Work Text:
Mini Skirts and High Tops
Buck was breathing easy. Just for the moment he could allow himself to feel something akin to freedom. The last few months, years really, had been challenging. He was better in many ways, no small thanks to Dr. Copeland. It hadn’t been easy for Buck to accept, but he had been finally able to sever his relationship with his toxic parents. Eddie getting shot and subsequently leaving the 118 had been crushing blows. For a while Buck just felt lost. He let himself drift to Taylor, kissing Lucy, and ultimately realizing he wasn’t fair to either woman or himself. And then, the phone call from Chris; scared, something was wrong. It appeared that Eddie had locked himself in his room, loud noises and the sounds of breaking furniture alarming Chris, compounded when Eddie seemed past thinking of or hearing the boy he loved more than anything else in the world. The fact that Eddie was so lost that he didn’t hear Chris’s desperate pleas to open the door frightened Buck more than he could express. He was over at the Diaz household in record time, comforting Chris, breaking down the door, and seeing the physical damage of the room. Eddie small, curled up in the chaos left behind by his fists, his rage, his pain. Somehow Buck found the right words, the right closeness. Later, when they patched the holes in the wall, they also patched the holes of their friendship. When Eddie returned to the 118, Buck felt whole again. Ending things with Taylor had been the right move, and Buck was ready to admit to himself what he had realized when Eddie had been shot. He was not in love with Taylor or Lucy. He was in love with Eddie.
However, as freeing as that realization was, it was also scary. It broke open a door in Buck that he had closed, sealed shut, and secured with numerous padlocks. Not even Maddie knew about Buck’s other side. A side he had been able to explore in his travels, but never had been comfortable enough to share at home. His parents' always conditional caring - the word love was not even in the running - made it never feel safe to explore any of his inclinations. Buck had known for a long time that he wasn’t exactly straight. It’s not that he didn’t love women, he did. But not exclusively. In addition to his sexuality, Buck also had denied himself other aspects of his being that made him happy. After Taylor had moved out, he had unearthed the long-hidden box from the recesses of his closet. A small tremor in his hands when he had lifted the lid, staring at his secret treasures, soft and lacy. Even when he had felt free enough to kiss another man, he never had shared this with anyone other than his mirror image. Buck loved the feel of silk panties, garters, male lingerie, tailored for his masculine body. He longed to express this side for a long time. He may not feel brave enough to share his feelings with Eddie, at least yet. But this could be a step he could take to bring him closer to embracing all of himself. Which is how he found himself currently in a boutique in Palm Springs. At first he had felt the familiar nerves, but the muscled store clerk in breathtaking bondage gear had been nothing but warm and helpful, offering help, before giving him the space he needed to explore the store in comfort. Other shoppers milled about, without batting an eyelash. Slowly Buck relaxed in the normalcy of it all. He could have this. He was not wrong for having this. Somehow embracing the wish to dress in sexy attire traditionally reserved for women was easier to start with than opening fully up to others about his queerness, or ultimately his feelings for his best friend. A small step for the emancipation of Evan Buckley, and a giant step toward the Buck he wanted to be.
Eddie couldn’t stop staring. The dance floor was packed, but his gaze was fixed on the tall fair-haired figure right in the center. The man was tall, built, dressed in a sexy see-through turquoise top, a see-through black mini-skirt, and a pink thong. He had yet to turn around, but just from the back Eddie could imagine it being Buck, the resemblance in built and hair color uncanny. However, there was no reality where Buck 3.0 or whatever version Buck was currently describing himself as, was dancing carefree in a gay club in the middle of a desert oasis, a roughly two-hour drive away from their homes in LA. Hell, it was the first time Eddie had allowed himself to come out (figuratively and literally). After stepping away from his fire family, Eddie had been forced to confront his past. Even though his military service comprised a large part of the trauma he was dealing with, other issues had resurfaced as well. He had loved Shannon, he had cared about Ana, but if he was truly, truly honest with himself, there was a reason why he had a panic attack with Ana. Why his marriage with Shannon had ended in divorce. It had not solely been his struggle with fatherhood. After several long sessions with Frank, Eddie could at least admit it to himself. He wasn’t straight, he wasn’t bi, he was, and always had been gay. Closeted, but undeniably gay. He knew coming out to his fire family would be met with acceptance. But there was Buck. Buck who just re-entered their lives, and whose presence he did not want to miss again. He knew that Buck would never make him feel uncomfortable, but it felt like too short a time after all they had gone through and patched up, to throw another major curveball into the mix. Especially since Eddie was also very aware that he had feelings for Buck beyond the “hey, you’re my best bud” kind. Eddie’s biological family would also be a challenge. He knew his parents were not going to understand, and possibly not just be unsupportive, but yet again fighting him for Christopher. He sighed wistfully, and ordered another drink. Fruity, with an umbrella to match, because this was his night to let loose. And perhaps because it was something Buck would enjoy, and he liked the feeling of sharing a drink with the blond, even if it was only in spirit, or in this case, spirits. He chuckled at his own dad joke, imagining Chris groan. Chris was currently enjoying a couple days with his abuela who had requested the time. Eddie was pretty sure she also wanted to give him