Chapter Text
“I already gave you the last chance, San. It’s not up to me anymore” Coach Kim said while taking a tired breath.
San doesn’t think it’s fair. He gives everything he has to that godforsaken team just to be treated like this? Again?
“It’s not serious, Coach. It’s just another semester, why they can’t give me a fucking break?”
“That’s the thing, San. They already gave you a break last semester and you failed. If you fail another one, you’re out of the team, buddy. I’m sorry” The coach said again and San knew it was a waste of time to try and fight it.
The things is: San is their star player.
He’s not being cocky or self centered or blah blah blah, it is what it is. He gave them the last championship, he secured them a place in quarter finals this year and he had been carrying that team on his shoulders for two years now.
It was not his first choice to be team captain when he started college, of course. He wasn’t even that into football. But he was good, he knew that. And the Coach saw it too. And in the little time they had to develop his skills, he became the best. He was acing it on every game; all eyes were on him, in and out of the field. So of course he was valuable. He managed to get away with things most people didn’t. He couldn’t have a bad record because it was bad for business, people didn’t want players who their kids on the bleachers couldn’t look up to. And he had his name on sports news papers for being good, not for being the kid who ran away when a drunk kid fell on his face and needed a fucking facial reconstruction after a team after party. He couldn’t be involved with this shit.
And he wasn’t. He tried to keep it down and was decent at that. He liked everything that being Captain granted him.
It gave him popularity, first of all. And he likes being popular. He likes how everyone on campus knew him. He likes how everywhere he goes someone says hi or gives him a salute or greets him like they’re friends. Because he is friendly with everyone, ‘cause they fucking adore him.
It gave him his friends and their respect. He also likes that. The team it’s not big, twenty or so of them, to be honest. They don’t have that much backup players to count on. So he knew all of his mates. And he had his favorites of course. Jongho, Yunho and Seonghwa are his boys and had his back in and out of the field.
He also has Arin. Sweet, soft spoken, polite Arin. His girlfriend. They’re the it couple. Everyone wants to see them, being seen with them or be them. It was normal at this point. He was used to it. They knew how to keep people entertained and still find time for each other.
His life was perfect, really. He had not one single thing to complain about.
Until the motherfucking dean started to pay more attention to him that he should.
San had better things to do, okay? He had practice every single day, and he needed to go to the gym. He also needed to do things for his college. He was their face, anyway. So he did voluntary work once a month with the team, he was active on social media because people liked to engage with his life. And he also needed to live said life, no? So he goes out with his friends, has a lot of sex with his girlfriend and parties a lot. He also pays attention to class once or twice.
They should cut him a slack! He does that for them, for the sake of their pride! What if he’s not doing that good on classes? It’s their fucking obligation to cover for him. If he wasn’t around being the best thing that ever happened to the mother fucking college, he would be worried about grades.
But, no! They let him fail two subjects last semester just for the sake of it. San was pissed at first, of course. They were just piling things up on him. Besides his current workload, he had to retake the ones he failed. Of course it was too much, he couldn’t handle with what he was learning, let alone with what he already knew he wasn’t good at.
But dean Oh just had to be a piece of shit, didn’t he? The coach called him in to give him an ultimatum. He was about to fail four subjects this semester: the ones he was retaking – of fucking course – and another two he had no recollection of ever studying. And if that happens, he’ll be cut off the team.
Choi San, ace, captain, man of the match every fucking match, out of the team.
That was bullshit.
+
“I think you should take a break” Hongjoong said while looking at him with that hard expression, like he was scolding him.
But Wooyoung couldn’t just “take a break”. That’s not how things worked for him.
The thing is: Wooyoung can’t count on anyone but himself.
Of course he would not be an asshole and say he doesn’t have anyone by his side, of course he has. Hongjoong and Yeosang are the best friends he could ever ask for. But that’s where the similarities end.
Wooyoung it’s nothing like his friends. And it’s not like he’s jealous, no! That’s far from it. He loves and is absolutely proud of them and everything they achieve.
Hongjoong is an artist. Wooyoung knew it was a matter of time until his name would be displayed all over the world, be it because of the clothes he designs, the paints he makes or the music he does. Hongjoong is an ace. You ask? He can do it.
Yeosang is also on a league of his own. He wasn’t just pretty. He was breathtaking. Everything on him was in the right shape, the right size and proportion. He could put his face on a rock and convince people to buy it just by looking at him. He had his face in just about every ad you’ve seen on the internet. Shampoo, ramyeon, arm floats for babies, dog snacks. He has his face out there and that’s an achievement.
Wooyoung can’t count on any of that. He’s not pretty enough to be a model or talented enough to be an artist. He’s pretty average if you ask him. But he’s smart. So he tries to be smarter every day so he could land something in life that he would be proud of like his friends are. And he wasn’t a material person, a monster raised by capitalism, but he wouldn’t be anyone without money so that’s what his life goal is. Study hard to have a good, stable job and have a whole lot of fucking money to not worry about being pretty or an artist. Rich people could be whatever they fucking wanted anyways.
And honestly, Hongjoong was over reacting. It’s not like he doesn’t take breaks. He does every couple of hours of studying hours – it’s not a problem if studying hours don’t end with classes, of course.
Wooyoung is studying to be a lawyer. And judging by the way his grades are, he’s going to be a good one at that.
Wooyoung didn’t always want to be a lawyer though, not even a doctor or an astronaut. He wanted to be an idol. The one’s you see on TV singing and dancing, who have millions of fans and a whole lot of money too. It was his dream job. And he tried it. He trained for years under an entertainment company and shared blood, sweat and tears to try and debut. But he didn’t. And after three years of trying just to be told that he wasn’t ready yet, he gave it up. He would never be ready, never be good enough. Every year, better kids arrived. Prettier than him, better at singing, better at dancing. Some more charismatic than him, some less. He knew his window frame was getting smaller and by the time they would decide to ditch him, he wouldn’t have any backup plan. So he ditched them first and redirected all of his dreams to the one thing he could still achieve. The whole lot of money part.
And he would make it, he knew that. He learned that being a lawyer was almost like being an actor. To be a decent lawyer, he needed people to believe him. And he knew just how convincing he could be, so that’s a bonus. He wasn’t shy, he knew his way around people even if he didn’t want much of them around most of the time. And he knew he needed to be flexible too. He understood that, at least at the beginning, he may have to let go of a few principles to hit it big. Sometimes success and morale weren’t seeing eye to eye. Wooyoung wasn’t stupid, though. He already knew he would not be advocating for like, the bad guys or something. But sometimes rich people did rich people things and if didn’t harm anyone personally, he would be okay with everything. Tax evasion, for example. It was bad for the country? Yes. Bad for the people in the long run? Yes. But was someone dead because of it? Probably not, so fuck it. He would help a rich guy get out of evading taxes forever if it made him sleep at night with all the bills paid.
But honestly, that was something for him to worry in the future. For all that to happen, he needed to graduate first. And he still has a few years down the road until that event. But he was making every step up that leader worth it. He was aiming to graduate with fucking honors. And Wooyoung was proud to say that he would make it because he deserved it, he wasn’t licking anyone’s boots to be recognized.
Wooyoung knew how things worked here. If you wanted something, you had two ways of getting it: by working your ass off until you make it or by sucking up to someone who could help you achieve it faster and easier. And he wasn’t a suck up, he was sure of that. So every time he had his name on top of class, or he was invited for a presentation, or when a teacher gave him just a tad bit more of advice they did for everyone else? He deserved it.
He was not like Choi San, for example.
He was not one to judge, he knows everyone has its own worth. Just like he wouldn’t want people thinking less of Hongjoong for being an artist, he didn’t think anyone should think less of Choi San for being an athlete. Not that anyone would, of course.
It was obvious Choi San wasn’t a suck up. People sucked up to him. Wooyoung had even seen teachers looking at him with dreamy eyes. He got the appeal, really. But it didn’t made less stupid and unfair that Choi San had it faster and easier just because he was kicking a ball into a net.
The guy was not even trying, really. People chose to make him a god and of course he wasn’t stupid to say no. Wooyoung wouldn’t be able to judge if he deserved the attention or not, he knew close to nothing about the guy or the skills he possessed. But people thought it was good enough so he was reaping the joys of being a person with a coordinated pair of legs or whatever.
He had no idea what San did with his life and time, but every time he saw glimpses of him, he was with his own personal harem. There wasn’t one time that Wooyoung had seen him – from afar – that he wasn’t with a horde of people at his feet. He was tired just by looking at it. And of fucking course he was always parading Arin by his side. It kind of made Wooyoung sick on his stomach.
San and Arin were the image of a perfect couple. Wooyoung heard uncountable gossips about them. A lot of speculations about when they would broke up, or who cheated on who and the whole he said she said that seemed to never end. But even so he never saw them falter in front of people. Wooyoung had talked to Arin a couple times. She was sweet, a lovable girl that was easy to talk to. Wooyoung liked Arin. So he thinks she deserves more than being parade around like a trophy wifey by a college guy. Not that Arin seemed to mind, of course. It seemed like the showing off was mutual, actually. If San paraded her around, she was more than sure to let everyone remember who she was parading right back. It seemed like it was a good profit for both of them.
Or they could be disgustingly in love, about to have a house, three kids and dog. Wooyoung wouldn’t know.
Wooyoung wasn’t an artist, a model, a suck up or someone worth to be sucked up to. He needed to push his way around. If he had less time to find someone to parade around, that was his problem.
-
The break Hongjoong was talking about came a few hours later in the form of dean Oh Sehun.
It’s not normal to see Oh Sehun out and about around the campus. Probably because he is really busy. With what Wooyoung wouldn’t know, but being a dean must require a lot of phone calls to make and emails to send. So when the taller man approached him in one of the benches by himself and sat in front of Wooyoung, his heart rate sky rocketed.
Something was about to happen. Really good or really bad. Wooyoung wasn’t sure of how to feel.
Sehun offered him a polite smile as they made eye contact.
Wooyoung was somewhat familiar with Sehun. It was not a common occurrence for the dean to speak one on one with students, but Wooyoung had been to his office two times now.
The first one was when his first year ended and he was rewarded with a plaque and a medal for being the best student of the class for the whole year, never leaving the first place. He had no idea they still kept that in account in college. He thought things like class president and model student ended with high school.
The second was when he aced a debate against another college. It earned him another medal and a name on a congratulatory plaque on the corridors. He didn’t know how to feel about that one but it probably wasn’t important. Just the first of the uncountable debates he planned to have in life.
So Wooyoung was familiar with Sehun. He was way less scary when he was outside the office without the black leather chair and mahogany desk that gave him an unapproachable aura. Here he looked almost normal.
“How are you today, Wooyoung?” Sehun asked in a casual tone.
Wooyoung was a bit off put. Why was the dean making small talk with him? “I’m ok, Mr. Oh. Got tired of the air conditioner and came to breathe some fresh air?”
“Oh, I’m always tired of the air conditioner, kid” He said with a smile that made him look tired and old. “But I actually came to talk to you. I thought that we could talk better out here. The office is too serious”
Ok, so he wanted to talk. Wooyoung racked his mind for a reason why that conversation was happening but he couldn’t remember anything worth a private conversation with Oh Sehun.
“Is there something I can help you with, Mr. Oh?” Wooyoung asked kind of puzzled.
“That’s what I’m hoping for, Wooyoung” Sehun said before putting his elbows on the table that was dividing them. He crossed his hands and the serious look was back on his face. “You’re one of the best students that we have. Academically speaking, you’re already achieving great things at such a young age. A few awards may look like just a bunch of paper but they work wonders for you GPA, Wooyoung. I really hope for you to just grow from there. You have a long way to go but everyone here is excited and more than ready to guide and help you through every step of the way” Sehun started slowly.
It was a weird way to start a conversation. The dean was throwing him compliments out of the blue in the middle of the day while sitting on a dirty bench. He must be desperate.
“Everyone here is insanely proud of you, I hope you know that. And we also have other students that we hope to see developing to their own full potentials soon. Even if in a different field, of course” Wooyoung nodded and said a little hum, just to let Sehun understand that he was following, even though he wasn’t so sure what the dean wanted to achieve with that talk. “There a lot of things that we have here to be proud of. We’re proud of our teaching methods, of the students that we shaped here and also the ones that will be shaped. Like yourself.” Sehun gave him another smile but Wooyoung was a little creepy out this time.
“There are also students and sides of our institution that we hope to develop not only academically, of course. I take that you know how well our football team is making this past year and a half?” Wooyoung nodded and Sehun continued. “Great! So you must know our captain, Choi San?” Sehun asked and Wooyoung fought really hard against an eye roll.
Our captain my ass.
“I’ve seen him around, yes” Wooyoung said and kept his tone as polite as he could. He wasn’t a fan of the turn of this conversation.
“Wonderful! You see, just like yourself, Choi San is also a very valuable asset to our University. You both exceed in your own areas and help spread our name around and that’s more than we could’ve asked for” Sehun said and now Wooyoung was annoyed. He just got compared to Choi San. “That being said, we’re having a few problems regarding San”
That peaked Wooyoung’s interest. So golden boy was in trouble?
“That’s really unfortunate, Mr. Oh. But why are you telling me this?” Wooyoung made it look like he wasn’t the tiniest bit interest in the troubles arising on paradise.
“The problems we’re having with San are ones that I was hoping you could help him with” Sehun said and Wooyoung frowned. The dean realized his confusion and was fast to explain what that whole beating around the bush finally was. “Last semester San failed a few subjects. He was given a chance to retake them this semester, but instead of focusing on them, he’s failing again and also another two subjects from this semester course”
Wooyoung wanted to feign surprise but it was a hard feature.
Wooyoung had no idea what San’s major was but they’ve shared a few classes; One this semester and one on the last. But every time he deemed the class worthy of his mighty presence, he was only there physically, his mind obviously far away. So Wooyoung wasn’t surprised that he wasn’t exceeding. Nor did he care about it.
“While I know that none of this concerns you, Wooyoung, I came here with a request that I really hope you won’t deny”
Wooyoung knew what he was about to say. It was kind of obvious now.
“Finals are in one and half months. After that, our team has a really important game. It’s a game that will decide our future on the championship. San won’t be allowed to play if he doesn’t pass the finals” Sehun said like that was the biggest crisis he had ever faced. “I know you have a tight schedule, but I was really hoping you could help him through this. I know you have your own subjects to study and you’re not even on the same major, you’re doing law and San is doing journalism, but you have a few shared subjects and I know you’d do wonders if you could tutor him for the finals. I’m in no way asking you to jeopardize your studies or to prioritize someone else’s education other than your own, please don’t get me wrong. But you would still be able to study and help not just San, but the whole team in the process” Sehun finished and looked more tired than when he arrived.
Wooyoung would say no. He wouldn’t teach Choi San.
“Of course, it wouldn’t be for free” Sehun said and that was when Wooyoung became involved in the conversation. “We have a tutoring fee that will be provided to you. 500,000.00 won per week, 3 days a week. Feel free to work around both your schedules to find the best time for it” Sehun finished and looked at Wooyoung expectantly.
He would so be teaching Choi San.
-
It wasn’t even five minutes after Mr. Oh had left that Hongjoong and Yeosang came stumbling next to him, seemingly out of breath. The questions started even before they sat down.
“Are you in trouble?” Hongjoong asked almost in a whisper.
“What did you do?” Yeosang asked with a wary expression.
“The faith you guys have on me is outstanding” Wooyoung said sarcastically. “You really think if it was something bad he would come in here and not make me drag my sorry ass all the way to his office?” Wooyoung rolled his eyes and his friends hummed in agreement. “He wanted a favor” He completed, with a shrug.
“What favor?” Yeosang asked.
“Well, apparently Choi San is a moron” Wooyoung said with a sigh. “He’s failing a few classes and if he doesn’t do well in the finals they will kick him out of the team” He said and heard his friends gasping in shock. “I know, right? I was so surprised that they actually had the guts to threaten the golden boy”.
“And what does that have to do with you?” Hongjoong asked. Wooyoung was still asking himself that, actually.
“They need me to make him less of moron, I think. I’ll be tutoring him for the next month.” Wooyoung answered and Yeosang gave a sarcastic laugh.
“You don’t have the patience to tutor anyone” He said as a matter of fact. And he wasn’t wrong.
Wooyoung wasn’t a calm and peaceful person. Of course people other than his friends would think of him as a hermit or something since his social battery always seemed to die when it came to interact with people outside of his social circle – that extended as far as Hongjoong and Yeosang. But when he was comfortable and not extremely busy to have contact with other human beings, he was extremely loud and loved attention. But since he discovered that those were actually self destructive traits of his personality, he decided to focus all that energy that he had on his studies. And he was doing great thus far.
“For 500,000.00 won, yes I do” Wooyoung said confidently.
“They paying you?” Yeosang said in disbelief.
“Of course! You think I’d be subjecting myself to Choi San three times a week for free?”
Wooyoung knew he was overacting a bit with the dislike towards the athlete. He had nothing against him, honestly. He just also happens to have nothing on his favor.
Thinking about spending time with Choi San was just as weird as he thought it was. There was really nothing that he could try and say to convince himself that it wouldn’t be the most awkward experience of his life.
“Well, you better prepare yourself then, my friend. If they came to you of all people to cry for help, then our captain is indeed a handful”. Hongjoong said while opening a pack of gummy bears and popping one in his mouth.
Wooyoung hadn’t stopped to consider that. If San wasn’t 100% on board, he was sure that nothing he could come up with would be helpful. He had experienced first hand how hard it was to do something when your mind is somewhere else, everybody has. But Choi San’s mind seemed to be away most of the times.
“Do you think he’s stupid?” Yeosang said in such a honey voice that one would think he hadn’t just offended someone.
“Let’s try to not stereotype him because he’s an athlete, please” Hongjoong said.
“Oh please, I know a lot of athletes who are brilliant. Jongho, for example” Yeosang said and Wooyoung exchanged a look with Hongjoong trying not to laugh. Yeosang and his Jongho agenda would never not be funny. “But you know what I’m talking about. We’ve all seen him. He’s just so...” Yeosang let it hanging in the air.
“Stupid” Wooyoung completed.
He was not a prejudiced person, he hoped. But Choi San's entire personality was one of a dumb jock. Of course there could be a lot hidden in beneath all the muscles, the parties and the bad jokes Wooyoung overhead once or twice, but Choi San leaves nothing for imagination. Everyone that took a look on him surrounded by his friends on the lunch table would say that that brain was made of foam.
“Well, at the end of the day he’s still a captain. No one does that by being completely incompetent. If he’s smart enough to lead a team, then I won’t have any problems to make him fall in love with Karl fucking Marx” Wooyoung said confidently.
+
Choi San was adamant on saying no.
First of all, he didn’t need a tutor. He could pass those fucking exams on his own if he wanted to without a smartass, four eyed kid pissing him off.
Second, it’s not like he has the time for it.
Mr. Oh told him about the deal he made with some Jung Wooyoung – who San had no recollection of ever meeting – to help him with his grades. Something that wouldn’t even be necessary if Mr. Oh himself had been less of an asshole and started to take account of San’s grade. San knew he was lacking as a student, he wasn’t stupid. But he would make up for it when the things with the team became less urgent. They were just a few games apart from the finals and another championship, for the love of God!
And he knew the dean wanted that as much as he did. That’s why he couldn’t understand why they were threatening him on the first place. They knew he needed to be on the field to make them win – not that he was bragging of course, but he was the captain. Even if not actively playing, he was the backbone of that team. So why go to such lengths if they all were looking towards the same goal?
“Maybe they want you to be more responsible” Jongho offered and San rolled his eyes.
“I have a whole team to be responsible for. What else could they want from me?” San said and sighed, taking a sip of his Americano. “I can see on Mr. Oh’s eyes that he’s worried about the game. Why can’t he wait for the season to be over and then be on my ass about grades? It would be so much simple”
“You know he doesn’t work alone, right? There’s a whole bunch of people who are above him in making decisions. Maybe he’s just as frustrated as you are” Yunho said and San almost pouted.
“Just go for it. It’ll probably be much easier with someone helping, anyway” Jongho said.
“Of course not!” San said adamantly. “I have my pride to protect”
“What does pride have to do with all this?” Seonghwa said for the first time since they sat down for lunch.
“I won’t subject myself to a know it all! He’ll probably be less helpful than if I was working with my cat” His cat was definitely way too smart.
“You don’t even know the kid” Seonghwa said again while rolling his eyes.
And that was what put San off. Even the weird kids, the ones who still had that fresh of high school aura, the ones who were on the shy side, they still talked to him. Even if it was awkward most of the times and they fumbled with their words, almost like when meeting a celebrity, they acknowledge San so in exchange, San acknowledge them right back. The populars, the not so populars. The stupid, the nerds. Every niche of social circles San knew at least one person. But he had no idea who Jung Wooyoung was.
He had seen the name around, of course. It was on the fucking walls for some reason. But he couldn’t remember the face. Which could only mean that Wooyoung never talked to him. San needed to be a social butterfly if he wanted to be exactly who he was so of course sometimes he forgot people. But Wooyoung seemed to be someone. And everyone who was someone here was worth remembering. But it seems like that one specifically had never given two fucks about him.
“And he doesn’t seem to know me, either. I can already picture it. A weird kid who thinks too highly of himself to ever sustain the idea of attending a game, much less of mingling with jocks” San said with disdain.
“There’s 70% chance of you being wrong” Jongho said.
“That’s still a 30% chance of being right, though” San bit back.
“Well, you need to take one for the team, captain” Seonghwa said after sipping his drink. “If it’s really that bad, you can always ditch”
San knew he was not a quitter. And if someone was about to leave that arrangement of them, he would make sure to show Jung Wooyoung the exit.
Chapter Text
Wooyoung remembers pretty well Oh Sehun’s words for him last week.
Feel free to work around your schedules to do it.
Wooyoung has a packed scheduled. He was lucky enough that he didn’t need to work part time to survive and could focus 100% on his studies, but it was still tight. He had a lot of reading to do, and with finals coming up, a lot of things to revise. It wasn’t exactly peachy to find time in his already short day to insert a whole hour of Choi San. But he managed. He found a slot in every single day of the week to accommodate their meetings and hoped to find one in common with San. But for that to work, he needed to talk with Choi San. And he hadn’t.
Wooyoung was being a bit stubborn, of course. He knew his way around the campus and the football field was incredibly hard to miss. He knew he would find Choi San there, obviously. But who was the one needing help, anyways?
Sehun had talked to him that San was already aware of their meetings and they should start as soon as possible, but he hadn’t caught a glimpse of Choi San yet. And Wooyoung sure as hell would not be chasing after him for something that wasn’t even his concern. He wanted the money? Yes! But if San was being uncooperative from the start, he knew things would not be as smooth as he hoped they would.
It’s been eight days since his talk with Sehun. Wooyoung shared one class with San and was hoping that the latter would approach him then, but he hadn’t appeared. Not that it was uncommon, of course, but Wooyoung was a bit pissed that it was being delayed.
While having lunch with his friends, Yeosang brought up the topic.
“San still didn’t contact you?” Wooyoung denied with his head while inhaling his spicy ramyeon. “You sure he knows he needs to talk to you, though? Jongho didn’t mention anything”
Yeosang and Jongho friendship was something Wooyoung would never really get used to. They were completely opposites and yet, Yeosang’s smile couldn’t be brighter while talking about his “friend” – Wooyoung still wasn’t sure why Yeosang was trying to hide the gigantic crush from them.
“He’s aware” Wooyoung said after gulping his food down. “And it just makes him even more pathetic, honestly. If he doesn’t want help, then why did he agree to it?”
“Maybe he didn’t have a choice” Hongjoong said.
“Of course he does. He can pass or leave the team, it’s not that hard” Yeosang said.
“Seems like the team doesn’t matter that much to him, then” Wooyoung said nastily before hearing a forced cough from behind him.
Wooyoung, Yeosang and Hongjoong were sitting side by side on the bench, hence why none of them saw as two other figures approached from behind them amidst their conversation. Whipping his head back to look for where the sound came from, Wooyoung found himself the closer he ever had been to Choi San.
He may be bratty and a trashmouth, but Wooyoung wasn’t blind. Choi San was a whole event.
All the way from his smooth black hair, high cheekbones and sculpted nose, going to his wide shoulders down to his narrow, small waist, Wooyoung wouldn’t go as far as imagine that man wet after practice, of course, but that would be a walking wet dream ready to happen. But he wasn’t doing that, of course. He was professional. And if he had a suspicion that San just heard as he badmouthed him that was another story.
“Yes?” Wooyoung said while eyeing him from head to toe. He knew he would look judgmental, but Choi San wasn’t exactly sporting a smiley face.
“Jung Wooyoung, right?” He said and Wooyoung noticed the defensive tone. He stood up and saw that San had one or two centimeters on him. Wooyoung nodded and crossed his arms in front of his chest when he saw that San wasn’t doing any movements for a more formal greeting. “Mr. Oh said to talk to you about the finals” He said without looking Wooyoung in the eyes.
“I thought you had forgotten” Wooyoung said, just to be a little asshole.
“I had a busy week” San said as a matter of fact.
“Have you sorted out your scheduled now? We need to meet three times a week” Wooyoung said and San looked at him with big eyes.
“Three times? That’s not possible” The athlete retorted with a shake of his head.
“Look, I don’t make the rules. That’s what Mr. Oh told me. If it doesn’t work for you, go talk to him” Wooyoung said and was about to sit down again. Before he could do that, Choi Jongho asked for his attention.
“How long do you think those classes are going to take, hyung?” Jongho asked looking at Wooyoung’s eyes and he swooned a little bit. He was adorable with his brow furrowed in concentration and so polite. Yeosang had taste, it seems.
“One hour each day. I’m available from 6 to 7pm. I think it’s the easiest way to fit hour schedules, right?” Wooyoung said looking back at San. He seemed displeased, but not so adamant anymore.
“Just one hour it’s okay, right captain? It won’t interfere with the training or anything” Jongho said. Wooyoung wasn’t sure if he was there for moral support or peer pressure.
“Can you give me your number? We can text the rest of the details” San said to Wooyoung.
After jutting down the numbers on his phone, San mumbled an “I’ll text you later” and left with Jongho. Wooyoung let out a sigh and threw himself back on the bench.
“Seems friendly” Hongjoong said sarcastic.
“He was so embarrassed” Yeosang said while munching on a chocolate bar.
“Why though? He has absolutely no reason” Wooyoung said puzzled.
It was a bit obvious that San rather be anywhere at that moment. But Wooyoung couldn’t really understand why. Tutoring was one of the most common things in his life. He was tutored before and had helped a few class mates himself. He didn’t see a reason for it.
“Because he’s the star; the all rounder. Probably hurts his alpha male ego or something” Yeosang shrugged.
“His ego is bruised because he needs help studying? That’s ridiculous”
“It’s probably because he’ll be kicked out if he fails. You’re his lifeline” Hongjoong said.
Lifeline was such a weird term to connect him and Choi San of all people.
“Well, then he better hurry, ‘cause his clock is ticking fast”
+
Three whole days of Jung Wooyoung.
Of course the kid was less weird than he expected. Your normal college guy, you could say. But San could still feel the judgment coming from him. The feeling of being subjected to spend even ten minutes with the excrutinising face Wooyoung made when he first saw him already gave San a headache.
The thing is: Choi San is a gentleman.
He hates fight and it’s not an asshole if the situation doesn’t ask for it. You’d never see him being disrespectful or making fun of someone else just for the sake of it – safe for his friends. He makes fun of them on a daily basis – and that’s why people liked him. Because he’s sure to be likable. So Jung Wooyoung judgmental face pissed him off. His passive aggressive attitude put San in an instant bad mood.
“You sure you’re not upset because he didn’t suck your balls?” Seonghwa said amused and San rolled his eyes.
If he knew someone who could be a diva and have a problem with not being adored, that was Park Seonghwa for you. It’s not like he’s wrong, though. If there’s a person out there who knows Seonghwa and don’t have a soft spot for him, that person is probably dead inside.
“He’s exactly like I pictured him; a judgmental piece of shit. You heard what he was saying when we arrived!” San exclaimed to Jongho, who was busy picking at his nails. “I don’t care that much for the team, my ass!” San huffed.
“Prove him wrong then” Yunho said.
“I don’t need to prove him shit” San scorned.
“Then why is bothering you so much?” Seonghwa asked.
The million dollar question. San was aware that even though people liked him, there was the fair share of people who couldn’t give a shit. But he knew it wasn’t because of him, they just couldn’t care less about sports to save their lives. And he had zero problems with that. Everyone was minding their own business and life was lived that way.
But Jung Wooyoung was different for some reason. It was okay that he’s one of those people who couldn’t bother to know the difference between a foul and a penalty, but it pissed San off the way he seemed to look at him with such superiority. San knew that it would be a problem.
San had his fair share of arrogant assholes throughout his life, it wasn’t news for him. But in the few days he had to get to know Wooyoung, he thought his eyes would be permanently glued at the back of his head with just how much he rolled them.
Wooyoung was definitely something. San took his time to look at him from afar ever since Sehun informed him of their plan. He was a brainiac, always with his face buried in a book every time San had his eyes own him – and San had looked at lot. 8 days of lurking around to see if he could tolerate the other boy’s presence.
It was difficult for San to find a connection between Wooyoung and the real world. He was always trapped inside his own little bubble, his two friends and uncountable paper sheets as his companions. With such a small social circle, it was hard to get to know him. Wooyoung wasn’t a people’s person, it seems. San saw him talk with the amount of four people – aside from his friends – in the eight days before they properly met. He wasn’t active on social media either. He found Jung Wooyoung’s instagram account but it was private and none of his friends followed him as well.
He was low key, San realized. He didn’t like to be seen but when he does, he likes it to be impactful.
San shared a few classes with him and made sure to sit away from his usual seat, with a cap and face mask on so Wooyoung couldn’t see him and watched him for the whole duration of class. He was taking notes, making questions, creating a debate every time it was possible. He was assertive with his arguments and had a stable, proud voice every time he talked. The professor seemed to bask in the attention as well, always engaging him. It seemed like no one else cared, but San was a bit intrigued. The guy was a good speaker, he could draw people attention. But he seemed to shy away from it when it wasn’t necessary – and that would be right after classes ended.
Wooyoung liked attention, San could feel it. But it was almost like he was consciously denying and making himself scarce of it. It was weird for someone like San, who could not bear the thought of being left alone for more than necessary. And that made him a bit mad with the other guy, and he couldn’t really understand why.
Wooyoung seemed to have the whole package. He could deliver what people wanted from him; he could make them want him to deliver even more. He had that aura when he was on his element, be it on classes, or speaking with his friends – that was when San saw him loosing up a bit, smiling and showing expressions that were not a bit robotic, like he did with everybody else. But Wooyoung seemed to bury that part of him every time his friends were not around. In the interactions that San managed to see from Wooyoung with other people, it was almost like he was treating it like a job deal. He had his perfect student face on, nodding his head when needed to let people know he was giving them his attention and almost left a relieved sigh when whoever was hogging his time finally left.
And San thought everything was completely fake. The persona he put on with other people was too hard of character to maintain when he could see a little bit of the real kid that came to life when he was comfortable. So San couldn’t really understand him. When he finally met Wooyoung face to face and was treated just like every other business deal conversation Wooyoung had, he was more than uncomfortable.
If there was one thing that San despised was being looked down upon. And that’s Wooyoung’s whole persona default mode. He treated everyone else like a waste of his time and San was surprised that people who interacted with him couldn’t notice that he would rather be anywhere but in their vicinity. That’s why he can’t see to deem Wooyoung as nothing more than an arrogant piece of shit. Having a taste of that scorn look direct at him was a blow he thought he was okay with, but wasn’t.
“It’s just a month, hyung. When you realize it, he’ll be already gone” Jongho said with a cheerful voice.
And that was all that San could hope for.
+
Wooyoung received San’s first message around 10pm. He was almost done for the day when he heard his notification sound going off somewhere on his bedside table.
Wooyoung it’s never someone who you’ll expect to respond your messages within two minutes. He’s always busy with something so he doesn’t have the time to scroll around on his phone all day long, let alone to actually engage in conversation online. His friends were more than used to being ghosted for the whole day. After finishing his shower, Wooyoung padded towards his bed and blindly looked for his phone after turning off the lights. There were a few messages from Yeosang pretending he wasn’t sad because Jongho hadn’t greeted him when he stopped by with San earlier in the day, a two days old message from his mom that he forgot to reply and the most recent one sent around ten minutes ago from a number he didn’t recognize.
Unknown Number
Hi, this is San.
Wooyoung rolled his eyes and saved the contact number as Moron.
You:
Hello, San.
Moron:
are you available tomorrow? we could do wednesdays, thursdays and fridays if it’s okay with u.
Wooyoung should say he was a bit surprised. Choi San having classes on a Friday night was not something he was expecting.
You:
It’s perfect for me. It’s the library ok or would you rather work somewhere else?
Moron
fine for me. i’ll meet u there at 6pm then.
You:
Ok.
Wooyoung locked his phone and was ready to tuck in for the night when the ping sound of his notification ringed again.
Moron
gnight.
Wooyoung looked at it for a few seconds before locking his phone again and went to sleep without replying.
Notes:
they met lol
Chapter Text
Nothing was unusual on Wooyoung’s day. He had classes as always, spent lunch time with Hongjoong and Yeosang, had more classes and after it ended he spent some more time reading the book he was using for an essay. Just as usual.
When it was half past five, Wooyoung got up from the bench he had been sitting and made his way to the library. It wasn’t far so he arrived more than ten minutes before the time he and San had agreed on. He took his time to get everything ready. Took the book he needed to start his classes with the player, a few pens and his laptop. All the help he could get so a whole hour with Choi San would pass faster.
Wooyoung also spent his day thinking about different approaches to that meeting. He knew he wasn’t someone completely easy to deal with, his lack of enthusiasm with human interaction probably taking a tool on it. But if Choi San was really uncomfortable as his friends mentioned last time, they wouldn’t be successful. And even thought he couldn’t care less about his precious college team, it wasn’t like he was actively trying to see Choi San fail. Wooyoung would try his best to make him cram his finals and win that fucking Championship. He just hoped San would do the same.
But they probably weren’t on the same page. San was late and Wooyoung was already annoyed. All the effort he was thinking on putting on those lessons slowly vanishing on thin air. Scrolling through his phone while sipping on his watered down drink, Wooyoung heard steps on the quiet room and looked up to see Choi San coming towards him in lazy steps. 25 minutes late.
Another thing about Choi San that weakened Wooyoung’s resolve on making things work was that he was distracting.
Wooyoung was already familiar with Choi San being handsome, that was never something he denied. Everyone could see it. But it was never been a problem for him because of course, all of that was never directed at him. He already saw the cute eye smile and the bulging muscles so it was whatever, right? But having all of Choi San so close to him was a bit overwhelming. San had that power on people and he was aware of that, of course. The worst part is that Wooyoung is aware that San it’s not even trying to charm his way into this like he does with everything else. He wants to be here as much as Wooyoung does, if not less. So Wooyoung felt a bit pathetic for a having a small situation about Choi San when it was obvious they couldn’t care less about each other.
But San wasn’t easy to miss and Wooyoung couldn’t blame himself for that. He arrived looking freshly showered and he smelled so good Wooyoung almost got up to leave, it was unfair. There was a strange mix of sandalwood, soap bar and something different that Wooyoung couldn’t tell what it was but smelled just about right. San put his gym bag on the empty chair beside him and sat in front of Wooyoung, partially wet hair covering a bit of his seemed tired eyes.
“You’re late” Wooyoung said completely changing his focus from San to San’s behavior. Completely different things, of course.
“I lost track of time, sorry” San said and sighed. He opened his bag, took a pen and a notebook and sat them on the table.
“Don’t let it happen again, please. We don’t have that much time” Wooyoung said as a matter of fact while opening his own books. He could hear San taking a deep breath but couldn’t care less.
“It’s not like it matters” San muttered and Wooyoung looked at him in the eyes for the first time since the player arrived.
“And why’s that?” Wooyoung asked, putting his pen down on focusing only on San.
“I’m just here to appease the dean. We both know that in the end, I’ll play that game whether I pass those fucking exams or not” San said with a steady voice but it lacked conviction.
“If you won’t even try, why did you bother to show up?” San shrugged. “You could’ve shoot me a text with your intentions and we could’ve worked with that. If you’re so sure you’re in for the game no matter what, then we’d have avoided this unpleasant interaction and both would be happy with the outcome. I have better things to do with my time than sitting around waiting for you, San” Wooyoung said, frustrated.
He knew San had showed up for a reason. He was just putting up a front that Wooyoung was familiar with, trying to belittle the problem and the help so it wouldn’t be a big deal. Wooyoung wants to help but San needs to be willing.
“I know it sucks to have something you’ve worked so hard for suddenly out of your reach, been there done that. But I also know that this is probably not the hardest thing you’ve ever been told to do. I won’t let you fail, San. Making you an A+ student is probably the easiest thing I’ve done in a while, we’re both capable of doing that” Wooyoung said while packing his things. San was quiet, but he could feel his eyes following his movements. After everything was out of the table once again, Wooyoung got up to leave. “I’ll be here tomorrow at the same time”
Wooyoung left and by the time he closed the door, San was still sitting in the same position.
+
San was intrigued. Jung Wooyoung wasn’t the type to put effort on other people, he had seen that.
When he finally agreed to the classes, he thought that he could just be a pain and make Wooyoung so mad that he would leave without a second thought. So he was purposely late and was sure to make things that would damp the already spoilt mood. And he pissed Wooyoung off, but the guy didn’t had the reaction San was expecting from him. He didn’t walk away without giving two fucks, he gave him the first lesson of the day instead.
I won’t let you fail, San.
San was ready to make Wooyoung regret accepting helping him, but ended up with a lot of things to think about.
They had started with the wrong foot that much was true. Both had their minds already made about each other – Wooyoung’s disdainful face still vivid in his brain – but one hour was not that much of a hassle.
San was prideful, yes. But the little he knew about Wooyoung, he understood why they asked him for help. The kid was good and even though he tried to remain confident and think that at the end of the day, the college’s reputation would come before his grades and they would let him play one way or another, San could use the help.
That’s why the next day, ten minutes before 5pm, San was stepping into the library.
San was raised to be a polite man. His grandparents made sure that he bowed to everyone, not just seniors or elders. He knew how to be soft spoken and how to admit when he was in the wrong. There was never a moment in all this time when people started to look up to him that he had let someone down. And even if Jung Wooyoung was far from being his fan, San was not one to disappoint. He was still not convinced or happy with the whole arrangement, and believed that sooner or later he and Wooyoung would go separate ways before their month was up, but it wouldn’t hurt to try it.
Wooyoung was already there and San wasn’t exactly surprised. The slightly shorter guy seemed to go by the clock, and San got the passing thought if he was ever late for an appointment.
San sat in front of him and Wooyoung already had all of his things laid on the table, ready to start. Waiting for him just like yesterday. They didn’t exchange any pleasantries, just a hushed Hi before San unpacked his things.
“Anything you want to cover first?” Wooyoung asked. “Something you find harder to grasp?”
“We can stick with whatever you planned” San said, voice a bit tight.
It was hard to understand how he should behave while with the other guy. When he’s studying with his friends – even if that wasn’t a common occurrence – San always ends up playing around more than actually absorbing anything useful. So here with Wooyoung he was, once again, out of his element. The guy was serious, posture straight and face devoid of any expression, and the sensation of being a job deal came back with full force hitting San in the face. Even if essentially this was exactly it, the thought of having to spend time with someone who didn’t thoroughly enjoyed his company was a new development for San. And not exactly one he was delighted with.
“Can we start, then?” Wooyoung asked and fixed his glasses on his face. San nodded and the boy started to talk about things that San couldn’t care less about.
Wooyoung was a good teacher. He sat up notebooks with pictures, a laptop with slides that complimented his explanation and was effectively doing a good job with making San understand that whoever that person he was talking about was, it was someone important. San liked important people, but not the ones who he wouldn’t ever interact with maybe. And the fact that they had been dead for centuries was also something that dampened his mood.
San was paying attention. He made some notes, with names and dates, things it would probably be important. But his focus kept shifting from time to time. He never had someone so close explaining things to him before – not even his coach. It was a bit difficult to focus on the papers and screen in front of him when Wooyoung kept speaking and San found himself actually staring at his mouth, captivated by the movement of it. Wooyoung had a big mouth. Full, slightly pouty lips. San had noticed a mole in the bottom one and his eyes kept wandering to it every other minute. The shape of his mouth moving was distracting and kept shutting whatever Wooyoung was saying from entering San’s ear.
For the last 10 minutes or so San’s eyes kept going back and forth from the doodles on his notebook to Wooyoung’s mouth without him even realizing it.
“Do you have any questions?” Wooyoung asked after taking a sip of the drink by his side and San eyes were once again on his lips. He wasn’t talking this time so San wanted to see if they were shaped any different. No, still big.
“No. The guy was against capitalism. I got it” San said while throwing his pen on the table.
“That was all you got from what I said?” Wooyoung said and sounded annoyed.
“It’s the most important part, isn’t it? Max, the guy who doesn’t like companies” San said and he knew he was being dumb. Wooyoung rolled his eyes and took a deep breath.
“Marx. Don’t put Max in your test unless you’re looking for an F” Wooyoung hissed.
“Dude, I’m joking, relax. You’ve said his name probably 345 times in the last hour, there’s no way I’ll forget that.” San had also counted 4 different shapes to Wooyoung’s lips when he pronounced the dead man’s name so that was another remind of it.
“Ok, we have five more minutes” Wooyoung said while looking at his phone. “Can you tell me everything I just told you about? In your own way, just so I can be sure you understood?” Wooyoung said and his voice was softer than it was previously.
San nodded and hacked his brain looking for an analogy that would make sense. He had generally understood what the guy stands for and all that jazz but explain it was another story.
“So” San started and Wooyoung was attentively looking at him. “It’s like the Avengers, right?” He watched was Wooyoung narrowed his eyes behind his black rimmed glasses and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “They’re like the proletariat, the ones actually in the front line, who do all the dirty, hard work. Let’s supposed they had signed the Accords. Then the government would be like the bourgeoisie, right? The ones who holds all the power because they are the ones with most resources, like money and information. So they essentially take all the credit and advantage for something, like saving the world for example, that does not belong to them. It belongs to who actually saved it, right?”
San was looking at him expectantly. He knew it probably wouldn’t make sense, and that it wasn’t exactly an A+ explanation, but Wooyoung wasn’t looking displeased. He was actually smirking and nodding his head.
“I suppose you’re free to go, Captain”
San left the room less annoyed than when he entered. It was not exactly improvement, but he liked it.
+
“He used The Avengers to explain Karl Marx to me” Wooyoung said over dinner.
Yeosang and Hongjoong had come over unannounced. It wasn’t exactly like them to do it, but Wooyoung had described the whole fiasco from the first class with San and they wanted details from whatever had happened today.
“Did it made sense?” Hongjoong asked while slurping his noodles.
“It scratched the surface, yes. For a first class I think he got the gist of it” Wooyoung said with a hint of a smile.
“Then he’s not a lost cause” Yeosang said while plucking at his eyebrows up on the sofa.
Wooyoung was somewhat proud. He had his doubts about San even showing up, so there was progress. Of course he noticed that San could not sit still for more than five minutes and his focus shifted from a fly to an expect of dust in barely seconds, but he was pushing through. He saw as San looked concentrated only two times during the whole hour: once, for the first ten minutes, when he made notes and was actually looking at slides Wooyoung had prepared; and when San was looking at him. At first Wooyoung hadn’t realized, he was focused on the laptop screen, and on the book opened in front of him, trying to make the information as easy as possible to understand. But when he looked back up, San was focused on his face. His expression was away, but his eyes were stuck on his lips. Wooyoung was not fazed, San probably had the attention span of a newborn and any moving thing could catch his eye. So hearing as the player actually said something useful after a whole hour of nonstop talking, it made him feel somewhat accomplished.
“Is he weird?” Yeosang asked and looked at Wooyoung, clamp on his hand. “Does he have like, a bad handwriting, any ticks?”
“He wrote like, 2 lines or something. And I wasn’t paying attention to him to notice anything different”
“You didn’t pay attention to him? Not even a little?” Hongjoong asked, eyebrows raised.
“No” Wooyoung rolled his eyes.
“Oh come on! Everyone in this room had seen that face and you’re no nun yourself. One hour up close and personal with all that and you’re completely unfazed? People say he’s a charmer” Yeosang said and Wooyoung rolled his eyes again, throwing an unused chopstick at him.
“He’s normal” Wooyoung started. “I don’t know what you want me to say. It wasn’t a date or a friendly outing. I wasn’t there to stare at his face or ogle on his arms. All I have to do is get everything he needs through that skull” Wooyoung said resolutely.
“The best part of his face is?” Hongjoong asked like they were in a speed quiz.
“Argh, those cheekbones” Wooyoung grunted and threw himself at Yeosang’s lap, his friends laughing like seagulls.
-
Yeosang and Hongjoong’s company were always delightful but Wooyoung was glad when they finally left. He was too tired to get any job done tonight so he went straight to bed after shower, opting to keep working o his essays later in the morning. His next class with San was already prepared and it reminded him to send the player a text.
You:
Hi, San! I’ll send you a few notes from what we talked about today so you can study when you’re free. Also, are you sure you’ll be able to make it tomorrow. It’s Friday.
Wooyoung kept scrolling through his instagram feed until a few minutes later when a text from San came through
Moron:
hey, that would be great, thanks
im free tomorrow if u are, don’t have anything scheduled until 9
You:
Okay, then! See you tomorrow
Moron:
see ya!
+
San was almost half asleep at lunch table.
Wooyoung had actually sent him notes, color corded ones at that, and he spent most of the night revising and making notes himself. It wasn’t exactly something he was eager to learn, but it was not like he had a choice.
After almost pulling an all nighter – he knew one month would go in a flash and he didn’t like the sensation of those exams lurking around and him being unprepared – he had to wake up at 6am for practice. He had rearranged a few of his time slots to accommodate classes and changed late practice to morning practice. His morning had been hectic with classes – that he was actually forced to watch by Seonghwa, and more practice.
When Yunho last arrived with his food trail and plumped down next to him, San jolted awake.
“We’re all up for Soobin’s party tonight, right?” Yunho asked as soon as he sat down and almost everyone at the table confirmed.
San was having lunch with only the team today. Arin and her friends were having extra classes and San asked not to sit in the cafeteria, not in the mood to entertain his pears.
“Pre-game at yours, cap?” Jongho asked while stuffing his mouth with fries.
“Can’t. I have to meet Wooyoung” San mumbled.
“Oh, right. How did that go?” Seonghwa asked.
“It’s actually helpful. He sent me notes and stuff. Seems like he’s actually putting effort in it”
“Of course he is, he’s being paid” Another guy said at the end of the table but San couldn’t quite recognize the voice.
“He’s not half assing it, it’s what I’m saying. He could just throw me some stuff and be done with it, but he’s trying to help me, I think” San said, a bit uncomfortable.
It was weird to not be throwing an insult while talking about the other and actually trying to be civil when he’s not around. But Wooyoung, up until now, had not given him a reason to bad mouth him, even if his presence was still annoying to San. That was on him and he could deal with it.
“Probably has the roots for you” Heesung, he’s backup goalie said.
“He gay?” Someone asked.
“Everyone has the roots for San, I wouldn’t blame him” Yunho said while making a kissy face at San, who smacked him in the head with a smile.
“Should make him fall for you or something, captain. You’d never have to worry about exams again, he would be more than glad to swap with you to try and get on your good side while pining from afar” Heesung said again and a few other guys sneered with him.
“You know him?” Seonghwa asked, expression darkened. Heesung shook his head. “Then why are you talking shit about him?”
Seonghwa could be a scary motherfucker if he wanted and with just one dirty look, the conversation on the table shifted to dirty socks.
San watched as Seonghwa huffed and threw the fries he had on his hand back on his tray. As a captain, he knew not everyone on the team were the best of friends. As a whole, they work well together and can be a pain the ass on the field. Out of it, though, not everyone saw eye to eye. Seonghwa has a short temper and is never one to quiet or back down from an argument, with whoever it is and always stands on his principles. Everyone on the team knew better than to shit on people gratuitously when he was around. San tried not to meddle on fights that he knew didn’t concern the team or their well being, everyone on the table old enough to fight their own battles.
“But classes on a Friday evening, San?” Yunho asked, voice low, trying to keep the conversation only between him, Jongho and Seonghwa, who were sitting closer to them.
“He says he only can do evenings and I can’t Mondays and Tuesdays”
On Mondays San volunteered at an animal shelter near the campus. Working there was something that came like a breath of fresh air for him, even if just for a little bit. All the other work he did as a volunteer was to sustain the team’s image and he wasn’t keen on it, but that one place he visited ever since high school. He didn’t had the heart to stop helping, not when he had grown so attached to the animals and staff in there, almost like a refugee when he was younger. So even if he reduced in more than 80% his visits, he would keep going back until it was completely impossible for him anymore.
And Tuesday was Team Day. Every Tuesday the team gets together after practices to work on building a good relationship. It was just an excuse to drink shitty beer and eat junk food but it was tradition and he couldn’t step on that. Even if half of the team skipped most of the time, he knew his best friends were always there and that was what made him maintain it, even if he thought it was bull.
So he was left with the last three days of the week, Fridays included.
+
Wooyoung wasn’t expecting San to show up.
He knew the player had confirmed, but he had heard the whispers of a party going on in a few hours – Yeosang had actually tried to drag him and he said a round no, once again – so he had his suspicions on whether the boy would prioritize their sessions or not.
But San did show up, five minutes early.
“Hi, Banner” San said and Wooyoung looked at him intrigued.
‘Banner?” He asked, confused.
“Well, if I get to be Captain” San said while raising his eyebrows suggestively and Wooyoung rolled his eyes “I thought I’d have to pick an Avenger for you too. I think Dr. Banner would be suitable. You have the brains and all” San finished with a smirk.
Wooyoung tried not to show any reaction, really. But it was hard not to when San seemed so earnest on his mission to Avenge him up. So the smile playing on his lips was more of a reaction to the statement then the eagerness San showed of breaking the ice.
“I think Banner is a bit of a stretch, but I’m honored, really” Wooyoung said, while putting a hand on his heart to express the sentiment and San rolled his eyes, smiling too. “I think Black Widow would suit me be the best, to be honest” Wooyoung said and San raised an eyebrow at him.
“Why, are you a lone killer?” The boy asked with a playful tone.
“Oh no, but I think I would rock a red hair” Wooyoung said and San’s laugh filled the entire room.
They heard a few shushes and the lovely Mrs. Yoon gave him a warning look and that they acknowledge with a practiced bow as they exchanged a sheepish look with each other before finally getting into the work for the day.
Wooyoung worked hard in everything he did, so of course he was putting in his best work to teach San. He did his research on every subject, prepared slides before every class and tried to approach him with a language that wouldn’t be so confusing. Wooyoung knew how frustrating it could be when trying to learn something but having no idea what half of the terms meant. So he was making as easier as he could for Choi San.
But San wasn’t making it easy for him. Not that he was being a pain, far from it. San was not meeting any of his expectations during those miserable two days. He wasn’t expecting the mood to be so light. San was paying attention today, his notebook with more than a few lone scrambles and he was asking questions and expressing his doubts. Wooyoung was strangely proud. But, more than paying attention to what was being said, San was paying attention to him and that was weird.
The day before when San was staring so intently at his lips, Wooyoung wasn’t fazed because the other one was spacing out. He was looking but probably wasn’t actually seeing anything. But today San’s eyes were all over his face. His eyes time and time again wandered to his lips, and back to his eyes, when Wooyoung wasn’t showing anything to him on screen. It was easier to explain with images but there were things that Wooyoung could only make him understand by talking to him and expressing with his body as he was not able to talk without his hands. And San was attuned to it, following his movements and nodding his head with him to show he was following his line of thought.
And as his friends mentioned to him last night, having all that so close was a bit distracting. Of course he did as best as he could, but every time San stopped to scribble something down and Wooyoung paused to give him the time to it without overwhelming him with information, he stared. And everything on that motherfucking face was carved to perfection. San was obviously not dressed to impressed, hair half damped from after practice shower falling on his eyes, no makeup on sight – Wooyoung had seen enough photos of him dolled up for parties to notice the difference – but it was not like he needed any touch up. His skin had imperfections, a bit of stubble was showing and Wooyoung realized he was seeing him for the first time. The captain of the football team that everyone idolized made way to San, the struggling college kid trying not to fail his classes, just like everyone else. Here San was almost real.
They finished five minutes past the scheduled time. They packed their things in silence before San cleaned his throat.
“Today was good. I feel like I’ve learned six months worth of class” San said with a small smile.
“Not exactly six, but we’ve covered a lot of things” Wooyoung said with zipping his backpack.
“I’ll be going, then” San said while getting up. “I suppose I won’t be seeing you at the party later?”
“No” Wooyoung answered and San nodded, making his way to the exit.
Wooyoung wasn’t ready for small talk, polite San but it was a glad surprise. If they could keep the good atmosphere until the end of the month it would be ideal.
Notes:
they're cute, i guess.
Chapter 4: 4
Summary:
San and Wooyoung have a misunderstanding.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Things were going well for Wooyoung.
He had received directly from the dean the payment for the first week of tutoring San and allowed himself a bit time to indulge himself. Wooyoung was never one to spare money recklessly and saved up a lot of what he could. Having a scholarship helped a lot with expanses since it was all covered for him. His parents helped in everything they could so he could focus on his studies and still live comfortably. He couldn’t complain, honestly.
But since all his necessities were not his responsibility, he also didn’t have money to spend as he pleased. He didn’t have the face to ask pocket money from his parents, he wasn’t a kid anymore. So having a bit more with him knowing he wouldn’t need to pay the bills with it made him want to have a free day.
Wooyoung wasn’t one to slack off. He had a packed scheduled and tried not to miss the appointments he made with himself for silly things. His studies were his priority and he wasn’t ashamed of that not even when his friends pestered him to “live a little”. Wooyoung had spent his high school years having a taste of life as it was. He was a trainee and even though he was fairly young and focused on his dreams, he had enough friends throwing parties around to know what it was like. He neglected everything he could until he manned up and decided to have responsibilities. If wanting a solid future came it passing on parties and alcohol every weekend, he wouldn’t miss it.
He wasn’t a recluse, he enjoyed his friends company and tried to make room for them once a week because he knew he couldn’t make it without going crazy if they weren’t around. He knew Yeosang and Hongjoong had lesser things on their plates that he had – even if those things had been a choice he made himself – and none of them judged him for it. They enjoyed each other every way they could and didn’t bat an eyelash if that could happen once in a week for the duration of a movie.
Of course they always extended their invitations when going out. Just last week when the supposed best party of the year had been thrown by a veteran and everyone was invited, Yeosang tried to drag him, going as far as arriving at his dorm room with his outfit ready. Wooyoung let them try and convince him but at the end, they weren’t his best friends for nothing. Understanding his wishes, Yeosang and Hongjoong wished him a good night’s sleep and went on their way without him. Wooyoung was in a place in his life at the age of 22 that he wouldn’t imagine when he was 17. He rather have a well rested night over beer pong any minute.
It was boring the first few months and Wooyoung caved a few times, neglecting a few classes to make out behind buildings or because he was in a too poor state after a night out to show his face outside. But after the workload became heavier, he put his mind into it and happily said goodbye to that side of his life. But he couldn’t pass on every pleasure he had in life until he graduated. And Wooyoung loved shopping. He’d always like going out to look at the stores windows, experiment clothes and after getting everything he liked, stopping for a big ice cream cone, with 3 scoops. He couldn’t do it often because he was tight on money to spend on himself, but every once in a while when his parents where feeling generous to transfer something for his account and call it a reward for being such a great son, he let himself indulge.
So when Oh Sehun gave him the money for the first 3 classes with San on Monday morning, Wooyoung decided to take the day off.
After classes ended and he said goodbye to Yeosang, with Hongjoong nowhere in sight, Wooyoung went to the mall. He was not familiar with the mall around his university, but he found his way around. He brought himself a few new clothes, the best smelling body lotion he could find, new skincare products and a new pair of shoes. He also couldn’t resist in purchase one the cutest chocker’s he had seen in a while, even if he wasn’t planning on using it anytime soon anyway. It was made of black satin, a purple gem dangling off of it shaped like a droplet. He was happy and relaxed like he hadn’t in such a long time. After his sacred ice cream cone, Wooyoung decided to go home for the day after spending almost four hours walking around.
As he was walking towards the bus stop, a few stores down the mall entrance, Wooyoung saw a pet shelter. He was crazy for cats and wish he had more time to look after one. So he went in, judging his bags not to be too heavy to interfere with a little more self indulgence.
The shelter had a spacious reception, a lot of animal’s goods on display and a door to the left beside the main counter, probably taking to the animals. A middle aged woman was behind the desk, and gave Wooyoung a smile after he went in.
“Welcome to Wagging Tail, how can I help you?” The woman asked beckoning him forward.
“Hi, do you allow visitations?” Wooyoung asked when he got closer.
“Yes, we do! Are you thinking about adopting?” She asked.
