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Lan Zhan was indestructible. Untouchable. Powerful in a way that was so natural it needed not to be stated, as one could just look at him and be filled with sudden certainty that everything would be alright, because this man would handle it. Wei Wuxian thought Lan Zhan was definitely the most capable man he had ever met, and would ever meet.
So it was very easy to let himself sit this specific night-hunt out and have Lan Zhan go off with the kids, even though they’d originally planned to go together.
He’d been staying at the Cloud Recesses for long enough to have attended enough night-hunts to be fine for the rest of his days, surely. He’d seen his share. He would not be missing all that much, and the kids would be fine with Lan Zhan there to take care of them. The others had seemed to agree when he’d sent them off.
After rudely waking him up at three-thirty in the afternoon, Lan Zhan had only asked him whether he wanted to be brought some hangover cure from Caiyi town when he got back, and Wei Wuxian had denied having a hangover and then pulled the blanket over his head to stop the terrible brightness coming from the doorway where Lan Zhan stood.
So yes, he sat that one out. He had more important things to worry about, in any case, such as the limit he had recently found to his alcohol tolerance.
He started to only become regretful of this decision once he’d slept off the pounding headache and realized he had very little else to do without Lan Zhan or the juniors around to tease. He’d grown so used to the pleasant everyday rhythm of the Cloud Recesses that it was a bit disconcerting without the usual people present.
He attempted to clean up the quarters assigned to him when he got too bored of harassing the Lans doing their tasks in the library, and then when that proved tedious as well, he went to harass the Lans doing guard shift at the main entrance.
Blessedly, Lan Zhan and the kids came back within a day. Unfortunately, it was obvious something was wrong when he saw their faces. The juniors had a quiet, upset look to them, mouths in straight lines and heads hanging low.
Even Lan Zhan looked a bit stonier, eyes having a certain distance in them that spoke of at least partly unsuccessful hunt. After doing the fastest head count he could, Wei Wuxian ran to them, relieved for having gotten back the exact same amount of Lans he had sent off.
“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan greeted when he came to a halt before him.
“Lan Zhan,” he replied. “Sizhui, Jingyi. Did something go wrong?”
The kids looked at each other, and the ones behind them dropped their gazes down.
Sizhui spoke, “The man at the village...we were too slow. We couldn’t help him.”
“We broke the curse, but he just…” Jingyi continued. “He realized what he’d done, and started screaming, and it was…”
Ah. How upsetting, indeed. Wei Wuxian had read the letter sent to them as well, from a town a little way from Gusu, of a man acting strange recently. He’d apparently always had a bit of a temper, but lately, he’d been even more prone to losing his patience. His irritable mood had grown and grown, until one day he’d lost his mind completely and beaten his family to death with a sudden bout of vicious anger.
The man had been detained, and only after that had they noticed the black curse mark on his leg.
Wei Wuxian glanced at Lan Zhan, whose eyes spelled what Wei Wuxian suspected. After coming out of such a haze, having done an irreparable deed, how would anyone react? The guilt of it must have been harrowing.
“We couldn’t stop him,” Sizhui said. “We weren’t fast enough.”
There was a moment of silence, heavy and still.
“You’ve had a rough day.” Wei Wuxian placed his hands on Jingyi’s and Sizhui’s shoulders and gave them a squeeze. “Let’s go have something to eat, yeah? You must be starving.”
-
Later, when he’d made sure that the kids were fed and seemed to be in slightly better spirits after an hour of Wei Wuxian fussing and teasing, he went back to the Jingshi with Lan Zhan. He’d familiarized himself with his private quarters already, having shamelessly invited himself in a couple of times. Lan Zhan had never seemed to mind.
He sat the man at the table, pressing him down by his shoulders, and Lan Zhan went willingly even though his strength far surpassed Wei Wuxian’s. He felt Lan Zhan’s gaze following him as he prepared them some tea.
There was something troubled in his eyes, ever so often looking almost like he was zoning out. Very unlike the usual focus of Hanguang-jun.
In the end, as they were both seated at the table, Wei Wuxian having taken extra care in pouring Lan Zhan’s tea very nicely, Lan Zhan finally said: “There is no need.”
Wei Wuxian huffed. “’No need’? What are you saying, ‘no need’? Lan Zhan, can’t a man spend a moment drinking tea with his friend after a long day?”
He placed the pot on the table, then picked up his own cup, lifting it while giving Lan Zhan a look. “Hm? Drink up, Hanguang-jun!”
The other answered his look with one Wei Wuxian could not fully read. It was perhaps a bit fond. Lan Zhan took a sip of his tea, then gave Wei Wuxian another meaningful look, which he translated into I am fine.
“See? Isn’t it relaxing to drink tea someone else has poured for you? Doesn’t it taste a little bit better than something you’ve poured yourself?” Wei Wuxian tasted his own, and it was mild and flowery, the way Lan Zhan liked it. He was somewhat pleased with himself.
“It is,” Lan Zhan said. “Thank you.”
“Oh, you stop that, it’s even worse than ‘no need’! Aiyah, Lan Zhan, really!”
He got a huff for an answer, which he counted as another win. Wei Wuxian sipped a bit more of the tea before asking, “Was the curse easy to break? Sizhui said you did it when one of the other kids failed.”
Lan Zhan’s hand stilled, a shadow of a frown passing his face. “It was too complex for the juniors.”
“Ah, yes, the kid said there was a rebound burst of energy,” Wei Wuxian mused. “Were you hurt?”
“No,” Lan Zhan said, and Wei Wuxian felt something ease inside of him. He hadn’t been truly worried, but a part of him still liked hearing it.
He hadn’t been there, after all.
In an attempt to lighten the mood further, Wei Wuxian flashed a smile. “Lan Zhan, this is clearly a sign!”
The man raised an eyebrow at him.
“Sign that you should never again do a night-hunt without me,” Wei Wuxian declared. “Clearly we are incapable of functioning without each other! Do you know how hard it was for me to get breakfast here without your help? Hanguang-jun should never leave me alone like this!”
The uneasy look that had been coloring Lan Zhan’s face softened, his amusement over the theatrics evident. It felt good for being able to relax him, even a little.
“In that case,” Lan Zhan said, “Wei Ying should stop sleeping in.”
“Ah, if you knew the devastating headache I’ve been suffering the whole day, you wouldn’t be making fun of me like this,” he said, throwing a hand over his forehead. “I was almost too weak to move from the bed at all!”
Of course Wei Wuxian was just fine. His golden core, while not nearly as developed as the one he’d had before, was doing its job healing small aches like this.
Still, reminded by the show, Lan Zhan reached into his sleeve and pulled out a familiar bottle of a hangover cure. Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but feel warm about it, even though he let out an outraged noise.
“Lan Zhan! Didn’t I tell you not to bother?”
“Can a man not bring his friend a present after a long day?” Lan Zhan asked.
Wei Wuxian laughed. “Truly underhanded, using my words against me! Very well. I accept the gift. I have been suffering so much, after all.”
Lan Zhan sipped his tea, eyes soft. The tension of the night-hunt eased with every passing moment, and Wei Wuxian could feel nothing but relieved.
-
At first, it felt like things returned back to their usual rhythm. The kids seemed to get over the shock of an unfortunate twist in the night-hunt, and soon none of them seemed too troubled over it.
Lan Zhan, however, was another matter altogether.
It wasn’t anything obvious. Hanguang-jun was, on a good day, already pretty tough to read. For anyone who wasn’t Wei Wuxian or part of his immediate family, practically impossible. But these days Wei Wuxian noted more and more curious silent moments, where Lan Zhan’s eyes seemed to grow distant.
Once, when Wei Wuxian got caught teaching the juniors a spell to make sneaking around easier, Lan Qiren shouted at him. Wei Wuxian happened to glance in Lan Zhan’s way, and what normally would’ve been mild exasperation on his face now seemed to be something darker, more muddled.
Another time such a thing happened when they went out to Caiyi town, and Lan Zhan saw one of the posters of the Yiling Patriarch. Lately, those had been quite a rare sight, especially in this part of Gusu, where Wei Wuxian’s presence was known. The terrible pictures drawn of him had been a wound to his pride at first, but nowadays Wei Wuxian could not help but feel only a bit amused by them.
Lan Zhan did not appear amused. His jaw had been squared, eyes barely hiding the contempt. With a burst of spiritual energy, the poster was destroyed.
It was noticeable enough to be disconcerting. Wei Wuxian caught him sometimes, staring off into the distance with a certain lack of an expression on his face, the graceful lines of his face seeming sharper.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian said one day, not long after the strange behavior had started. “Aren’t we very good friends?”
“Mn,” Lan Zhan replied easily.
“Well, as your closest friend and confidant, I do have strong shoulders you can use to lean on.” Wei Wuxian smiled playfully, trying to keep the tone light while delivering a message he knew would be taken seriously. “If you wanted to share any troubles, I would listen.”
He was granted another one of Lan Zhan’s soft looks. “Mn.”
But as he’d suspected, Lan Zhan did not take the opportunity to discuss his troubles. It was not like him, after all. It would have been more worrisome if Lan Zhan had indeed opened up at a request. Wei Wuxian knew this was a man of action rather than speech, and whatever was on his mind would no doubt become evident at some point.
Still, Wei Wuxian was not one to patiently wait for things to pass. He brought up another thought only a day later.
“Say, Lan Zhan, what do you think about a little trip outside the Cloud Recesses?” he asked. “Just you and me! Traveling somewhere, night-hunting, taking a little vacation.”
Lan Zhan’s fingers stilled on his guqin as he turn to look at Wei Wuxian.
“You would really be doing me a favor here – and to your uncle! He still hasn’t forgiven me for the thing with the kids and the spell,” he said, recalling the dark look on Lan Zhan’s face at the fight.
The man raised his hand at Wei Wuxian when he took a breath to continue making his case – the list of good reasons to go had at least forty-three points – and said, “It is a good idea.”