some time to unwind, not unaware that he had gone through some personal struggles as of late. It had given him the freedom to seek a night out and test the waters as it were. He wasn’t looking for a hook-up. He had already kindly but firmly let a few fellas down who were clearly amenable to the idea. But this was for him. Just to be himself and not worry what anyone may think. That is, until the tall, sexy man he had been fantasizing about as Buck turned around. The world stopped as Eddie saw a familiar birthmark in the gorgeous face, accented by beautiful, subtle make-up. The curly hair dripping down his slightly sweaty forehead, a large smile on his face as he moved to the music. This was no make-believe double-ganger. This was the real thing. Buck, more gorgeous than he had ever seen him, bathed in lights and sparkling like a flipping twilight vampire. ‘He must like glitter spray’ was the last coherent thought entering into his brain before his mouth just dropped open to stare. Luckily Buck hadn’t noticed him yet, and after a moment to compose himself, Eddie’s thoughts were racing through his mind. Quick conclusions: evidently Buck was not as straight as he had always assumed (and he should have known better, after all he knew what assume makes out of you and me), secondly there was now actually a chance his feelings could be reciprocated, and lastly the universe was given him a sign right here, right now to make a move. After all, what was the likelihood of both of them ending up in the same bar on the same night, miles away from everyone? However, there were the usual worries: Eddie’s amazing talent to express his feelings through words (not!), Buck’s tendency to run away when cornered, and the ever present fear of messing up what they already had. Another big swallow of that fruity drink, and Eddie saw himself advancing through the crowd. Buck had turned away again, so he didn’t notice the moth being drawn to the flame until the moth was ready to get burned.
Buck felt a tap on his shoulder. Coming here had been the best decision he had made in a long time. He felt free, he felt happy, and he was living in the moment. He turned around and startled so badly he lost his rhythm and almost tripped over his own feet. If Eddie (Eddie?!) didn’t reach out, grabbing his arm and pulling him closer to steady him before he could fall, he would have hit the floor. It was definitely Eddie. He was wearing his usual tight jeans and a black henley. His face was crunched up, as it was sometimes when Eddie was with Chris and tried to talk about something important but had a hard time finding the words. Buck could kind of relate right now. Bodies twirled around them, but they might as well have been alone. They were so close, Buck could feel Eddie’s body heat. He said the first thing that popped into his mind. “Hi?”
The tension bled out of Eddie’s face and shoulders as he started to laugh. It was contagious, and Buck couldn’t help chuckling along, even as his confused brain was still not quite sure how to process it all. He belatedly realized his choice of outfit tonight, but Eddie seemed not put out in the slightest. In fact, this moment was it. All their worries and fears about one another and each other’s reactions bled away as they truly looked at one another. They said nothing, and yet everything seemed to pass between them that needed to be shared. Buck thought he was going to drop dead right here on the dance floor to the background sounds of “Nails, Hair, Hips, Heels” when he felt his best friend’s hand softly brushed a curl away from his sweaty forehead before leaning in, a wisp of a kiss on his lips. The older man then pulled back a little, a blush on his cheeks, his eyes searching Buck’s, his gaze full of nervous energy. Buck wasn’t going to leave Eddie hanging. If this was a dream, he never wanted to wake up. And if this was real, he wasn’t about to let this chance slip away. He leaned in, gently grabbing a hold of Eddie’s face and returning his best friend’s first move by kissing him back. Only this time it was not a chaste brush-by; within seconds the men lost themselves in the moment. Tongues exploring, moans spilling out, their surroundings forgotten. Neither had any idea how many songs had passed by, but clearly some time had passed as the crowd had thinned a little and they had somehow drifted to a quieter corner. They were so close, their mutual erections pressed against the other’s thigh. In Buck’s case, the thin material left very little to the imagination.
“You’re so beautiful,” Eddie whispered as he let his hands trace along the sheer fabric. Now it was Buck’s turn to blush vigorously. He was trying to hide his burning face in Eddie’s neck, but the dark-haired firefighter pulled his face up gently. “Don’t hide, mi amor. I…I can’t believe we’re both here. I was so worried about how to tell you. I’ve been having feelings for you, but it has taken me a long time to accept this about myself. Buck, please stop me before I make an ass of myself. I am ok with just being friends if that’s what you want but -”
Buck cut Eddie’s ramble off with another kiss, this one a declaration of his own feelings. He tried to put all his love and happiness into the moment. This time when they broke apart, they both had a few tears shimmering unshed in their eyes. “God, Eddie, if I had known all it took was mini skirts and high tops, I would have started dressing this way a lot sooner.”
Eddie couldn’t help but punch his best friend - morphing into boyfriend? - in his shoulder, laughing. Buck wiggled his eyebrows and whispered into Eddie’s ear, “I have a whole box of special outfits to show you if you’re interested. You will be the first person to ever see me wear them.”
Eddie swallowed, smiling sweetly as he felt heat rush through him. “Let’s go home.” They held hands as they left the club, and they talked on speakerphone throughout the entirety of their ride back, using the distance of their respective vehicles to learn about each other’s dreams and hopes for each other in this new step of their relationship without the immediate physical distraction. And when they reached Buck’s loft, the first of those dreams came true, this time definitely with physical distraction...