“Oh no, I can’t at the moment” He said, almost with a pout.
“Well, that’s okay! You can go through the door on your left and feel free to comeback anytime!” She said polite and Wooyoung bowed before entering the room.
It smelled like a clean animal shelter. The first thing Wooyoung saw as he entered the room was a big cat tower with a beautiful black persian cat on top, napping the day away. There were also various spacious cages with dogs, cats, rabbits and even guinea pigs inside. The room was big and extended way beyond what Wooyoung was seeing, with doors connecting to other rooms.
One of the doors were closed and opened just as Wooyoung crouched down to pet a beautiful Labrador who was happily waiting for him to approach. Wooyoung fumbled a bit with his bags but managed to pet the dog on his ears through the bars when someone came in holding a very much wet cat.
A very much wet Choi San carrying a very much wet cat.
“Aren’t you such a naughty kid, hm? Look at the mess you made just for a bath” San talked with a baby voice with the animal on his arm, cradled like a baby itself, wrapped in a small towel before putting it in a table with a few utensils Wooyoung didn’t pay attention.
San was wearing an apron, but everywhere was wet. His naked arms, his dripping hair, even his back that Wooyoung staring at. As he turned to pick something from one cabinet in the other side of the room, San locked eyes with a very much awkward looking Wooyoung.
“Oh?” San said in surprise and Wooyoung gave him a small, yellow smile.
Wooyoung was not expecting it. Like, he wasn’t at all. Why would he find someone he knew – Choi San of all people – at the only day off he allowed himself in probably three months just as he was about to go home? Wooyoung wasn’t a socially inapt person but he liked to avoid situations he wasn’t prepared for. So finding San and having to actually talk to him outside of what he had planned out was not something Wooyoung was counting on.
“Hi” Wooyoung said, a small bow as he tried to leave the room without making it seem like he was running.
“What are you doing here?” San asked looking at him as if he had grown two heads when he tried to go for the door.
“I came to visit. What are you doing here?” Wooyoung said, stopping next to the table San had put the wet cat since the other was now at the other side of the room. Distance was good.
“I work here” San said as a matter of fact. “I’ve never seen you around” San said eyeing him in a way Wooyoung didn’t like. It was almost suspicious.
“I didn’t knew about this place before” Wooyoung said.
“How did you find out? Stumbled upon it?” San said again and his tone was almost mocking. Wooyoung certainly didn’t liked it.
“Yes, actually” Wooyoung said, not knowing why he should be explaining himself to Choi San.
“So a coincidence then” San said at last, arrived back at the table again with a few bottles and a brush and Wooyoung took a step back when he took a hold of the cat to dry it.
“Not a pleasant one, but yes” Wooyoung said, fed up and gave San his back, about to leave the room.
“Are you going? I thought you like to enjoy more you’re coincidence” San said and the mocking tone was there again.
“Are you trying to tell me something?” Wooyoung turned again, his face now impassive and San looked away before smiling at the cat, not paying Wooyoung attention.
“I’m just saying. I’ve seen you around and then you suddenly appear here after we met” San said shrugging and after it downed on Wooyoung what me meant by that, his eyes almost bulged out of his sockets.
“You think I’m stalking you?” Wooyoung all but screamed and San shrugged again, not even sparing him a glance. “As if I don’t have better things to do with my time, Choi San” Wooyoung said, livid, and left the room, only hearing what seemed like San’s laugh behind him.
+
San’s shift ended a couple of hours after Wooyoung left.
He would stay more if he could, but he had a date planned with his girlfriend.
His day was calm, nothing much really happens at a pet shelter, aside from those times a rescued animal comes in need of immediate aid. It had been a while since it happened while he was volunteering so he just tended to the animals as they needed, just like he was doing when he found Wooyoung petting Duke, the Labrador.
He had no idea why the idea of teasing him came to his mind so suddenly and why he did it with such a bad assumption. It was not like he wasn’t aware that Wooyoung barely gave himself to time breath, let alone to stalk someone. But Wooyoung was looking so uncomfortable around him so San couldn’t help himself to just get a reaction out of him. He laughed until his shifted ended later that night remembering Wooyoung outrageous face and the way he stormed out the room leaving San behind.
When San had finished tending to Star, the cat he had bathed earlier the day, he started to fix things around the room. He noticed Duke, the dog Wooyoung was playing with, munching on what looked like a small bag. He went to retrieve it from the dog before he could swallow it, and noticed something inside.
It could only belong to Wooyoung, he supposed. He was carrying bags when in the room, probably letting that one drop as he was petting the animal. He took the item out to be sure no damage was made in anything more than the bag, which was bitten and drenched in saliva. He found a delicate black velvet pouch inside, seeming intact, but he opened just to be sure and found a piece of jewelry. It was a delicate chocker, the material felt good and soft on his fingers, and the pendant was purple, his favorite color. He stared at it for a second too long before putting back on the pouch again and stuffing it on his bag, trying hard not to imagine it around Wooyoung’s neck.
-
His date with Arin was good as always. She was a great girl, they matched in everything. She was never too demanding and never pushed San for more than he could give her. He knew he lacked as a boyfriend, sometimes going the whole week without seeing his girlfriend outside of the lunch table they sat together sometimes to eat.
San and Arin had started dating the same year he entered college. She was shy at first but San was interested and made sure to become her friend before things escalated. Probably the reason they got along so well. She knew his schedule and everything he was supposed to do, always cheering him on in every way she could. He knew no one else would be so patient.
People talked about them more than he was comfortable with. Arin didn’t seem to mind the attention, he knew that, but with everything he needed to give to people around him at least that part of his life he wish he could keep private. He wasn’t asking for anything impossible, he knew that. They could keep entertaining people with their relationship but not document every piece of it on social media like Arin liked to do and it pissed him off.
San planned a date on Monday night because he wasn’t able to see her on the weekend. With the party Soobin threw on Friday, he spent the whole Saturday recovering from the massive hangover he had and Sundays were the days Arin spent with her family. So they decided to meet at the park near San’s dorm room and enjoy the night together.
San entertained her the best he could. She could always take his mind out of his own problems, coming up with things for them to do together. After a long game of tag between just the two of them that Arin insisted they played – even though he was a football player, he had a hard time catching her, that girl could run! – they laid on the grass and stared at the sky.
“How are you doing?” She asked him, before turning around and laying on her stomach, head resting on her hands.
“I’m tired” He said honestly, never one to keep things from her. If he had his best friends on the team, that girl beside him was another one of them. “I couldn’t catch a break last week and this week it’s just the same” San exhaled heavily and Arin hugged him with one arm, while laying her head on his chest. He started to pet her hair absentmindedly.
“How are the classes with Wooyoung going?” She said.
“It’s not as bad as I thought it would be” He admitted. “He’s a good teacher, I’m glad he’s helping me”
“That’s great! One less thing for you to worry about, then. I’m sure you’ll ace your exams” She said and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek, making him smile.
Enjoying the night with Arin was healing. They kissed for minutes underneath the stars before San stomach grumbled and they went to pick something to eat. The couple tried to keep their diet on check, but indulged themselves sometimes in their favorite thing: street vendor’s teobokki.
After waiting a few minutes in a line, San started to place their order.
“Love, can you pick my wallet in my bag while I finish here, please?” San asked Arin and she nodded before going to pick it up for him. She came back in less than a minute and gave it to him, but something in her face had changed, almost like she had a new glint in her eyes, looking at him through her eyelashes.
San found odd but decided to let her be. She went back to their table first and San followed a few minutes after with their order. When he arrived, she was holding something in her hands and looked at him with a smile so sweet that he could not help but reciprocate.
“What?” He asked while sitting.
“I didn’t mean to spoil the surprise, but I loved it!” She said, smiling so bright that San felt bad for having no idea what she was talking about.
He finally understood when she looked at her hands and he saw the black velvet pouch he had put in his bag earlier the day. His eyed widened and he was about to explain to her and clear the misunderstanding, but she was already putting it on and snapping a picture with Wooyoung’s chocker on her own neck.
San was fucked.
+
Wooyoung was tired.
After wandering around the mall all day and the unpleasant interaction he had with San a few hours earlier, Wooyoung was looking forward to just sleep the night away.
He couldn’t believe the audacity the football player had to insinuate something so absurd. Wooyoung barely had time to entertain his own personal life, let alone meddling with someone else’s. He was furious as he left the pet place and still hadn’t calmed down when he arrived home, many minutes later.
He had no idea why San would even think something like that but Wooyoung wasn’t exactly sure why he was surprised. He knew that the good mood they managed to settle wouldn’t last. Wooyoung would still be as professional as he could and was happy he had one entire day to digest the assholeness Choi San proffered before having to meet him again.
He knew he shouldn’t be that offended, but he couldn’t help it. He had seen that seemingly playful behavior hurt too many people along the years, himself included. He wasn’t even entirely certain that San said it as a joke.
Wooyoung came out in high school, when he was 16 years old. It wasn’t news to his friends, but when he was so infatuated with a boy that he could barely keep it together anymore, he decided to tell his family. His parents took it with a light heart. He could see a bit of the spark in his father’s eyes diminishing in the first few months, but they treated him all the same. Wooyoung was still the same kid they have raised so well and in the end, they loved him no matter what. What he thought it would be a problem, turned out to be a blessing. His parents were there to pick him up when everything went to hell and he was outed in high school against his will.
The boy he was so sure he was in love with, Yeojun, was nothing but a coward asshole. He indulged Wooyoung, he took his first kiss, was his first ever make out session. Wooyoung had never known feelings so strong before and his brain to mouth filter was never one to function properly. So after a few weeks of meeting in secret, Wooyoung thinking it was the start of his epic romance that would end up with him spending the rest of his life with his soulmate, Yeojun chickened out when Wooyoung confessed. Wooyoung noticed the boy was avoiding him, slowly at first, meeting him less and less before stopping altogether. Wooyoung was not always the voice of reason, but he would have understood if Yeojun had just talked to him. But he wasn’t so lucky.
That faithful Monday morning, after having catch Yeojun making out with a girl in a party and demanded answers, Wooyoung entered school with all eyes on him. Yeojun had gone and said to every single person on that motherfucking high school that Wooyoung was obsessed with him. That he was delusional that they had something with each other and was stalking him, online and on school.
Yeojun was pretty popular back then. Wooyoung wasn’t so bad himself, being a trainee and all, but people, for some reason, believed Yeojun. And fingers started to be pointed at him, slurs started to be hauled. People started to avoid him. That was the turning point for his life. After his heart mended – Wooyoung would ever be thankful to his mother for holding him through everything – he got his shit together. He left the trainee life, focused on school and became who he is today.
So he doesn’t take light to false accusations. Specially not the one Choi San decided to throw at him.
San was one of these people that think the world revolves around them, Wooyoung had always been aware of that. And he was a football player, for God’s sake, what else could Wooyoung expect? That he would be treated like a friend after meeting him for two hours? Locker room conversations probably revolved around his glasses and weak figure. Wooyoung never lacked self esteem but his mind was starting to wander in places he wasn’t comfortable with. He had had his fair share of hook ups last year, so it wasn’t like he was hiding his sexuality or was ashamed. But he knew first hand that people talk. So be the butt of the joke for Choi San and his friends wouldn’t be that surprising for Wooyoung. But Wooyoung wouldn’t go back to the place he crawled off once. He wouldn’t be the kid that people point fingers at anymore. He would start to treat San like he was planning to ever since the beginning, nothing more than another chore he had to do. Better be safe than sorry.
-
After a relaxing shower with all the products he had bought, Wooyoung started to get ready for bed. He was putting his new items away when he noticed he was missing one bag.
He looked everywhere in the house for bag containing the chocker he had been so in love with but couldn’t find. It only served the damp more his mood knwing he probably lost it on his way back home.
Going to sleep in a bad mood, Wooyoung scrolled through his instagram feed for the first time that day. He wasn’t active but followed a few of his friends. It pissed him off when the app started to show other people’s posts on his feed but he sucked up to it fairly quick. So he wasn’t surprised when once or twice when he decided to look at it he saw someone he wasn’t following on his feed. He saw San sometimes, his posts being so popular and having with mutual friends. Today was probably the second time he saw Arin’s post. And he wished he hadn’t.
It was a selfie, her beautiful, soft features with a smile and Wooyoung couldn’t help but smile himself. The emphasis of the picture though, was not exactly her face. She was showing something off and Wooyoung understood when he saw her caption.
arina : is my boyfriend the only one with such good taste for jewelry? thank u babe x
She was wearing his fucking chocker!
Notes:
the updates are being quite fast, right? i'm updating as i write it and i'm having a good time so far writing this story so it flows easily. thank you for your comments, they mean the world to me, by the way!
please don't be upset if the updates stop coming fast, i can't promise a frequency but i hope you guys enjoyed this small chapter!
Chapter Text
San could feel a headache coming.
He didn’t have the heart to tell Arin that he hasn’t bought the present for her. She looked delighted and even posted a picture with it.
San knew it was an asshole move. First because he meant to give it back to Wooyoung and second, because he was just deceiving Arin with a polite smile after she kissed him and said that her present was just her style. I love that it’s purple, it’s your favorite color! she had said.
San could only let it be now. He could pretend he never found the chocker and move on. He could also buy Wooyoung a new one but for that he would need to tell him that he had given his old one to Arin so he wasn’t so sure about that.
But the choice was made for him when he received a text as soon as he got home. When mr. robot, the lovely nickname he had given Wooyoung showed on the screen his face fell instantly.
He opened the text to show a screenshot from Arin’s instagram post. After the picture it was just one simple text. I want it back.
-
San tossed and turned in bed before getting up, his day starting at 6am.
San liked to hit the gym pretty early, knowing well not many people were around. Sometimes he was the only one there and it gave him a freedom and peace of mind he wasn’t allowed as the day went by. San wasn’t keen on exercising for more than 2 hours, given that he still has practice every single day on the afternoon.
His morning was just as busy as any other. He arrived at his classroom ten minutes late because he forgot his earphones on his gym bag and had to return to pick it up – he wasn’t about to go on an entire day without pretending to listen to music so he could avoid certain conversation. The last class of the morning was the one he, unfortunately, shared with Wooyoung. He was avoiding the moment he would need to talk to him, he was actually not even sure he would be up for his tutoring session tomorrow
San was not a coward, per se, but he liked his peace of mind. He hated confrontation. One thing San was good at was being the mediator. It was difficult for him to lose his cool, one of the reasons that probably made him captain. He was an observer and sometimes the voice of reason. Everything he needed to let out, all the frustration or any little thing stressing him out, he did it in the field. He was a completely different person in and out of it.
And for that, for being the pacifist he was, Wooyoung boring holes on his back was a bit unnerving.
His tutor was always one the first to arrive and always, always, paid attention to class. But San could feel his eyes on him – he could probably blame Seonghwa for that one. If the older had insisted San needed to sit upfront , next to the teacher, so he would be able to focus, he wouldn’t even be on Wooyoung’s line of sight – and if it was already difficult to concentrate before, now he was completely lost on a loose thread on his shirt.
San wasn’t used to Wooyoung; he wasn’t sure how the boy worked. So, he had no idea how serious Wooyoung was being about that damned chocker.
After what seemed like five hours the class finally ended. Before the teacher had even stopped talking, San was already out of the classroom. It was ridiculous, really. He was avoiding a person because of something that coasted what, 5,000 won? But he had seen Wooyoung’s icy glare before and honestly, he was not looking forward for it again. And he didn’t have any excuse either. He had just let Arin take it. He hated being in the wrong, let alone be called out for it.
San was glad that lunchtime came and after that he was free to lose himself on practice.
When he arrived at his usual lunch table, right in the middle of the cafeteria, there were probably ten people there already. Yunho, Seonghwa and Jongho were there and Arin also sat with them along with two of her friends. A few other people also joined them and as soon as San arrived, he took a seat next to Arin who saved him a seat. Just to make his mood even broodier, she was wearing that cursed thing around her neck.
San would like to think that he was worrying for nothing. Maybe Wooyoung would just bug him for a bit about it and with his usual charm, he would be able to make him forget about that matter. San held onto that thought and was able to finish his lunch in peace.
But it was too good to be true, right?
“Choi San, a word, please?” He heard from behind him and his head almost dropped. He was already tired before even turning around.
Half of the team was looking at Wooyoung standing behind him with curious eyes. It was probably the first time Wooyoung had even set foot in the cafeteria, let alone to go talk to him specifically. San got up with a sigh and turned around.
Wooyoung was mad, that much was clear. He was scowling, like a parent ready to give a lesson to an undisciplined kid. Wooyoung was blunt, that much he knew, so when the boy opened his mouth to talk, he knew he was not seeing a problem with having so many people around. San quickly grabbed his arm and almost forcefully took him out of the cafeteria, giving an apologetic smile to his peers on the table. Wooyoung followed him without a word, but when they finally got out of the building, the shorter guy was pointedly looking at where San was gripping his arm with both brows raised, an scandalized look on his face.
“What?” San asked.
Wooyoung rolled his eyes and extended his hand, palm up “I said I wanted it back”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about” San said, leaning on the wall behind him and crossing his arms.
“Don’t play dumb with me, Choi San” The scowl on his back on his face and San almost laughed with the way he seemed like a petulant kid when he took a step closer to him, trying to look threatening. “I dropped it on the pet shelter yesterday, you know it’s mine”
“What it’s yours?” San mocked, an innocent expression on his face.
Wooyoung took a deep breath before licking his lips. San eyes immediately were caught in the action, in the way he bit the lower one, like he was trying to calm himself.
“San” Wooyoung started and San eyes shifted to look at his again. “Can you give it back to me, please?”
San was a bit taken aback. Wooyoung came looking ready to chop his ear off, then like he was ready for a fight and now he was being polite. Just how does his brain works, San thinks.
“I can’t” San said with a sarcastic smile.
Wooyoung sighed out loud and threw his hands up in despair, and San smiled. The petulance and bratiness San had managed to catch a glimpse of throughout the days could not be hidden for even a full minute.
“I’ll ask directly from her, then” Wooyoung said, looking at him with squinted eyes and San held his wrist as Wooyoung was about to leave.
“Don’t you dare” San said, and the arrogant look on Wooyoung’s face while shifting his gaze between his face and the grip he had on him made San wanted to punch his nose or something.
“Then you go and get it for me” Wooyoung said, shaking off of San’s grip on him.
“I can’t” San said frustrated.
“Why not?”
“Because she thinks is a present. I was going to give it back to you but she found it in my bag and thought I bought it for her” San explained while leaning on the wall again, sighing.
“I don’t care” Wooyoung said, resolute.
“I’ll pay you back” San said, going to pick his wallet from his pocket. He stopped when heard a incredulous laugh.
“I don’t want money. I didn’t sold it to you”
“You’re being ridiculous. It’s just a piece of fabric” San said rolling his eyes for the nth time.
“If it’s so unimportant then why can you just take it back from your girlfriend?” Wooyoung asked petulant.
“It has emotional value for her” San said, raising his voice just a bit. He was tired of that meaningless argument.
“For me too” Wooyoung said.
“You bought it yesterday” San said. “And you lost it!”
“I forgot it” Wooyoung pointed and San lost it.
“I don’t care! I can pay you back or buy you another one if you’d like. But I won’t hurt my girlfriend because you’re being childish” San said looking Wooyoung in the eye. “I’m sorry for the misunderstanding, but there’s nothing I can do”
Wooyoung was looking with the same icy, unattached expression he looks at everyone else. San couldn’t help but notice how he likes Wooyoung’s smile better. Wooyoung took another step and they were close again.
“It could have been a fucking rock I found on the street, it’s mine and I want it back. I don’t care who you or your girlfriend are. You could do this with whoever the fuck you wanted and they would probably even thank you for it, but not me. I don’t care for who you are, at all. You don’t give someone else’s belongings to your girlfriend because she found it pretty. If you’re so much of a coward that you can’t even clean up a mess with your own girlfriend then…”
Wooyoung was talking but San tuned him out because, once again, he never had someone so close explaining something – even as a “threat” – to him. Wooyoung is too close for comfort, less than an arm’s length away from him and he kept talking. San was trying to pay attention to his words and he was aware that an insult was thrown at him at some point but he couldn’t care. Wooyoung’s lips were shiny wet, the mole in the bottom one was bigger now that San was so close to him and it was so distracting.
He could register that Wooyoung was still talking and he wanted to understand his words, it was like there was an incessant buzz on his brain that his voice caused but San couldn’t figure out the words behind it but he desperately wanted it to stop. Even if he liked the way Wooyoung’s lips moved as he kept saying things that San wasn’t hearing. But Wooyoung’s voice was rising in pitch, the buzz getting louder and San got even more distracted because now the buzz was upsetting him and he wanted it to stop.
And it suddenly stopped.
San closed the distance between them as if he was in a trance. He wanted Wooyoung to stop talking but he also didn’t want to lose sight on his lips. They were so close now that he could count Wooyoung’s eyelashes if he wanted. Another mole made itself present and San felt like smiling by looking at it. It was placed so perfectly high on Wooyoung’s check that San was scandalized he had never paid attention to if before. It was an instinctual thing when Wooyoung took a step back and San took a step forward.
“What are you doing?” Wooyoung asked, voice low now and the bad ringing in San’s ear stopped
“Shut up” San said, trying to sound threatening.
Wooyoung realized that and scorned. “You don’t scare me, San. Actually, I think that…”
San couldn’t let him go off again, Wooyoung talking was something San was not comfortable with. So he shut him up for good now.
With his lips.
+
Wooyoung woke up determined to destroy Choi San. Even if destroy was a big word, the feeling was there.
When Wooyoung sent San a text he was waiting for an answer; an explanation or even fucking question marks. But he just left him on read; like it didn’t matter. Fuck him.
Wooyoung saw him roaming around in the morning, they shared a class and all but San didn’t even spare him a glance. It left him itching to just throw him under the bus in front of his whole gang.
Being completely rational, Wooyoung knew he was ridiculous. He had spent 7 bucks on the jewelry and wasn’t even planning on using it anytime soon. But it was just the nerve San had to not just give it to his girlfriend but also not telling him, not even a sorry man, I didn’t know it was yours or however the fuck that moron communicated. But no, Choi San does whatever the fuck he wants and everybody bends to his wishes.
Wooyoung was tired of doing this. When he was younger, with the most unconfident skip on his steps on every step he took he bended to a lot of wishes just so he could be accepted. He grew up to understand just how shitty that behavior was and had more than ten reasons to never do it again. No one would do him as they pleased and watch him accept it without putting up a fight.
Wooyoung had fought before for things that mattered, will fight even more somewhere down line for even more important things but he has no problem in fighting Choi San for a piece of cloth.
So when he entered the cafeteria, words ready on his tongue and fuck whoever else was there, he went in confident. Of course San would not let him do it without defending himself, that jerk, so Wooyoung let him avoid the public humiliation, he was not that mad anyways.
But San made him fume in less than two minutes and that was not ok. First, he acts dumb – not news – then he tries to be funny. Wooyoung couldn’t see how theft could be funny – he knew he wasn’t stolen or anything, he dropped that damned thing but fuck Choi San the stealer.
What made Wooyoung even more furious was that San was not taking things seriously and had the nerve to be mad when he mentioned Arin. Wooyoung was not planning on talking to her of course, San would need to fix that on his own, but he wanted a strike in. And he got it when San got mad. San had the audacity to threaten him and Wooyoung wanted to laugh. Choi San liked his reputation way too much to even hurt a fly, he wouldn’t give that for the world and Wooyoung knew that.
But he wanted to test San, wanted to jab until he breaks. San thinks too highly of himself, Wooyoung thinks. He thinks that everybody worships the ground he walks on so it was his duty as a citizen to give him a fucking wakeup call. Not everyone’s hanging from his ball like he wishes.
But Choi San is weird, Wooyoung was realizing.
Wooyoung was talking and San crept close to him, warm breath coming in waves hitting him on the face and Wooyoung couldn’t let that make him get away from his route. San was not scary, at all. His big, broad shoulders could make him look intimidating but Wooyoung knew how he worked. The good boy reputation was San’s life and that came with prices. He could not be wrong. San couldn’t step outside the line and he would never cross the fence of doing good. So Wooyoung would never be afraid of someone so small.
He should, though.
Ever since he met Choi San, it was not like he has met Wooyoung’s expectations. He crashed them with his own bare hands and Wooyoung should have been aware of that by now. He should know that Choi San was a blank page that liked to write on itself in a language Wooyoung never heard before. If Wooyoung was a bit more cautious, he would be away as Choi San not just crossed, but tore down the whole fence right in front of him.
Because Choi San, golden boy, perfect boyfriend, captain of the football team and fucking puppy rescuer was kissing him behind the cafeteria.
It took Wooyoung a few seconds to connect the dots and understand that San’s lips were touching his, softly, tentative before it became angry, almost forceful. San held his neck with both hands and Wooyoung’s own instinctively held on the player’s hips. Wooyoung was not sure if to hold him in place or to bring him closer.
It took mere seconds for Wooyoung’s brain to make a decision for him and the hands that were on San’s hips now pushed him away. San still held on to him for half a second, like their lips had a mind of their own before letting him go to let the silence rain on them.
San was looking at him with an expression that Wooyoung couldn’t understand. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to, anyways. It was scary to know that he and Choi San shared a memory now that belonged to only them and no one else.
“I told you to shut up” Wooyoung heard San saying, barely above a whisper.
Ever since he was young, Wooyoung is a talker. He always has a remark, a comeback or a question to make. Even if he decided at some point that this curiosity, this thirsty for words was being put in the wrong direction and began to talk less and hear more until he was prepared to speak his words nonstop, he had never been left speechless before. He may have chosen not to say things before, chosen to let it go, to stay quiet. But there was nothing on his mind now. Just a big, sparkling red flag that said That was a kiss and Wooyoung didn’t know what to do with this information. So he just left. Wooyoung walked back to his friends and away from Choi San, like he belonged.
+
When San went back to his table, everyone kept asking him questions. Seonghwa was the first one to notice that he was not exactly comfortable trying to come up with an answer every ten seconds and suddenly remembered something extremely important they were supposed to be doing right at that moment.
San thanked the heavens for his friend and left the cafeteria with him, walking in silence until they were alone on the bleachers. Sitting side by side, he could feel Seonghwa’s eyes on him, but the older was not asking any questions himself and San was glad.
He had no idea what had happened a few minutes ago. He couldn’t remember the moment he made the decision to kiss Wooyoung but at the same time he could remember vividly the very moment he felt his lips on his. He tried not to think about it, to block every second of what happened from entering his mind again but every time he blinked he could feel his lips again, like a ghost against his. It was annoying the need to wipe his mouth every other time so maybe that itch, the tingling sensation on his lips would go away.
He had no explanation for what he did and could not blame anything else other than his own brain. He initiated the kiss, he held Wooyoung in place even when the other shoved him away. And worst than having no excuse for himself, he had no idea how he was feeling about it.
It was not normal to kiss someone just so they could shut up. If it was anyone else, San was more than certain he would scream or throw a warning punch. Maybe walk away would be the best choice. He could have done that with Wooyoung, he should have. But the thought of laying a finger on him didn’t settle well on his stomach and walking away also left a bitter taste on his mouth. But a kiss? That was beyond stupid. San had never kissed a guy before, never felt compelled to. Besides, he has a girlfriend. A pretty lovely and faithful girlfriend.
San’s head was pounding when Seonghwa’s voice finally was heard beside him.
“You okay?” He asked, laying a comforting hand on his shoulder.
“I don’t know” San answered honestly.
“You guys fought or something? Is it about the tutoring?”
San didn’t know what to answer so he opted for the truth.
“I kissed him” San said and sighed, tired of remembering it.
The silence was deafening. He could feel Seonghwa’s hand still on his shoulder but the older was quiet and unmoving beside him.
“Why?” Seonghwa asked after what felt like forever.
“’Cause he’s annoying” San said and rolled his eyes from remembering Wooyoung’s nonstop blabbering.
“Didn’t know that was a reason to kiss someone” Seonghwa said sarcastic. “What exactly happened?”
“He just wouldn’t shut up!” San said frustrated and looked at Seonghwa who was looking at him with raised eyebrows. “Look, he was talking shit and I lost it. I needed to shut him up” San finished like that explained everything.
“With your lips?” Seonghwa asked with a playful tone and San groaned. “Was it the first time you thought about kissing him?”
“I didn’t think about kissing him” San said outraged. “It just happened”
“San, I’ve seen you argue with a lot people. That never just happened before. Something triggered it” Seonghwa said, reasonable.
Oh, San knew the trigger. The big, wet, mole printed trigger.
“I mean, his lips are kind of distracting” San said and heard Seonghwa scoff. He looked at the older with an annoyed expression and San him holding his laugh. “He talks a lot!” He defended himself. “There’s like a big mole on it, it’s hard not to notice it” San said in a pout.
“I’m not judging, but you know it’s not normal right? You don’t go around kissing people because their lips are distracting” Seonghwa said and San mumbled an embarrassed I know. “You need to apologize”
San groaned at that. He wanted to forget that ever happened, not address it.
“I’m serious, San. You don’t kiss people who are not willing, let alone for such a shitty reason. Besides, you need to work together. I bet you won’t get anything done with this on the way” Seonghwa reasoned and San let his body fall back on the bleacher looking up at the blue sky.
He knew the size of the elephant in the room but had no idea how to deal with it. But Seonghwa was right, he needed Wooyoung for his grades and was not about to let their efforts go to waste for one moment of impulsivity. Regretting all his life choices, San made his mind to talk with Wooyoung the next day.
+
Yeosang and Hongjoong were sitting at their usual spot when Wooyoung came storming in. He looked pissed but also kind of lost, what made both his friends share a confused look.
“You okay?” Yeosang asked when Wooyoung kept quiet after sitting.
“Not really. Do you think I can get away with murder?” Wooyoung asked, voice tight and breath intense, like he was on the brink of having a panic attack.
“Probably, yes. Who’s your victim?” Hongjoong entertained him.
“Choi San” Wooyoung said and rather than sounding annoyed, he sounded a bit broken.
“What did he do?”
“Well, there’s a looong list” Wooyoung said, sarcastically. “First, he’s annoying” He started, enumerating on his fingers. “He also accused me of being a fucking stalker, stole from me and then he kissed me!” Wooyoung said, almost screaming at the end of his explanation.
Yeosang, who choked on his drink looked at Wooyoung with bulging eyes and Hongjoong was still processing all the information.
“He kissed you?” Yeosang asked after he stopped coughing.
“Yeah, after he stole from me” Wooyoung said, petulant.
“Ok, can you backtrack a little bit? I’m not following” Hongjoong said, looking lost. “What exactly happened?”
“I bought this beautiful, handmade chocker yesterday but then I forgot it on the pet shelter after he insulted me and instead of giving back to me ha gave it to his girlfriend” Wooyoung said, all in one breath.
Yeosang and Hongjoong shared another charged look, reading on each other’s faces that Wooyoung was probably losing his mind.
“Why were you and San on a pet shelter?” Hongjoong asked, intrigued.
“I went to see the puppies! He was working or whatever” Wooyoung still sounded annoyed.
“Ok, so he found it and gave it to Arin?” Yeosang asked again, almost as if he was talking with a kid.
“Exactly! Asshole behavior much” Wooyoung mumbled.
“How are you sure is the same one?”
“She posted a picture with it!” Wooyoung said frustrated. “And he also admitted when I confronted him”
“You confronted him because of the chocker?” Hongjoong said like it was the dumbest thing he had ever heard. Wooyoung only nodded, a pout visible on his face. “What did he said?”
“He said he’s sorry for the misunderstanding but he can’t give it back to me because she’ll be heartbroken! Is it my fault that he’s a shitty boyfriend?” Wooyoung exclaimed and his friends shared another look, an unbelievable one this time.
“And when exactly did the kiss happened?” Yeosang asked this time.
“A few minutes ago” Wooyoung mumbled this one, tone dropping all of a sudden.
“And why?” Hongjoong asked, his brows furred in confusion.
“I don’t know. Don’t ask me what goes on inside his head” Wooyoung answered, defensively.
“So you were fighting and he suddenly kissed you?” Yeosang asked, looking at Hongjoong who was sniggering.
“Yeah? I mean, he was trying to be threatening, asking me to shut up and shit” Wooyoung said, almost nonchalant. “And then he kissed”
“He kissed you to shut you up?” Hongjoong said, this time not holding back his laughter.
“It’s not funny” Wooyoung said, deflating a bit.
“Of course it is! Choi San just kissed you and now you’re panicking” Yeosang said not hiding his own smile.
“I’m not panicking, oh my god”
Wooyoung was panicking, but just a bit.
First of all, he had never imagined himself kissing Choi San. Not even in his wildest dreams. San was somewhere untouchable, completely out of his zone. He was on the pedestal people liked to worship every day, in a path Wooyoung more than gladly avoided.
He and San were different, nothing about them seemed to go well together. Of course he could acknowledge that yes, San is handsome, he’s not stupid. Of course in a completely different setting he would be excited to share a kiss with him. But in their reality that was completely wrong.
Because San is a straight as they come.
Whatever had crossed his mind to make it look like a good idea to kiss Wooyoung at that moment, probably vanished as quick as it came. And Wooyoung knew only two things could happen in a situation like this: they could pretend nothing ever happened and move on from it, either continuing to meet each other until the month ended and complete their deal or stop altogether. The other option – and the one Wooyoung hated the most – is that what happened between them could backfire on him. And that was exactly what Wooyoung was planning to avoid.
Wooyoung already experienced that first hand. When Yeojun decided he was not ready to face his own inner demons, he unleashed them on Wooyoung to deal it with it alone. And what would prevent San from doing the same? He could be pretty much now telling all his friends how much of a freak Wooyoung was, trying to kiss him in secret. Wooyoung could feel the taste of trepidation. He had almost vivid memories of the time things were being said about him. It wouldn’t bother him as much as it did before, of course. He had managed to develop a thick skin. But he still feared. He was still praying to whatever god that was out there that San was not as much of an asshole as Wooyoung always judged him to be. He was hoping that, one last time, San would not meet his expectations again.
He could already hear the whispers, the judging eyes, the fingers pointing at him again. Imagining it happening again was as much as frightening as the memories he held with him. He could picture perfectly his name rolling around the football team, the countless jokes he would be the butt of once San would tell them his own version of the story. Wooyoung was definitely not ready to fight that battle again.
He knew people like San. They liked to be in control, liked to have the final say in everything. San would never take the risk of having that dirty little secret hanging above his head, Wooyoung thought.
Yeosang and Hongjoong noted Wooyoung’s discomfort and crowded around him, holding his hands.
“Hey, don’t over think it, ok?” Yeosang said, comforting. “It didn’t mean anything.”
Wooyoung had no idea what a kiss with Choi San could probably mean other than trouble. He wasn’t even thinking feelings. There were no feelings involved, they didn’t even knew each other. Whatever feelings Wooyoung first developed for San were not pleasant at all even if they had subsided with the time they had spent together. But they came back with full force with the chocker incident; all the misconceptions and ideals he held for Choi San. The kiss was a lapse, a mistake to deal with.
“It didn’t mean anything” Wooyoung breathed out, a certainty in his voice that was foreign on his own ears.
Notes:
yep.
Chapter Text
San spent the whole day debating with himself how to approach the situation he had at hand.
It was weird to just straight up talk about it? What would he even say, to begin with? “Hey man, sorry I kissed you” was the lamest thing he could think of.
But he needed to be ready. He only has one night’s sleep to think it through.
He hadn’t seen Wooyoung the whole day. He went home after practice with the weight of the world on his shoulders. He hasn’t been productive for the team, the coach called his attention four or five times before he could focus on the training. His mind kept floating back to Wooyoung and the way he had no idea what to do with him.
He knew Seonghwa was right and he owed his tutor an apology but something at the back of his mind kept telling him that nothing about that kiss was wrong. He tried to push that thought away but it was hard.
San is not a heartbreaker. He was not Mr. Popular back in high school so he was not the most experienced guy. And whatever changed in college that made him top that list, he wasn’t exactly available. It was only six months into his first year that he started dating Arin and, even if he was aware of the countless people dying to get a piece of him, he was not thriving in it. He never had to deal with rejection or acceptance before. He had one girlfriend in middle school and that was it. Nothing really exciting happened before Arin. So he sucked in talking feelings.
It’s not like he’s a caveman or something, he knows how to deal with people and do relationships. But what exactly was the relationship between San and Wooyoung? Tutor and student? They weren’t friends, barely acquaintances. So what should he say to the guy he spoke to less than five times in his life but managed to make him dumb enough to steal a kiss? He had no idea
-
Wednesday was a quiet affair for San.
He went on with his day lazily, trying to skip classes but being forced by his friends to watch it. Lunchtime came too soon for his liking and he was suddenly surrounded by loads of people again. The chatting was loud and it didn’t give him enough space to think. People noticed how he was halfheartedly joining their conversations happening all around and Arin asked if he was okay more times that he was comfortable with. After not even ten minutes of the whole affair, Seonghwa saved the day again.
“San, can you help me with that set piece the coach was talking about yesterday? I don’t think we’ll have the time after practice” The older asked, looking him directly in the eyes.
“Wha- yeah, sure!” San said after Seonghwa raised his eyebrows at him.
They went back to the same spot they sat the day prior on the bleachers.
“You seem… troubled” Seonghwa said while looking at San with a questioning expression.
“I don’t know what to do with the Wooyoung situation” San said.
Seonghwa was quiet for a few second, like he was pondering what to say next. “Look, are you sure that this is that easy to deal with it?” Seonghwa said and San peeked at him.
“What do you mean?” San asked.
“You spent a whole day stressing over something that shouldn’t mean shit. Are you sure that there’s nothing more to it?”
“I don’t know!” San said, frustrated. “The problem is that he’s not just anyone. I still have to see him for a couple more weeks and as you said, we have work to do. We were having a good time, things were easy on both ends and I don’t know what happens next. I still need him to pass my finals but I’m not sure he’d be willing to help if he’s hating my guts” San said, annoyed.
“You sure that’s your only problem?” Seonghwa said.
“What else could it possibly be?”
“I don’t know. But just last week you were not giving a damn about those lessons. What changed?”
“Maybe the fact the he’s actually helpful?” San said ironically. “He’s good at what he does, you know? He’s incredibly smart and thoughtful, he’s not rushing things for me even though we have so little time”
“Well, then you just need to talk to him. You’re both adults, act like it” Seonghwa said and started to get up. “If there’s something else, you’ll know it when you see it”
“What something else?” San said looking as Seonghwa started to walk away.
“I just have a feeling that you’ll want to kiss him again”
+
Wooyoung was confused more than he was upset.
After going home and sleeping the night away after the whole fiasco he had with San, Wooyoung woke up the next day with more answers than when he went to sleep.
Choi San was weird. He knew that from the very first moment. But the weirdness didn’t show itself in the way Wooyoung was expecting. San had a personality Wooyoung was familiar with and if Wooyoung had a nickel for every time San had done something that had Wooyoung smiling after, he would probably be five cents richer. Wooyoung had been prepared for star player Choi San but that was not who San brought to the time they spent together. But Wooyoung had a feeling that, no matter what version, Choi San was as loyal as a dog. And that made a red flag appear in his head.
San was faithful that much everyone knew. Faithful to his team, his friends, his girlfriend. Faithful to his position, to the captain image people had of him. And Wooyoung was aware that he was not in that mix. He and San barely knew each other, had no obligations with one another after their classes ended. There was no connection whatsoever between them. So why in the world a moment that lasted less than 10 seconds had him chewing on his nails for so long?
Wooyoung was used to casual hook ups. Half of his experience had been based on it. He was not unfamiliar to a kiss goodbye and that had never been a problem for him. He was also used to want people he couldn’t have – even though that didn’t happen much, he knew how to play his game – and that also was not a bother. But two things had been topping his “what the fuck” list ever since Choi San had the audacity of kissing him:
1 – He may have been more attracted to Choi San than he was aware of.
2 – San was the one who kissed him.
And that second reason was making him want to tear his hair out in frustration.
Wooyoung was in peace with being attracted to San. He was just an ordinary man and just like everyone else, he could see that San had it. Was in on the field or out of it, San knew how to charm his way around people and that was ok, Wooyoung was once like that as well. What made Wooyoung roll his eyes was the fact that San had not tried that with him. He had been insufferable and annoying ever since they first met. It was obvious for Wooyoung that San was a goofyball at heart and all the wet haired, muscle man performance was just a façade to keep the attention on him. San probably thought he would lose people’s respect if they saw him doing his nerdy, comic book jokes. There was not a moment that San tried to win him over but the opposite, actually. He had tried to shoo Wooyoung away in the very first class they had.
And Wooyoung knew there was a reason for it, he couldn’t even be angry at him. If it was anyone else, he wouldn’t give two fucks and go on his merry way without even look back. Bu he could see just how devoted San was to who people made of him. He probably had a few words said about him behind his back, a few comments about being the golden boy and needing help. Wooyoung saw the way his teammates looked at him sniggering when Wooyoung approached their lunch table the day prior; he knew how much unholy things could get out of jocks mouth’s.
But San was a jock himself. Even if he had not been downright repulsive and had made Wooyoung look at him in a different light for a few days, that was still San’s element. He was at home when he was in a locker room full of sweat boys and smelling gear. That thought did not escape Wooyoung’s head not even for a second. So why would San risk it? Why would he kiss Wooyoung of all people, in the middle of the day where anyone could see? That was bugging the hell out of Wooyoung.
San was not the type to get in trouble, Wooyoung knew that. He had never seen the boy’s name rolling around for being a jerk, or getting into fights. Hongjoong and Yeosang also helped to keep him in the loop of other people’s lives so he knew San was responsible and dependant. He would never do something dangerous just for the sake of it, he had things to lose.
Wooyoung sighed when he arrived home after another morning full of classes. He was tired and annoyed. He couldn’t focus on half of his classes and his friends had been bugging him about San for the whole day so just took off after lunch to prepare for meeting San in a few hours. Wooyoung had no idea if San would even show up to their classes so he tried to spend the rest of his night trying to focus on the work he had lacked the whole day. He wasn’t exactly successful but managed to finish what was more important and get San’s next class ready. If the player would show up or not was a different story.
+
It was half past four and San had just a few minutes to make up his mind.
Seonghwa had been giving him looks for the entire day and Yunho had also noticed something was off about him. Yunho was the type to just stick close until you opened up and San couldn’t help but smile when he noticed his friend glued to his side the whole day, protecting him without even realizing. San was lucky for having met such amazing people in his life and for being able to befriend them even with his awkwardness.
“You won’t go?” Seonghwa slid in beside him after finishing his shower.
San was slacking off. He was just stuffing and taking things out of his bag for ten minutes now just to buy time. Yunho heard Seonghwa’s question and sat down beside San. He hadn’t told anyone else besides Seonghwa but it was not like Yunho – or Jongho for that matter – knowing would be a problem. Maybe another head thinking together would give him a solution that he didn’t have yet.
“Go where?” Yunho asked while tying his shoelaces. Seonghwa gave San a look and he just shrugged.
“To his class with Wooyoung” Seonghwa said and leaned back on the locker room behind him, looking at San with squinted eyes.
“Gave up already? I noticed he wasn’t really happy with you Monday morning, though. What happened?”
“San kissed him” Seonghwa said nonchalant.
San took a deep breath and thanked the gods Seonghwa was smart enough to start that conversation when he was sure they were alone. He would not, in a million years, want rumors spreading about him and Wooyoung, and he knew his teammates enough to know they would never deny the public of a juicy gossip. But San was more worried about Yunho reaction at the moment. He stopped tying his shoes middle way, body still in the same position but hands not moving. San and Seonghwa were quiet, both looking at him waiting for something.
That something was a low chuckle after Yunho resumed what he was doing. “So it was a lovers quarrel or what?” He said with his playful tone and San released the breath he didn’t know he was holding.
“What lovers?” San mumbled slapping the back of Yunho’s head.
The taller boy sat straight before looking at him and Seonghwa. “But what happened? Things are not okay with Arin?”
San loved Yunho with a passion. That guy was everything people could ever want in a friend. That included being blatantly honest sometimes. San was trying not to think about Arin and everything that included his relationship with her for the last two days, but Yunho had to make him remember that.
“Is all great with her, that’s not the problem” San said while pushing his hands through his hair, stressed.
“So what?” Yunho insisted, still wanting an answer.
“He said he kissed him to shut him up or something” Seonghwa answered with a mocking tone and San gave him a light kick in the shin that only made the older snort.
Yunho own snort joined Seonghwa’s not even a minute later.
“But he also has some obsession for Wooyoung’s lips, it seems, so I don’t really know” Seonghwa finished and San low whiny voice saying he’s not obsessed thank you very much could barely be heard.
Yunho laughed this time and San was pissed. Why everyone laughs at his misery?
“It’s just like San though, his gay awakening being the guy he was talking shit not even two weeks ago” Yunho said and he could see Seonghwa smug expression growing somehow.
“My what?” San asked, scandalized.
“Your gay awakening” Seonghwa repeated as if doubting San to question him again.
“That’s not what’s happening” San said, feeling his cheeks growing warm for some reason.
“Yes, it is. That’s why you’re freaking out” Seonghwa said and Yunho nodded his head in agreement.
“No, that’s not it, at all. It was just a heat of the moment kind of thing” He denied again and saw Yunho rolling his eyes.
“San, you had countless opportunities to have a “heat of the moment kind of thing” with countless girls who throw themselves at you. You never even blinked or looked at them twice. So why this person in particular? What does this Wooyoung guy have that made you kiss him, for whatever reason you think you did?”
And San couldn’t answer that. He really couldn’t because he had no idea himself. He already stopped pretend that he would have done the same thing with anyone else, he was not stupid. There was something, about Wooyoung or the moment they were in, he wasn’t really sure, that made San want to kiss him. But that was stupid and San was 100% not okay with that fact. He has a perfectly kissable girlfriend, he shouldn’t want to kiss anyone else.
But there was something with Wooyoung and his big, cherry red lips that haunted San’s deep thoughts.
“Look I really don’t have anything against having a gay awakening, I think that actually already happened when I was in sixth grade or something” San said and pretend not to notice the look his friends shared. “But that’s not what’s happening, okay? I… It’s not” San denied vehemently.
“You wanted to kiss him, yes or no?” Seonghwa asked and San was about to refute. “No, don’t give me this shit. I don’t want to hear your reasons again. Just be honest, with us and yourself. You wanted to kiss him?”
“Yes” San said in a whisper, head hanging low.
“There you have it. It’s not that hard” Seonghwa said.
“Of course it’s hard, Seonghwa. I have a girlfriend” San said, annoyed.
“But you’re also a human being with a functioning pair of eyes. It’s not a crime to be attracted to someone else, San” Yunho said.
San is not ready to talk about this. Not about him and his own feelings or about what that means to his relationship, be it his romantic one with Arin or his professional one with Wooyoung. He just needed a break from the questions and confusion on his mind so he could settle for what would be the best. But they seemed to follow him everywhere, even in his sleep. Not talking about it was also taking a tool on him so San was not exactly sure what is the best thing to do.
“So what does that makes me? Having a girlfriend and being attracted to the guy I have to meet three times a week to save my ass?” San said.
“It makes you just another guy, San. I get that you’re not used to it, Arin is your first proper girlfriend and it sucks that things are not exactly picture perfect right now, but it’s completely normal to have that phase in a relationship. It doesn’t mean you have to break up with her. It’s just a problem if you allowed it to be” Seonghwa said, sitting beside him.
“Look, you only need to meet Wooyoung for a couple more weeks, right? After that nothing will bind you guys together anymore” Yunho said, a comforting hand on San’s shoulder.
“And you’re not even sure of that, actually. He’s pissed at you, was even before the kiss. You have two choices: make up with him and still have your classes to make sure you’ll have our backs in the game or just let it go, don’t meet him again and try the finals by yourself” Seonghwa said seriously and San took a deep breath.
San was not exactly the one who liked to have his options so narrowed down, but there it was, one or another. He just needs to make up his mind.
+
Wooyoung was almost half an hour earlier even if he was almost certain San wouldn’t show up.
He set everything up and went back to leisurely look at his phone even if his eyes unconsciously kept looking at the entrance every now and again.
It’s been a whole day since he last saw San and he was relieved. No one seemed to look at him any differently or anything so he was sure the player hadn’t been running his mouth about him or anything between them.
Wooyoung knew that was the best option for the both of them, of course. San had a girlfriend who definitely wouldn’t be too happy to hear her pears talking about her boy kissing someone else behind her back. And Wooyoung could only benefit from San perfect record and pretend nothing ever happened. He would still play his part since he was being paid for that after all. So it was up to San how to deal with the rest.
Less than five minutes before 4pm, the discreet screech from the main door of the library caught Wooyoung’s attention once again. San was walking up to him in slow, almost deliberate steps. Their eyes met when the player was halfway through the table and Wooyoung couldn’t look away. San wasn’t smiling or with a relaxed, amicable expression Wooyoung’s got used to see. He was serious, almost contemplative as he sat down in front of Wooyoung, who broke eye contact first.
As Wooyoung looked for the right slide to start the class, he could still feel San’s eyes on him. It was hard not to when the player was so insistent, almost demanding him to look back. When Wooyoung refused, he heard an audible sigh and something being put on the table in front of him.
Wooyoung peeked up, not really looking at what it was. It was a small pouch that looked like it was made of velvet. Wooyoung felt compelled to touch but choose not to when he heard San’s voice speaking to him.
“I know you said you didn’t want a replacement” San began, voice low and almost shy. “And is okay if you don’t want to accept but I’m really sorry for what happened”
Wooyoung knew there was another collar inside the pouch. San was right when he said Wooyoung wouldn’t accept it, though. He had made it clear enough that the problem was not the belonging or anything, but the way San dealt with it. Wooyoung was stubborn and whiny at times, but if they had just talked it out, he would be fine and no harm would have been made. But San just opted to play the alpha male on him and that Wooyoung couldn’t accept. So his apologies did nothing to appease Wooyoung. And honestly, that fucking choker was not the biggest problem they had.
“Keep it” Wooyoung said, managing to sound cold and annoyed. It wasn’t really hard. “You ready to start?” Wooyoung said and made eye contact with San for the first time since he sat down.
San had a crease on his forehead, looking almost conflicted. His eyes were smaller than usual, and he seemed tired. Wooyoung tried not to think about the way he seemed tired.
“Can’t we at least talk about it?” San said.
“Talk about what exactly, San?” Wooyoung asked, voice almost bitter. “This?” He motioned to the velvet pouch on the table. “Or the way you were an asshole yesterday?”
“Don’t pin all of this one me!” San said in a loud whisper.
“You think it’s my fault, then?” Wooyoung said, flabbergasted. “Because that is exactly what you do, isn’t it? Try and play the victim when things don’t go your way? I’m not a part of you fanclub, San. I know you’re used to do whatever you want, use people whenever you please, but I’m not here for it. You won’t get to tell me what to do or what to say according to your wishes, I’m not one of your minions. You did me wrong and I won’t coddle you about it or play it cool because it’s you, it means nothing to me. I know you’re used to never being held accountable for the shit you do but you chose the wrong person to mess with” Wooyoung said almost all in one breath and could see the way San’s face was getting redder by the minute.
“You’re really self-centered, you know? You talk a lot of shit as if you know me, but I’m not the only one who thinks too highly of myself here, am I? You preach a lot about knowing me, but you’re so predictable yourself, Wooyoung, its almost funny. You said I use people, right?” San said with a mocking laugh. “People do things for me because they like me not because I force them. I couldn’t say the same about you, right? Who have willingly approached you for something, Wooyoung?” San said and Wooyoung could hear the venom on his voice. “You put yourself so high on your pedestal that you think no one is worth it. And for what? Because of this?” San said judgmental looking at the material spread on the table. “Anyone who bothered to put up the effort could do as good as you, maybe even better. And I bet a lot of them wouldn’t think they’re so mighty for something so mundane”
San had touched subjects Wooyoung’s been trying to burrow for a long time now. He knew the imagine people had of him but also knew what made him paint it, what made him be aware and cautious of the way he is perceived by people. San would not storm into his life to poke at wounds he tried so hard to heal.
“I hope you’re ready to put up the effort, then” Wooyoung said as he started to pack his things. San breath was steady but heavy, arms crossed in front of his chest and his eyes trained on him. “You know what” Wooyoung said when he finished and San was still silently looking at him. “Thank you. I really thought I would be gladly surprised about you but you showed me your true colors just in time” He said mockingly while fixing his bag on his shoulder.
“It’s not my life goal to meet your expectations, Wooyoung” San said and his tone was not as icy as Wooyoung thought it would be.
“That was the first time you did” Wooyoung said in a whisper and left without looking back.
Notes:
well, shit went down.
i want to make a few observations about this chapter but first of all
thank you guys so much for the 100+ kudos, omg! your support means the world to me and make writing this story a really enjoyable time.
that being said, let's talk about two points in this story.
wooyoung has traumas, that much is obvious. he was outed against his will and even if he tries really hard, is something that still affects him. and of course this story is completely up to your interpretation, i don't want to dictate how you guys should ready it or who to root for, but i know you pick sides lol. so i just want to remind you guys that wooyoung is judgmental towards san because he reminds him of the person who hurt him in the past so he makes comparisions and even if it's not okay, it happens with the best of us.
and san is scared. not about feeling things for someone, but because he is not used to it. i'll probably develop this better in the next chapters but san was not exactly thriving in high school so he just has too much now and don't know how to deal with it. and fucking it up in any aspect is terrying for him.
i just wanted to make you guys understand their personalities a little better because im not sure im doing a good job on portraying it and i hope it'll help understand a little better where the two of them are coming from.
thank u once again, stay safe x
Chapter Text
There was a moment in San’s life where he wished he had disappeared.
Kind of normal for any teenager, actually. But San really did act on it. He waited until his grandparents fell asleep and took off with the little cash he managed to save from his small allowance and a backpack full of clothes. He had no destination, nowhere to go or someone to see. He just wished to be alone, just him and – unfortunately – his thoughts.
The thing with San is that he’s a bubbly little guy. He is the kind of kid that wouldn’t willingly say he’s having a bad day, trying to see the bright side on everything. He thanked his grandparents for it, honestly. They always gave all they had to make him a great person and in those 16 years he had been roaming around life, San think they did a good job.
But sometimes he wishes they didn’t. Sometimes San would like to be different, to be a little more assertive, a little more certain. San don’t think he lacks will, of course, he’s always trying to be the best in all he could, but sometimes he just wanted to be bad. Not a bad person, one who people would avoid or someone too detached that doesn’t care about someone else’s feelings, but just knowing how to say no would be a great feature for him.
And San had tried, more than once. But that was not in his nature. He was just so tired of people seeing his as naïve, passive. Weak even. That was not the person San longed to be. He wanted to be the guy everyone likes, because he just has so much love to give. He’s brilliant at it, honestly. He’s loved by everyone who knows him and he knows he’s good enough to have a shit ton of friends, but he just don’t know how.
He’s an okay kid in school, he has this one guy that always hangs out with him and he couldn’t complain because Eunwoo is great. But he’s so tired of seeing people laughing and running to hug their friends and talking about parties and night outs and never being a part of it. He’s jealous of that they have. So sometimes he feels like he’s not enough to live life like he was supposed to. So he runs and runs until his feet brings him back home again, to where his grandparents would still be asleep, waiting for another day to come to pat him in the head and wish him a good day, with lots of fun at school. Because that’s all he knows.
-
San thinks about going home after Wooyoung left but he thought better of it. He was still fuming, at Wooyoung and himself. There was no way someone could be so infuriating, San thought. Wooyoung talked about anything with an expertise that people who didn’t know him would never peg him wrong. San could only clap in his mind because he certainly would be a great lawyer; he could bullshit his way into anything. But San wasn’t having it.
Wooyoung could be as a smart ass as he wanted to, but San would not subject himself to his mindless ramble just because. He knew Wooyoung was being a great help, but the boy needed to know his place. No one ever went at San with such misplaced anger the way Wooyoung did. San never wanted things to escalate to another fight and had met him with the intention of apologizing and he did it. Wooyoung was just too much of an asshole to accept.
He wouldn’t say he was oblivious to the problem, though. Wooyoung was not wrong in being pissed at him and of course he could understand that, San wouldn’t like to force the situation and make it worse. But Wooyoung was the one who started throwing rocks at him talking shit that was not true.
San knew he had a reputation but never in the two years he had been carrying around his oh so called position, he had done something to upset someone else. He may be an asshole to opponents on the field and sometimes get in fights like every other player but that was that. No one around campus had a thing to say about him that was not made up rumors, he had a clean conscience about that. So Wooyoung just made up his own image about him and went around saying it like it was true and San definitely wouldn’t have it.
It didn’t matter if Wooyoung looked good with a crease on his forehead or if he’s voice went a tone down when he was mad. San had not focused on that but rather just noticed because it was right in front of him.
So San had made up his mind. Wooyoung was the one who started the fight and the first one to walk away; he was not at fault here. So be it; one less thing for him to worry about. The distance would only do him good.
-
The field was the place San found himself in after he walked away from the library. He waited ten or so minutes just to make sure he wouldn’t bump into Wooyoung anymore and went on his way. The campus was empty safe for the science building with their late afternoon classes.
