventually starts, incredulous. “You want me, to have a fake relationship with one of the members because you said, and I quote, ‘bad publicity is still publicity?’ Did I get that right?”
Jaesuk nods resignedly. “Higher up orders. I would have done something if I could’ve, Sunoo, you know I would.”
Sunoo stutters, tripping over his own words. “That’s ridiculous, this… wha– who would even want to be in a fake relationship with me anyways?”
“I volunteer!”
Sunoo’s head whips toward Sunghoon, who had spoken for the first time since they sat down, the volume of his voice surprising even himself.
“ Sunghoon hyung? ”
Out of the corner of his eye, Sunghoon spots Jay slam his forehead onto the table. Shit, was that too obvious?
Either way, the damage was done and he couldn’t really go back. Sunghoon bit down on his bottom lip, eyes darting nervously from their manager to an equally bewildered Sunoo.
“Hyung?” Sunoo continues to look at him, doing his best to disguise his panic. He had assumed that not a single one of his members would be willing to put themselves in such a compromising position, and that the lack of dating party candidates would prevent him from having to take part in this insane plan.
Sunghoon seems to have gone mute, his eyes bulging out of his head like a cartoon character as he has a staring competition with the wall in front of him.
Luckily, Jay seems to have come to recovered from the shock of someone willingly offering themself up, and purses his lips, tilting his head in thought.
“That might make the most sense. If we were to entertain this… incredibly irrational plan ,” he grits through his teeth pointedly, not so subtly aiming his words at a still dead to the world Sunghoon, “Sunghoon could work, right? He’s closest in age to Sunoo, and because of Music Bank, he’s popular too. If attention is what you’re looking for, he’d be guaranteed to get it.”
Jaesuk is looking at him, clearly intrigued so Jay presses on, cursing Sunghoon in his head. “It’d also put Sunghoon’s dating rumors with Wonyoung-ssi to rest, wouldn’t it? Get both of them in the clear. Isn’t that right, Sunghoon?”
He slaps Sunghoon’s back, making him physically start and cough, blinking for the first time in an entire minute. His face alone is enough to tell Jay that he hadn’t registered anything that happened after he opened his fat mouth, and as a result does the most sensible thing he can think of, which is nod fervently. Jay lets out a nearly inaudible sigh and looks around the table, awaiting verbal reactions from the rest of the members.
Sunoo seems to have come to terms with it, Jay’s argument being just barely convincing enough to push him over the edge. While he was talking, Sunoo had started mulling over his options and figured it would be better to establish enough of a footing from the very beginning so that at the very least, he wasn’t just a pawn in whatever game was being played; if he was compliant, there was probably a higher chance of him being allowed to interject his own opinions without being immediately shot down when they went deeper into it.
So he half-lifts a shoulder, looking at Jaesuk. “Yeah, okay.”
Jaesuk breathes a sigh of relief, and Sunoo thinks he did the best thing by agreeing; the members still appear wary, but at bare minimum mildly comforted by knowing he was on board.
Jake does his best to ease the remaining tension, patting Sunoo on the back. “Of course, that’s our Sunoo. You’re always doing too much for our team.”
He gets a weak smile in return, and Jaesuk claps his hands together. “I guess that’s settled, then? We can pick this up later, but it’s decided. It’ll be Sunoo-ssi, and Sunghoon-ssi.” Sunghoon nods, lips twitching as he bites back a smile. Jay rolls his eyes, lips set in a tight line.
Why did he ever agree to help this buffoon?
“You should all get some rest, then. We’ll be around to pick you up tomorrow morning.”
He stands and bows, letting himself out.
Heeseung drums his fingers on the tabletop, pushing his chair back and standing up. “Congrats, Sunoo. Got yourself a new boyfriend.” He snorts at Sunoo’s reaction to the word ‘boyfriend,’ then laughs again to himself as he walks out. “You really worked hard to sell that one, Jongseong-ah.”
Sunoo finally cracks a real smile himself. “Yeah, it’s not like anyone else was lining up to be my fake boyfriend. You must really have wanted someone else to take the job, huh? I’m hurt, Jay hyung,” he feigns a pout, making the others laugh. “Thank god for Sunghoon hyung. At least he was willing to come to my rescue.”
Sunoo nudges Sunghoon’s shoulder with his own, thankfully not noticing the bright red blush rapidly spreading across his cheeks. He stands up, nose stuck in the air haughtily. “I’m going to remember this, everyone. The next time one of you desperately needs one of us to be in a pretend relationship, don’t look to me for help.”
As he makes his way out of the dining room, Jay mutters, “I’d prefer Jungwon anyways.”
“I heard that!”
Sunghoon thinks he might have just experienced the strangest meeting of his life, but he doesn’t really have anyone but himself to blame. When Sunoo and him were called into the office at ass in the morning, he was slightly hoping they would ease them into it– but of course, no such thing happened.
The second they were ushered into a conference room, a PPT appeared on the projection screen in front of them and two contracts were deposited directly into their hands. Sunghoon couldn’t help but quirk an eyebrow in disbelief; he knew the company had been preparing for this for some time before they were even made aware of it, but still, it seemed extreme.
Sunoo had a slightly different reaction: the second the contract was thrust into his hands, his drew his lips into a thin line to keep himself from smiling. When Sunghoon looked up from flipping through the papers, he had turned to Sunoo and saw eyes clearly sparkling with mischief.
He would have asked him what could have possibly been running through his head right then and there, but their PR manager quickly swept in and began her presentation.
They detailed a vague plan and schedule, from ‘increasing the intimacy of their interactions’ to a set amount of dates, which they would be required to publicize on social media posts. Most of it would be left to their discretion, but any major displays would have to be cleared with their manager before hand.
Even if it was a staged operation, the whole thing seemed way too pragmatic and impersonal for Sunghoon’s liking. He had walked out of the room after signing the contract with a strange taste in his mouth.
Sunoo on the other hand, basically had to stop himself from bouncing off the walls of the car on the drive back home.
“Hyung, will you just think about it for a second?”
Sunghoon’s eyes practically bug out of his head as he stares at him disbelievingly. “Will you ?”
It earns him several tugs on his arm, Sunoo far too persistent and Sunghoon too easy for him to not immediately give in, sighing and turning in his carseat to give him his attention.
“Look, I was just as surprised as the rest of the members. I had no idea this was the brilliant plan they came up with, but I’ve been sitting with it all week before this meeting, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I really don’t care.” Sunghoon raises an eyebrow, but Sunoo only waves his hand and motions for him to let him continue. “This is going to be a shit show, we both know that.”
Ouch.
“But I figure,” Sunoo reclines back in his seat, clasped hands settling comfortably over his stomach, oblivious to Sunghoon’s silent sulking. “We can at least have fun with it, right?”
He pauses, eyes flicking around, focusing on anything except Sunoo. “What do you mean?”
Sunoo sighs, taking a second to compose himself. He was considerably more calm than he was when they first got back into the car, but Sunghoon could still see the wheels turning in his head. He doesn’t blame him– he feels similarly himself, but the fact that Sunoo has given this considerably more thought than he had makes him nervous.
“We have to convince Engenes, and whoever else is involved in our business, that we’re in a relationship. Having Jay hyung and Jungwon acting like a married couple means we have to outdo them.” Sunghoon winces. Solid point. “I figure, instead of like, making out in public–”
Sunghoon chokes.
“–you and I can do this our own way. Like, the least corporate form of management-ordered dating ever.”
“Using a publicity stunt to get back at our agency. Romantic,” Sunghoon grimaces.
“Well, do you have a better way of going about this? You were the one who volunteered in the first place, why , I still don’t really know. But shouldn’t we just make the best of it?”
Sunoo’s words hang in the air, practically begging for anything from Sunghoon. It’s a fair question, but one that he definitely can’t answer without revealing his stupidly massive crush. And he also knows that truthfully, he is part of the reason why they’re embroiled in the mess they are now, because if Sunoo had let their manager squirm for a little longer without providing any sort of consent, he might have agreed to try to talk to the higher-ups at the company again.
But Sunghoon had given the go-ahead on his behalf, because his brain to mouth filter is near non-existent when it comes to Sunoo. It’s hard to so much as form thoughts around him, so naturally speaking, or maintaining eye contact, or anything that requires functioning like an actual human being is far more difficult.
He thinks Sunoo must possess some unknown quality, one that seemingly only affects him, and keeps him permanently on edge; like if he lets his guard down for one second he may end up falling completely in love with him.
Whether he’s falling asleep with a face mask on, or goofing around to keep everyone’s spirits high during long dance practices, Sunoo always radiates a bright warmth, and it’s only during the times he’s without it that Sunghoon realizes how dull and cold his world must have been before.
So truthfully, there’s one thing that Sunghoon doesn’t need to think about to be sure of, and it’s that if Sunoo had ended up doing this whole fake dating shtick with anyone else, Jay probably would have had to talk him out of punching a wall.
Sunghoon knows exactly why he volunteered, and he also knows it’s too late to back out now. If he can make this easier on Sunoo by playing along with him.
“You’re right,” he eventually agrees, watching Sunoo’s shoulders sag in relief.
In his momentary panic, he hadn’t even realized how much they had tensed in the first place and he feels a pang of guilt once again– out of everyone in the group, Sunoo is probably the least confrontational. He’s more than capable of taking care of himself and defending himself when he needs to, but ninety nine out of a hundred times, he’d rather go quietly without making a fuss (though Sunghoon supposes having your romantic life controlled by company minions can make that change).
“What do you have in mind?”
Sunoo only hums. “Nothing specific yet.” Then his eyes narrow into slits, pointing a finger at Sunghoon decisively. “Hyung, you really need to work on your acting skills. No offense.”
He splutters, crossing his arms defensively– Sunoo really wasn’t taking any prisoners today. “I’m fine at acting, what do you mean?”
“I mean that you’re terrible at keeping your cool. You get flustered way too easily, if I ever do something that we haven’t discussed beforehand, you need to learn to keep a straight face.”
Obviously he gets flustered, who wouldn’t when they have a giggling Sunoo falling into their side from laughing so hard?
“Well, if I’m always that way, then it’s not like it’d be anything weird, right? It’s just natural,” Sunghoon mumbles in a poor attempt at recovering his name.
“Maybe with your guests at Music Bank, but I’m your groupmate and your ‘boyfriend,’” – (the air quotes that accompany the title sting a little – “so you should be comfortable with me. I mean, we’re pretty close already so it shouldn’t be that hard, but I guess we can work on it,” Sunoo shrugs, pulling out his phone to scroll through Twitter.
Sunghoon nods, throat dry when he swallows and pulls his phone out of his pocket to do the same, just for the sake of having something to do with his hands. When he turns the screen on, there’s a message already waiting for him.
jay: how was the meeting? dead yet?
sunghoon: i’m an idiot. i’m so so screwed.
jay: sounds like a you problem
sunghoon: twat.
“We’re trending,” Sunoo announces, flopping onto his bed. He pats the space next to him, inviting Sunghoon over from his desk to join him.
He holds his phone between them, finger swiping across the screen deftly to show the dozens of new tweets flooding in per minute. Sunghoon hums, not able to understand some of the English messages at the speed Sunoo is scrolling, but seeing the same video clip spread across all of them.
They had recently started promotions for their new release, which simultaneously meant the two of them hinting more obviously about their “relationship.” For the last month, even though they had technically been under contract, there weren’t any requirements. They hadn’t had any recent content being released or schedules planned, which meant the extent of their public flirting was on V-Live, and was left entirely up to Sunoo and Sunghoon.
It was subtle: paying more attention to each other when they spoke, Sunoo making sure to laugh at Sunghoon’s jokes even when they were far from funny– much unlike what they had done on Music Bank.
After finding out they had been nominated, Sunghoon and Sunoo were both almost instantly notified (in the group chat they now had with the PR team members delegated to their project and their manager) that they would need to figure out how to tip their fans off.
The video netizens were currently obsessing over was a portion of their pre-show interview, one where Sunghoon had directed his gaze to Sunoo the entire time, went off script to ask him more questions than necessary, and laughed when he would receive non-answers each time. It was coordinated beforehand, but Sunghoon being the one to have to take initiative was nerve-wracking for both of them– for all of them, really.
“But Sunghoonie hyung, do you really think you can pull this off?” Niki had asked before they went on air, a smile playing on his lips.
“This is my job! I’ll do well, so long as none of you start laughing at me in the back, or something,” Sunghoon refuted, script in hand as a make up artist did her best to finish him off.
“Yah Niki-yah, don’t make him nervous,” Jay scolded lightly as he passed by, flopping onto the couch.
Somewhere nearby, his stylist tsked at him rumpling his outfit, but Sunghoon only smiled gratefully at the small consolation through the mirror. Jay gave him a short nod, that being the most he could do for consolation with the other members nearby- they were all, of course, aware of the arrangement between Sunghoon, Sunoo, and the company, and more than aware of Sunghoon’s feelings, but Jay was still his point person. Every time in the last three weeks he needed someone to turn to, he found himself in Jay and Jake’s room, doing his best not to completely crack under pressure.
In the adjacent seats in front of the vanities, Heeseung held his hand up to his mouth like a microphone. “Music Bank! Returning this week are lovey-doveys Kungyaz, Sunghoon…”
“And Sunoo~” Jake had joined in, using his hands to mimic cue cards to cover his face. Even as everyone else began snickering, Jay doing his best to hide his laughter for Sunghoon’s sake, Sunoo turned to him and smiled reassuringly.