“O-oh? Oh! Isn’t it? Honestly, when was the last time we left the recesses, anyway? It’s been too long!” Wei Wuxian’s face split on a smile, surprised by the easy win.
“Mn,” Lan Zhan said. Then, after a moment of silence, “There is a cabin our family owns.”
Wei Wuxian slapped his hands together. “We have our destination! Lan Zhan, we better start packing!”
A hint of a smile curled on the corner of Lan Zhan’s mouth. “Mn.”
-
The travel to the cabin took a few days, yet the strange mood seemed to mellow quite a bit once they were outside the borders of Gusu. Traveling together had always been something Wei Wuxian found enjoyable, so added to the fact that Lan Zhan’s tenseness had somewhat loosened, Wei Wuxian could feel nothing but pleased.
The cabin they were headed to was quite a distance away from the Cloud Recesses, up on a mountain. The Lan sect seemed to prefer building houses only in places at the same level as clouds. It fit the aesthetic, certainly. Down the mountain, at a reasonable height, was a village, where Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji would stay the night before starting the climb up. Which, according to Lan Zhan, lasted at least an hour by sword, and much more by walking.
Wei Wuxian was happy he hadn’t insisted on taking Lil Apple with them. Flying was way more convenient.
“Haha, don’t get me wrong, Lan Zhan, I’ve liked staying with you in the Cloud Recesses,” Wei Wuxian said, once they’d reached the inn and were safely seated at a table full of various spicy dishes, courtesy of Lan Zhan’s absolutely massive wallet. “But the lack of spices really does kill a man’s spirit.”
Lan Zhan gave him a look, eyes a bit narrowed in amusement.
“Now, no need to look like that, Hanguang-jun,” Wei Wuxian said. “I’m only going to indulge in food! See? No wine. Aren’t you pleased?”
He hadn’t indeed ordered any kind of alcohol, which was a first for him. Something about Lan Zhan’s recent mood made him feel a bit cautious. If there was something he wanted to avoid right now, it was causing Lan Zhan displeasure.
There was a shadow of fondness on Lan Zhan’s face. His side of the table looked distinctly more like the regular cuisine of his sect; healthy and bitter. At one point, Wei Wuxian had believed him to like the same kind of spice level as he did, but Lan Sizhui had once let it slip this was not the man’s actual preference.
They’d had words about it. Well, Wei Wuxian had had words, and Lan Zhan had indulgently listened to his chastising for the terrible long con he’d pulled on him, with the knowledge that Wei Wuxian would forget the whole thing in an hour.
“If you wish to drink,” Lan Zhan said, “you should.”
It wasn’t unheard of nowadays, Lan Zhan being so lax with him. Still, Wei Wuxian felt equal amounts of surprised and pleased. He wondered which option Lan Zhan would like more: for Wei Wuxian to drink or not.
In the end, the waiter decided for him. The man appeared out of nowhere, and with an agreeable smile, asked them whether they would like some wine.
“It’s the village specialty,” he said with a wide grin, keeping his eyes intently on Wei Wuxian. “It is really worth trying!”
There was a distinct way the waiter talked to him that much reminded Wei Wuxian of the past when he was still a young man visiting Yunping city and flirting with the seller girls. The same cadence of voice, the same twinkling eyes.
Discount for the wine was the obvious conclusion. Wei Wuxian relaxed further against the table, flashing the waiter his most charming smile.
“Oh? Well, I wouldn’t mind trying it, if handsome gege recommends it!” he said, leaning a bit forward and tapping him lightly on the arm. “Say, if I buy one jug, will I get another one for half the price?”
There was a slight flush rising on the man’s face, his eyes crescenting a bit further. “Certainly! Master seems like a man of refined taste – the second one is on the house.”
Wei Wuxian gave him a shameless wink and then watched him scoot back towards the kitchen.
He turned back to Lan Zhan with a devious smile, ready to boast about his extremely effective bargaining methods, but froze when he caught the sight of the cold look that had returned on his friend’s face.
Lan Zhan’s eyes were slightly narrowed, pointed to where the man had disappeared. There was an aura of displeasure around him, freezing in its temperature. Wei Wuxian blinked and then felt like grimacing. Had he made the wrong choice, ordering wine? Ah, Lan Zhan should have told him so, instead of pretending to be alright with it if he hadn’t truly meant it!
Letting out a nervous laugh, he turned back to his food. “Hm, maybe I don’t need the wine, after all? Should I call him back?”
“No,” Lan Zhan said simply, though the dissatisfaction was still audible in the voice.
There was no argument to be had about it if Lan Zhan was already offended. Wei Wuxian wanted to kick himself for being so stupid – obviously Lan Zhan wouldn’t like to see him drinking! Just because he often watched Wei Wuxian do it while they were in Caiyi town together didn’t mean he actually approved such a thing, especially after how annoying Wei Wuxian had been about his hangover!
This time, he would make sure to keep within the limits of his own tolerance.
Deciding it would be better to just ignore the whole thing, Wei Wuxian started eating and chattering. This one thing he knew Lan Zhan did not mind, at least. He’d once even told him that Wei Wuxian’s stories were entertaining. Or, Wei Wuxian had asked, and Lan Zhan had hummed in the noncommittal sort of way, which definitely meant that he didn’t disagree.
As minutes passed and their bowls became emptier, Lan Zhan seemed to recover from his annoyance, except for the momentary hiccup when the waiter came back to deliver the wine. Lan Zhan glared at him so meanly the man would have been blind not to notice it, and in the end, scurried off like the ends of his robes had been set on fire.
Curiously, after that Lan Zhan seemed just fine again, like taking his anger out on the waiter had been enough of an outlet for the disapproval. He didn’t seem to mind Wei Wuxian pouring himself one cup after another, clearly having made his peace with the idea now that the wine was already there. It had probably something to do with not wasting the drink. It was Lan Zhan who paid, after all.
Thankfully Wei Wuxian was not the type to keep fretting, especially when he was getting such a nice buzz from the drink. Drinking and eating with Lan Zhan was such a good way to spend time, too. In the Cloud Recesses, they often had dinner together in Wei Wuxian’s quarters, where Lan Zhan gracefully ignored the slight mess of talisman papers and clothes strewn around. He sometimes even folded those for Wei Wuxian when he wasn’t paying attention. Wei Wuxian liked him so much.
After some time, Wei Wuxian had gotten tipsy enough to recount his most outrageous stories.
“– and then she climbed into his lap, just like that! Jiang Cheng looked like he was going to die, he was so red! So that’s when he realized we were in a brothel, he grabbed me by the collar and dragged me out. He really doesn’t have a sense of humor!”
Lan Zhan exhaled through his nose in a way that implied he found Wei Wuxian’s retelling of his antics from years back exasperating.
“No need to look so disapproving, Hanguang-jun!” he crooned. “We only ate there, it wasn’t like we made use of their services, hahaha!”
He was not granted a reply for the shameless story, but then, Lan Zhan rarely felt the need to comment anyway. Wei Wuxian was at a point where he had very little filter, but with Lan Zhan, he knew there would be no true judgment there. After his resurrection, Lan Zhan had been nothing but forgiving of his impudence.
“No one’s sat in my lap, either,” Wei Wuxian said, casting Lan Zhan a meaningful look. “Actually, now that I think about it, no one but A-Yuan has ever sat in my lap! It’s usually me doing that, isn’t it?”
It was true. A couple of times, when he’d taken half a cup more than perhaps he should’ve, he’d found his way into Lan Zhan’s lap. It was very funny, for some reason. It made him feel a little bubbly inside, like he was excited for the reaction that always seemed to stay somewhat mild, or just glad that Lan Zhan allowed him to do such an audacious thing without really even scolding him for it.
Now, he gave a considering glance in the direction of Lan Zhan’s lap. With his recent moods, would Lan Zhan get angry at him for doing it now? Lan Zhan’s anger was really something else, too. There was an untouchable quality to him that made excitement well inside Wei Wuxian whenever he managed to make it crack a bit.
Abandoning his half-empty cup, Wei Wuxian climbed his way into the awaiting lap with no further thought. Without a second of outrage, Lan Zhan allowed it. So close, it was obvious he regarded Wei Wuxian with the same type of calm as always, though his pupils were blown in a way that had to mean the lighting in the dim inn was definitely lacking.
“Like this,” he told Lan Zhan with a mock-serious look, as if there was a sensible reason for him to have invaded his space. “The lady sat like this, and then whispered Jiang Cheng something I didn’t hear.”
Lan Zhan’s posture was so straight, that it felt like it would have been impossible to make him bend even a bit. Solid and grounded, and very warm against Wei Wuxian. A bit stiff, too – he always seemed to turn into a bit of a statue, when Wei Wuxian did things like this.
“What do you think she said?” he asked, grinning. “Is it unfair for me to ask that, do you think? I bet the Cloud Recesses don’t teach words like what she might have said.”
“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan said, and there was a clear warning in his eyes.
He hadn’t pushed Wei Wuxian off, though. Or told him to get up. He sometimes did that, when he got really annoyed.
Instead of taking heed of the tone, Wei Wuxian brushed his lips against the lobe of his ear, hot under the touch. “Do you think she asked him for something?”
Suddenly, Lan Zhan’s hand that had been resting primly against his own knee was placed on Wei Wuxian’s hip, the grip tight. Wei Wuxian let out a surprised noise, pulling back. Lan Zhan’s hands were big, and the strength in them was not insignificant. The touch felt burning, his fingers digging into the soft flesh. This had never happened before. Lan Zhan didn’t touch people.
Wei Wuxian got a glance of Lan Zhan’s eyes, then, the almost glassy look in them, like a veil of mist had been placed before them to obscure reality from him. It was a look that, in that instant, made him feel a bit chilly.