San arrived at the field and mindlessly took off his shirt and changed shoes before starting to run. The exercise would tire him out enough to stop thinking about Wooyoung and the things he said. San knew it wasn’t true, he knew it was just a misconception Wooyoung and his judgmental, corny ass had of him. But even so, something at the back of his mind was not at peace with it. And that’s why he needed to stop thinking about the matter. That’s why he ran until his legs gave out. Or else he would set his mind on making Wooyoung change his views on him and that was not a good idea. Distance was what he needed, not an excuse to see his tutor even more.
San dragged himself to the locker room after he was soaked wet from his own sweat. His legs were on fire and he was still trying to catch his breath. He went down the stairs two steps at time and only realized he was not alone when he caught two people staring at him.
Jongho and another boy were also down in the lockers. San knew the guy was familiar but the position was not exactly beneficial for him. San was at the edge of the stairs and the Jongho and the boy with him were sitting on the first bench near the showers entrance. Actually, Jongho was the one sitting on the bench. The boy was sitting on – straddling – Jongho’s thighs, back to San before realizing they weren’t alone anymore.
Jongho locked eyes with San and with the same Jongho expression ever, as if nothing in the world bothered him, he gave a light tap on the guy’s own thighs and the boy sat facing forward, now only occupying one of Jongho’s legs. And now that San could see his face, he knew why he was familiar. San had seen him around countless times, not just on campus but also on the internet. Yeosang was a pretty ads model, but also one of the two people Wooyoung seemed to know. And he was making out with one of San’s best friends. That was not a development that San had seeing coming.
San was naturally an awkward person, so it was just normal for him to stutter on his own words and look at anywhere but his friend when he realized he had interrupted a moment.
“Why are you here so late?” Jongho asked, Yeosang still prettily sat on him as if it was a normal occurrence. Maybe it was.
“Night practice” San said, still fazed.
“Weren’t you supposed to be with Wooyoung right now?” He heard Yeosang ask and was a bit taken aback. He had never talked with the guy before and having him speak directly to him in this specific moment was a bit weird for him. But just the mention of said boy’s best friend annoyed San again.
“Thank God I’m not” San said and rolled his eyes, strolling to the showers.
He decided he wouldn’t care or ask about whatever was going between the two sitting there, it wasn’t his business. But they both seemed like they wanted to chat – or just be nosy, who knows.
“Did you fight again?” Yeosang said again and San furrowed his eyebrows. Of course he shouldn’t be surprise Yeosang knows about what happened, he is one if Wooyoung’s best friends.
“He fought me, is different” San said.
“He wasn’t wrong the first time, though” Yeosang contemplative and San rolled his eyes again.
“Of course you’d think that, he’s your friend” San said and started to take off his shoes to take a much needed cold shower. He needed to cool down.
“I call Wooyoung on his bullshit all the time though” Yeosang said but San wasn’t looking at him, focusing on his shoes, trying to pretend he was alone so he wouldn’t have to entertain the conversation.
“Seonghwa hyung told me you went to apologize, though. What happened?” Jongho said and San thought his eyes would be permanently placed at the back of his head at this point. Of course Seonghwa told him.
“He’s an asshole, that’s what happened. Honestly” San said, looking at Yeosang now. The blonde boy was looking at him with an expression San couldn’t really decipher. “You should tell your friend to work on his issues if he wants more people other than you and that other friend of yours to tolerate him. No one likes a smug goody two shoes like him” San said and turned around to go shower. He could hear a rustle behind him and before entering the shower box, he heard Yeosang icy voice.
“You don’t know shit, Choi San”
Whatever, San thought. That was not his friend and not his problem.
+
Wooyoung arrived home feeling something that he hasn’t felt for a long time.
He was sad.
It’s not like he’s unfamiliar with the feeling, not at all. But it has been quite a while since he properly felt like this. The hollow in his chest and the weird pressure on his airways from the tears that Wooyoung wasn’t allowing to fall came more easily than he remembered.
But sadness had been something foreign for a while now. Wooyoung had tried really hard to bury that specific emotion and he was happy with the outcome, he had been doing a good job at being in control of his feelings.
So why would Choi San, of all people, come in and disturb his perfectly planned life?
One of his personality traits that Wooyoung hates the most is how stubborn he can be. Sometimes in high school he would go on long and heated discussions with his friends about topics such as anime and things would get so out of hand that they would spend an entire week without talking with each other because Wooyoung just couldn’t let go. He tries really hard to keep that in check now because he’s aware of just how much of an asshole he can become, but he just can’t stand the sensation of being wronged.
Wooyoung was surprised with the Choi San he came to meet, but he knew it wouldn’t last. He knew a lot of San’s and the way they worked. Everything that San came to be when they were together came tumbling down like a sandcastle with just a couple of words and Wooyoung couldn’t even say he was surprised. It was bound to happen sooner or later.
San was nobody to him, just a person he happened to meet in one specific situation and that he wouldn’t even think twice if it wasn’t for the circumstances. San doesn’t know shit about him. Wooyoung knew he shouldn’t take anything regarding San to heart, but he couldn’t take lightly to have his insecurities thrown at his face like that.
Wooyoung let out a heavy breath after getting out of the steamy bathroom. Not even a warm shower could make the unsettling feeling at the pit of his stomach go away.
Who have willingly approached you for something, Wooyoung?
That phrase was planted like a billboard in Wooyoung’s mind.
He knew he shouldn’t think twice about it, San knew nothing. He just couldn’t appear on his life like that to make him face everything he tried so hard to leave behind. San didn’t have any right.
But he did anyways and Wooyoung now had to start picking the pieces that San threw off back again. It was just one sentence, from someone that was supposed to make him feel close to nothing, but it hurt like a bitch.
Wooyoung knew he was confident. Sometimes it was even uncalled for the amount of cockiness he could exude. He knows he’s good at doing what he puts himself up to and is not embarrassed of it. But he used to be worse with the showing of, he used to be that kind of friend that always has something to brag about, the one that always has a story up their sleeves that makes at least one or two listeners wishing they had his life.
But things crumbled down fast in high school after Yeojun.
Wooyoung thought a lot about that period of his life. Being outed was bad but the thought of not being worth of Yeojun was what broke him.
He was in love at that time. Wooyoung would do anything for him and Yeojun used to promise him the world. It was hushed, always in a hidden corner between make out sessions, but it warmed Wooyoung’s heart. It made him feel special; it made him feel worth it.
But suddenly Yeojun was out of the picture, was accusing him of things that never crossed his mind. For a while, Wooyoung thought that he was the problem, he thought he was too demanding or too clingy; thought that maybe if he gave him space Yeojun would come back. But he didn’t and things just got worse. Rumors started to spread and Yeojun only looked at him with disgust.
After that his once so high confidence vanished. He felt small, worthless. Nothing could prepare him for being rejected for someone he held so dear in his heart and that voiced time and time again just how much he meant. He left the agency he was a trainee not long after that and became the shell of the person he once was.
It took a while for Wooyoung to understand that none of it was his fault. Yeojun was not ready to come to terms with his own self and took the easy way out, putting the target on someone else’s back. Wooyoung thought for a while that he could wait, that he could be there for Yeojun the moment he felt ready to be true to himself but he realized later that that moment would probably never come.
Meeting Hongjoong and Yeosang was a catalyst for Wooyoung to get out of the whole he crawled into. He was depressed for a while after everything happened, could not see a reason to pursue anything anymore since the only two things he had put all his effort in turned their back at him in the end. But his friends were a blessing and helped him get back on his feet again. Yeosang heard him countless times and Hongjoong advices made the light at the end of tunnel shine brighter so Wooyoung could finally make his way out.
But the person that saw the light again was not even half of the person that Wooyoung was when the darkness came.
Wooyoung was careful around people now. He was careful with his actions, his words, the way he treated them was planned. He never wanted a repeat of high school, that part of his life and sealed for good. So of course people would give him looks, he knew it was inevitable. He knew that once or twice people looked at him and saw someone empty.
But he crafted that image to perfection. The distant, detached and aloof person that you only see busy with work, that couldn’t care less for the social circle that spun around him. The person that wouldn’t want to be part of a group and was always stuck with the same two friends that he was lucky to have; the quiet, almost rude guy that sat in front of the class, always an answer at the tip of his tongue. The kind of student the others would go to when they a have doubt or would be too scared to approach.
That was him. The new and hollow him.
And he was happy with that. He ld earned to live like this was happy with the way he and everybody else perceived him. He was not looking for a clique, wasn’t desperately wanting to fit somewhere. He knew his place and was glad for it. He would never again try to fit in a place with no space for him. And that’s how he saw the rest of the world around; just a bunch of open spaces that he would never fit.
And Choi San’s words were just a bitter reminder of that person he used to be. The one full of life that would probably be friends with the whole football team, cheerleaders included. That would be at the after parties making out with whoever he chose for the night. It reminded him of that someone who was not worth it.
And Wooyoung swore to never go back there. To never let the darkness make itself present again because it was too easy to let it engulf him. It was familiar, the sensation was overwhelmed. He fought his way back up but the fall was so easy that letting himself go seemed only logical. Just one step further in the wrong direction and he would gladly received the emptiness back.
But he knew better. He knew that he went through worse than Choi San and his lack of responsibility. He was mad at him because of the collar, confused because of the kiss, and sad because of his words. That was too many emotions for one single person. Choi San was taking him out of his axis and that sure wasn’t a good thing.
-
Wooyoung was putting his bowl of ramyeon in the sink when his doorbell rang. The only people that could go up to his apartment unannounced where Yeosang and Hongjoong so he wasn’t surprised when the both of them where standing in the hallway when he opened his door.
Yeosang’s face was worried and even if he was a master at concealing his emotions with his perfect sculpted face, Wooyoung knew him enough to know he was distressed with something. And Hongjoong seemed angry. Like a little, feral kitten.
“What happened?” Wooyoung asked after he let them in.
“What did San said to you?” Yeosang asked after throwing himself in the couch with a huff. Hongjoong sat by his side and made space for Wooyoung to sit in between them. That looked like one of those conversations where he would be scolded.
But Wooyoung was a bit confused. He didn’t mention anything about the fight to neither of them so the impromptu question was a little weird.
“I saw him when he was supposed to be with you for the classes and he said a lot of shit” Yeosang explained.
Wooyoung sighed and sat in the middle of his best friends to start and explain everything.
It took him a while of choosing his words and a lot of pats in the back from Hongjoong until he managed to say everything, ever since what happened until the way he was feeling because of it.
“I know I also said a lot of things about him that I shouldn’t have but I just couldn’t take the way he was nonchalant about it. And then he tried to make it seem like this is my fault I lost it. I’m not happy with the way I handled things but I think is for the best, right?” Wooyoung said and took a long breath after.
His friends remained silent for a while and Hongjoong was the first one to speak a few heartbeats later.
“You know what the problem is with the both of you?” He asked and Wooyoung looked at him. “You took each other out of your comfort zones. You said so yourself that you said a lot of shit to him as well, so is really anyone at fault here?” Wooyoung wanted to protest but Hongjoong continued. “If anything, both of you are to blame, you know that. The kiss confused you and I could bet a kidney that it did the same with him. You’re projecting on him, Woo. His not Yeojun and we’re not in high school anymore. Of course you shouldn’t let him blind you because he’s still Choi San who has a girlfriend and never gave any signs to play for our team. But he’s not this devil you’re making him out to be”
“I get that you’re scared of this. But I really can’t see San using something like this against anyone. And he sure as hell doesn’t look like the type to spread lies around just to see it catch fire” Yeosang said. “I was pissed at him earlier because I know you and I know what happened. But he doesn’t. Of course you can be sad about the things he said, you have all the right. But he wasn’t aware of just how deep this goes for you. The same way you have no idea if the things you said to him may have an impact. Don’t let this become something you’ll regret later. You told us that he seems like a good guy. All of this was just a misunderstanding and I think it’s worth a proper explanation”
Wooyoung sat there quietly listening to his friends advices. He knew they weren’t wrong. He was judging San based on his own experiences and always expecting the worst of him because that’s all Wooyoung knows. The only person he ever allowed to get close enough to break him didn’t bat an eyelash when he did.
So what was really Choi San? Not a friend, not an acquaintance. But not exactly just the guy he was tutoring. What happened between them was a series of misfortunes that landed them in this neck deep hurtful words and angry faces. But that’s not who Wooyoung is, even with the grumpy exterior. And if that kiss, that silly, three seconds kiss made him so anxious, made him think about it so much that he was daydreaming and repeating the moment in his mind even against his will, what does that makes of him?
Wooyoung had literally zero answers to that.
+
It was 5am when San rolled out of bed.
He had a terrible night’s sleep and couldn’t stay in bed any longer. The sheets were too hot for his liking even if the temperature outside was not quite like it.
The sky was only starting to show a few shades of blue, barely there yet. The night was just about to finish but San was about to start. His day was about to be more of the same: going out for a run in the morning, classes after that and practice. After it he was supposed to meet Wooyoung.
But that wouldn’t be happening. The latter made it very clear the day before that their tutoring sessions were over and San was not exactly sure how he felt about it. What made him mad about this whole mess is that he knew he wasn’t upset for the right reasons. The only excuse he had to see Wooyoung were the classes and now they were done.
San knew things were wrong between them. Wooyoung told him things that reached him on personal level and he was not quite ready to hear. He knew most of it wasn’t even true, but he couldn’t deny that he was scared. The way Wooyoung perceived him was what San was more afraid of. Of being just that, a title and a pretty face.
San always wanted what he has now. Wanted the friends, the parties, the girl. He wanted the main character life and that’s exactly what he’s living, so why would he feel like this because the guy he met last month said some bitter, anger driven words to him?
While running that morning, San kept thinking about what he should do. He tried to apologize and that didn’t go well. He could go again and try to talk things out, say he was doing it for the sake of his grades and his team. Or he could do nothing. But that thought went just as fast as it came. There was that irrational part of him that wanted to see Wooyoung again. Not from afar sitting with his friends, not in the corridors by chance. He wanted to be with him, listening to his voice, seeing the way he explained something so enthusiastically with his whole body and the way he smirked when San made a correct point on something or answered something right. He wanted to see him lick his lips in concentration and that mole underneath his eyes disappearing when he smiled at some joke San attempt to make because his subconscious knew even before he did that Wooyoung should smile more.
But he knew he couldn’t do as he pleased. Not when so many people were watching him. He’s the male lead here, he has obligations. He has to win the game and get the girl. He can give himself the luxury of wanting an adventure. So he didn’t.
Classes were as boring as they always were. The only subjects that San actually liked were the ones the teachers didn’t look like they would rather be eating shit then standing there. When he could actually comprehend and connect with what was being said. But he had none of those classes today so he sucked up for the time being.
One of the classes he has today is one that he shares with Wooyoung. He completely forgot that and when he arrived in the classroom, running because he was almost late, Wooyoung was already there, sat at the front with his things neatly organized on his chair. San stopped on his tracks but Wooyoung didn’t spare him a glance. He was focused on writing something and San leaned on the wall beside the door, pretending to catch his breath to watch for a little longer.
God, San wanted to kiss him again. Properly this time; wanted to hold him and kiss him with no rush, wanted to taste and explore every bit of him. San wanted to trap him in his arms and kiss him until they had no idea anymore where one began and the other ended.
“You’re staring, idiot” That was Seonghwa’s voice and San straightened himself up, letting out a fake cough.
Seonghwa was shaking his head with a knowing smile and grabbed San by the shoulders dragging him to his seat. He made sure to pass by Wooyoung table on the way.
“Hi, Wooyoungie” Seonghwa said with that sweet voice of his and the other boy looked up a bit startled, probably not expecting someone to talk to him so affectionately like Seonghwa tried to do. Wooyoung nodded his head once in acknowledgment and went back to what he was doing but San could see the furrow between his eyebrows in confusion.
When they sat at the back of the classroom, out of ears shot, Seonghwa turned to him.
“Jongho told me things didn’t go well yesterday” He said and San rolled his eyes. Did his friends not have something else to talk about besides him?
“Yeah, we fought again” San said, trying to sound nonchalant.
“Why? You said you’re sorry, didn’t you?” Seonghwa asked with a confused expression.
“Yes, I even gave him another necklace but he didn’t want it” San said.
“San, that fucking necklace is the least of your problems” Seonghwa said in a scolding tone.
Argh, San knew that! He knew that Wooyoung wanted him to address the kiss, he knew he should but how could he? He should say that he was sorry for the way it happened but he would probably make a fool of himself and ask for another one in the end.
“You can’t pretend like it didn’t happen” Seonghwa said, tone a bit softer now.
“I can try” San mumbled under his breath.
“No, you can’t. Not when you’re daydreaming while looking at him like you were just now”
“You’re exaggerating” San said while a scowl.
“No, I’m not” Seonghwa’s voice was harder now. “San, I’m not in your head but you’re incredibly easy to read. I know what you want but I also know that you can’t do it. But that’s not his fault. You’re not the kind of guy that goes around fighting people just for the sake of it”
“I know!” San said, frustrated. “But it’s better like this, right? We don’t have to see each other anymore and this… need goes away eventually” San said and let his head hang out.
He didn’t want, or liked one bit to have to act like this. He wasn’t exactly sorry for the things he said to Wooyoung, even if he knew he had been harsh, because the other guy also said some pretty hurtful words, but that was not who he was. Wooyoung just extract the worst of him and San was ashamed of himself. That was a pretty low defensive mechanism and they were better than that. San could see how upset his tutor was with the whole situation, before and after the fight and he was dying to make it right, to apologize and see Wooyoung do that stupid arrogant face at him again when he finally admitted defeat on something but he couldn’t. San could not putting himself through being with him.
“You don’t ignore a problem until it disappears, San”
“So what exactly do you want me to do?” San said, angry this time. “Go there, apologize and make things right with him to go and pretend I don’t want to kiss him stupid every time I see his fucking face?!”
“San…” Seonghwa started but San interrupted him.
“I have a girlfriend, Seonghwa. You said so yourself, I can’t do this” San said with a finality tone in his voice and Seonghwa just nodded, turning to face the front in silence.
San let his head hit the table with a low bang and stayed like this until the class was over.
-
Practice was almost done when San noticed Jongho was gone.
He didn’t think too much of it, knowing his teammate probably already went to take dibs on a shower. They were only stretching now so San let it pass.
After a few more minutes, the locker room was swarmed with people, some already ready to go home and others waiting for the chance to shower. San was already done and was tying his shoelaces when something was thrust at his face.
“Here” He heard Jongho’s voice.
San looked up to see his friend still wearing his practice gear. San thought he was already home. He looked at what Jongho’s was holding on his direction. “What’s this?” San asked.
“You can clearly see that it’s a flash drive” Jongho said mockingly.
“Why are you giving me a flash drive?” San asked, rolling his eyes.
“It’s not mine, I’m just delivering” Jongho said, shrugging his shoulders.
“Can you stop talking in riddles?” San heard Seonghwa saying and cold hear the scowl on his voice.
“Why don’t you give it to lost and found?” San said while getting up to pick his bag.
“Because it’s not lost?” Jongho said, confused. “Wooyoung asked to give it to you” He said again and San had spun so fast he was lucky he didn’t get whiplash.
San heard someone mumble a low oh boy, probably Yunho but he was not focusing on this.
‘What?” San asked, getting closer to Jongho again to look at the device in his hand.
“Yeosang called to pick this up. It’s the class you were supposed to have today” Jongho said and barely finished when San picked the device from his hand and fled out of the room.
“You’re welcome!” He heard Jongho screaming to his back but San was already out.
-
Finding Wooyoung was hard. It was half past five now, they would be in the middle of their class so San tried his lucky on the library but Wooyoung wasn’t there. He asked the lady in the counter if the boy had showed up at all but she said he didn’t appear today. San huffed in frustration and left, in hopes to find him still in the college grounds, going to the table he usually sits with his friends but it was empty. San didn’t quite know why he was looking for him so wantonly but he just did. So he left the school gates and started to roam around in the streets, having no idea which way Wooyoung lived. San knew he could shoot him a text or call, but Wooyoung probably wouldn’t answer.
San was about to give up and go home when he saw Wooyoung getting out of a convenience store. He had a black plastic bag in his hands and was typing something on his phone. He was going towards the bus stop so San ran to catch up with him. He was a bit out of breath when he stopped, just a few steps behind Wooyoung.
“What is this?” San asked to Wooyoung’s back and the boy turned his head confused looking for the sound. When he completely faced San, his eyebrows shot up.
“What is what?” He asked, seeming confused.
“This” San showed him the flash drive while walking on his direction, stopping barely an arm’s length away from him. Wooyoung shuffled a bit on his feet but stood his ground, looking at San with intent.
“You know what it is, why are you asking me?” Wooyoung huffed, voice annoyed and San bit back a smile.
“Why are you doing this?” He asked and gave one tiny step further. Wooyoung noticed and San could see the way his body was rigid.
“I want my money” Wooyoung said, but it was stuttered and he didn’t look San in the eyes. One thing San was sure about Wooyoung is that he will crush you with just a look when he is certain of something. San knew that wasn’t about money.
“That’s the only reason?” San said and had no idea why his voice came out almost as a whisper.
“Y-es” Wooyoung said and San saw the moment he took half a step back. He was about to back off himself when Wooyoung undid his step and took one shy, barely there step forward instead. That made something inside San churn and he felt giddy.
“Yes?” San said again, this time with a smile he couldn’t contain. He couldn’t stop himself to creep even closer to Wooyoung, their bodies just a hairline away of touching, the point of their shoes already connected.
“I promised I won’t let you fail, San” Wooyoung said and looked at him this time. The certainty was there now, like San was used to.
“Then come back” San said before he could think. “I can’t do this without you” He said softly and saw the way Wooyoung’s jaw tensed.
Wooyoung shook his head before speaking. “You’re smart enough to do this on your own, don’t worry” He said and San could feel his warm breath on his face with how close they were.
“I can’t” San said and inclined his head down to diminish the small height different they had. Their foreheads were almost touching and San had no idea what came over him, all he saw was Wooyoung and how close he was. “I’m sorry for everything, really. For the necklace, the way I acted, the things I said” San said and when Wooyoung fought to keep his eyes open with the proximity, San almost crushed the flash drive on his hand to stop himself from touching him. “I’m sorry for forcing that kiss on you” He finally said and Wooyoung, who was looking down, tilted his head up to look him in the eyes and their noses brushed for less than a second. San was out of breath and his head was spinning but he never wanted it to stop. “Come back” San said one last time.
“Ok” Wooyoung whispered and San couldn’t help the smile playing on his lips. “We only have two weeks though, if you fuck it up again were done for good” Wooyoung said and San felt when the latter’s hand touched his. He looked down and saw Wooyoung grabbing the flash drive but San couldn’t let the chance slip so easily.
When he engulfed Wooyoung’s hand with his, squishing the device between both their palms, the latter was startled but San acted like nothing happened. Wooyoung took a deep breath and licked his lips, making San follow every movement like he was hypnotized. San was so captivated by the moment that he had no idea when he grabbed Wooyoung’s other hand in his, bringing him close enough for their bodies to touch this time. But when it finally happened he just rested their foreheads together and it was like the world around them ceased to exist.
“I won’t let you down again” San whispered and rubbed their noses together for a tiny moment. It took every ounce of strength he had to not kiss Wooyoung right then and there. But San knew he shouldn’t.
But just as the spell like moment began, it came to an end. They forgot for a moment they were in a sidewalk, so when a car passed by honking loudly and startled the two of them, they separated fast, both looking around nervously.
When recovered from the surprise sound, San looked at Wooyoung, who was already looking at him, but now with a safe distance between them.
“I was about to go home just now” Wooyoung said but was not looking at him once again. “You can come with me and we can look thought that” He said and San could see how much effort he put in trying to sound normal. It made his heart beat faster. “If you want” He shrugged in the end and San smile brightly.
“I want” He said. “Which way we go?”
Wooyoung rolled his eyes and started to walk ahead, heading to the bus station. San trailed behind, feeling so light on his feet he was almost floating.
Notes:
they can be soft, ok?
Chapter Text
Wooyoung was having a nervous breakdown on the way home.
San was sitting beside him in on the bus, their legs touching and San not making any effort to avoid it. They were in silence throughout the whole way there, Wooyoung not having any idea of what to say and San being probably on the same page.
Wooyoung was still processing what had just happened.
After his friends left his dorm room the night before, Wooyoung started to contemplate a lot about what they had said.
He was projecting, yes. He could admit that much. He knew he was letting his insecurities get the best of him and acting in a childish way because he was afraid. But he had no reason to be afraid of San, it seems. The boy had approached him with an apology and even if Wooyoung decided to be an asshole about it, he kept his composure until Wooyoung himself made him lost it. So Wooyoung couldn’t exactly blame San for his own decisions, right? He could still blame him for the kiss and all that, but what San had said to him was just him trying to defend himself. Wooyoung attacked first and had to deal with it now.
If San had willingly went to meet him then he still wanted to continue the classes and put an end to their misunderstanding but Wooyoung got blinded by his own emotions and messed that up. Emotions that he pretty much stopped trying to convince himself that weren’t there.
When San arrived and gave him another necklace everything Wooyoung could think about was the feeling of being rejected again. Irrational, he knows that. But his brain works in a way he has no control of. San deliberately chose to avoid the topic they should be talking about and the first thing Wooyoung did was to put his walls up. And best defense is attack, they said.
But after thinking carefully about it, he could have gone about it differently. What was he expecting, exactly? That San would come up to him with flowers, chocolates and a declaration? He let the idea of San iniciating that kiss blind him for a moment. His mind was a mess between deciding if he wanted that kiss to have meant something for San or not. When it was the latter, he felt disappointed for a reason he wasn’t ready to explore.
So he decided to be the bigger person, even if it was probably a bit late for that.
After a lot of consideration, Wooyoung prepared San next class and saved in a flash drive. He went to sleep with the heart a bit lighter because of that.
When the next day arrived, he needed to figure out how to give that flash drive to him. He wasn’t about to show his face. He was not exactly embarrassed but he was not looking forward to seeing San so fast again. So he looked for the best option and that appeared to be closer than he imagined.
Yeosang was on his phone in their usual spot, smiling so big that Wooyoung was afraid his face would split in half. It wasn’t exactly hard to figure out why the smile was there and who it belonged to. Yeosang never really tried to hide the fact that Jongho could break down all his walls at once so the light bulb in Wooyoung’s head lit up faster than he would like to admit.
“Sangie, I need a favor” Wooyoung said while sitting beside his friend, clinging onto his arm and speaking with a soft voice.
“Oh no, don’t” Yeosang said, locking his phone and eyeing Wooyoung with his brows furrowed. “Every time you sangie me shit goes down. I don’t want to know” He huffed and looked away.
“C’mon, you’re the only one I can count on” Wooyoung whined and gave him a pout. Yeosang looked at him with a disgusted face.
“The only one, you traitor?” He heard Hongjoong’s voice as he approached and Wooyoung looked at him apologetically.
“In this case, yes. Unless you’re close with someone from the football team and we’re not aware of?” Wooyoung asked and the way Hongjoong averted his eyes was way too quick to be innocent.
“Well, I know Jongho but that is Yeosang’s specialty” Hongjoong said and it was not lost to Wooyoung the way his ears were red and the way he tried to shift the focus away from him again. But that was a problem that he would store for later.
“Sangie, please” Wooyoung whined again, jumping on his seat to annoy Yeosang enough that he would accept to help.
“Argh, what do you want?” Yeosang said while taking his arm out of Wooyoung’s grip.
“I need you to ask Jongho to give this to San” He said while putting the flash drive on the table and his friends looked at it like it was an insect.
“There’s nudes in there?” Yeosang asked making a face and Wooyoung slapped him the back of the head.
“That’s probably the last thing San would want to receive from me, don’t worry. Is the class we were supposed to have today” Wooyoung admitted and the silence that followed made him feel bad. “I fucked up yesterday and I don’t think he would want to see me again but I can still help somehow, right?”
“He’ll know it came from you, you know that right?” Hongjoong asked while sipping on his bitter looking coffee.
“I know. It’s up to him if he wants it or not. I’m offering, though” Wooyoung said and sighed. “I really don’t want him to fail. He can do it, he just needs a little push and we were getting there”
“You’re soft for Choi San” Yeosang said and looked at him like he had grown two head.
“Disgusting” Hongjoong muttered.
“Will you ask your boyfriend or not?”
“Well, I won’t hurt, I think” Yeosang said under his breath and Hongjoong snickered behind his coffee cup.
“You didn’t deny the boyfriend part, though” Wooyoung poked
“What can I say? One of us needs to get some” Yeosang said with a smug smile and made both Wooyoung and Hongjoong gasp.
“You bitch!” Hongjoong screamed.
“But like… boyfriend, boyfriend?” Wooyoung asked dumbfounded.
“Boyfriend boyfriend” Wooyoung jaw dropped and he gave a whispered scream.
That was a hell of a good development. Yeosang and Jongho had been doing that weird mating dance for way too long now. He was so happy for him that Wooyoung forgot for a moment the task at hand to ask for details. Yeosang was in the middle of explaining how Jongho finally shoved him against a wall and kissed the life out of him when his phone pinged with a notification.
“Jongho’s coming” He said.
Okay, back to business, then. It took no more than five minutes for the player to arrive and he immediately stood next to Yeosang, giving him a small kiss on the crown of his head, making the other two occupants of the table swoon a bit.
“I would like to make a joke and say I’m disgusted, but I’m relieved” Hongjoong said in all his Hongjoong honesty.
“Same. I thought it would never happen at some point” Wooyoung said and Jongho gave them a shy gummy smile. Wooyoung wanted to do something with him, adopt maybe.
‘You need me for something, baby?” He asked Yeosang and the blonde gave him the flash drive that was forgotten in the table.
“Give this to San, please. Is the class Wooyoung was supposed to give him today but as you saw last night they’re not in good terms” Yeosang said with a pout.
“Oh, I remember. He was pissed” Jongho muttered and grabbed the flash drive from his boyfriend’s hand. “I’ll give it to him, then. Seems important” He said that while looking at Wooyoung with a pointed look, making the older find the dirty on the ground exceptionally important. “I’ll be going then, my class is about to start. Bye, bye!”
After Jongho went and Yeosang resumed the story they were talking about before, they went to class for the rest of the day. It was more of the same for Wooyoung since the only different part of his pristine routine was Choi San but that was in the past. When the time they were supposed to meet came around, Wooyoung contemplated going to the library but decided against it. San probably would throw the flash drive somewhere and forget about, considering he would ever take it in the first place.
So he went home. Wooyoung decided to take a detour since he had one hour to spend and took the longer way, stopping by the only convenience store around that sold the brand of chocolates that he liked. He bought some and was responding a text from his mom while walking to the bus station when he heard a voice.
To say he was surprised to see San was an understatement. The player was a few steps away from him, panting like he ran a big distance. The thought that Choi San ran to him made something stir inside Wooyoung. He didn’t know if that was a good thing.
And everything that followed was almost like a blur. Every step San gave to meet him, the way Wooyoung himself decided to meet him halfway. The way they were so, so close he could almost touch him. And when he finally did, oh God, something must have snapped inside Wooyoung’s mind because he had never felt something quite like that. His legs were real warriors for still being able to support his weight when everything he wanted was to melt in San embrace when the player put their foreheads together, speaking so softly that Wooyoung felt like crying.
San was there, he ran after him and with whispered pleads he asked him back. And Wooyoung couldn’t do anything but to say yes. Yes, he desperately wanted back and that didn’t make any sense. It didn’t made sense when San laced their hands together, when Wooyoung took a deep breath and could smell, so strong and so San, all around him, all for him; it didn’t made sense when San brushed their noses together and Wooyoung tightened the hold on his hand and San pressed back even harder or else he would fall.
None of that made sense. Why San was there, why he was doing all that, saying all that and making Wooyoung feel so much of what he shouldn’t. But it just felt so right, it felt so good to breathe him in, to feel his soft breath on his face and his voice so small and tender on his ears. So Wooyoung decided to forget the word sense for a while, just a little while. He would make sure to remember it later, to make sure no harm would be done.
When they finally were forced to say something and Wooyoung’s words were out of his mouth before he could even think about them, his voice was foreign to his own ears. He sounded out of breath, confused, but at the same time so certain of what he wanted. Whatever bubble that moment had built around them, he wasn’t exactly ready to burst it just yet. So when San smiled so big and just followed along, Wooyoung prayed for that bubble to be resistant.
-
His dorm room was nothing much. He had the privilege of rooming alone for having a full scholarship, the university probably thinking he needed the calm and space to keep his grades. They weren’t wrong and now more than ever Wooyoung was glad for that.
Both boys left their shoes at the entrance and were still as quiet as they could, only their breathing could be heard inside Wooyoung’s place. But that wasn’t right. Wooyoung asked him along because he wanted the moment to last; he wanted San to look at him like he was the only person in the world for a little bit longer. But they were avoiding each other’s eyes now, nervousness getting the best of them.
San stood in the living room, awkwardly looking around and Wooyoung didn’t like that; didn’t like that San felt out of place here on his safe space.
“You can go home if you want” Wooyoung said even if that was the last thing he wanted.
“What? No! I don’t” San answered fast and stuttered for a bit before taking a step towards Wooyoung, stopping in the middle of it.
“You want something to drink?” Wooyoung asked turning his back at him to give into the small kitchen that divided the space with the living room. Small talk would break the weird tension between them, he was sure.
“Just water is fine. I walked for almost an hour looking for you, I’m parched” He could hear San saying and the voice was right behind, San having followed him into the kitchen.
Wooyoung felt his heart skip a beat at the comment but wasn’t sure if he could say something about it without embarrassing himself so he decided to distract himself by putting San a glass of water. While waiting for the glass to feel, he felt a warmth on his back, San stepping close to him. He was close enough that Wooyoung could feel his breath on his neck, but they weren’t touching. Wooyoung’s hand shook a bit and he felt San’s hand on his elbow, steadying him. When the glass was filled – Wooyoung was confused if it took too long or if it was done in a blink – he slowly turned around and got a whole face of Choi San right on his space.
“Here” He whispered as low as he could, expecting that a pin drop would end the moment and Wooyoung wasn’t exactly ready for it.
He slowly lifted in the small space he had, standing between San and the counter. San looked at the glass for half a second and took it from his hand with a small thanks only to put it on the counter behind Wooyoung without drinking it.
Wooyoung was about to hyperventilate or something. San shuffled just a bit closer, putting his arms around Wooyoung, trapping him in their little moment. Wooyoung’s was breathing hard, goose bumps with a permanent spot on his skin. Wooyoung’s own hands went to rest on the counter as well, right beside San’s and the player interlocked their pinkies, almost like he wasn’t thinking about it. But Wooyoung was so on tune with him and every little part of him, that that point of connection between them was almost hurting, even if it was the softest touch ever.
But what was making Wooyoung combust was the stare. San was looking at him with an intensity no one ever had before. His eyes were dancing on his face, looking at every part of him. He almost felt shy for a moment, but something about the way San was looking at him was calming; like he was remembering every part of his face, guarding the details on his memory. Wooyoung carefully leaned back on the counter, just a bit to put a bit distance between them or else he would do something dumb but San just bended forward as he went back, following him like he was in a trance.
The look was different now. If before it was almost like a reverie, now there was nothing left for imagination there. It was hunger, pure and raw. Wooyoung could see because the same look was reflected on his own eyes. He wanted San, desperately. He licked his lips and a sound came from San’ throat, almost like a frustrated groan. It felt like hours passed as they stood there, drinking in each other’s presence but it had been less than a couple of minutes. It was almost like a game, to see who was the weakest, who would give up first. But San wasn’t making things easy for him, the more he crowded in, the more Wooyoung wanted him close.
Something like a bolt of courage zapped through Wooyoung’s being and he put a hand on San’s waist, just resting it there, barely applying pressure, but being forward enough with his wants. He wanted San there, close enough to touch. The gesture did something to San as the player closed his eyes and let his head fall on Wooyoung’s shoulder, almost panting. The movement squeezes Wooyoung’s heart and in a flash his other hand found home in San’s head, fingers slowly running through his soft black hair.
San tilted his head and Wooyoung would not have noticed if not for the way the player was now nosing at his neck. Breathing him in in a caress so soft that Wooyoung’s eyes closed involuntarily. His hold on San tightened on his own and the it was not the player’s turn to put his hands on him. San grabbed him by the hips, squeezing it so hard that a sound came out of Wooyoung against his will. San froze on his embrace and Wooyoung was about to separate them when he felt San lips on his neck. His lips soft and warm, mapping his skin like a it was his way home. Wooyoung was completely at his mercy, not wanting to think about anything that wasn’t San.
The player was giving his neck little nips, but also long kisses, passing his teeth on the hot skin right after only to make Wooyoung tremble. Wooyoung had no idea why he was reacting like that. It was not the first time someone had kissed his neck, but it never felt like this. Nothing with San is normal. Everything with him feels like the first time, the good and the bad things. And Wooyoung was becoming addicted to that feeling.
San was bolder now, going as far as kissing his jaw. The time had stopped completely for them; they were the only people in the world now and nothing was as important as this.
San stopped suddenly, looking at Wooyoung’s eyes again and that imagine would probably be engraved on Wooyoung’s mind for a while. San was panting, his lips red and swollen, looking at his like he desperate for something only Wooyoung could give him. And Wooyoung knew what it was. He was aware of it because he wanted just as much. But he swore things wouldn’t get bad, he promised himself to stop before they could regret. So his senses decided to comeback at him right when his body was half on fire and he wanted nothing more in the world than to feel San’s lips on his again.
Wooyoung was the first to avoid eye contact and break the touch they had on each other. San instinctively took a step back and was looking startled.
“I’m sorry” The player said and his eyes were big, almost like he was afraid. Wooyoung didn’t like that. There was nothing he should be sorry about, nothing about that felt wrong, not even in the slightest.
“No, it’s okay” Wooyoung was sure to reassure him. “I’ll go get things ready” Wooyoung said and left the kitchen, passing through San but letting their arms brush, as if that would give the two of them some semblance of comfort.
When he finally put some safe distance between him and the reason he was going crazy, Wooyoung took a lot of deep breaths trying to calm down both his heart and body.
+
San had no idea what he wanted when he started to roam around the streets looking for Wooyoung. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to find him in the first place, so no goal was actually defined on his mind.
But the last thing he could’ve imagined was he would end up following Wooyoung home.
But here he was. And even if it was unexpected, San couldn’t say it was bad, not at all. He felt, what? Happy? It was hard to say but the feeling wouldn’t go away. It was stuck on him ever since he found Wooyoung in the street until now while he sat on the couch, way too comfortable despite it being the first time he ever set foot on the other’s place and watched him set up his laptop on the coffee table in the living room, taking cushions and making space for them to sit.
He took the moment to just watch him. He knew Wooyoung was aware of his gaze but long gone was the time he was trying to hide it. He couldn’t. Not with the way the both of them acted today. Not with just how much he saw on Wooyoung’s eyes. It almost like it reflected his.
He never planned any of this to happen.
He had never felt desperation in his life. Never had a moment that he felt like it was the end of the line, life or death. But what he felt when he saw Wooyoung earlier today must had been it. He just let his feet take him, just let his brain make out the words for him without even think about them. He just wanted him to stay and he would do anything for that to happen. It was ridiculous, really. It was not like they would go to different parts of the globe tomorrow, but San didn’t care.
And earlier in the kitchen, he just couldn’t take it anymore. It was just them, just the two of them and nothing else, the rest of the world be damned. He needed to hold him, feel his skin, to taste him. He did, just a little bit. Just a fraction of what he actually wanted. His skin was soft, he smelled so good. San was probably going crazy, no one is able to make another person lose themselves like this so fast. San knew that wasn’t good, he couldn’t go on like this. His fingertips were already itching to touch him again, the taste of his skin was still in his tongue and the only thing he could think about was how his lips would taste like when San kissed the way they both were dying for.
Not if, but when. And that was a problem, because they couldn’t. They couldn’t do any of that. They couldn’t do the soft touches, the whispered words, the low groans of a pleasure that barely scratched the surface. They couldn’t do any of it. San couldn’t. And yet, he never wanted something as bad as he wants this.
But as it seems to be obvious, Wooyoung is the smartest person in the room. And even if it almost physically pained San to let him go, he knew it was the right thing.
And Wooyoung was trying. God, San couldn’t even stop smiling while looking at him fumble with his hands and the way he was purposefully avoiding eye contact like his life depended on it. San knew he should do the same, he knew he should at least pretend for the time being. He could wallow on his misery when he went back home and dream about the little mole underneath Wooyoung’s eyes when he fell asleep.
San almost slapped himself for the sappy thoughts, but there wasn’t much he could do. They came on their own every time Wooyoung just breathed next to him. He was just so small, so soft. When they were in the kitchen and San trapped in the counter, he was sure Wooyoung would be invisible if someone were to see them with just how perfectly they fit, like he was made just for him.
Wooyoung looked at him for the first time since they left the kitchen, more than twenty minutes ago. He looked at him with something that resembled a pout, like he was thinking about something.
“Where’s your bag?” Wooyoung asked and San gave him a small, almost embarrassed smile.
“I left in the locker room” He said, guilty. Wooyoung gave him a look and San scratched his head. “I wasn’t exactly planning on studying, you know? When Jongho gave the flash drive I just ran out to look for you and forgot it there” San said and noted that Wooyoung broke eye contact.
It was cute the way he tried to hide the blush on his cheeks. San knew they were navigating through high waters with that behavior. With the things they said and everything that had been exchanged until now. He knew it was wrong. That could end up in a mess that would break both of them.
But he couldn’t care at the moment. He could do it again and again just to see the look of satisfaction Wooyoung tried to hide.
“You can go home, then” Wooyoung said and San pouted. “We can meet up tomorrow in the library and pick up from here”
“No, we can do it” San said and sat on the floor beside Wooyoung, the space between the couch and coffee table a bit tight, making their knees touch. “I can put some notes in here” He said pointing to Wooyoung’s notebook “And then you can text a picture of them to me and I’ll add it to the notes I already have” He babbled and as he leaned forward to pick the notebook, he let a hand rest on Wooyoung’s thigh. It wasn’t on purpose or anything, but once he realized it was there, he wasn’t willing to take it off if Wooyoung didn’t ask him to.
“I can see in your face that you won’t be able to concentrate in a single word I’ll tell you today, San” Wooyoung said and his smile was a bit smug. San wanted to kiss it of off him. “You’re just making reasons to stay here” He whispered and San saw as his eyes betrayed him and took a sneak peek at where San’s hand was touching him.
“You’re not wrong” San said and the smug smile was bigger now, Wooyoung looking at him almost through his lashes. Fuck, he was so beautiful.
Wooyoung knocked the air out of him when he swiftly maneuvered himself from San’s sides to his laps in one single movement. San wasn’t ready for a lapful of Wooyoung so suddenly and his eyes were as big as saucers. But the look on the other boy’s face was so soft that San relaxed immediately.
The position was intimate. San could feel the weight of him and it was just another thing to add up on the list of what made Wooyoung molded to him. San’s hands were immediately on hips, caressing his sides with his thumb but there wasn’t any malicious intent behind of that. San just wanted to feel him, to caress him. He discovered today that touching Wooyoung could calm him down and make him lose his mind in just a span of seconds.
Wooyoung was looking at him with a smile that felt wrong, almost like he was resigned. San furrowed his eyebrows and brought him closer by the hips, and Wooyoung touched their foreheads together again, but it was faster this time because they knew that being too close was a bad idea. His tutor pushed his hair back, exposing his forehead and was just looking at him, not saying anything. San was looking back because, how could he not? Everything about Wooyoung was exquisite and he would bash on it for as long as he could.
“You really should go” Wooyoung whispered, just for him to hear. Like if he spoke any louder someone else might hear, even if they were completely alone. “We both now you can’t be here, not like this” His tone was not sad, but he also wasn’t happy. Just like his smile, it was resigned. “We can meet again tomorrow and start working until the days we have left for your exam. I know you can do it” Wooyoung was caressing his hair, stroking his fingers softly through it. San felt another different feeling, like the desperation he swore he felt before, but couldn’t put a name on this one. He would learn later that was called longing. “I don’t really care about football, but now I really want that championship” Wooyoung smile and San could only tag along with a smile of his own. “Will you win that for me?” He whispered that last part, breathed it out, almost like he was afraid of saying it out loud.
San should be the one scared though if the first thought that crossed his mind after hearing it was anything to go for.
I would do anything for you.
San wasn’t sure where that came from, but wouldn’t like to confront it now so he just nodded his head in silence because Wooyoung was still waiting for an answer.
“So go” Wooyoung said again. “And promise you’ll be paying attention tomorrow” He said and bopped him in the nose and it was just so tender that San could do nothing more than just watch him because it seemed like even if it was all he could get, he would fight for it like his life depended on it.
“Don’t make me go” San whispered back for the first time.
“It’s not like I want you to” Wooyoung said and let a long breath out. “But we both know why you should” The pointed look Wooyoung gave him was more than enough for him to remember some of the reasons but that wasn’t making things any better.
“I still don’t want to” San stubbornly said and held Wooyoung wrists now to intertwining their fingers.
“But you have to” Wooyoung said but applied pressure on his hand like his body was refusing his words. “I know that everything that happened today, actually this few days had been overwhelming. For me at least it was… weird. I don’t know how to feel about that. But today was… good. This is so good” Wooyoung said and squeezes his hands again. San could relate to every word. “But it’s not right. I don’t know how you managed that but in just a few days you made me feel things that I’ve never felt before. And that’s not something I’m used to. I like to be in control of what I feel, but you’ve managed to mess all of that up with just one look, San” San heard him with a pang of something in chest. It was not guilty because he had intended to make Wooyoung feel just as much as he was feeling. “But I can’t allow it to grow. As much as I want to, I can’t let you stay now. If I do that, I’ll just want you to stay tomorrow as well. And the day after that” Before San could say anything Wooyoung let go of their hands and threaded his fingers through his hair again. “And we both know that one day you won’t come back. And I don’t deserve this. We don’t deserve this” We, Wooyoung had said. “Not me, not your girlfriend”
It should make San feel guilty, hearing about Arin. But it was barely a name floating on his head now, the only thing important was that Wooyoung wanted him gone and there wasn’t a power strong enough in the world that would convince San that it was the right thing to do.
“You and I, we don’t belong San” Wooyoung said. “And we know that, we just forgot”
San wanted to tell him wrong. He wanted to grab him by the neck, kiss him and ask him to just take a look at them. To see how they looked perfectly together like a puzzle piece founding its rightful place. But deep down, San could see where this was coming from and even if every sign on his mind was telling him to fight it, he agreed in the end.
Not because they didn’t fit, or didn’t belong. ‘Cause they did and they could. But because they weren’t ready. And only time would tell if they would ever be.
Notes:
another updated because i'm too invested on them
once again, thank you all so much for the comments, means the world to me and it helps a lot to put this story together <3
Chapter 9: 9
Chapter Text
Wooyoung was confused.
But it wasn’t a good kind of confused where he wanted to figure things out to obtain more knowledge in the end. It was the kind of confused where he was afraid of having the answers so he deliberately chose to not look for it.
After San left – begrudgingly to say the least – he plopped himself down on the couch and lay there for God knows how long. He took a nap at some point and when he woke up it was already close to his bed time. He wasn’t exactly sleepy anymore but he got up to go to his bed. Staying on the sofa where San’s smell was still fresh was not doing him any good.
When Wooyoung finally accepted that whatever was happening between him and Choi San was a not a ploy from the player to disgrace him, he was even more lost. Every little thing that happened today kept replaying in his head in a loop, reverberating with ever doubt he had.
Why San was doing this? What went wrong in his seemingly perfect life that he thought it would be a good idea to get up and close with Wooyoung? Just how desperate must he be to not see how bad of an idea that was?
Wooyoung was not invalidating himself. He knew he was attractive and all that jazz, he could land someone like San. But with San being San, that was not something Wooyoung ever entertained. Of course he thought about it before, even more so after the stolen kiss. But for it to be real? For San to be thinking about it probably just as much as he had? For San to be looking at him like he held answers to all of his questions? That was unconceivable to him. And that was the reason why he was so adamant on making San leave. San gave him something that was dangerous. He looked at Wooyoung like he was enough and for a moment that made a small amount of hope start to circulate on him and that couldn’t happen.
Wooyoung had zero idea where he stands regarding his feelings for San. He’s attracted to him, that much is obvious. The spark between them was almost palpable and he was already past denying that. And, in other circumstances, that would be enough explanation. But San made him feel tingles that he only felt once before and even so, it was hundreds more times stronger. San made him weak in the knee without even saying a word to him. He made his heart beat faster and his head spin. And that couldn’t be.
Wooyoung wouldn’t say that his morals are high. He knows just the amount flaws that he possesses and they’re not few. But he’d learned to live with them and that was okay. But something that never really settled with him was get in between other people’s relationships. He wouldn’t go as far as say that he had never been with someone that was taken before but it’s not like he’s proud of it. So he stays away from them. So, even if everything else could fall into place to make it work for them, Choi San was still unobtainable. He already belonged to someone else and that was a limit that Wooyoung was not looking to cross.
He knew that San should be more worried about that than he was – and that didn’t seem to be the case – and it bothered him. San and Arin are a good couple. He’s aware of just how much people talk about them and he’s seen them around; they work together. The prom King and Queen. The perfect family in a friendly ad on the television. And, more than looking like they were good, they genuinely liked each other, Wooyoung could tell. The few times he had seen them together they seemed to gravitate towards one another, always touching, always with a smile on their faces because the other was present. So, it didn’t made sense that San was looking for something more than what he seemed to have.
Wooyoung wasn’t feeling sorry for what had happened between them. He knew that kissing San now would just tip the bar of a glass that was already full but he wouldn’t be the one to screw it up, he had some self respect. He knows how this things work: San is attracted to him and now everything seems big, new and shiny. What he’s feeling is something he wants to explore. But once he milks out of Wooyoung everything he was trying to get a taste of, he would leave. Go back to his perfect life, his perfect girlfriend and go on with his life. Wooyoung was not trying to project anymore but he had been there. He had been the test subject for someone who was curious and then was kicked to the curb when that need was quenched. He wouldn’t put himself through that again.
He knew San would try again and again. He could see the determination in his eyes and as flattered as he was, as much as it made the butterflies let loose on his stomach, he would resist. He needed to.
-
It was already Friday again and that meant that Yeosang and Hongjoong would, once again, try and make him go to another party he had no interest in.
He arrived at the campus earlier than normal, not having the best night’s sleep. Wooyoung rolled around the bed until almost 2am and got up and 6, so he wasn’t exactly rested. He knew how bitchy he could be when he didn’t get enough sleep but that didn’t seem to be the case today. He was rather calm, the chirps coming from the trees surrounding him not sounding as annoying as they usually are. His friends arrived a few minutes after he settle down on their usual table underneath a big palm tree in the campus and they exchanged quick good mornings.
“Talking about a good morning, have you heard from San?” Yeosang asked, munching on an apple. “Jongho said he took the flash drive and sprinted out of the locker room yesterday. They had no idea what happened to him”
Wooyoung had two options: keep whatever happened between him and San and pretending it was another normal day or talk about it with the two people he trusted the most in the world or else his head would explode. It was an easy choice.
“We met” Wooyoung started slow.
“And how did that go?” Hongjoong said with a tired tone.
“I’m still in the process of understanding this myself, to be honest” Wooyoung said and the two pair of eyes on him seemed like a million with the intensity they stared at him now. “I mean, he literally was running down the streets looking for me, how dramatic is that?”
“Is that a good thing?” Hongjoong asked careful.
“Probably not” Wooyoung heaved a sigh before looking around, making sure they were alone before going on. “We had a moment” He decided to put it simple.
“A good moment?” Yeosang said, even more careful than Hongjoong, almost whispering.
“A really good moment” Wooyoung whined.
“Oh my god, you kissed him!” Hongjoong almost screamed.
“No! Keep your voice down, dumbass!” Wooyoung kicked in the shin from underneath the table. “We didn’t kiss, but we maybe should’ve done that” Wooyoung said tired. “Remember when you said yesterday that I’m soft for Choi San?” He asked Yeosang and the blonde nodded, apple forgotten on the wooden table. “It’s mutual I think”
“What happened yesterday?” Yeosang asked, sliding a little bit closer to him with a concerned expression.
“He found me when I was about to go home. He said he was sorry for the kiss and stuff. And just that would’ve been okay, right? But he was doing that while looking at me like I hang the fucking moon” Wooyoung said and all the tiredness he didn’t felt before reached him in full force now. “And he just… he held me, in the middle of the street. He held my hands and touched me like no one else ever had. And he seemed so, honest? I don’t know. And then he was whispering his sorry’s and pleading me to go back to him” Wooyoung said that in an outraged whiny voice. “A part of my brain was aware that it was about those ridiculous classes but it didn’t felt like it. And I don’t know what came over me that I invited him home” Wooyoung said almost ashamed, even though he knew that table would be a judgment free zone for him. “And back at the apartment it was more of the same. He cornered me in the kitchen counter and held me like I was something precious. He looked at me like I was going to disappear if he looked away” Wooyoung was recounting that almost in denial. Saying it out loud was making it even more surreal. “And I don’t know where our judgment went that we thought it was a good idea for him to start kissing my neck. And the worst of it is that he was enjoying himself so much” Wooyoung continued, head shaking in disbelief. “And then I finally woke the fuck up and asked him to leave” He finished, sparing one detail or two. He was selfish enough to keep a few moments only to himself.
The silence that came afterwards was deafening.
“How are you feeling about that?” Hongjoong was the first one to speak.
“I have no clue” Wooyoung said and that was the most honest he had ever been in his life.
They quieted down for a while after that. It was almost to digest, Wooyoung knew.
“You’ll still meet him today?” Yeosang asked and the concerned tone was back.
“Yes” Wooyoung whispered.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Hongjoong said now.
“We’ll be in a public space inside the campus. Nothing will happen, I’m sure of it” Wooyoung said, almost confident.
“I’m not talking about PDA here, Woo” Yeosang said. “I’m talking about your feelings and what put yourself through that can do to you”
Wooyoung wanted to retort, wanted to say that it would be fine because he was better than that, he would not go around making the same mistakes twice. But then he remembered San’s eyes on him and how it had made him feel.
“It’s nothing I can’t handle” He tried to reassure his friends but none of them looked convinced.
“I know you like the back of my hand, Wooyoungie” Hongjoong said and his tone was almost sad. “If this was anyone else, you’d be laughing at them having a crush on you. But San affects you somehow” Wooyoung averted his eyes because he would not deny that. “You don’t have to deal with this”
Wooyoung knew from the way his friends were looking at each other that they were already planning the operation save Wooyoung from an unavoidable heartbreak.
“I appreciate your concern, you know I do. But I’ll be fine. I won’t let myself get invested. It’s just six more days and I’ll have no excuse to see him again. We both will be over it by now”
“What if that doesn’t happen? What if in those six days he runs after you again? What if he keeps pushing until you break?” Yeosang said a bit angered now. “Then what?”
“It’s not that deep. Of course it feels a lot now because it’s recent, it just happened yesterday. But I won’t let it happen again. I’ll be fine”
“Wooyoungie, it’s been happening ever since you met him” Hongjoong said, careful, with a smile that was mysterious for Wooyoung. “It’s just reaching a turning point now”
“He has a girlfriend. And that’s not changing. So don’t worry about me. I know it looks bad, but I’ve learned from my mistakes. I won’t let myself be someone else’s secret again” Wooyoung said with a finality in his tone that left no room for arguments.
+
San was trying not to think too much of everything that had happened yesterday.
He went home feeling a mix of frustrated and relieved. He knew that at some point things would spiral even more out of control that they already had if he had stayed and was thankful to Wooyoung for forcing that on him.
And at the same time, the moment they had been together was too little for whatever that was inside of him to settle. It only made him even more impatient. He had no idea of what exactly he wanted from Wooyoung but whatever it was, he wanted it now.
But something Wooyoung said to him had stuck in a way that made him feel even more of an asshole than he was already feeling towards everything.
We don’t deserve this. Not me, not you girlfriend.
San had been consciously ignoring Arin for the past few days. He had given her an excuse that he had a whole lot of work to do and postponed every time she tried to see him outside of the campus when they managed to meet in between classes. He was not proud of it or even fine with the solution he found. But it was slightly less shitty than being with her while his mind was away with someone else.
He had no idea of what to do about her. The moment he had his lips attached to Wooyoung’s neck and every time he remembered the way his skin felt against his, he wanted everything in the world to be damned and only them to exist at every moment. But when he was less intoxicated with what the other guy made him feel, he knew just how crazy that was.
There was no way he would break up with his long term girlfriend because he wanted to kiss someone else. Right?
He remembered Seonghwa’s words, telling him that it was normal and things like this happened between couples. His relationship was not boring in any way, he knew how to have fun with Arin and she was an excellent companion. She also did not lack in any aspect, he was attracted to her, her looks and personality. So it was not like he wasn’t feeling bad every time he closed his eyes and someone else popped up behind his eyelids. Wooyoung was right, Arin did not deserve this. She trusted him and he was just washing all of that away in the rain for a feeling that could disappear in a flash.