To be fair, if it wasn’t his reputation on the line, Sunghoon would have happily laughed along, but with the sound of his heart beating sounding in his throat, it felt impossible. That alone had given Sunghoon enough confidence to go through with it.
It was successful enough, by the looks of it.
“You did well, though. You can shove that in Niki’s face,” Sunoo smiles smugly, finally looking up from the phone to see the blank look on Sunghoon’s face. He pauses. “What? Why are you being so weird?”
Sunghoon blinks, shooting off the bed and hitting his forehead on the upper bunk bed frame from how quickly he had gotten up. He groans at the feeling, Sunoo rushing up to help him with a drawn out gasp.
“Hyung! Are you okay? What’d you do that for?” His fingers drag Sunghoon’s bangs away from his face, pressing gently over the quickly forming red spot. With how gentle his touch is and how close he’s standing, if he wasn’t already in a state of shock, Sunghoon might have gone into cardiac arrest.
Sunoo sighs, scanning his face for any sign of extreme pain, and asks if he’s okay again. Sunghoon finally nods in response, opening his eyes and registering Sunoo’s face inches from his own, bright hazel eyes staring at him inquisitively. It only makes him jump for a second time, flinching away from him and tripping over his own two feet to land square on his ass with a thud.
He’s not even surprised at this point.
Sunoo moves to help him up, but before he can reach him, footsteps come thundering up to the door. Jay bursts in, first seeing Sunoo frozen in place before he follows his gaze down to see Sunghoon on the floor.
The latter seems to have given up trying to maintain any shred of dignity, simply laying down and letting his arms and legs sprawl out in a starfish position on the floor as he stares up at the ceiling.
He looks backward and smiles grimly, still dizzy. “Oh. Hi Jay, when’d you get here?”
Jay ignores him, looking at Sunoo with pursed lips. He sticks his hands in his pockets and uses a foot to kick a now entirely unresponsive Sunghoon’s shoulder. “What’s up with him?”
Sunoo shakes his head, video now entirely forgotten. “I have no idea.”
Jay shrugs. “I’ll take care of it. I was already coming here to tell you Jake is looking for you, Sunoo.”
He crouches down and pats Sunghoon’s cheek several times, getting nothing more than a dopey giggle. Sunoo makes no move to leave, instead watching as one of Sunghoon’s hands, seemingly of it’s own accord, comes up to pinch Jay’s cheek in return. “Park Sunghoon. You’re going to be your own downfall one day, you know that?”
Sunghoon props himself up on his elbows and gestures for Jay to lean down, whispering conspiratorially into his ear. “Dude. I’m fucking levitating right now. Like I swear to god, I feel like each of my toes are sentient beings, and they’re like… choosing to be on my feet, you know? Like I control them, but they control me.”
“Can we take him to a hospital?” Sunoo interjects, sounding genuinely concerned.
“Don’t worry, Sunoo, I’ll get him patched up.” Jay loops his arms under Sunghoon’s shoulders, beginning to drag him out. He smiles calmly, even as he uses his leg to kick open the door and pull his limp body out into the hall. “He’ll be back in one piece!”
Sunghoon stares into space, lips pursed around the straw of the water bottle Jay had given to him. He slurps noisily, the sound of the water being sucked up in small bursts being the only indication he was alive.
“It could have been worse,” is the first thing out of his mouth once he stops drinking.
“That’s a low bar, Sunghoon-ah.”
Sunghoon huffs in agreement, back slumped. He’s sitting on top of Jay’s desk, the owner sitting in the accompanying chair next to him.
“Why’d you bug out?”
Sunghoon slaps his hands over his face, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He speaks into his palms, refusing to face Jay as he admits miserably, “He’s just really cute.” His fingers slide down his cheeks as he lifts his head up, dragging against his skin. “And also, I guess I just. I mean, I saw the Music Bank interview.”
Jay quirks an eyebrow, noticing the immediate shift in Sunghoon’s demeanor, eyes glazed over and spine straightening. “What about it?”
Sunghoon looks directly into his eyes, firm glare demanding honesty.
“Do I always look that ridiculous? That…”
“Gone?”
“Yes.”
“Yes.”
“Dude,” Sunghoon whines, sliding onto his feet. “How am I meant to pull this off?”
It takes Jay a cursory glance to see that despite his clownish reaction, Sunghoon is genuinely troubled. He doesn’t have it in him to be dishonest, watching his friend pace back and forth across his bedroom floor.
“You wear your heart on your sleeve. It’s a good thing. I’m sure there’s not a single member on this team that doubts how much you care about us.” Sunghoon stays quiet, sitting down on Jake’s bed with his head down. “And we also happen to know that you’re a little extra fond of Sunoo. He’s the reason why you’re doing this, isn’t he?”
That gets him to look up, the blatant truth of it having struck a chord. Sunghoon nods carefully, the spot where he had hit his head still blooming red. Jay walks over to him, hand shooting out to grip his shoulder gently.
“The good news is that realistically the job shouldn’t be that hard for you. Without even trying, you got both of your names at the top of that trending page. That’s not so terrible, is it?”
He gets nothing more than a tilt of his head in acknowledgement, and the two of them sit in silence for a little while. When Jay chances a glance at Sunghoon, he sees how his brows meet in a furrow over the bridge of his nose, lips threatening to draw into a thin line. He doesn’t even have a chance to ask what was on his mind before he begins speaking.
“Sunoo told me that he wanted to do his best to make light of the situation. And I don’t want to get in the way of that, or make things harder for either of us. But I only ever get away with being as stupid as I am around him because he doesn’t reciprocate, you know?”
Jay does know. In the few times Sunoo indulges Sunghoon’s craziness and responds in earnest to his teasing, more often than not it results in what can’t be described in any other way besides homosexually induced mania.
“God, if I can do this, I’ll have achieved the impossible.”
The sentiment is there, but Jay doesn’t entirely agree; he knows, and the rest of the world knows, really, that when it comes to Sunoo and Sunghoon?
Hardly anything is impossible.
Sunghoon winces, letting out a loud, exaggerated shout of pain as he relinquishes his hold on the mouse. He holds his right hand within his left, fingers cramping terribly.
Jay stares at him, unimpressed.
“Dude. Will you quiet down? Jake’s sleeping.”
Sunghoon’s lips push out, eyes wide. “I think I pulled a muscle or something. And he’s not even in here!”
Jay rolls his eyes, shoving the keyboard away from him and pushing his chair away from the desk. He gets to his feet, stretching his arms high above his head. Sunghoon watches him attentively, though with the way his eyes are glazed over, it’s possible they were just too dry to shut.
“How are you and Sunoo doing?” Jay asks, stumbling over to his bed and flopping down onto his back. His arms rest comfortably behind his head, crossing his legs as he stretches out across the mattress.
Sunghoon lets out an exasperated huff, rubbing his eyes as he rises to his feet, too. “God, do we have to talk about that right now?”
Jay raises an eyebrow, grabbing an extra pillow and shoving it behind his neck to prop his head up higher. “What else would we talk about? Isn’t your all-consuming love and simultaneous fake relationship getting a little exhausting? I agreed to be your marriage counselor like a dumbass, so might as well vent if I’m the one asking.”
Valid.
But still, “Any other night but tonight, Jongseong-ah. I think I just need to bro out. You wanna go smash beer bottles and spit off a rooftop?”
“Dude, who raised you?”
“Don’t say a word against my mommy, you bully.”
Jay blinks, and Sunghoon sees him visibly age several years. He stands by his statement, though, quite literally just standing in the middle of the room. They stare at each other saying nothing for several minutes.
“Anyways…” Jay breaks the silence, drawing out the last syllable. “Does that mean that you don’t want to talk about the weird tension between you two earlier?”
Sunghoon winces, accepting defeat and sitting down on Jay’s bed. His legs stick out in front of him spread in a 90 degree angle, chest caved in.
“You noticed?”
“If it makes you feel any better, I think I’m the only one that did.”
They sit, neither of them speaking once more. Jay waits patiently, sitting up and pulling his legs toward himself so Sunghoon has more room to sit, scooting back until his back hits the wall. He blows a raspberry, bangs falling messily in front of his eyes. After further consideration, he slaps his hand down on his knee.
“No. I’m fine.” Sunghoon catches on immediately to the skeptical look Jay sends him. “Seriously. If anything, I think it was just… a much needed reality check.”
The ‘reality check’ refers to Sunoo’s Listen Radio session.
Sunghoon had finished his day at Music Bank and called their manager ahead of time to see if he could take the same car to go pick Sunoo up when he finished.
He had ridden in the front seat on the way there, staring out the window with a small smile permanently resting on his face. When he realized they had arrived, Sunghoon turned to Jaesuk to thank him for driving and stopped dead in the middle of unbuckling his seatbelt.
“What?” He asked, smile disappearing.
Jaesuk shook his head, hands sliding off the wheel. His mouth hung open like he was contemplating whether he should actually speak or not, before apparently deciding to blurt it out.
“You’re going to get me fired, Sunghoon.” Sunghoon nearly gasped at the accusation, eyebrows shooting to the top of his head. Jaesuk laughed at his reaction, waving him off. “You and Sunoo. It’s going to be a lot of paperwork with HR.”
Realization dawns, and he nearly chokes at the implication, at his manager being the one to suggest such a thing nonetheless. “I– hyung-nim!”
Jaesuk had only laughed, shooing him out of the car. “Go get Sunoo. I’ll be waiting here.”
Sunghoon grumbled under his breath but didn’t otherwise argue, securing his mask over his face before closing the car door behind him. He tried to brush away Jaesuk’s words as he hurried inside the station.
Jungwon and Sunoo were both finishing up their final ments as he observed from outside the glass doors, unable to stop the pride swelling up in his chest as he listened in. Sunghoon could tell the moment Sunoo noticed him, faltering slightly in asking their guests for comments before picking up right where he left off.
When he was certain their mics were off, Sunghoon let himself in and started clapping, ignoring Jungwon’s overexaggerated eye rolls in favor of laughing at Sunoo’s curtsy and beaming eye smile.
“What are you doing here, Sunghoon hyung?” Jungwon had asked, already knowing the answer.
“I came to congratulate you both for your hard work. Be a little more happy to see me, okay, Jungwon-ah?”
“Whatever, hyung. Be polite and wait outside, we have to finish up here,” Jungwon waved him off, his gratitude loud and clear in his big eyes.
Sunghoon stuck his tongue out, bowing to their guests and ruffling Sunoo’s hair before exiting. He took a seat on one of the benches outside, pulling out his phone to let Jaesuk know they would be out shortly. Once he got a message back in confirmation, he stuck it back in his pocket and crossed his arms over his chest.
When he looked back up, Sunghoon was met by the sound of Sunoo’s laughter. It was probably one of his most favorite things in the entire world, but not when it was coupled by the latter leaning onto one of the guests, hand resting on his arm.
It was a little too familiar for Sunghoon’s liking, and it woke something ugly in his stomach.
He had risen to his feet in an instant to get a better view over the writing on the doors, biting down on his lip and clenching his fist unintentionally when the same guest (whose name Sunghoon couldn’t be bothered to learn, even if he had spent the car ride over watching the radio stream) leaned down to tease Sunoo, poking his cheek.
He scoffed to absolutely no one, bitter frown hidden by his mask. Sunoo caught his eye through the glass and signaled for him to wait one more minute, finally pulling himself away from the evil clutches of the parasite leeching off of him to grab his coat.
When Sunoo and Jungwon pushed through the door shortly after, Sunghoon turned on his heel, pretending not to see how Sunoo’s hand halted from where it had been reaching out to grab his.
Jungwon’s started up an endless stream of chatter about how he had nearly messed up before they had even arrived at the car, Sunghoon electing to get back into the passenger’s seat instead of in the back rows with Sunoo and Jungwon.
Jaesuk sent him a short look of concern, but Sunghoon shook his head curtly once, and that had been it. He did take up the offer to play music though, attempting to distract himself as Jungwon attempts to engage Sunoo in conversation.
Sunoo hadn’t seemed to be too interested, which had been fine, since Jungwon drifted off to sleep within minutes. Sunghoon shut his own eyes, even if he was the farthest thing from sleep, just as a way to ignore Sunoo’s eyes burning holes into the back of his head.
The other four had been sprawled across the living room when they eventually arrived back at the dorms. Sunghoon scratched under Niki’s chin, turning down the offer for a late night snack and electing to go straight to Jay’s room, beckoning him to follow.
That brought him to where he is now, reaching midnight and recounting how shitty he had felt seeing Sunoo get so close to essentially, a stranger, in the span of an hour.
It planted an unreasonable seed of doubt in his head. Sunghoon had somehow managed to forget that Sunoo was a walking friendship machine. It was his ability to make people feel comfortable so easily that allowed him to succeed in his position as a DJ anyway, but it made him think.
However easily Sunoo is able to chat up people on a live broadcast, he’s able to treat play into his lovey-doveyness with Sunghoon. It doesn’t mean there’s any genuine emotion behind it.
The day they had spent screaming and shrieking at laser tag was fun, but Sunoo probably didn’t walk away with the same starstruck look in his eyes Sunghoon did. Just a bruise from when Sunghoon had accidentally whacked him on the arm with his gun.
And when they decided to post the video from that day along with the one from when they went to a local park and Sunghoon chased a flock of birds across the grass while Sunoo laughed himself silly behind the camera, Sunoo probably didn’t spend the rest of the day rewatching them frame by frame like Sunghoon did.
