Chapter Text
--
Sunoo may be a little bit dramatic. Maybe, they are right, that he give too much importance to things that are too little and too insignificant to be noticed, to be cared about.
But that's how he is. He has a big heart for the little things. For the little moments. For the slight flickering of heart beat. For the little movement of butterflies in stomach. For the little spark.
Maybe Sunghoon is right. Maybe he's really crazy for claiming his love for him for that little interaction they had when they were still a kid.
Maybe. But who cares? If it's love then it's love.
Whether it's reciprocated or not.
~February 14, 2021~
"When will you ever learn?" Jungwon was exasperated as he eat the chocolates that Sunoo made for Sunghoon.
They are in the park near their university. It was Valentine's day. And just like every year. Sunoo made chocolates to give to Sunghoon and do his yearly love confession. And just like every year since Sunoo was 7 year old, Sunghoon rejected him.
Sunoo didn't answer. His silence made Jungwon raised his head afraid that Sunoo is crying again ... in which he was right. He's crying again.
"Hey... It's not like it's the first time Sunghoon hyung rejected you right?... so..ahm cheer up? "
Sunoo feel a lot worst after hearing Jungwon's worst attempt to comfort him.
But he's right. It wasn't the first time. It wasn't. It happened all the time. But it doesn't mean it hurts less every time.
Jungwon sighed. He cover the now empty self made heart shaped box that Sunoo also made along with the chocolates that he was supposed to give Sunghoon
Sunoo looked at the box and he cried more. He didn't sleep just to make them only to be rejected by Sunghoon again. He didn't even take his chocolate.
"Sunoo, why don't you just moved on? 10 years of unrequited love? Really?"
Sunoo only stomped his feet "You wouldn't understand Won"
Jungwon only rolled his eyes "understand What!? It's supposed to be a petty puppy love Sunoo! "
"but I love him Won" Sunoo's eyes focus on the ground. As if the little rock that his feet is toying is so interesting
Jungwon irritatingly stood up
"How many times does he have to reject you just for you to understand that he's not into you?"
Jungwon once again released a loud sigh. He squat down in Sunoo's level. "Sunoo...maybe... it's time for you to accept that Sunghoon might not, or will never be interested in you.. and that's okay. It happens. You just have to move on"
But Sunoo can't see himself giving up. 10 years of unrequited love made him this strong.
Maybe he was little young back then. But he knew what his thumping heart means.
And remembering how they met will always be magical in Sunoo's mind.
Sunghoon is his older brother Jay's bestfriend.
He first met him when he was 7 years older and Sunghoon is 10.
He still remember it clearly like it just happened yesterday.
It was raining really hard and he got stuck in their classroom, specifically under the teacher's table.
A loud thunder is being heard everywhere. Like the sky wanted everyone to hear him growl. And Sunoo was never a fan of thunder.
He was mentally praying for the sky to calm down and have mercy on him. Or if not, he was hoping his older brother to find him.
A loud thunder was heard again. It was loud he felt the vibration from the ground. It was so loud he couldn't help the little squeak sound that came out from his trembling lips.
Sunoo closed his eyes tight. Afraid for another blow of disturbing sound. He put his hands in his ears in attempt to cover his ears from hearing it.
But the thunder never came. Instead, he heard a foot step coming on his way. He slowly open his eyes and he was met with those black orbs staring worriedly at him. A boy.
Probably older than him. His hair is wet hanging low in his forehead. His nose is pointed and high. His skin so clear and white. His lips are red and thin. It was a boy. A very beautiful boy. Loud growl from the sky signalling for another set of thunder made him flinched and was about to cover his ears again when suddenly the boy's hands were already placed in both of his ears.
And it was that moment. The little moment. The tiniest change in Sunoo's heart beat happened. A fluttering feeling and little flickering of his heart beat followed by a scarlet pink decorating his chubby cheeks.
He knew the thunder is coming. But he's not scared anymore. All he cared about is the boy in front of him. Sitting across him. Hands in his ears. Black orbs directly looking at his brown wet orbs.
And it was that moment. The little moment. Kim Sunoo fell in love with Park Sunghoon.
--
2022 present time
Sunoo went home. He decided he will not ride his usual bus. He decided he wanted to walk home. Reminiscing what happened today.
It was again a very heart breaking day.
Sunghoon is dating again.
As soon as he heard that, Sunoo literally run from the fourth floor of their building to the fourth floor of the next building beside theirs.
"SUNGHOON HYUNG!"
There was even no time to catch his breath
Students in the hallway looked at him. Not surprised. Instead they are expecting him. They knew Sunoo is kinda obsessed with Sunghoon. Their whole school knew it.
"What again Sunoo?"
Sunghoon's expression looks so tired. Like he's fed up of him.