And with a blink, it was gone. Lan Zhan pulled his hand from him, turning his face away in what seemed to be an effort to clear his head, shake whatever had gotten over him that made him touch Wei Wuxian.
“You are pantomiming a courtesan,” Lan Zhan said harshly, which was enough of a bucket of cold water for Wei Wuxian’s fun play to turn somewhat embarrassing.
Laughing just a bit too loudly, Wei Wuxian scrambled up and off Lan Zhan’s lap. “Now, don’t get too mad, Er-gege! I was just playing. Ahh, it’s getting late, too, isn’t it? We should head upstairs, right?”
For a moment, Lan Zhan seemed to just be breathing out, but it did not take him more than two seconds to nod.
By the time Lan Zhan had paid and turned in, the buzz of the alcohol was long gone, and the strange look caught in the man’s eyes was but a distant memory.
-
“It’s truly beautiful! How come you Lans make even your buildings look so graceful? It’s like we’ve ascended to Heavens,” Wei Wuxian praised, taking in the elegant build of the cabin.
It was surrounded by pine trees and shrouded in the same light mist that enveloped the Cloud Recesses. The wood used in it was light in color and looked fine in a way only the Lans could manage.
Inside, the décor was minimalistic yet deliberate. The shelves by the walls of the main room held books and an incense burner, and by the rounded window, there was a simple table with seating mats. The kitchen was small, but the big bedroom all but made up for it.
There was only one problem – “Lan Zhan, there’s only one bed! Do you want me to sleep on the floor?”
“No need,” Lan Zhan said, which definitely meant he was going to try and do it himself.
The thought appalled Wei Wuxian. Such a person as Lan Zhan, who had grown up in the comfort afforded to the second master of a big sect, should never have to force himself to try and have a good night’s sleep without a proper bed.
“It’s your cabin, isn’t it? You should definitely take the bed,” Wei Wuxian insisted. Wasn’t he the one with lower status? Besides, he was used to sleeping in strange places. He was pretty good at it, if he said so himself. He’d fallen asleep while riding Lil Apple a few times! Wasn’t it obvious he should be the one to take the floor?
But Lan Zhan only hummed in a way that definitely meant he was going to be difficult about it later when the time came.
Wei Wuxian squinted at him, but had no time to argue before Lan Zhan already distracted him as he spoke, “There is a spring in the backyard.”
“A spring?” Wei Wuxian immediately perked up, rushing to the window. There indeed was a small spring, similar to the cold one in the Cloud Recesses. “Oh, it’s been so hot lately that it might be refreshing to use it for bathing!”
“Mn.”
With a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, Wei Wuxian turned to Lan Zhan, “As long as we don’t peek when the other goes in. There’s no privacy screen big enough for that.”
Ignoring Wei Wuxian, Lan Zhan started unpacking with an unruffled air. He’d brought two bags, which Wei Wuxian considered a lot, though at some point he’d realized the other one was likely full of his own clothes since he’d forgotten to take anything with him but his flute.
Indeed, when Lan Zhan had put his own nice white robes in the dresser, he promptly started pulling out black and red ones. There was something very pleasing about seeing their clothes next to each other like that, the domesticity of it all. It looked like they were very close, sharing space like this.
It was only later when they were already sitting down at the table, having some congee Wei Wuxian made them since Lan Zhan had done the unpacking, that he realized the bags had been quite big. The number of clothes was much more than one needed for a few weeks' trip, in fact. Did Lan Zhan expect to stay for a while?
His attention was turned from the topic as Lan Zhan complimented him on the congee, and Wei Wuxian got to boast about the new recipe he’d learned from one of the cooks in the Cloud Recesses’ kitchens.
It was probably not that important, anyway.
-
The days in the cabin went by surprisingly fast and easy. Wei Wuxian wasn’t shy to admit that Lan Zhan was most definitely his favorite person ever, and spending time with him was always fun, no matter what they were doing. He got to satisfy his sense of mischief just by constantly teasing him, which now seemed even easier than back in Gusu, where Lan Qiren and the other elders could be behind any corner to shout at him.
He whined and wheedled and teased and laughed, and Lan Zhan seemed to endure it all with a calm mind and even amusement. It was only sometimes that there appeared that certain look on his face when Wei Wuxian pushed something a bit too far. Once, when he attempted to cajole Lan Zhan into bathing with him, all er-gege, please, what if I slip and die? And another time, when he yet again attempted to climb into Lan Zhan’s lap after a few cups of alcohol.
The bed thing was resolved the first night quite easily, though it was the one thing that made Wei Wuxian a bit hesitant. Not that he hadn’t been elated when Lan Zhan picked him up and tossed him on the bed from the floor he had attempted to argue for himself, but when he got in after Wei Wuxian, he couldn’t deny how fluttery he’d suddenly felt, like the bottom of his stomach had been filled with something slightly heavier than butterflies. Moths, maybe?
In any case, the bed was big, and Lan Zhan stayed firmly on his back on his side of the bed and didn’t react at all to Wei Wuxian’s restless squirming. That was the first night, but the nights after that were a bit easier. Well, the moth thing was still happening in his belly, but that was something he could deal with. Anyone would be a little nervous sleeping next to someone as beautiful as Hanguang-jun.
They spent some amount of time out in the mountain, hunting pheasants and whatever minor yaos happened to be unfortunate enough to stumble into them. Wei Wuxian loved how much he was allowed to run and be loud here. Lan Zhan only looked at him with something soft in his eyes, indulgently letting him do all the things that he hadn’t been allowed to do in the recesses.
In the evenings, Lan Zhan would play beautiful melodies to him with his guqin, letting Wei Wuxian lean on his back or lie on the floor with his feet tucked against Lan Zhan’s folded knees. On the porch, watching the sloping forest around them that was slightly obscured by the mist, Wei Wuxian felt truly calm in his heart.
Only, there were some things that had given him a pause in the past days.
He’d noted the amount of clothing packed the first day, which he had quickly forgotten. But then he couldn’t help but notice that Lan Zhan had indeed brought with him quite a bit of other necessities, ranging from foodstuff to everyday items, such as his favorite book with some dried flowers inside.
Another thing was the way Lan Zhan’s mood visibly darkened whenever Wei Wuxian mentioned offhandedly something about returning, or made a joke about his Yiling Patriarch times, or told a story where he might have done something a bit risky or dangerous.
It wasn’t that Lan Zhan hadn’t shown his disapproval before. It was the fact that the disapproval was so obvious on him, like he couldn’t stop his own face from getting colder, more distant. Lan Zhan was, fundamentally, not a very expressive person.
The most concerning thing happened after a week of staying there. Wei Wuxian noticed that at some point, Lan Zhan had placed protective talismans on the walls of the cabin, something far more than what was needed for a remote, peaceful place like this.
It could have just been Lan Zhan’s careful nature. Something in Wei Wuxian told him it might have been more than that, though, and by this age, he had learned to trust his gut.
When he asked about them, Lan Zhan only said, “It is a precaution.”
And then one night, Wei Wuxian’s seed of concern turned into a full plant, as he noticed something about one of the talismans that Lan Zhan seemed to activate at night. It was not meant to keep people outside, though they were plenty of those there as well.
It was a talisman that prevented a person from leaving.
-
Wei Wuxian had a working theory that he needed to confirm promptly. He hadn’t been able to shake the unease within him, though he sought to hide it from Lan Zhan by being even louder than normal, laughing like there was nothing in the world that could cause him to lose the lightheartedness.
The attempts to join Lan Zhan when he bathed had proved impossible – the man was a mountain, and Wei Wuxian was but a burst of howling wind against his considerable strength of will.
So he stayed in the cabin, sat by the window to try and take a peek at Lan Zhan’s unclothed form. The man had insisted Wei Wuxian bathe first, so he was still in his under robe, hair damp and patches of white clothing sticking to his hastily dried skin.
The spring was close enough to make the looking feel indecent, though if Wei Wuxian excelled at something, it was being shameless. He watched intently as Lan Zhan got rid of his layers, methodically going through piece by unreasonably complicated piece.
Even clothed, Lan Zhan was almost otherworldly. Now, his hair was a veil of black silk, cascading down his tall frame. His face, something absurdly beautiful, sculpted from ice and jade without humanly imperfections. When he slid out of his under robe, the image of an untouchable beauty magnified. The hours doing meditative handstands were visible on the definition of his muscles, lean yet obviously powerful.
Wei Wuxian’s mouth felt dry as his eyes scanned him for a sign. There was nothing – just an endless expanse of unfairly beautiful skin with the strength of a thousand cultivators underneath.
He’d just have to take the pants off so that Wei Wuxian could be sure –
And then his eyes shot up, only to realize that Lan Zhan’s gaze was already on him, unreadable and boundless in its intensity. The bottom of Wei Wuxian’s stomach dropped. He was frozen, meeting those eyes.
Lan Zhan’s lips moved, and it would have been impossible to hear him inside, but it was clear what the words were: Have you had enough?
Scrambling out of sight, away from the window, Wei Wuxian’s heart was beating so fast and hard against his chest that he feared it might burst.
Ahhh, Lan Zhan! That terrible man! He’d known the entire time, and just let Wei Wuxian look? Shameless! Definitely shameless! Wasn’t Wei Wuxian supposed to be the one with no regard for other people’s boundaries?
He hid his face in his hands, then after a moment, slapped them against his cheeks. He had a mission. What he’d done just now was not out of voyeuristic curiosity, but to make sure his concerns were unfounded.
He had grown back his thick skin by the time Lan Zhan got back, and the man himself mentioned nothing of it. Wei Wuxian expected some sort of chastisement, or at least a stern comment about indecency, but Lan Zhan only made them some tea and did not say anything about the slight blush that refused to leave Wei Wuxian’s face, no matter how much he tried.