It was as simple as that; Sunghoon just needed to be reminded of boundaries. He can still give just as much when they’re in public, because he’s still doing this to help Sunoo. But in private, in the depths of his own warped mind, Sunghoon knows better now.
Sunoo is not Sunghoon’s. A worldly beauty like his can’t be contained to one person; he deserves to be cherished by arenas of people cheering his name.
“Sunghoon. Stop moping will you?” Jay snaps him out of his inner monologue, throwing a pillow at his face. (They should probably stop doing that.)
“I’m not moping. I’m serious. I have a hold of my emotions now. I’m sane, and centered, and rational.”
“...”
“How did you just say those dot dot dots? Like I heard your silence. You’re judging me, aren’t you, Jay? Hey. Jay.”
Jay sighs.
“Jay? Jay.”
Sunghoon pokes his side, Jay remains unmoving.
“Jay.”
Jay pushes him off the bed.
“…Bitch.”
A knock at the door pulls the attention of all seven members toward Yeonjun, who stands outside their waiting room. Immediately, they all get to their feet to greet him, bowing eagerly.
He waves them off with an easy smile, one that calms their nerves slightly. “You guys don’t have to keep doing that, you know.”
Heeseung, who was probably the best at masking his anxiety (whether it was because he had known Yeonjun the longest, or because the two of them had similar reputations during their training days that gave them their untouchable auras to all the other trainees), laughs and allows him to pull him closer for a bro-hug.
“It’s a habit, sunbaenim .”
Yeonjun makes an icky face as he makes his rounds hugging the rest of them, cue cards in hand. “Are you all nervous?”
“Always,” Jay scoffs.
Sunghoon can see his fingers jittering by his side but even so, he envies his ability to showcase his emotions so casually. He reaches up and pats his back, Jay thanking him silently by grabbing his hand and squeezing. The two of them are perched on the arm of the couch, Sunoo and Jungwon sitting below them on the cushions.
Sunghoon catches the former’s eye and offers a small smile in case Sunoo’s feeling pre-show nerves, too. He doubts it though, the younger has always been impeccably natural on camera. It seems he’s right, since Sunoo doesn’t appear to be concerned, only nodding slightly in response. His eyes fall from Sunghoon’s face to the hand he has on Jay’s shoulder, then he looks away, addressing Yeonjun.
“How about you, hyung? Have you gotten comfortable in your new position?”
“For sure,” Yeonjun nods enthusiastically, hands in his pockets. He grins cheekily, eyes seeking out Sunghoon’s. “I have Soobinie and our cute Sunghoonie to learn from, don’t I?”
He winks when Sunghoon laughs and Sunghoon pretends that it doesn’t do something to him.
He may be a committed man (whether Sunoo accepts that commitment or not– or even knows it exists– is irrelevant), but Yeonjun is still one of the most attractive, coolest people Sunghoon knows; he’s allowed to have a little gay panic at being in his presence.
“The rehearsal went really well, it took me twice as long to be as natural as you are,” Sunghoon reassures him, waving his free hand.
Yeonjun snorts, slicking his hair back. Sunghoon almost faints, accidentally gripping Jay’s fingers too tight. He winces in apology and Jay glares, smacking his arm and raising an eyebrow in question. Sunghoon silently points to Yeonjun, mouthing something inaudibly. Jay still understands, and they continue their silent conversation, gestures getting wilder and increasingly lewd before Yeonjun turns back their way and they both cease immediately, smiling innocently.
“We’re going on air soon. I’ll be rooting for you guys, okay? Fighting!”
They all chorus similar cheers, Yeonjun waving as he exits.
Once he’s gone, their regular preparation resumes, Heeseung and Jake stretching together, Jungwon standing to speak with their manager, and Niki running through the dance with Jay.
Sunghoon lets out a heavy breath, allowing himself to zone out for a second. There have been few moments of tranquility in his life lately, and despite the teasing he endures from both his members and fans, it’s always nice to just take a moment of silence without thinking about anything.
He’s startled out of his staring into nothingness by fingers massaging his neck. From the hand and smell alone, he knows it’s Sunoo.
“You ready, babe?”
Sunghoon nearly chokes, but he doesn’t say anything. He only nods, feeling the tension seep out of his body. He lets out a small groan when Sunoo finds a knot, working at it softly. “Yeah. This is my favorite title song so far. And our fanbase is incredible.”
Sunoo hums. “Yeah, they are. I’m proud of you, hyung,”
Sunghoon’s head whips around, eyes blown wide. “Suddenly? For what?”
Sunoo’s fingers stop moving, but just rest at the base of his neck, stroking gently at the ends of his hair. He shrugs, sharp eyes trailing up and down Sunghoon’s arm as he thinks. “You’ve come a long way. And on a less related note, you’ve been helping me with the weird dating situation, and you’ve been really great.”
Sunghoon warms, heart fluttering. Unlike with Yeonjun, who had set off a purely disastrous, near fanboy-ish reaction just by being near, Sunoo’s words cause a wave of calm to crash over him, his belief in him enough to convince him he could hold the world on his shoulders.
“Thanks, Ddeonu.”
Sunoo wrinkles his nose, pouting. “Do you have to keep calling me that?”
Sunghoon huffs a quiet laugh, shaking his head. “But you react like that every time, how can I not?” Sunoo rolls his eyes. Sunghoon knew he would. “I’ll stop if it annoys you.”
“No,” his response comes immediately, definitive. “I’d tell you if I wanted you to stop,” Sunoo mumbles, face hidden from view as he walks away. “It’s fine if it’s you.”
“Today, nominated for their new mini album is ENHYPEN. ENHYPEN, please introduce yourself,” Jeong-eui cues them in, just as rehearsed.
“1,2 Connect! Hello, we are ENHYPEN. Thank you Engenes for your support on our new title song. This is our first comeback where we could perform in front of live audience music shows, so we’re very glad that we can meet you all like this,” Jungwon leads their introduction smoothly, clapping with a microphone still held in hand.
There’s an overwhelming round of applause, and the bright lights combined with the lightsticks of the fans that had come to see them make Sunoo feel like he’s floating– it’s a whole different type of feeling, one of those moments where he truly feels like he’s made it.
“Welcome once again,” Yeonjun takes over, adjusting his stance to face Jake. “Jake-ssi!”
“Yes,” Jake smiles toothily, not even flinching when squeals and cheers erupt around him.
“Will you tell us more about the feel of your song? What vibe should we look forward to?”
“Of course,” Jake nods, speaking to the camera.
Sunghoon stands behind him, in the back row with Sunoo and Jungwon. He feels a hand sneak over and slide into his own, and he looks down at Sunoo in surprise. The younger doesn’t even turn his way, facing forward as Jake continues his conversation with Yeonjun.
When he realizes seconds later that Sunoo isn’t planning on acknowledging him at all, he slowly turns back to the front, nudging his shoulder (mostly to distract himself from the fact that Kim Sunoo is holding his hand on live television, holy shit, what the fuck is he supposed to do?) .
“You’ve given us a lot to look forward to! If you should win, what do you have planned to thank your supportive fans during your encore stage. Sunoo-ssi?” Bum-June questions, still perfectly in line with the script.
Sunoo nods, letting go of Sunghoon’s hand so he can use both to raise his mic to his lips. “For our Engenes who worked so hard for us, if we win today, we’ll switch parts and sing another member’s lines.” The MCs ooh and ahh as the crowd claps, only bringing Sunoo’s cheeks up higher as he smiles. “And Sunghoon-ssi!”
Sunghoon blinks, racking his brain. He wasn’t supposed to have any lines here, and he sees Jeong-eui discreetly trying to check her own script. Nonetheless, he takes the mic Heeseung passes up to him (he didn’t even have one, so he’s not going crazy– there really weren’t any lines for him here) and does his best not to choke.
“Yes? Sunoo-ssi?” Both of them come out a clear question and he does his best to not let his panic show on his face.
“Whose part are you hoping to sing if we win? Personally, I have one in mind,” Sunoo teases.
Yeonjun plays along, pretending to think, finger posed against his temple.
Sunghoon internally sighs, cursing Sunoo for having the confidence to pull shit like this. He won’t deny that he also gets an adrenaline rush for being put on the spot, though.
“Mm… I don’t have one yet. Engenes will just have to wait and see,” he tilts his head to the side, the members letting out disappointed groans as if they weren’t already aware all of the parts had been assigned already.
“When can we see your part switch, Niki?” Bum-June continues on, back on track.
“Right after the next performance by JUST B. Shall we go see?”
“Music… Start!”
The camera director signals them off and they relax, the three of them on top hopping down from the step to bow to the MCs. When Sunghoon goes to shake Yeonjun’s hand, he smirks and leans in closer, whispering into his ear.
“Sunoo’s brave. He’s a good match for you, no?”
Sunghoon’s spit gets caught in his throat and he coughs, backing away from a giggling Yeonjun with bright red ears.
They win.
It’s not the first time, but each time, Sunghoon feels like he’s learning over and over again his capacity for sheer pride and joy, how grateful he is to be here with his members.
The confetti cannons go off, the MCs cheer and hand them the trophy, and the other groups leave the stage as their backing track begins.
Sunghoon has the first line, which is why he’s expecting Niki to begin singing.
He doesn’t though– instead Sunoo’s angelic voice fills the air and Sunghoon turns in every direction before he locates him on the other side of the stage, singing and waving to the crowd.
That’s not how it had been divided, and he says as much to Jake, who’s closest to him.
“You’re taking Sunoo’s part,” Jake mouths back, neither of them using their mics so as to not broadcast their conversation.
Sunghoon nods, still dazed, as Heeseung begins on Jay’s lines.
So everyone else’s are still the same?
Before, they had drawn names and decided that Heeseung would take Jay’s, Jay would take Niki’s, Niki would take Sunghoon’s, Sunghoon would take Jungwon’s , Jungwon would take Jake’s, Jake would take Sunoo’s, and Sunoo would take Heeseung’s .
Sunoo is hopping around the stage, waddling like a penguin with his back turned to Sunghoon.
Two can play that game, he decides, rushing up behind him and scooping him up.
Sunoo shrieks, and his mic catches some of it, so naturally all the eyes of the audience and the members go to them. Sunghoon maneuvers Sunoo until he’s bridal style, sprinting as fast as he can as the newly dyed ginger demands for him to put him down through laughter.
Neither of them pay much mind to the shouting from the audience or the snickers from their members, who, of those that aren’t singing, are actively mimicking Sunoo’s panicked screams.
When Sunghoon finally relents and puts Sunoo down so he can take on his part, he barely gets through it, unable to be anywhere near stable after running around with a whole person in his arms and still laughing like crazy as Sunoo shoves him lightly.
Jungwon is taking on Jake’s bridge part as the song nears its end when Sunoo hops on his back, Sunghoon’s arms flying out on instinct to catch him.
Sunoo sensibly directs his hand mic away from Sunghoon’s mouth when he clasps his arms together under his chin, leaning down to speak to be heard over the music.
“Can’t believe you just pulled something like that.”
“Me? You’re the one who switched the parts, babe ,” Sunghoon says pointedly. Sunoo flushes, hoping Sunghoon can’t see from his angle. “You’re a little too good at this, no?”
Sunoo only chuckles softly, his breath tickling Sunghoon’s ear. “Just doing what comes natural. You’re fun to play with, hyung.”
That makes him roll his eyes, Sunoo too cheeky for his own good. Sunghoon thinks it’s only right to knock him down a peg.
So, he does what any sensible person would do, and waits until his (Sunoo’s) part comes up, and the second the mic goes up to his mouth, Sunghoon begins spinning in circles rapidly. As a result, what comes out of Sunoo’s mouth isn’t his typical stable, angelic singing, but a shocked shriek and a panicked, “Yah, Park Sunghoon!!”
The thirty seconds in which Sunghoon keeps dragging Sunoo every which way like a ragdoll are filled with laughter from the members, who don’t bother coming to Sunoo’s rescue, and encouragement from the audience. And when he finally slows down, all of that dies out and Sunghoon gets to hear Sunoo’s winded giggles in his ear. Unconsciously, it makes him smile too, cheeks uncomfortably stretched out.
Eventually, he has to put Sunoo down, and it means he immediately becomes the recipient of tiny kitten punches that don’t really do much damage.
“Hyunggg what was that for? I’m all dizzy now.”
Sunghoon only pokes his cheek, too overwhelmed by the adrenaline of getting to have Sunoo like this, while the world watches. It doesn’t matter to him in the moment that they have to hide behind a ruse. He thinks Sunoo is worth any stupid company insurance policy.
So instead of saying something stupid that would ruin the glow of their excitement, he just shrugs, his smile taking on a meaning only he, and maybe Sunoo, would now.
“You’re fun to play with too, Sunoo.”
“Isn’t this a little much for a fake one month anniversary?” Sunoo questions, letting Sunghoon drag him forward nonetheless.
“Call me a hopeless romantic,” Sunghoon mutters, voice partially lost to the wind. Sunoo hears him anyway, only smiling because he knows Sunghoon can’t see him.
The word echoes in his head, fake, fake, fake , and he does his best to not obviously cringe– if this was one of the places he had imagined bringing Sunoo when he would think about alternate universes where they were together, no one had to be the wiser.
He’s here for a reason, and it has absolutely nothing to do with his own ambitions.
