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There’s a wheezing sound.
A blue box is fading in and out of existence slowly until it suddenly soldiifies. Everyone’s attention is draw towards it, even his and it’s a disappointment when a woman with bleached blond hair walks out.
“Alright!” she calls, “I’m here. Who rang?”.
There is absolute silence following that question and she huffs, turning towards him and pointing, as though he is merely her equal, not her superior, as though he is a mere human and not a titan, not the emperor of the galaxy.
”Oi you, purple one. Do you mind telling me what’s going on here, mate?”
Thanos does not make a comical expression and point towards himself dazedly. No, he glowers and she shrinks away, in fear, finally having realised just who he is. She cowers before him, begging his forgiveness and for that he kills her slowly.
“Oh never mind!” the woman huffs again. “I’ll just figure it out myself.”
It angers him, though it shouldn’t because she is inconsequential, unimportant.
“Impudent human!” he calls, “How dare you disturb us? The Infinity Stones will be mine and I will rule!”.
The woman sends him an apologetic look, “Sorry not human.”. The Titan ignores her, continuing to speak. He cares not for her apologies, for her grovelling. She has enraged him now and nothing shall spare her.
”Even if you are not destroyed when I sacrifice half the life in the universe to Death, I shall ensure it! Have you anything to say for yourself?”
”Yeah,” she says, “are you done yet?”.
”What?”
”You just strike me as the type to interrupt so if you’re done it’s my turn now.” She takes his silence as agreement. It is furious silence - he is only quiet because he knows he shouldn’t let her get to him not because he is so bewildered he doesn’t know how to respond.
”Perfect. I just want to say this: if you want to do that, you’ll have to get past me first.”
Thanos laughs. Her stop him? Clearly he has a comedian on his hands, a bluffer. ”You are amusing ant. Perhaps I shall make your death quick.” If she continues this he’ll make sure it doesn’t hurt... much.
“Who are you again?” the woman asks.
”I am your death.” he responds. Thanos isn’t so sure he’ll make it quick anymore, not if she’s going to resort to questions like this to buy herself time.
”No, your name.” She seems serious. But she cannot be. Everyone knows his name, he is Thanos, Emperor of the universe.
”So you admit I am your death.” Progress. He still isn’t sure whether to make it quick or drawn out.
”Sure.” the woman says casually, too casually, “But who are you?”. She’s doing an excellent job of masking her fear and it’s turning from amusing to irritating. Long torture. He’ll draw it out.
”I am Thanos, ant -”
”Timelord.” she responds reflexively and Thanos might as well indulge her, she’ll be dead very soon.
”I am Thanos... Timelord?” It is not a question. It is a scoff, laughter at this ludicrous tale because there are no Timelords and good riddance. They’d been the ones to trap him in the first place. He doesn’t lean back a little, he doesn’t. She is not a threat.
”You’ve introduced yourself.” the woman smiles sharply, ”Now it’s my turn.”. Thanos does not flinch. He watches her boredly, impassively as she strives to entertain him to avoid her death. It won’t work.
“I am the Warrior, the Demon, the Lord of Death, the Masked Assasin, the Deathbringer, the Traveller From Beyond Time. Need I go on?”
Thanos narrows his eyes. It cannot be. Besides, he has never heard all of these titles being used for the same person. Their owner is dead. She cannot be them. He doesn’t respond. She ploughs on anyway.
”I am the Butcher of Skull Moon, the Great Scourge, the Destroyer of Skaro - ringing any bells?, the Predator of the Daleks.”
She smiles at his flinch, this ancient being, her eyes aflame and a trail of death and destruction in her wake. He sees it then, too much knowledge in that gaze, sees the hard-earned wisdom, the eternal soul. Thanos cannot look away - she doesn’t scare him, this pretender - but he blinks before he can stop it.
“I’ve killed many a Time Lord.” Thanos counters but she does not seem to hear him. If it is who he is thinking, it will not phase them. And it doesn’t.
“I am the Imp of the Pandorica, the Beast of Trenzalore, the Lonely God, the Last Child of Gallifrey. If you know who I am, you know why Thanos. You’ve killed many - I killed more, I killed them all. Scared yet? I am.”
Thanos should be able to ridicule her for her fear, for her openness, for her vulnerability but he cannot. It has to be them, it has to be the Doctor but this is not what Thanos was expecting, not at all. He cannot use her weaknesses against her because he too is afraid. He knows she killed her own people - she will not hesitate with him. Thanos should crush her but he is powerless now, for though she is admitting weakness it is on her own terms.
“I am the Destroyer of Worlds, the Oncoming Storm. I wouldn’t have made me ask for your name, you should have been asking about mine. Do you know who I am?”
“It cannot be.” Thanos says, ”It cannot be.”. He knows what those titles mean, denies it, even as he sees stars born and stars ended in her eyes.
”Run.” she says, “I’m warning you. Run before I tell you.”.
”If you are..., if you are them - then why do you stand there? Why are you not by my side? Oh bringer of death, join me!” She has wrought so much death, so much destruction. They would be glorious together, she’d be his consort. Their blades would run red and they’d serve death, side by side.
The woman laughs but there is no humour in her eyes as she considers the Titan before her. In her gaze he feels inadequate. He is the ant here, not her. In the Doctor’s eyes, Thanos is lesser.
”I have watched dynasties fall to ruins, I have burned a fair few. I killed my own people to save this universe you want to ruin. Do you know how many things I have done for this universe? I will not join you. I am the Great Healer and I am warning you for the last time.”
”If you will not join me,” Thanos rumbles, ”You will die!”. He forgets who she is in his anger, forgets all that she has been, is or could be.
”Run.” she says again, ”For I am the Doctor.”.
”Crush her!” Thanos orders, turning to his subordinates, only to frown as he realises they have long since left. Cowards. Deep inside, he wishes he’d done the same. He should have taken her at face value, shouldn’t have called her bluff. In his language, ‘Doctor’ means something long and solid. Like a sibling who breaks their promises but always comes back. Always, always comes back.
”I don’t like killing.” the Doctor says, ”But I’ll make an exception for you.”.
And she reaches out with her mind. Thanos tries to fight it but Timelords were the first telepathic species and he quickly succumbs.
He is not conscious for the journey but as he awakes, he hears her parting words.
”I’ll let the Time Vortex decide your fate.” she says to herself. ”Good luck, mad Titan.”
His eyes open involuntarily and he is looking into the heart of her TARDIS. It’s an indescribable feeling and just like her mind, it cannot be resisted.
”You should have run.”