Fully clothed, it would have been impossible to check Lan Zhan thoroughly. His upper body seemed as unblemished as expected, but there were parts of him Wei Wuxian had not seen. He thought about broaching the topic, though something in him hesitated. Shouldn’t Lan Zhan have already noticed something himself? His back he could not see, but surely the legs were a different matter.
As he sat next to him by the table, though, Wei Wuxian did a quick scan of his features again, and something caught his eyes this time. Lan Zhan inclined his head as he poured a cup of tea for him, and just then, Wei Wuxian could see the edge of something black on the side of his neck where his hair parted momentarily.
It was hidden under his collar, but if Wei Wuxian was right, then –
He reached out his hand without thinking, turning closer to Lan Zhan. Yet before he could do anything, Lan Zhan had already caught his wrist, and with the ease of his considerable strength, pulled Wei Wuxian into his lap. He landed with a complete lack of grace, yelping in his surprise.
“Lan Zhan! What’s gotten into you?!” he demanded, his position awkward enough for him to naturally shuffle into a better position, legs on each side of Lan Zhan’s thighs. “Aren’t you a bit too bold with me, er-gege?”
“Is it not what you were trying to do?” Lan Zhan asked flatly.
Wei Wuxian spluttered before he managed a “No!”
“Then what?”
He opened his mouth to declare his intention of pulling Lan Zhan’s collar back but was suddenly certain his reasoning was not going to be believed. What was this shameless show, anyway? When had Lan Zhan grown into such a bully?
“You had dust on your shoulder,” Wei Wuxian lied, and only met Lan Zhan’s eyes as the man looked visibly unimpressed.
Then Wei Wuxian attempted to get up, but Lan Zhan’s steady hands were suddenly pressing on his thighs, jerking him right back into his earlier position. He attempted to do it again, but Lan Zhan only let him raise himself perhaps an inch before pushing him back down. The motion suddenly reminded Wei Wuxian of something else, and with his face getting a bit redder, he stilled.
Fine, then. It wasn’t like Wei Wuxian had any qualms with being in Lan Zhan’s lap! He wasn’t the one hung up on propriety. Using the position to his advantage, Wei Wuxian quickly reached out his hand again and pulled the collar of Lan Zhan’s robe aside where he wanted it.
His eyes widened. Before he had the time to so much as open his mouth, however, the world shifted, as Lan Zhan pressed his upper body against the table. He only barely missed the cup of tea and the pot, though the move made them shake and clink.
“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian hissed, outraged.
The look in Lan Zhan’s eyes made his tongue feel like lead. The man was gazing down at him, eyes half-lidded, burning. A look that was shrouded in that strangeness from before, the one that had recently overtaken him more and more.
Wei Wuxian’s mouth was curiously dry again, his spine tingling. He was pinned by the look, the tight hold on his thighs, their position.
The part of his brain that was not suddenly muddled with heat made an attempt to get up. Lan Zhan pushed him back down.
The way his back hit against the wood of the table was enough to knock him out of it, to try and get some control in the situation.
Lan Zhan’s mouth opened, but Wei Wuxian cut whatever he was going to say with a slightly hysterical, “Lan Zhan, you’ve got a curse mark on your neck!”
-
“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan said, and his brows were furrowed. He stood by the mirror, holding the collar of his robe to reveal the blackened skin underneath. “There is nothing there.”
Wei Wuxian’s blood felt cold in his veins. He had suspected, but as his fears were confirmed, the feeling of dread was debilitating.
The curse had to have been from the night-hunt with the kids weeks ago. The man who had turned angrier and angrier, twisted into another person until he had committed an unspeakable act towards the people he loved.
The curse mark had been on his leg – shouldn’t the man have noticed it? But if the curse did not allow one to realize they were cursed, it was obvious they would not seek out help.
Wei Wuxian was suddenly filled with helpless fear for Lan Zhan. This man, who was so selfless, who was the best person Wei Wuxian knew, and he didn’t know he was cursed. Would he get violent? Would he become enraged, go on a rampage, and hurt people?
The thought made Wei Wuxian shiver. He had to fix this before Lan Zhan did something to himself or others.
Wei Wuxian was suddenly desperately glad they were here together and not at the Cloud Recesses, where a bout of madness from Hanguang-jun could cut down half a sect. Now, the only person at risk was Wei Wuxian.
Besides, he did not know the timeline. How fast would the curse work? How long did he have? He imagined going back to the Cloud Recesses just in time for Lan Zhan to lose it and hurt someone. The way back was long.
Noticing the tremble Wei Wuxian had forgotten to hide in his distress, Lan Zhan turned to him. A big hand was placed against his forehead, concern evident in Lan Zhan’s eyes. “Are you sick?”
“No,” Wei Wuxian denied.
“…” Lan Zhan’s look was serious. “Wei Ying, you are seeing things. Shivering. You need to lie down.”
He couldn’t help the little hysterical burst of laughter from escaping his lips. Ah, how futile would it be to argue with Lan Zhan about the curse mark? Would talking about it anger him? Could he be convinced into believing the truth, or were the possible side effects too great to gamble?
Another shiver. What was the risk of a qi deviation? The man had been a commoner, but Lan Zhan was one of the most powerful cultivators in the world right now. The curse probably moved slower for him because of that, but the end result could be catastrophic.
“Lan Zhan, the night-hunt you went on with the juniors a while ago,” Wei Wuxian said, pulling back from the hand. “How did you break the curse?”
Lan Zhan blinked at him, and the dread in Wei Wuxian grew, as his eyes gained the glassy look again. “What night-hunt?”
“The man who was cursed and killed his family,” Wei Wuxian attempted, but he could see that the more he spoke, the more concerned Lan Zhan looked, as if Wei Wuxian was acting insane.
Lan Zhan spoke slowly, “I have not gone to the kind of night-hunt you are describing.”
“Ah.” Wei Wuxian nodded, then cleared his throat. “It must have been your brother, then. You know me. My memory is terrible.”
Lan Zhan nodded, though the line between his brows only deepened as he watched Wei Wuxian.
How much time did he have? Days? Weeks? What would be the trigger for Lan Zhan to become enraged? Or would it be something else, some other bad emotion consuming his calm, controlled Hanguang-jun?
He cursed himself for not having gone with them. He knew nothing of the case, other than what he’d been told, and no one had mentioned the spell for breaking the curse. He should have asked Lan Zhan. He should have made sure, when he came back, to check whether he was truly alright.
“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan said, and his tone was gentle. “Go lie down.”
Helpless to do anything but follow the command, Wei Wuxian did. He needed to think, and he needed to make sure Lan Zhan wouldn’t get angry. The glassy look in his eyes was a sure way to tell that there was something off – hadn’t he seen it so many times on his face, when Wei Wuxian had annoyed him?
He should have known. It had been obvious, but Wei Wuxian had been too caught up in his own silly antics to truly mind the clear signs of Lan Zhan seeming off.
But blaming himself was futile, now. He needed to break the curse. He needed to keep Lan Zhan happy, and he needed to break the curse.
-
The books in the cabin concerned cultivation – after all, the place was to be used mainly by thenight-hunters of the family, who preferred peaceful alone time in a desolate cabin rather than going to an inn. Several of those books were about curses.
Wei Wuxian, who had finally after ages of lying in the bed doing nothing but trying to argue with Lan Zhan, managed to convince the man he was alright, and the whole thing with the curse mark had been a joke. There was still that slightly worried look on his face, but Wei Wuxian could not waste precious time on making sure he was fully convinced.
He picked up a book and started searching. Lan Zhan did not question him for this, perhaps thankful that Wei Wuxian stayed in place for a while. Maybe he thought he truly was still sick, and reading could not do him much harm.
He went through the book in record time and found it completely useless. Unwilling to succumb to frustration, Wei Wuxian picked up another one. Close by, Lan Zhan meditated.
Some part of Wei Wuxian knew this approach was ineffective. Had they been at the Cloud Recesses, even if no one knew the best way to get rid of the curse, he could have at least asked the Lans to point him in the direction of the curses that affected one’s temperament and emotions. There were many texts pertaining to specific topics, but at least the search would be somewhat limited.
Wei Wuxian had not run into this type of curse before. He was much more familiar with the types connected to resentful beings. Those were the simple ones – just appease or kill the being responsible, and you were good to go.
These kinds of curses were more complex, and the spreading type. Often, the only way to get rid of them was to know the specific spell used.
Lan Zhan had known it, but could not tell it to him. The kids had attempted it but failed, which likely resulted in Lan Zhan’s current predicament. Again, Wei Wuxian felt regretful for not having been there. A useless sentiment, but he felt it nonetheless.
He read the second book with even more fervor.
“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan pulled him back from the haze of research after hours of reading about different curses.
He did not move his eyes from the book. “Hm? What is it?”
Lan Zhan was quiet for a moment, and then his long fingers appeared in Wei Wuxian’s line of sight, gently pulling the book from his hold. Miffed, Wei Wuxian attempted to take it back, only to be met with Lan Zhan’s stern gaze.
“It is nearing nine,” the man said.
Again, Wei Wuxian reached for the book, only to have it be held higher. “Aiya, you can sleep, I’ll come too once I’ve finished this.”
“No,” Lan Zhan said simply. “You are tired.”
So what if he was? A few nights of poor sleep would be well worth finding the solution to the problem Lan Zhan didn’t realize he had.
“Lan Zhan, so eager to get me in bed,” Wei Wuxian cooed, changing the tactics. Maybe he could manage to drive Lan Zhan away with the usual nonsense.
The plan failed immediately, as Lan Zhan only placed the book back on the shelf, and picked Wei Wuxian up by the waist like he weighed nothing. Squealing, Wei Wuxian attempted to squirm free, but Lan Zhan’s hold only tightened.
“What, you’re going to force me, then?” Wei Wuxian demanded, and then was brought back to earth when he noticed how the strange look returned to Lan Zhan’s eyes.