“And either way,” Sunghoon raises his voice, turning around to face Sunoo with that devilishly charming smirk of his on his face. “There’s bound to be one person here who recognizes us, and posts about it like crazy online.”
Sunoo interlaces their fingers tighter, quickening his pace for a few seconds so he and Sunghoon are walking forward side-by-side. “People start wondering what the hell Kim Sunoo and Park Sunghoon from ENHYPEN , rising rookie group, are doing at Namsan tower,” he continues seamlessly, beginning to understand.
Sunghoon produces a lock from his pocket, throwing it up in the air and catching it effortlessly before handing it over. “We could actually write something romantic on it, so if there’s anyone actually crazy enough to sort through the lot and find ours, it’s a nice little surprise.”
If he writes anything remotely romantic, I’ll shit my pants.
He and Sunoo pause in front of one of the walls, the link chain fence covered end to end in colorful padlocks, messages written on each and every one. Messages of hope, love, friendship, family– theirs would be a little unconventional, if Sunghoon knows Sunoo at all.
(And he thinks he does.)
Sunoo reaches into Sunghoon’s front jacket pocket, where a marker had been peeking over the hem. He uncaps it and poises his hand over the lock, eyes glimmering under the sun. “What about ‘Kim Sunoo, number one visual,’ and ‘Park Sunghoon, number one visual’s hyung?’”
So true, king .
Sunghoon squints, snatching the pen away. “You think? It’s a little rudimentary, no?”
Sunoo rolls his eyes, but relents, making grabby hands for the marker. He pouts when Sunghoon keeps it just out of reach, looking suspicious. “Hyuunng. I promise I won’t write that. Trust me, okay? I’ll do something… artfully sentimental.”
Sunghoon doesn’t trust that for one bit, but because he’s weak and stupid, he lowers the marker. Even if the message ends up being something stupid, it’s worth it just for the way Sunoo’s nose crinkles cutely when Sunghoon bops it with the cap of the marker before handing it over.
“Where’d you even get the idea to come here, hyung? Other than the fact that it’s overly populated, Namsan Tower is kind of random. And hard to get to, it literally took us like half an hour to get up here,” Sunoo complains under his breath, beginning to write with careful strokes.
“I enjoyed the walk up,” Sunghoon shrugs, hands stuck in his pockets as he looks around inconspicuously. He clocks at least three different people, or groups of people, huddled behind their phones, and smiles down at his feet. “And I thought it’d be a nice change of pace from what we’ve been doing lately. I mean, we’re just as much under watch. But, no big-ass cameras in our face, at least. No script, official or unofficial. If anyone wants to hear what we’re saying they’ll have to be right up in our faces since we don’t have the displeasure of being mic’ed up. It’s private, ish.”
Sunghoon looks out over the railing, taking in the view. In the process, he misses the appreciative look on Sunoo’s face, which fades just as quick as it comes. He schools his face into something neutral when Sunghoon turns back his way, nodding toward the lock.
“You done?”
“Yeah.”
Sunoo forgoes letting him see, brushing past to secure it to the fence. He goes straight for a spot at the very top of the fence, obscured only slightly. When he steps away, he continues to back up until he’s shoulder to shoulder with Sunghoon. His hand naturally finds Sunghoon’s, joining together with a practiced ease. The other crosses across his body to rest in the crook of the older’s arm, and after a moment, his chin floats down to nestle into Sunghoon’s neck.
“You’re not gonna go look?” Sunoo asks softly, angling his eyes upward to get a better look at Sunghoon’s face as he shakes his head.
“No. I trust in whatever nonsense you wrote on there,” Sunghoon murmurs, making Sunoo laugh softly. And in a brief flash of stupidity, or inspired honesty, he adds on, “Besides, I kinda like where I am right now.”
He doesn’t know what he expected. Maybe for Sunoo to stiffen and pull away, or march forward and rip the lock off the chain and throw it over the ledge, if not just to remind him that this is all fictional.
Instead, Sunoo lets out a soft hum of agreement, maybe? And then lifts his chin just slightly in order to drop a featherlight kiss onto Sunghoon’s shoulder.
It makes Sunghoon start, though he regains enough control to not yank his arm out of Sunoo’s hold in complete surprise. There was a moment immediately after he had made contact that Sunghoon’s first thought was that it was a murder attempt, Sunoo trying to make him have a seizure right then and there.
When Sunoo looks up at him with innocent eyes, Sunghoon can’t manage much more than a disbelieving scoff, doing his best not to bare his teeth in a frighteningly happy smile.
“What was that for? You’ve never done anything like that before,” Sunghoon says softly, not unkindly.
It’s true: the last month of them actively promoting both their comeback and their relationship, the farthest they had gone was holding hands. And that much was common for most of ENHYPEN anyway; Sunoo and Sunghoon really had to work overtime to set themselves apart from the casual skinship the group members had grown familiar with. Realistically, what differentiated their touches from any others was that when they weren’t holding hands, or Sunghoon wasn’t wrapping his arm around Sunoo’s shoulders, they were trying to figure out ways to discreetly tickle each other in the most random ways possible. It was a solid strategy too– it appeared to the outside eye as some sort of intimate inside joke or interaction only the two of them were in on, and they got to make shooting variety show content much more entertaining.
It doesn’t seem to bother Sunoo much though, since he only exhales, breath coming out in frosty puffs.
“I know.” His bright brown eyes seek out Sunghoon’s from under his long lashes. “I just like that I’m here with you, too.”
Then, the hand that had been wrapped near his elbow tugs him forward, Sunoo smiling like a kid in a candy store. “I’m not letting you leave without seeing the lock, though. I’m proud of that, it’s going to outlast both of our legacies as artists, hyungie.”
Sunghoon raises an eyebrow skeptically, but follows Sunoo’s finger where it points to their lock, loud and proud against the rest. It makes him smile inexplicably, eyes disappearing into happy crescents as he automatically nods his approval.
“Good, right?” Sunoo presses proudly, his smug expression telling Sunghoon he already knows it is.
He nods nonetheless, shaking his head. “I like it. It’s simple. Cute. And not too incriminating.”
Sunoo whips his phone out, choosing to ignore the last part as he opens the camera. “Come on. Even if we don’t ever share this, we should still keep certain memories for ourselves.”
Sunghoon wordlessly complies, bending down and scooching closer to Sunoo, leaving only enough space for their lock to appear on camera in between them. They stand there posing for a few photos, pretending to not notice those who are still tossing glances back at them, even if they’re decent enough to put their own cameras away.
Once both of them are sufficiently satisfied with the photos, they stand there for a little longer before it starts to get a little too chilly and Sunghoon suggests walking back.
“Hyung, it’s such a long way down. Can’t we just stay up here and then force our manager to fly a helicopter up to get us?”
Sunghoon smiles at Sunoo’s antics, but drags him toward the path back without letting him get another word in.
“If we start now, we still have time to get food before we have to be at the company.”
Sunoo continues to drag his feet, not because he’s actually too tired to walk, or is incapable of having some decency in public, but because he’s willing to sacrifice that decency if it means making Park Sunghoon’s life a little harder. Sunghoon persists though, tugging on his hand.
“Come on. If we make it halfway down in ten minutes, I’ll piggyback you for the rest of the way.”
Sunoo walks a little faster.
Being an idol means dealing with the less glamorous parts of the industry, like long events that stretch out for hours at a time without rest.
If any one good thing has come out of Sunghoon adjusting to their new behavior in public, it’s that while the other members are beginning to wear down an hour into their fansign, he and Sunoo are both going strong.
The last fan of the first group is making their way down the line, leaving all the members who have already signed their album to sit and wait for further instruction. One of them is Sunghoon, who takes one look at Sunoo twiddling his pen and slides out of his seat, ignoring the questioning glance his manager sends him.
He waits until Sunoo gets distracted by someone in the audience to slip in front of him, folding his hands neatly on top of the table and counting the seconds until he realizes.
It doesn’t take long obviously, since there’s an instant reaction from those sitting in the crowd, who started paying closer attention the second Sunghoon stood. When Sunoo tries to figure out the reason behind the screaming, his eyes fall on Sunghoon and widen in understanding. He plays along quickly, grabbing a spare album from the table and opening it up.
“What name should I use to sign?” Sunoo asks, pen already streaking across his own photo page.
“Sung. Hoon.”
“Ah, what a nice name. Have you been a fan for long?”
Sunghoon smiles, in the background he can hear people trying to make out what they’re saying. He’s sure he even hears someone shush another for their video recording.
“Mm, I’ve been rooting for you since your I-Land days. From the first episode, I especially hoped you would make it.”
Sunoo’s hand pauses and he looks up, the look in his eyes indecipherable as he searches Sunghoon’s face for some sign he’s expecting him to laugh and only finds soft eyes gazing back down at him. A quiet bubble of laughter works its way up his throat and he resumes writing, flipping to Sunghoon’s page next.
“You’re quite loyal then. Does that mean I’m your favorite?”
“No? My favorite is Jungwon.”
“Hyuuung!” Sunoo whines, fist thumping against the table. Distantly, someone squeals about how cute he is, and Sunghoon agrees. “You just had to ruin the moment,” he pouts, returning to his message nonetheless.
He takes care in writing, though Sunghoon can’t quite make out what it says from his angle. He tries to lean forward, but Sunoo only shields the album from view and shakes his head. Sunghoon slumps back in his seat, head lolling to the side.
“Mean. Hurry up, I want to go meet the other members.”
“The other members aren’t as cool as I am, kindly stop being an impatient little brat, hyungnim,” Sunoo sing-songs to him in a sickeningly sweet voice. He returns to one of the first photos, a group photo, and begins doodling all over.
“How much are you writing–?”
The album closes forcefully, Sunoo mock-sighing tiredly. “Done.”
Sunghoon reaches for it, only for his fingers to close around empty air. Sunoo had held the album up above his head, eyes boring into his. It makes him reel in surprise.
“Give it.”
“No. You were being annoying, so I think I’m going to hold onto it until I think you deserve it.”
Sunghoon groans, hands sliding against the tabletop as he leans back in his chair, only to lunge forward seconds later, making a desperate reach for it.
He, and everyone eagerly watching, exclaim when Sunoo dodges him easily. “Predictable. I know you too well, hyung-ah,” he waves a finger in his direction, unabashedly gloating.
Sunghoon doesn’t give up easily, pushing up out of his chair and circling around the table. Sunoo shrieks and rises to his feet, running to Heeseung’s chair and using him as a human shield, their eldest jolting in surprise, repeating “why, why, why?” as his head swivels around.
There’s delighted giggles in the background which only eggs on Sunghoon’s gleeful smile as he makes another attempt. The only laughter he cares about though, is Sunoo’s, which rings loud and clear above all the hubbub in his ears.
Eventually, he gives up trying to reach over Heeseung’s crouched body and makes a grab for Sunoo himself, arms wrapping around his waist and pulling him away from his human shield. One of the younger’s hands grabs at his own, trying half-heartedly to loosen them while he keeps the album held above their heads still.
Before they can squabble anymore, their manager summons them back to their seats. He gives them both a warning glare, but there’s a playful glint in his eye.
Even though he can no longer make a grab for it, Sunghoon’s eyes don’t leave the album. Sunoo’s signature sits big and proud on the front cover, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t more interested in the message underneath.
“Are you seriously not going to let me have it?” Sunghoon whispers, leaning over in his seat so only Sunoo can hear.
Sunoo doesn’t turn to face him, or otherwise acknowledge that he even heard him. Sunghoon would’ve even repeated himself if not for the very slight lift to Sunoo’s lips as he nearly imperceptibly shakes his head.
He flips a pen over in his hands again and again, staring into space. Sunghoon’s breath catches in his throat when he responds after what feels like a decade.
“Not yet. Not until I’m sure.”
“Of what?”
Sunoo blinks, eyes flitting over to meet Sunghoon’s for mere seconds before they slip away again.
“Of you, hyung.”
“Holy hell, I’m tired.”
“Yeah, well. You and Sunoo certainly have to be more active than the rest of us lately. With an emphasis on you,” Jake offers him a smile that should be sympathetic, but reads as teasing instead. He sets a bowl of ramen down in front of Sunghoon, who lifts his forehead off the table and picks up a pair of chopsticks. There’s a bottle of soju next to him already half-emptied. “How are you holding up?”
“I’m awake, constantly, because I can’t ever sleep, and stress-eating ramen at midnight. Sunoo’s sound asleep. All things considered, I’d say we’re both doing swimmingly.”
Jake snorts and calls for anyone else who wants to eat ramen before he takes his own seat, Jay and Heeseung joining them shortly after. They settle down, accepting their own bowls eagerly.
Jake pours them and himself a glass with the remaining alcohol left in the bottle. Sunghoon empties what remains in his own cup and holds it out for a refill. Jake raises a brow but complies nonetheless, the four clinking their glasses together in a compulsory cheers before taking a shot.
“God, I’m so glad we have an off-day tomorrow,” Jay groans through a mouthful of noodles.
“Half off-day,” Heeseung reminds as he slurps down his own nonetheless. He closes his eyes in bliss, slumping against his chair. “I can probably eat a bowl five times this size, though.” When he opens his eyes again, they find Sunghoon. “You’re not eating?”
Sunghoon prods at his bowl, raising an eyebrow. “Give me a second. I’m waiting for the endless pit of loneliness in my stomach to disappear so I can actually get full. Otherwise I might just eat until I pass out.”