And then he remembered Wooyoung and his reasons and resolves weakened quickly. The way he had stroked his hair while looking at him with such a soft, disarmed look. San was incredibly proud of being able to witness Wooyoung with his guards down; it was a sight to behold the way his smiled bloomed so naturally when he wasn’t forced to play a character around people. San would probably never get to bottom of it, but being someone that Wooyoung trusted enough to let loose even for just a moment was something he was not looking forward to let go.
But Wooyoung didn’t deserved it either. San knew it was a terrible situation and it wasn’t fair. He knew that what has happening between them was a force to be reckoned; he never felt that way with anyone else, not even Arin. With them was easy, it was comfortable. He was friends with her before anything else and things just fell into place quickly. It was almost like both of them were already expecting the moment they would become something more, it almost predictable.
With Wooyoung, San wasn’t sure if he could find the right words to describe it. It was electric, almost like his body was awakened from a long dormant period every time they met, like every one of his senses were made to perceive him. It was like he held the weight of the world on his shoulders and the only person who he could share it with was him, because he was the only one who fit right beside him so they could uphold it together. And if they touched, the weight would disappear altogether because if Wooyoung wanted, he would probably be able to make San forget his own existence let alone the rest of the world’s.
And the feelings, oh the feelings. The tightness of his chest, the swirling feeling at his stomach that went all the way down until his cock was aching and his legs trembling when he first touched himself with Wooyoung in his mind. It was right after he arrived home, the weight of him still so heavy on his lap and his scent at the tip of San’s tongue. His whole body was on fire and it only grew more with every stroke he gave on himself remembering Wooyoung’s shy whimpers when he was tasting his skin. San saw white faster and harder than ever before but it didn’t serve the purpose. It only left him aching and empty for a touch that was not so foreign anymore, but still out of his reach nonetheless.
But at the same time that it was luxury, and passion and desire, somewhere in his mind it was also a lullaby, a soft summer sunset and a garden of yellow forsythia’s. He wanted to destroy Wooyoung like a porn movie hidden in the depths of an old video store, a whispered secret that no one else was supposed to know but he also wanted to cherish him, to hold his hand and see him blushing like the main character of a Victorian romance that was written with the happy ending in mind.
It was a development that San was scared of. It happened too soon and too fast and he wasn’t anywhere near ready to deal with it.
-
He tried not to look too out of it around his friends but it was not like he had been discreet while leaving the day before. He avoided the rest of the team’s questions but couldn’t withstand the way Seonghwa, Jongho and Yunho were looking at him. He rolled his eyes and made a gesture with his head so all of them could leave the shared table to have a little more privacy.
Jongho guided them to a table close to the garden, a place San wasn’t really used to go to, always maintaining his presence in the crowded area. But it was calm and relaxing, and he wasn’t aware of just how much he needed the quietness until he had it.
It didn’t last much though and Seonghwa went away with questioning him.
“I supposed you found him since we waited for hours and you didn’t come back to grab your stuff” Seonghwa said, ironic.
“Give him a break” Yunho said with a smile of his own. “He looks like he had an epiphany or something”
San wanted to laugh because there was no way that he could be more right.
“You know you don’t have to tell us anything, right?” Jongho said and San nodded before letting out a long sigh.
“I like him” San said, letting his body slump down in the bench. “Like, I want to take him out on a date kind of like” He wasn’t looking any of them in the eyes. Not because he was ashamed of anything, but because saying it was scary and he rather focus on a distant tree to try and control his breathing.
“And what do you plan to do with that?” Jongho said.
“Nothing” He said, shrugging his shoulders. “I’m in a committed relationship I can’t go around having dates with other people”
“And how long your committed relationship is going to last?” Seonghwa said, voice rather acid.
“I’m not planning on breaking up with her, Seonghwa” San retorted and his tone was just as acid. He knew Seonghwa was on board with helping him, but things like this were not making anything easier for San.
“Then you’re just being stupid” The older said again and the table was silent for half a heartbeat. “You like him, you said so yourself. And even before admitting that, you were already affected by him. How long do you think you’re going to hold on? You’re going to act on it sooner or later and purposefully cheat on her” Seonghwa said and San just listened because he had no excuse. He already did cheat one way or another.
“I’ve been with her for years, Seonghwa. I can’t throw that away for someone I know for barely two weeks” San reasoned.
“Feelings are never about time, San” Yunho said this time. “It’s been two weeks but it could’ve been two days, it wouldn’t make a difference”
“Then what do you expect me to do, hm?” San said, angered now. “Break up with her and ask him out, then announce to everyone else my new boyfriend?”
“That’s exclusively about you, San. You don’t owe people anything” Jongho said, rather somber. “You’re not going to be less deserving of your position as our captain or of our friendship because of what you do with your private life” Jongho said and San could see a glimpse of something in his eyes. Maybe he was talking from experience, San thought. Yeosang must be someone important.
“Saying it is rather easy. People expect things from me, I can’t just do as I please” San said and this time he was troubled, tired. That responsibility was something that was wearing him down.
“San, this is college, you’re supposed to fuck it up!” Yunho said. “You’re taking it too seriously. Are we not enough? Do you really need everybody else’s approval to be happy?” He continued and San looked down, a shameful feeling creeping up on him. Yes, he like the attention and the praise everyone seemed to think he was deserving of and deep down, he was scared of losing that.
“We’re not saying you need to publicize it, San. There’s no need to put up a billboard” Seonghwa said, softer this time. “But you don’t think you can break up with her? Then you need to let go of him”
San was also aware of that. He just didn’t know how to do it.
Letting out a long and tired sigh, San let his head fall on the wooden table beneath him, a million and one thoughts running through his head.
-
After practice Jongho stopped San before they went down to the locker room, they both being left alone on the field.
“I’m dating Yeosang” He said, standing as tall as San had ever seen him.
“I’ve figured” He said with what he hoped was a smile.
“I know I don’t have it half as hard as you do, but it’s nothing to be ashamed of” He said, trying to sound supportive.
“It’s not about shame, Jongho. I wouldn’t be ashamed of him” San said. “It’s about me and the things I’m not ready to let go” He sighed and gave Jongho a pat on the shoulder. “If anything, I’m ashamed of myself”
-
San took a thorough shower spending as much time as he could under the shower spray to try and easy his mind. It was not easy but when he finally went to meet Wooyoung for the last class of the week, he went with the mindset to make it as easy as possible for the two of them, even if he had no idea how to.
Before going, Yunho stopped him.
“Hey, Mingi is throwing a party tonight” Mingi is a friend of Yunho’s from another college. “Everyone’s invited, you should come. I think taking your mind out of this is what you need right now”
“I’ll think about it” San said.
He heard Yunho saying it starts at 9pm but he was already out of the locker room by the time he was finished.
+
Wooyoung walked slowly to the library after his classes ended.
He had not had the time to talk with neither of his friends after their morning and was glad for it. They would probably keep trying to make him abort the mission to help San but he wasn’t on board with that. Helping him was the easiest part so that he would keep on doing.
Wooyoung was used to being the first one to arrive, so he walked slowly knowing San would probably be a few minutes late. But he was delightfully wrong when he arrived at the library at 6pm. San was sitting at their table, but on a different chair. He was on the one beside Wooyoung’s usual spot. Wooyoung took a deep breath to calm down his beating heart the moment he spot the slightly wet black hair from afar. It didn’t take long for San to notice him and follow his footsteps until Wooyoung arrived at the table, putting his things down.
He was about to take the one sit where San is always at, but the player stopped him before he could sit.
“Can you sit beside me today?” San said and Wooyoung just stared at him. “I think it’ll be easier to concentrate when I don’t have to keep looking at your face all the time” San said trying to joke it out.
“It’s a good way to say that I’m that ugly, Choi San” Wooyoung joked back and turned the table to sit beside the player. That was good, they could make it light and eventually forget about the tension that was consuming the room. After his attempted joke he saw San smiling to the ground, shaking his head like he was refraining himself from saying something.
Wooyoung sat and immediately started to regret. They weren’t exactly touching, but Wooyoung had noticed that Sanhad put his chair close to his as most as he could without invading his space. He wishes San had come straight out of practice, not having time to shower and smell so devastatingly San. But for a split moment the image he tried to conjure came up vivid on his mind. A sweat, panting San seemed to be as difficult to handle as the one beside him. Wooyoung rolled his eyes at his own stupidity and shifted his focus back to the screen in front of him.
Thanking all the gods of the universe for taking easy on him, things went smoothly for the one hour they spent together. It was not exactly easy for neither of them to concentrate, Wooyoung lost his line of thoughts in the middle of a sentence a few times when San stared a bit too hard and the player sneakily tried to touch his arms once before Wooyoung whispered a hurried stop making him keep to himself until the class ended. He also had to repeat himself a few times, seeing how much obvious it was that San was paying attention to his lips instead of listening to what he was saying. They struggled a bit, but it was fruitful somehow.
Wooyoung stretched after they were done and as if he was done at holding himself back, San took the moment to slowly run his fingers through the exposed part of Wooyoung’s belly where his shirt had ridden up. The touch was sudden, Wooyoung having his eyes closed. He jumped on his seat and on a reflex, grabbed San’s hand. The player took the opportunity to lace their fingers, hiding their hands underneath the table. San twisted his body so he was completely facing Wooyoung and the latter took a deep breath before facing him too.
They spent a few seconds in silence, just staring at one another. San’s thumb was drawing slow circles at the back of his hand and Wooyoung was so tired for just one hour that he had no idea how he would handle the other five that were to come.
“Can I see you tonight?” San asked and Wooyoung almost snorted. He had some nerve, he would give him that.
“No” Wooyoung said, but kept their hands laced.
“Please” San whined and had the audacity to pout. Wooyoung couldn’t hold back the fond smile that appeared on his face. “Let’s grab something to eat, watch a movie, I don’t know” San sighed and averted his eyes before continuing. “I just wanna be with you” He whispered.
It was an automatic reaction and Wooyoung was not pleased to admit that it has never happened before – another one of the firsts San had evoked on him – when his eyes welled up with tears when he heard the whispered confession. The rational part of his brain was telling him to run, to fight it and just leave before things got more complicated. The irrational one was telling him to just grab his things and follow San wherever the wind took them.
“I gotta go” Wooyoung said and grabbed his things as fast as he could after yanking his hand out of San’s touch. The player didn’t say anything and Wooyoung made a point to not look back at him before leaving the room with a knot on his throat that didn’t seem to be going away anytime soon.
I just wanna be with you
I just wanna be with you
San was breaking him one innocent whisper at time and Wooyoung wasn’t sure how much longer he would stand. How selfish was him that San needed to feed Wooyoung everything he ever wanted just to have something for a moment? Wooyoung wanted to be angry at him. He wanted to scream that San could not mess up his life because he wanted a story to tell later on. He could not appear and make Wooyoung remember what was like to feel something just because he was willingly to try. Wooyoung would be the one left behind after all this was over for San. He would be the one with the I wanna be with you’s stuck on his memory.
He found Yeosang, Jongho and Hongjoong waiting for him at the gates.
“Party at Mingi’s tonight. You’re coming” Yeosang said.
Wooyoung usually would deny. He would say no without even think twice. But not this time.
Right now all he needed was to get drunk out of his ass and forget about Choi San.
“Text me the address” Wooyoung replied and Yeosang and Hongjoong high fived.
Notes:
cliffhanger much? we all know they going to meet at that party though lol
also, 200+ kudos? WHAT
thank you guys so much for all the comments, all this updates are only possible because the feedback is making me really excited to develop those babies, thank you so much for your interest and i promise the best is yet to come - fast, i swear!
Chapter 10: 10
Notes:
i used this song as an inspiration for this chapter > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q31tGyBJhRY
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
San’s mood was dampened ever since Wooyoung left.
Of course he expected the denial, he’s not dumb. He wasn’t even sure why he asked; just a few hours ago he was trying to convince his friends – and himself – that spending more time with was the last thing he needed. But he just couldn’t help himself. One hour went by way too quickly and he just blurted out the first thing that popped into his mind to try and make him stay. It didn’t work and Wooyoung seemed to be upset so that put a permanent scowl on San’s face.
After he left the library he got a text from Arin asking if he was going to Mingi’s party. San thought long and hard about it, but the last thing he wanted was to get drunk and release his frustration on an oblivious Arin. So he decided not go.
He was laying on his bed seeing his friends stories, a few already at the party and others posting outfits and such. It seemed like everyone and their cats were going to be there. San sighed and locked his phone to take a shower. He just wanted to sleep.
When he left the bathroom he noticed that someone was calling him. He saw Jongho’s number but before he could answer his phone stopped ringing. It was a few minutes past 11pm now, so Jongho was probably calling to try and convince him to show up. He called back and his friend answered on the second ring.
“Why are you not here yet?” Jongho seemed to be screaming but the noise in the background was not too loud.
“I’m not in the mood” San answered, propping down on the bed.
“I think you should be here, though” He said and by the way he sounded, he seemed to be smirking.
“Why?” San asked, rolling his eyes and laying down.
Jongho didn’t answer and San felt his phone vibrating indicating a new message. He saw that Jongho sent him a picture and frowned before opening it.
He almost dropped his phone on his face when he saw the content. It was a bit blurry and dark, and clearly took without consent, but it was definitely Wooyoung in the picture. Holding a drink in his hand, he seemed to be smiling at someone that San couldn’t recognize. He heard Jongho at the other end of the line screaming a pointed hurry up! before hanging up.
San was scrambling to put up some clothes before he could even think about it. He had put together an outfit in less than ten minutes and was out of the door in a flash. Mingi’s place was at least twenty minutes away from his and he spent half of the drive there staring at the blurry picture on his phone. Wooyoung seemed to be having fun and that put a smile on San’s face. He wasn’t entirely sure that appearing was going to be a good idea; Wooyoung barely went out and if San had to bet, a scene like that would not happen again for at least another 3 months. He wasn’t looking forward to ruin his night. He would even refrain himself to talk to him, if possible. But witnessing that side of him was not something San was going to purposefully ignore.
When he arrived, San high fived almost everyone from the garden ‘til the entrance door. He could see a few girls whispering among themselves, probably wondering why he came alone. Arin was there with her friends and he would see her sooner or later, but he went straight in looking for Jongho. He would probably be with Yeosang and by association, with Wooyoung.
Mingi’s house was ridiculously big, having three stores and a pool at the back, where a DJ was blasting some pop music and most of the people were located at. He went as far as putting a dance floor on the grass and San wanted to roll his eyes; that was such a Mingi thing.
Jongho was sitting in a chair on the improvised bar beside Seonghwa and Yunho, who was already dancing on his seat, probably just a few drinks away from joining the dance floor himself. He approached them knowing that everyone knew that he only appeared after Jongho’s picture and the judgmental stare Seonghwa was giving him was enough proof. Yunho grabbed him a drink and he sat in between Jongho and Seonghwa.
“Don’t mention it” He said with a pout when Seonghwa kept staring at him with a smug face. The older doubled over with laugh.
“Enjoy the view then” Seonghwa screamed on his ear. “He’s a pretty good dancer”
And enjoy it San did.
It took a few minutes for Wooyoung to be on his line of vision. But once he did, San couldn’t look away.
Wooyoung was wearing the most enticing leather pants one could ever own. It didn’t left anything to imagination and San was only looking from afar. He couldn’t allow himself to imagine just how tight that would look up close. He was wearing a mesh long sleeved top, with laced cuffs. It was a button up, with the first three buttons undone and the exposed skin of his chest was glistening with what looked like a slim layer of sweat. Damn it, San wanted to lick it off. He was also sporting combat boots and to top it all off, he was wearing the choker San had given him earlier that week. San wasn’t even aware that Wooyoung had taken it and he wanted to laugh at his misery; he looked like a dream.
And if the way he looked was a dream, the way he moves is a nightmare. San downed the second drink in a roll while basking on the sight of Wooyoung moving his body to the sensual beat of the music blasting through the speakers. He danced like no one else watching – or the contrary, San wasn’t sure. He only had eyes for him but it was not possible for him to be the only one in that sea of people to notice just how otherworldly Wooyoung seemed at that moment – and that was the most carefree San had ever seen him.
Wooyoung was dancing with Yeosang, both of them a sight to see while they rolled around each other, head thrown back and arms around one another while swaying to the music. San risked a glance at Jongho and that boy was definitely as entranced and he was.
It took almost four whole songs until the inevitable happened and their eyes met through the dance floor. San was staring shamelessly and Wooyoung halted on his step when he first noticed him. San was wearing all black, hair pushed back. He knew that with barely any effort he would still look good and thanked the heavens for it; if he had put up an effort every time he went out, his social life would be incredibly duller. San was leaning back on his chair, drink in one hand and the other resting at the back rest of his seat. Almost as a habit, he was man spreading as most as the space could allow it and a sly smirk bloomed on his face when he noticed Wooyoung was drinking on the sight of him. San acknowledge him by raising his cup and Wooyoung decided that was the best moment to turn his back at him, focusing back on Yeosang who was watching it all play out with a smirk of his own.
“That was sad to watch” Seonghwa said and San could almost feel him rolling his eyes. “Do something”
And San was about to. He was about to get up, grab Wooyoung by the hand and find the closest empty room to kiss the daylights out of him. But then the reason why he couldn’t stood in front of him with such a big smile that San felt so ashamed he wanted to disappear.
“Hi, baby!” Arin said and fit herself in between his legs, hands on his shoulders, blocking his vision of the dance floor. “You told you wouldn’t come” She said and her tone was not accusatory but she sounded confused.
“The guys pestered me so much that I decided to pass by. Sorry I didn’t find you first” He said and gave her a peck on her glossy lips and held her by the waist.
“It’s okay. But are you feeling better?” She asked and stroked his jaw lovingly with a concerned glance. He had told her some bullshit about having a massive headache, the reason why he was skipping the party.
“Yeah, I took some medicine” He smiled.
“Don’t drink too much then” She said with a pointed look to his cup. He nodded and kissed her again. “I’ll go back to the girls, but call me when you feel like leaving so we can go together, okay?” She said sweetly and after he nodded his head, she gave him one last, long kiss before going on her way.
After the view of the dance floor was not obstructed anymore, he searched for Wooyoung again. Ashamed this time, but searching nonetheless. But he was nowhere to be found. San looked at Jongho who was still beside him with a confused glance and the other just shook his head with a sorry expression on his face.
San slumped down on his seat groaning in frustration.
+
Tonight had to be all about him. No thoughts of college, assignments or Choi San. And Wooyoung was doing great in keeping it that way.
He knew there was a possibility of San being there, of course. It was a party and that was second nature for him. But after Arin appeared alone and San’s friends were together without the captain, Wooyoung relaxed and thanked the gods up above for giving him the easy way.
But he thought way too soon and a few drinks into his inebriated state, San appeared. And he was looking as good as ever when Wooyoung first saw him. He felt bad – and blamed the alcohol – when the first thought he had was just how much he was going to enjoy going down on him. San was a menace and Wooyoung was aware of just how much the player knew he could affect him. It was obvious for the way he was sitting and the way he was looking at him, like every one of Wooyoung’s wants were written on his forehead. And maybe they were, Wooyoung was already intoxicated enough to not be sure about it.
Wooyoung can hold his liquor, that’s one of the things he’s proud of. But tonight it seemed to be an exception. He would blame it on the amount of time he had spent without putting a single drop of alcohol in system – more than 6 months, if he’s correct – and the way his friends were encouraging him to keep on drinking that mysterious sweet mixture they were giving him. But he was not complaining. The alcohol made him loose, made him feel more like himself as he danced the night away with his friends without a fucking care in the world.
But of course things wouldn’t work well for him, of fucking course. He had to be halfway out of his mind the moment he saw San kiss Arin, just a few meters away from him. Even if it was something he was aware he could not control, Wooyoung didn’t feel proud of the way he felt witnessing it. More than anything he was jealous. It was like the little green monster had stung him – and brought probably another hundred friends to do the same – as his vision zeroed in on the moment. He felt a hand on his arm dragging him away but he was not seeing clearly anymore. There weren’t tears on his eyes or anything remotely close to sadness, he felt numb all together. The alcohol on his system was making his thoughts run a million miles per hour but his body feel as light as feather. Everything around him was a weird blur of lights and a constant buzz on his ear was making him feel like he was underwater for a long time.
Wooyoung felt himself being sat on a hard wooden bench in a place he had no idea where, and suddenly Yeosang and Hongjoong were knelt in front of him. It took a few seconds for his brain to be able to understand what they were saying, the weird buzz dissipating little by little.
“…him home.” He caught the end of what Yeosang was saying but had no idea what the topic was.
“What?” He asked his friend, brows burrowed and body slumping forward.
“I told Hongjoong I’m going to get you home” Yeosang said.
“WHAT?” Wooyoung didn’t meant to, but his voice came out in a strident scream. “I’m not going home. Why should I?” He said, feeling his tongue heavy.
“Because you’re drunk” Hongjoong said, rolling his eyes.
“So what? It’s a party! People are supposed to get drunk” Wooyoung said, making grand gestures with his hands.
“I don’t trust a drunk you around the object of your affection” Yeosang said with a glare.
“The obj… what?” Wooyoung said, confused. “Don’t say such big words, I’m not the mood” He pouted. “Listen, I came here to have FUN!” He grabbed both his friends by the shoulder and brought them close to his face. “Let me have fun” He whispered, his drunk brain finding it the funniest thing in the world and breaking on a fit of giggles afterwards.
He saw as his friends exchanged a glance but shrugged at the end. They helped Wooyoung get up and Hongjoong only allowed him to get back to the party after he downed a whole bottle of water.
When going back to rock the dance floor again, Wooyoung bumped into a big, sturdy body that held him by the arms preventing him from hitting the floor. When he looked up to see his savior, his eyes lit up.
“MINGI!” Wooyoung screamed and threw himself in the taller guy’s arms.
They hugged for what seemed like forever until Wooyoung felt like he needed to let him go.
“Hey you” Mingi said with a big smile that warmed Wooyoung’s heart. “Care to explain why you disappeared on me?” The blonde said with a light jab on his side. “You were always the life of my parties and then suddenly I couldn’t even get a hold of you”
Wooyoung and Mingi go way back. They went to middle and high school together and always had each other on their social circles. They weren’t best friends but if there was someone Wooyoung knew would ways have his back, it was Mingi.
After going to different colleges, they weren’t in touch as much as they used to, especially after Wooyoung had decided to forgo that part of his life to focus on his future. Mingi was the party boy and Wooyoung had barely seen him outside a crowded room in the last few years so when that stopped being a routine for Wooyoung, he also stopped seeing his friend regularly.
But Mingi would always be Mingi and he held a special place in Wooyoung’s heart. He remembered Mingi was one of the first people who called bullshit on Yeojun’s story back in high school and stood by his side. Mingi was like a lion when it came to the people he cared about and Wooyoung happened to be one of those lucky ones. He knew that if someday he needed someone to drop kick someone in the balls without asking question, Mingi would do it for him without batting an eyelash.
So seeing him again was more than appreciated. It was like a warm hug in the middle of that suddenly freezing room.
“I decided to be responsible” Wooyoung said making a puking expression.
“Sounds fun” Mingi said, mimicking him.
“Is it the alcohol speaking or have grown taller?” Wooyoung said, squinting his eyes looking up at him.
“You’re probably shrinking” Mingi joked and patted the top of his head mockingly.
“I’m even wearing insoles, don’t insult me!” Wooyoung cried out and Mingi’s laugh echoed in his ears. He had missed that.
They spent a few more minutes mocking each other good heartedly before someone caught Mingi’s attention.
“Oh, man! He looks so good tonight!” Mingi said with a dreamy sigh and Wooyoung followed his line of vision. He could not pinpoint exactly who his friend was talking about since he was looking to a sea of people ahead of him.
“Who?” Wooyoung said curious, craning his neck to try and see who Mingi was seeing.
“Jeong Yunho” Mingi said. “You go to the same college, I think”
“Yeah, he’s on the football team” Wooyoung said, as if the was offensive.
“I know, I’ve been to a few games. You have no idea how attractive that man is when he’s dirty and sweat” Mingi said, almost contemplative. Wooyoung didn’t and would not like to know. About Yunho or any other player of that team. Especially that one.
“Seem’s kinky” Wooyoung joked and Mingi gave a hearty laugh. “Why don’t you try? You were never one to turn off a challenge”
“It’s not a challenge, I know he wants me” Mingi said, sly smile making way this time. Wooyoung made a suggestive face, moving his eyebrows. “But I just… I freeze every time I think about talking to him in person” Mingi said and his eyes were soft now. Wooyoung could follow the direction he was looking now and saw Yunho. He was sitting on the same spot, beside the same people. Ew.
“Ew” Wooyoung mocked him again and Mingi punched his arm with a smile. “I can help” He suggested and Mingi looked at him with his squinted eyes. “C’mon I have always been an awesome wingman” Wooyoung said and Mingi rolled his eyes again. He couldn’t deny that.
“You’re friends with him?” Mingi asked.
“No” Wooyoung shrugged. “And that works wonders! I’m just an uninterested third part” Wooyoung said and could see that Mingi was not convinced.
“C’mon man! How long have you been avoiding that moment?” Wooyoung asked, trying to give a failed pep talk. Mingi said an almost audible months and Wooyoung was suddenly outraged. “See?! Months! You lucky I’m here today! It’s not just some coincidence, I came to make your dreams come true” Wooyoung blurted like he was preaching and Mingi laughed again.
“I should’ve exchanged that with water a few minutes ago” Mingi said trying to the cup from Wooyoung’s hand.
“I’m not drunk, c’mon! Not as much as I was, at least” And that was true, after the water and the minutes he spent talking with Mingi without a drink in hand, his skin was not buzzing as much anymore and his thoughts came a little more coherent. “But if I was entirely sober, I wouldn’t talk to him at all”
“My point exactly!” Mingi said.
“Complete different situations here!” Wooyoung said with denying hand gestures. “You are a princess with a crush” He said and Mingi pouted. “Look, I’ll talk to him and you wait at the edge of the dance floor, I’ll tell him to meet you there and then fell free to work your magic”
Mingi was still reluctant but Wooyoung pushed him through the grinding bodies until he agreed and stood on his place. Wooyoung gave him a thumbs up before making the opposite way and marching towards the bar were Yunho was sat at.
Wooyoung could see that the 3 pairs of eyes in the bar were looking at him – Jongho was not there anymore, probably sucking faces with Yeosang somewhere – and tried not to be intimidated. He was drunk, he was always a confident drunk. Doesn’t matter if San was looking at him so expectantly as he approached. When he stopped in front of Yunho looking into his eyes with a fierce expression, they all seemed a little lost.
“You” Wooyoung said, pointing at the taller one.
“Me” Yunho responded with a grin.
“We have business” Wooyoung said making a gesture with his hands pointing between the two of them.
“Do we?” Yunho said with a smile but Wooyoung felt at ease with him. It was not a mocking smile, but it seemed rather playful.
“Yes, come with me” Wooyoung said and grabbed him by the wrist, not in a forceful way, he could let go if he wanted. Yunho hesitated and Wooyoung could see him looking sideways. It was rather obvious that he was looking for permission or something from San and that annoyed Wooyoung to the core. He looked at the player sitting in the middle who was looking at him with an expression that didn’t seem pleased. They started a staring competition and San’s scowl was growing every passing second that San didn’t let go of Yunho. Wooyoung wanted to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. When he was the one jealous, he was immediately out of the picture and now San has the balls to look pissed. Wooyoung made an annoyed expression almost as if screaming on his face do you mind?! and San gave an incredulous sigh, turning around and crossing his arms in front of his chest like a petulant child. “C’mon” He said to Yunho after the little moment was over.
+
San was a bit speechless, to be honest.
After Yunho left with Wooyoung, San was sighing so loud every few seconds that it took less than two whole minutes for Seonghwa to get fed up of him.
“If you’re so upset about it, go after them” The older say in an exasperated tone. “I mean, it’s not like you have any reason to but, suit yourself”
San knew Seonghwa was right. Out of every person he knew, Yunho was the least capable of stabbing him in the back. It was not that San was thinking Wooyoung was flirting with his friend, or even trying to make Yunho flirt with him for that matter, far from it. The other boy seemed to be focused on something – that involved Yunho – but San couldn’t see any undertone of something more in the way he was talking.
Not that San knew him or how Wooyoung flirted when he was drunk, of course. That was the first time he ever caught a glimpse of the other boy in a party so everything was new to him. But he knew that, even if he was pissed drunk, Wooyoung would be the last person to want to draw attention to whatever it was going on after them. San also knew better than to think Wooyoung was trying to make him jealous; he didn’t seem the type to go that far.
But there was the little voice of unreason on his ear telling him to meddle. Even if he had no right, he knew that. He understood since he stepped foot on the party that he wasn’t there to mess with Wooyoung’s night, far from it. He wanted the boy to enjoy it to his heart’s content. But where Yunho fit on his fun time?
San tried to get a glimpse of them, Yunho not really hard to miss when he was towering half of the party. But they were nowhere in sight so San said a breathy fuck it and went to search for them.
He found them after just a few minutes. They were not really hiding, just near the other bar Mingi had set up for the party. Yunho was laughing at something Wooyoung was saying and San felt his heart clench. He watched them from afar even if it felt a little creepy. Not even after two whole minutes, he saw as Yunho gave Wooyoung a thumbs up and a little pat on the head before getting up and going on the opposite direction of where he was previously sitting. His eyes followed his friend until he disappeared through the crowd. He couldn’t see where he went, but it didn’t feel like he was coming back since Wooyoung was getting up from his chair as well. San was about to go back himself but as he saw Wooyoung losing his foot while stepping down from the chair, his legs walked before he could even think about it.
San was able to hold Wooyoung by the arm before the short one swayed – San wasn’t sure if it was for the nearly fall or the alcohol – and stabilized him on his foot. Wooyoung looked at him after saying a small thank you and wrenched his arm out of his grip when he realized who helped him out.
“Are you following me or what?” Wooyoung say and San could only breath in the alcohol coming from him. “Last time I checked I was the stalker” He said again and something about his tone was so bitter than San felt uncomfortable when he remembered he was the one who made that joke.
“Where are your friends?” San asked, disregarding his question. He looked around searching for one of the two people Wooyoung would probably not reject help from.
“Yeosang is probably sucking faces with Jongho somewhere. Gross” San looked at him as he downed the whole content of his cup in one go. That wasn’t looking good. “And Hongjoong is… Hongjooing somewhere” He said again and plopped back down on his chair, now seeming more confused than before. His eyes were a little unfocused and San knew it would be better for Wooyoung to rest somewhere.
“Come here” San said to him and Wooyoung protested a bit before allowing San to guide him out of the party. The garden was full of people but still more airy than inside where too many people were occupying too little space.
San made him sit down on a bench far from the rest of the people and Wooyoung seemed to enjoy the breeze.
“You feel like going home?” San asked and Wooyoung gave a bitter laugh.
“Yeosang already tried that, you can stop” He said and saw as his head lolled back to the sides.
“You should tone down on the drinking then. The party will be much more enjoyable if you’re actually awake” He tried to joke it out.
“The party stopped being enjoyable the moment you arrived” Wooyoung said almost like a reflex, it was out so fast that it could be nothing but the truth. “Why don’t you go find your girlfriend and leave me be?” Wooyoung said and his tone was tired. “Don’t mind me” He said again and his voice was distant. “I’m just in the corner, watching you kiss her” Wooyoung said again in a whisper and laughing afterwards. It was not a happy laugh San could say.
San was about to retort, to say anything really, but he noticed Wooyoung intoxicated self humming a melody and his body was swaying from side to side, almost unconsciously. He wasn’t laughing anymore. San was able to make out the whispered words and felt his heart break a little at every line.
I'm right over here, why can't you see me?
And I’m giving it my all
But I’m not the guy you’re taking home
I keep dancing on my own.
“Get up” San said in an impulse before Wooyoung could sing another word. Wooyoung swatted his hand away when San tried to get a hold of him but San tried again and again against his hurtles slaps until Wooyoung grew tired of it and let himself be hoisted up.
“The hell are you doing?” Wooyoung asked with his heavy tongue when San wrapped a hand around his wrist and started to guide him out of the party.
“Taking you home” He said, decided.
+
Things were happening too fast and Wooyoung was not really on board with it. Just a few moments ago he was explaining Yunho why Mingi was the most amazing man in the world and now Choi San is dragging him somewhere.
And he’s just letting him. His body is allowing itself to be gently pulled along and it was like his brain had lost all the ability it had to make decisions. It was just happening and Wooyoung wasn’t sure why he didn’t hold any strength to fight it.
Maybe he didn’t want it. Maybe he really just wanted San to take him home. Who knows.
They only stopped when a greater good with a name of Kim Hongjoong appeared on their way and halted their steps. He stood protectively on Wooyoung’s side, hands wrapped around his arm ready to drag him away if necessary. Wooyoung noticed that he was not alone, a familiar tall figure behind him approached in hurried steps and stood beside San, asking him something that Wooyoung couldn’t hear.
“Where were you taking him?” Hongjoong asked and for someone his size, it was like all the rage in the world lived on him.
“Home” San answered calmly and Wooyoung saw that the other guy – Seonghwa – was now beside Hongjoong, a hand on his shoulder as if to show support or something. Weird.
“Like hell you are” Hongjoong said and huffed before trying to pry San’s hands off of Wooyoung. Before he could do that though, Seonghwa held his hand in a way that seemed to intimate for it to be the first time. Wooyoung was unabashedly looking at them trying to make his mushy brain process whatever that was.
“He’s not going with him, Seonghwa” Hongjoong whispered and his hand on Wooyoung got tighter almost unconsciously.
“I trust San with my life, Joong” Seonghwa said and gave a pointed look at the boy behind Wooyoung’s shoulders.
He was feeling like a kid being disputed by his parents, one wrapped around each side of him. But just like a kid would probably feel, he wasn’t sure who he wanted to go with.
“I don’t care. If Wooyoung was sober enough to make a decision, he wouldn’t go with him, I know that” Hongjoong said and Wooyoung wanted to hug him. That was a best friend right there.
But Wooyoung also didn’t want to make a scene and the way he was being held in between the two guys was about to drag attention to them sooner or later. So he had to let go of someone. But who?
“He’s not good for him” Hongjoong whispered and Wooyoung’s legs felt like that was the perfect moment to fail him. He stumbled and San supported his weight with his body, front pressed to Wooyoung’s side and a hand on his hip. He whispered a low are you okay? to which Wooyoung only nodded and returned his attention to the two people on front of him. It was weird the way Seonghwa was looking at Hongjoong. Like he knew something Wooyoung didn’t, like he was seeing something Wooyoung couldn’t. And all Wooyoung could think was that that was a beautiful way to look at someone. So he made his decision, solely because he wanted Seonghwa to look at Hongjoong like that for a longer time.
He gently took San’s hands that was still at his hip away and tugged at Hongjoong arm softly to demand his attention. His friend turned at him in a second.
“I’ll be fine” Wooyoung whispered and loosened Hongjoong’s grip on him. His friend made a defeated face and gave him a look that screamed are you sure to which Wooyoung only nodded with a small smile. “I promise”
Hongjoong rolled his eyes with a pout before enveloping him a tight hug. Wooyoung let himself be held because looking back at it now, he wasn’t sure when was the last time he had hugged someone. When they separated Hongjoong wasn’t looking at him anymore.
“Take care of him. Don’t let him regret this” Hongjoong said to San.
“I won’t” Wooyoung wanted to roll his eyes and say he was no kid, he knew how to take care of himself. But something about San’s tone felt like a promise and something deep inside made Wooyoung want to hold him onto it.
There was a car already waiting for them when they left Mingi’s house. San guided him all the way until he was inside of the car with a hand on the small of his back. Wooyoung didn’t want to think about anything. About how many people saw their exchange, about who will talk about what throughout the rest of the party, how San will explain to his girlfriend why he disappeared on her or worse, why someone saw him getting in a car with his tutor. None of it mattered now, all of the problems were left outside of the door and Wooyoung would only think about them when they present themselves.
For now, all he can think about is the warmth coming from San where Wooyoung’s head is laying on his shoulder and the hand slowly massaging his scalp. That moment with him felt so peaceful that Wooyoung feel asleep without even noticing it.
Notes:
another cliffhanging because i can't help myself, sorry. there's not a lot of action on this chapter BUT i'll give you guys a spoiler for the next chapter: FLUFFY!!!!
anyways, thank you SO MUCH for all the comments and the kudos, you have no idea how happy that makes me, really!
Chapter 11: 11
Summary:
San and Wooyoung spend the weekend together.
Notes:
look, that's a monster. a 8k words monster because i just can't help myself.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It took them less than 20 minutes to arrive at Wooyoung’s dorm room. It was closer than San’s own and with the reputation his friends had to just barge in whenever they wanted San didn’t trust Wooyoung would have enough rest if he took him there. Also, the other boy would probably freak out if he woke up in a unknown place, San thought as he dragged a half asleep Wooyoung through the front stairs, pushing the button to Wooyoung floor on the elevator before fixing his look back at him.
Most of his weight was supported by San, the smaller boy almost dead on his feet. But San was not complaining. Wooyoung was mumbling some incoherent words and as funny as it was giving his current state, it was also the cutest San had ever seen him be.
“C’mon sleepyhead” San whispered to him as the elevator door opened and dragged him to his door. “I’ll need your help for a second here, angel” San whispered again as he leaned Wooyoung on the wall beside his door. It was a feat on itself to make the boy stand on his feet without falling to the sides. But San needed to search for a key that was probably in one of Wooyoung’s pockets. When he realized that, he froze.
San was no saint. Even if he had zero interest in a no consenting, half asleep Wooyoung, he was still wearing those damned leather pants. San would have to touch him to search for those keys and that piece of clothing would not make it easy for him. San took a deep breath and steadied Wooyoung on his feet again when the boy swayed before looking at his face with a pout. The things he put himself through…
“I’ll touch you now, please don’t kill me when you wake up” San said in a sorry whisper.
He put his hand on Wooyoung’s back pocket, trying to think exclusively about the key, not the way he could feel his body perfectly underneath the fabric. He couldn’t find the key in neither of the pockets so he looked for in the front and that was even harder. San took a few deep breaths before rummaging through the front hole but once again, nothing. He took a step back to try and look for more pockets on Wooyoung’s pant but there was none.
“Hey beautiful” San whispered to Wooyoung again the other boy groaned a bit, leaning onto him and putting his head on his chest, wrapping his arms around San’s middle. The player smiled and hugged him back, trying to not think too much about Wooyoung’s actions on his inebriated state. “Can you tell me where your key is?” San whispered again, hands running through Wooyoung’s hair and his tutor let a sight of satisfaction at the touch. San was probably just making him sleepier with his actions, but he couldn’t help. “C’mon Woo, I need to put you to bed”
“Mat” San heard him mumble and looked around seeing the doormat in front of the door. The worst place to put a key, San thought. He’ll need to have a conversation with sober Wooyoung about it.
San leaned him back on the wall again and crouched down to pick the key. After maneuvering both of them inside and locking the door, San looked around. It was exactly the same way it was when he had been there the day prior and he felt a smile blooming on his face with the memories.
Wooyoung’s bedroom was just a few steps away from the living room and the smaller boy seemed to be more cooperative now, probably smelling the familiarity of his home and allowed San to push him along easily. San took the covers off the bed before gently laying Wooyoung in it. The boy was still fully clothed and San took probably the tenth deep breath in the last ten minutes before starting to undo his shoes. They came off easily and he set them at the foot of the bed, leaving in Wooyoung’s line of view so no imprudent thought would run around his head the moment he would wake.
When the moment came to take off the pants, San was torn. It would be more than uncomfortable for Wooyoung to sleep on it but also, San was not sure the tutor would be okay with him removing it.
Wooyoung was sprawled on the bed, hair adorning the pillow almost like a halo and a piece of skin showing right above his pants where the shirt had ridden up when he lay. San exhaled and sat on the bed beside him, hands unconsciously going to his hip to give a soft caress to the exposed skin.
“I need you to do just one more thing for me, beautiful” San whispered. Wooyoung didn’t move so he leaned closer, faces just a hairsbreadth away. Wooyoung’s breath was coming in small puffs, the scent a mix of stale beer and liquor and San still wanted to kiss him just as much. He let their noses touch, a small, innocent action before dragging his face upward until he was able to deposit a kiss on Wooyoung’s forehead. The latter sighed, almost in contentment and San found an arm being deposited on his lap, a hand curling around his waist in what seemed an attempt at a hug. San gave him another kiss and leaned back, calling his name again. “C’mon, look at me” He whispered.
Wooyoung mumbled a low hmm and opened his eyes just enough to let San know he was awake.
“Can you help me take off your pants or do you want to sleep in them?” San asked, hand going to take Wooyoung’s hair off of his face.
“Off” He mumbled and San nodded, getting up to start his task.
He willed his brain to be as rational as it could. That meant that none of that exchange had any sexual meaning. And truth to his words, he managed to take Wooyoung out of the pants – with his tutor helping as he could, lifting his hips off the bed and shimming out of the material because that was tight – with minor inconveniences and put a blanket over his half naked body before sitting at his side again to give him one last goodnight kiss.
“Stay” He heard Wooyoung mumble and hold onto his wrist.
“I’ll be sleeping on the couch if you need me” San whispered back to him. He wasn’t about to leave Wooyoung alone in the state he was in, even more so now that he learned he left a spare key under the fucking doormat.
“Stay here” Wooyoung mumbled again and San smiled.
“I’m staying, beautiful” He caressed Wooyoung fringe one more time before trying to get up only to be stopped by Wooyoung forcing his arm down again.
“Lay down here” Wooyoung whispered but it seemed almost like a scream in the quiet of the room. “I want you to hold me” He whispered again, eyes closed and a serene expression.
And San was only just a human. There were things he knew he shouldn’t do, lines he knew he shouldn’t cross. But he was not strong enough to resist all of them. So he indulged both of their wants. He was doing it for Wooyoung just as much as for himself. He had lay awake thinking about something like this for a few nights now and was not about to deny them of a moment they both so desperately wanted.
San took of his own shoes and crossed the bed to lay on Wooyoung’s side, the smaller boy instantly turning to face him and adjusting himself on his arms. Wooyoung lay on his chest, one leg draping around San’s. The player smiled and nudged him closer by the thigh, securing a hand around it while the other went to caress Wooyoung’s soft hair that smelled like smoke and peaches. San could get addicted to it. With the weight of Wooyoung on him, San let his eyes fall shut and slept the night away.
+
Sleep evaded Wooyoung before he was ready to open his eyes.
He was too comfortable, the warmth and darkness of the room making it hard to want to get up. Also, the body pressing up against his was enough incentive to stay put.
He wasn’t sure if it was a good thing that he remembered every single thing that had happened the night before. It probably was, he would freak out if he woke up with an unknown body on his bed. But it was San behind him, familiar and comforting.
Wooyoung took a deep breath before opening his eyes and looking for his phone. Fortunately it was on the bedside table and the clock marked 9am; way too early for a Saturday. He let his eyes fall shut again even if he knew he wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep anyways; the knowledge of San being there made his sleepiness evaporate and his focus shift back to every single point of contact between them.
San’s chest was pressed to his back, his head tucked comfortably on the side of his neck, his breath making the hairs at Wooyoung’s nape stand. San also had an arm thrown around Wooyoung’s middle, tight around him and their legs were intertwined together. His bare legs could feel the rough material of San’s jeans but it wasn’t unpleasant. It served to make him remember how San was the gentlest soul with him, making sure he was comfortable at every given moment. Wooyoung couldn’t help but smile at the memories and let his own hand envelop San’s on his stomach, locking their fingers together. He felt the other boy stir behind him and the hand on his squeeze softly.
“You’re awake?” He heard a sleep laced whisper behind him and shuddered a bit with the warmth on his neck.
“Yes, good morning” He whispered back and felt a sneaky kiss being deposited on his neck. His body automatically shifted to fit closer to San’s and the player brought him closer giving sleepy kisses on his shoulder and the beginning of his back.
He felt San stopping for a bit and resuming his kisses just a few seconds later, lips tracing the extent of the tattoo Wooyoung had just underneath his neck. It made him shudder again and his breath come out roughly. The hand on his stomach started to wander as well, risking just a feel underneath his shirt and Wooyoung melted when San’s warm hands made contact with his skin. San was kissing every bit of him he could reach without straying away of their positions, bodies locked together. It was soft and lazy, almost reverent the way San invaded his space with such care. Wooyoung was almost drifting back to sleep with San’s gentle caresses when a loud ring scared them both. San groaned before separating their bodies to look for his phone on the floor beside the bed. Wooyoung took the moment to get up himself and enter the bathroom. He didn’t spare San a look and locked the door before letting his body sage against it.
Once again, a plethora of feelings were fighting against each other inside his head; happiness, want, desire. But also sorrow, guilty and shame. Waking up together to lazy morning kisses after a night out was not something Wooyoung had dared to imagine. He knew he couldn’t. But having it was fantastic. Feeling San so close to him, so willing and so real was more than he could have ever asked for. But the ring of his phone only served as a reminder that Wooyoung shouldn’t be the one waking up beside him. He didn’t have the heart to stay and hear San probably talking with his girlfriend when only seconds ago there were just them in the world.
Wooyoung took his time to brush his teeth and splash cold water on his face to set his thoughts straight. He also put on some sweatpants that were hanging behind the door. It didn’t help a lot. When he left the bathroom San was already up and putting on his shoes. Wooyoung leaned on the door frame to watch him. San was still wearing the same clothes as yesterday, a little rumpled now for sleeping in them but still looking as breathtaking as ever, the bed head only adding up to the look. When San noticed him staring he got up and joined him in slow steps. Wooyoung gave him a shy smile and crossed his arms in front of his chest, almost defensively.
“How are you feeling?” San asked, hands finding Wooyoung’s hair and pushing back, caressing his head. Wooyoung fought to keep his eyes open and looking at him.
“Like I fought death and won unfortunately” Wooyoung whispered and let his head fall forward in San’s chest. It seemed like his new favorite place in the world.
He felt the low chuckle the boy let out before passing his arms around him in a soft hug, one hand on his neck and the other on his shoulders. Wooyoung lost every resistance on him and let his own arms sneak around San’s slim frame, hugging him back while he still could.
“Do you have any aspirins?” San asked him. “It will make you feel better”
“I already took one” Wooyoung said into his shirt.
“Good, you’ll be good to go in a few hours” San said but made no attempt to release him.
Wooyoung had no idea how long they stood there in each other’s arms but it felt like not enough when San let out a sigh and Wooyoung knew he needed to leave.
“Can you stay for breakfast? It’s the least I can do for all the trouble I caused you last night” Wooyoung said quickly before San could let go of him. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to ask looking into his eyes.
He judged San for doing exactly the same thing the day prior. For trying to find excuses and reasons to stay. But he couldn’t help it; having San so close made him want to throw cautious out the window.
“It was no trouble. I would do it all over again if it meant I’ll wake up with you beside me” San said and gave a small kiss to the crown of his head.
Wooyoung groaned and playfully pinched San’s sides. “You can’t say shit like that, Choi San”
“I can’t help myself around you, beautiful” San said and Wooyoung rolled his eyes.
“You’re the cringiest” Wooyoung said fondly.
“You still want to feed me, though” San said and pulled Wooyoung’s head back by the hair softly to look at him. “Don’t you?”
“I’m still drunk” Wooyoung said and San smiled fondly at him. “I’ll spend the whole weekend drunk” Wooyoung continued and they weren’t smiling anymore.
They both understood what was implied in that phrase.
“The whole weekend?” Say repeated in a whisper and Wooyoung nodded.
“Two whole days” Wooyoung said. “If I remember correctly, you promised to take care of me” He said and averted his eyes. He was playing a dangerous game. San was ready to leave and he was just a word away of begging him to stay.
“I did” San said and the hands on his hair tightened, almost like San was grounding himself.
Wooyoung took a deep breath and drowned himself in San’s body again.
“Let me have you just for the weekend. I’ll give you back to her by Monday morning” He whispered, almost ashamed now.
All of his pride left him. Every little thing he fought so hard for just abandoned him the moment he saw a possibility of having Choi San for himself. He knew the disappointment was just a word away when San would have to deny him. He knew he was being weak and pathetic just like he swore he would never be again. But San confused everything. He wasn’t sure of nothing anymore the moment San’s arms held him, when his lips found his skin and his words left his mouth. San meant things Wooyoung was afraid of saying, he held a weight he was scare of measuring. He was a risk; a difficult, confused and unavailable risk. But a risk Wooyoung was willing to take anyways
“Just you and me for now, okay?” San whispered to him and Wooyoung nodded, fighting to steady his breathing.
+
It didn’t take more than a few seconds for Wooyoung to run away from him with the pretense of making breakfast. But San could see where he was coming from. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how hard that must have been for the smaller.
Wooyoung was the one forcing them to be responsible. He was the one thinking about how many people could get hurt if they were reckless; the one seeing the bigger picture and pointing out to San where things could go wrong. So for him to let go of all these worries and let them be; it was a type of courage San wasn’t sure he had and just one more thing to add to the list of Wooyoung’s qualities.
So San let him be. Wooyoung was probably still processing the last few hours and the next few days they had to come. And so was San.
He had a few things to do and people to call before he could turn off his phone for the weekend and just enjoy Wooyoung’s company. Earlier in the morning, Seonghwa was the one calling him asking how everything went. San didn’t say much and agreed to meet the older later that day so they could talk. But now he had other plans so he took himself out of his stupor to start working things out.
Before rushing to the kitchen, Wooyoung told him about a spare toothbrush he had on the sink cabinet and San made use of it to get rid of his morning breath. He also was in desperate need of a shower but didn’t want to put the same clothes he had slept on so decided against it until he could either borrow something from Wooyoung or go to his dorm and pick a few change of clothes. After leaving the bathroom, San made the bed and before sitting down he grabbed his phone.
He quickly dialed Seonghwa’s number and the older picked up on the third ring.
“What’s up?” The older said.
“I won’t be able to meet you today, hyung” San said.
“Why? You’re okay?” The older said and San could practically see him frowning.
“Yeah, I’m fine. But hm…” He stopped because he knew Seonghwa would chew him alive for this. “I’ll be spending the weekend with Wooyoung” San said in one breath and the line was so quiet for a few seconds that San thought Seonghwa had hung up on him.
“Are you sure about that?” The older asked tone concerned.
“I am” San said. That was one of the few things he was certain of recently.
“You have no idea of what’re you doing, do you?” Seonghwa said again and his voice had a tinge of something that San could only think was disappointment.
“You were the one telling me to make a decision, why do you seem so against it now?” San said, bitter.
“And what decision did you made San? That you’re going to entertain him for the weekend and then what? Go back to your girlfriend?” When San stayed quiet Seonghwa let out a long breath. “This is fucked up San. I know you care about him, I can see it in your face and I know that you don’t want to hurt him. You can’t have them both, San. It’s not fair”
San knew that. It was almost printed behind his eyelids now with just how much he thought about it. And he knew that he needed to choose. But that wasn’t a choice between Wooyoung and Arin. As bad as it could sound, San was not torn between one or the other. He would choose Wooyoung in a heartbeat. But letting Arin go meant a part of his life would go with her. Part of the things he was so proud of, part of being the star, of being adored. To be judged and measured for the people who adores him. It was egoistic and selfish but he couldn’t help it. Having Arin by his side meant living the life he always dreamed of. And he was too scared of giving it up.
“Can you cover with her for me?” San asked and Seonghwa let out a sigh.
“I shouldn’t” Seonghwa said. “But I’ll handle things around here, don’t worry”
“Thank you, hyung” San said.
“Don’t thank me. Do me a favor instead” Seonghwa said. “Try to use this time with him to make up your mind. If you leave there still unsure of what you want, please let him go” The older said and San felt ashamed.
“Bye, hyung” San hung up before Seonghwa could say something else.
He wasn’t sure if he could decide anything being wrapped under whatever spells Wooyoung seems to put him to. But he would try; he owned that to Wooyoung, Arin and himself.
-
San left the bedroom and his senses were invaded by the delicious smell coming from the kitchen. He had no idea how hungry he was until now.
“That smell’s so good” He said as he entered the small kitchen and gave Wooyoung a hug from behind.
He had no idea where the boundaries were but he knew Wooyoung would never do something he wasn’t comfortable with. So when the smaller leaned back on him while stirring their food in the pan in front of him, San let himself relax.
“Well, I’m no chef myself but at least I won’t let us starve”
Wooyoung turned off the stove and gently pushed San aside so he could plate their food. San only sat down because Wooyoung already seemed to have taken care of everything and before he could think he was digging into his food. He only stopped eating when he heard a chuckle coming from Wooyoung.
“Good?” He asked and San only nodded with an embarrassed smile before Wooyoung joined him and started to eat himself.
After San took his second portion and started to eat slowly now, he decided the silence had extended for way too long.
“Did you let your friends know that you got home okay?” San asked and Wooyoung nodded, swallowing before speaking.
“Yeah, I called Hongjoong earlier. They wanted to pass by to check on me but I told them I already had company” He said, without meeting San’s eyes.
The player smiled but couldn’t help but wonder if Hongjoong’s reaction were as bad as Seonghwa’s.
“Are they ok with it?” San asked.
“No, but we’re all going to learn to live with it” Wooyoung said but more than determined, he sounded tired. San could relate. “I didn’t ask you to stay here so we could make out at every surface of my house, San. That’s not going to happen” Wooyoung said and sounded serious and it was obvious from his tone that, if that was what San thought the weekend was going to be like, he was free to walk out the door. It wasn’t. “I just want to be with you too” Wooyoung finished, averting his eyes again and San smiled fondly.
They finished eating in silence and San offered to do the dishes. While he was at it, Wooyoung hoped on the counter next to the sink and just kept watching him with a lopsided smile on his face. The whole task took longer than it should since San stopped to stare back at him like a love struck fool every five seconds or so.
After he finished putting everything back in place and drying his hands, San made himself comfortable between Wooyoung’s legs – and prayed to whoever it was out there that the smaller had had the time to put on some pants after waking up or that whole ordeal would have been way harder – who easily let him fit and put his arms around San’s neck, caging him.
“I’m dying for a shower” San said, pouting. “Could you lend me some clothes?”
Wooyoung quickly hoped out of counter and they both went to his closet to pick something for San. After he had everything he needed, he gave a quick peck to Wooyoung’s cheek and entered the bathroom for a much needed cold shower.
When he went out, Wooyoung was sprawled on the couch, seemingly freshly showered himself. He had no idea behind which door another bathroom was hidden, but was glad that he could just sit down with him now and snuggle the hell out of Wooyoung until they were tired of it.
Wooyoung took a quick look at him and San could see how he measured him from head to toe. He stored that look hungry look in the back of his mind for an alone time he knew would come sooner or later.
“What do you feel like watching?” Wooyoung asked after San sat down beside him.
They browsed through Netflix together for a few minutes before deciding on something to watch together. But it was forgotten after barely twenty minutes.
As the movie was playing, San saw as Wooyoung made himself comfortable at one side of the couch, sitting with his legs to his chest. He wanted to reach out and warp him in a hug but decided against with. He would go on Wooyoung’s pace.
But it didn’t take much for the smaller boy to huff and change positions, crossing his legs now. But he still didn’t seem comfortable and San was fighting a smile. Every time Wooyoung moved, he came a little bit closer to San. The player was sitting comfortably on the sofa, legs spread in front of him and hands supporting the back of his head. After almost ten minutes of pretending he didn’t want the closeness, Wooyoung gave up and lay sideways on the sofa, head rested on San’s thighs. It took less than a heartbeat for San’s hand to tangle with Wooyoung’s soft hair and the smaller melted at his touch. San tried to pretend he was still paying attention to whatever was playing on TV, but Wooyoung wasn’t making it easy for him. His tutor had completely abandoned the movie and was shamelessly looking at San. The player let out a sigh and shifted his eyes to look at the boy resting on his lap.
“You’re not being fair, you know?” San said with a smile.
“Why?” Wooyoung asked and the smile was mirrored on his face.
“You can’t just lay here looking at me like that and expect me not to want to kiss you until I have no air left in my fucking body” San said, almost pouting.
“It’s not like it’s easy for me, San” Wooyoung said with a sad smile.
“Then why are we doing this?” San asked genuinely confused.
It was obvious that being so close was hell for both of them. Then why were they insisting on hurting each other like that?
“I’m tired of pretending that I don’t want you, San” Wooyoung said, looking straight into his eyes. “I know it’s not less shitty just because we’re trying really hard not to kiss like we want to, but at least it makes me feel less guilty when I try to sleep at night” Wooyoung sat and turned his body to keep looking at him. “I don’t want to be the reason why you mess up your life, San”
San was the one feeling guilty now.
Was he so transparent? Was it so obvious how scared he was?
He had no idea how to convey everything he was feeling, how he would make Wooyoung understand that, in the middle of the hurricane of things that were twirling on San’s mind he was the only steady thing.
San had thought long and hard about Wooyoung and about what his feelings meant, and he understood what Wooyoung said. He knew that it was difficult given their situation, but he felt like a horrible person for not feeling guilty towards Arin.