Ah. What was he doing, just now? Provoking Lan Zhan, when he knew the man was going on a downwards spiral to what might have been a total loss of control? Maybe Wei Wuxian could play with his own life, but to do that to Lan Zhan? He felt immediate regret.
“Fine, you win, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian quickly said. “Let go of me, alright? I’ll do what you say, I’ll be good.”
His friend’s hold on his body stayed tight, but when Wei Wuxian forcibly relaxed himself, he was placed on the bed without much more fuss. Earlier nights, when they turned in, Lan Zhan had given him privacy out of his innate sense of propriety, but tonight, it seemed he had to make sure there was no funny business.
It was strange, disrobing when Lan Zhan’s eyes were on him. The weird feeling in the bottom of his stomach intensified, made him feel a bit like he’d been drinking again. There was something about it being Lan Zhan , who watched him. Wei Wuxian had no shame to speak of – why, then, did his hands shake a bit when he got to the final layer?
Thankfully, after handing him the sleeping robes, Lan Zhan finally turned away.
When it was his turn to change, Wei Wuxian allowed him the privacy he hadn’t been afforded. Soon they were both under the sheets, half an arm away from each other, and neither was obviously asleep.
Lan Zhan kept his eyes closed, though, and in the darkness, his profile seemed softer, a little fuzzy.
How long would it take, to find the solution? How long did he have? Lan Zhan’s exterior did not give away what happened under the surface. How bad was the situation already?
Wei Wuxian had been proud of himself, at one point, to have learned to read Lan Zhan so well. But right now, in the dark room next to him, he found it impossible to know just how bad things had gotten, or what to do about it.
-
After another day, he had gone through most of the books, all of them useless. His gloom was palpable; Lan Zhan kept looking at him in a way that spoke of immense displeasure. He encouraged Wei Wuxian to do other things, and to appease Lan Zhan, Wei Wuxian took little breaks from the research to entertain him.
He lost the game of weiqi massively, unable to focus, and when he attempted to make Lan Zhan some good food to make up for his lousy play, he put in way too much chili oil in it. Lan Zhan ate it with a neutral face and thanked him afterward, but it couldn’t have been good for someone who preferred milder taste.
It wasn’t only that Lan Zhan was displeased. There were moments where Wei Wuxian was sprawled on the floor and chewing his lips in thought, when he caught Lan Zhan staring at him with the same incomprehensible look, like his mind was disconnected from reality.
Wei Wuxian licked his lips, and Lan Zhan’s eyes would follow. Against his knees, his hands twitched.
There was an unnerving element to it, like a predator watching its prey. For some reason, Wei Wuxian felt a bit like a clueless rabbit in front of a fox.
He had only two books left when it seemed Lan Zhan had had enough. He’d been caught staring again, at the slope of Wei Wuxian’s naked neck, and when pulled out of such a trance, seemed especially irritated.
“Is it not enough?”
Wei Wuxian blinked. “Ah?”
“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan said, patient. “You believe I have been cursed. Yet you cannot find a curse that suits what you believe.”
It wasn’t that Wei Wuxian hadn’t thought Lan Zhan didn’t know what he was doing. Still, the fact that he was so openly talking about it threw him for a loop.
“I haven’t found it yet,” he said.
“These books describe the most common curses.” Lan Zhan’s pretty brows were hanging low again.
“Then it’s one that’s not too common,” Wei Wuxian argued.
“And what are my symptoms?”
“I don’t know, a curse mark on the neck is a pretty major one,” Wei Wuxian stated. He hadn’t noticed his grip on the book in his lap had gotten tighter, until the corner of it dug painfully into his palm.
Lan Zhan stared at him like there was something terribly wrong with him. Like one might look at someone who claimed to see things one was convinced weren’t there.
“We should go back to the Cloud Recesses,” Wei Wuxian blurted.
He’d thought about it, in the past hour. The travel back was long, but it did not seem that Lan Zhan’s curse was worsening too fast. The risk of it was massive, but here, with the possible help from the books exhausted, Wei Wuxian found it the most reasonable option.
Only, his suggestion brought such a cold look on Lan Zhan’s face that Wei Wuxian felt himself still in place.
“Is that what this is?” Lan Zhan asked quietly.
“What?”
“You do not wish to stay here with me,” the man said, and there was a note of dejection in the words.
Wei Wuxian put the book away, leaning forward like that would help him understand the turn the conversation had taken. “What? That’s not what I said at all, ah, er-gege! It’s just – the curse –“
“Do not lie,” Lan Zhan cut in. He paused, before continuing, “You would rather go back to where you are disrespected.”
There was no amount of confused blinking that would have made what Lan Zhan said more sensible. “What?”
“Shouted at, demeaned,” Lan Zhan continued, his voice getting sharper while the rhythm stayed slow. The haze before his eyes was back. “Here, you are free to be. And you wish to leave?”
“Of course not!” Wei Wuxian insisted, even though he really did not know what to make of the accusations. “Lan Zhan, I – I like being here with you, and I like being there with you as well, but –“
“You make up a curse to escape me,” Lan Zhan stated, bitter.
“Escape you? What nonsense are you spouting, Hanguang-jun? Why would I need to escape you?”
Somehow, the look in his eyes, the burn that twinged on madness, got more intense. “You do not. I will take care of you.”
Take care of him? Wei Wuxian’s head was hurting, the strange tone in Lan Zhan’s voice confirming some of his fears about the curse’s effects. He was a few words away from worsening it, making Lan Zhan think hostile thoughts towards others.
He thought Wei Wuxian wanted to leave him. He thought Wei Wuxian was not being treated well outside. He thought….he thought he was to take care of Wei Wuxian.
All of it made the pain in Wei Wuxian’s chest grow. What was there to be done, now that the option of leaving brought Lan Zhan closer to whatever line there existed towards delirium? Wei Wuxian could not suggest it again. He could not escape to find out the cure and leave Lan Zhan here alone, either. Lan Zhan truly was making this terribly hard for them both!
The one option left, then, was…
“It’s...it’s just that, ah, Lan Zhan, I miss Sizhui,” he said quietly, tentatively gauging the reaction. The harsh look on Lan Zhan’s face seemed to ease, as he blinked away some of the glassiness. “Maybe we shouldn’t go to him, but I’d like to send a letter to him, at the very least.”
Another blink. Lan Zhan seemed to think this over, silent. Then, he nodded.
Something in Wei Wuxian relaxed, hope blooming again. The letter would take time, which was why he had at first discarded the thought. He wished he hadn’t – it would have been at the Cloud Recesses soon, had he sent it days ago. But the next best time to send for help was now, so he stumbled up to gather the writing utensils.
The most useful thing to do would have been to ask Lan Xichen to come, as he was likely the most proficient in curing the curse. But the moment he settled at the table to write a letter, he realized one big problem. Lan Zhan was sitting there, looking intently at what he was going to write.
Wei Wuxian’s hand stilled. He had to risk it, then. “We’re not going to go back to the Cloud Recesses, so how about we ask your brother and Sizhui to visit?”
There was another long silence, as Lan Zhan’s eyes bored a hole into his profile. Wei Wuxian could feel himself tensing, apprehensive of a negative reaction that might cause Lan Zhan to lose his temper, to fall deeper into his...delusion.
That’s what this was, wasn’t it? Wei Wuxian thought back to his own suggestion of a vacation, how easily Lan Zhan had agreed. Back then, had he already thought that Wei Wuxian needed to be taken away, hidden from his sect?
The talismans on the walls felt conspicuous, glaring. The house, and Wei Wuxian in it, were protected from the world. No one coming in, no one going out.
“Mn,” Lan Zhan allowed, finally.
With a relieved breath, Wei Wuxian started writing, and did not for a moment think about the fact that when his Lan Zhan, the best person in the world, was hit with a curse that distorted him into someone dangerous, his first instinct was to hide Wei Wuxian away from anyone who had ever shown him scorn.
-
That evening, they descended from the mountain to the village below. It was good seeing people for a change, though with how precarious the situation with Lan Zhan was, Wei Wuxian couldn’t feel too carefree. Especially with Lan Zhan walking so close.
Normally, Wei Wuxian would not have paid it any attention, only delighted in the proximity. Now, he felt a bit like he was getting a gift that had been cheated out of Lan Zhan. How much of it was out of the man’s own will, and how much of it was the curse acting up, making him behave in ways that he would have never thought before?
When Wei Wuxian stopped at a few vendors on the village’s main street, Lan Zhan pulled him closer by the waist, and then kept his hand there.
The move should not have made Wei Wuxian feel as flustered as it did. This was something Lan Zhan would have normally never done. Lan Zhan didn’t like touching people, and he had only ever seemed to tolerate it when Wei Wuxian did it to him.
But Wei Wuxian didn’t shake off the touch either, cognizant of the possibility of such a thing getting on Lan Zhan’s nerves. He clearly wanted to keep Wei Wuxian from wandering too much, which was just fine, as they came here to do one thing – get the letter delivered.
Lan Zhan had tucked it safely in his qiankun sleeve. There had been some words about who should carry it, but again, Wei Wuxian wasn’t especially keen on fighting with Lan Zhan right now. His condition seemed most stable like that, when he got to boss Wei Wuxian around.
It took him only some asking around to find a young man willing to deliver a letter as far as the Cloud Recesses. Lan Zhan let go of his waist to pull out his coins, which made Wei Wuxian feel unbalanced for a bit.
He paid the boy and sent him off with the letter.
Wei Wuxian watched him leave, and thought of the fact that there was very little to be done here other than keeping Lan Zhan happy. The books and Lan Zhan himself were of limited help.
“Since we’re here, do you want to go and get something to eat?” Wei Wuxian asked then. “Ah, how about at that inn where we stayed the first night? The food was good and the service even better!”
Somehow, it seemed he had taken a misstep. The absolutely terrifying look on Lan Zhan’s face made him hastily add, “Or, actually, we should try something else for a change! I’m in the mood for dumplings.”