“Drama queen,” Jay snorts, shoving his shoulder. He slicks a hand through his hair before his arm comes to rest on the back of his chair. Sunghoon envies him for looking so relaxed. “You’ve been doing alright, though. More than alright, if we’re being honest.”
Sunghoon sighs, centering himself before shoveling a massive bite of ramen into his mouth, barely stopping to wipe the broth dripping down his chin before swallowing another with minimal chewing. He stays hunched over his bowl, continuing at an impressive (and frightening) pace.
When he finally straightens to empty the bowl of any remaining broth, he slams it back down onto the table and looks Jay in the eye, deadpanning, “I can appear collected at surface level and still be dying on the inside, I contain multitudes, Jjongsaeng.”
“I mean, I know you two haven’t done anything super forward, but there haven’t been ridiculously terrible reactions online. It’s all been pretty good,” Heeseung offers with a half-shrug. “The company’s not being too ridiculous in their demands, are they?”
“No, no. The problem is all mine. You shouldn’t underestimate my ability to make my own life a living hell,” Sunghoon sighs, smiling serenely. He pours himself yet another serving of soju, though to his credit, he does make it a reasonable amount. “You ever been in love, hyung?”
“He’s getting philosophical now?” Jake whispers to Heeseung, who only shakes his head, patting his shoulder to silence him.
“No, not that I know of, Sunghoon-ah, why do you ask?” Heeseung plays along, crossing his arms and resting his elbows on the table, leaning forward to listen in.
Sunghoon’s smile grows, stretching ear to ear as he lets out a single laugh. “Don’t.”
Jay stops mid-chew, eyes dragging up to search for a trace of sarcasm on Sunghoon’s face. When he finds none, he sobers, brows furrowed.
He knows better than anyone else the toll not being able to be honest about his feelings for Sunoo has taken on Sunghoon, but even then, he never thought that it was something he would trade for anything. There always seemed to be a warped sort of pleasure Sunghoon derived from that agony, but Jay always chalked it up to emotional masochism.
“Do you want to stop, Sunghoon? I mean, not being in love, I know it can’t be that simple. But the promo thing with Sunoo, there’s no reason to keep doing this,” Jake voices his worry, Heeseung and Jay nodding in agreement.
Sunghoon blinks, his face almost surprised. “No? Why would I?”
Heeseung tilts his head in confusion, the first to speak as he lets out a disbelieving chuckle. “Well, it sounds like you’re not too fond of your current predicament. Is being in love that bad, Sunghoon?”
With the experience of a lived wiseman, Sunghoon shakes his head, folding his hands atop his lower torso. “It’s wonderful. Worth every bit of the pain, actually.”
Jay asks the question for all of them. “Then why not?”
Sunghoon hums, a brief silence engulfing them as he gives a considerable amount of thought to how best to phrase his response. When he opens his mouth again, his words come out a stark and simple declaration.
“Because it’s addicting.”
Sunghoon’s gaze is gentle, but it feels like he could pierce through any one of their souls if he focuses on them for long enough. Because he burns with intensity, the undying truth behind his words, even a whispered proclamation would fill the whole room.
“Sunoo doesn’t even look my way, and I think I might suffocate without him,” Sunghoon continues, tracing the rim of his glass.
His fingernails are buffed and trimmed neatly, a product of living his life in the spotlight since adolescence. Always perfect, always polished to a T. He had spoken the truth to Jay minutes earlier; the surface doesn’t match the constant disarray contained within him.
No one ever saw the extreme anxiety that would consume him before skating competitions, how he would be driven to the edge, and his body would reject any food, emptying his stomach into toilets before he took to the ice. No one ever saw how he laid awake at night each and every time someone would be eliminated the following morning in I-LAND.
It wasn’t until he became a member of ENHYPEN, and realized exactly how real his affection toward Sunoo was, that he was forced to share those sides of himself, forced to rely on others for support. In that light, even though he would never be stupid or selfish enough to blame him for it, Sunoo really did bring out the worst parts of him.
He was an addiction, the worst kind. And yet Sunghoon doesn’t think he could place any tangible value on any moment of his life before he met Sunoo.
Again, it’s as he said– multitudes.
“I don’t know who I am without him.”
Sunghoon offers each of them a wry smile, tilting his head back and exposing the column of his neck as he lets every last remnant of soju drip onto his tongue. It’s a strong, inebriant; Sunoo is stronger.
“You’re scared?”
It’s meant to be a statement, but it leaves Heeseung’s mouth a question. Either way, Sunghoon nods in affirmation.
“Quite terrified. I’ll be okay, though.”
Jay watches him with careful eyes. “How can you be so sure?”
Sunghoon traces shapes onto the surface of the table, his body present, but mind somewhere far away. “Do you know how addiction works? How it ends?” Their open kitchen window gives way to a ghost of a breeze. “You can get clean. You can overdose. You can relapse, and give yourself the chance to do it all over again. But with Sunoo, there’s none of those variables. I’m on a one-way track.”
“How do you figure?” Jake listens aptly, truthfully a little too enraptured– he should be worried with the way Sunghoon is talking, but honestly, he seems to be content, so Jake doesn’t bother to try to change his mind.
“Well,” Sunghoon looks up at the ceiling, wetting his lips with his tongue. “I don’t think there is life without Sunoo for me. My existence was basically always made to revolve around his, which means no amount of Sunoo could ever be too much for me. He could consume me whole and I wouldn’t mind, which probably means overdose isn’t a possibility.”
Heeseung raises an eyebrow, and his expression reads loud and clear, basically shouting, No shit . He stays quiet, though, letting Sunghoon continue his shockingly coherent and scarily profound babbling.
“And I don’t have the strength to get clean. I’ll spend the rest of my sad, sad life pining after him. So relapse and sobriety are out of sight.” He purses his lips and writes Sunoo’s name into the table with his index. “I’ll keep loving him until I can’t breathe…because if I stop before then, I’ve guaranteed death anyways. I mean really, I’m just the world’s foremost idiot.”
And isn’t he, really?
The other three have little time to contemplate the poetry Sunghoon had just spouted like a 20th century theatre fanatic before he’s bending forward and passing out against the table.
Jay stares unblinkingly at his unmoving form, only looking away to glance at Jake and Heeseung for guidance.
“Is he, like…?”
“Dead?” Jake questions, genuinely scared.
Heeseung rises to his feet first, standing behind Sunghoon’s chair. In spite of it all, he smiles exasperatedly and pulls him up, wrapping the latter’s arms around his shoulders. “No. Just passed out, which is what happens when you consume two servings of ramen and a bottle of soju under ten minutes while being a chronic lightweight on less than five hours of sleep.” He readjusts Sunghoon’s hold on him when he feels the youngest of them start to slip. “Drink water before you sleep, the two of you. And for the record, I’m
off
Sunghoon hangover duty tomorrow, I’m going to be at the company all day.”
He exits the kitchen, leaving Jake and Jay, who returns to his ramen.
“Not it,” Jake says the second Heeseung is out of sight, rushing away from the table before Jay can protest or even pull his chopsticks out of his mouth, mumbling muffled complaints.
Jake’s gleeful cackles fade as he runs through the hall, Jay watching him go.
Honestly, Park Sunghoon makes his life a living hell.
Sunghoon recovers from his drinking binge, and other than a painful morning spent emptying his stomach out into the toilet bowl, he’s otherwise unharmed.
Though right now, he’s wishing he drank himself into a concussion or something, just so he could not be here.
His arms are shaking, and he thinks his legs are about to give out from underneath him. There’s sweat running down his forehead and each breath he takes in makes his chest constrict painfully, wanting nothing more than to sit down .
Even then, Sunoo doesn’t let up.
“How much longer?” Sunghoon whines for the nth time in the last hour, accepting the hanger thrust at him nonetheless.
Sunoo hums happily, walking over to sort through the next rack. He pulls off a cream sweater, holding it up against Sunghoon’s torso for comparison before nodding in approval and laying it atop the stack of clothing quickly accumulating in his arms.
“You have to trust me on this, babe. This is necessary.”
“Why? I seriously don’t see the point–”
“Hyung.”
Sunoo whirls around, gripping a dark denim jacket. He begins walking, Sunghoon automatically following in his footsteps (he tries to match pace, but with the abnormally heavy articles of clothing weighing him down and obscuring his line of vision, he ends up trailing behind).
“Out of the two of us, I’m inarguably the expert. I had a TWICE fan account before I became a trainee– I know the terrain, I understand what fans want.”
“Okay…”
“ So ,” Sunoo presses, sighing with an exasperation that Sunghoon can’t tell is genuine or not, “I happen to know that if the right people so much as see us wearing matching socks , madness occurs. Ooh, socks!”
Sunghoon nearly crashes into a wall as Sunoo tugs him over to a literal sock section, rifling through them eagerly.
“Right, see that much makes sense. But don’t you think this is a little overkill?”
“Calm down, hyung, I literally just need new socks. So do you, I saw a single one of yours next to Jake hyung’s bed and I don’t want to ask any questions.”
Sunghoon grimaces, allowing Sunoo to choose a pair for him and balance it carefully atop his clothes.
Mercifully, Sunoo leads them to the changing rooms soon after, the staff directing them to a private suite without needing to be asked. They take the clothes from Sunghoon one by one and set them on a rack while Sunoo settles on the couch and orders them a small platter of hor d’oeuvres.
As the remaining staff bow and file out, Sunghoon sighs and falls back on the couch, unintentionally groaning from how nice it feels to finally relax his legs. He stretches his arm over his head, which lolls to the side once his cheek brushes against the cushion and he feels how soft it is.
He thinks he could literally fall asleep within seconds.
“Hyung, what are you doing? Go hurry and start trying stuff on!” Sunoo pouts, waving his hand impatiently.
A strangled whine forces its way out of his dry throat (he hadn’t had access to water for the last six hours ), and his back slumps even further into the couch. “Why me? I don’t even think I can lift my arms up anymore. You go first, isn’t the whole point of it that we both get clothes so we match?”
“Once I decide on outfits that are fit for you to wear, then I can find clothes for me to match. I look good in everything,” Sunoo says matter-of-factly. Sunghoon can’t find it in him to disagree– Sunoo could wear a fluorescent green potato sack and he would still find him beautiful– so he pushes himself to his feet and trudges to grab his first outfit, catching a glimpse of Sunoo’s excited smile and forcing himself to walk just a little faster.
Sunghoon takes a few minutes to return, Sunoo having taken out his phone to keep himself occupied while he waited. When he’s done changing, his voice carries into the room before his body.
“You know, I don’t exactly know under what settings you’re planning for us to match if this is the outfit you chose.”
“Just come out already,” Sunoo whines, the exhaustion slightly getting to him, too. Whether he would ever admit it or not, when Sunoo gets tired, he gets cranky.
“If you were thinking red carpet,” Sunghoon ducks through a curtain, adjusting his sleeves as his nose crinkles with doubt, “or even press docket…”
Sunoo looks up from his phone, fingers going limp as he lets it fall onto the glass table in front of him.
“…I’m pretty sure our stylists would cover that. This is a lot, no?”
Sunghoon is laughing, but Sunoo can tell he’s trying to cover up how awkward he must feel, dressed in slacks, an unbuttoned vest over his dress shirt. He holds two ties in his hands, which waver in the air uncertainly.
“I wasn’t sure which one.”
Sunoo is painfully aware of the fake dating cliche he’s playing into as he approaches, sliding his fingers up one of the ties until his thumb brushes over Sunghoon’s. “This one,” he declares nonetheless.
Sunghoon tosses the other one onto a nearby ottoman. Sunoo moves to tie it for him without being asked, tiptoeing slightly to reach around Sunghoon’s neck. He knows that from his figure skating days, Sunghoon has plenty of experience with neckties, so the older letting him do it regardless allows him to proceed without hesitation.
“You know,” Sunoo starts, working deftly with the thin shaft of fabric. “In every friends to lovers scenario I’ve witnessed, there’s always some sort of scene loaded to the brim with sexual tension, because clueless #1 is tying clueless #2’s tie.”
Sunghoon’s eyes stay locked on Sunoo’s face as he slips one end through the hole, tugging. “Two of them?” He questions softly, receiving an affirmative hum.
“There’s always an oblivious, stupidly charming clueless, and a ruggedly handsome, emotionally guarded clueless.”
A short laugh escapes Sunghoon’s throat before he could stop it. Sunoo had always been straight forward, apparently even with his fake dating tropes. “Which one would I be?”
Sunoo’s fox eyes dart up to meet his, rendering him instantly speechless. He adjusts the tie one final time and lets his hands rest against Sunghoon’s chest briefly before they drop down to his side.
“Both.”
He steps away, the feeling of his warmth being stolen away a nasty sensation.
“Lucky for us, there’s nothing like that happening here, is there?” Sunoo’s mouth twitches as walks back to take a seat, pointing a finger behind him as he turns his back. “Button.”
Sunghoon complies, refusing to look away from Sunoo even as he begins to fasten the buttons of his vest.
If nothing else, that’s one thing that’s changed over the last few weeks. Sunghoon doesn’t look away anymore. It’s now that he notices Sunoo never did.
“To answer your question, I’m not sure. I wanted to cover our bases, I guess.” He leans back against the couch, eyes glistening with an emotion Sunghoon can’t name. There is something he can identify though, something almost bitter in his soft smile. “But looking this handsome, it’d be a waste to not use it. I’m open to suggestions.”
Sunghoon wants to come closer– he always wants to be closer, until it was like the space had never existed between them. But he doesn’t, content to stand and observe Sunoo from afar for now.