She was a good girl and San was absolutely smitten. But it had been a while that he had seen her more as a friend, almost a sister, than as a girlfriend. It had been a few months since the last time they had even been intimate with each other and, looking at how their dynamics went, none of them seemed to miss it. San was never one to turn her down but, as much as he was distant, she was as well. He thought they were having a phase, but Wooyoung just appeared to make him understand that his moment with Arin was over. And, as much as he tried to think about her feelings, San wanted to be selfish. He wanted to forget about anyone else and think only about him and Wooyoung together the way they seemed to be meant to.
But he was still too much afraid of owning up to it. To let go of Arin meant that he needed to tell her the truth; it was the least he could do. To tell her that there was someone else. And that was the part he was not ready for. To come clean about Wooyoung and his feelings and the fall of his perfect boy imagine. Not that there was anything wrong with Wooyoung or the fact that he wanted to be with him, far from it. It was probably the most honest thing San had ever felt. But he knew his people and they wouldn’t have it easy.
He felt bad about using her, about thinking only of him and how being with her served a purpose. He remembered Wooyoung’s words a few weeks back when the smaller said he liked to use people to his benefit. And that was exactly what he was doing with Arin. Keeping her close and entertaining an idea of something that wasn’t real anymore just because it was the easiest way out.
At the same time, the thought of Wooyoung blaming himself for anything related to San’s own insecurities made a hole open on his stomach. San wanted Wooyoung to feel nothing but cherished by him and now here he was feeling guilty because San was a coward.
“Let’s make a deal, then” San said. “Remember when I told you it’s just us for now?” He asked and Wooyoung nodded. “Then let it be just us” San said again pulling Wooyoung towards him, making the smaller rest on his side, San’s arms wrapping around him. “Leave everyone else out of the door and don’t think about them. You said so yourself, we don’t have to go around fucking like rabbits” San said, pinching Wooyoung’s side and making the smaller huff a laugh. “I want so much more from you” San whispered into Wooyoung’s hair and his tutor leaned even more into his touch. “But don’t hold yourself back from doing anything you want to, okay?” It took a while but Wooyoung nodded. “I’ll gladly accept whatever you want to give me”
+
Wooyoung was torn between heaven and hell.
Being able to snuggle up to San while laying on the couch, or to just feel his hands running up and down his back while they talked the afternoon away tucked together side by side was like having his own basket full of ambrosia sent by the old gods themselves. It was like his own little taste of paradise. He decided to take San’s word for it and forget about everything else. He let himself get drunk on his presence without worrying of when it would end. They would make the best of it, he knew that.
They spent the whole day huddled up together on the couch, leaning against each other, bodies tangled and just so, so close that Wooyoung felt like he was starting to map out San’s body in his mind. They talked in whispers even if there was no one else around for them to wake when the night came.
Wooyoung learned so much about San.
He learned about his family back at home, about his taekwondo black belt, about how his father named him San and his sister Haneul because it meant Mountain and Sky and he as smiling through the whole day because it was just a beautiful way to think of your kids. He also learned how shy San was back in the days, how he didn’t had much friends and how college was his coming out of his shell. He just let San talk, and talk because it seemed like he meant something with it.
Wooyoung wasn’t sure but it seemed like San was making a statement of sorts. He knew the player was not downright saying what he wanted to say, almost like he was just giving Wooyoung little pieces of a much bigger puzzle so he could keep and put them together when time comes.
But Wooyoung wasn’t sure why. It was not like it was a tragic back story or a really deep wound that San was afraid of sharing. He was talking about it with a light heart, joking sometimes about his lack of social skills throughout high school. But Wooyoung could see that there was something more in it, something veiled behind the little puns and the smile San had on his face every time Wooyoung eagerly asked a new question.
And he understood what all of that was about when they went to bed and lay together under the blankets after eating pizza for dinner. San held him close and was petting his head, the sound of his heartbeat lulling Wooyoung until San’s raspy voice made him perk up.
“I can’t even remember the last time I had a moment like this with Arin” San started and Wooyoung felt like a punch was delivered to his stomach. He wasn’t sure about the feeling that accompanied it, though. “I know you see the big problem with us being my girlfriend and I know that you’re right, but my relationship is the least of my worries right now, in a sense” San said and Wooyoung turned on his embrace just a bit so he could support his head on his hand to properly look at San.
“What do you mean?” Wooyoung asked.
“I know there’s no future for me with her. You’re not getting out of my mind anytime soon” San said and pinched his ribs, trying to light up the mood but none of them were having it. “But people think we’re lasting; I literally heard some saying we’re forever. She’s part of the package of who I am, half of what they see in me is being with her. The other is the star player” San said with a sigh and Wooyoung felt his chest constrict. “And unfortunately, I grew used to that, to have everything that I’ve always wanted; the friends, the parties, the girl” San said bitter and Wooyoung’s hand ran through his stomach until he found San’s own laying on his side and laced their fingers. “It’s just so meaningless, to be honest. We’ll graduate in a couple of years and I’ll never see half of these people again. But they’re here now and they believe in me; as the player and as the boyfriend” San whispered the last few words and Wooyoung let his body fall to mirror San position on the bed, looking at the ceiling too. There was nothing there but the faint light of the moon coming through the curtains.
“That’s why you can’t break up with her” Wooyoung said and even though he felt it, he didn’t sound sad. It was not like it was a surprise, he never counted on it on the first place.
San was silent for what felt like forever and Wooyoung was as well. He was contemplating everything San had said and he wanted to be mad. He wanted to feel played and wronged and everything he had felt once before and be frustrated that the outcome would always be the same for him. But he couldn’t.
San had been honest with him in a way. Wooyoung knew he was out of reach ever since the beginning and he allowed his feelings to grow by his own accord he couldn’t blame San for that. But he couldn’t help to feel disappointed.
The player was scared and that was understandable. Wooyoung too would be if he had things at stake like San has. But he couldn’t relate so that frustrated him. He didn’t want to invalidate San’s feelings just because that was not a place he had experience in. He was never downright an outcast, never had problems with having people around him so he couldn’t put himself in San’s shoes. Wooyoung had always been adored - aside from those few hell months in highschool - and if now he was closed off most of the time that was a conscious choice that he had yet to regret. But San didn’t choose to be alone. And now, having the world at the palm of his hands, of course it would look fantastic. San was powerful in his own way now and just the possibility of losing something he longed for was terrifying for him.
Wooyoung didn’t had the time to shape his thoughts yet so he decided to keep quiet until he could find a way to put into words what he wanted to say.
“I won’t be upset if you just call me a coward” San said and his voice was soft but hard on the edges, almost like he was expecting something worse than that to come out of Wooyoung’s mouth.
“You’re afraid of stepping out of your comfort zone, San. That doesn’t make you a coward” Wooyoung exhaled and turned to look at him again. The outline of his jawline was even sharper now with the way he seemed to be tense. Wooyoung let his fingers run through it and saw as San’s eyes flutter shut, relaxing almost immediately. “I can’t say that I agree with what you’re doing nor can’t I tell you how you should act, because I have no idea myself. But you know what I think?” San made a small sound at the back of his throat, eyes closed and face leaned into the small friction of Wooyoung’s fingertip on his skin. “We’re much too young to understand anything. And we’re going to make mistakes. I have my fair share of them” Wooyoung said and sighed. “And we need it to grow up. You don’t need to be making life choices now, San. This time of your life is supposed to be about trial and error. Don’t take everything so seriously” Wooyoung finished talking but kept his hand caressing San.
Wooyoung had no idea if those were the right words to say but San was confused and in a place that only himself could crawl off of. But he could feel the distress coming out of San and how honest he seemed to be about what was happening with them. Wooyoung was glad in a way. San had failed once again to say what Wooyoung was expecting and this time was for the best. Wooyoung prepared himself for the talk. For the way San would try to sweetly explain to him why they would never be able to be something more because he wouldn’t be able to hold his hand down in the street and how much he wanted him in the secrecy of their room.
But that was not it. It was all about San and his own insecurities about where he belonged in the world. And that time laying beside him, Wooyoung had never seen him look so small. So he did the only thing he could and wrapped himself around San until both of them fell asleep together, which with a million and one thoughts running through their heads.
-
Wooyoung woke up with the smell of pancakes. It had been so long that his apartment smelled like something other than delivered fried chicken that he dragged himself out of the bed to take a look.
San was at home in his kitchen, a few pancakes neatly put in a plate – with a few burned ones thrown to the side – and an apron wrapped around his frame. His naked back presenting itself to Wooyoung. It was way too early for a view like that and Wooyoung still had morning breath, but he couldn’t help himself. He walked up to him and wrapped himself around San, burying his face on his bare back and it was just so big, so soft and so good.
San had wide ass shoulders and Wooyoung wasn’t strong enough to resist the want to nuzzle his face from side to side so he did just that.
“Hey beautiful” San said chuckling. “Did I wake you up?”
Wooyoung shook his head behind him and hoped San had got the message. He was probably still asleep anyway and in the middle of a really good dream.
“Why are naked in my house?” Wooyoung asked making San laugh. Wooyoung, who was still attached to his back, felt the humming through his skull.
“I had to survive a night of you in just your underwear and that slutty as fuck blouse, you don’t get to judge me” San said playful as he turned off the stove and twirled around in Wooyoung’s arm to face him with a small affectionate kiss on the forehead. “Good morning” He whispered and Wooyoung rolled his eyes.
“Morning, asshole” San laughed and ushered him to the table so they could eat. Breakfast as good, San seemed to be in a good mood and none of them brought up the conversation they had the night before. Wooyoung was glad to see that the bad feelings parading around San had been placated for now.
After lazing out on the bed again for a few more hours and only showering because San forcefully drag him out of the bed, Wooyoung went on a treasure hunt to find his video game that he had asked Hongjoong to hide so he wouldn’t procrastinate and disguise it as self care and quality time. When he finally found it, he and San made themselves comfortable on the couch to play whatever games Wooyoung had.
And San was beating his ass in every single one of them.
“I give up” Wooyoung said, with an annoyed huff and San only laughed at his pouting face. “No really, I should’ve expected it. You’re a player!”
“I literally play football. In a field” San said with a smug smile and Wooyoung throw a pillow at him, making him laugh once again and shamelessly pull Wooyoung into his lap.
Wooyoung was still pouting and not looking at him but San was wearing a smile, head thrown at the back rest of the couch and completely at ease. Wooyoung couldn’t help a smile to bloom on his own face either as San kept staring at him. He rolled his eyes and tangled his hands on the player’s hair, making him almost purr in satisfaction.
“You’re just so…” Wooyoung groaned and bumped their foreheads together.
“You’re just so… too” San teased and Wooyoung rolled his eyes before laying his head on his shoulder and letting San embrace him, game forgotten.
“Don’t get too comfortable” San said pinching his sides and Wooyoung smacked him for good measure.
“I can’t. My Cinderella leaves at midnight” He joked but it seem that it served to bring down the mood.
San grabbed a fistful of his hair and tugged softly, just enough to make Wooyoung look at him.
“I’m going to fix this” He said and Wooyoung quickly shook his head, scrambling out of San’s lap.
“Don’t go there, San” Wooyoung said trying not to let the frustration caught up to him. “I’m not expecting anything from you so don’t go around throwing words that you don’t mean”
San seemed a bit lost with the change on Wooyoung’s behavior and tried to reach out for him but the smaller ignored his touch, not moving from his spot on the sofa. San kneeled in front of him and covered his knees with his hands.
“I meant it, Wooyoung. I’ll find a way around this” San said again, softer this time as if afraid of Wooyoung reacting badly again.
“No, you won’t. And that’s okay. I know how this ends, San, I’ve been there before” Wooyoung said bitter and San looked at him confused. Wooyoung closed his eyes and ran his hands through his face before starting to explain himself. “I met this guy in high school and we were friends. He was handsome, cool, everyone wanted to be friends with him. And then suddenly we were more. And I felt so special. Because he wanted me, can you imagine? Out of everyone, he just wanted me. And he said so many things, made so many promises. And I was certain he was the one, you know?” Wooyoung said with a humorless laugh. “But he kept telling me that no one should know about us yet, because he wasn’t ready. And I knew where he was coming from, I hadn’t told anyone myself too. So I let it happen, let us be this fun, exciting secret. But he would just never be ready, so he decided to throw me under the bus” Wooyoung said without looking at San. “He told everyone how that pathetic little twink Wooyoung was obsessed with him; was even stalking him, in and out of school, pretending that they were together. And I was the butt of the joke for months because he was just playing me, you know? He always had a beautiful girlfriend to come back to when he left me his promises”
San wasn’t touching him anymore. He sat beside him in complete silence for a few seconds. Wooyoung couldn’t feel bad. He didn’t want to guilty trip San into anything, but just as San felt safe to confide in him last night, Wooyoung felt that he should take that weigh off of his shoulders as well.
“I’m not him” San said and sounded a bit distraught.
Wooyoung scorned before looking at him with a bittersweet smile. “I know that” He said and San was looking so lost that he couldn’t help but to reach out to him. Wooyoung sat on his lap again and held San’s head on his hands, making the player look at him. “And that’s what makes it worse. I know it’s as real for you as it is for me” Wooyoung said. “But you don’t get to promise me things, San. Even more so when those are things you know you can’t accomplish”
San was about to retort but Wooyoung shushed him with a finger on his lip.
“Think things through and do what you have to. But don’t give me hope about something that may not come. It’s not a place I want to go back to”
Wooyoung saw as too many emotions ran through San’s eyes at the same time. It was like he unlearned everything about the world to slowly start to put it back again. Wooyoung wasn’t feeling guilty, San needed to know where he stands at. It was not like Wooyoung was expecting him to ditch his perfect life so they could live happily ever after. It was in no way a realistic thought, given their circumstances. San was confused and confused people say things they don’t mean. But Wooyoung likes him too much to hear his lies and not be affected by them.
They spent the rest of the afternoon like that, wrapped in each other but minds far away. That’s not how Wooyoung wanted the day to go but at least all the cards were lay down on the table, there was nothing to hide anymore. Their insecurities were there exposed to the barbed wire of their feelings and they needed to move on from that.
Wooyoung thought San would leave with just how quiet he went after their conversation. But if he wasn’t expressing much with his words, his body was talking for him. He hadn’t detached himself from Wooyoung at any possible minute, always having a point of contact in between them. So when the time came for the to hit the bed, it wasn’t a surprise for Wooyoung when San draped half of his body on top of his, holding himself on one elbow to look down at him.
His expression was as serious as it had been all evening, but his eyes were soft. They were asking for something and Wooyoung could easily read the question there. So he answers it by closing his eyes when San’s crept closer, a soft hand on his cheek grounding Wooyoung to the moment they had been expecting so much.
When San’s lips finally touched his, after what felt like a lifetime, there was no fireworks, no revelations. No sirens singing or explosions on his senses. There was just San and the pressure of him weighing Wooyoung down on the bed as their lips made home on each other.
San kissed Wooyoung like he looked at him; softly, with a hint of shyness at the beginning, but certain and sensually deep when they finally understood that there was no turning back now.
His lips were soft, tongue warm as it dragged around Wooyoung’s, making his bed arc out of the bed at the feeling. He had never been kissed like that. Like that was the most beautiful moment of their lives; like he was worth every second of the contact in between them and the many more to come. Wooyoung gave a soft whine when San pulled on his hair at the same time he bit on his bottom lip before dragging him tongue on it. Wooyoung’s eyes rolled to the back of his head but San decided it was the right place to stop. Wooyoung was glad.
They fell asleep in between gentle caresses and soft kisses.
-
When Wooyoung woke up on Monday morning, his bed was empty and the sheets cold. Wooyoung let out a long exhale before spending the next ten minutes blindly looking at the ceiling.
He got out of the bed and was ready to start his day after twenty minutes. Before going out, he stopped by the kitchen to grab something to eat. He couldn’t help the leap his heart gave when he looked at the note stuck on the fridge.
bye, beautiful J
ps: can I call you prince charming?
Wooyoung shook his head with a smile and left his room knowing that, whatever happens, San would still be there, one way or another.
Notes:
the reason this chapter became so long it's because i wanted all of us to experience their weekend just like they did, together and all at once. if i divided in two chapter i think it would have lost a little bit of it's meaning so please, bear it with.
Chapter 12: 12
Notes:
it's 7k long i don't know if im sorry or delighted.
i've add NEW TAGS, please pay attention to them. But, if you're not comfortable with sexual scenes, stop reading after San arrives at the library! I won't be changing the rate of this story as for now, but things will get spicier in the next chapters, fyi
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Leaving Wooyoung’s was difficult.
It had only been two days but San had already grown used to wake up with the weight of Wooyoung in his arms. It was ridiculously easy to hold him close and enjoy the up and down of his chest as they enjoyed the last stages of slumber together.
It went by way too fast but San was glad for the moments they had spent together. Just like Seonghwa wished for, it served to help San make a decision.
San knew now just how incredibly reckless he had been while dealing with the relationship he had created with Wooyoung. He had no idea of the barely healed wound he had been poking at by just being with him. San would never intentionally hurt Wooyoung the way he had been doing all along without knowing.
But he knew now and he would not keep on putting Wooyoung in the same position he once was. It pained him to see the panicked look on the smaller boy’s face while recalling what he had been put through by someone in a position similar to the one San had in his life now.
And it overwhelmed him just how much Wooyoung allowed it to happen. San hated himself a bit for forcing his hand at him, for always being so close when just being the way they were was a reminder of a hurtful past for Wooyoung.
But San wanted to erase that. He wanted Wooyoung to see just how much he mattered to the player. It was ebbed on San’s mind, like a mantra, that Wooyoung needed to be always happy, smiling and appreciated. And he would do just that.
But it was not going to be easy, that was for sure. San had not grown out of his own insecurities over night. But just the reminder of the way Wooyoung felt underneath him, of how his soft, plump lips molded perfectly on his made San want to get everything out of the way as fast as he could just so he could run back to his arms and never leave.
And that was terrifying. They had talked and talked but feelings were never put on the table. He had no idea where Wooyoung stands about him and what he wants from San. Of course he had an idea, Wooyoung was putting himself through another traumatic situation just to be with him, but even so, he had been explicit when he said he wasn’t expecting anything from San. And that was a bit unnerving.
San knew his own feelings. He knew that he would keep on adoring that boy for a really long time to come, and felt pathetic, really. He had never thought it was actually true that people felt like that. That need to be close and to want someone so much that it was the only thing on your mind. But Wooyoung did that to him, he’s there at the back of San’s every thoughts, reminding him of just how beautiful he is.
So San decided to give them just a little bit of space. They had to digest everything they learned about one another throughout the weekend and heal from that.
San had a lazy Monday.
He arrived at college just on time to catch Seonghwa on the gates and the taller dragged him to the empty bleachers to milk him out of information.
“So…” Seonghwa started, eyebrows raised.
“I don’t know what you want me to say” San said, just to be a little shit.
“How was playing house with him?” Seonghwa asked, rolling his eyes.
“It was good” San said and couldn’t help a smile. “It was eye opening, definitely”
“And that means…?” Seonghwa poked.
“It means that I want to be with him” San said and took a deep breath. “And only him”
Seonghwa’s smile was smug and San rolled his eyes at him.
“But you know I can’t just drop everything to hold hands with him at the park, right?”
“First you need to get rid of this super hero complex that you have. You’re not gonna solve the world’s problems and not everyone is gonna like you, and that’s okay San. Deal with it, solve your shit then go get your boy” Seonghwa said patting him in the back.
“It’s a weird coincidence, isn’t it?” San said, leaning back on his hands. “Me and Wooyoung, Jongho and Yeosang and you and Hongjoong” He could see Seonghwa becoming a bit pale by his side and San couldn’t help but give a wholeheartedly laugh. “You’re not as sly as you think you are, buddy”
-
San purposefully avoided his problems for the last few days but he knew that if he wanted things to run the way he planned, he needs to start dealing with them.
And the first thing on his list was Arin.
But San hadn’t seen her the whole day. He answered the few texts she had left him, wishing a speedy recovery – Seonghwa told her he had felt a stomachache in the middle of the party and spent the weekend at the older’s apartment so he could keep an eye on him – and asked to meet her so they could talk. She did not reply until later at night when he was leaving Wagging Tails. She had spent the weekend with her family so they agreed to meet on Tuesday after classes.
San arrived home and after contemplating for way too long, he decided to text Wooyoung.
You:
Hi, beautiful.
It took a little longer than five minutes for a reply to arrive.
Mr. robot:
Hey, you. Arrived home okay?
San could not help the blooming smile on his face. He also felt compelled to change Wooyoung’s contact number. With the onslaught of feelings Wooyoung had managed to carve down on him, a robot was not on the list of things San wanted to call him anymore – and it was a damn long list. So he went on and changed to the first thing on his mind: prince charming. It was cringy and cheesy but San’s heart felt so full that he decided to ignore the embarrassment he would be putting himself through if someone ever saw that.
You:
I did.
Didn’t really wanted to leave tho.
The reply came just a few seconds later this time.
Prince Charming:
I feel you.
But I’m glad you did, anyways.
Had an important class today and I just know I wouldn’t be able to leave the bed if I had woken up beside you.
San wanted to strangle him for making him giggle like a high schooler at 9pm on a Monday.
You:
You can’t say shit like that, Jung Wooyoung.
Prince Charming:
Stop stealing my lines asshole.
You:
Deal.
I’ll rather steal your heart.
Prince Charming:
Moron
You already did.
San was stuck looking at his screen for a few minutes. It was a confession, right? Like a down to earth, right in your face, kind of confession.
Prince Charming:
Too fast?
Sorry
You:
WHAT? NO!
I mean
I wasn’t expecting it
I really don’t know what I was expecting
But
I don’t know
Prince Charming:
You’re just so cute, Choi San
San wanted to melt right there on his bed. He wanted to giggle, kick his sheets and sigh out loud because he was just so fucking much in love with Jung Wooyoung.
You:
And you’re a menace.
I was so afraid we’ve done the wrong thing, you know?
Prince Charming:
Yeah, me too.
But after you left I just couldn’t shake off of me the need to have you back so fuck it.
Nothing feels wrong with you.
Yep. San is sure he’s going to need a heart transplant or something by the end of the night.
You:
Is this part of a plot to keep me at the palm of your hand or something?
Where the whole assholeness went?
Prince Charming:
I was never an asshole to you, Choi San!
You:
Oh?
And how do you call that whole passive aggressiveness shit you had going on?
Prince Charming:
Sexual tension.
Heart. Transplant.
You:
You’re testing me
And I’m failing so bad
Prince Charming:
You’re a master of self control, babe
Don’t worry
Come on! San was not ready for a babe, not at all!
You:
You have no idea just how many times that self control disappeared, to be honest.
Prince Charming:
Wish I could’ve seen that.
Ok, that was uncharted territory. But fuck it, San was more than ready to run through that.
You:
We can fix that right now if you want.
Prince Charming:
Don’t send me nudes, Choi San
You:
Wasn’t planning on it.
But we could facetime
If you want
Prince Charming:
Tempting, but I’ll pass
First time I’ll hear you moaning my name it’s gonna be with you right on top of me pinning me to by bed like I’ve been dreaming of.
I won’t have it any other way.
San came so hard after they said their goodbyes that he blacked out.
-
Tuesday afternoon couldn’t have come faster.
San had spent the whole day barely paying attention to his surroundings, his mind drifting between thinking about Wooyoung and just how much San wanted to ruin him and how to deal with Arin.
The first one was easy. San had thought about at least a few dozen ways of how he would reduce Wooyoung to a whining mess, how he would be more than glad to fuck that little attitude out of him. He was anticipating it so much he was afraid of not being able to handle it like he should. But he knew that this should be at the back of his mind now, he had more pressing matters to attend to.
As he walked to the usual spot he and Arin used to meet up at the park after classes, San’s mind was blank. He had no idea what to do, what to say or how to say it. He knew Arin deserved the truth but he also did not want to hurt her. To let one know that you’ve replaced them in your heart must not be something easy, San thought. He didn’t want to be responsible for anyone’s suffering but it seemed like at least one person would not come out unscathed of the whole mess he created for them.
Arin was already there when he arrived. She was looking as beautiful as ever, her long, straight black hair falling on her back and clothes as pristine as they’ve ever been. San felt like a whole new person that moment when he realized his heart had never beat faster when he was with her.
She was looking at something on her phone when San sat beside her but turned it off and looked at him with a smile.
“Are you feeling better?” She said, giving him an overall look.
“Yes. I actually wanted to talk to you about last weekend” San started. He would not feed her more lies, he couldn’t. But there was something in her eyes, in the way she was sitting and staring at him with such intensity that made San brave. He knew she was aware something was happening and there would never be another moment to end things before it got more hurtful.
“What about?” She asked, but her tone was not curious. San wanted to laugh. Sitting in front of him was his teasing best friend, waiting for him to come clean with her about his fuck ups.
“I wasn’t at Seonghwa’s” He said and took a deep breath, looking at the greenery scenery in front of him.
“Where were you then?” She pressed, turning to look ahead just like he did. “At Wooyoung’s?”
San wasn’t really sure how to name the feeling running through his veins right now. If you asked him, the first thing on his mind would be dread. But it also felt very much like relief.
“Yes. I went home with him after the party and left at Monday morning” He said, starting his truth with the most honest and straightforward answer he could give.
“Is there a reason for it?” She asked, tone calm and collected like she had ever been. It was comforting in a way.
And yes, there were a few reasons. But San had no idea how to put them into words. How could he tell his – current – girlfriend that he went home with the guy he liked and stayed because he thought it would be good to enjoy the last conscious moments they would have together but left determined to spend probably the rest of his life with him? He couldn’t tell her that.
“Is it the same reason why you kissed him a few weeks back?” She asked and San was frozen. He couldn’t deny it, it was obvious she knew. Arin was not the type of girl to throw a bait like that. But how?
“Not exactly the same reason” San said, taking a deep breath. “It’s more conscious now, I think. When I kissed him that first time it was more like somewhere my brain had already processed what I was refusing to admit to myself”
“That you like him?” She questioned and San let out the breath he was holding.
“That I like him” He whispered, halfway across a bridge made of shame and certainty.
They were quiet for a few minutes. A few scenarios had played out on San’s mind: Arin storming out when he told her truth or start crying and accuse him of cheating and lying to her. He also imagined her slapping him and spewing out hurtful towards him and Wooyoung. But he did not expecting her deep breath and the way she reclined on the park bench, thoughtful face on.
“When we first started dating, I imagined a whole lot of things for us” Arin said and San felt like a drop kick would hurt less. “Growing up together, become adults and face the world while having each other’s backs. And for a while it was perfect, you know? It was like living a fantasy. But that faded away really quickly” She continued and San could notice the hint of sadness in her voice. “With time I realized that it was really comfortable being with you. You’re a really low maintenance boyfriend, Choi San. But what I thought it was okay at first started to bug me out later on. I was supposed to want to be with you. You were supposed to make time to spend with me. But that wasn’t happening and we were okay with; have been for a least a whole year now. And even though it’s awesome when were together, it was like having quality time with my best friend” She admitted and San could not look at her. It was obvious she was holding back tears and San was doing just as much. “And I realized that I love you, San. I really do. And I want to grow up and face the world with you, but I don’t want to do it while holding your hand” She finished and San looked at her for the first time in a while. “I can’t say that I’m not disappointed, I am. I’ve had the opportunity to, but I’ve never cheated on you. But I can’t shame you for finding happiness, San. That’s all I want for the both of us” She said while a stray tear rolled down her face and a sad smile bloomed on her lips.
“I’m sorry for the way it all happened. The last thing I wanted was to hurt you” San said and reached for her hands, that held his with a familiar grip.
“I wish you could’ve been more honest with me, but I’m not mad. I had time to think about it, you know. When Mimi first told me she had seen you kiss him, I was shocked. I refused to make something of it at first, but I couldn’t help but see that you looked… different. And it was a good different. You didn’t look so worn out anymore. There was this glowing aura around you. And then putting two and two together wasn’t difficult. I wish you could’ve told me sooner, though” She said.
“I wasn’t sure of anything myself” San confessed. “I felt things for him that I had no recollection of ever feeling for you, and that made me so confused” San said. “The time you friend saw us, it was the first time I kissed him. And it was a slip, I never meant to do it. And I don’t know, maybe if that didn’t happen things would've turned out different. But I couldn’t shake him off of me after that. And I was so scared” San said, voice shaking. “Because I had you and we were supposed to be forever. I thought we were meant to be. And then suddenly I was dying to be made for someone else” He admitted. Arin was caressing his hand with the same sad smile on her face. “He was more careful than I was regarding you, I hope you know that. And I’m not trying to belittle what I did, I did you wrong and I’m aware of it. But he’s a good guy, don’t blame him”
“I wasn’t blaming anyone” She reassured him. “I really wanted to slap you after you turned off you phone on the weekend because I saw you getting in the car with him and then Seonghwa gave me some bullshit” She sighed. “But I knew we needed to have this, to come clean and understand each other. You’re my friend, San. I’m sad because you lied to me, but it’ll pass”
-
San arrived home feeling renewed.
Arin had been the biggest person in that relationship, as always. San knew he didn’t deserve it, but even more so than forgiveness, she gave him acceptance. And knowing the amount of amazing people around him that would always have his back made San smile. He was still scared of the future, yes. But being brave was about doing something regardless of your fear. And he would be the bravest one in the world to have Wooyoung by his side.
San and Arin agreed to keep things low. Arin confided to him that she also had was beginning to develop feelings for someone else but, with things being so recent, they chose not to get into details about their respective love lives. Just a few hours ago they were a couple, all things considered. They also decided that it would be best to make things public once and for all. Both were aware that their relationship was theirs just as much as people thought it was their own business. So before going home, they took a selfie together and Arin update her Instagram profile.
arina:
This crackhead will always be my best friend; but from now on just a best friend. People tend to say breakups are hard, but San and I couldn’t be happier to part ways the way we did. I’ll always have your back, Captain. Thanks for all the good moments and for the ones still to come. Let the world know that we’ll be forever 💞
After liking her post, San decided to ignore the countless sad faces comments and left one of his own.
capsan:
thanks for allowing me to be a better person. promise I won’t let you down.
+
Wooyoung spent the whole day debating if he should text San or not but decided against it because he knew the player would have a stressful day.
San had confided to him that he would have a talk with Arin and even though he didn’t want to get his hopes up, Wooyoung was restless.
He had forbidden San to promise him anything, he was sure he wouldn’t live through the heartbreak if he planned something and it went wrong in the end. So he just waited.
The hours seemed to pass by as slow as they could, the clock never turning every time Wooyoung looked at it. He spent most of his classes with his mind far away and if his friends noticed something, they decided to not comment on it.
Yeosang and Hongjoong had been quieter than Wooyoung expected. They didn’t demand any answers from how the weekend went as they would do in a normal way and Wooyoung wasn’t surprised. He could see in their faces that neither of them were okay with the way he was handling things.
He couldn’t blame them, though. Yeosang and Hongjoong knew firsthand the self destructive mess Wooyoung could become when he dared to fall in love with the wrong person, they were right with being worried. But Wooyoung trusted San and he wanted them to trust him too. So he shared some of what he thought it was safe and even though it didn’t seem to settle their hearts, his friends seemed more receptive of San’s impeding presence.
So when Wooyoung shared San’s plans for the afternoon and how anxious he was about it, they decided to get his mind off of it by spending the entire day together.
Wooyoung was a creative person and even if he decided to focus that on something that was miles away of being artistic, he enjoyed things like that once in a while. So when the three of them arrived at Hongjoong's atelier and his friend made sure that he was free to express himself in any way he wanted, Wooyoung spent hours panting, decorating and pouring his heart out into canvas, pieces of clothing and drawings he never thought he would enjoy enough to do.
His wrists were about to kill him at the end of the day but he was happy. It had been a long time since the three of them had spent a day like this, just them and no worries in the world. Wooyoung completely forgot for a while just how chaotic the world outside could be.
He was laying on the floor, with different shades of paint intertwined at the front of the apron Hongjoong lent him and a few more on his hair, but he didn’t care about it. Yeosang was laying by his side and Hongjoong with his head on his lap and Wooyoung didn’t have a single thought running through his mind, just the peaceful existence of a cherished moment with his best friends.
But Hongjoong shattered that moment when he jumped on his place while scrolling through his phone. Wooyoung raised his head to look at him and Hongjoong had something akin to a smile and his eyes were bulging out, while looking from him to Yeosang.
“What?” Yeosang asked and took the phone out of Hongjoong’s hand. Wooyoung watched as his friend saw whatever it was that Hongjoong had also seen and heaved a sigh, trying to look annoyed even if a smile was shy on his lips.
“You better see for yourself” Yeosang said, thrusting the cell phone on Wooyoung’s direction.
With a frown, Wooyoung took the device and skimmed through the screen until his eyes focused on the picture in front of his face; San and Arin doing silly faces at the camera with a caption underneath it, from Arin’s instagram post. His heart started to beat so fast Wooyoung almost let the phone drop, but managed to focus back to read it before he could have a stroke.
After his eyes speed through the letters, he needed to read the sentences a second time to make something of it. And when his brain finally processed, he sat on the floor with his friends eyes on him.
“He really did it?” He asked to no one in particular.
“Looks like it” Hongjoong answered him.
“He really wants to be with me, doesn’t he?” Wooyoung asked again, feeling tears well up his eyes.
“He would be a fool if he didn’t” Yeosang said with that particular protective tone of his but it made Wooyoung smile.
San didn’t promise, but he had just given Wooyoung a small flame of hope anyways.
-
Wooyoung left Hongjoong's studio around 9pm. He didn’t dare to pick up his phone while he was still there, not wanting to make a fool of himself if San happens to text him in front of his friends.
After a much needed shower to get rid of the rainbow he managed to splat on himself, Wooyoung ate some late night snacks and went to bed before finally taking his phone out of airplane mode and waiting for his notifications to arrive. He instinctively went to open his message thread with San and was welcomed with one single message.
choi ⛰️ ❤️
looking forward for our class tomorrow, beautiful.
Wooyoung could feel the butterflies and they were so many.
He never went to sleep dreading – and anticipating – a day as much as he was now.
+
San woke up with a skip on his step.
He was happy, excited, probably overconfident, but the sky was the limit for him today.
I mean, not exactly.
San and Arin had agreed to wait for the things to die down before going public with someone else. Probably wait a few months until the people started to forget about them together so introducing another part would not stir any weirdness. So he would not full out make out with Wooyoung in a bench like he wanted to, but he wouldn’t hold himself back either.
But the questions were unavoidable. At least twenty people came up to him to lament about the downfall of his relationship and cry for him just how amazing they were together, to rethink their decision and get back. San calmly told them off, saying there was no coming back and that they were happy the way they were. He was exhausted at the end of the day. He had repeated that speech in between – and during – every single class and was sure Arin had it just as hard as he had when they crossed paths at lunch and she seemed disheartened. He gave her shoulder a squeeze, ignoring the coos and screams around before going to the bleachers with his friends to have a peaceful lunch break.
“I wasn’t sure you had it in you, my friend” Yunho teased him, patting his back. San just rolled his eyes.
“The sex must’ve been mind blowing” Jongho said, as if a passing thought had crossed his mind and San elbowed him in the ribs.
“I wouldn’t know” San grumbled and saw as two pairs of his looked at him while gasping. Seonghwa only chuckled.
“You didn’t…?” Jongho asked, incredulous.
“Of course I didn’t” San said, feeling a little warm in the face.
“He blue balled you for an entire weekend?” Yunho asked in disbelief.
“It’s been longer than that” San mumbled.
“Wooyoung was waiting for him to grow a pair and do what’s right” Seonghwa teased and San scoffed.
“He just did” Jongho said. “Go get your man, bro”
“I have time” San said with a smile.
“Well then, shame on you. I wouldn’t spend another minute looking at your ugly ass faces if I could” Yunho said just to be a brat.
“I’m pretty sure Mingi is just a phone call away” Seongwa teased and received a flying fry on his face as a response.
San spent the rest of the day listening to their ramblings, trying to distract himself from his own thoughts.
-
5pm rolled around faster than San had anticipated it. He tried really hard to calm his nerves, but his stomach was in tight knot ever since he left the football field; the fact that Wooyoung had not answered him and had been MIA the whole day did not help.
He knew Wooyoung was aware of his breakup; if not for every single person around whispering about in the corridors, he would know from his friends. Yeosang and Hongjoong had been quick to like the post – and San’s comment – on Instagram.
But he hadn’t caught a whiff of Wooyoung. He left him on read and San’s mind had been projecting countless scenarios throughout the day. None of them were absolutely good.
But everything fell into place rather quickly when he blasted through the library walls and Wooyoung was sitting there, as pretty as ever, waiting for him.
The tight knot on San’s stomach only increased in intensity when they locked their eyes and Wooyoung smirked at him.
Wooyoung shifted in his seat when San plumped on the chair beside him, not on his usual spot at the other side of the table and the player smiled.
“Hi, beautiful” He said and Wooyoung rolled his eyes, a light blush adorning his cheeks.
“Hi, San” He mumbled and San kept staring at him with a lopsided smile. “What?”
“I don’t deserve a nickname?” San pouted.
“You’re the cheesy one in this relationship”
Relationship. That was a big, beautiful word.
“I know my time will come, just you wait” San grumbled and throw his books on the table.
Wooyoung had spread sheets and stuff already set up so he decided he would indulge his tutor in studying a little bit, even if he knew nothing would stick on his mind.
Wooyoung made him pay attention, elbowing on the ribs every time San as much as looked at him cheekily. Thirty minutes into the class, Wooyoung stopped talking and looked at San, who was shamelessly trying to play footsies with him underneath the table.
“San” Wooyoung said, serious.
“What?” San looked at him with big, innocent eyes.
“Would you please stop rubbing me with your feet?” Wooyoung asked, voice low.
“Would you rather I use my hand?” San saw as Wooyoung stuttered, red in the face before turning his attention back to the books.
San couldn’t help the snort that left him at Wooyoung’s shocked face. If there was something San was sure now, was that he had nothing holding him back. So he would enjoy and indulge them as much as he could. He just needed Wooyoung explicit consent for it.
San never pegged himself for someone way too adventurous. Sex life included. He had his likes and dislikes and was ever able to explore that with his – few – sexual partners. Going at it in public was never something he thought about. But Wooyoung’s flushed face seemed rather delicious right now for him to lose such an opportunity.
San took a look around, cheekily scanning the room before letting a hand run smoothly through Wooyoung’s silky, black locks. His tutor closed his eyes immediately at the feeling and relaxed on his seat on the spot. San smiled and let his hand waver a little lower, gripping his nape strong enough for his blunt nails to dig on the skin on the sides just shy of leaving a mark. He saw as Wooyoung sucked in a breath and goose bumps erupted on his skin. The player brought his hand up again, lacing his fingers on Wooyoung’s hair and tugging at it, making the smaller boy let out a whine.
“S-san” Wooyoung whispered, as if on a trance. “People could see” He said, but remained with his eyes closed.
San smirked and dropped his hand, making Wooyoung look at him with a pout.
“I’ll keep it hidden, then” The player said and before Wooyoung could respond, the hand that was previously on the tutor’s hair found home on his thigh under the table.
Wooyoung’s eyes were as round as saucers and before he could splutter anything, San shushed him.
“We still have twenty minutes left of class, right?” San said smug, turning his body to face the screen in front of him again. Wooyoung gave him a nasty look before speaking again.
San was nodding his head along with the sound of Wooyoung’s voice, but it didn’t take more than another five minutes for his tutor to lose his train of thoughts when San started to move his once still hand, teasingly running his fingers up and down Wooyoung’s clothed skin.
The smaller boy took a deep breath before continuing, but otherwise allowing San to keep on touching him.
San was humming along every time Wooyoung said something that was supposed to be important, but his tutor’s voice was wavering now, coming out in breathy whispers every time San squeezed a little too strong at his inner thigh, making Wooyoung squirm on his seat.
San was loving the reactions he was getting out of Wooyoung. He could see how the boy was fighting the urge to close his eyes or to let out any sounds that were not his small voice explaining the slides to him. But he saw every shudder and deep breaths the boy took every few seconds now.
The player had no idea what was binding Wooyoung together, but it surely snapped when San teasingly caressed his crotch, noticing the evident bulge in there and Wooyoung let his head drop, sucking a breath at the painful tease.
“Oh?” San teased and Wooyoung whined low in his throat, making San’s own interest pick up more.
San cupped Wooyoung’s crotch with his hand, feeling how hard and warm he was, even through the rough material of his jeans. The player looked around once again before leaning in closer, just enough to reach Wooyoung’s ear.
“I’ve barely done anything and you’re already so gone for me, beautiful. What do I do with you, hm?” San said in a condescending tone, almost as if speaking with a child and Wooyoung visibly trembled, but did not graced San with an answer.
The study material was forgotten now, none of them in the right headspace to focus on it. San’s eyes were clouded with desire as he started to caresses Wooyoung through his pants, making the smaller boy buck into his hand as he breathed hard, a hand coming to grip the edge of the table that was hiding them from the view.
“Oh, beautiful. You’re quite sensitive, aren’t you?” San teased again, this time toying with the button of Wooyoung’s pant, tired of feeling the hardness of him with the material separating them. He was doing it slow enough for Wooyoung to stop him if he so wished, but the other boy seemed eager for the touch, allowing San to pull down his zipper and open the front of his jeans.
San took a quick look to the state Wooyoung was underneath the table and felt his mouth water. The outline of his cock was perfect designed on his black briefs, a little wet spot on the front making San want to swallow him whole. San’s index finger probed at it, feeling the stick substance seeping through the dark material. He brought the wet finger to his lips and as Wooyoung followed his movements with hungry eyes, San tasted him, making a delectable sound in the process. Wooyoung let out a low groan, sounding almost desperate, before pushing a hand trough his hair, trying to even his breathing pattern.
But San didn’t allow him the chance, letting his hand travel back to it’s original position at Wooyoung’s crotch, now shamelessly stroking him through his underwear. Wooyoung sucked in another breath and San noticed how much of effort it was for him to sit straight, his body wanting to give himself completely to the feeling of being touched.
San’s frame was bigger than Wooyoung’s, even if they weren’t that much apart in height, so he took advantage of that to shift as close as he could to the younger boy, allowing his body to hide Wooyoung’s as much as possible from the view, even if no one else was around to see them.
“You can let go, beautiful, I’ve got you” San whispered on Wooyoung’s ear and the boy trembled on his hold.
The slide of San’s hand was rough, even if Wooyoung was getting wetter by the seconds. San was desperate to feel him, to touch him without any barriers. But he just couldn’t straight out nude Wooyoung in public without the boy being a 100% on board with it.
“Can I put it out? Hm?” San whispered in his ear again and Wooyoung cried out, letting his body rest on San’s side, head on his shoulder. “Let me feel you, baby”
Wooyoung gave a barely perceptible nod but it was enough for San to whisky him out of his soaked underwear and finally wrap his fingers around him. San looked at the mess Wooyoung was, cockhead shining with pre cum dribbling of his tip. San picked a big glob that was escaping it to coat as most as he could of Wooyoung’s length with it.
“That’s it” San encouraged and Wooyoung leaked just a bit more. The player started to think his tutor had a weak spot for his voice.
Wooyoung’s own hand was clutching San now. One fisted on his shirt and the other wrapped around the arm that was touching him, almost as if to make sure it would stay there.
And of course it would. The feeling of Wooyoung on him was marvelous, San was on cloud nine. His tutor was heavy and hot on his hand, his length so thick that San massaged it with gusto. He was slow and deliberate on his movements, dragging up maddening slow just to yank down with a hard tug, making Wooyoung cry out again, louder this time as he kept on teasing him.
“Careful, baby. You don’t want anyone hearing you, right?”
Wooyoung shook his head, but his hips started to rock on his seat, San’s hand easily gliding along now with just how much Wooyoung was enjoying it, leaking so much that a wet, slicky sound could be heard in the silence of the room.
“Please…”Wooyoung whispered, his skin flushed and San could see the shy shadow of his erect nipples through his shirt. Oh god, San wanted to ruin him.
“I’ve got you, baby” San said and speed up his movements, wet sounds even more prominent now, but let it be damned.
Wooyoung was a quivering mess in his arms, head thrown back on San’s shoulders, a hint of drool on his lips as he started to fuck into San’s fists with abandon. The player made it tight for him, speeding up when Wooyoung stopped the movements himself and torturing him just a bit by playing with his slit, slowly dragging his fingertip through it, making Wooyoung whine.
Wooyoung had a shy layer of sweat on his skin now, and San decided to put him out of his misery when he heard a faint sound somewhere in the distance, Wooyoung not being lucid enough to pay attention to it. San stroked him with earnest and that caused Wooyoung to let out the first loud moan since they started. San chuckled but the boy hid his face on his shoulders, almost as if he was embarrassed.
“Don’t hide from me, beautiful” San whispered and used his free hand to tug on Wooyoung’s hair, making him lift his face that was buried into him. “You said you had planned on how to have me, but I never said anything about how to have you. I want you moaning my name at every chance we’ve got” San said and gave Wooyoung’s earlobe a teasing suck. The boy trashed a bit on his arm, but relented pretty fast.
“S-san, please…” He begged and San felt that going straight into his own aching dick. “Let me…”
Wooyoung said but it was barely audible. San smiled at how lost he seemed.
“You can baby, you can do whatever you want. Always” San promised in a whisper and gave two more harsh, desperate tugs on Wooyoung’s flushed cock before his tutor came undone beside him, spilling into his clothes and San’s hand, crying out in ecstasy before biting into the first part of San he could find to stop his desperate cries to echo through the library.
San kept on stroking him into oversensitivity and only let go when Wooyoung had nothing else to spill.
The tutor was giving short, staccato breaths while coming down from his high and San was holding his trembling body until Wooyoung was stable enough to sit straight again.
“You good?” San asked, hand still covered in Wooyoung’s cum and resting innocently on his ruined pants.
“Yeah” Wooyoung said, just a little bit out of it still.
While the tutor was coming back to himself, San picked a few wet wipes from his bag and started to clean them both as much as he could. There wasn’t much he could do about the wet spots on Wooyoung’s pants, though. San slowly tucked Wooyoung back into his jeans, making the smaller hiss just a bit with how sensitive he was but gave him a shy kiss on his neck to make up for it. Wooyoung nuzzled into him, hiding his face into San’s neck and the player let out a fond laugh.
“Don’t get all shy on me now, c’mon” San teased after putting the used tissues away inside a dirty sock and squeezed Wooyoung hips softly.
“I hate you, Choi San” Wooyoung whined and San could hear the mortification on his voice.
“Do you?” San said in a alarmed voice, teasing him. “It didn’t look like it just now when you were moani…” Wooyoung stopped him with a bite on his neck that made San yelp and laugh. “There’s absolutely no reason to be shy, beautiful” San said and picked Wooyoung’s hand to direct it at his own aching crotch. “See?”
Wooyoung whined low in his throat and gave San a light squeeze, making the player laugh.
“No, no, no. I’ll wait for my turn just like you wanted” San said before putting Wooyoung’s hand away who just huffed in protest.
San managed to detach the shy student out of him long enough for them to pack their belongings and head out of the library, Wooyoung looking around every once in a while, making San laugh.
“No one saw us, baby” San said and pulled Wooyoung into a side hug. “But if they did, I’m pretty sure none of them would complain. You make quite a view” San whispered teasingly before running away from him. Wooyoung rolled his eyes fondly before running after the player, their laughs echoing through the almost empty campus.
Notes:
just so you know, this story it's coming to an end soon. i think we'll have 3 or 4 more chapters until the finale.
for those who skipped the library scene, here's a little resume:
san gives wooyoung a handjob, that's it.
Chapter 13: 13
Notes:
introducing the key to a healthy relationship: communication
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
San insisted on walking Wooyoung home, taking his backpack away from him to carry himself and Wooyoung rolled his eyes. Wooyoung was completely caught up into San and everything related to him; the way he talks, the way he walks, the way he laughs, the feeling of him on his skin.
Wooyoung was feeling like a love bug had bitten him countless times. San was doing absolutely nothing, just walking beside him, brushing their pinkys together every now and again but Wooyoung’s heart was still running wildly through his chest.
When they finally arrived at Wooyoung’s room and San made sure to walk him to his door, Wooyoung was reluctant on letting him go.
“Thanks for walking me” Wooyoung said, reclining on the closed door as San smiled at him.
“It was my pleasure” The player said, running his hand through Wooyoung’s hair, pushing it back before depositing a kiss on Wooyoung’s forehead.
Wooyoung sneaked his arms around San’s waist, softly flushing their bodies together. He could ask him to stay, nothing to weight his conscience now. But he wasn’t sure where they were standing.
“Are you sure we can be doing this?” Wooyoung said, sounding worried. “You literally broke up with Arin just yesterday”
San let out a heavy breath before disentangling his fingers from Wooyoung’s hair.
“We’d agreed to keep things low for a while. We’ll give it a few months before appearing with someone new, so people would have time to mourn or whatever the hell they think they’re doing” San said rolling his eyes.
Wooyoung nodded his head because that was understandable. None of them could assume another relationship like that, the rumors would spread like wildfire. Who cheated on who, how long the homewrecker was around… the possibilities were endless. But San seemed troubled by something.
“I do think it’s the best we can do, even more so after seeing how people behaved today. But I can’t ask you to be okay with it, I know that” San said, avoiding Wooyoung’s eyes.
“What do you mean?” Wooyoung asked, frowning a bit.
“I can’t put you through this. Again” San sighed and ruffled his own hair. “We’d have to keep doing this, hidden for everyone, until we deem safe enough to appear with somebody else. I can’t ask you to be my secret” San said.
Wooyoung gave him a fond smile and San pouted.
“That’s my decision to make, don’t you think?” Wooyoung said and San nodded. “And I’m okay with that” San wanted to object but Wooyoung stopped him. “Look, I know it’s not ideal, I do want to kiss you under a palm tree like we’re in a cheesy romantic movie, but I can wait. Just knowing that I have you all for myself is enough motivation” Wooyoung said, tightening his hold on San.
“Are you sure?” San said, sounding worried himself. “I can wait”
“Can you really?” Wooyoung said, giving San’s crotch a pointed look.
The player gave him a sheepish smile. “I can try?” He said, making Wooyoung laugh.
“You don’t have to” He said. “Besides, it’s not exactly hidden. I can tell my friends and you can tell yours, I trust them enough to not ramble about us in public” Wooyoung said but suddenly a worrying thought crept up his mind. “I mean, if your friends are okay with it, of course”
“They’re more than okay. I actually think Seonghwa was planning on breaking up with Arin for me so things could run faster with us” San said, rolling his eyes and Wooyoung smiled. “But I’m not really sure I want you to meet them” He continued, with a thoughtful expression.
“Why?” Wooyoung said, feeling a bit insecure. San’s friends were a huge part of his life. Not getting along with them would certainly put a strain on their relationship.
“You’ll like them more than me” San said, with a pout.
Wooyoung gave him a fond smile before capturing his lips in a kiss.
Kissing San was something new. It had happened before, yes. But it was not nearly enough to make them settle. But at the same, it was like Wooyoung had been doing it for a long time. It was right.
San’s lips were soft, plump, wet. They fit perfectly together and Wooyoung smiled in between the kiss, making San pause and look at him with a raise of his eyebrow.
“What?” He asked, giving Wooyoung’s soft pecks.
“Nothing. It’s just that, that was our second proper kiss, you know?” San nodded with a smile of his own. “But it feels like I’m used to it. Not in a bad way, more like I know that we fit and I’ll want to keep kissing you for a really long time”
“Well, that’s good because I don’t plan on stopping” San said and with a smirk he captured Wooyoung’s lips again.
They made out in front of his door for a few minutes before the elevator doors startled them. San was panting a bit and leaned his head on Wooyoung’s shoulder for a brief second before putting a bit of distance between their bodies.
“I should go” San said.
“You can stay, if you want” Wooyoung said and San looked at him with eyes squinted, lips in a thin line, almost like he was mad. “What?” Wooyoung asked, innocently.
“Don’t make propositions like this” San said, pinching his sides affectionately.
“It’s not a proposition” Wooyoung said. “You really can stay if you want, I don’t mind”
Wooyoung knew the implications of what he said. Everything between them was new, fresh and astonishing. A night alone, in the position they found themselves now, would lead to unknown waters. But even if he wasn’t actively trying to get in San’s pants – he knew they had time now – he wasn’t also avoiding it. Wooyoung was no shy, blushing virgin; even if his stomach tightened in knots just thinking about San touching him like that and having the absolute sure that it would be completely different from everything he had ever felt before.
San took a deep breath before wrapping his arms around Wooyoung again, giving him a long peck on the lips.
“I would love to, but I can’t. I have early practice and an assignment to finish” He said, trying not to sound so disappointed.
“Oh my god, you really should go, then. You’re thinking about assignments, I really can’t get in the middle of this” Wooyoung said jokingly and San started to tickle him by the door.
After a few more minutes being disgustingly in love in front of Wooyoung’s door, they finally let each other go so San could head home. It was getting late.
“Just a warning, Mr. Captain” Wooyoung said before San could get into the elevator. “Don’t think I’ll let slide what you did today” Wooyoung said before blowing San a kiss and entering his apartment.
-
Wooyoung had a massive headache after talking with Mr. Oh.
He walked up to Wooyoung after his morning classes ended and gave him the payment for the last week, apologizing for the delay. Wooyoung accepted with a grin, feeling a bit weird for taking the money now. But what caused him to get messed up was the fact that Mr. Oh wanted a progress report on San.
And Wooyoung had no idea what to say.
He was trying his best, he knew that. Both of them were. But he was pretty aware that focusing on San’s grades had been pushed to the background with everything that was happening between them.
San was smart, he could do whatever if he set his mind on it. And Wooyoung knew they were making progress, but he wasn’t actually keeping track of it. Their last few classes had been all over the place, he had no idea if anything had stuck on San’s brain, even more so if he would actually remember anything when it came to it.
Both of their minds had been far away when they were together for the past few days and suddenly he felt a different something clawing down on him.
More than being frustrated – he knew that feeling like the back of his hand – he was scared. But it was a different kind of scared.
Wooyoung had promised to help San, to get him to play that damned game. And Wooyoung knew just how important that was for San. It was the reason they even met, in the first place. Because San was so desperate that he accepted Wooyoung’s help.
And now Wooyoung wasn’t sure if he was helping at all.
He tried to be as honest as he could with Mr. Oh. Talked him into believe they had been spending every second alone focusing on studying and the dean seemed to buy it. When Mr. Oh said he was looking forward for the game, Wooyoung felt his stomach drop.
San was also excited for it. Wooyoung wasn’t completely into San’s world yet, but he knew just how much he cared about his team. San was putting his trust on him when he first met him at the library and Wooyoung was doing a really poor job at keeping things separated.
Wooyoung knew that, at the end of the day, San was the one risking things to be with him. He ended a relationship, was hiding theirs from fear of backlash and was neglecting his priorities because they were so caught up in each other that nothing else seemed to matter.
With that in mind, after meeting Mr. Oh, Wooyoung enjoyed the last minutes of lunch to work on something to easy his mind about San’s progress and the results they would get in the end. There was no other option than San acing those exams, he knew that. Wooyoung would not be able to handle the guilty that would eat him alive if San had to sit that one out.
+
San was a bit distracted during the day.
Admittedly, it wasn’t hard to make him space out during classes but now that his mind was coming up with ideas of what to do to spend time with Wooyoung now that they were allowed to enjoy each other to their hearts content, it was really hard to focus on the professor talking a few meters ahead of him.
When his classes ended and both San and his friends went to have lunch, San wanted to ditch them to have lunch with Wooyoung somewhere else, but he knew the younger wouldn’t be on board with it.
Which was a bit upsetting, if San had to be honest. He wasn’t sure of how Seonghwa and Hongjoong relationship worked, but Jongho and Yeosang were in a pretty open about theirs. If anything, San could go as friend of the couples and no one would be able to say anything.
But Jongho was already sitting on their usual table and Seonghwa plopped up beside him even before San could propose the idea so he knew that, at least today, that wouldn’t work.
But the day came to an end pretty quickly, considering. People still bothered him about Arin and he had started receiving confessions that he had to politely decline. He couldn’t help but think how hypocrite those people were. Crying about him and Arin breaking up but jumping at him at the first chance they got. He knew Arin was probably on the same position and gave her a silent cheer before exiting his last class of the day.
-
San checked his phone before going to the library and found a message from Wooyoung in there. It asked him to meet at the place Wooyoung usually had lunch at. San frowned but started to walk to the place one would usually find Wooyoung in the afternoon and saw him sitting there with Hongjoong and Yeosang.
San approached slowly, remembering his last interaction with Hongjoong and how the artist seemed to not root for him as much as he’d liked to. Cleaning his throat as he approached made the three boys look up at him, Wooyoung with a bright smile and the other two with neutral expressions. Well, at least he didn’t receive death glares. Yet.
“Hi, Sannie. Sit here” Wooyoung said and patted the empty spot next to him. San sat with a confused expression when he saw all of their study materials spread out on the table.
“Hello” San said politely to Wooyoung’s friends and received silence in return, making him shudder. Those two would be hard to crack.