“No,” Lan Zhan replied after a long pause, voice cold. “We will go to the inn.”
Without waiting for Wei Wuxian to agree, he placed his arm around him again, the grip on his waist even tighter than before. He got dragged along with Lan Zhan’s long strides, attempting not to focus on the fact that they likely looked like a young couple attached to each other in this way.
At the inn, they were immediately directed to the table, which made Wei Wuxian feel grateful for a fleeting moment. Lan Zhan would let go of him, and the feeling of his fingers digging into Wei Wuxian’s side would disappear and stop distracting him.
Instead of that happening, he found himself being hauled down to Lan Zhan’s lap, back to his chest with Lan Zhan’s arm wrapped around his midsection. For a second, Wei Wuxian was so shocked he could say nothing.
Then, “Lan Zhan! What do you think you’re doing? How are you going to eat like this, with me in the way?”
“Hm,” Lan Zhan only replied, his breath brushing the hairs on the back of Wei Wuxian’s neck.
A shiver ran down his spine. Wei Wuxian attempted to get up, but Lan Zhan only held onto him tighter. Not planning to repeat what had happened a few days ago, with Wei Wuxian bouncing up and down in Lan Zhan’s lap, he stilled.
When the waiter appeared, the same young man that had given Wei Wuxian the free jug of wine, Lan Zhan’s grip tightened further. Wei Wuxian was helpless to do anything but lean on the shamelessness, as he only ordered the same type of food that he had last time, and some wine to go with it.
The waiter did not meet his eyes. In fact, the man seemed so embarrassed he could not look their way at all, gaze somewhere on the wall. He only nodded, bowed, and hurried away.
Wei Wuxian was far past feeling shame, but the whole situation perplexed him. It had to be about the curse, otherwise, Lan Zhan would have never behaved in this kind of way. What was the point of the whole thing? Embarrass Wei Wuxian? That would have been impossible – did he not do this often on his own as well?
But the feel of it – Lan Zhan’s fingers fanned out against his ribs, his mouth so close to Wei Wuxian’s neck – was strange. Wei Wuxian wanted to squirm. In his mind, he prayed for the boy to hurry up and get the message to the Cloud Recesses soon, to stop Lan Zhan from doing these things he would never even think of doing, were he feeling alright.
When the food came, Lan Zhan did the next terrible thing. He reached out behind Wei Wuxian and took hold of the chopsticks, picking up an especially spicy-looking piece of meat, and brought it to Wei Wuxian’s lips before he had the time to process what was going on.
Instinctively, Wei Wuxian opened his mouth. The food was placed gently inside, and he chewed, and he swallowed.
“Lan Zhan –!” Wei Wuxian started, once his mouth was empty, but Lan Zhan used the opportunity of his open lips to shove more food in there.
It was terrible. It was awful. Wei Wuxian had to sit in his lap, enveloped in his warmth, and be fed the tasty food of the establishment he’d liked so much before, and he could do nothing but feel guilty about it.
Lan Zhan’s hands were steady, his motions calm. As if everything was just fine. As if the curse mark on his neck did not make the situation so unstable that Wei Wuxian was sure it was only a matter of time before things took a turn to the worse.
He ate obediently until Lan Zhan deemed he had been fed well enough. At that point, he poured Wei Wuxian wine. Even this, he did not let Wei Wuxian do himself. A delicate hand wrapped itself around Wei Wuxian’s throat, right under his jaw, tilting his head upwards. The rim of the cup was held against his mouth. Wei Wuxian drank, his throat bobbing under Lan Zhan’s hand. The alcohol burned.
A drop of it missed, spilling from the corner of his mouth, and trailing down to his jaw. Lan Zhan put the cup away. His thumb swiped the wine off, and then promptly, the thumb was also placed against his lips. Transfixed, Wei Wuxian licked it. It tasted like salt.
Lan Zhan’s fingers twitched against him, pulling at the fabric of his sash.
On the other side of the room, the waiter stumbled.
“Enough?” Lan Zhan asked in a low voice, right under his ear. Wei Wuxian shivered again, though he managed to nod.
It was really, truly enough.
-
That the day ended in them sharing the bed was something Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but feel conflicted about. Lying there, all cleaned up from the bath he had in the cabin while Lan Zhan took his in the spring, he was barely able to keep himself calm.
They had sent the letter, but it did not feel like it was enough. Lan Zhan had acted so strangely that day, it was obvious that the curse was escalating. It seemed it did not only affect one’s proclivity to anger – most likely, it worked to up a person’s darker impulses to treacherous levels.
Lan Zhan, under the calm surface, did have deep feelings. Wei Wuxian knew him enough by now to know this. But what he couldn’t quite understand were the things he’d done recently, and their little display at the inn today.
What had he wanted to prove with it? Did he want to show Wei Wuxian what it was like to be on the receiving end of such embarrassing behavior? It had worked, though not in the intended way. Wei Wuxian should have chosen to go take a dip in the spring, after all, where the water was cool. Lan Zhan had warmed up his bath for him with a talisman.
Next to him, Lan Zhan’s breathing was steady. One could have almost believed he had fallen asleep if one weren’t as skillful of a cultivator as Wei Wuxian was.
Like an itch he could not scratch, the thoughts in his head and the feelings down in the bottom of his stomach mixed into something that kept him awake. He wanted to hide his face in his hands and scream a little, let the frustrations out.
Lan Zhan ah, why do you have to worry me this way?!
His friend, his dear Lan Zhan, had been cursed to behave in such a concerning way, and all Wei Wuxian could think about was how bullied he himself felt over his behavior! As if Lan Zhan had any say in it!
He was helpless to stop it, was the thing. He’d gone through countless plans the past days, thought them up and discarded them just as fast. Lan Zhan would not let him leave, and Lan Zhan would not travel with him away. Angering Lan Zhan was a risk; waiting around was a risk.
He considered knocking Lan Zhan out, keeping him unconscious, and taking him to the Cloud Recesses. There was an immediate flaw in this plan; he was under constant surveillance from the man himself, and what would he do if Lan Zhan stopped him, got enraged, and qi deviated? What were even the chances of him besting Lan Zhan, when the man was stronger than him in both physical strength and cultivation?
Wei Wuxian had his flute, but…
Staring at the ceiling did not bring answers. Nothing seemed to bring answers. He was completely, utterly powerless.
And in the meantime, Lan Zhan treated him in such a way that made him think –
That made him feel –
Wei Wuxian turned in the bed, burrowing himself under the sheets.
-
In the morning, he found that sleep had brought him no solution. He could hear Lan Zhan out in the kitchen, probably making them breakfast, as he had been doing for the duration of them being here.
Wei Wuxian put on his own clothes with the resolve to fix things. No matter how bad things seemed right now, he could figure it out. He was not called a genius for nothing. Lan Zhan would be good for him and wait – he only needed to work it out or wait it out, until Zewu-jun showed up.
It would be fine.
Only, he was hit with another bout of dread when he patted his robes, realizing that his flute was not where he usually kept it with his belt.
Surely – surely Lan Zhan wouldn’t have taken it? What would be the point of that, anyway? Didn’t he mean to protect Wei Wuxian – how was it productive to take his strongest method of defense away from him?
Hoping he had only misplaced Chenqing, Wei Wuxian looked for it in the room. He went through his own stuff first, before starting to search from Lan Zhan’s side as well. Moving Lan Zhan’s stuff and shaking his robes, like the flute might just fall out of them if he did it efficiently enough.
Without much caring for Lan Zhan’s privacy, he took the robe the man had worn just yesterday, and put his hand in the qiankun sleeve. His money bag was there, as well as some cultivation-related things.
Something cold went through Wei Wuxian, as his hand caught the corner of a paper. He pulled it out, letting the robe itself fall on the ground. He stared at his findings, his own handwriting that was barely legible as he’d written it in such a rush. Free of the envelope that had been sent away just the day before, evidently empty.
Lan Zhan hadn’t sent the message.
No one would be coming for help.
In his shock, he had not heard the steps advancing towards the room until the sound of the door opening alerted him to Lan Zhan’s presence. He didn’t have the time to hide the letter or pretend he hadn’t been going through his stuff.
Lan Zhan’s eyes looked distant, where they were pointed at his hand, still gripping the letter.
“You didn’t send it,” Wei Wuxian said. As if Lan Zhan hadn’t known. As if the whole thing hadn’t been planned out, to make Wei Wuxian think there was hope to be had.
“Mn,” Lan Zhan only replied, so cold and honest it was impossible to stop the feeling of chill.
He did not sound regretful, not even about getting caught. As if he knew Wei Wuxian was unwilling to fight about it. He was unwilling to fight about it, though the two shocking realizations of the day were already making him feel sick to his stomach.
This controlling behavior, the deceit, and the stealing were already so far past what was normal for Lan Zhan it felt a bit surreal.
He attempted to go for a light tone, as if he thought Lan Zhan only hadn’t thought things through, rather than that he was actively being deranged about it. “Why? Don’t you miss Sizhui? Don’t you miss your brother?”
There was a brief pause. “They would take you away.”
Take him away. From the house Lan Zhan had chosen for them to stay in, where no one could get in and no one would go without him permitting it.
Wei Wuxian raised his eyebrows. “Are we going to spend the rest of our life here alone, inside these four walls?”
“Why not?” Lan Zhan asked, unyielding.
A fifth wall, this Lan Zhan. It was truly useless to try to argue with a cursed person. Still, he asked, “And what about me?”
There was not a hint of an expression on his friend’s face. “What about you?”
“What if I want to leave?”
Another layer of glass over Lan Zhan’s eyes. “You cannot.”
“Why?” Wei Wuxian asked.
“You cannot take care of yourself.”