Jay, his brother whom he didn't notice, butt in "Yes, Sunoo, Sunghoon is dating Jang Wonyoung from Class 3, now go to your room your class is about to start"
Jay flicked his forehead and he step back. Touching his head he looked back "Shut up Jay hyung!"
"Sunghoon hyung! Why are you keep dating someone else? Please date me!"
Pride? Sunoo never had that if it's about Sunghoon. He doesn't care if there are people watching him. His brother used to care but later on give up and just let him do what he wants.
Sunghoon sighed, hands on the pockets of his pants, he looks so dreamy in Sunoo's eyes. Like he's not capable of hurting anyone. Well aside from Sunoo.
"Jay is right Sunoo, go to your class, and no I'm not gonna date you, if that's what you came here for, and yes I'm dating Wonyoung "
And the two left him. Jay even waved at him.
It wasn't his first rejection. But it doesn't hurt any less.
--
He first confessed when his brother Jay brought the beautiful boy in their home, he introduced him as his bestfriend. He found out they were classmates and that he transferred from America. He was 10 years old same with his brother.
In his young mind, he concluded that it was destiny so the following day, when Jay brought him again to their house, he told Sunghoon that he's going to marry him someday.
Sunghoon only laughed at him and called him cute. Jay throw him out of the room but it's okay. Sunghoon told him he's cute. That's the first step of marriage.
After that, he would always tell Sunghoon that they're going to marry someday which Sunghoon only laughed.
He often received a lecture from his brother telling him to stop crushing on Sunghoon because it's weird and that he's too young to know what love is.
But Sunghoon always smile at him and call him cute. And he told Jay that's it's okay. He would often accept his little gifts and would raffle his hair.
Sunghoon was fond of him
But it changed when Sunghoon entered middle school.
They were in their house and Jay was teasing Sunghoon about the girl he's dating. Sunghoon was 15 back then and Sunoo is 12. He remember screaming at Sunghoon back then. Reminding him that they're going to marry someday.
That's the time Sunghoon realized he was serious all this time.
Jay apologized to Sunghoon and Jay got mad at him.
But he never stop. Every year, he confesses to Sunghoon. In every chance he get. In every occasion. In every time he hear him dating someone else.
And Sunghoon without fail, rejected him everytime. In most painful way.
--
"Sunghoon hyung! Let's date"
"My god! Sunoo please spare this day, we're so tired!"
Sunoo rolled his eyes on his brother.
"Soooooo?"
Sunoo heard a slightly loud bang of their table. It was his brother. He just bang his head on the books that are placed on top of the table. He rolled his eyes again "dramatic"
"So what Sunoo?"
Sunghoon not even throwing him a single glanced.
"When are we gonna date, I swear I'm so fun to date with!"
Sunoo beaming at him
"Sunoo I told you Wonyoung and I are dating"
"You've been dating now for two weeks, it's almost time for a break up"
Sunghoon glared at him but Sunoo only smile. Sunghoon is looking at him, that's all that matters.
"We're not breaking up Sunoo, I'm serious with her"
And Sunoo look closely at Sunghoon. Looking for any sign of joke. But he found none.
"I'm serious with her, so stop this Sunoo. I'll never date you"
And when he say Sunghoon reject him in most painful way everytime, this is what he means. The straight ass rejection.
But he still smile, hiding his pain
"That's okay Sunghoon hyung, I'll try again tomorrow!"
And he left. He have to leave early, he's still have a broken heart to mend. All by himself.
--
"Aren't you getting tired Sunoo yah?"
It was a fine afternoon. Jay texted him that he'll treat him ice cream. He didn't ask him why. Because this is so rare he already notice the pattern.
It's everytime Sunoo received a straight rejection from his bestfriend, Sunghoon.
Maybe it's his way to cheer him up, or to compensate, because his best friend hurt his brother.
"Noooo, I'm fine hyung.. maybe he'll date me soon"
He beam as he enjoy his ice cream. At least that's how he hope Jay perceived him.
He heard him sigh "Hmm I think Sunghoon is serious this time Sunoo"
Sunoo looked at his hyung, he stop licking his ice cream, suddenly it taste blunt.
"How do you say so?"
Jay only looked at him sympathetically "I'm his best friend Sunoo, I know him"
--
There are only few times where Sunoo meddle with Sunghoon's relationship. Yes he maybe a little too much in expressing his love for Sunghoon, but when he's dating someone he never try to snoop around, or ruin his date or follow him. Normally he just let him. Tell him he loves him and asking him for a date is something he'd been well accustomed to. Like it was part of daily life so for him, it wasn't counted.
Going back, it doesn't often happen, he's the type of person who often turn a blind eye in reality. That why he's here. 11 years of unrequited love.