The younger searches his face, atmosphere much too heavy for either of their liking. He tilts his head to the side, tone passive. “Go try on the next. I’m tired.”
The clothes aren’t anything life-changing, but even though by the end of it his back aches, his feet are blistering, and his hair is matted down with sweat, Sunghoon walks away from a full day spent by Sunoo’s side with a dozen new matching outfits.
When he returns to the dorm, Jungwon and Jay are doing a live at the company, and Heeseung and Jake had gone to work out with a few of the TXT members. Niki’s sound asleep in their room, which leaves Sunghoon and Sunoo to themselves.
He had wanted to flop onto the bed and recharge, but Niki had so conveniently chosen his bed to sleep in, so instead Sunghoon makes himself comfortable in the living room.
After a little while, Sunoo comes to join him, changed out of his day clothes into shorts and a shirt that looks massive on him. He plops down next to Sunghoon with a quarter pint of ice cream held in his hand and a spoon.
It takes a second to register.
“That’s my shirt.”
Sunoo looks at him and blinks once, lips pursed around his spoon. He pulls it away from his mouth, licks the remaining ice cream away and swallows.
“Yeah.”
Then he goes back to eating and Sunghoon is left to look away from him, at the black screen of the TV.
“Okay.”
“Hyung.”
“Yeah?” Sunghoon’s head immediately turns toward Sunoo, though his eyes follow a little later.
Sunoo’s breath catches in his throat slightly, and he falters, just for a second. Sunghoon misses it and Sunoo recovers, eyes falling away before he shakes his head.
“Nothing. It’s comfortable.”
Sunghoon chuckles lightly. “Keep it, then. Looks better on you than it does on me.” An amused smile plays on his lips, eyes twinkling. “Everything does.”
There’s a silent beat when neither of them talk, dare to look away from each other. Sunoo’s legs are crossed while Sunghoon’s hang over the edge of the cushion. His thigh presses against Sunoo’s knee, their proximity allowing him to see Sunoo in all his natural beauty. His cheeks are still rosy from when he scrubbed his face to take his make-up off, the roots of his hair barely damp from what his headband couldn’t cover.
He’s about to open his mouth to say something when Sunghoon beats him to it.
“Hey,” Sunghoon places a hand on his knee. “I have an idea.”
“Hyung.”
Sunoo’s mouth hangs open, speechless. He stares at the entrance to a restaurant he had been wanting to try for a while, one that Jay agreed to take him to one day. It wasn’t a long distance at all, but because it was located in Itaewon, there hadn’t ever been any reason for them to be in the area.
“How did you–?”
“Jay talks really loudly.”
Sunoo blinks, and Sunghoon only smiles down at him, eyes sparkling as he takes Sunoo’s hand and wordlessly leads them forward.
Sunoo had been lounging at the dorm when he got a text from Sunghoon, who was on his back from the company, telling him to be ready in an hour. He hadn’t bothered to question it, just asked what type of occasion it was.
Sunghoon had told him to pick an outfit from the ones they had bought together, then sent a selca of him wearing one of his own, accompanied by a ‘:)).’
Sunoo had stared at the little text emoticon and had been tempted to call him cute, but then he took another look at the selca and realized, for what must be the thousandth time in his life, that Park Sunghoon is very, very handsome.
It was a simple outfit, but it had been one of Sunoo’s favorites when he laid it out for Sunghoon to try on at the boutique, simply because he had known exactly how well it would suit the older; it was well within his comfort zone, a tight-fitting tee under a black blazer with dress pants.
He had ended up putting a sweater over a button-up, dark jeans hugging his legs tightly. As he had gotten changed, he imagined what he would look like standing next to Sunghoon and reminded himself to take a photo with him.
That was the last thing on his mind now, though, as Sunghoon lead him in, speaking with the receptionist before taking Sunoo straight to a private room.
Sunoo could already tell Sunghoon was set on pampering him, the latter always managing to take care of him in unspoken ways; it definitely wasn’t a PR stunt, since he had sprung for a closed off part of the restaurant. Realistically, people would find out they were in the area soon enough, but dinner would be for them alone.
He knows already that him paying for even half the meal would be out of the question, too, and accepts the menu handed to him somewhat begrudgingly. In the end, Sunghoon ends up choosing for him, Sunoo too overwhelmed to make a decision.
“Why are you so surprised by everything?” Sunghoon laughs, not unkindly.
“You caught me off guard,” Sunoo says accusingly, crossing his arms.
Sunoo had a vague idea of the area they were in when they started driving, but when Sunghoon hopped out of the car and bowed like a clumsy prinse to escort him out, he had snorted and slapped his hand into his waiting palm, striding past him onto the sidewalk.
He had assumed they would just be walking around when Sunghoon pulled him down the street for several blocks, so needless to say, he wasn’t able to do much but stare when they ended up in front of a michelin star restaurant.
“You’ve been working really hard lately. I wanted to surprise you,” Sunghoon says softly.
Sunoo reaches across the table to grab his hand, squeezing his fingers in silent thanks.
A waiter enters and sets their bottle of wine down between them, bowing as he exits, there and back in seconds.
Sunghoon looks at him with wide eyes, mouth falling open in a small ‘o.’ “How’d you know he was coming in?”
Sunoo’s face is carefully impassive as he shakes his head. “I didn’t.”
“Oh.”
Sunghoon’s fingers tense under his and then they squeeze back, clenched around Sunoo like he’s afraid he’s going to pull away. Sunoo doesn’t think he even realizes he’s doing it.
Sunghoon looks impossibly soft, the contrast of his delicate features and the sharp lines of his face lit up by the candle flickering on the table. Up ahead, the exquisite chandelier does little to provide much more light to the room, there for decoration more than anything else.
There’s something like apprehension in Sunghoon’s eyes as he stares at Sunoo, chest tight. Sunoo doesn’t think he’s breathing, but then he realizes he’s not either.
Life comes flooding back to his body as he inhales at the same time Sunghoon’s thumb strokes over the back of his hand gently, and he breathes in harsher than he intends to.
Sunghoon doesn’t pay much mind, only repeating the motion as a small smile grows on his face. It’s been a minute since either of them have actually said anything, but Sunoo isn’t all that inclined to break the silence. It weighs down heavy between them, but rather than a pressing warning for him to say something or do something, it encompasses them comfortably like a blanket. It’s only fair, he figures; Sunghoon is right, they’ve both been doing a lot lately.
It’s not a chore, far from it. The management has been surprisingly lax about what or how they choose to carry out their agreement, but Sunoo supposes it’s because one wrong move could lead to a potential lawsuit (jokingly. ish.). He’s actually been having more fun as they go on, and he really has Sunghoon to thank for that.
As much as the members (and himself, even if not as directly) teased Sunghoon for his awkwardness, he really had come through. He always had ideas to spare, and even if he didn’t always tell Sunoo before enacting them, they always enjoyed themselves nonetheless.
Sunoo’s plans more or less always revolved around doing his best to push Sunghoon’s limits, see how much the older would be willing to do for him before he cracked, but he never did. However much Sunoo demanded, he delivered.
Like the time he asked the older to make a convenience store run with him in nothing but their pajamas, the two of them literally walking down the street in their sweats and house sippers, and he complied without question. They ended up running into several fans, and before Sunoo could deny their requests for photos, Sunghoon was using his ridiculously long arm to hold up their phones and using his other to pose with a peace sign.
Sunoo wanted to die of embarrassment, since he was bare-faced and his hair was still tied up in a little sprout from doing his skincare, but then Sunghoon was instructing the fans to not post them, and only share them amongst their friends if they had to, smiling when they nodded fervently. (They were already trending by the time they got back to the dorm. Sunghoon only laughed.)
Sunoo also vividly recalls, for whatever reason, when they had an off-day, and Jay of all people suggested going to an escape room.
Since he was the only one with hands that weren’t shaking a humorous amount, Sunoo was tasked with recording when they thought they were nearly out of the room. The last five minutes of his video were almost entirely him laughing raucously as Sunghoon clung to his side and shrieked at the top of his lungs, each frame blurred and out of focus.
When they all rewatched it together in the living room later, laughing themselves silly, Sunghoon had groaned and gotten up from the couch, pretending to stalk off in anger. But when it was just him and Sunoo lounging on the latter’s bed together, Sunghoon’s head laying half on the pillow and half on his shoulder, he took one look at the hopeful look on Sunoo’s face and immediately agreed to letting him post it on Weverse.
Sunoo thinks he’s far too generous for his own good. At this rate, Sunoo could very well destroy his reputation and he wouldn’t even blink.
And then something occurs to him, breaking his train of thought (thankfully).
“Hyung.”
Sunghoon startles, like he forgot they could talk.
Sunoo takes a second to internally laugh at how adorable he is, perking up like a puppy. Then he gathers himself, grabbing the bottle of wine and pouring them each a glass.
“I just realized. You know we’ve been at this for three months, right?”
Sunghoon blinks, staring at the wall behind Sunoo as he does the math. Then he tilts his head to the side (an absolute puppy, him.) and smiles toothily.
“I guess we have, yeah.”
Their music show appearances and fan signs had ended long ago, but videos they had recorded during their promotion period had finished releasing more recently. It’s been easy to feel caught up in the moment, doing their regular work on top of this… much stranger work, but time really has flown them by.
Sunghoon raises his glass, gentle brown eyes reflecting the flickering candlelight. “To three months, then.”
Sunoo raises his own, tilting it forward until they meet with a harmonious chime.
“Three months.”
Sunghoon hopes it doesn’t show too much on his face when a stupidly whipped part of his brain adds on, to many more.
But to be honest, he’s made peace with how incredibly gone he is. And three months in to selling his soul to the corporate devil, he cares much less about whether Sunoo knows he’s been hiding the fact that he’s madly in love with him. He can just blame it on his NDA.
The dinner is absolutely delicious, and Sunoo absolutely stuffs himself full. The volume of food in his stomach still isn’t exactly enough to counteract the amount of wine he consumes (he’s an adult now, responsibility be damned), and unlike Sunghoon, who limits himself to half a glass, he’s breaching borderline tipsy by the end of dinner.
He places blame on this fact, when he somehow manages to set his glass down wonkily, and its contents splash down onto his new sweater.
Sunghoon reacts quickly, grabbing both their napkins to blot him down, so thankfully it doesn’t set in to his dress shirt, but he’s still left with a massive stain down his front.
“That’s no good,” Sunoo frowns, shedding his outermost layer and draping it over his chair. Sunghoon hums sympathetically, but Sunoo waves it off, shrugging. “It’s fine. Just glad I didn’t shatter it, I’d like to be welcomed back here.”
“You enjoyed?”
“Probably too much. I feel like I can burst.”
Sunghoon smiles, though he does his best to bite it back so as to not be too proud. (Sunoo notices and he finds it hopelessly endearing– it’s becoming a recurring trend.)
“Well, we can walk around so you can digest. I already texted Jaesuk hyung, he says he’ll wait in the area.”
Sunoo voices his agreement and then waits for Sunghoon to pay, protesting even though he knew it was a lost cause already.
When they step outside afterward, it’s much colder than when they had first arrived, and Sunoo fails to repress the shiver that racks through his body.
And despite how the entire evening has gone already, he somehow doesn’t manage to mentally prepare himself before Park Sunghoon takes it upon himself to act like a lead in a drama yet again, shedding his blazer and draping it over his shoulders.
“Hyung, no, you’ll be cold.”
Sunoo attempts to shove it off, but there’s likely only one person on this earth more stubborn than himself, and it’s Sunghoon, so after two minutes of both of them publicly warring on the sidewalk over who gets the jacket, Sunoo ends up sliding his arms through the sleeves while Sunghoon folds his stained sweater over his own forearm with a smug expression.
“Try to look less happy,” Sunoo scowls, even as he grabs the lapels of the blazer and wrapping it tighter around his body.
Sunghoon only guffaws, his strange laugh that consists only of sharp, wheezing inhales, and that would sound absolutely grating to Sunoo coming from anyone else.
“Where do you wanna go? The world is our oyster,” Sunghoon says, the two of them beginning to walk in tandem down the street. “I know there’s a frozen yogurt place if you want dessert.”
Sunoo’s arm finds its way into the crook of Sunghoon’s elbow, leaning closer into his body for a little more warmth. “I’m find just walking around. Sky’s pretty out right now.”
Sunghoon nods, and they continue walking slowly, nowhere else to be.
The previous week, both of them had been in and out of the studio, recording demos and getting their voice lessons. Then Sunoo, Jake and Heeseung had taken up an offer to sit in on a producing session to see if they wanted to begin learning, and Sunghoon and Jungwon had busied themselves with a few of the TXT members, observing their lyric writing process. Jay and Niki had begun work on a new choreo, so needless to say even the members hadn’t seen all too much of each other lately.
It’s why Sunghoon feels absolutely no shame in admitting, “I’ve missed you.”
Sunoo looks up at him with wide eyes, edged with delight. “Yeah?”
“Mm.”
Sunoo giggles in satisfaction, then turns back in his direction, eyes narrowed. “Just me, right?”
Sunghoon snorts, head falling forward as he laughs. “Sure,” he acquiesces. “Just you.”
The shorter joins him in his laughter, feeling warm in spite of the cold still biting at his hands and face. “Good.”
They roam around a little longer, no words exchanged. Sunoo remains clinging onto Sunghoon’s side, and the older doesn’t question why he is when there are only a few people around, and based on the few looks of disapproval scattered in between, it’s fair to assume they’re far from fans.