Cannot take care of himself – Wei Wuxian wanted to laugh for the absurdity. Before the curse, there had been no question about Lan Zhan’s conviction of Wei Wuxian’s capabilities. They night-hunted both together and separately. To state it so straightforwardly, that he did not believe Wei Wuxian could take care of himself, was a proof enough that the curse had ran past Lan Zhan’s own reason.
This was concern twisted to a point of farce, and Wei Wuxian could not help but want to shake these thoughts out of him.
His tone turned more serious, as he stated, “You took my flute. You should know that is not enough to make me incapable.”
The comment had barely any effect on Lan Zhan, besides making him seem even more distant, even more like someone who could not be reached through words.
“I can protect you,” the man said, certainty in his voice.
“I can protect myself,” Wei Wuxian argued.
Lan Zhan’s face hardened.
“You cannot,” he said. Then, after a pause, continued with a quieter voice, “You could not.”
It was as if Lan Zhan’s pale eyes were staring past him, into their shared history of war and violence and his gruesome death at the Burial Mounds.
Past the obviousness of the fact that right now, they were fine. There was no threat towards Wei Wuxian, and there had not been one in such a long time even the memory of it seemed hazy. In this life, the most danger in Wei Wuxian’s life were the long lectures from Lan Qiren, and those were non-lethal.
“Lan Zhan…” he started, wanting to assure him, even despite knowing nothing would get past the wall the curse had become.
“I will take care of you,” the man stated firmly. Like saying it again and again would pull Wei Wuxian into the madness as well.
Wei Wuxian shook his head. “No, Lan Zhan – doesn’t it matter what I want?”
Lan Zhan’s eyes narrowed, his eyes suddenly holding something burning, knowing in them.
“I know what you want,” he said in a low voice.
With the words, the floor felt a little like it might disappear from under Wei Wuxian. This, he had not expected. Perhaps he should have, with how everything had started tilting that way lately.
Yet, he could not ask. Could not utter a single word, in fact, for the fear of what Lan Zhan might say. He only let out a laugh that came out too nervous, despite the attempted lightness.
It did nothing to break the tension. Lan Zhan’s eyes were intense on him.
The conversation had been a bad idea from the start.
“The breakfast,” he finally managed. “We should – we should get to it! Lan Zhan, aren’t you hungry?”
Lan Zhan’s gaze dipped lower, to his chest and all the way down, and Wei Wuxian abruptly realized he was having a confrontation with his cursed friend in only his sleeping robes. The look he was given was heady. He took a shaky step back, though perhaps he shouldn’t have, as Lan Zhan followed.
“I’m sure there has been some sort of a misunderstanding,” he added, a last-ditch effort.
“You claim not to know?” the man asked, advancing slowly, carefully, like Wei Wuxian might make a run for it any moment now. “That is fine. I know.”
Perhaps he should have. Instead, his back met the wall, and Lan Zhan took the final steps to stand before him, way too close. Wei Wuxian’s chest felt tight, like the air around him had thinned.
“What – ah, ahah,” Wei Wuxian started, when Lan Zhan leaned in, raising his hand to cup his cheek.
His pulse stuttered. Lan Zhan’s hand was warm.
“Yesterday,” the man said, while pressing his thumb against Wei Wuxian’s lips, “you told me.”
His eyes were wide, his entire body frozen. Traitorously, his heart could do nothing but thump, thump, thump, furiously against his chest.
Shooting his hand up, Wei Wuxian aimed for the neck, to knock Lan Zhan out, to stop him from doing something he would hate Wei Wuxian for letting happen. That he would hate himself for doing. Lan Zhan’s hand caught his easily, slammed it and his other one over his head.
His body was so close, the heat of it overwhelming. Lan Zhan looked so cold, but his skin was fire.
He pressed his lips gently against Wei Wuxian’s ear and breathed, “I know what you need, Wei Ying.”
Wei Wuxian gasped, barely able to keep his head straight when Lan Zhan’s thigh forced his legs apart. With words like these, whispered in Lan Zhan’s deep, silky voice, how was he going to react?
“Don’t, Lan Zhan, you don’t want this!” he protested still.
Lan Zhan only hummed, and then his lips slid down to Wei Wuxian’s neck, to his pulse point, where he placed a kiss. A desperate little whine escaped from between Wei Wuxian’s lips. He had been too obvious, to have Lan Zhan do this to him.
With his touches, with the way he’d climbed into his lap. All of it, taken by the curse and directed out through Lan Zhan.
He was clearly intent on taking care of Wei Wuxian’s every need, indeed! Wei Wuxian struggled against the hold, trying not to get distracted by the feeling of Lan Zhan’s body so close against him, his lips on his skin, but the show of unwillingness only seemed to spur the man on.
“Ah – no, Lan Zhan, do you hear me? Stop,” he demanded, and yet again, his words were ignored. “Lan Zhan, Lan Wangji! You let go of me! What do you think you’re doing?!”
Lan Zhan’s lips separated from his neck with a wet sound, his cold eyes turning to meet Wei Wuxian’s with something resembling fury in them.
“Think for yourself,” the man said, “how you have been acting.”
“Fine, fine, I’m sorry! Lan Zhan, I’ve been shameless, and I apologize, but I can’t let you do this,” he insisted, barely able to focus with Lan Zhan’s thigh pressing against where his body was clearly not as disinterested in the proceedings as his mind.
The man's hand twitched where it held his wrists tightly. “You want it.”
To hear Lan Zhan say such words – how was Wei Wuxian expected to function? He drew in a shaky breath, trying to clear his head. He turned his face away, unable to meet Lan Zhan’s burning gaze. If he stopped responding – if he made himself limp like a dead fish, then perhaps –
“Is it the lack of audience?” the man asked, suddenly, his tone chilling.
The confusion was almost enough to shake the arousal. “What?”
“You enjoyed it yesterday,” Lan Zhan said. “When he watched.”
Who?
The grip on him got strong enough to become truly painful. Wei Wuxian groaned. “I don’t understand what you’re – Lan Zhan! Snap out of it, do hear me? I’ll be good, I’ll stay with you here and never mention leaving again, okay? No one’s going to visit, either! Just don’t – just let go of me, alright?”
Lan Zhan’s eyes, the glass in them, seemed to crack. It looked like anger, it looked like bitterness, it looked like all the emotions Wei Wuxian should have made sure would not appear behind them when he was cursed like this when the possibility of him qi deviating was so great –
And then Lan Zhan let go of his wrists, balling the hand into a fist before slamming it against the wall next to Wei Wuxian. The room shook, splinters from the dented wood falling on the ground. Wei Wuxian was frozen. For a second, the mist over Lan Zhan’s eyes lifted.
“Wei Ying…”
“Lan Zhan?”
Lan Zhan squeezed his eyes shut. A moment passed; the man was shivering.
When his eyes opened again, the glassy look was back. And Lan Zhan looked cold in his fury. “You would rather...you would…”
In that split of a second, Wei Wuxian’s mind whirled faster than it had in the days before. He needed to fix this before Lan Zhan did something he would regret. Before things escalated to the point of no return. He needed to cure the curse, or else they would – or else he would be using Lan Zhan in a way that was unforgivable, that he could never forgive himself for letting happen.
His heartbeat was going faster than ever before in his life. How could he have let it get to this? What kind of a friend was he? That his Lan Zhan would twist into this kind of a person, when he was the best, the kindest, the most worthy man in the world?
In his shaking heart, he could not think of anything but the desperate wish to lean on Lan Zhan, to beg for him to help. They were always the best together. Nothing in this life could win against them, when they worked together.
And yet – and yet, here they were. Wei Wuxian, completely useless, and his Lan Zhan, the only one who knew how to fix it, unable to do so.
“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan said, the tremble audible in his voice.
Only Lan Zhan could fix it.
Only Lan Zhan could fix it.
Wei Wuxian’s eyes widened, his own stupidity suddenly hitting him. How had he been so slow?! How could he have been so incredibly obtuse? The answer was glaringly obvious, standing only inches away from him!
Had he not done it once before?
His hands, free to move now that Lan Zhan’s own were shaking next to him, wrapped themselves around his neck as he pulled closer so fast Lan Zhan had no time to react.
“I’m so sorry for this,” Wei Wuxian whispered against his lips before he slammed his own onto Lan Zhan’s, distracting him with the only way he could think of at the moment.
Lan Zhan growled against his mouth before answering the kiss, pushing him against the wall with strength that made Wei Wuxian’s knees weak. He tried to focus on what he was doing, transferring the curse through the skin contact, all the while Lan Zhan’s expert mouth explored his.
They fit together so well. Lan Zhan tasted sweet, his lips slick and hot against him, and the burn in his veins could have been either for the curse or the absolute pleasure of it.
He could have forgotten himself there for an eternity, the delight of being in Lan Zhan’s arms, but it could have only been mere moments before Lan Zhan stiffened against him. The curse, transferred off of his body, allowed sense to return to his head.
Finally, stiff as a statue, Lan Zhan pulled back.
Wei Wuxian was feeling a bit hazy. Had it worked? Was the curse removed? He felt like there was a thread of thought, something he could not quite catch. He had transferred the curse. He frowned. Transferred it…? To where? No...it was removed. The curse was gone.
Lan Zhan opened his mouth, though nothing came out. In his beautiful eyes, there was a mix of emotions so deep Wei Wuxian couldn’t really discern any single one of them. Lan Zhan looked...devastated, suddenly.
Wei Wuxian attempted to lean in, which only made Lan Zhan take a sudden step back, making room between their bodies. It made Wei Wuxian feel cold. He was only in his sleeping robe, after all.
“Lan Zhan, I...” he said, though didn’t know how to continue the sentence.
Lan Zhan’s eyes slipped onto his chest, where Wei Wuxian’s skin was uncovered. The look was not heated, though. It didn’t seem like Lan Zhan was studying Wei Wuxian’s figure, but rather seeing something terrible on his skin.