“Don’t mind them, they don’t bite” Wooyoung said and San saw as Yeosang scoffed. “We’ll be studying here today, is that okay?”
San frowned and looked at Wooyoung inquisitively. They never had a problem at the library before and Wooyoung was the one who choose the place for starters. Of course he had no problem, the place they sat in was rather calm, probably why Wooyoung decided to make that his own spot. San nodded and picked up his own bag to bring out his books. The only thing bothering him, though, was that Yeosang and Hongjoong were giving no indications that they would leave anytime soon.
Not that it was a problem, of course. They were Wooyoung’s friends and, at the same time he couldn’t feel at ease around them, he knew they should try to break the ice on way or another. But it did felt like they were invading a private moment. Their study sessions belong to them and no one else and San was feeling a bit betrayed by their presence.
San must have showed that on his face since Hongjoong looked at him with a smirk.
“You don’t seem really happy to see us, Choi San” He said and San was quick to shake his head.
“Oh, no!” He said, panicking a bit. “It’s just that, I’m used to being just the two of us when he have to study, feels different when there are other people around”
“Oh, we’ll definitely help you focus on what matters” Yeosang said this time and San felt like there was an implication there, but couldn’t exactly pinpoint it.
Focusing on the books and material Wooyoung had prepared was rather easy today, after he had been repelled from touching his tutor at least a dozen times in the last twenty minutes.
He had tried to hold his hand, touch his thigh under the table, caress his calf with his feet but to no avail. Wooyoung slapped him every time San as much as breathed in his direction. He gave up after noticing Wooyoung’s friends watching them and with a sigh, he turned his attention to the laptop screen in front of him.
After a torturous amount of time, the hour came to an end. When Wooyoung closed his laptop, Hongjoong and Yeosang got up and with a wave, went on their way; almost like they were there solely for the class.
Something clicked in San’s mind and he looked at Wooyoung suspiciously. He was collecting his things and San waited patiently until he was done and offered to walk him home. While on the way, San brought up the subject.
“Why you didn’t want to study at the library today?” San asked.
“Oh, I think it’s good to breathe some fresh air once in a while. It helps to understand things better” Wooyoung said.
“Ok, and why were your friends there?” He continued.
“Because they wanted to? They were just sitting there, was that a problem?” Wooyoung asked almost defensively, not looking at him.
“Feels like they were on guard duty or something” San sad, trying to make it sound as a joke but it didn’t land.
“Nonsense” Wooyoung said and shrugged, still avoiding San’s eyes.
San kept quiet until they arrived at Wooyoung’s dorm room. He repeated the motions as yesterday and followed the younger to his door. Wooyoung was a bit fidget, not allowing San to touch him even when they were alone in the corridor.
San was baffled with the sudden change. They were all over one another not more than twenty four hours ago and now Wooyoung was behaving like touching San would burn him.
Something shifted uncomfortably inside of San at the thought of having made Wooyoung uncomfortable sometime along the way. He must have done something that bothered his tutor for him to be acting like this but nothing came to mind as Wooyoung unlocked his door, and turned to face him before going inside.
“Goodnight, Sannie” Wooyoung said and San held his hand before he could enter.
“What’s going on?” San asked, confused.
“Nothing” Wooyoung said way too quickly for it to be true. “Don’t worry, Sannie”
“There’s something off about you. First with the class, then the presence of your friends and now looks like you’re running away.” Almost like you’re scared of me, it went unsaid.
“I’m not running, baby, I’m just tired” Wooyoung said, with a sigh of his own. He stepped closer to San and wrapped him a hug that the player was quick to reciprocate. “You also have things to do. You have practice and other classes to focus on, I’m sure it tires you out” Wooyoung mumbled, face hidden on the material of San shirt.
“I do, but being with you recharges my energy” San said, honestly and Wooyoung held him tighter. “Did I do something that bothered you? I need to know so I won’t do it again, beautiful” San said and Wooyoung looked at him with a pout.
“You’re the best thing in my life, Sannie. You did nothing wrong, I promise” Wooyoung said and gave him a chaste kiss.
“So should I take your word for it that you’re just tired?” San asked. He would drop the subject for the time being.
“Yes” Wooyoung answered with a cute voice and a nod of his head. San only sighed and hugged him tightly against his chest, feeling the younger melt on his embrace.
San felt weird. It was obvious Wooyoung craved his presence and his touch as much as San did. So his behavior for the past couple of hours was intriguing, to say the least.
Wooyoung told him goodbye with a peck on the lips before going inside his apartment and locking the door. No invitations to stay this time.
-
The next day was more of the same.
San had endless classes, an endless lunch break and endless time to think about what was the reason of Wooyoung’s behavior the day prior.
Wooyoung texted him in the morning, just a good morning together with a kissy face, almost as to placate San, who must have looked pretty displeased at the lack of explanations yesterday.
San was not a demanding person. He never was with his family or friends, and even less with his previous relationship. And he wasn’t about to become an unbearable boyfriend who demanded attention 24/7, but he didn’t had enough time to enjoy Wooyoung yet to be nonchalant about not being able to have him around. So when he texted Wooyoung in between classes and didn’t receive any response, he sulked until the day was finally over.
Having a feeling that he wouldn’t find Wooyoung at the library, San decided to walk over to the same spot his tutor asked to meet him yesterday and already found Wooyoung in there, this time with a bigger crowd.
Hongjoong and Yeosang were present just like yesterday, but this time they were accompanied by Jongho, Seonghwa and Yunho, who was rather distracted looking at his phone and didn’t perceive San coming around like the rest of the people surround him.
San felt himself growing annoyed. He really could not understand why suddenly they were in need of a crowd. Trying to school his facial features when sitting down beside Wooyoung and giving him a chaste kiss on his head, San picked up his books without bothering to address anyone in the table.
“I have a test for you today, Sannie” Wooyoung said and took a sheet out of the middle of his books, with a smile that wasn’t reaching his eyes.
“Why?” San asked, squinting his eyes.
“So will see how much of what we did you’ve learned and if we need to go back on a specific subject” Wooyoung explained and San nodded, taking the paper away from his hands.
Everyone in the table was rather quiet, San noticed. Seonghwa and Hongjoong were probably texting each other because the smile on their faces was rather incriminating. Jongho and Yeosang were actually studying as well, books open in front of them. Yunho excused himself five minutes after San arrived saying he had to meet someone. Mingi, probably, since he was almost running after saying goodbye.
San focused on answering the questions Wooyoung prepared for him and finished about half an hour later. Wooyoung seemed anxious beside him, going back and forth between pages and slides, taking notes of things and putting reminders on specific pages.
San gave the paper back to him and Wooyoung looked at it attentively. San took his time to admire Wooyoung’s focused face. He had a perfect side profile, San sighed dreamily. Perfect shaped nose, big lips and sharp jawline. His eyebrows were also designed and San could see a faint touch of eye makeup to make them look bigger.
“You did good” Wooyoung said. San frowned when the tone of his voice as almost relieved.
“I know. You’re a good teacher, baby” San said and gave him a sniff kiss on the cheek and Wooyoung sighed, holding his hand underneath the table.
San was confused. More than sounding relieve, Wooyoung seemed like a plane had been took out of his shoulder. He noticed when him and Yeosang exchanged a quick look.
“What is this about?” San asked Wooyoung in a whisper.
It was pretty obvious Wooyoung was keeping something from him; that something being the reason why suddenly it seemed like they couldn’t be alone anymore.
“What?” Wooyoung whispered back and San felt more than just a bit annoyed this time.
He got up and grabbed Wooyoung softly by the wrist, signalizing that he wanted to be followed. Wooyoung went along and they stopped far enough that their friends wouldn’t hear their conversation.
San did not want a fight. They were not even in that stage. They were in their honeymoon phase, everything was supposed to be good and sweet and perfect and lovely. Just kisses and giggles for a long while. He just wanted to understand why Wooyoung seemed to be trying so hard to cut it short and play dumb about it.
“What is this all about?” San asked, leaning against a tree and crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Yesterday it was just your friends and now you’ve doubled the amount of people around us”
“And what’s the problem with that?” Wooyoung asked with a frown. “They’re our friends and we’re just studying together, why does it bother you?”
“It doesn’t. But you’re acting different and I have no idea why” San said, frustrated. “One day we’re all over each other and the next you’re suddenly building up a wall around me and making sure we can’t be alone anymore” San said and felt a hole on his stomach when something clicked on his mind. “Is it because of what happened at the library?” He said. “If it was too much and I made you feel uncomfortable you need to tell me, baby.”
San felt like an asshole. He had been too incisive on his approach, literally jerking Wooyoung off in a public space. He had had consent but the younger could have changed his mind, of course.
“No, Sannie. That’s not it, at all” Wooyoung reassured him and stepped closer, holding onto his crossed arms. “You’ve never made me uncomfortable with your touches, please don’t ever think that. That’s not what’s happening, I promise”
“Then what is it?” San asked again and Wooyoung sighed.
“Look, Mr. Oh came to talk to me yesterday morning” He started and San was attentively looking at him. “He wanted to ask how you were doing and if we had made any progress” Wooyoung said with a tired sigh.
“And what about it?” San asked, still confused.
“We’re not exactly focusing on your education here, San” Wooyoung said, exasperated. “We’re too caught up in each other to make this something practical. When was the last time he had a productive class?” Wooyoung continued, sounding troubled. “Last time we’ve tried you ended up with a handful of my cum”
“So you what? Decided to have a crowd so it would stop me from touching you?” San asked, dumbfounded.
“Seemed like a solution. We’re in a public space surrounded by other people. We can’t just be lovey dovey around them” Wooyoung said with a pout. “Look, I promised to help you. And I I’ve been doing a poor job at it” San wanted to stop him, but Wooyoung cut him. “All I’ve managed was to make you completely aloof to the problem at hand. The reason why we met so you could play that game and now what? You can’t even focus on what I’m saying because we’re thinking about making out at every possible second” Wooyoung huffed and San looked at him with a smile.
“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me” San said and Wooyoung’s resolve seemed to crumble just a tiny bit. “You’re helping me more than you can imagine. Not just because of the game, you know? You kind of made me realize that life is way more than just this” San said while moving his hands around them, signalizing around the campus. “There’s so much more that’s worth living for and you made me open my eyes to it”
“Did I?” Wooyoung asked with a frown. “Because it seems like all I’ve done was make you break up with your girlfriend and keep a secret from your team”
“You’re selling yourself too short, Wooyoung” San said, tone a bit scolding. “I’ve thought a lot about everything before making a decision, you know that better than anyone. And I only made it when I knew it would be something I wouldn’t regret. If you think we’re not putting a lot of effort in the classes then we will work harder and I promise I’ll be on my best behavior, but don’t doubt about anything else” San pleaded, pulling him closer in an embrace. “I would scream out of rooftop just how smitten I am with you if I could” San said, rather sad. “You said so yourself this is not a secret, right?” He asked and Wooyoung nodded, eyes dropping. “And my team is sitting right there, probably only a little less in love with you than I am” San said and saw as Wooyoung’s eyes welled up.
“You can’t say things like this, Choi San” Wooyoung said with a pout, cleaning his eyes behind his fogged up classes.
San laughed and gave him a quick kiss before picking Wooyoung up and throwing his across his shoulders, hearing his laughing screams before going back to the table.
He felt relieved in a way. San knew the amount of effort they would be putting to make their relationship work at the beginning and at least the first bump they already left behind.
+
Wooyoung was leaning up against San’s side after putting his studying materials away.
He was feeling giddy and just a tiny bit snobby if you asked him but how could he not? Choi San was in love with him.
Those words were repeating on his head like a mantra, until San’s soft voice was the only thing Wooyoung could hear around him.
Only when San nudged his side to get his attention Wooyoung realized he was spacing out. He straightened himself on the seat to pay attention to what was being said.
“Who’s going?” Yeosang asked and Wooyoung looked at him with questioning eyes. “To the party tomorrow” Yeosang said rolling his eyes at him.
“I’ll pass” Wooyoung said. “I have a shit ton of things to study”
Everyone else seemed to be considering as well, with exam week coming up.
“I’ll let you know tomorrow, Sangie” Hongjoong said while getting up and stretching before packing his things to leave. Wooyoung saw as Seonghwa’s eyes followed his every movement and smiled.
“I’ll pass as well” San said, wrapping an arm around Wooyoung’s waist. “I’ll help Wooyoungie study” His sweet, innocent voice not fooling anyone.
Wooyoung rolled his eyes before Hongjoong gave them a sarcastic laugh. “I had no idea law students needed anatomy lessons”
“He needs to have a expand field of expertise” San sassed back and whole table sniggered.
After everything was wrapped up, and everyone went on their ways, San insisted on taking Wooyoung home. It was late, the streets pretty deserted around the campus. San kept playing with Wooyoung’s fingers throughout the whole bus ride and all the way to his apartment, almost like he was physically unable to let go of him.
“Wanna come in?” Wooyoung asked when they arrived.
“No” San said with a smirk as he stepped closer to Wooyoung, trapping him between his body and the closed door. “You’re grounded for neglecting me for two whole days”
“I’m grounded?” Wooyoung asked with a exasperated smile.
“Yes. A whole night Choi Sanless for you” He said with a wink before kissing Wooyoung.
Kissing San would probably never get old. The feel of him on his lips, the weight of his tongue; San tasted like his mint toothpaste with a hint of the cinnamon bubblegum he was chewing on their way home.
Reluctantly letting him go when San pulled back, a shy bite on his bottom lip that made Wooyoung gasp a small breath, Wooyoung looked at him with a lustful gaze.
“That’s not fair, you know” Wooyoung whined. “I was trying to be a good person, thinking about your future”
“Oh, baby” San said with fake sugary on his voice. “That’s not my problem”
“You just like being mean, I see” Wooyoung said again, crossing his arms with a pout.
“I’ll make up for you tomorrow. I did promise to help you study, didn’t I? San whispered as leaned on Wooyoung, lips capturing his ear in a teasing bite.
“Just go then, or I’ll drag you inside” Wooyoung warned him when San started to kiss his neck. The player laughed and let him go with one last peck on the lips.
“What time can I come?” San asked, lacing their fingers.
“I’ll text you when I wake up, okay? I can cook us lunch, if you want” Wooyoung said and that sounded so domestic that it was foreign to his ears.
“Perfect. Text me if you need me to bring anything, okay?” Wooyoung nodded and San kissed his again one last time before going.
Wooyoung went to sleep with a smile so big it probably never went away even when he was deep into dreamland.
Notes:
a heads up to yall: full on smut is coming on the next chapter
ALSO: 300+ KUDOS? WHAT? you guys are amazing, thank you so so much for liking this story, it means the world to me 💞
Chapter 14: 14
Chapter Text
It was 9 in the morning when Wooyoung woke up. Rather early for a Saturday but he was looking forward to the day.
After lazing around in bed for God knows how long, Wooyoung took a long shower before picking up his phone and seeing a message from San asking what he should bring and where he could help since Wooyoung was adamant on making lunch. After a long argument, they decided San would be in charge of dessert – a lemon pie because he made Wooyoung choose – and Wooyoung would be responsible for the food, not wanting San anywhere near a stove after that one time the player told him about an incident involving him, a lighter and dishcloth.
San arrived a couple of hours later with a whole pie and a sweet kiss to Wooyoung’s lips. The player made himself comfortable on the counter next to where Wooyoung had already started on their food by chopping the ingredients he would need. San asked to help after five minutes or so and Wooyoung was too soft for him that he decided to let the player stir the sauce he was making because San was giving him sad eyes and Wooyoung couldn’t handle.
“Are you sure you can be here?” Wooyoung asked. “The game is next week”
“I asked the coach this weekend off so the kids can do whatever and come back next week knowing their lives belong to me” San said with a smirk and Wooyoung rolled his eyes. “The week leading to an important game is always busy, but we’re used to it. At first I had no idea what to do to calm them down or to reassure them that all the practice would pay off. It’s tiring and demands a lot from all of us, but I’m sure we can win” San said and sounded so proud that Wooyoung couldn’t help the smile blooming on his face.
Walking up to the player, Wooyoung hugged him from behind, resting his hand on San’s broad back.
“How are you holding up?” Wooyoung asked, genuinely concerned.
San is their captain, their backbone in and out of the field. And even if Wooyoung’s now a little less concerned about San acing his exams, he’s still insecure. San had a lot going on, with overall classes, the practices that would probably be relentless this next week and his tutoring lessons that would, thank Goodness, end on Friday.
“I’m good” The player told him, lowering the fire on the stove and turning around to hug Wooyoung back. “I know you’re insecure about the exam but I’m sure I can do it, I promise” San said and gave him a kiss on the forehead. “Besides, I’m really looking forward for all of this to be over soon so I can kidnap you for a whole week with no worries”
“I still have classes to attend to, you know?” Wooyoung said even if his mind was already coming up with scenarios for the both of them alone.
“They can handle it” San said before leaning down and capturing Wooyoung’s lips with his.
The kiss was just as good as all the other ones before. But they let go of each other after a while when a distinct burnt smell permeated the air.
“Choi San, my sauce!”
-
They managed to save the sauce and Wooyoung forbid San to enter the kitchen again until the lunch was served. San was pouting by the door and making grabbing hands at Wooyoung like a toddler, making the younger laugh. Wooyoung shooed him to the living room to pick a movie for them watch while he finished the last touches on the pasta. After five or so more minutes Wooyoung entered the living room with their plates ready and San went to pick some drinks.
They ate in between laughing about San’s locker room stories and Wooyoung’s shameless attempts to debut as an idol early in life. They had no idea how long they spent just talking and laughing together until the movie they put on – and didn’t watch – came to an end on the TV.
After brushing their teeth – with San splattering water at him because he is a five years old at heart – Wooyoung went to pick up his books because he did really need to study.
Wooyoung sat on the ground and put his things on the coffee table in the living room, while San opted for lie down on the couch behind him, hands instantly tangling on his hair, but otherwise allowing Wooyoung to focus on the material in front of him.
The first twenty minutes or so where calm, Wooyoung making notes and going back and forth through the pages and rearranging a few flash cards he made to make it easier to remember so many constitutional articles as San’s hand constantly petted his head making him relaxed.
After almost one hour Wooyoung got up to stretch and get a cup of glass and San gave him a smile looking up from his phone when Wooyoung gently took the player’s hand out of his hair. When he came back, however, San was not laying on the sofa anymore. Instead, the player was occupying the position Wooyoung once held on the ground, looking through his stuff with a fond smile. Noticing Wooyoung watching him, San opened his legs and patted the empty spot in front of him, making clear that it was where he wanted Wooyoung to sit. Wooyoung arched his eyebrows with a smirk that San returned but went on his way to sit in between the player’s legs.
Wooyoung walked up to him in unhurried steps, enjoying the way San’s eyes never left him. When he was close enough, the player took him by the waist to guide him down until Wooyoung was comfortably sitting in between his legs, the warmth of his chest spreading through Wooyoung’s back. San’s hands were steady on his body, but not moving, just comfortably resting on him and Wooyoung adjusted himself until he was able to grab his books again and continue from where he’d stopped.
He didn’t get much done, though. San started to nose his neck in a slow, teasing way and it was distracting. His hands were still unmoving, but holding Wooyoung in place close to him, while his lips started to leave wet patches on Wooyoung’s skin. He was trying hard not to get distracted but San was making hard for Wooyoung to focus on something that wasn’t the kitten licks on the back of his neck that made the hairs on his nape stand up.
With a deep breath, Wooyoung let himself melt just a bit when San’s fingers went inside his shirt, blunt nails scratching the steadily heating skin underneath it. He heard a low chuckle coming from the player when the goose bumps on his skin where visible after a particular sharp bite San left in the junction of his neck and shoulders and huffed in fake annoyance at San’s teasing.
The player wasn’t relenting on his little fun time. Wooyoung picked up a pencil to try and pretend he was thinking of something else and San was not affecting him; that the hard planes of his body behind Wooyoung weren’t making his stomach churn. But it didn’t really work since as soon as San noticed Wooyoung trying to brush his attempts off he became bolder and pulled Wooyoung to full on sit on his lap. Feeling the telltale of a hardening bulge underneath him made Wooyoung give up on writing anything and just drop the pencil, choosing to fully enjoy Choi San.
The player seemed content with the decision and pressed his hips up to Wooyoung’s behind, making both of them inhale a sharp gasp. Wooyoung head moved at its own accord, completely exposing his neck for San and the player didn’t think twice before latching his lips to the skin and sucking what would become a nasty bruise in a few hours, not that Wooyoung would care at the moment.
San’s hands started to wander around on Wooyoung’s body, scratching at his belly, dangerously close to the waistband of the sweatpants he was wearing. The younger’s mind was starting to get covered by a fuzzy haze now, everything else but San’s erratic breath as he left open mouthed kisses at every patch of exposed skin he could find becoming background noise.
Wooyoung had no idea what to do with his own hands as he choose to grip the edge of the table to ground himself but it was a pathetic attempt on control seeing that his hips started to slowly move on San’s laps, creating at first a barely imperceptible friction, that increased when the player’s nimble fingers found Wooyoung’s nipples and pinched them, making him cry out and his dick twitch in the confines of his underwear.
San was thrusting up and the feel of him, even with the layers of clothing separating them, was making Wooyoung a bit dizzy. He could feel the shape of San’s dick sliding against him and the feeling was going straight to his own dick.
He felt as a bit desperately San tugged at his shirt and after a heartbeat Wooyoung helped him remove the piece of clothing, baring himself from the waist up. San did not lost a second before attacking Wooyoung’s back with kisses and bites, making him shiver and leak in his underwear when San’s teeth scratched at his ribs teasingly.
Wooyoung ground down on him more desperately when San palmed him through his pants, making him whine in frustration. The player groaned at the back of his throat and Wooyoung speed up, making San hold him by the hips to steady his movements as Wooyoung almost bounced on his lap.
Wooyoung always had a thing for hair pulling so when San grabbed a fistful of his hair and yanked back to whisper on his ear how good he was, a shiver went down on his body, making him tremble on San’s lap, faltering his movements.
“How far you want to take this?” San whispered hotly in his ear, his tone almost begging.
“I want you” Wooyoung whispered back, just as desperate. “All of you”
They managed to disentangle off of each other long enough to move to Wooyoung’s room, the orange hues of sundown the only light surrounding them.
As soon as the door closed behind them, their mouths were on each other. It was a different kind of kiss, Wooyoung thought. This one had purpose, it was leading to something. It still had a sweet touch to it, it seemed like San was impossible to not pour his heart into every little touch he gave Wooyoung.
San gently laid Wooyoung on the bed, hand supporting his head as they didn’t stop kissing. Wooyoung was already shirtless so San started to lay kisses down on his exposed chest before latching his mouth onto one of Wooyoung’s nipples, making the younger’s back arch of the bed. Wooyoung whined at the back of his throat and the sound seemed to stir San up as he enthusiastically alternated between the pebbled nubs, making Wooyoung cry out and fist the sheets.
Wooyoung’s nipples were red and sensitive when San decided he had played with them enough and wandered down his body, lips leaving a trail of kisses until San’s face was above his crotch. San looked up at him as his hands went to the waistband of Wooyoung’s pants, as if to look for confirmation and Wooyoung could only but nod in agreement. San took his pants and underwear in one go and Wooyoung shivered.
It was a different feeling. Wooyoung had been naked with a considerable amount of people, but the anticipation he was feeling, the knot on his stomach, the fluttering of his heart; only Choi San ever caused that.
San started slow, kissing sensually from his calf until the inside of his thighs, were he left a reddening bruise after sinking his teeth into it, making Wooyoung desperately rut into the air. His dick was aching, he could swear it was almost purple at this time, but San seemed to be taking his time. Wooyoung could feel his warm breath reaching his most sensitive part as San kept kissing and sucking small bruises next to it.
Wooyoung was equal parts frustrated and delighted. San was making sure to kiss every single part of him, to murmur just how beautiful he was after every kiss, every touch seemed to be charged with emotions. But at the same time, Wooyoung had never been teased for so long. He was impatient in bed and he knew just how much of a brat he could be. But at the back of his mind, he knew that was San’s first time with a man. He was doing his best to make the player comfortable.
He knew he had always been a demanding lover. He liked to dictated the rhythm, to make things as he pleased and take his time pleasing his partner. And Wooyoung was dying to touch San. He had been dreaming about it for so long that now that it was so easy to just grab and take it, he was feeling a bit self-conscious. But deep down he knew he shouldn’t worry about it because San was just as into it as Wooyoung was.
So he decided to throw a bit of his caution away and demand just a little, just because he knew San could give it to him.
“Sannie, come here” Wooyoung whispered, grabbing San by the shoulder to get his attention.
The player seemed lost, pupils dilated and breathe unsteady and Wooyoung felt powerful, even if he was in a somehow vulnerable state, being the only one undressed as he noticed, that San was looking like that because of him, because he was touching him.
San crawls up until they’re face to face again and after a lewd kiss, Wooyoung managed to change their position and straddle San, who was the one lying on the bed now.
It took a lot of self control to Wooyoung not start rutting at the exposed patch of skin that he could see as San shirt rode up. Wooyoung’s hard, leaking cock was brushing against the material and making him moan and shiver as he ravished San’s neck, his time to leave bites now. The player held him by the hips when Wooyoung sat down on his clothed cock once again, this time feeling just how hard he was through the material of his clothes. Wooyoung’s eyes rolled at the back of his head when San rutted his hips up and he could feel how damp his sweatpants were.
Wooyoung took off San’s shirt and almost drooled at the body underneath him. He had an idea that San was fit, being a player and all. His clothes never did much to hide the shape of the body underneath either it but seeing it first hand – so close he could touch – was a whole new experience. San’s skin was unblemished, small, pink nipples erect and neglected. The contrast of his broad ass shoulders and his tiny waist were even starker looking from up close and Wooyoung just knew he would look too good pounding him into oblivion.
Just because he likes being a little shit, Wooyoung started to leave feather like kisses throughout San’s chest only to seductive lick at one of his nipples making San gasp. Wooyoung latched on one of the buds and made sure to entertain eye contact just to be gifted with the image of San pleasured face, eyes rolling back and mouth open. He gave attention to both nipples for a few minutes before kissing his way down until he went low enough to ease San’s pants out of his hips. The player complied and the piece of clothing was out of the way in a matter of seconds.
San was using a dark red underwear and Wooyoung could see his arousal through it. It was nicely curved and even in the dim light of the room, Wooyoung could see the damp spot on the tip, making his mouth water.
Wooyoung decided to go slow but not as slow as San was with him because he was planning on getting fucked sometime this year, thank you. But he knew San needed time to adjust so he would give him just that.
With a firm move, Wooyoung grabs San’s hardened cock through the material of his underwear, eliciting a gasp from him at the restrained contact. Wooyoung starts a slow massage, teasing the expanse of him but avoiding the leaking tip. With his other hand, Wooyoung decided to use his nails to scratch teasingly at his inner thighs and saw as San’s breath was coming in small, sharp intakes. The player’s eyes were closed as he enjoyed Wooyoung’s ministrations and he looked so beautiful Wooyoung almost came himself.
After a few minutes of this treatment, Wooyoung takes his hands off of San just long enough to take off his underwear completely. San’s cock spring free veiny and leaking in all its cut glory. With the tip of his fingers, Wooyoung’s started to slowly caress him, making San whine.
“You’re sensitive, baby?” Wooyoung asked, amused at the reaction.
San almost trashed underneath him when Wooyoung pressed a single finger to his tip, smearing the precum oozing from it and seeing how a single strand connected them after he pulled away. “Just, please…” San said, a bit out of it and Wooyoung smiled.
Deciding to be more assertive now, Wooyoung grabs San in his hand and gives a slow, experimental stroke. The slide was a bit dry and rough, but San didn’t seem to mind if the small pleasured moan he let out was any indication. Wooyoung could see his abs constricting as he gave a few more slow, agonizing strokes, earning him a small, broken please that made Wooyoung smirk. Catching the precum leaking from San to make his actions more pleasurable, Wooyoung kept stroking San in a pace that was not slow but also not good enough to satisfy the player.
San started to try and buck up into Wooyoung’s hands to impose a rhythm of his own but Wooyoung wasn’t having it, taking his hand away at the first try. San whined in protest, a broken cry coming out of him and going straight to Wooyoung’s still hard cock.
Wooyoung watched as San’s angry red cock twitched, the tip leaking a bit more and he couldn’t help himself. Almost shyly, Wooyoung let the tip of his tongue circle around the head of San’s cock and the player trashed in the bed, a deep groan coming out of him. Wooyoung positioned himself in all fours on the bed, and started to kiss San’s length lewdly, hearing as the player’s breath became faster and faster. San’s hand found Wooyoung’s hair the moment Wooyoung let his mouth sink on him, engulfing his length.
San tasted like clean skin, a bit salty from the amount of precum he had already leaked but Wooyoung didn’t mind. It was perfect. The stretch on his mouth was pleasurable and he let his head bob up and down on him. It was more than satisfying hearing San as he was very vocal. Small pleas were everything he could fully verbalize other than grunts and groans of his own as Wooyoung lapped around him enthusiastically.
Wooyoung let him off his mouth with a pop just to attack San again by mouthing at his balls and the player’s hand tugged at his hair so harshly that Wooyoung thanked the gods that he didn’t come right on the spot. He was doing his best to forget about his own pleasure for now or else he would be rutting into the sheets like an animal.
With a hand stroking lazily around his length and his mouth latched onto San’s balls, Wooyoung saw as the player’s thighs started to quiver and pulled off of him earning himself a desperate cry. Wooyoung smiled and went up to kiss San again, the player holding onto him like a lifeline, kissing him like it was the only thing he knew how to do.
Wooyoung went back to straddling him and San started to move his hips ups, rubbing their lengths together. Wooyoung was sensitive and let out a broken cry when he felt the tip of San’s cock rubbing his, the lower part of their bodies becoming a mess of exchanged precum.
“S-san…” Wooyoung whispered brokenly. “Fuck…” Wooyoung cried as San moaned in his ear and grabbed hard a handful of his ass. “Fuck m-me, Sannie, please…”
“Fuck…” Wooyoung heard San moan underneath him before stopping his movements altogether and flipping their positions
Wooyoung was lying on the bed once again, shivering in anticipation.
“Do you have…?” San said and Wooyoung nodded, pointing at the bedside table where he kept the lube and condoms.
San was quick to grab the items so he could start to work Wooyoung open. Wooyoung was a bit apprehensive, he wouldn’t lie. San had never done that before and it was a lot to take in. But his worries vanished the moment he felt San’s first finger tease his entrance, shyly circling it before forcing inside.
The intrusion wasn’t painful, but a bit foreign, giving how long has been since Wooyoung had been intimate with someone. But the discomfort faded quickly as San’s finger started to move in and out until only his knuckle could be seen. The second finger came not long after and San decided to lazily stroke Wooyoung’s dick to distract him from the stretch. Wooyoung moaned when San’s lubed hand wrapped around him and quickly shooed the hand away or else he would come. San made way for the third finger and started to ram them in and out of Wooyoung, scissoring him open until Wooyoung’s was a moaning mess on the bed.
Wooyoung had always noticed San’s small hands. They were delicate, always well manicure and with small, chubby fingers. It was cute to look at the difference with his own with his long, bony fingers. But if Wooyoung loved to hold San’s hand and envelop them with his own, now they were making his frustrated.
He could feel San’s fingers well, fucking him open good and thoroughly and he shivered when they brushed past his prostate. San seemed to notice it and went back on ramming on the same spot. Wooyoung could feel them brushing against it but his fingers were not long enough to reach it like Wooyoung wanted, to massage it and make him see stars. It felt too good, he wouldn’t lie, the way San’s fingers were just grazing, unintentionally teasing, but it was maddening.
“I need you in me, San-ah” Wooyoung whispered. “Fuck me, come on” Wooyoung begged.
San complied quickly, taking out his fingers and putting in the condom before lubing himself up until he deemed it was enough.
“Let me ride you” Wooyoung whispered sensually and saw as San grabbed the base of his dick and squeezed it, grunting low as he positioned Wooyoung in front of him, the younger’s legs on his shoulders.
“Next time, baby. I won’t be able to last if you do that” San whispered back. Wooyoung smirked and was about to say a sassy remark but sucked in a deep breath when San’s tip brushed against his entrance.
San pushed in slowly, stopping when the tip popped inside. They both sucked in a deep breath, San’s hands gripping Wooyoung’s hips so hard it would probably bruise in the morning. Wooyoung could see on his face that San was overwhelmed. He couldn’t say he wasn’t affected either, it was rather intense to feel San on him so intimately for the first time. After a few seconds San pushed inside again, entering him slowly until he was buried to the hilt.
The player let his body slump forward until he was chest to chest with Wooyoung, hiding his face on the younger’s neck and breathing him in. Wooyoung’s own breath was erratic, his hands tangling on San’s soft hair while his hips started to move slowly, rutting into him.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” San moaned and Wooyoung’s shivered at the hot breath on his neck. “You’re so tight, fuck…” San was panting onto his skin, hips unmoving.
Wooyoung whined in frustration by his restricted movements, San’s body pining him relentlessly.
“Please, Sannie, come on” Wooyoung begged, tears welling on his eyes.
San pushed back until just the tip was inside Wooyoung and slammed back inside again, both of them moaning loudly at the feeling.
“You’re so big, fuck…” Wooyoung moaned when San started to build a rhythm. “I’m so full, Sannie”
San seemed too lost to mutter any coherent words. He straightened himself up again and started to ram inside Wooyoung in a pace that made them both cry out and the bed rattle. The visual alone would make Wooyoung come if he wasn’t careful. San had his brows furrowed, mouth slack and eyes closed as he pushed inside Wooyoung again and again, head thrown back and a small layer of sweat starting to cover his skin. He was the painted imagine of pleasure and Wooyoung felt so good, so proud of himself for being able to give that to him.
Wooyoung was meeting San’s every thrust, his body jolting on the bed every time San’s hips met with the back of his thighs. His mind was clouded and his whole body tingling.
When one of San’s hands clasped around him Wooyoung went to the moon and back. It was tight and warm, the slide so easy with the lube that Wooyoung lost a bit of his mind, only choked grunts coming out of him. San was not faring much better, his movements loosing rhythm a few times as he cried out Wooyoung’s name like a mantra.
With one particular thrust, where San buried himself deep and rutted shallowly, he perfectly pushed against Wooyoung’s prostate and the younger screamed in pleasure, his body thrumming, a jolt of energy that went from the end of his spine to his scalp zooming through him. San kept himself buried there, circling his hips to massage the perfect spot as he stroked Wooyoung to completion. The younger chocked on his own words as his orgasm rippled through him, so strong that his whole body convulsed, his hole clenching so tight around San that the player slammed around him hard twice more before his legs lost strength and he slumped forward, supporting his weight on the bed with his arms while he filled the condom, shaking like a leaf.
It took a while for the both of them to come back to themselves. It was the strongest orgasm Wooyoung had ever had and it seemed like it wasn’t far behind for San. It took a few minutes before they could properly think again and San slipped outside of Wooyoung, both whining at the sensitivity and the player threw the used condom on the trash can beside the bed. Neither of them seemed strong enough to get up at the moment so they basked a bit more in the afterglow by cuddling close, not caring about the mess they made on each other’s bodies.
Wooyoung must have dozed off, because when he opened his eyes again, San wasn’t in bed anymore. He whined at the loss of warmth but San appeared at the doorstep not even a minute after, wearing his sweatpants and a smile.
“I ran us a bath, come on” He went inside the room and helped Wooyoung up. The younger was clinging onto him, legs still weak but feeling better than he ever felt before.
San took care of him, washing his body and his hair, massaging his shoulders and giving him small, soft kisses on every little red bruise he had left on Wooyoung’s skin. He knew it would be a pain to hide the most visible ones until they completely faded but it was so worth that Wooyoung couldn’t complain. After they both left the bathroom and San dried and dressed Wooyoung, who was still wrapped around him like a koala, only making the player laugh, they went back to bed, where they changed the sheets and laid back again.
Putting a movie on Wooyoung’s laptop and setting it at the feet of the bed, they cuddled one more time.
“How are you feeling?” Wooyoung asked. He was laying on San’s chest, one hand wrapped around his waist while the player softly caresses his freshly washed hair.
“Better than I’ve ever felt before” San said and he sounded so genuine that Wooyoung felt like crying. “Mind blowing sex aside” San said and Wooyoung chuckled. “You’re the best thing that happened to me” The player said and Wooyoung tilted his head up to look at him.
San’s voice was serious but his expression showed serenity and contentment. Shit, Wooyoung was so in love with him.
Wooyoung smiled and gave him a soft kiss on the chin. “It still baffles me that this is real” Wooyoung confessed and hugged San closer.
“It seemed impossible for me at beginning, too” San said and sighed. “There were times when I just wished you’d disappear so everything could go back to what I was used to”
Wooyoung nodded because it was the same for him. San disrupted everything he was familiar with for the past couple of years and that was terrifying at the beginning.
“But I don’t think things would end differently for us, anyways. We’ve tried really hard to not make it happen and look at us now” Wooyoung said and San chuckled underneath him.
“You’re the only one for me, aren’t you?” The player asked and his voice was so sweet and so hopeful that Wooyoung’s started to tear up against his will.
“I really hope so” He said, hiding his face in the crook of San’s neck and breathing him in.
They stayed like that, wrapped around each other until their stomachs protested and they went to devour the lunch’s leftover.
While eating, they decided to text their friends to schedule a movie night for the next day. Everyone agreed and Wooyoung was about to have a stroke thinking about how to accommodate eight grown man inside his one bedroom – eight because Yunho was adamant on bringing Mingi and Wooyoung would never deny that because 1. It was Mingi and he was always welcome and 2. He played cupid for that love story, he deserved a peek on how it was developing.
They decided to call it a night after the first two Harry Potters movies – one of the many things they had discovered to have in common lately – and went back to bed. Both were way too tired to start any other funny business and after they hugged close together, both fell asleep quickly without a care in the world if not wake up in each other’s arms.
Notes:
i said there were just a few chapters left for this story but i keep changing my mind so idk anymore BUT i'll probably let you guys know in the next update.
also HBD TO MY BABY BEAR JONGHO
(stream say my name, fuck you vata)
Chapter 15: 15
Notes:
there's a sexual scene at the end and if someone wants to skip it, stop reading when they arrive at wooyoung's dorm :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Morning came too quick.
Opening his eyes, Wooyoung groaned while the sun peeked through the curtains. San was wrapped around him, his chin tucking Wooyoung’s head into an embrace and, as much he wanted to stay like that forever, it was too hot for his barely functioning air conditioner.
But San’s steady breath was so calming that Wooyoung didn’t have the heart to move, knowing he could wake the player. Wooyoung wanted him to get all the rest he could knowing how important the coming week was for San. The player wasn’t showing it, but Wooyoung knew how nervous he must be. The dean had been incredibly assertive about his situation: if San can’t pass his exams, he can’t play anymore. And the fact that the game and his damned exams were just a day apart was not making things any easier.
With a sigh, Wooyoung hugged him closer, burying his face on the middle of his chest, inhaling his perfume. San gave a content sigh in his sleep but blinked awake just a few seconds after, tilting his head down to look at Wooyoung with a sleepy smile, eyes half-closed.
“Good morning, love” The player said, giving him a kiss on the forehead.
“Morning” Wooyoung answered, putting himself back into San’s warmth.
They cuddled for a few more minutes, San giving soft kisses and sniffs to Wooyoung’s hair, making the younger chest bloom with so much warmth and fondness he wished he could stay like that forever. But unfortunately for him, he had invited his friends over and knowing them, Yeosang and Hongjoong would barge in unannounced anytime and Wooyoung would never hear the end of it if he was caught in the act.
It was past 10 in the morning when they finally rolled out of bed.
San stole one of his sweats before rushing to the bedroom taking first dibs on the shower and Wooyoung rolled his eyes, paddling to the kitchen to look for something to eat.
Their friends said they would arrive at noon, but better safe than sorry with that bunch, Wooyoung thought while preparing the pancakes batter. When San got out of the shower, smelling comfortably like Wooyoung’s soap, he sat on the kitchen table and hogged one of the pancakes Wooyoung put on the plate to cool down.
“What are we gonna do today, love?” San asked after swallowing a big bite. “This is so good, argh” He added, chewing on another piece.
“When the boys come here we just do whatever, so I don’t know. They’re pretty much family so I don’t feel like I need to entertain them, you know? But your friends are coming too so I want to make a good impression” Wooyoung said while finishing the last pancake and slapping at San’s hands when he tried to grab if from the pan. “It’s hot, dumbass”
San pouted before stealing it anyways. “You don’t have to. I mean, they’re already a part of your fan club, anyways” San said rolling his eyes and Wooyoung smiled.
“And where did that came from, by the way?” He said, sitting on San’s lap and biting at the pancake he has holding, making the player’s eyes follow his movements. “I mean, I haven’t really interacted with them before. I can understand Jongho, he’s always around because of Yeosang and I can almost say we’re friends” Wooyoung said, munching the last remaining of his food. “But I don’t know Seonghwa or Yunho that well”
“Well, I don’t know about Yunho, I think he’s just a dude, you know? He’s friends with everyone and I don’t why it’d be different with you, especially after you set him up with Mingi once and for all” San said, adjusting Wooyoung on top of him so he could press his nose on his nape. “But Seonghwa had been Team Wooyoung since day one” He said and Wooyoung could hear the smile on his voice.
“You think it has something to do with Hongjoong?” Wooyoung asked.
His friend was yet to come clean about that but it was pretty obvious for him now. Wooyoung was suddenly puzzled with how things took a turn in just one month. Yeosang and Jongho he had seen it coming, he wouldn’t lie. But Hongjoong with Seonghwa? That was not something he would have predicted if his life depended on it.
Just like he was completely aloof to San before knowing him for real, the same could be said about Wooyoung and every other member of the football team. But he knew Seonghwa, of course, everyone did. He was tall, lean, sun kissed and extremely beautiful. He was a completely different person in and out of the field. One would never look at him and say he was an athlete. With his shimmering clothes and glossy lips he could pass for a model easily if he wished to. There were times Wooyoung caught himself staring way too long at him when given the chance. Seonghwa was probably the most authentic person he had ever seen after Hongjoong and, thinking about it now, it only made sense for those two to end up together in any way.
“Maybe?” San answered his question, plucking him out of his own mind. “I mean, of course Hongjoong must talk about you a lot, but I’m pretty sure he’s not the only reason” San said and something about his voice shifted, his arms wrapping tightly around Wooyoung’s middle.
“Why’s that?” Wooyoung asked, trying to turn around but San locked him in place, intertwining their legs.
“I don’t know, is just that… I guess Seonghwa could see just how happy you make me even before I could” San said almost in a whisper, as if he was embarrassed. Wooyoung smiled and wrapped his arms around San’s own on his waist. “Every time something happened between us I searched him to vent and I guess he could see that I was more confused than annoyed. Seonghwa is really special, you know? He just knows how to tend to people, say what they need when they need it. He’s not particularly careful with his words sometimes but I think that’s what makes a difference; he’s blunt but he’s never hurtful” San said and he sounded a bit lost in his thoughts. Wooyoung just held tightly onto him.
Wooyoung was delighted to have more insight on San’s friends. He’s aware of just how important they are for him and he wasn’t about to make things even more difficult for the player by not having a good relationship with them. Seonghwa seemed like San’s greatest source of emotional support and he was dying to get to know more the person who stole both San’s and Hongjoong’s heart.
They sat like that until San’s legs started to cramp and he softly tumbled Wooyoung down to the kitchen floor, just to lay on top of him, peppering his face with butterfly kisses. Wooyoung laughed and laced his fingers around the player’s waist.
“Are you always that affectionate?” Wooyoung asked, a love struck smile on his face as he rubbed their noses together.
San stopped on his motions and sat back on Wooyoung’s thighs, looking at him in a thoughtful manner before saying “I don’t know?” Wooyoung frowned but waited for him to conclude. “Arin was my first proper relationship and I’ve never been the one to have casual affairs. She’s pretty much the only experience I have when it comes to this but I’ve never been like that with her”
Wooyoung felt a pang of something on his chest that he had no idea how to name. He had his fair share of conquests and affairs and everyone who knew him was aware of the cuddle monster he could be around people he liked and with his partners in particular, he could be extremely explicit. But something at the back of his mind say he should easy San onto that relationship, even if the player seemed completely at ease with it. But moments like that made it made sense; San was a baby chicken, unmarred and innocent to a world Wooyoung knew too much about. He suddenly felt like protecting the player from everyone, including himself.
“You don’t like it?” San asked with a pout and Wooyoung’s eyes widened.
“What? No! I love it, Sannie” Wooyoung said before sitting up to wrap his arms in a proper hug around the player. “I really do! I just… I don’t know, I think it’s just that I wasn’t expecting it from you, you know?” Wooyoung said, a bit ashamed of putting in words just how many stereotypes he had of San in his mind. The player looked at him inquisitively and Wooyoung sighed. “I’ve always thought about you as the big, bad wolf, you know? Like, too good to give a fuck to anything and anyone aside from your little group and real a macho man” Wooyoung explained, a bit embarrassed and heard San snorting.
“I can be a big bad wolf if you want, I won’t oppose to it” San said, moving his eyebrows suggestively and Wooyoung rolled his eyes, slapping his arm and getting.
“I like my cuddly baby San better, thank you” He sassed and went out of the kitchen, hearing a grumbled I’m not a baby! coming from the kitchen.
-
Giving what Wooyoung had heard about San’s friends and what he knew of his own, and also that fact that everyone seemed to be in a relationship with each other somehow, Wooyoung was sure the day would run smoothly and everyone was about to have fun and enjoy each other’s presence.
That was not the case.
Yeosang was the first one to arrive and ringed Wooyoung doorbell pretending he didn’t walk in with his own key every time he wanted because he didn’t want to “see anything his eyes would need to be bleached off” in his own words.
It was a weird atmosphere with just the three of them, Wooyoung thought. San had made it clear that his friends were completely okay with Wooyoung’s presence but the same couldn’t be said about his own; Yeosang and Hongjoong were still a bit wary of San, even when Wooyoung had grown tired of saying that there was nothing there to worry about: San was as harmful as a newborn.
Yeosang was a closed person on itself and he wasn’t exactly comfortable being around the couple, as San seemed to be afraid of him. Wooyoung was rolling his eyes at him every time he made a suggestive joke or tried to jab at San to make him uncomfortable just to be an ass. But that didn’t last long, thank God, since Jongho and Seonghwa arrived barely twenty minutes later, making the mood less sulky inside the apartment.
It was Wooyoung’s turn to be nervous, having Seonghwa in all his glory sitting on his battered couch. The tall player on sitting cross legged, his presence so imposing that he felt out of place inside his own home. But that didn’t last long, though. Seonghwa had brought a cake and asked Wooyoung to help him put it on the fridge. Wooyoung eyed San with something akin to panic in his eyes before direction Seonghwa to his small kitchen. He was silently praying for Hongjoong to arrive soon.
But the tension dissipate fairly quickly when he learned that as much as his presence was a feature of its own, Seonghwa’s a sweetheart.
Putting the cake away, the player commented on how cute his apartment looked from what he could see and how it suited the image he had of Wooyoung in his mind. The player kept looking at him with a fond, almost longing smile and, even though Wooyoung could not understand exactly what that meant, it was pretty easy to feel embraced by him like San said. Seonghwa seemed like the embodiment of a safe space.
The rest of their friends arrived together, Yunho and Mingi coming in making a ruckus and Hongjoong behind them, smaller than he already was beside the two giants, looking annoyed.
When everyone huddled together, Wooyoung was expecting that they would sit around and talk before settling on a movie or something equally fitting for a space with disgustingly in love people.
But Mingi and Yunho seemed o have other plans as they brought the friendship ruining game to the table. By the third round of Uno, people were being held back as the Uno reverse card kept being brought on the table.
Wooyoung should have expected that, of course. There was not one motherfucker in that room that was not a competitive asshole. And that was not even the problem. It started to get ugly when they thought it was a good idea to bet.
San lost a pair of sneakers, Seonghwa lost the earring he was wearing to Yeosang who took them from him and dangled on his ear like he had own a war, Yunho bet a kiss to Mingi and seemed to lose on purpose. Wooyoung himself won a cute red beret from Hongjoong that he was begging to borrow for weeks.
All in all, it was a good bonding experience.
Wooyoung hoped for them to get to know each other as normal people would, but that seemed to work just as good. Giving how everyone was treating each other as they had been friends for their entire lives – Hongjoong had even given San a pat on the once, and Wooyoung stored for later how delighted the player had been at the action.
Once they all got tired of screaming and trying to bite each other’s throats – and because it was late and Wooyoung would do well without a noise complaint – they settled to watch a movie. Of course another petty fight issued to choose which one to watch until they settled in a good horror movie. San was definitely now a fan but Wooyoung promised to held him through all the jumpscares.
They were spread around the room. Hongjoong and Seonghwa were sitting on the ground beneath Wooyoung and San who took the love seat, huddling close together. The remaining four found their way around the couch and everyone seemed be pretty comfortable with their snacks and drinks, paying attention to the film.
Halfway around the movie, Wooyoung noticed Seonghwa grabbing his phone. Wooyoung was not nosy person, but it was an almost automatic reaction to look at the screen when the player unlocked it. And he felt like a bucked of cold water washed through him.
It seemed like, in the middle of their game, Seonghwa had recorded and posted them in his instagram stories. Everyone could be seen and thank God his friend had a lot of sense on him, no one was in a compromising situation given how San and Wooyoung’s relationship could be out in the open yet. They seemed like a bunch of friends having fun on a Sunday night.
And that, exactly, seemed to be the problem. How did that particular group of people came together? That’s what Wooyoung understood when Seonghwa opened his DM’s and people had responded to his story with a bunch of question marks or wide eyes emojis. That was not a combination people were used to see and apparently they were not afraid of letting them know. Someone in particular caught Wooyoung’s attention as Seonghwa kept going through his messages without opening any.
Hyung, since when do you hang out with those nerds??? Their fa…
He couldn’t read the rest and Seonghwa ignored this one as well as he locked his phone and snuggled closer to Hongjoong as if to erase every little inconvenience he had seen. Wooyoung took a deep breath and also shifted closer to the one beside him, making San wrap his hands tightly around him when he felt Wooyoung tensing.
“What?” The player whispered but Wooyoung only shook his head, giving him a smile that he hoped it was convincing enough, turning his attention back to the screen.
The movie ended and everyone left around midnight. San told him early in the morning he had to leave as well, since the team would start practicing earlier. But everyone left and San stayed behind, closing the door with a smile when Jongho said his goodbyes at last.
Wooyoung plopped down on the couch and San straddled him with crease on his forehead, lips jutting out in a pout.
“What happened earlier?” He asked without beating around the bush.
Wooyoung sighed but decided to tell him once since he was pretty sure people would be talking about their little get together to him anyways.
“Seonghwa posted us on his stories” He said and San nodded, saying he had seen the post. “And people were talking shit on his DM’s”
“We shouldn’t care about this, baby” San said and laced his fingers on Wooyoung’s hair.
“I know but…” Wooyoung sighed again, frustrated. “How every little thing is a problem for them? Like… why can’t we be friends, all of us?” He said, hands sneaking under San’s shirt because apparently, the feel of him on Wooyoung’s skin gave him comfort. “People don’t even know us and they already go around saying we don’t, what? Deserve your friendship?
San sighed, looking just as upset about as Wooyoung was. “I know it sucks, but they’re not important, okay?” San said, resting their forehead together. “We had such a great time all together, we can’t let those comments get in the middle of it”
“I know” Wooyoung said, nuzzling into San’s face like a cat. “But I don’t want people pestering you guys because of it. You’re already sick and tired because of your breakup, I don’t want another thing piling up” Wooyoung said and San grabbed him by the chin, making their eyes meet.
“Everyone knows you’ve been tutoring me, Wooyoungie. If someone asks, we all became friends because of it. But it’s not their business, anyways. And I’m pretty sure Seonghwa won’t have any of it; the first one who talks shit to him he’s going to bite back” San said, smug.
Wooyoung was not entirely convinced, though. For him, the best course of action was to avoid each other in public, but that could be his trauma and fear of judgment speaking.
“You don’t have to worry about anything, ok?” San said, almost sensing his fears. “We won’t let anyone to meddle in who we should be friends with or not. And I promise I’ve got your back, no matter what” San said and Wooyoung smiled, leaning in to give him a kiss.
It was different now, of course. He could be as afraid as always, but he was not alone, now more than ever.
San kissed every part of his body a pleasurable goodbye before going on his way.
-
The week passed by in a blink of an eye and it was already Wednesday again. Wooyoung didn’t manage to see San in the past couple of days and his friends told him the same, the football team was as busy as ever and could barely spare the moment to breathe.
They texted every possible minute San was available, though. It wasn’t long because San pretty much passed out after going home and in between classes and practices they could only sneak around so much to look at the funny pictures, silly emojis and encouraging words they sent each other.
Wooyoung discovered – and his heart almost couldn’t handle – that San liked to send cute texts; with hearts, cute face emojis and all that. He also developed a habit of sending Wooyoung selfies. It could be the silliest little picture that showed only his eyebrows, or one of him sweating with only a towel around his neck and sweatpants on his body, dripping in front of the mirror. Wooyoung’s heart skipped a bit at every single one of them.
He was reading another one of San’s silly texts warning him about the coach finally releasing him, only because he needed to go his tutoring session, when someone sat beside him at the library. Wooyoung looked up from his phone and saw Arin smiling at him.
He felt his face flushing all of a sudden, not exactly intimidated by her presence, but feeling somehow ashamed, even if he knew he had no reason to.
“Hi” She said with a soft smile and Wooyoung bowed his head in acknowledgement, saying a shy hi back to her. “I hope I’m not bothering, I saw you sitting here and realized we’ve never properly talk after everything happened”
Wooyoung nodded and turned his body towards her, signalizing she had his full attention. He was not exactly ready for this moment; he knew sooner or later they were bound to meet, San had made pretty clear that Arin was someone special to him and Wooyoung was devoted to have a good relationship with his loved ones. So Arin was part of the picture.
And Wooyoung was okay with that. It was not like he had a reason to not like her; Arin had always been the sweetest bean and Wooyoung took a like on her even before crossing paths. And she was not the villain, on the contrary. Wooyoung had nothing to fear with Arin’s presence because it would only add to his relationship knowing everything had ended in good terms regarding San and Arin’s relationship. Their past was not a threat to Wooyoung and Arin was making sure that was crystal clear.
“I didn’t know if I should approach you or not” Wooyoung confessed. “San said how things happened and I’m glad you guys could talk it out in good terms but, I don’t know where I fit in your picture, so I rather keep my distance than upsetting you even more”
“You’ve never upset me, really” Arin said with a snort. “San was the insufferable one if what he told me was correct” Wooyoung laughed this time, the atmosphere becoming lighter. “I just wanted to see how you were doing, actually. San is my best friend so I need to know if you’re taking good care of him” She said teasingly.
“Sometimes it feels like I’m his sitter rather than his boyfriend, but we’re doing good” Wooyoung said with a smile that Arin reciprocated.
“Well, good luck with that, it only gets worse” She said before putting on a more serious expression. “San can look intimidating with that whole team captain aura, but he’s not. San’s a sweetheart, he’s the selfless person you’ll ever meet. So please take good care of him. And I’m not saying this to be patronizing or anything, i really just want what’s best for him” She said and Wooyoung nodded.
He had seen that, actually. How San put up his superman cape sometimes when he needed and how he looked so fragile after stepping out of it. Wooyoung was glad San trusted him enough to let him witness both those sides.
“I’m glad he found you, you know?” Arin said with a sigh. “San is that kind of person who deserves an epic romance because he has so much love to give! Sometimes when we were together I just watched him waiting for something, you know? Maybe a signal that we were doing it right, that we were giving each other everything we deserved. But I’ve never got that; I’ve never seen the spark between us that he has just talking about you” She said with a fond smile and eyes far away, reminiscing. “I’m really happy that you’ve managed to make him forget a bit about everything else and focus on his own happiness. San is always, always, trying to please the people around and forgetting about his own self. And seeing him giggling to his phone, and trying to be sneaky with the biggest heart eyes on his face is refreshing. So, thanks for that”
Wooyoung was speechless, honestly. He had seen firsthand how sweet San could be, how easy it was to be with him and be loved by him. And hearing that from Arin just made it feel righter.
“I was scared at first, you know? Because that’s a huge leap; from everything that he is, the way everyone looks at him and perceives him. From you…” Wooyoung said feeling a bit overwhelmed. “To put all of that in check to come to me… It felt wrong at the beginning. Like I was ruining everything for him, like I was making him choose between right or wrong” Wooyoung sighed. “But there is no right way to do this, right? There’s no way to predicted how’s it gonna be for us, if he made the right choice. I just hope that when it comes to it, he won’t regret meeting me”
“Well, only time will tell” Arin said, picking up her bag and standing with a smile. “But I’m pretty sure he would do it all over again”
-
San arrived just a couple of minutes after Arin left.
It had only been a couple of days but Wooyoung was sure San managed to grow cuter with his absence. The player was sporting wet hair falling on his eyes, big and broad as ever, but looking so tired that Wooyoung just wanted to wrap him up in a burrito in take him home.