That’s one aspect of their arrangement that had made Sunghoon halt. One of the only factors that made him doubt whether he was doing the right thing, whether he was truly helping Sunoo.
Rumors were rumors, and more often than not, they were with people that all of the members had only interacted with a few times in public, and probably only a few times more in private. There were of course those with other idols that they were quite close with behind the scenes, but those were easier for fans of both groups to defend, arguing (in their favor) online that no one should be crossing those boundaries and making friendships uncomfortable.
It’s harder, and needless to say, that much risker, when it’s with a member of the same group. There’s been an obvious departure from how Sunoo and Sunghoon normally interact with each other, and it’s no longer defendable as them ‘growing closer,’ though naturally there are people who try.
In their meetings with the PR team, Sunghoon and Sunoo have witnessed firsthand the growth of naysayers, and the even larger, exponential increase in fans who are entirely convinced Sunghoon and Sunoo are nearing marriage.
Sunghoon’s gotten better at schooling his face whenever they pull up viral tweets of specific moments that have been especially convincing in order to come up with some sort of ‘formula’ for what the two of them should continue doing.
They’ve basically been solid though, considering their trip to Namsan tower had pretty much sealed the deal. No one had recorded the miniscule kiss Sunoo had dropped onto Sunghoon’s shoulder, but enough witnesses had insisted that it happened, and there were enough people eager enough to believe it, that it had caused a frenzy for nearly a month following.
Throughout it all, Sunghoon hasn’t once seen Sunoo waver, and that’s really what’s kept him going. Above himself, above the company, and above their fans, he’d follow Sunoo blindly into the dark.
Since I-LAND, he’s practically been devoted to the belief that Sunoo could do no wrong.
And it’s only reaffirmed when he looks down at Sunoo, who’s excitedly pointing out a cosmetics shop across the street and talking about how he can see their ambassador company’s products in the window display. His feet are bouncing up and down in happy little hops, his cheeks are bunched up with joy, and every little hop brings him closer to Sunghoon’s side.
He thinks he can live the rest of his life watching such tiny details bring such immense joy to him, and again, Sunghoon knows he has nothing to worry about.
He wants so many more months.
Jake laughs as his legs give out and he collapses to the floor, spread out on his back like a starfish.
Sunghoon joins him after exactly one more pull-up, releasing the bar and falling straight down. He takes in heaving breathes, sweat matting his hair down to his forehead.
A figure towers over both of them, prodding their sides with a prodding kick. Jake groans and Taehyun laughs, not looking at all affected.
“Stand up. One more set and then we’ll go, but I’ll let you choose between deadlifts or benchpress.”
“God, are you sure you aren’t a PT?” Sunghoon grumbles, getting to his feet either way.
Jake follows shortly after, dragging his feet toward the benchpress. “If I’m doing this, I’m doing it laying down.”
Taehyun stares at Sunghoon expectantly for him to follow, and he’s stalking toward the bench inch by inch when someone peeks their head around the corner, saving him from an untimely death.
Sunghoon spots Sunoo in seconds, rushing toward him and kneeling by his feet, hugging his legs. “Please tell me you’re here to drag me away from this hell, Kim Sunoo, I’ll be forever indebted if you do me this one great service. I’ll do your laundry or wash your feet, and cook you food and then clean the kitchen when I fuck it up trying to make food, just take me away–”
“First, you’re sweaty,” Sunoo says, his upper lip curling in displeasure. “Second, yes, I actually am here for you, and third, at one point you know we have to revisit that feet thing, right?”
Sunghoon grins, too relieved to care. “Whatever you want, babe.”
He hops up and shakes his head like a dog, snickering cheekily when Sunoo whines, holding his hands up in front of his face. He turns on his heel and walks out first, not looking back even when Sunghoon shouts and apology and does his best to chase after him, despite his legs screaming bloody murder from his time on the treadmill.
“What is this about?” Sunghoon asks once he’s tidied himself up, Sunoo having waited for him to shower and get changed. He has a towel around his neck to prevent his still wet hair from dripping down to the neck of his tank top.
Sunoo is staring straight ahead resolutely, refusing to turn his head in his direction. It had been hard enough for him to process having to go to the gym to collect Sunghoon, let alone deal with his wet hair and bare arms.
Lord save him.
“I don’t know,” he finally responds. “Briefing. Just the two of us.”
Sunoo had been off the entire day.
Sunghoon had been doing his best to keep his spirits up enough for the both of them, but after a little while, it felt pointless to keep trying. Keeping face wasn’t his main motivation, though. Selfishly, he still wanted to savor the last of their time together.
Since finding out they wouldn’t have to keep their relationship up anymore, things hadn’t been awkward, but they hadn’t been the same. It was natural, since they couldn’t go back to the way things were before. And they didn’t have a ‘normal’ anymore, after being in the habit of clinging onto each other and whispering sweet-nothings into each others ears for show. Sunghoon didn’t know how it was for Sunoo, but for him?
Going back to normal sounded like a nightmare. Normal was just another word for mundane. Dishonesty, longing. At this point, Sunghoon readily accepts Jay’s label. He’s truly reduced himself to a hopeless gay.
Either way, even if he can’t spend their last week having fun together, he still doesn’t want to spend their last days doing anything that would make Sunoo uncomfortable, so he’s been keeping his distance, even at the dorm.
Maybe he had done something, or said something, and Sunoo was just trying to bide his time until their contract was officially over, but he was too relieved to hide it anymore.
Sunghoon’s too much of a coward to ask, and he’d rather remember their time together fondly.
Just thinking about it makes him smile, and he wants to keep it that way.
So, with two days left until they’re no longer legally binded together, Jungwon has called all the members to gather in the living room.
Sunghoon had been gaming with Heeseung and Jay in the former’s room when he poked his head in, demanding they all get out after being holed up all day. When the three of them dragged their feet to the living room, Sunoo and Niki were already sitting there, heads together in deep conversation.
Sunoo looked up when Sunghoon entered though, eyes glued to his face even as Sunghoon did his best to ignore the ugly feeling that flared up in the pit of his stomach seeing Niki practically on his lap.
Jungwon told them to sit down, turning the TV on and tossing the remote to Heeseung for him to pick a movie. When the latter asked him what they were doing with a small smile on his face, Jungwon shrugged, settling down next to Jay.
“We haven’t just hung out all of us in a while. It’s been stressful, so I told the managers to push our recording back tomorrow morning. We’ll watch a movie, snack, sleep in. I want everyone to get some rest,” Jungwon had smiled back, head already dropping to rest on Jay’s shoulder. “You guys, sit.”
Sunghoon and Heeseung had yet to choose their seat, and as Jake came bounding out of the bathroom, shaking his head like a dog, he had the nerve to lecture the two of them for slowing all of them down. Heeseung scoffed, arms circling around Jake’s waist and dragging him down to collapse atop one of the free couch cushions as he poked and prodded at his ribcage, making him laugh and leaving two available seats. One between Heeseung and Sunoo, and one between Jake and Jay.
Throughout it all, Sunoo hadn’t stopped looking at Sunghoon, daring him to take the seat next to him. But next to Sunoo was Niki, who was looking at him with a very different expression. Unlike Sunoo’s ambiguous empty stare, Niki’s unforgiving features were sending a clear message: don’t fuck up.
It’s why Sunghoon had rubbed his hands on his sweats and sat down next to Jake and Jay.
He didn’t look back to see if Sunoo was disappointed, even if the sigh that rang through the quiet of the room was enough for him to tell.
Jungwon pressed play, Sunghoon allowed Jake to rub his thigh sympathetically, and that had been that.
It brings Sunghoon to where he is now, trying his best to focus on whatever movie Heeseung had chosen (he hadn’t been paying attention when it started, and continued to not pay attention up until now). When Jake gets up in the middle of the movie to make ramen with Heeseung, the latter taps his shoulder.
“Hey. Sunoo fell asleep on my shoulder, can you take my place? I’ll only be a while, but I don’t want to wake him up. He hasn’t been sleeping well.”
That’s news to Sunghoon, but he masks his concern and takes a quick peek over at Niki, who’s also dozed off.
He keeps his face carefully impassive as he nods. “Okay.”
Heeseung flashes him a quick smile, one that probably reads more grateful than necessary for a simple favor. Because he understands. They all understand. Then he stands and he’s gone, depositing Sunoo onto Sunghoon’s shoulder.
The younger squirms at first, then makes a small noise of contentment and basically purs as he snuggles into his neck. He smells like peaches. And home.
But Sunghoon has missed him so much, so he allows Sunoo to remain asleep on his shoulder, and pretends not to feel his eyelashes fluttering against his skin when he blinks awake five minutes later as Heeseung and Jake return with ramen.
He does his best to not look down at him as the two of them stand awkwardly in front of the couch, unsure of what to do.
Then Jake speaks first, amusement pulling the corners of his lips into a small smirk. “Looks like he’s still sleeping?”
Sunghoon grimaces, Sunoo’s breath feeling like fire against his skin. He doesn’t dare move. And that was that.
That had been that, until the next morning.
Sunghoon had fallen asleep in Jay and Jake’s room after talking to both of them until past midnight.
Not even about Sunoo, but just about whatever came to their minds. Jungwon was right, it had been a while since they had been given the chance to breathe, and Sunghoon missed this. He loved Sunoo, but it was undeniable that his feelings were a little… all consuming.
It was easy for him to leave anything and everything happening at the moment at the drop of a hat if Sunoo so much as looked in his direction. It’s nice to be reminded of how many great people he has in his life.
His happy morning bubble shatters when he wakes up last and goes into the kitchen to see five messy heads of hair.
He counts three times, but it comes up five again and again, and having just come from his room to change, and the bathroom to wash up, he knows Sunoo isn’t in either of those places.
Jungwon reads his confusion and answers his unspoken question. “Sunoo went to the company. Our producer needed someone to lay down the final guide track and since he woke up first, he volunteered.”
Sunghoon blinks. “Okay.”
Niki stares. Sunghoon takes a bite of his toast.
After practice, Sunoo disappears.
Sick of avoiding him and being given the cold shoulder (a cold shoulder would give him something to work with, actually. He’s being treated like a friendly stranger. Not too far, not close enough.), Sunghoon intends to go look for him straight away, but Niki holds him back.
Apprehensively, Sunghoon waits, hands shoved in his pockets. Niki keeps it short, though, never one to bore others with verbosity. He’s always had enough impact on his own.
“I know he doesn’t show it, but hyung is… he’s not hurting. But you know he’s been struggling. Have you seriously never thought about why that is?”
Sunghoon shifts uncomfortably, forehead still sticky with sweat.
“It’s not because of what fans are saying. We have to deal with that for the rest of our lives, and Sunoo hyung has thick skin. People don’t get under it unless he lets them. And he let you.”
Niki’s stern face terns gentle, optimistic, and he shoves Sunghoon’s shoulder, pushing him toward the door.
“So do something with it.”
“What are you doing up here?” It takes Sunghoon mere seconds to register how cold it is, and how underdressed Sunoo is. “It’s freezing.
He’s already taking off his own hoodie and draping it over his shoulders before the ginger even has a chance to get a word out in response.
Sunoo doesn’t try to protest anymore, silently sliding his arms into the sleeves with a tiny smile.
“Thank you.”
“Of course,” Sunghoon mumbles, eyes roaming his face. Sunoo continues to stare out at the city lit up in front of him, and after a minute the taller does the same, hesitating. “Is everything okay?”
Sunoo’s chest rises and falls with a heavy sigh and he brushes his bangs off his forehead only for a gust of wind to blow it right back to where it was. Cars rush by on the street miles below, and all Sunoo sees is people running.
Running away, running to something. But all of them have somewhere they want to be.
“Just feeling a little sentimental, I guess.” He side eyes Sunghoon, sensing his poor attempt at hiding his concern. “I mean, I know it started weird. And I guess it was rough at times, but I still had fun. And I’m glad it was with you.”
Sunghoon’s concern fades to pure fondness, nudging Sunoo’s shoulder with his own.
“Me, too.”
They’re blanketed by silence, just the two of them looking out at the whole world. Sunoo isn’t wearing makeup, and his hair has long since deflated from how he styled it earlier. Sunghoon’s jacket dwarfs him, and his skin is rosy and wind-bitten from god knows how long he had been standing up here before Sunghoon tracked him down.
It’s a mystery how he still manages to look like the most gorgeous person in the entire world, but also maybe the simplest question Sunghoon has had to come up with an answer to in a long time.
It’s because it’s Sunoo.
Sunoo, whose shoes shuffle against the ground as he rotates to look up at Sunghoon, suddenly radiating conviction that hadn’t been there moments ago. He’s about to ask what’s wrong (again), when Sunoo beats him to it.
“I heard you that night. With Jay hyung. And Jake hyung. And Heeseung hyung.”
Sunghoon knows instantly what he’s referring to, and his heart drops down to his stomach. His limbs begin to tremble, and it has nothing to do with the cold.
“Sunoo…”
“Everyone knew?” Sunoo’s voice cracks, words coming out in a hoarse whisper. He doesn’t even sound betrayed. Just disappointed. “You told everyone but me?”
There are tears in his eyes, and his bottom lip is trembling dangerously. Sunghoon tries to take a step closer, reaching out for him, but Sunoo holds a hand out, keeping him at bay.
“I was scared,” Sunghoon confesses. It’s the most honest thing he’s said in a long time. The only truth he hasn’t hidden behind a lie.