It must have been the curse, some part of Wei Wuxian’s head concluded, as if through a fog. But the more he thought about it, the more confused he got. Hadn’t he just cured that? Lan Zhan had been cursed, and Wei Wuxian had cured him. There was no curse anymore.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian repeated, as the man suddenly turned around.
“Come.”
Wei Wuxian did, if a bit bewildered. He followed Lan Zhan to the main room, where the man told him to sit, while picking his guqin from its usual place on the shelf.
He turned to Wei Wuxian, who by now had sat down, watching Lan Zhan warily.
And then he played a song. No – a spell for curing a curse. With a steadfast look on his face that contrasted the clearly shivering hands, Lan Zhan played him a melody with spiritual energy. It was something obscure, a complicated series of notes. Something that sounded like it was taught only to the most skilled of the Lan, a sect secret. Musical cultivation at its finest.
After listening to it for a moment, Wei Wuxian started to realize there was something in him struggling, screeching, trying to dig its nails into his very core. It was pulled away by the music, ruthlessly.
Wei Wuxian saw only a flash of black on his chest, right before it disappeared completely.
The room was left in silence, the last note of the song hanging heavy in the air.
-
Then, Lan Zhan folded into a bow, on his knees with his forehead touching the floor. Wei Wuxian had never seen him in such a state; what little he had caught of his face had been slightly twisted, as if in pain.
“Lan Zhan, what –?”
“I apologize,” the man said, his voice quiet. “There are no words to…I do not know, how to…”
Wei Wuxian’s eyes were wide, his own words locked in his throat. As fast as the elation of curing the curse had come, it left, the fallout of the past weeks suddenly weighing on them.
No, this was not right. This was not right at all. Wei Wuxian scrambled up and rushed to Lan Zhan, pulled at him by the shoulder to get him up.
“Lan Zhan, what do you think you’re doing? Stop it!” he hissed, feeling the panic bubble inside him and the frustration of everything that had happened stinging his eyes.
Of course Lan Zhan would act nonsensically about it!
Wei Wuxian knelt next to him, and Lan Zhan, finally, lifted his upper body off the floor. He did not meet Wei Wuxian’s eyes, his face showing no emotion, stiff like carved out of stone. The guilt was so apparent it made Wei Wuxian grit his teeth.
“Don’t!” Wei Wuxian ordered. “No apologizing!”
He took Lan Zhan by the lapels and shook him, though all that accomplished was moving his robes because Lan Zhan himself was immovable.
“Wei Ying,” the man said, closing his eyes. Clearly anguished. “What I have done to you is inexcusable.”
“What have you done to me?” Wei Wuxian demanded, a bit hysterical. His whole body felt like it was trembling. “What is it, Lan Zhan? You took me to a cabin! You were cursed! You did nothing!”
“I…” Lan Zhan started. Drew in a breath.
Wei Wuxian suddenly felt like he could not listen to whatever Lan Zhan was about to say. He had been under a curse, not able to control his own actions. And Wei Wuxian – Wei Wuxian had –
He gripped the front of Lan Zhan’s robes tighter and hid his face against his chest. Lan Zhan froze.
“You can’t apologize,” Wei Wuxian said, against the soft white fabric. “You didn’t do anything because you wanted to. Lan Zhan, don’t you dare apologize!”
Lan Zhan did not reply. In his eyes, his actions must have been justified, when the curse was affecting him. Now, the thought of Lan Zhan’s guilt was too much for Wei Wuxian, to think that he could loathe himself for these things he’d done that Wei Wuxian had not found terrible because of their nature, but rather because Lan Zhan was deep down unwilling.
To be taken care of, to be protected, to be loved, all by Lan Zhan – and the only thing lacking had been Lan Zhan’s free will.
Still, he knew he could not keep this inside, if only to erase any doubt from Lan Zhan of his own culpability. He did not deserve to feel guilt for something Wei Wuxian had enjoyed.
“I liked it,” he confessed, the words rasped out. “I liked it, I liked everything that you did to me! I liked it when you took care of me and I liked it when you held me and I liked it when you paraded me around the inn with your hands on me like I was yours. I liked it and I’m so sorry, Lan Zhan, I’m so sorry.”
“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan breathed.
“So you can’t apologize,” Wei Wuxian insisted. “You can’t, because it’s me who should.”
There was a second of silence. Then, “No.”
“What do you mean, ‘no’? Lan Zhan, I –“
“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan cut in. “These things I did...these impulses. They came from me.”
“But you would never have done those things without the curse,” Wei Wuxian argued, heated enough to look up at Lan Zhan.
“No,” the man said again, and there was a desperate, open look in his eyes. “Only if you wanted to. But those wishes were still in me.”
Wei Wuxian’s heart ached. “To...take care of me?”
“Yes.”
“To keep me safe?”
Lan Zhan nodded.
Wei Wuxian swallowed, gaze sliding down to Lan Zhan’s lips. “To…give me what I want?”
Lan Zhan’s voice sounded hoarse. “I would not presume.”
Of course Lan Zhan wouldn’t presume. Wei Wuxian had been all but throwing himself at him for so long, and he’d done nothing, and said nothing. It wasn’t like Wei Wuxian had done it purposely, either, but that was what he’d been doing anyway, wasn’t it?
“But you thought so,” Wei Wuxian said. “Because...because I was being so obvious.”
The touches, the smiles, the constant teasing. He’d known Lan Zhan was the best person, someone he liked to be around the most. Even if Lan Zhan had never reciprocated, he would have still thought so.
But he had. Kind of. Only, under a curse.
They stared at each other for a long moment, and then Wei Wuxian groaned. “Lan Zhan, say something, would you?”
“I locked you up,” the man said, completely unreasonably.
“Because of a curse!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed. “Would you do that now?”
The response was immediate, almost panicked, “No!”
“Then what’s the problem?” Wei Wuxian asked. “Lan Zhan, you were compromised! You had your reason all cut off! I’m sure if you weren’t cursed you wouldn’t have done any of it! I would keep flirting with you unsuccessfully and you would, I don’t know, ignore your uncle being mean to me because I broke the rules.”
“Not unsuccessfully,” Lan Zhan denied.
“What?” It took him a split of a second to realized what Lan Zhan meant. Then, redness spread over his face. “Ah. Um, Lan Zhan, I…”
The man was studying him with the same open look again, like he was only one word away from bowing again. As if it had been his fault – as if Wei Wuxian would hold him accountable.
He had to clear the possible misunderstanding, too.
“I like you so much, so you can’t go around thinking it’s only about the physical stuff,” he said. The kiss was fresh on his mind, how Lan Zhan had responded before and after the curse was transferred.
“Wei Ying?”
“I might be in love with you,” Wei Wuxian confessed, again pressing his head back against Lan Zhan’s chest. Then, another bout of courage overcame him. “No, I definitely am. I said it like that to have plausible deniability if you reject me, but Lan Zhan, I like you too much to lie. Please be gentle with my heart, alright?”
The silence that stretched was painful in its anticipation this time, though the beat of Lan Zhan’s heart seemed to have doubled in its speed. Wei Wuxian held him tighter.
“Wei Ying,” the man said finally, frailly, and wrapped his arms around Wei Wuxian, drawing him impossibly closer. “I love you.”
The tension eased. Inside Lan Zhan’s arms was truly the safest place to be.
“Ah, thank heavens,” Wei Wuxian muttered. He turned his face sideways, looking up at the unfairly handsome Hanguang-jun. Even from this angle, he was beautiful. “I mean, I thought so. I’m very lovable, aren’t I?”
A hint of a smile spread on Lan Zhan’s face. “Mn.”
Wei Wuxian was surely going to perish.
He protested weakly, “Lan Zhan, stop it, you flatterer. How can you flirt like this? I’m going to die, is that what you want? Do you want me to die so soon after we’re done with this curse nonsense?”
Lan Zhan placed a kiss on his cheek, tentative. It left Wei Wuxian barely able to function. Such gentleness, after the rough treatment from earlier. In Lan Zhan’s trembling arms – the relief of the reciprocation mixed with the deep-rooted guilt, the exhaustion of such tense few days.
How could Wei Wuxian ever convince this man he wouldn’t need to be forgiven, because there was truly nothing to forgive?
Instead of trying to talk him around, Wei Wuxian leaned on the act. “Is this why you think I can’t take care of myself? Because I’m so weak against these terrible attacks?”
“You can,” Lan Zhan protested. “The fear was irrational.”
While saying this, he rubbed Wei Wuxian’s back comfortingly.
“There you go,” Wei Wuxian said. “You got yourself a good and capable man! What a lucky man you are, Hanguang-jun.”
“Mn.”
Wei Wuxian burrowed deeper into his arms and whined, “Didn’t I tell you to stop flirting, ah?”
Lan Zhan lifted his head up by the chin. Another kiss, closer to his lips now. Uncertain. Wei Wuxian couldn’t deny himself the delight of a full kiss, so he moved his face and slotted their mouths together. This kiss, while lacking the fervor of their first one – the angry, cursed one – was perfect in every other way.
He breathed in deeply after they parted. “We should go back to the Cloud Recesses. Make sure there are no after effects, and that the curse is fully gone. Can you imagine the utter destruction if we let the Yiling Patriarch run fully on impulses and no sanity?”
“Mn,” Lan Zhan said. Then, “Wei Ying…”
“I know we’re not done,” Wei Wuxian cut in. “I know...I know we need to discuss it. But you must understand that despite everything – the most terrible thing in these past days for me has been the thought of not curing you. Everything else was…”
Letting out a breath against Wei Wuxian’s hair, Lan Wangji nodded. Even in this, his Hanguang-jun was compassionate.
They stayed like that for a while after. It wasn’t like Wei Wuxian thought they had reached a true understanding; likely, Lan Zhan would bear the heavy feeling of guilt for a while after. But somehow, with them both there, without any curses to twist their emotions, Wei Wuxian was sure they would be alright.
-