“Hi, beautiful” San said, giving Wooyoung a small kiss on the forehead.
“How are you feeling?” Wooyoung asked when San sat down and softly banged his head on the table.
“Too tired to think of anything else that’s not you” San mumbled and Wooyoung smiled.
“Well, glad I’m all yours for the next hour, then”
San smiled through the pain for the next sixty minutes. He complied with all of Wooyoung’s requests, what made the boy happy. He knew it was not easy for him, probably with a massive headache after the heavy training to handle another long hour of useless topics.
After what felt like forever, both of them groaned while closing their books.
“Just two more days” Wooyoung said, trying to cheer him up.
“Thank God!” San said while stretching. “I promise I’ll pay attention to all of my classes from now on” He joked and Wooyoung was looking at him so fondly he may melt.
“Good. It’s exhausting to teach you” Wooyoung said and San scoffed.
“That’s because you want to kiss me half of the time”
Wooyoung laughed and they both packed their things before walking out of the campus together.
“Wanna come over?” Wooyoung asked while stopping in front of him at the bus stop. Seeing no one else around, Wooyoung leaned into his space, softly bumping their foreheads together.
“It’s better if I don’t” He said with a pout. “I have to leave really early in the morning, I don’t want to bother you” San sneaked an arm around Wooyoung’s middle, bringing him close enough for a quick peck when his bus appeared on the distance.
“Ok, I’ll see you tomorrow then”
-
Thursday was, for a lack of better word, a pain.
Wooyoung hadn’t spoke to San all day, didn’t get to see his friends who were away doing their own thing and resorted to pout the day away until the time for class rolled around.
San arrived five minutes later, still in his uniform and Wooyoung frowned as he sat down.
“Sorry baby, I have to go back to practice right after this” San said while catching his breath.
“Are you sure that’s not too much?” Wooyoung asked and sounded worried. “By the time of the actual game you’re going to be exhausted”
“It’s not as bad as it looks” He answered while lacing both their finger together on the table, seeing no one else was around. “We’ll have the day off tomorrow to recharge and the game is only Saturday night so we’ll have enough time to rest. Besides, our bodies are used to it”
Wooyoung didn’t seem convinced but decided to let go to focus on the task at hand. There was nothing new for San to learn so they just made a big recap of everything for the hour, trying to extinguish any doubts that may be left. Wooyoung was confident he would do a good job.
San couldn’t stay much after they finished and Wooyoung was already missing him when he went out the door.
But Friday finally came around and Wooyoung’s nightmare would be over.
Everyone seemed to be happy today. Yeosang and Hongjoong were just as excited as he was, talking animatedly about finals and plans for the weekend and everything Wooyoung could not think about because San was walking right up to him, his friends flanking his sides while holding their own food. His eyes were as big as saucers when they made themselves comfortable at their tables, making every pair of neighboring eyes fall on them.
They were all sporting friendly smiles but Wooyoung tensed when San sat beside him, sneaking a hand on his thigh.
“What are you doing?” Wooyoung whispered while trying to school his face.
Their table was full with the new arrivals, Seonghwa and Jongho making space in between their respective boyfriends(?) and Yunho made himself comfortable at the edge of the table.
“Having lunch with my friends?” San said and his smile resemble one of a kid who knew they were doing wrong but were cute enough to get away with it.
“Really?” Wooyoung scoffed and San arched his eyebrows at him.
“Do you want me to go?” San asked with a knowing look.
“No” Wooyoung whined with a frown and found his hand underneath the table to hold it close to him.
They talked animatedly during the whole lunch break, ignoring the curious set of eyes that would launch inquisitive looks at them every now and then.
“You guys ready for your big night?” Yeosang asked while feeding a fry to Jongho.
“We’re used to it, I guess” Jongho answered and San hummed in agreement beside Wooyoung.
That was new territory for him, actually. Wooyoung had zero to no knowledge of the football team and its achievements so he decided to sit this conversation out, only nodding to a comment every now and then. He could feel San side eyeing him with a smile while still engaging in the conversation but decided to ignore it.
“Where’s it gonna be the after party?” Yeosang asked again and Yunho smiled a huge smile at that.
“Mingi’s throwing it” He said, face lightning.
“Of course he is” Jongho mumbled making Yeosang pinch his sides.
“What if you guys lose?” Hongjoong asked innocently enough but with big, fearful eyes making them chuckle.
“Then we lost it” Seonghwa said before giving him a peck, Wooyoung looked around as in a reflex before relaxing, still ignoring San’s eyes on him. “I’m going to celebrate anyways” Seonghwa continued.
“But we won’t lose it” San said confidently.
“Of course you won’t” Wooyoung mumbled a bit under his breath. “You’re gonna play” He said with a pout. San was gonna ace his exams and ace the game because that’s what they worked hard for. No one was going to lose anything.
A few laughing complaints were raised, San’s friends throwing fries at Wooyoung.
“Wow, thank you for downgrading us, Wooyoungie” Seonghwa said with a faux hurt expression and Wooyoung rolled his eyes with a smirk.
He was still feeling San’s eyes on him, making him anxious, the hairs on his skin standing from the raw energy that was having such an intense gaze on him. He didn’t dare look back, not with so many witnesses around to see just how much love would be dripping from his own eyes at the sight of him.
But San did not force him to look back, to acknowledge his presence or anything. He just captured Wooyoung’s hands on his again, and stayed like that until they had to go on their separate ways.
San lagged behind until they were both alone.
“I’m going to take the exam now” He said, holding both Wooyoung’s hand and bringing their bodies close. Wooyoung wanted to freak out and looked around to make sure no one was seeing them, not now when the game was so close and everything San didn’t need was another set of idiots thinking he owned them explanations, but San was looking at him so softly that Wooyoung indulged in his gaze, worrying his bottom lips between his teeth.
“Already?” He said.
“Yeah” San sighed, looking at his lips with a defeated look. He wanted to kiss him so bad. “But don’t worry, you did an excellent job with me”
“I did” Wooyoung said, trying to sound as confident as he felt.
Wooyoung tried not to get lost on him, not to let San envelop him a tight hug in the middle of campus where anyone could pass by and see them, but he couldn’t fight it. San looked so warm, so inviting. He could wrap himself up on him and stay forever if he wished to. The player gave him one last tight squeeze before letting him go with a sigh.
“Go get ‘em tiger” Wooyoung said, making a pumping fist with his hands and was rewarded with a beautiful laugh.
“Our mascot is a Jaguar” The player said and Wooyoung gave en embarrassed laugh before scurrying away from him, leaving a laughing San behind.
-
It was hours later when he heard from San again. The sun was setting and he was alone by the bench because apparently everyone else had better things to do then wait with him when San appeared waving a paper in his hands and a smug smile on his face.
“I did it!” The player said when he was close enough and his smile was so bright that everywhere around him shone.
“You did it?” Wooyoung got up with an excited smile of his own.
“I did!”
Wooyoung couldn’t help the excited squeak that left his throat when ran at the player’s direction and jumped on his expecting arms, locking his legs on San’s waist as the player spun them around. Wooyoung was laughing so freely for the first time in years that the sound was foreign to his own ears.
San stopped and, still securing him in his arms, tilted his head up to look at Wooyoung. The smaller boy let his head fall down to press their foreheads together, both breathing the same air. Everything else was a blur and San was the only real thing in the world right now.
When the player tilted his chin up to try and kiss him, Wooyoung looked around for the nth time that day.
“San” He whispered.
“I don’t think I care anymore” The player whispered back and Wooyoung scrambled out of his lap.
“Let’s not think about this right now, okay?” Wooyoung said, stepping closer to be within his arms again. “You have an important day tomorrow, focus on that”
“Can I go home with you?” San asked and Wooyoung would never in a million years deny them both of that. So he nodded and, hand in hand they left the empty campus.
They were lovey dovey the whole way to Wooyoung’s apartment and did not stop once they arrived.
Wooyoung barely managed to close the door, with San wrapped behind him, nosing and kissing at his neck, making Wooyoung’s hand tremble around the key. He let himself be guided to his room, San being familiar with his apartment causing a knot to grow on his stomach. When they arrived at his bedroom door and it was closed, San pressed him against it and ground his hips on Wooyoung’s behind, making the smaller feel him and all of his arousal.
“Let me have you, hm?” San whispered sensually on his ear and Wooyoung’s knees buckled.
Panting a breath against the door, his body was being crushed against it by San’s bigger one making him feel so weak and protected that a gush of his own arousal leaked out of him.
But he was probably a masochist in another life, since Wooyoung found enough strength on him to push San back and open the door, putting some distance between them. The player looked at him like a lost kitten, hands fidgeting in front of him since Wooyoung wasn’t there for him to hold anymore.
“As much as I would love have you in me all night long” Wooyoung said watching as San’s eyes doubled in size and his breath hitch. He came close enough that the player could hold him again. “I think they need you in one piece tomorrow” He said.
“I can play through a sleepless night if I have to” San said, an edge of desperation on his voice.
Wooyoung laughed in a teasing manner and the player dropped his head on his shoulder with a whine.
“C’mon, you already did so good today” Wooyoung said with a calming voice, rather different from his rapidly beating heart. His hands found San’s nape and buried the player’s face onto him even more, turning his head around enough so he could whisper in his ear. “Keep on making me proud tomorrow and I may give the winner a special ride”
San moaned on his skin and his hips grounded onto Wooyoung’s thigh in a stuttered manner, almost as if it was an involuntary reaction. Taking pity on him, Wooyoung stroke his nape with so much affection he felt suffocated.
“Shh…It’s okay” He said, and San hugged him closer, almost shrinking on himself to make them fit at every part. “You want to let go? You can let go” Wooyoung urged him on, a hand traveling down from San’s nape to his hips, bringing him closer and the player held him by the sides, slotting his lower body against his.
“They’ve been keeping you on edge for so long, haven’t they?” Wooyoung said, letting a hand sneak inside San’s shirt, scratching at his hips, encouraging the boy to move them.
He did, shyly at first, but Wooyoung encouraged him, whispering to him that he was doing good, that he could let go, and San grew more confident, more desperate as he rocked his body against Wooyoung’s firm thigh, the hand he had on the boy’s hips steading him when San grew closer to snap.
“You’ve been so tired I bet you didn’t have time to take care of yourself, did you?” He said, caressing San’s nape. He tried to steady his body as much as he could with the players help, letting him enjoy his moment. San moaned and Wooyoung felt the sound going straight to his own straining dick.
But that was about San and his pleasure. Wooyoung was not focusing on how the player using him to his own satisfaction was sending tingles through his spine and make him harder than he ever had before. Not at all.
Wooyoung walked San back until his back reached the wall when he felt the player’s knees buckling under him. Using the support behind him, San kept on rutting against Wooyoung, who was holding onto him to feel every wave of his body, his own eyes rolling to the back of his head at the sight of San unraveling against him.
The player was panting hard, his body trembling where Wooyoung could reach, not knowing if he sucked a bruise on Wooyoung’s shoulder or kissed his neck like his life depended on it. Wooyoung could not complain at whatever was his choice.
San was so into it, so turned on that even through two layers of clothes, Wooyoung could feel the dampness of him seeping through and wetting his own skin. That knowledge made a shiver run down his spine, a jolt of warmth course through him, ending on a loud, broken moan leaving his throat. When he heard it, San finally toppled over the edge, gripping Wooyoung so hard by the hips that a bruise would be found there in the morning. The player stuttered and shook in front of him, Wooyoung holding him through it all, whispering sweet nothings to his as he came back to himself.
“That was so not fair” San said, voice still trembling as he leaned his back against the wall, expression far away and lopsided smile. Wooyoung smiled with him.
“You were not complaining two seconds ago” He said, reaching to San’s face to leave a long awaited kiss.
They got lost in each other for a while, quenching the thirst for their flavors, the longing for each other’s lips. It was amazing how they had been together for almost the entire week but it had never been close enough. When they finally let go, San still following Wooyoung’s lips where a thin string of saliva united them to steal another peck, the player looked up and down at him, quirking an eyebrow.
“What about you? Come here” He said, grabbing Wooyoung by the hips to flush them together again.
“I’m good” Wooyoung said, avoiding San’s eyes.
“You’re good with not coming at all?” San said, surprised.
“I mean…” Wooyoung shrugged. “I don’t mind waiting”
The lustful gaze that feel upon San’s face was so intense that Wooyoung felt his mouth dry.
“You don’t mind or do you like waiting?” San asked, voice tight and dark.
“I like it” Wooyoung said in such a small voice that he wasn’t sure San had heard.
But he did, by the way he closed his eye and took a deep, deep breath before opening them again and they were so dilated it was almost all pupil.
“Then keep on saving yourself for me tomorrow, beautiful” San said and gave Wooyoung a sensuous, torturous kiss on neck, making him shiver from head to toe. “I’ll make it worth it”
It was well into the night when Wooyoung managed to calm himself down and finally go to sleep.
Notes:
i am so incredibly sorry for how long it took to update this!! life has been in the way and i didn't have the time to write but i think the next one will not take so long, so please bear with meee.
thank you everyone who's reading it, and leavind kudos and bookmarking this story it means the world to me, seriously, you guys are the best!
Chapter 16: 16
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
It was the day.
Wooyoung woke up with the comforting warmth of San’s body wrapped around him and leaned back into it, enjoying the feeling.
They went to sleep last night exhausted from the day’s activities and today would be even more reckless. San had to meet the team in a few hours to go over whatever it is that they discuss in a team meeting so Wooyoung got up, carefully to not wake him up, and made them the easiest breakfast he could come up with, trying to still find San in bed when he finished.
When he went back, a tray in his hand, he let it at the foot of the bed to take a moment and just look.
Wooyoung never really stopped to admire San like this. He was always so worried of not having enough time with, of the people around, thinking about risks and what ifs, that he tends to forget that San is right here
That he will be waking up next to him often, and is going to spend time with him because they can; because they’re together.
He sat next to San and looked down at his sleeping face.
He looks peaceful like this; eyes closed and a peaceful expression, his lips open just a fraction, small puffs of air leaving his mouth. He managed to find a pillow to hug when his body felt Wooyoung’s absence and the boy smiled at that. Seeing him like this, so vulnerable and exposed, Wooyoung could still make a connection to the hype but shy boy San turned out to be in real life. It didn’t really matter the place, or the circumstance, San seemed to always have that innocent aura around him.
Wooyoung couldn’t pretend that they were already on the same page, and knew each other enough to be enough. There’s still so many sides of San that he has to discover, aspects of him that he has to see; and thinking about it, thinking about unraveling him and becoming a part of San and his history made a smile bloom on Wooyoung’s face.
While running a hand through San’s soft hair, letting it run around his face, the perfect slope of his nose and high cheekbone, Wooyoung suddenly remembered his conversation with Arin. How he had called San his boyfriend. They didn’t talk about it but it slipped because he couldn’t think of any other word to call him. Wooyoung would not rush into things or try and put pressure on San to define whatever it is that they have; he agreed to wait and go slowly – even if that’s far from what they’re doing.
Seeing San stir, Wooyoung got up and took the tray he had made, with the pancakes San had liked last time, the jam he had brought with him last week because, accordingly to him, Wooyoung’s tasted like rubber, and an orange juice he had squeezed himself because San had an important day and he couldn’t go around feeding from whatever manufactured shit people put in boxes.
San woke up slowly, making a pouty face that Wooyoung could not help but leave a peck. San made grabby hands at him but Wooyoung only stared fondly as he sat up, hair messy and standing up at every direction to sit against the headboard, half moon eyes barely open but still gazing at him with a soft smile.
Wooyoung put the tray on San’s lap and his smile got bigger, grabbing Wooyoung by the arm to sit against him.
“You made this for me?” San asks, squeezing into Wooyoung’s side to nuzzle at his neck.
“Of course I did. It’s your big night” He says, sniffing San’s hair.
“I wonder what you’ll do if we go to the finals” San said while resurfacing from Wooyoung’s skin and grabbing a pancake.
“Guess you’ll have to win to find out” Wooyoung teased and San squeezed his eyes with a pout.
Taking a sip of his juice and lathering Wooyoung’s faces with kiss because apparently, no one had ever squeezed oranges for him before, San asked. “Talking about winning, what time are you arriving today?”
“Arriving where?” Wooyoung asked with a frown.
“At the game?” San said back with a confused expression.
Oh no. Wooyoung had been so caught up with making San be able to play that game that completely slipped his mind that the player may want him to be there.
“You want me to go?”
San looked flabbergasted for a moment, stuttering out “Do I wan- what? Of course I want you to go!” He sounded hurt and Wooyoung felt embarrassed.
“I’m sorry, Sannie. It didn’t even cross my mind that I should go” He said and sounded so guilty that San was quick to hold him.
“I know that what we have it’s not… ideal? I guess” San said and sounded like he was struggling with finding his words. “And I completely understand if you don’t feel comfortable being there. But it’s a moment I really want to share with you. We both worked really hard for this and I really want to make you proud” He finished and Wooyoung swooned.
Passing his arms around San’s middle and clumsily laying against his naked chest, Wooyoung buried his head on San’s skin, trying to ground himself from the explosion of feelings happening inside of him.
San was a dream. A living, breathing, walking dream. It was so good that in times like this, where he made sure to give Wooyoung a choice, to make him aware of his feelings and how willingly the player was to be there for him; when he showed Wooyoung that there was something there worth a shot, that he wanted to share parts of his life with him. In times like these Wooyoung needed to make sure he wouldn’t disappear.
“I didn’t buy any ticket, though” Wooyoung said, muffled by San’s skin.
With a chuckle so soft that warmed Wooyoung’s whole body, San said. “You’re my personal cheerleader, you don’t need a ticket”
-
That’s how Wooyoung found himself entering the university stadium’s gate, his heart almost dropping to his stomach with the amount of people gathered together there. He was aware of how popular the team and the sport itself were around and how one could go on days talking about the best plays and whatever else happened inside the four lines.
But even though he knew that every weekend there was something big going on in there, Wooyoung had never set foot in the stadium before. So, it was normal that he was a bit lost.
When it was empty, with just the team practicing, it was probably easy to find his way around; but now with so many people going out and about, moving without excusing themselves and just shouldering him at every two steps or so, Wooyoung was irritated and frustrated.
When he finally managed to get past the entrance, the bleachers were even fuller of people. Looking from the distance, Wooyoung could only see a sea of green and black, the university colors, and he smiled thinking that was the closest he would ever get to a slytherin quidditch game.
The buzz on his ear was getting more intense as he approached the space on the bleachers were his friends were waiting for him. Earlier that day, after San left, Hongjoong texted saying the boys had reserved a spot for them as closest to the field as possible since they were not comfortable on staying down on the pitch – Wooyoung would never in a million years watch the game beside the cheerleaders.
While squeezing himself between plastic cups, styrofoam fingers and banners with CHOI SAN #1 <3 written on them, Wooyoung spotted Yeosang waving at him and plopped down beside his friends with a frown on his face.
It was impossible to have a proper conversation with the amount of voices blending together and Wooyoung was not about to scream anything with the people waiting for a little gossip to spread the next minute. So he took the cup that a really pouty Hongjoong offered to him and gulped down the liquid to try and calm himself. It’s been a while since he had been surrounded by so many people and it was a little unsettling. He could feel eyes on him and tried really hard to not get paranoid.
He understood their surprise, given that he had never attended a game before but, at the same time, it was hell to think about every little supposition that could be running through their minds right now.
But all of it was forgotten ten minutes later when the play-by-play commentator voice echoed on the speakers, announcing the beginning of the match.
Wooyoung’s hands were sweating as the players started to make their way into the field and he spotted San from afar, his game face on and the captain’s armband around his biceps.
A hot, dangerous feeling started to grow inside Wooyoung as San set in place to take pictures with his team. Wooyoung had never seen San dressed in his uniform before and there was something incredibly arousing about that, but it was not the time nor the place to go thinking about things like this – last thing he wanted was to get a boner in between all these people.
But he could not take his eyes off of San. He was every parts a leader one could be: serious when talking to the rival team, listening attentively when the referee explained the rules, cheering on his team when they finally got into position and the game started.
And seeing him play was everything Wooyoung never knew he needed. San owned the field, he was completely in his element there. He moved with such precision and speed that sometimes Wooyoung lost him amongst the other players, only spotting him again when the number 10 shined on the spotlights.
Wooyoung was not an expert at football, but he found himself screaming at every play, every foul and kick had him standing from his seat in frustration and fear. With his close to none experience with a football match, Wooyoung was finding everything exhilarating and he went with the crowd at every shout, every impromptu song that he only sang the last lines and the indignation screams.
He had no idea if what he was seeing could be considered a good game but, focusing on San’s face and posture on the field, they were not on their best night.
Wooyoung heaved a sigh when the referee scored a foul to the opposite team five minutes to the end of the first half. They were still tied 0x0 and everyone on the bleachers seemed to hold their breaths as the other team’s forward went in position and kicked the ball right into the goal and scored for his team. A few groans and frustrated whines could be heard but other than that it was completely silent.
Wooyoung focused on finding San again and saw him looking pissed, hands on his waist and shaking his head in what seemed like frustration. Wooyoung felt his heart constricting in his chest at the sight. San had worked really hard and was extremely confident that they would bag that victory.
The referee ended the first half soon after and everyone left the pitch for the half time. Wooyoung had no idea what came over him when he got up, ignoring his friends questioning looks and went down the stairs that led to the field.
There wasn’t any heavy security system for the game so Wooyoung managed to enter the locker rooms fairly easily. He wasn’t sure what he was doing there or what he intended with it, but something inside was just screaming for San; to see him and reassure him somehow.
Wooyoung looked around trying to find the place where the players were. Both teams were using the facility so he was being careful to not be seen – or stumble upon the other team by mistake.
He started to hear a faint buzz of voices coming from the end of the hall and followed it when he managed to distinguish Seonghwa’s amongst them. Wooyoung stopped a few feet before the door, not knowing exactly what to do anymore. Just head inside and ask for San? That was probably silly and wrong. That was his time with his team and Wooyoung had nothing to do there, to meddle at their moment.
Shaking his head at his own stupidity, Wooyoung started to walk back when the team gave a loud shout and started to leave the room one by one. Wooyoung’s eyes grew like saucers when the first player stopped on his tracks seeing him and everyone else bumped into each other. He was like a deer caught in the headlights as his face reddened with the weird looks the boys were giving him.
“Are you lost?” Someone asked and before Wooyoung could stutter a dumb reply, the coach dispersed the boy out of the way and appeared beside them.
“Oh, Jung Wooyoung!” The man said while walking towards him to hold him by the shoulders. “Have you all thanked this boy today?” The coach said and Wooyoung felt himself wanting to disappear with the attention on him. “If not for him, San wouldn’t be able to play today, you know?” He said but did not sounded pleased or even proud. The man was pissed. “And your humiliation would be even bigger! We wouldn’t have one decent forward to go and try to score us something” He roared at them and Wooyoung cowered underneath his heavy palm squeezing his skin.
Luckily for him, San decided to appear right when the touch was becoming too tight. The player looked at him funnily before approaching the coach with a smile.
“Don’t worry coach, we’ll get them on the second half” He said while giving soft pats to the man’s shoulder. With a resigned sigh, the coach let go of Wooyoung and made his way out, the rest of the team following him.
San stayed behind, standing beside Wooyoung until the last player was out of ear shot. With a sigh, the boy reclined on the wall, looking dejected. He was sweaty, grass on his hair and clothes caked with mud from the field; Wooyoung never wanted to have him as much as he does right now.
But that night it was all about San; all about his feelings, his game and his championship. And that was not going well.
Wooyoung crowded him against the wall and made the boy rest his head on his chest. San took the opportunity to hug him closer by the waist, inhaling Wooyoung’s scent while tightening his hold around him.
“Did something happen?” The player asked, voice muffled on Wooyoung’s clothes.
“No, I just wanted to see if you’re okay” Wooyoung said, feeling a bit embarrassed. “I’m sorry if it’s not a good time, I just…” Wooyoung tried to find his words but did not succeed.
“The guys are nervous” San said while reclining on the wall again but lowering his stance to fit Wooyoung in between his legs. The younger’s brain fried a little at the feel of him. “Probably because we lost our last match against them, I guess” He went on and Wooyoung only nodded, hands going to the player’s shoulders and squeezing a bit trying to control his heartbeat.
Wooyoung was feeling equal parts horny and ashamed of himself. That was not the moment to think about sex, it was not the moment to be perceiving San’s body so much, but he couldn’t help it. He could see the outline of his dick as it touched his thighs and he felt his body warming up thinking about San taking him right there, all sweaty and dirty.
“You okay?” The player asked and Wooyoung snapped out of his daze.
“Yeah!” Wooyoung was quick to say but San kept giving him a weird look. “What?”
“Why did you came down here?” San asked, arching one eyebrow.
“To see if you’re okay, I told you” Wooyoung say, squirming a bit between San’s legs when the player held his waist more forcefully.
“That’s the only reason?” San asked once again and Wooyoung tried really, really hard to control himself, but it was a kneejerk reaction when his eyes travelled up and down San’s body, stopping at the flimsy material of his shorts.
Wooyoung felt a bit of his strength leaving him and licked his lips seeing the player’s shy bulge, squeezing San’s shoulders to ground himself.
“Yeah?” He said but it came out breathy and more as a question than anything.
He heard San chuckle and before dragging his hips closer, hands raveling to hold Wooyoung’s as to sloth them close together. The boy whimpered at the pressure and dropped his head on the player’s shoulder.
“I’m so sorry…” Wooyoung said, mind going a bit fuzzy when San squeezed his ass. “I know it’s completely inappropriate and I… f-fuck” Wooyoung stuttered when San teasingly drag a finger on his cleft through his jeans. “I just needed you” Wooyoung exhaled loudly when the player licks a strip on his exposed neck.
“I’m right here, beautiful. I got you” San said and hugged Wooyoung by the waist, letting him rut shyly on his stomach.
Wooyoung was basking on San’s musky, salty scent, using his wide shoulders as support when the warmth on him became too much and his knees wobbled. All the confidence he had last night was gone and he was the one becoming a mess right now.
A shiver went down Wooyoung’s body as San bit his earlobe but just when he was about to beg – for what he wasn’t sure – they got interrupted.
“We need to head back, captain” Said a voice in the distance.
San groaned before pushing Wooyoung’s hips back and straightening himself. The younger boy was still a bit dazed – his blood having run south – but he could identify Yunho as the one who called for San.
When it finally dawned on him what had just happened, Wooyoung gasped in horror. He was dry humping San in the middle of the locker room where anyone could pass by and catch them in the act. He should thank the heavens that Yunho had just shouted from a distance to call for them.
“Relax” San said with a smirk seeing Wooyoung’s horrified face.
“That was so…” Wooyoung started but San cut him.
“Hot?” He asked raising his eyebrows and Wooyoung rolled his eyes while trying to will away his hard on. “C’mon, I really want to win this already to go home and fuck you senseless” Wooyoung gave a pained laugh and followed San out of the room when his problem wasn’t so visible anymore.
He passed by the awaiting players and no one said a word. Seonghwa was the only one looking at him with a knowing face and Wooyoung blushed before charging to his previous seat.
And win they did. The team managed to reverse the score in their favor only a few minutes left to the end of the match. The uproar that happened at the bleachers when San score the winning goal was something that would be imprinted on Wooyoung’s minds for a really long time. He could see the appeal now – or that was just San and his in love brain talking – to a football match. If every single one of them were like this, it was not such a waste of time.
The boys on the field were all hugging and waving at the people supporting them, bowing in gratitude to every single one of them who came. San stopped right in front of where he was sitting as smiled bigger than usual, making finger hearts that left all the girls screaming behind him. Wooyoung only rolled his eyes at him.
It didn’t take long for everyone to go home. Home meaning Mingi’s where the winning party would be held at. Wooyoung did not want to go, but Hongjoong couldn’t care less and dragged him by the elbows until they were passing the front gates.
For a house so big, Wooyoung was seeing too little space. The place was packed; it seems like every person on the city had decided to go there tonight.
Wooyoung was feeling a bit claustrophobic as they bumped into people to get across the house, looking for a less packed place where they could enjoy their drinks in peace. He knew they would be at the dance floor in no time if the drinks kept on coming, but Wooyoung was trying to reign himself. He knew the party was for the team and, even if that wasn’t the case, he would not be able to be with San there in the open. So when Wooyoung spotted him from afar he just gave him a smile and they continued to entertain themselves away from each other.
But he could San’s eyes on him, following him as he gulped down his drink in a hurry as Yeosang dragged him to the dance floor; when he started to teasingly grind on his friends because, why not, right?; Wooyoung kept dancing and San kept on looking, seeming enraptured by every part of him every time their eyes met and not so innocent glances were thrown at each other.
San’s eyes were still on him when Wooyoung’s world shifted a bit and he felt his stomach dropping to his feet when he realized his were not the only ones.
It had been way too long since he had last felt so utterly scared.
Wooyoung stopped dead on his feet in the middle of the dance floor, making a few people bump and give weird looks at him. But he wasn’t focusing on them – not even on Hongjoong calling his name and trying to get his attention. He was focusing on the tall, scarily familiar boy standing across the floor, a cup in his hands while holding a conversation with someone, but his eyes glued at his.
Yeonjun had not changed a bit after all those years. He had grown, of course, and had bulked in size, looking broader now than he was back in high school. But he still had the same boyish face and the slightly terrifying grin Wooyoung remembers like the back of his hand.
And all of that was too close, too suddenly as Yeonjun started to approach him, waving like he was oh so happy to see him after so long and Wooyoung felt his chest tightening.
His fight or fly instinct active without him even realize it and when Wooyoung came back to himself, he was already away from the dance floor, crouching next to the small garden Mingi had. He was alone and shaking like a leaf.
Sitting down on the dirty ground, Wooyoung hugged his knees trying to reign himself. That was not the time or the place to go back on having panic attacks.
He hadn’t had one for years now, but it wouldn’t be a surprise. They did start after Yeonjun did him dirty, oof course seeing him now would be trigger to make it all come back to him.
But Wooyoung knew himself; his body and his mind. He tried really hard to shift his focus away from the lights and the loud music, closing his eyes to try and ground himself.
He was shaking less after a few minutes but it was still hard to breath and the hairs on his nape were standing, almost as if a spider sense was telling him to look out, be careful. Last thing he wanted was to get caught like that.
Wooyoung still had his eyes closed when someone sat down beside him.
The touch on his shoulder felt protective but foreign. Opening his eyes to look at the new arrival, Wooyoung found Seonghwa looking at him with a concerned expression. There was something else on it, but he couldn’t focus right now to try and identify it.
“You okay?” Seonghwa asked him but Wooyoung only sighed and let his head fall with thump on his knees.
They were quiet for a long while, Seonghwa’s hands still resting on his shoulder and Wooyoung was glad that someone was here anchoring him back.
After a few minutes Wooyoung looked at him and Seonghwa gave him what seemed like a sorry smile.
“He’s not here anymore” Seonghwa said and Wooyoung felt squeezed his eyes, looking at him confused.
“How do you…?” He started but Seonghwa got up and offered a hand for him to do the same.
“This is not the place for this conversation. C’mon” Wooyoung clasped the offering hand and got up, brushing his dirty clothes.
He didn’t feel like going back to the party, even though Seonghwa had reassured him that Yeonjun wouldn’t be there. He was more than relieved when Seonghwa led him to the entrance where their friends were waiting, all of them wearing similar confused and worried expressions. San was a bit away from them, reclining on Yunho’s car and his expression was blank. Wooyoung was even more lost when he looked at him and his eyes didn’t held any warmth.
Yeosang was the first to reach him, wrapping him a tight hug.
“I hate you for suffering for a guy that’s not even that pretty” Yeosang whispered in his ear and made Wooyoung laugh for what felt like the first time in forever – even if it had been roughly no longer than an hour.
They all got busy with getting into cars, not really caring about how pictures were snapped of them and would probably start circulating in a few minutes. The eight of them – Mingi had been glued to Wooyoung’s side ever since he heard the name Yeonjun – got into two cars and decided to head for Wooyoung’s apartment.
He was sat at the passenger seat of the car San was driving, Hongjoong and Seonghwa sitting at the back. The silence was so eerie, that Wooyoung decided to close his eyes until they finally arrived, avoiding look at San and see disappointment in his eyes.
Everyone busied themselves with something once they arrived, but Wooyoung went straight to his room, plopping down on the bed and looking at the dark ceiling.
He was trying to empty his mind, focusing on the faint sound of the ceiling fan when the bed dipped beside him and he felt San’s familiar, comforting scent.
Wooyoung felt like crying when San shuffled closer, pulling him to lie on his chest. Wooyoung hugged his waist while listening to his heartbeat and everything else started to disappear.
It was always like that with San. He was the calm and the storm, the happiness and the rage. He could tear Wooyoung apart and build him together with just one look, make him feel like he was made of stardust and if San wished, he would spread Wooyoung around the universe until the winds caught him twirling with no direction and made him whole again. It was a feeling he would never understand completely, but would never get tired of.
“I’m sorry” San whispered and Wooyoung smiled against his chest.
“For what exactly? I’m the one who ruined everyone’s night” Wooyoung said and sighed.
San pulled him closer, burying his nose on his hair and inhaling his scent.
“You never ruin anything” He whispered and Wooyoung felt his eyes watering.
San knew how much meaning those words held and whispered them again and again, until Wooyoung was full on sobbing wrapped around him. The player held him throughout his breakdown, a tender caress on Wooyoung’s hair and a calming rock motion of their bodies making him drowsy and sleepy when the tears finally stopped. But before Wooyoung let dreamland win him over, San nudged him. Both sitting up, San gave him a warm, chaste kiss on the lips while drying a few remaining tears.
“Seonghwa said we need to talk” San whispered and Wooyoung nodded.
Seonghwa did say he had a story to tell. And Wooyoung was curious to hear.
Notes:
you guys did say yeonjun should make an appearence so here we go!
Chapter 17: 17
Notes:
FYI: things go down at this chapter. it's not pretty and since it could be a trigger, please read this before starting.
THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS THE USE OF HOMOPHOBIC SLURS AND PHYSICAL ASSAULT.
If you don't feel comofrtable with reading it, i'll leave a description of what happened at the end notes and you can stop reading when San arrives at the locker room and start reading again at: "San woke up at the infirmary"
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
If Wooyoung had to think of a word to describe Seonghwa right now it would be distressed.
The boy sitting on his love seat – with Hongjoong gently holding his hands as a way to try and calm him down – was looking at one fixed point on the wall when Wooyoung and San entered the room, the rest of their friends already present.
Wooyoung wasn’t familiar with Seonghwa yet, had no chance to get to know the boy well enough to know his habits, but the way his leg was bouncing fast was definitely not usual.
After Wooyoung sat with San beside him, Seonghwa took a deep breath and, looking dismayed, he began to talk.
“I know Yeonjun since we were kids” Seonghwa said and Wooyoung frowned. That was new. “We were neighbors before I moved here for college and he went somewhere else. We used to be friends, actually, before he became somewhat a dick” Seonghwa sighed again, Hongjoong’s hands soothingly caressing his back.
“I stopped talking to him when we were in high school” He continued and this time looked directly at Wooyoung. “Because of what he did to you”
“I knew you were familiar” Mingi said from another couch. “You’re the one who stopped me from beating his ass once”
“Well… yeah” Seonghwa sighed once again. “We were still friends at the time and I had no idea what he had done. But after word got out and he was actually enjoying the gossip I just gave up. He had done some questionable things before, but outing someone against their will, even more so by telling such a lie was low even for him”
Wooyoung couldn’t remember knowing Seonghwa from before and that probably showed on his face.
“We never properly met back then” The older said and Wooyoung nodded. “But he told me about you before shit went down. He was excited, showed me your pictures and everything” Seonghwa seemed far away on his memories. “That’s why I couldn’t believe it at first. But then he came smiling and looking proud telling: “hey, you know what I did?” I slapped him myself that day”
Wooyoung reclined against San’s body, focusing on Seonghwa. “But I was about to leave and we lost touch after that. I came here and, to my surprise, you arrived a year later” He said, looking at Wooyoung with a small smile. “It was good seeing you on both feet again; I had friends back home who told me he had messed you up pretty badly”
Wooyoung smiled bitterly. Yeonjun had done some damage.
“That’s why you were so protective of him” San said, thoughtful.
Seonghwa nodded. “I could see that you did not had bad intentions. But Yeonjun seemed like he didn’t had them as well at first and look what he did. I wasn’t trying to meddle, I’m sorry if it felt like it sometimes, but I knew a bit of what he had been through and no one deserves to go through that twice”
Wooyoung got up from the couch, disentangling himself from San and went to sit at the ground by Seonghwa’s feet, resting his head on the older’s thigh.
“Thanks for looking out for me. Then and now” Wooyoung said, feeling warm.
He had seen something different in Seonghwa’s eyes before. Like every time he saw Wooyoung he was taken back somewhere and now he could understand. Could see where the lectures on San came from and the way he seemed warm and ready to welcome Wooyoung on their little bubble. Seonghwa was a good person.
“I had no idea he would be there. It’s been a few months since I last heard of him and it completely slipped my mind that we would be playing against his university. Sorry I couldn’t tell you in advance” Seonghwa gave him a sad smile while caressing Wooyoung’s hair.
Everyone was quiet after that but Jongho interrupted it with an interesting question.
“I understand where everyone is coming from, what he did was 200% shitty. But it’s been a while, right? And I’m not, in any way, trying to measure your trauma, Wooyoungie, but is it so hard to be around him? I mean, he was just there, right? Minding his own business?” He seemed genuinely confused
Wooyoung could understand him. He had questioned himself on it a few times. What would he do if he were to see him again? How would he react? Did Yeonjun still held power over him?
And the answer to all of those questions came tonight.
Wooyoung freaked out at the sight of him. Yeonjun still meant a lot of pain and shame that he was not comfortable with facing or thinking about.
Yeosang elbowed Jongho in the ribs and Wooyoung laughed.
“Don’t be mean to him, Sangie. I get the question” Wooyoung said and Jongho panicked face softened. “I thought a lot about this. What if he ever showed up again? And I had no idea. How I would act, what should I do. But I guess is because I had no answer until it really happened. And I understood that I’m still not over this. I’ll probably never be completely because he made quite some damage within me. I became a whole different person because of the scars he left behind” Wooyoung sighed.
He felt comfortable around these people. Even Yunho, who he had not much interaction with seemed to be part of his safe space somehow now. And he was happy that, with San, came so many good people.
"Yeonjun is not some kind of monster that everyone should stay away from” Wooyoung said. “If you guys ever happen to meet him, take me into consideration but don’t let all of this cloud your judgment. He may be a different person now, who knows. I’m not sure if I’m ready to see that for myself but…” He shrugged and Seonghwa’s hugged him by the shoulders.
“I’ll try and see what he’s up to, okay? He did made an attempt to reach you today, anyways” Seonghwa said and Wooyoung nodded, sliding further into his embrace.
It didn’t take long for everyone to leave after that. Wooyoung felt bad that he had cut everyone’s night shorter with his problems but was glad they still had time to spend together. The guys played a hard game, they deserve to relax and have fun.
Which leaves him debating what he should do with San.
The player had been quiet; quieter than usual ever since they arrived. Wooyoung knew something was on his mind ever since his eyes landed on him outside of Mingi’s house, but he had no idea if he was brave enough to ask.
Besides, he was feeling bad for raining on San’s night. The boy was having fun at the party, basking on his glory beside his friends, being his usual charming self and enjoying the music, Seonghwa forcing him to dance from time to time… And now they were stuck here, the mood damp and sad for a post victory night.
San was at the kitchen hogging a glass of water when Wooyoung sneaked behind him, hugging the boy by the waist and leaning his head on his back. It was a comfortable position, San being so broad and hard planes everywhere; it made Wooyoung feel safe.
Turning around to wrap his hands around him, San reclined on the kitchen sink and brought Wooyoung to sprawl himself on his chest. The younger looked up at him and San was smiling an almost sad smile that made his heart tighten.
“How are you feeling?” The player asked and Wooyoung inhaled tiredly.
“I don’t know, to be honest” He said with a pout. San start to caress his back, fingers soft but steady. “Probably exhausted. Seeing him took a tool on me” Wooyoung said and felt ashamed. “I thought it would be easier than this but I just panicked and…”
‘Don’t blame yourself” San said when Wooyoung didn’t continue. “It’s only normal to feel scared after everything he put you through”
“I’m sorry for all of this” Wooyoung said, head hanging low. “I never meant to drag you – any of you – into my mess”
“Don’t say that” San said, lifting his chin. “I told you time and time again how much you mean to me, didn’t I?” San asked and Wooyoung nodded. “Whenever it gets too scary I’ll be right, okay? Don’t run away from me again, but run to me” San whispered and gave Wooyoung a kiss.
Suddenly everything he could think about were those lips.
Nothing in the world mattered anymore; there was no more Yeonjun, no more panic attacks, no more fear to be overcome; just San and his touches.
Grabbing Wooyoung by his thighs, the player lifted him up in the air and walked them to the room. Laying Wooyoung down gently and climbing on top of him, San looked him in the eyes, caressing the side of his face before starting to leave kisses all over it. Full of adoration, reassurance and love kisses. San was pretty obvious on what he was trying to say: ‘I’m here, lean on me, we’ll get through this together.’
Wooyoung was incredibly lucky to have him.
Their clothes ended up on the floor in just a few moments, both of them panting on each other’s mouths while their lower bodies touched.
“We don’t have to do anything” San said. “I know today has been a lot, you should get some rest”
Wooyoung was so in love with him it hurts.
“I think I deserve to end my night in a good mood, don’t you?” Wooyoung said, smirking. San only scoffed and leaned right back to capture his lips again.
San made him forget everything when he dived inside him. The feel of him so close, so deep and so strong made Wooyoung feel like he was on cloud nine, every fiber of his body screaming for San and San alone.
It wasn’t hard to make it all about him; San was too much a person to be left behind. Wooyoung’s brain only mustered chants of his name while he canted his hips up to meet San’s thrusts, clawing at his back to feel him deeper, panting on his mouth to feel his warmth.
The player gave everything he had and that wasn’t a surprise. When San loved it was never in halves.
Wooyoung ended the night laying on San’s chest – but he had been on his back, on all fours, legs up or circled around him – feeling the gentleness of the player’s heartbeat after they both calmed down.
“I think you need closure” San said all of a sudden and Wooyoung looked up at him, his chin on San’s chest to have a better view of his face.
“What do you mean?”
“You were young when this happened. Both of you followed your own paths and the story just died down on its own. You never had closure on it. Not with the rumors or what you had with him” San said, looking up at the ceiling.
Wooyoung felt his heart constrict at a passing thought. He had never asked what all of that meant to San. He had been supportive, but what about the other way around? San liked him – was in love with him – so it was probably uncomfortable to see the boy you’re with breaking down over someone else, for whatever reason.
“He means nothing to me, Sannie. You know that, right?” Wooyoung sat up, heart beating faster with an unexplainable fear. San should never doubt just how much love Wooyoung has for him.
“I know, but this is not what I mean, baby. He does mean something, good or bad. And I think for you to let go, you need to cut him off once and for all” San said sitting up as well.
Wooyoung understood that. Yeonjun still had a grip on him and that was obvious after what happened. So, San was right. But for closure he needed to talk to him at least, and he was not sure if that moment would ever come.
“You’re afraid of him, of what he represents. And that’s no way to live” San said, closing their hands together. “I think a lot of what you feel now will be easier to deal with once you finished this chapter of your life for good”
Wooyoung felt tears once again, but it was not from desolation anymore.
“I love you” he said and broke down. “I know it’s probably the shittiest confession and the worst timing ever, but I do love you so fucking much” He sobbed and San hugged with a smile so big it could light up an entire town.
“I love you too” He said on Wooyoung’s hair while the younger hugged his naked waist. “And that’s why I need you to be okay. Not a hundred percent, but better. The rest we can heal together, okay?” Wooyoung nodded and buried himself further into him.
It wasn’t romantic or anything Wooyoung had ever imagined before. But it was real. It was honest and so, so true. He loved San and was loved by him.
That was something no Yeonjun in the world would take away from him.
+
San woke up earlier than Wooyoung, his phone blowing with messages asking just why he disappeared from the party. He ignored them and only answered Arin, who had shoot him a text asking if things were okay.
He told her what he could without opening Wooyoung’s problem and just hoped for the best, She had warned him some people were talking shit about how peculiar was that those eight guys had left at the same time.
San tried not to think about it, it wasn’t even important anymore at this point. If not for fear of making things worse for an already distressed Wooyoung – and probably for Arin too, who he had great respect – he would walk that campus up and down holding Wooyoung’s hand, proudly showing him off.
Because that’s what he deserves: to be appreciated and to be loved without shame.
San was upset with the situation they found themselves in that stopped him from doing just that. From only allowing him to show Wooyoung’s worth behind closed doors for the time being.
San had come to terms with himself quickly than he thought he would. He never had a problem with the possibility of liking a guy – he had a problem with people having a problem with it – but Wooyoung was worth more than whatever shit people threw at them.
But he was fragile. Wooyoung was hurt and easily broken, he could not put him through that same hell. So he went to seek for help.
He left Wooyoung a note that he went home to pick some clothes and would be back by afternoon before going on his way to find Hongjoong and Yeosang.
San was not friends with them yet – he wished to be because what good fellas they seemed to be – and he wasn’t exactly comfortable with being alone with them, so he was glad when Seonghwa offered to tag along. But they had a common goal and that was to make Wooyoung happy.
Seonghwa had already ordered him a coffee when San sat down.
San knew there were things that Wooyoung was still not comfortable with, be it with doing or telling him and sometimes, more so after last night, San felt like he could be walking on eggshells around him. So he needed help to make things bearable for Wooyoung and to avoid any triggers. And nothing better than best friends advices.
“I think they should talk” San said after they exchanged good mornings.
“I do too” Yeosang said but Hongjoong seemed to disagree.
“I think he’s not ready” He said.
“He’ll never be ready. You don’t just forget something like this” Seonghwa said. “He downplays it a lot, but it was difficult for him. People were mean. No one heard of him for weeks because he was afraid of leaving his house”
San felt his throat constricting. He wished hell upon those people. Wooyoung deserved nothing but happiness and peace.
“Was he… physically abused?” He asked, afraid of the answer.
Wooyoung never showed any signs of being afraid of touch. On the contrary, he was always quite eager for it if San could say so. But, if something had happened, San wanted to never do anything that could remind him of it.
“Some guys tried to beat him once” Yeosang said. “But Mingi warned them off”
Song Mingi was quite a figure. San would never believe if people were to tell him he would be connected somehow to all of those guys at once.
“Where this Yeonjun guy lays on the story? What happened to him? People never called his bullshit?” San asked, feeling angered.
“Some people did, yes” Seonghwa said. “But when Wooyoung just closed off people brought the story, you know? He wouldn’t disappear if he wasn’t guilty or something” He rolled his eyes.
“He was ashamed” Hongjoong said and sounded sad. “His parents weren’t even aware and suddenly he was the talk of the town”
San never asked Wooyoung about his parents. He had seen him text his mom a few times, but they never dived deep into that topic. Now that San knew the extent of what happened to him, he wished to have asked sooner. Now he was afraid Wooyoung would feel pressured, or like San was trying to fish things out of him.
“I don’t think we should pressure him into anything” Yeosang said. “It took him a long time and a lot of effort to be where he is now. And he made a big development thanks to you” He looked at San with a smile that he could nothing but reciprocate. “If you told me when I first met him that Wooyoung would be once again comfortable enough on his own skin to love someone I would laugh. But you made him do it. And I’m really thankful for it, San”
The player only nodded because there was nothing he could say. He did nothing but to love him back and it was only the beginning of everything Wooyoung deserves.
“I talked to him about this yesterday” San said, referring to meet Yeonjun. “And I think he’ll warm up to the idea”
“Well, I don’t think we should count on it. But we’ll see” Hongjoong said.
They left the caffe not long after this, everyone with things to do.
San passed by the university to pick a few of his things he had left back at practice. He would take the day off to do some chores since he’s dorm was a mess. He had been spending so much time away – practing, studying and at Wooyoung’s – that it was impossible to remember the last time he had cleaned his place.
When he arrived at the locker room with the familiar smell of sweat gears and young man, San picked his things without hurry. Wooyoung had texted him saying he would sleep a bit more and make them dinner for when he would be back.
Hearing a few voices on the distance, San did not pay a lot of attention until he heard things he wished he didn’t.
“Oh come on! I don’t think is possible” Someone said.
“Why not? You saw the same things I did” Another voice joined.
“San is not gay” The first voice said, sounding confused.
“But he’s fucking that twink, I’m sure of it”
San saw red and crushed something on his hand at the vulgar way they referred his relationship with Wooyoung as.
“It might be contagious” The second voice continued, full of venom. “Jongho is out and proud, is pretty obvious Seonghwa like to take up the ass and now the captain…” The person laughed at his unfunny joke.
“It’s not our business, though” The first one said, sounding uncomfortable.
“I think it’s a plot” The second guy went on. “Jongho is dating that blond fag, and Seonghwa is always around that small one. They’re always together with the tutor, I’m pretty sure they have something on San. That’s why he’s with them now” He said, sounding pretty sure there was some malefic plan going on.
“You’re being delusional, I think” The first guy scoffed.
“Me? You’re delusional if you think someone would go for that nerd willingly” The second guy said and that was the last straw for San who had heard way too much.
He bulled through the doors and pinned the guy on the wall. The voice belonged to Minhyuk and he was the only thing San’s eyes could see.
“The fuck is wrong with you, man?” Minhyuk said in panicked voice as San held him by the collar against the wall.
“Said that again” San said through gritted teeth, seeing red everywhere. “SAY IT” he screamed at the guys face.
“Why are you pissed?” The guy laughed, not looking so afraid anymore. “That’s ‘cause of him? Or you all fucking together?” He spat at the ground and San followed it with his eyes. “Bet they all spread out for you, don’t they captain? Is it tighter than a girl?”
San only heard the crushing sound when it happened. He did not even intended to hit him, but his fist flied out before he could think about. San hit Minhyuk in the nose and the guy fell instantly on the ground, blood seeping out from his injured face.
It was like he had blacked out. One moment he was looking down at Minhyuck and the next the boy was launching himself at him. When San finally came back to himself, he was being restrained by Jongho while his Coach held a battered up Minhyuk. San wasn’t feeling any pain but it was pretty obvious he has bruises of his own, his face already swollen in some places.
He wasn’t hearing anything, seeing anything other the piece of shit in front of him. He was still trashing against Jongho’s strong grip, only stopping when his friend put him to sleep with a chokehold.
San woke up at infirmary, Seonghwa sitting in one chair with Jongho and Yunho on the couch and their coach talking on the phone at the door.
He called their attentions when he sat up, groaning when his head throbbed.
“How you feeling?” Seonghwa asked, putting a hand on his back to steady him.
“Like shit” San said, holding his head on his hands.
“You’re awake, great” The coach approached with a hard face. “What the hell is wrong with you?” He didn’t scream but it was even worse if he had done. Coach was disappointed. Not at the player, but at the person.”You’re supposed to lead those guys, San! To set the example! You don’t go around beating the shit out of them”
San knew he had done a number on Minhyuk, but he wasn’t even close of being sorry.
“They want to press charges on you” Coach said and San whipped his head up, giving himself whiplash. His friends were all looking at the ground, almost as if they already knew about it. “You’re going to respond criminally and lose your scholarship, San”
If the world was ending, it probably wouldn’t hurt as bad.
“They can’t do this” He said desperate, feeling his hands ball in fists.
“They can and they will!” Coach said, angered. “You almost broke all the bones on his fucking face, San!” He screamed this time.
“He deserved it!” San screamed back.
Seonghwa held him tightly by his shirt, trying to calm him down.
“No one deserves violence, San. You should know that better than anyone, you’re a fighter”
San only sighed in despair, feeling his friends all touching him somehow to try and calm him down.
“What was the reason for that, San?” Coach said, trying to calm himself too. “You never had any problems with him, what started this?”
San looked at his friends. Talking about what happened with Minhyuk would mean expose all of them somehow and he wasn’t even aware they knew what had happened themselves.
“You’re not gonna tell me? Then I can’t help you” Coach sighed and with a sad, almost pained voice, he said. “You’re off my team, San”
Notes:
for those who didn't read the locker room scene, San goes in to pick his things he left after the game and hears one of his teammates talking about him, Wooyoung and their friends and is using homophibic slurs to refair to them. They get into a fight.
Chapter 18: 18
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Wooyoung spent the whole day lying on his bed.
He had woken up to San’s absence but his heart was light. They were good, great even. So, San’s sweet message to him warmed his heart and allowed himself to enjoy a whole day of nothing.
Sundays did not used to be lazy days for him.
He always had something to do, be it with classes or scheduled visits to his parents. But ever since San, his carefully planned daily routine had been messed up.
It started with the classes, then him thinking about San during the time he should be focusing on his studies. But he wasn’t upset. Wooyoung was still much his own person, he knew his priorities and would never neglected himself and the future he wanted so much because of a boyfriend – even if that boyfriend was Choi San.
But yesterday had been a lot.
Seeing Yeonjun was a shock and he was still trying to get back from it. There was no planned scenario in his head where this happened so he had no north to follow. It still hurt, he was still afraid of whatever it was that Yeonjun represented – be it his own insecurities, his trauma or shame – but the aftermath was not so scary anymore.
When Yeonjun first happened, Wooyoung was alone.
He had friends back in high school, but no one to stick to thick and thin. When shit hit the fan, Mingi was one of the only people who stayed beside him and even then, they were not that kind of friends; it was a silent support system, from a distance – and with fists, apparently, with what Wooyoung heard last night.
But no one was a shoulder to cry on, a warm embrace to hide into. So of course it took something out of him; it took his self esteem for a really long time, took his spontaneity and his carefree aura. It made him paranoid, an over achiever and observant. It made him afraid and a bit of a coward.
But now he had that, all of that. And it came in pairs. Hongjoong and Seonghwa, Yeosang and Jongho, Mingi and Yunho. Him and San.
He had all the support he needed to go through Yeonjun again without breaking this time, without putting up another wall to cower behind. Now he had people to help him face it head on, with his nose high in the air because he was aware of just how much he deserved. The happiness, the love, the appreciation; he deserved everything that Yeonjun made him believe unworthy of.
And San was just the tip of the iceberg.
He was helping Wooyoung with more than just understand what love was. Real love this time, not the infatuation he felt towards Yeonjun back in the days – he loved San, whole and in parts, every way he knew and the ones he was trying to learn. And San loved him back the same way – but that love was also seeping through him to his own self. Wooyoung spent a really long time away from his self love, just existing with himself. But now, with the amount of people looking at him, for real this time, not just pointing fingers, he knew that love was resurfacing; because he wanted to be enough to be worthy of it. And he understood that change began inside.
When he finally got out of bed it was already past Midday.
He took a shower because yesterday feelings still clung to his skin. After that, he lazed around his apartment waiting for someone to reply to his texts – his friends were ignoring him because they were probably getting dicked down.
But after hours no one answered him and Wooyoung got anxious.
He had not spent more than a few hours without talking with either Hongjoong or Yeosang, one of them always sending a message complaining about the lack of attention they were receiving.
But now Wooyoung couldn’t reach any of them. He went as far as calling – and he hated talking on the phone – but no one picked up. It was weird and out of character. Something at the back of his mind told Wooyoung that something was wrong, but he had no idea what.
He tried Jongho, who he happened to have the number saved, but he also wasn’t answering. Yeosang was probably with him since they all left together last night. He also tried everyone else on their instagram accounts, but to no avail.
A bad feeling was making home at the bottom of his stomach when he pressed at San’s contact number and it went straight to voicemail.
There was no one else he could call, no way to reach any of his friends as Wooyoung started to hyperventilate. He wouldn’t think much of it any other day, but after his encounter with Yeojun last night – and even though he had made sure that the boy was no monster – he was more sensible than ever, his mind coming up with always the worst possible scenarios.
After another hour pacing on his living room, an incoming call made Wooyoung halt on his steps. Hongjoong was calling him.
“What the hell happened, where are you?” Wooyoung said, not even trying to let Hongjoong pretend nothing wasn’t wrong.
“We’re going to your apartment” Hongjoong answered and his voice was dark.
“Who’s we?” Wooyoung asked.
“We’ll be there in 10” His friend said before hanging up.
Wooyoung groaned in frustration and spent the next 10 minutes looking at his door, waiting for someone to arrive.
And when they did, Wooyoung let out a gasp of horror at the sight of San.
“Oh my god” He whispered as the seven boys made way inside his home, San looking at his feet before going straight to the bathroom.
“What the fuck is that?” Wooyoung asked to no one before marching to the bathroom. Yeosang stopped him with a hand on his shoulder and Wooyoung looked at him angrily. “What?”
“Let him be for a while?” His friend tried and Wooyoung felt dread, scared and frustrated all at the same time.
“What happened to him?”
“He got into a fight” Jongho said from the couch, looking solemn.
“Why? San don’t fight people!” Wooyoung said dumbfounded.