But if it's something related to Sunghoon, he sometimes can't do that. Like if something is about to hurt Sunghoon, he can't turn a blind on that. He swore to the rive of styx to never let anyone hurt Sunghoon. He swore to protect him.
Like right now. Like how he is in the mall right now, following Wonyoung like a stalker. She's wearing a beautiful floral dress, like a princess, she is in deed a beautiful lady, but, this is not what he came here for.
Wonyoung is in the mall with someone else. Not Sunghoon.
He should be happy. But he's not. Sunghoon said he's serious with Wonyoung. And if he's serious, even it hurts him, he have to protect Sunghoon from long term pain. And that is making sure Wonyoung is not cheating on him.
He follow them until they reached the fourth floor, he was hiding in a food stall. He saw Wonyoung and the guy he's not familiar with, holding hands. He's sure they are aren't just friends. Why would your friend hold your hand and kiss you? Right?
He message Sunghoon just to make sure
"Hyung are you and Wonyoung still together?"
He waited for him to reply. A few seconds passed and he received a message from him.
He grimaced
"It's Sunday Sunoo please stop pestering me. And yes we're still together. Didn't I tell you I'm serious?"
He sigh. Ignoring the bitter taste. Ignoring the pain in his heart.
He took a picture of the two together. Determine to show it to Sunghoon.
--
The following day, he waited for Sunghoon after class. He's waiting in the school gate. Making sure Sunghoon will not go home without Sunoo telling him what he saw. Ignoring the heavy rain. Ignoring the loud thunderstorm
Jungwon is telling him to just let go and don't meddle. But how could he not? He just witness his love's girlfriend cheating on him?
Later on, Jungwon gave up and just left him. He's still has a part time job so they couldn't wait together
It was raining pretty hard. Rain. Rain will always be nostalgic for Sunoo. It was raining when he first met Sunghoon so it will always be magical for him. He used to hate rain but eversince that day, he came to love the rain. Rain will always remind him of Sunghoon
He's fidgeting as he wait. Been over 40 minutes. His pants are wet. His umbrella is making a poor job in protecting him.
He sighed, He wonder if there's a typhoon coming.
He looked at the time again, 1 hour, Hoping Sunghoon's not with Wonyoung.
And like the heaven answered his prayer , Sunghoon appear.
He saw Sunghoon running to the gate.
"Sunghoon hyung!"
Sunghoon stop and looked at him. Irritation immediately plastered on his face.
"WHAT? I'M IN A HURRY!"
Sunoo almost back out. He's scared Sunghoon will be mad at Wonyoung and he might get his heart broken because of her, he said he's serious with her. He doesn't want to hurt Sunghoon
But he has to know. Someone has to tell him.
And it was him
"Sunghoon hyung wait... I just wanna tell you something"
Maybe it was a wrong timing. Heavy rain. Sunghoon in a hurry. Sunoo couldn't wait. Nothing fits. But he has to tell him now.
"SUNOO CAN YOU PLEASE STOP PESTERING ME? WONYOUNG HAS BEEN WAITING FOR ME STOP GETTING IN THE WAY!"
Sunoo felt his heart broke. From the harsh words. From the reality. From the mention of name. From being just a nuisance in Sunghoon's eyes.
So he made it quick. Without thinking, he blurted it out.
"She's cheating on you Hyung"
In a few seconds, a lot of emotions crossed Sunghoon's eyes. And Sunoo witness each of them.
"What the fuck Sunoo!"
He felt his face getting red. Students passing by could hear them. But he's already here anyway. He have to tell Sunghoon.
Sunoo took his phone from his already wet bag. He open the photo that he took. The one where Wonyoung is holding a guy's hand as the guy peck on her cheeks. It was a little blurry but he's sure anyone can recognize Wonyoung.
He hope so.
"Here see it yourself"
Sunoo showed him his phone. He didn't take it. Instead he look at the pictures while he's holding his own phone. His face turns red. Brows pulling together. " Wonyoung is cheating on you hyung, I know it's hard to believe but-
Sunoo was stunned when he felt a stinging pain from his hands followed by a loud sound of his phone falling on the wet ground.
He looked at his phone on the ground. His phone screen had cracks on it. It wasn't lit up too. He watched as the rain poured on his poor phone.
"can you stop? You think I'll believe you? Listen! not because you are Jay's little brother doesn't mean I'll tolerate you! Your obsession over me is getting out of hand now, and can you fucking get lost? I'm not interested in you! Not before. Not now. And not tomorrow! So stop! Stop making up stories! Stop pestering me!"
And sunoo watch him leave until he couldn't see him anymore. Must be the heavy rain. Or it could be from the tears that are now blocking his sight.