All that exists in Sunghoon right now, running through his mind at a thousand miles a minute, is how much he wants to hold Sunoo. He looks too vulnerable, too afraid. Sunghoon wants to protect him, be a sturdy shelter in the face of a raging storm. It doesn’t matter if his desires are unreturned, what feelings Sunoo does or does not share; Sunghoon can face the turbulence alone, until his skin has split from the harsh winds, or his eyes have frozen shut.
But it doesn’t occur to him until now that if he was alone in the eye of a hurricane, then Sunoo was too. Maybe he was safe, out of harms way, but he was lonely. Left in the dark. And Sunghoon would be too blind to see it.
Sunghoon has always been blind.
“Hyung.” Sunoo runs his hands over his face, which are swallowed up to the very tips of his fingers by Sunghoon’s hoodie. He rubs his temples before letting his arms drop down to his side, revealing a world of hurt in his eyes. “It’s over now. It’s over.”
Sunghoon’s chest feels hollow, the truth sounding ugly and dispassionate, not at all the bittersweet melancholy Sunoo was describing earlier. They both knew it was a lie anyway.
But Sunoo isn’t done yet, scoffing as he carves yet another dagger into Sunghoon’s heart.
“It’s over and you’re just accepting it without a fight.”
At once, a million questions flood through Sunghoon’s head, and his mouth falls open. Sunoo sees at once how lost he is, and his gaze fall to the floor as he shakes his head– with disbelief, anger, Sunghoon doesn’t know– and takes a step back. His words continue to ring in Sunghoon’s ears.
Did he want him to fight?
Sunghoon thinks there’s no way. Because for years he’s lived with Sunoo returning his feelings as the most distant possibility, tried for months at a time to convince himself to give up to no avail. He’s come to the conclusion over and over again that loving him in silence was worth every time he’s had to peel his eyes away because Sunoo was too beautiful for his own good, ethereal.
Sunghoon has racked his brain thousands of times to try to find a reason why he had to fall for someone far too good for him, and come up short just as much.
But then he remembers that Sunoo has known how he’s felt for weeks, months now, and he hasn’t pulled away. He hasn’t been repulsed by Sunghoon’s touch, or refused his gestures of kindness. He hasn’t demanded to replace him with another fake boyfriend.
If memory serves, Sunoo’s come closer. He’s been bolder with their public interactions, held eye contact longer, almost daring Sunghoon to be the first to look away.
Sunghoon wants to know why.
The question must be clear on his face, or Sunoo has always known exactly how to read him.
“I’ve always known you loved me, hyung. I never needed you or anyone else to tell me, I could feel it.”
Sunghoon feels like his skeleton might shatter from the sheer vibrational force of how fast his heart is beating, but he’s still greedy; he wants more. What does it mean to Sunoo?
Could Sunoo ever love him back?
“I could feel it whenever you’ve done shit like this in the past,” Sunoo grips the front of the hoodie harshly before letting it go, each of his knuckles clenching with desperation as he stares up, miserably, at Sunghoon, “without even pausing to think about it, like… like it’s what you were meant to do.”
Sunoo inhales sharply and pauses, like even thinking about it is upsetting. Sunghoon feels some of the anticipation that had built up so rapidly slipping away from him. If he had read everything wrong, and Sunoo was just… disgusted by his feelings, Sunghoon would never forgive himself.
Sunoo starts again, voice stronger now, emboldened by the confusion and stress and hurt he had dealt with alone for the last few months. “But I needed you to be sure. I needed you to trust yourself enough, and trust me enough, to just… be with me. Just be you, without all the doubt, and second-guessing. Without pulling away.”
Sunghoon is so stupid.
“But months of us dancing around each other, you showing me exactly what it would be like if you weren’t so afraid to love me out loud.”
Us?
“Being the kindest, and the most caring,” Sunoo takes a step forward with each blow, tears openly streaming down his face. “Being so loving to me.” Sunghoon physically shudders. “How could you be so cruel ?”
Sunghoon wants more than anything to wipe them away, to never see Sunoo in pain ever again. He never wants to be the reason behind his tears, each one feeling like a needle pricking at him from under his skin.
But Sunoo doesn’t let him have that reprieve, nearly taunting him with his willingness to be exposed, raw and sensitive like a live wire. Teasing Sunghoon with how easily he can gather the strength to do what he had over two years to, and still failed.
He stands now millimeters away, hands coming up to rest on Sunghoon’s chest, branding his body. Sunghoon is frozen in place, petrified by the traces of hope still left in Sunoo’s expression. How could he have missed it before?
Sunoo’s fingers curl into fists, eyes shining with an emotion Sunghoon still can’t bring himself to name as his arms dangle uselessly by his sides.
“Say something, hyung. Do something, say anything, for once. Please.”
He’s begging, pleading, and Sunghoon thinks it’s ironic. From the second he laid eyes on Sunoo, Sunghoon had signed away his life. He had known that from that moment on, anything and everything he did would be for Sunoo. He’s already agreed to give him anything he ever wanted, and now isn’t any different– it’s a simple law of nature, one all of them know: Sunghoon has never been able to refuse Sunoo.
He reaches up with trembling hands and grabs the one laid atop his heart, unraveling each finger. Sunghoon feels the tension leave each clenched muscle as Sunoo’s hand melts seamlessly into his own, latching onto him as if he was afraid he would let go.
Sunghoon knows better now to not make the same mistake again, interlacing their fingers tightly. Sunoo watches with wide eyes as he brings them up to his lips and presses a soft kiss, and another, to the back of his hand.
He only pulls away slightly to speak against his skin.
“Do you trust me, Sunoo?”
An incredulous huff of laughter slips past his lips, his eyes seemingly swimming with amazement that Sunghoon would even think to ask such a question. He turns away and shakes his head slightly, and when he looks back, there’s a passion burning in them that Sunghoon doesn’t think he would ever dare to try and tame.
“Hyung, I’ve wanted to be with you for a long time.”
“Not as long as me. So just give me a second to talk, okay?”
Sunghoon raises his eyebrows, waiting for Sunoo to give some sort of agreement before he continues. When he eventually nods, albeit hesitantly, Sunghoon takes both of his hands and pulls him over to a small corner of the roof that has a square of benches under a web of string lights. They sit on one of the squat wooden benches, legs awkwardly bunched up and knees bumping against each other with how low the seat is.
Sunghoon pays no mind, directing all his attention to Sunoo. Still gripping onto his hands tightly, he smiles. “I’ve loved you for a long time. You know that.” Sunoo gives him a look that screams, obviously. Sunghoon smiles and continues, even if he pauses to laugh at his blunt expression. “We’re different people, Sunoo. I’ve liked you since I met you, and I know it’s not the same for you. It’s not a bad thing,” he clarifies when he sees Sunoo shift uncomfortably. “I had such a massive crush on you and I could tell that getting involved with your competition in that way was the last thing on your mind. If it was you in my position, I know you would have been more willing to do something, especially if there was a chance we wouldn’t be able to see each other anymore after the show ended. But I was so scared of losing you up until that point that I couldn’t really confess or anything like that. And then we became a team, and it was even harder. I couldn’t jeopardize having a working team dynamic when we were so new to the game.”
“It’s been years since then, hyung,” Sunoo says, and though he’s trying his best to not look hurt, Sunghoon can tell he’s a little miffed at being kept in the dark for so long. Sunghoon doesn’t blame him, not really. The ball had been in his court for two years and he did little to shoot his shot. “Maybe you’re right and I hadn’t liked you straight away, but I’ve been trying. I didn’t know how to convince you it was okay to have feelings for me, especially when I realized it wasn’t just a fleeting crush. After a couple weeks of doing this whole dating scheme, it made me doubt our friendship,” Sunoo mumbles, looking down at his lap. “I didn’t like the idea of you being so willing to help me out in this situation even though you were putting your own emotions on the line. And you didn’t even tell me anything was wrong, and then I heard you spilling everything to the hyungs–”
“To be fair, I was really drunk. And to everyone else, I’m ridiculously obvious, Jay knew before I told anyone.”
Sunoo fixes him with an unimpressed gaze. “That’s not helping your case.”
“...Probably not.”
Sunghoon waves his hand in the air and attempts to get back on track. “But that’s not the point. The point is,” his voice softens, and he leans down slightly, craning his neck to make sure he’s in Sunoo’s line of sight. Sunoo redirects his eyes up from the ground to meet Sunghoon’s, waiting. “I’m crazy about you. And everyday since I’ve met you I’ve wanted to shout it from the rooftops.”
“Why didn’t you?” Sunoo scoots closer to him on the bench, honey brown eyes refusing to look away, blink for even a second. He’s no longer asking out of desperation for answers or clarity anymore, and Sunghoon knows there’s something different he’s angling at now. He hardly think he’s explained himself enough to warrant such a shift in demeanor, knowing that Sunoo was hurting because of him, but he accepts it, much too tired to hide. Too sick of pretending.
“I don’t know. I’m a coward. And because I normally don’t spend too much time on rooftops anyway,” Sunghoon laughs pathetically, voice barely above a whisper.
Sunoo just nods, recognizing the sincerity of a raw truth. With how good he is at reading Sunghoon, he must be refraining from commenting on the simplicity and barely ironic irony behind his words, because he knows it’s the best he can do. And for both of them, it’s enough to allow Sunghoon to gather enough courage to speak again.
“You’re just… everything, Sunoo. And I never even thought until today that it was possible for you to look my way.”
“Does it change anything?” Sunoo asks silently. “If you know that I’d accept you. That I already have. Would you be willing to give everyone else a chance to?” His voice rings in Sunghoon’s ears, urging him in the stillness of the night to bare his soul more than he already has.
The fact that Sunghoon is willing to answer though, is proof enough that he’s being honest when he replies. “Without a doubt,” he croaks, unable to stop the smile growing on his face when he sees the way Sunoo’s shoulders sag with relief, body releasing the tension it had been holding. Sunghoon grins, as if he was a liberated man. “Sunoo, I’d move mountains for you. I’d part seas if you asked it of me.”
The smile finally returns to Sunoo’s face, and he shakes his head, fondness written all over his face. “I don’t need any of that.” He looks down at his hands encompassed in Sunghoon’s larger ones, and he brings them from Sunghoon’s lap to his own, setting them down firmly. “Just this. I want you to hold my hand for as long as you can. Even if the whole world is watching you.”
Sunghoon nods resolutely, his chest nearly on the brink of bursting from love. “I can do that. I’ll do that for you whenever you want.”
Sunoo searches his eyes for what feels like minutes, dragging on for what feels like eternity even if it lasts for only seconds in reality. Sunghoon for once, emboldened by knowing for once, exactly what he needs to do, doesn’t back down. He accepts Sunoo’s scrutiny head on, taking no shame in the way he knows his absolute love for the younger burns through in his eyes.
And the longer he holds out, the more he can see the pride and happiness swell up in Sunoo’s chest, waiting just a second more before nodding.
“Then…”
“Then?” Sunghoon asks, tries not to demand, but truthfully, he just wants to close the barely existing remaining distance between them.
Sunoo all but snorts at his impatience, a hand falling onto his chest. Sunghoon looks down at the delicate fingers splayed across his shirt before they rise up to tilt his chin back up. Sunoo stares at him with stars in his eyes and Sunghoon curses himself for ever doubting the younger, for wasting so much time.
“Then I think we’ll probably need a new contract. You think you can wait until we can’t be held legally liable for any public displays of affection?” Sunoo teases, fingers still stroking softly against his jaw. His eyes flit across Sunghoon’s face, and when they return to meet his own, it seems like he already knows his answer.
Even if he didn’t, Sunghoon’s face-splitting grin is enough to fill in the gaps.
“No, I can’t.”
Then he’s pressing forward, one of his hands finding purchase on Sunoo’s waist as the other flies up to his cheek, thumb brushing over his skin gently as their lips meet. Sunoo responds immediately, the hand that was on his chin snaking around to run through the hairs at the base of Sunghoon’s neck. He breathes out through his nose when Sunghoon sucks his bottom lip into his mouth, kissing him with renewed vigor.
When he pulls away, Sunoo shakes his head incredulously and presses their foreheads together. His long eyelashes tickle Sunghoon’s cheek when he opens his eyes, stroking gently through his hair.
“If we get fired, that’s on you,” he mutters breathlessly, quiet laughter lacing his voice.
Sunghoon just squeezes his waist, feeling like after two decades of being alive, he’s only just now opened his eyes. Every inhale, every breath that’s passed through his lungs, and every step that he’s taken, each of them was to bring them to this moment, the paramount of his life. To Sunoo.
So even if Sunoo was joking, getting fired?
“It’d be worth it,” Sunghoon whispers, raising goosebumps on Sunoo’s arms. “It’d be so worth it.”
Sunoo pulls away, eyebrow arched. “Speak for yourself. I still need a disposable income.”
Sunghoon just laughs and pulls him into a hug.
They stay there for much longer.
Sunghoon and Sunoo are lounging in bed together, cuddled up and basking in the morning sunlight. As Sunghoon fights off sleep, Sunoo grabs his phone off the nightstand and opens Twitter.
It’s a little past ten when a post goes up on their official SNS, a photo of Sunoo and Sunghoon in front of their lock, followed by a photo of the lock itself.
There’s no caption, but none is needed.
Written on the lock: sunoo + sunghoon: remember us fondly
Their PR team has their work cut out for them for the rest of the day.