And that was true. Not even because he never had the need to with everyone being a bit in love with him, but because San was a fighter by nature, a trained professional. It was against everything he believed to use his knowledge to hurt someone else.
“We don’t know either, he wouldn’t say” Hongjoong said and even though they all seemed to agree, Seonghwa was looking at the ground with something akin to a murderous face of his own.
San walked out of the bathroom and Wooyoung managed to take a look on him. He wasn’t extremely hurt, but he had a few cuts on his face, lips were a bit swollen and dry blood that seemed to have seeped from his eyebrow. But his shirt was bloodied, what had made Wooyoung panic and run to him, looking for a deeper injury.
The player held his wrists, making Wooyoung stop his frantic search for a life threatening cut and the younger boy realized what all that blood meant when he took a look at San’s destroyed knuckles. It was someone else’s.
“What happened?” Wooyoung asked again, more desperate this time.
“Nothing” San whispered and tried to get closer but Wooyoung snapped at him.
“Nothing happened?” He said, outraged. “Then why are you looking like you came out of a fucking crime scene?”
San tried to hold him again but Wooyoung dodged him.
“You all disappeared for hours and then appear here like someone had fucking died and you have the audacity to tell me that nothing happened?” Wooyoung almost screamed.
Hongjoong took him by the hand seeing how distressed both Wooyoung and San were, and them both, together with Yeosang, walked to Wooyoung’s room, even if the latter was a bit contrary to it.
“I don’t think he needs that right now” Hongjoong said and Wooyoung rolled his eyes.
“Well, I don’t need him acting like everything’s peachy” He answered.
“He’s not telling us what happened, but it was bad” Yeosang said. “We both arrived later but the boys had been there with him for a while and they said it wasn’t good” Yeosang told him, heaving a sigh. “Coach kicked him out of the team”
Wooyoung felt the ground disappearing beneath his feet.
“What?” He answered, his voice small and afraid.
“He fought with another player at the locker rooms, so…” Hongjoong explained and Wooyoung’ body fell on the bed, incredulous.
San lived for his team. It was the most important thing he had and he was extremely proud of them – of what they achieved together.
Something incredibly bad must have happened for things to get to this point.
Wooyoung walked out of the room again and found San sitting on the couch, head buried in his hands while Seonghwa had a comforting hand running on his back.
He stopped a few feet away from them, only looking at the scene. San had tried to look strong when he first arrived but Wooyoung could see how distressed he actually was.
Seonghwa stopped his movements and beckoned Wooyoung closer, making the guy sit at San’s other side. Wrapping a hand around the player’s middle, ignoring whoever dry blood it was in there, Wooyoung hugged him, head resting at his shoulder as San looked up and leaned his head on Wooyoung’s.
They stayed like that for a while, no one saying anything, allowing San to bask on the comforting warmth seeping to him. But when the player finally sighed and straightened himself, the attention focused to him.
“I’m sorry for this, guys” San said and sounded so small and ashamed that Wooyoung wanted to keep on fighting whoever made him like this. “I should’ve been more careful, less impulsive. It was a bad call that affected the team”
“We don’t care about the team right now, San, we care about you. Can you tell us what happened?” Yunho said.
“It’s…” San sighed, looking distressed at the mere thought of what had transpired. “Minhyuk was talking shit about you guys and I lost it”
“About who, exactly?” Jongho said and Wooyoung understood what he wanted to say with that.
It wasn’t team gossip that led San to this point. If this Minhyuk guy was badmouthing another player, San would have scolded him for the sake of teamwork and let it be, probably warn them if it was one of his closest friends.
“All of you” San said and no one answered back.
All of them meant all of them. The seven other people present in this room. Wooyoung had no idea what had been said, but it wasn’t pretty. And somehow, all the people in the room meant something for each other, some longer than others and in different ways, but, in the end, they did had each other’s backs.
“Why you didn’t tell the coach?” Yunho asked.
“I don’t think it would’ve made a difference” San said solemn. “These guys all think the same, it could do more harm than good”
“I don’t think coach is like that, San” Seonghwa said and Jongho nodded. “I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t cover for something like this”
“Even so, I fucked up. I lost it and beat the shit out of him” San said and looked pained.
“I know it’s not okay and it doesn’t excuse it, but you had a reason” Jongho tried. “They threatening to call the cops on you, you could threat them back”
“Being a homophobic piece of shit it’s not a crime here, baby” Yeosang said with a sigh.
“Yeah, but it could make the news” Hongjoong said. “The university is all for inclusion and diversity, they wouldn’t like something like this happening at their grounds”
“It’s a worth a shot” Mingi said for the first. “But it was Hwang Minhyuk, right?” San nodded. “We have something worse on him, though”
“What?” Wooyoung asked.
He wasn’t hopeful with exposing the guy for being a prick, their country unfortunately was more on his side than on theirs. So, if there was something else, any other spark that could reverse whatever shit that went down, they should grab it.
“He’s a dealer” Mingi said with a smirk. “I have seen him selling drugs at my parties more often than not. And it’s easy to prove, he’s not exactly subtle about it outside the campus”
There it was. Wooyoung was not about to say that what San did was okay, hurting people was never the answer. But, desperate times asked for desperate measures.
“We could talk with the dean first. Explain the situation and San’s side. I’m sure Mr. Oh would listen with a clear mind” Wooyoung said. “And, meanwhile, we scoop the dirt on him”
-
Talking with Mr. Oh would be easier said than done.
When Monday came and the boys all got together at the big iron gates in front of the university, it seemed like every single soul already knew what had happened.
Wooyoung was praying that things would stay low, but one mouth had run loose and heads snapped at them every time San as much as breathed.
They were sitting together, the 7 of them, since Mingi attends a different university, and more than the previous weird, curious glances people used to throw at them, a few looks were accusatory, almost angry.
His fear of being associated with San and causing a big scandal was slowly dying down, Wooyoung thought. He knew that his past mistakes and regrets couldn’t happen again – not with San. Not holding his hand and shielding him away from the world right now was more an act of respect for San and Arin’s agreement, probably. But he knew that the bit of fair that hadn’t gone away, that one bubbling underneath his skin, was not groundless.
Wooyoung was aware that people could make up whatever they wanted, the story going from A to Z in the blink of an eye. Even if he was hoping that, since San’s ‘disagreement’ didn’t happen in public, things wouldn’t spread as fast. But he was wrong, it seemed.
Arin threw herself in their table, ignoring the way people looked at her expectantly and shimmied closer to whisper. “What the hell happened?!”
San exhaled and looked around, people doing a really poor job of pretending they weren’t trying to listen in.
“What they’ve been talking about?” He asked instead of answering.
Knowing what ground they stood on was a good thing. Wooyoung knew first-hand how rumors could destroy one’s life and he did not wanted to see that happening again.
“That you’ve smashed Minhyuk’s face in” She said with a hint of worry on her voice. “Because he’s been talking shit about your boyfriend” She continued, voice whispered, looking at the table instead of their faces.
It didn’t take any of them by surprise. Of course Minhyuk would go all the way. The same things he had told San he probably told everyone else, with even worst words after being beaten to a pulp.
Even if he was aware that it was bound to happen sooner or later, that didn’t serve to easy the guilty clogging at Wooyoung’s airways. It was his fault, like it or not. The only thing he never wished to do, the one thing he prays everyday to not be responsible for had happened and it had been thrown in his face. He was, slowly and surely, destroying San’s life
And that was not a good realization, even though it wasn’t anything knew. It was a fear that had been creeping into his bloodstream ever since they grew close, ever since San decided to make himself the only certainty in Wooyoung’s life. Wooyoung had always been afraid of ruining things for him, of San regretting this decision in the long run.
Wooyoung would be sad if San were to let go at the beginning, make his mind and decide Wooyoung was not good enough, not what he was looking for. It would hurt to see San move on with his life after leaving such an imprint, a strong grip within him. But just the thought of San choosing him like he did, of loving him so dearly like now, only to go and regret that in a few years when he were to be older and wiser, to look back at him and think of Wooyoung as a stain on his history… that was devastating in more ways than Wooyoung was able to put in words.
“They’re right” San said, puffing his chest and sitting straight into the bench. “About both things” He continued loud enough for everyone around to hear.
Everyone’s face were impassive – only Jongho had a small smirk on his face – and no one said anything.
San’s whole demeanor made Wooyoung want to round the table and cage him in a hug forever. He looked defiant, almost as if daring one person to come up to him like Minhyuk did, but his voice – now so dear to Wooyoung’s ear and so easy to read – shook a bit, the fear almost slipping.
And the worst of it was that he wasn’t afraid like Wooyoung was – used to be, he doesn’t know for sure. San’s afraid of his future, of the whole life ahead of him crumbling down because that’s how the world is. Because people do things out of spite and mess you forever.
“About time someone put that asshole in his place, then” Someone grumbled passing by them and Arin laughed.
“Well, you opened the lion’s den now. Good luck to all of us” She said after petting San in the head and walked out.
“Just what the hell did she mean by that?” Hongjoong asked.
“Well” Seonghwa answered him, lacing their hands on top of the table. “We’re all kind of in the open now. It can be a lot” He say and gave his boyfriend a sad smile.
Wooyoung couldn’t do anything but look at San who, in return, was not looking at him. He was trying to see something, anything, a sparkle of just one thing that he would deem irreversible that would make him walk out of San’s life, once and for all, and free him of whatever torment people would think about putting him through.
He wouldn’t be responsible for that, he couldn’t. San was the best person to ever grace this goddamned earth, just as warm as a ray of sunshine, royal, devoted and so, so vulnerable. There was no possible scenario that Wooyoung would be seeing him suffer and not put an end to it, even if that meant putting an end on them.
But he saw nothing. No regrets, no possible mistakes or hurt in San’s eyes when it finally snapped up and took a look on his. Just love, affirmation and hope. Hope that they would go through that together.
And maybe, at the end of the day, even if Wooyoung was still a bit afraid for him, the only thing that matters was that San chose him. And Wooyoung felt incredibly dumb for thinking that, even for a second, he would be able to leave San behind. He would choose San too, every time, no matter what.
-
The coach cornered them not five minutes into lunch break.
Wooyoung’s morning was not as terrible as he thought it would be, not with Yeosang and Hongjoong flanking his sides every possible minute and San’s constant thread of cute texts, saying just how boring it was without him by his side.
When someone tried to make one mean comment in class about what happened, the teacher had snapped her head so fast that the whole place drowned in silence after that and, somehow, Wooyoung felt reassured.
San was waiting for him at his classroom door, ignoring the looks when he smiled from ear to ear when Wooyoung appeared. His heart was thumping loudly on his ear when San held a hand to him and he heard a few gasps when he finally took it.
It felt like a plane had been lifted off of his shoulders. They were there, together, and whatever had to happen would happen. None of them gave a fuck about it.
Coach plopped down by San’s side – the only one available since the guys had taken a like on Wooyoung’s spot and all gathered together to eat there – and sighed.
“I’ve been hearing a lot of things, San” He started. “But none of them are coming from your mouth so I don’t know what I should believe”
The man didn’t seem to take interest in anyone else sitting there, only looking at San like a disappointed father.
“I don’t know what you want me to say” San answered, shrugging and taking a bite of his tuna sandwich.
“The truth, boy!” He exclaimed, hands going to mess his hair out of frustration. “I’m your coach, San. You’re supposed to trust me” He looked around at the other three players avoiding his eyes. “All of you are”
“You’re not my coach anymore, are you?” San said, voice acid.
“Don’t pin this on me, San. You didn’t gave a choice” He sounded sad. “You were both my players and he’s the one who needed stitches. I couldn’t let it slide”
“Perfect, then it’s done” San said.
“That’s what you want?” The man asked again, sounding genuinely confused. “You were looking for a reason to get kicked off the team?”
“Of course I wasn’t” San said, finally showing a bit of what he was bottling up. “I sweat my ass off to be able to play that last game, I’ve been giving everything I have for this team for years! You think I would just give up like that?”
Wooyoung felt a shiver run down his body as Coach’s eyes pinned him down for a second before looking at San again. “I don’t know”
San scoffed before turning to him. “Who I date or not shouldn’t be anyone’s concern but mine” He said.
“I agree” Coach said. “But I need to know what caused that mess, San. I need proofs to take action”
“What proof you think you’ll have?” Seonghwa asked. “It’s San’s word against his. And if he doesn’t feel comfortable with telling you just how much of a homophobic asshole your player was being to him, don’t pressure.”
“He said things to you?” Coach asked, voice a bit lower now, almost careful.
“Yeah” San mumbled. “About every person sitting in this fucking table. And I’m not excusing myself, I know I did wrong, but I’m not sorry. This guys means a lot to me, Coach. I wouldn’t let a nobody like him shit on their names”
Wooyoung was about to burst with love and pride.
“I get it, San, really. But you know I can’t put you back on the team just like that, right? It’s a bigger mess than what we thought” He said.
“And it’s about to get bigger” Yunho said looking at his phone. “Mingi got it”
Wooyoung took a deep breath and looked at San, who had a determined face.
“Let’s talk with Mr. Oh”
-
Oh Sehun was a scary motherfucker when he wanted to.
Looking t him sitting behind his mahogany desk, face cold and impassive while reclining on his leather chair, twirling a pencil in his hand and only the deafening silence filling the room… it could be at least discouraging.
San didn’t want to go alone so Wooyoung offered to go with him. And it made sense, him being the one who “knew” the dean the best out of them. But it didn’t do much for the cause. Sehun let them in but did not speak a word other than telling them to sit down.
“Why are you here?” Was the first thing he said, but was looking straight at Wooyoung. “I guess Mr. Choi might have something to talk to me given what had happened yesterday, but what about you, Mr. Jung? What are you doing here?” It was a heavy loaded question and San was about to speak for him when Wooyoung beat him to it.
“I came to accompany my boyfriend, sir” He said, loud and proud. If Sehun had heard the rumors, let him be another one who knows they are true.
“Very well” He said after a heartbeat of silence. “And what this is about?”
San took a deep breath, finding Wooyoung’s hand and squeezing before speaking. He told Sehun everything and Wooyoung’s heart sank to his stomach hearing them coming from San’s mouth. He wanted to beat Minhyuk himself now.
Sehun listened attentively, his eyes never leaving San as the boy retold the facts. He murmured a few times, noting things down on a notebook. When San talked about the drugs, showing the messages and videos Mingi managed to gather against Minhyuk, Sehun asked for access to all of it, and San gladly sent it to their email address. It wasn’t exactly a victory, but the way Sehun seemed enraged with what he just heard was better than what he expected.
“San, I’ll be honest with you” Sehun said, sighing. “His parents want you expelled” He said and Wooyoung let his head hang, groaning in frustration. He knew it was a possibility, the team being only the tip of the iceberg, but hearing it made it all more real. “You have a scholarship so it’s more complicated”
“Is there anything we can do?” Wooyoung asked and Sehun made a thoughtful face, eyes far as if he was thinking really hard.
“Well, I have a meeting later today to discuss this situation. If you allow me, I’ll like to talk with the council about everything you told me today” The dean said.
That was a decision only San could make. Of course things already ran out of control with everyone talking about it but letting all the real adults into their mess seemed big.
“Sure, I’ll be eternally grateful if you try to help me, Mr. Oh” San said, bowing his head.
“I’ll let you guys know what we decided tomorrow” Sehun said and got up from his chair, signalizing it was the end of their conversation.
San and Wooyoung left his office hand in hand and it didn’t escape the younger boy the small smile Sehun had while he closed the door behind them.
-
Wooyoung insisted for San to go home with him that night.
Everything had happened really fast and they didn’t have the chance to sit down and talk things out. Wooyoung knew how the things were taking a toll on San, but the boy was trying to not let it show.
They ignored every one that looked at them for more than two seconds. A few actually tried to engage in conversation but Wooyoung was quick to dismiss every attempt. San needed his peace of mind and people trying to pry into his life was not it.
When they arrived back at Wooyoung’s that night, he engulfed the player in a tight hug, feeling San sag onto him as soon as he felt Wooyoung’s arms.
Wooyoung sighed into his hair, pulling him as close as he could, feeling his warmth and the smell of him surrounding his being. San was hugging him back just as desperately, an embrace so tight that Wooyoung felt the air leaving him bit by bit.
Walking backwards, Wooyoung reached his bed and managed to lay down with San still glued onto him, the older boy quieter than it was normal. But Wooyoung had no other option than to let him be. Nothing went the way they expected and the last two days had been a whirlwind of emotions for the both of them.
But San had been there for him when his world crumbled and Wooyoung knew he had to do the same. Not out of obligation or because he felt like he owned it to San. But because he knew San needed him just as much as Wooyoung did.
Stroking his hair softly, Wooyoung kept looking at his profile while San lay quietly on his chest. His skin was milky white, soft and with a constellation of freckles, from his cheeks to his neck, making San so unique and mesmerizing that Wooyoung couldn’t help but lay a kiss there. The boy closed his eyes at the sensation, his arms tightening around Wooyoung’s middle. Feeling like maybe that was what San needed, physical reaffirmation that everything was going to be okay, Wooyoung started to trail kisses on his skin, nosing at every little mole he could find. Wooyoung caressed every little part of him he could reach until San fell asleep on his arms.
They must have been extremely tired, both physically and mentally because when Wooyoung came to himself again, it was already morning, only a few minutes before his alarm went off.
Even in a different position, San was still hugging him, making Wooyoung the little spoon. He turned around carefully, and stroked San’s sleeping face until the boy cracked open a tired eye.
“Hi” he groaned, leaning into Wooyoung’s touch.
“Hi baby” Wooyoung answered. “We need to get up”
“Already?” San whined and Wooyoung smiled.
“It’s already morning” He whined back and San buried himself into his chest.
The boy murmured something that Wooyoung wasn’t able to understand. “What?” He asked and San looked at him shyly from underneath his eyelashes. “What?” Wooyoung repeated, a fond smile making itself present on his face.
“I’m sorry” San said and sighed, lacing their hands together.
“About what?” Wooyoung asked, intrigued.
“About all of this” San said. “It’s not like you didn’t had too much on your plate already” He sighed.
Wooyoung disentangled himself from him to be able to sit straight on the bed. Looking down at the sleepy boy, Wooyoung leaned onto his space to kiss his forehead. “I know things didn’t go exactly as we planned, but that’s life, right? It gets messy before it gets better” He said, standing up to straddle San, who was sitting leaning against the headboard. “You have no reason to be saying sorry to me, quite the opposite. I should be the one apologizing for being the catalyst of this whole thing” San wanted to say something but Wooyoung beat him to it. “But you know what’s even better? No apologies at all! Because we’re not the ones in the wrong, ok? I love you, San. And I guess you have no idea just how much it meant to me what you did. Everything you’ve been doing actually. You’ve been here for me, you stood up for me. You defended me. You’re loving me” Wooyoung inhaled brokenly before continuing. “And I was so scared of that not being enough, you know? Because look what loving me has coasted you” Wooyoung said while caressing softly his bruised knuckled, fighting back the stupid tears that had sprung to his eyes. “But I would be a fool to think that what he have is only love. I would break the world for you if you asked me, San. You’ve risked everything for me and I’ll never be able to repay that.” Wooyoung said when a few of those tears sprang free from his eyes. “So I guess I’ll have to be your boyfriend forever to make up for it” He sniffed and tried to joke it out.
San had tears of his own as well and laughed between them at Wooyoung’s last words. “If it’s going to last forever than I think we have to make it official. I’m sorry for taking so long to ask but, will you please be my boyfriend?” San said.
“Yes” Wooyoung said giddy and leaned down to kiss San, his freaking boyfriend. “I never had a proper boyfriend before, please bare with me” Wooyoung laughed and San hugged him by the waist.
“Well, neither did I. Guess we’ll have to be insufferable together”
-
San and Wooyoung were the first ones to know, Sehun summoning them to his office as soon as they arrived.
Making themselves comfortable on the chair, hands in a tight grip around each other, the boys waited for Sehun to vocalize whatever shit went down.
“Well, we came to an agreement regarding you situation, San” Sehun started. “You’re not gonna be expelled and if it’s your wish, you can go back to play for our team as soon as today” Wooyoung let out a big breath he had no idea he was holding. “However, the same is going to happen with Minhyuk for the time being”
Wooyoung scoffed but San caressed his hand in a calming motion.
“His parents aren’t going to press charges on you for assault as we are trying to find a middle ground given the accusation that now lies upon him, with the evidence you brought me. And until we investigate further, he’s still a student here. So please, try to avoid any other situation” Sehun sighed, massaging his brows. “And I’m not saying this as a dean now I’m saying this as a friend. He’s not gonna last long here, so just have patience for a while, don’t cause more trouble, it will do more harm than good” He finished.
Wooyoung could feel San breathing easier beside him, a great part of his worries vanishing.
“Is he still going to be the captain?” Wooyoung asked. Sehun had made clear that he was back on the team, but only that.
“That’s not for me to decide. The Coach will act as he think it’s fair”
The conversation ended in a good spirit from Wooyoung’s perception. It wasn’t a win, since they were aiming for kicking Minhyuk out of their sights, but it also wasn’t a loss.
Wooyoung had no idea how people got word of it as soon as they left Sehun’s office, but their friends were already celebrating it.
“At least you’re not going to end up in jail” Jongho said.
San laughed and plopped down beside Wooyoung at their usual bench. “Let it be in the past, I’m not gonna think about him again”
“Yes, now you have a boyfriend to tend to, everyone else can wait” He said sniffing San’s cheek and making everyone at the table groan.
“Ew” Yeosang said. “We’ll be throwing titles around now?”
“Yes, I’ll pester you guys for not being single anymore until you grow tired of seeing my taken face” Wooyoung said while making kissy faces at Yeosang who only stuck his tongue out at him.
“Talking about faces, I saw a familiar one this morning” Seonghwa said looking straight at Wooyoung.
The boy sighed because that could only mean one thing: Yeonjun was around.
The last twenty four hours or so had been so chaotic that he had completely slipped Wooyoung’s mind. And, surprisingly, hearing about his presence now didn’t leave the bitter taste on his mouth that it did a couple days ago. He felt San side eyeing him but only sighed in defeat.
“Did you talk to him?” Yunho asked and Seonghwa nodded.
“He came to say hi. It’s impressive how he manages to make it look like there’s absolutely nothing wrong. He treated me like an old, dear friend of his, like we hadn’t parted ways the way we did”
And Wooyoung could relate. When Yeonjun had seen him at the party and waved, it was like he was extremely happy to see an old friend and wanted to chat about life.
“I didn’t told him off because I wanted to see how much of it was a bluff but, he really did seem happy to see me so I don’t know.”
“Seems like he forgot everything about what happened” Hongjoong said.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if he did. He never really took anything serious, anyways” Wooyoung huffed and turned his body to look at San. “But as said, everyone else can wait” He said and San smiled down at him, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
“If it’s not my favorite couple!” They heard a voice saying and Arin arrived jumping on the both of them, hugging their shoulders. “I’m glad I don’t have to visit you in jail, I’m too pretty for this”
Everyone at the table laughed at her comment and San rolled his eyes. “I agree. I do have excellent taste” He said smug and Arin gave him a slap at the back of his head.
“In other news, I guess you have another problem” She said with a sorry smile.
“Another one?” Wooyoung groaned.
“This one’s not that bad, I guess” She says, making a face. “At least thirty people had expressed to me the desire of seeing you guys make out!” She said excitedly and Yunho laugh could e heard in the distance.
Wooyoung was in disbelief.
“I mean… relatable” Hongjoong murmured and both Seonghwa and Wooyoung threw fries at him.
“What I’m trying to say is, I know you had your fears” She said, looking at San. “About being accepted and stuff” The table was suddenly too quiet but Wooyoung couldn’t take his eyes off of her. “And I think what happened with Minhyuk served the purpose, you know? We’re on your side, captain. There’s a hell lot of people here that got your back” She said with a smile and winked before making herself scarce again.
Wooyoung was glad for Arin. For every time she waltzed in with her questionably wise words and sense of humor, for every time she made them remember that things could be worse if she had been less amazing than she turned out to be. Wooyoung wishes more Arin’s could be around in the world.
“Guess you have a fan club” Seonghwa teased and Wooyoung rolled his eyes.
San seemed smug by his side, leaning onto his space to kiss his neck. Right there for everyone to see. And apparently, they wanted to.
“They will come up with shipnames someday” San whispered on his ear and Wooyoung rolled his eyes.
“I won’t mind if it’s cute”
The sun was discreetly shining through the clouds and just like that, Wooyoung felt that, slowly, things were starting to fall into place
Notes:
another update!!
idk if you guys noticed, but i update the chapter count because we are ending for real this time. two more chapters to go!
Chapter 19: 19
Summary:
Things are finally settling and healing it's on the way.
Notes:
To those uncomfortable, there's a sexual scene at this chapter and you can skip when San arrives at Wooyoung's dorm and continue reading at: "It was after they showered..."
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Arin’s words were echoing on San’s mind the whole day.
“I know you had your fears, about being accepted”
Even though San wanted to deny it, it was what held him back at first. Being the team’s face and someone so many people looked at made him self-conscious. Made him afraid of stepping outside the line and have it all ripped from him.
But when it finally happened, when he did misbehaved and the possibility of everything blowing up on him surfaced, it wasn’t as scary.
He would be a liar if he said he would have acted differently. San knows himself too well to know there was no other way he would have behaved in the moment he caught himself in. Minhyuk took the best of him and he wasn’t proud of it, but he had felt incredibly avenged seeing his bloody face after hearing his pathetic words.
But that was not an example he wanted to set, not who he wanted to be.
Minhyuk was just one in a sea of people who would say shit like that about him, his boyfriend, his friends and every single person in the whole fucking world that they seemed as “different” so he wouldn’t go down that route. Just like Sehun asked, ignore it was the best option for now.
And he would be able to ignore it, to go past the comments or anything that could appear harmful to them because he was in peace; with his feelings, with himself and with his life.
Things were good before Wooyoung but there was no place San would rather go than next to him.
Being with him is peace and war, is the lucky of a pacific love and a tempestuous night all together; a feeling so in and so out at the same time that no one could ever make up a love like this.
It wasn’t rainbows and butterflies, but San wouldn’t have it any other way.
But there were other important things in his life San wasn’t about to let go. His team was one of them.
It was three days later when coach finally asked for a team meeting.
The boys had all been excused from practice after the fight and San had not seeing most of the team for almost a week – some he had last seen the night of the game. Aside from his friends, he only caught glimpses of one or two of his teammates.
He wasn’t anxious, but he was worried. Those guys looked up to him as a player and their captain and he broke that image they had of him in the worst time ever. The last game of the season was just ten days away and their team was crumbling down.
They had been doing a good job so far, were on a winning streak for almost two years taking home the last championships. And San was confident that this one was bagged too before everything. Now he had no idea where they stood.
San chose to arrive alone, not wanting his friends to appear taking sides more than they already were. He knew he was good addition, but he wasn’t the only one on the team. He couldn’t drag other good players to the same hole he was in.
Everyone was already scattered around the field, a few doing warm ups and others just sitting there on their phones. Minhyuk was still on sick leave so he wasn’t around and San was glad; he was already dreading the whole vibe without the whole drama of people seeing them together.
He sat beside Jongho and Yunho while Seonghwa was busy running laps. Coach arrived only a few minutes after that and everyone stood to greet him.
“I think you’re all tired of being home, right? Let’s get yours asses back on the field!” He said while clapping for motivation and everyone hooted with him. “But before we start, I think there’s something we need to address”
San kept his head down at the implication. Coach proceeded as if every player on the field weren’t sneaking glances at him. “Everyone here is aware of what happened between two of our players. And since one of them was our captain, I think it’s only fair for you guys to decide if he’s still worth this position”
San took a deep breath but remained calm; he saw it coming.
“I don’t want to drag or make a show out of it, so please raise your hand if you’re oppose to San staying as our captain and if you’re the majority, we’ll do a vote after the training” Coach said and the silence was deafening.
San was still quiet, head bowed down without looking at his mates. It was only when Seonghwa lifted his head with a finger on his chin that San took a look at what was happening around them.
No one had raised their hands.
Everyone on the field was looking at him, if not with something akin of a proud smile, with a sense of comradery on their expressions.
San felt his eyes burning from the speed the tears arrived there. He sniffed them back quickly, only nodding in acknowledgement because he would must definitely cry if he chose to speak now.
“That settles it, then” Coach said with a smug expression of his own. “Let’s run 10 laps to celebrate!” He screamed and the boys groaned before going on their way.
San was still taking deep breaths to settle himself when Seonghwa pat him on his back and a knowing smile on his lips.
“Let’s practice, captain” He said and pushed San to run with them.
“There’s a hell lot of people here that got your back”
It seemed like, once again, Arin was right.
-
Wooyoung was stressed about every single part of his life.
The last week was chaotic in a way he never imagined it could happen. Things went tumbling down one after the other and even though it ended okay for the most part, it still messed up everything he had planned.
Wooyoung took proud of being a dedicated student but he was letting all of that go down the drain the last few weeks.
The shadow of Yeonjun lurking around, all the stress he and San had been put through one after the other; all of it contributed to Wooyoung not being able to focus on anything that wasn’t the problems weighing him down.
So when he finally sat down his living room, just him and his books when San left for practice, Wooyoung sighed in what seemed like relief – but could also be dread.
Finals were coming up and the semester was shy of ending. Everyone had been scarcely skimming through pages and pages of content while trying to focus on everything all at once and, while Wooyoung seemed to be immune to this in the past, he was now just caught up in the same webs everyone seemed to be – he was the cause of them as well.
Wooyoung sat through endless hours of reading and taking notes before finally allowing himself a break. He’s back was aching and his eyes unfocused, but at least he was making progress. Wooyoung likes his major and he’s good at it so it feels good to have that under control again.
Aiming to just slump on the couch for a few minutes before going back, Wooyoung picks up his phone that was forgotten somewhere on the ground. There were a few new messages and notifications. A message from San saying practice was going well and Wooyoung breathed easily at that – he knew just how much the possibility of messing up his team was eating San alive. A few messages on his groupchat about dick sizes that Wooyoung was not eager to hear and a notification of a DM on his instagram account.
Since his account was private, the message was only a request – one of the many Wooyoung hadn’t opened for the past few days. But the person caught his attention this time because of the familiar face in the picture.
yeon_jun
hi, wooyoungie! i’ve tried to talk to you last time but it seemed like you were not feeling okay. hope you feeling better! let’s meet up sometime, i think we have things to talk about. see you soon!
Wooyoung was shaking a bit if he had to be honest, but it wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. The possibility of facing Yeonjun seemed unconceivable just a week ago, but now he felt braver somehow – like that ghost would not haunt him anymore.
And San and Yeosang were right – he needs to face him and finish it let it go.
And contrary to what Yeonjun had made them believe, it was pretty clear that he do remember everything he put Wooyoung through. Maybe looking him in the face while knowing someone is there to hold his hand right now is what Wooyoung really needs.
But he didn’t let himself worry about this for the time being.
There were more important things for him to focus on and pay attention to. Wooyoung went back to his notes for the rest of the day, only allowing himself to finally stop when San walked through the door.
The boy was grinning from ear to ear, still high on adrenaline from practice. Also, he was wearing his uniform.
Suddenly, Wooyoung had no other thing on his mind other than his boyfriend standing in front of him. Sweat and grass sticking to his body like he had been rolling on it the whole day – which he probably was. San took upon himself to recline on the door and drop his gym bag on the floor next to his body. Wooyoung took a deep breath before closing shut his things on the table, turning his body on the ground to look at him.
“Hi baby” San said with a teasing smile.
“Hi Choi San” Wooyoung said with squinted eyes.
San was doing it on purpose, he was sure.
With everything that had happened ever since the last game, the moment he shared with San at the locker room completely slipped his mind. But it seemed like, looking at him now, it had happened only yesterday.
And San must’ve been thinking the same.
San always showered after practice, Wooyoung knew that. The fact that he chose to come home dressed like that was an implication bigger than the room they were in.
“You busy?” San said looking at the books scattered around the table.
Wooyoung looked around himself at the mess he had made and only shrugged, getting up and walking towards him like he was eyeing his prey. San straightened himself and cocked his head to one side, a smirk blooming on his lips.
“I’m about to be” Wooyoung answered when he stopped in front of San, eyeing him from head to toe and feeling his body heating up.
Wooyoung stepped close enough to San that their toes could touch but the rest of them could not. He kept his distance for barely a heartbeat before bending forward a bit, allowing his face to enclose San’s space to nose at his cheek.
San took a deep breath and closed his eyes, Wooyoung noticed as he smelled everywhere from his left cheek to the crook of his neck. He was smelling salty and sweaty, but it wasn’t unpleasant. Wooyoung wanted more of it.
Rubbing their noses in a soft, delicate manner, Wooyoung allowed San only one breath in before attacking his lips in a hungry fashion.
San’s lips were still as soft as the first time they kissed and Wooyoung sighed into it when a hand closed around his waist, making their bodies flush together. San’s clothes were still wet and the contrast with Wooyoung heating skin made him shiver.
San kissed with his whole body and Wooyoung loved it.
While his tongue was attached to Wooyoung’s own, drinking him in, San’s hands gripped at his waist underneath the flimsy material of the shirt Wooyoung was wearing. San’s hands weren’t big but he was strong; strong enough to leave bruises every time he was about to lose himself into Wooyoung’s body and needed something to hold on to. Wooyoung loves it.
Starting to move his hips in a lazy manner while their kiss got more heated, Wooyoung felt as San hardened in front of him.
The material of San’s short was bunching up every time Wooyoung moved, making the toned, milky skin of San’s thigh be on display for him and Wooyoung’s mouth watered.
With a light bite to San’s bottom lip that made him whimper, Wooyoung stopped their kiss and took a step back. Getting on his knees while looking San in the eye must have been one of the best ideas he had ever had. San’s eyes widened like saucers and he actually gagged on his spit before thumping his head back on the wall behind him.
Wooyoung smirked and looked at the dirtied white material of San’s uniform shorts. It was already with a prominent tent at the front and Wooyoung wetted his lips before looking up at him again.
Licking a stripe from where his short ended to the top of his inner thigh where he could feel the tight material of San’s underwear, Wooyoung felt the smooth skin shivering under his tongue.
With excited hands, Wooyoung latched his fingers on the waistband of San’s shorts before pulling them down together with his underwear, but only enough to show his hard, leaking cock and shaved balls.
Wooyoung was yet to touch San like he wanted, but the boy was already panting when he looked down at him.
Looking up through his lashes, Wooyoung wrapped a hand around San’s length and pressed it against the player’s navel, licking a strip from base to tip, making him groan.
The musk scent of him was stronger there, almost dizzying. The taste was also a lot – salty and a bit bitter, but Wooyoung did it again and again, because he couldn’t get enough of him.
Wooyoung was keeping constant eye contact with San while giving him teasing, kitten licks on his length. The player had his hands balled in fists at his side and a frown on his face while he tried really hard to not close his eyes to the pleasure.
Feeling like it wasn’t enough what he was doing – for neither of them – Wooyoung closed his lips on the head of San’s reddened shaft and let saliva coat the tip before swallowing around it.
San hand flew to Wooyoung’s black locks, tangling in it and putting just enough pressure that he couldn’t draw back. Feeling thrilled at the sensation of being dominated, Wooyoung sucked harder and took more of him in his mouth, until his nose was buried at the trimmed dark pubes above San’s manhood.
Wooyoung’s eyes rolled to the back of his head when San forcefully held him there with a groan, holding his head with both hands until he gagged around him. It was pathetic how much his own hard cock leaked at the action.
“Do it again” Wooyoung begged after taking a deep breath and enveloping San’s throbbing meat around his lips again.
He heard a low fuck coming from San as the player held him again, tangling both hands on his hair before moving Wooyoung’s head forcefully on his length.
It was different from the San he knew; the sweet, loving, caring San, who always seemed to put Wooyoung first. This one was careless, it seems. He was using Wooyoung to his own pleasure, maneveuring him to his like and Wooyoung was pathetically moaning around him every time San pushed to the back of his throat before pulling him off by the air, only to drag him back and keep him there, drowning on him until Wooyoung couldn’t take it anymore
The bitter taste of him got overwhelming onto Wooyoung’s tongue and he knew the boy was about to lose it. San was moaning openly every time Wooyoung took him deeper, spit running down his balls every time he gagged.
Pulling off of him with a pop when San relented his grip, Wooyoung got up to attach their mouths again, making San taste himself.
The player whined in his mouth, his lower body still seeking for something as warm as Wooyoung’s mouth have been around him just a few seconds ago while his tongue discovered every inch of Wooyoung’s mouth again and again.
Pulling their lips apart one more time, Wooyoung closed his hand on San’s jaw before leaving one final peck on his lips. “You’re going to fuck me right against this wall, Sannie” He whispered on his ear while nosing sensually on his neck. “Wearing your uniform just like I’ve been dreaming about”
San nodded dumbly at him, tilting his head to expose more skin for Wooyoung to touch. “Think you can hold me against the wall and rail inside until I can’t feel my legs anymore, huh?”
San growled low on his throat and caught Wooyoung by surprise, twirling his body to push him face down against the wall, making Wooyoung moan when he pressed the hot length of him to Wooyoung’s backside, pushing against his lower back.
“You have no idea just how much I wanted to split you open at the locker room that day, baby” San whispered and it was Wooyoung’s turn to whimper. “You were so, so lost… Bet you’d do anything I asked of you” San teased and Wooyoung pushed his ass back, trying to feel more of him.
The amount of clothes sticking to his body was upsetting so Wooyoung started to shimmy out of his shorts with a hurry that made San laugh at his eagerness but Wooyoung noticed with a smile that he helped him push the clothes down to his ankles.
When their bare skin met, they both moaned at the feel. San skimmed the hot meat of his prick on Wooyoung crease, fucking in and out of his tight cleft, holding onto Wooyoung’s hips as the player’s body shook from the feeling. Wooyoung was clenching on him, making it tighter for him to fuck into and every time San’s cockhead brushed against his hole, Wooyoung whimpered in agony. He just wanted him inside so bad.
Wooyoung’s ass was wet from San’s precum, the slide of skin making noises that were driving him mad. Wooyoung was one step away from rutting on the wall in front him for some friction when San spread his ass open and spit inside, making him cry out and buckle his knees at the feel of his hot, sticky spit running down on him.
San managed to insert one finger inside to work him open and Wooyoung didn’t even bother with the burning sensation. All of it was too good for something other than San to matter much.
A cold sensation followed right after San managed to go knuckle deep inside him and Wooyoung looked back to see him squirting lube on his head. Wooyoung laughed at the bag forgotten at the ground – it was the drugstore right at the corner of his dorm. San had it all planned, after all.
Wooyoung stopped smiling when San stuffed another finger inside him, making him squirm when he started to drag them slowly against his sensitive walls. He could feel San dripping on the back of his thigh every time his boyfriend rutted up against him.
Sneaking one hand behind him to find the evidence of his arousal San had left on his skin, Wooyoung scooped the precum that dripped out of him on his fingers and brought it to his own aching shaft, coating himself with it, making San go feral with the sight.
The fingers were abruptly taken out of him and replaced with the blunt head of San’s prick that forced him open until Wooyoung’s spread enough to take him inside, caging his cockhead on his velvety walls. They both cried out at the feeling of being so close. San pushed every inch inside like he was entering the gates of heaven, Wooyoung so maddening tight around him that he couldn’t think of anything other than to bury himself inside him.
When he finally snuggled deep inside him, Wooyoung didn’t allow the player any time to bask, fucking himself back on him like he would go mad if waited for a second longer. Wooyoung was supporting his weight on the wall while his hips danced back and forth onto San’s erection, eliciting broken moans from the both of them.
Wooyoung was building up a faltering rhythm before San snapped out of the daze he fell when seeing the point where the bodies connected and just how much they fit together. Pushing him back against the wall and holding onto his shoulders, San started to piston inside him with a hunger worthy of thousand men.
Wooyoung was bouncing on him every time their hips collided, the skin on skin sound echoing around the house. Not even his face glued on the cool wall was helping to calm down the volcano rising inside of him every time San brushed against his prostate.
“Right there, Sannie, please… right there” Wooyoung cried out when San hit it dead on, making his spread his legs for better access.
Wooyoung was almost bended in half, San pulling him back against his shaft time and time again while Wooyoung moaned helplessly, his own dick bouncing between his legs wanting attention.
“Touch me” He begged in a low voice, almost a whisper. San didn’t seem to have heard him, being so lost in his own pleasure that Wooyoung begged again. “Sannie…” He moaned, getting his boyfriend’s attention when he clenched hard against him, making the boy’s hips stutter.
“Fuck, baby…” San whispered, caressing the expense of Wooyoung’s spine.
“Let me feel you everywhere, Sannie. Touch me here” He said, taking one of San’s hands off of his shoulders and guiding it to his leaking prick.
San wrapped around him like a vice, coating his length with Wooyoung’s own slick, before railing inside him again, this time working both hips and hand in a fast pace.
It was overwhelming having so much of him so close, but Wooyoung just wanted more and more and more. He would never get tired of how San made him feel everywhere, all the time.
Wooyoung’s hole started to flutter against San’s shaft when his orgasm started to sing underneath his skin and the feel of him made San topple off, burying himself to the hilt one more time before splashing his liquid inside Wooyoung, directly against his prostate, the feel of it making Wooyoung’s orgasm rip through him like a tsunami.
San was what held him in place, hands flying to grip his hips when Wooyoung’s knees failed him. He felt like a ragdoll, limp body being held up by San, who leaned his chest onto his back, giving shallow thrusts inside his spent walls, milking himself of the last drop.
Wooyoung’s body was still shaking with the aftershocks when San pulled out of him, sitting on the ground and taking Wooyoung with him, sitting the panting boy on his lap and enveloping him a tight, protective hug.
“You okay?” San asked with a gently kiss to the crown of his head.
“More than okay” Wooyoung said with a dreamy tone, still high on his post sex haze. “Next time we fuck like this, you better be using your captains armband”
San laughed out loud again and Wooyoung let it surround him, the sound being more of a home than anywhere in the world had ever been.
-
It was after they showered and went to raid the fridge, eating leftovers on the couch that Wooyoung brought up the topic.
“Yeonjun sent me a message today” He said after swallowing his soda.
“Yeah?” San asked, discarding his fried chicken and cleaning his hand on a paper towel before sliding closer to Wooyoung on the couch.
Sitting with his legs around Wooyoung’s waist and hands on his thighs, San gave him his undying attention and Wooyoung heart skipped a beat. He did that every time, looking at him like every word that came out of Wooyoung’s mouth was the most important thing in the world for him.
Maybe it was.
“What did he say?” San asked with an expectant expression.
“Well…” Wooyoung shrugged. “Said he wanted to talk”
“That’s good, right?” San said with a small smile. “Means he at least acknowledges that there’s something to talk about”
“I don’t know” Wooyoung said a bit apprehensive.
“Did you reply?” San asked, caressing Wooyoung’s legs in a calming manner.
“Not yet. I don’t know if it’s the right time” He sighed. “Things are still messy with everything that happened to you. I don’t want to go there and maybe put myself on a bad place when I should be supporting you” He confessed.
San sighed and pulled himself closer to sit on Wooyoung’s lap. His hands found Wooyoung’s hair and tangled on it, tipping his head back to make his boyfriend look him in the eye.
“Things are good, baby. As good as it can be for now” He said, pressing a kiss on Wooyoung forehead. “But this is not about me. I love that you’re thinking of us as a whole, but is okay for you to need me as much as I need you. You don’t have to be strong all the time” San sighed with a frown. “I know you’re expecting the worst, but maybe it won’t be that bad, right?” He said and Wooyoung nodded.
“I don’t think is fair for us to keep going round and round through bad situations” Wooyoung pouted and San gave him a peck with a fond smile playing on his lips.
“I agree. But let’s think about this a whole, just a big, bad experience for the both of us. And Yeonjun is the only thing left for it to be over, then we’re gonna be okay, huh?”
With a sigh and a shy nod of his head, Wooyoung caught his phone and replied to Yeonjun’s message.
Hey. Are you free tomorrow evening? We can talk.
San was looking at him with a proud smile. Wooyoung’s nervous, but at the same time it was like an airplane was lift off of his shoulders.
It took only a few minutes for his phone to buzz with Yeonjun’s reply.
yeon_jun
hi!! i thought you wouldn’t reply, tbh… but yeah, I’m free. I’ll actually be around your campus tomorrow, we can meet up around there? Just shoot me the place and I’ll meet you.
“Wherever you’re more comfortable at, don’t worry” San whispered on his ear while hugging him where they lay.
Wooyoung decided to meet him at the coffee shop a few streets away from the campus. It was close enough for him to run away to a safe place if he needed to and he knew his friends would be right there at the door waiting for him.
Going to sleep wrapped around San’s protective arms, Wooyoung had no idea how he was feeling about all of that.
-
It was anxious the word Wooyoung was looking for.
He had spent the whole day disperse, his mind far away. Every time someone talked to him, he needed to say a shy sorry and ask for them to repeat themselves because he wasn’t paying attention.
San was constantly reassuring him. The whole time they spent together, his hand never left the small of Wooyoung’s back, or his thighs, lacing their fingers together; it was good to have something to anchor him back.
San left for practice the same time he got ready to leave and meet Yeonjun.
“You sure you don’t want me to go?” San asked yet again, hands around Wooyoung’s waist in a lazy manner.
People were still gawking at them every time they stood like that in public. No one said anything directly, but Wooyoung could hear the whispers. He couldn’t care less about them now.
“I’m sure” He said with what he hoped was a reassuring smile, squeezing San’s arms around him. “I’ll leave if it gets too much, I promise”
“Text me when you get home, okay?”
Wooyoung only nodded and winked at him before going on his way.
Hongjoong and Yeosang did a really poor job of trying to mingle at the coffee shop crowd, sitting just two tables away from Wooyoung and the boy could only shake his head, a smile playing on his lips with just the amount of love he had for those two guys.
When Yeonjun arrived, Wooyoung heart started to beat faster. But it wasn’t pleasant like back in the days that it skipped a beat every time he saw him. It was a constricting feeling that knocked the air out of his lungs.
To try and calm himself, Wooyoung gulped half a glass of water before Yeonjun sat down in front of him with what seemed like a friendly smile.
“Hi, Wooyoungie” Yeonjun said and Wooyoung wanted to crawl off of his skin. His name felt wrong coming from his mouth.
“Hi” He said and was proud of himself when he didn’t sound as small as he felt.
They sat there in silence, almost as if studying each other for what felt like years. But it was barely a minute before Yeonjun sighed and lowered his head.
“You wanna order something?” He asked and Wooyoung shook his head.
“No, I’m fine.” He made clear and Yeonjun raised his brows before nodding his head.
“Seems like you don’t want to be around me for too long” He said with a smile that for some could look like the cute mischivieous type, but it only made Wooyoung stomach turn.
“I don’t have any reason to like your company, do I?” He spit back and Yeonjun seemed to finally get a grip and drop the act. He sighed and slumped on the chair, looking seriously at Wooyoung ever since he entered the shop.
“I guess I owe you an apology, right?” He said and Wooyoung snorted.
“Do you?” Wooyoung ironically asked. “For what, exactly? For outing me to the whole school? For making people believe I was a dirty, crazy stalker? Or for pretending to feel something for just to watch me break in the end?”
“I didn’t pretend…” He started but Wooyoung stopped him.
“Don’t do this” He said angered. “It took me years to try and stop finding excuses for what you did. You don’t get to come here and tell me a sob story because I don’t give a damn about it.” He said, finally letting out all the things he repressed for a long time. “Whatever you think you felt for me, it’s not worth my time. It wasn’t then and sure as hell isn’t now. I don’t care about your reasons anymore”
Yeonjun heard him in silence, eyeing Wooyoung with sad eyes. “I heard about what happened to your boyfriend” Wooyoung was about to answer, tell him not ever think of San when Yeonjun kept going. “I’m glad you found someone like that”
Wooyoung was breathing hard and nailing his palms underneath the table to try and control it when Yeonjun spoke again. “I know I fucked up. And I’m not telling you to forget it or forgive me if you don’t feel like you have to. I just really want to say that I’m sorry, even though I have no excuse for what I did. Being scared is no reason enough to mess up someone’s life the way I did to you, but I can’t go back and fix it. All I can do is keep saying that I’m sorry, because I really, really am”
Wooyoung’s jaw was locked in place but he couldn’t hide the pricking in his eyes. It was the first time he felt relief. The first time the guilty of having loved Yeonjun didn’t eat him from inside out. The first time he looked inside and couldn’t find himself to blame.
“You’ll never have any idea of what I went through because of you” Wooyoung said, voice breaking at the end. But he didn’t felt weak. “How much of myself I erased to try and fix the mess you made. I let the fear of people look at me and see the guy painted dominate me for so long that I forgot how it was to be real” The tear that fell down his cheek felt like a small victory. “And the worst is that we could’ve helped each other, because I was so scared myself. But I guess it was the best, right?” Wooyoung sniffled back the rest of the tears threatening to fall when Yeonjun lowered his head. “What we had was never honest. I never really knew what love was until recently. And is completely different from everything that I’ve ever felt for you”
Yeonjun only nodded in silence, still not looking Wooyoung in the eyes.
“But it’s in the past” Wooyoung said with a relieved sigh. “And it’s about time I let it stay there”
Wooyoung saw as Yeonjun cleaned a few tears himself before facing him again.
“I hope you live a good life, Wooyoungie. I really do”
Wooyoung could only smile at him because, for the first time in what was probably forever, they were both on the same page.
Notes:
For those who skipped the smut, San and Wooyoung have sex while San's still wearing his uniform, thats it.
In another note, we're almost done! Just one more chapter to go!! Thank you all for reading until here.
Chapter 20: 20
Summary:
The last one.
Notes:
it's almost 10k, there's two smut scenes because apparently i can't help myself.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Wooyoung took his time to go home.
After reassuring Hongjoong and Yeosang for the nth time after they followed him out of the coffee shop that he was fine and no, they didn’t need to take him home, Wooyoung wanted to just be for a while.
It was not like everything suddenly was different.
World was still round, birds still chirped the same, sky was still old blue.
But within himself, Wooyoung felt like someone else. Not someone new, not really. But like his old self was free to come to light again.
It was not easy to admit just how much time, life and opportunities he lost because of whom he had become, but talking with Yeonjun, finally facing what had made him so bitter and closed off, was the catalyst to finally break those walls.
Walking around his familiar neighborhood was a long silent conversation as his mind worked every new information of the last hours.
Wooyoung knew healing wasn’t linear. He knew he had been through a lot, and it drained him of too many things that were once important. And sometimes he was okay, feeling knew and good to go. Others, it was just like nothing mattered and he was back to the same scared little lamb he turned when fear crept up to him.
But having closure would help. It was already helping. It was just one step further into finally letting it all go, finally accepting things and move on.
He has an incredible support system now. Not that he didn’t had before – Yeosang and Hongjoong had been the reason he hadn’t break more than once – but it was different this time. Now he was present within himself, more comfortable on his own skin to allow help to come from every side.
That’s why going through the door and seeing San sprawled on the couch made the biggest smile bloom on his face. As San once promised, they could heal together.
“I don’t remember giving you a key” Wooyoung joked as he took off his shoes.
“Oh, that reminds me!” San jumped off the couch with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face. “Who still keeps their spare key under the doormat?”
Wooyoung gave him a guilty smile while walking straight to his arms. “Me?”
“You’re helpless” San said, hugging his waist. “You’re lucky I’m here”
“Yes, I am” Wooyoung smiled before giving him a kiss.
That night, San made him talk about everything. About the important things, the not so important ones, about his likes, dislikes, of every fear he could possibly have, of everything he would like to do in his lifetime. He asked questions Wooyoung didn’t even had an answer. But with time, they would figure it out together.
-
As it was obviously stated before, the world was still the same. So of course Wooyoung still had a shit ton of things to study.
It was taking 90% of his time if he had to be honest. The last week had been him waking up to go to classes, inhaling one poorly made sandwich at lunch time and then running home to study.
It was a never ending, all consuming piece of work. He kept on being buried on textbooks, eating noodles to try and make some time for another pile of assignments he had to finish as the professors kept on giving him more things to work on.
It didn’t even feel like he was studying for finals anymore, it just felt like he was studying. For something. His brain was just absorbing info after info and he wasn’t even sure if any of it was staying.
With everything that had happened recently and how much he got behind with his schedule, Wooyoung was far from being satisfied with what he was doing, with the way he was dealing with things. And an unsatisfied Wooyoung could be difficult to work it.
The last days he had spent ignoring every living thing – somewhere in his mind he was glad that Hongjoong walked in, watered the plants and walked out – that he could possibly have an interaction with. Even at lunchtime when he was supposed to be sitting with his friends, he was at the library trying to pick his brain back together.
He also hasn’t seen San outside of the campus. Which made everything a bit more shittier. He would probably spare his boyfriend a few hours if he ever showed up, but just like himself, San was locked away in his own world.
The final game was two days away now, if Wooyoung was still in touch with reality and today was actually Thursday. San had been training and training non stop for the last week, pushing himself probably harder than he should to make up for the time the team lost.
They barely had time to text late at night like Wooyoung had gotten used to. Every time San didn’t spend the night, they would text and call until the other fell asleep but now Wooyoung was spending late nights alone with just the Penal Code as a companion.
He hated it.
But today was his last day of suffering and then he was done. Finals were tomorrow and he couldn’t be more anxious for that whole ordeal to be over and done with.
It was 10pm and Wooyoung was thinking about how much he wanted fried chicken, a beer and San right this moment. And maybe miracles where supposed to happen once in a while since San burst through his door with a big, beaming smile on his face.
Wooyoung had missed him dearly. Overwhelmingly so.
So there was nothing more that he could do than get up from his crouched, uncomfortable position on the ground and throw himself at him, thrusting his sturdy frame to catch the mess of limbs he was when he wrapped himself around San, legs wrapping around his waist to kiss him.
San supported his weight easily, hands on his butt cheeks to steady Wooyoung on him. Their kiss had a tinge of something more than just longing. It was a bit desperate, tongues trying to convey everything they weren’t saying.
San put him down without stopping his kisses, trailing down to nose at Wooyoung’s neck before looking at him with a smile.
“Hi” Wooyoung said, looking at him with adoration dripping from his eyes.
“Hi” San said back with a dimpled smile. Fuck, Wooyoung loves him so much. “I missed you so much you” He pouted.
“Me too” Wooyoung whined and jutted his lips out for another kiss.
“Then come somewhere with me”
The I still have to study was at the tip of his tongue. But that was San right there, after almost 10 whole days of being away, of having only glimpses of him. He opened his mouth and closed again at the face of San’s hopeful, excited expression.
Looking back at the mess of books scattered around, Wooyoung sighed and shrugged, looking back at San with a big smile.
“Let’s go”
San smiled big, dimpled and so full of love just like San could and Wooyoung followed him out of the door – and would everywhere else, probably.
The player made a show of locking the door and putting the key – and the spare – in his pocket, making Wooyoung roll his eyes at him.
The elevator ride to the lobby was just a whole minute of sharing sniff kisses and lovestruck gazes.
But that was replaced quickly on Wooyoung’s face when he looked at San hoping up and down in front of big, sleek black motorcycle.
He looked at the vehicle with big, fearful eyes and back at San’s expectant face with a frown.
“And what is that supposed to mean?” Wooyoung said gesturing at the bike.
“Let’s go for a ride!” He said while taking two helmets from the case on the seat.
“Do you even know how to drive?” Wooyoung asked incredulously and San deflated a little.
Wooyoung laughed and went to give him a hug and a reassuring kiss.
“I’m sorry baby, I just really had no idea you owned such a monster” Wooyoung said still looking at the bike.
It was one of those you see with a big, white bearded biker group and Wooyoung was far from picturing San in one of those.
“It’s not mine” He said with a sheepish smile. “Coach let me borrow it for the night. But I do have a license, don’t worry. I would never put you in danger” San said and Wooyoung melted onto him, giving him a smiling kiss.
“Since we don’t have practice tomorrow because of finals and all, I thought we could spend the night together to help you relax. I promise I won’t keep you up too long, I just wanted you to take your mind off of the exams for a while” San said while reclining on the bike and pulling Wooyoung with him, making his boyfriend rest on his body.
“I love you for that, you know?” Wooyoung said with a sigh and rest his head on San’s shoulder. “If I stayed inside for another hour my brain would probably fry” He added with a whine. “Where are you taking me?”
“I’m going to take you on our first proper date” San said with a smile and Wooyoung couldn’t help but laugh himself.
If he had to take into consideration everything that had already happened between him and San, not having had a date would’ve slipped his mind. It was incredible how it felt like years ever since they met each other but it was barely just a couple of months with a hell lot of misunderstanding and distractions.
They got to know each other in between the four walls of Wooyoung’s dorm, away from people’s eyes because it was the only way they could. But now that was in the past, it was old news in an old life that both of them left behind.
So a date it was; the first of the many more to come.
“Take me to see the world, Sanie” Wooyoung whispered on his lips.
-
Wooyoung hadn’t had many opportunities to ride a motorbike before and he was scared as hell when he first got up and wrapped his arms around San. But the reassurance of his boyfriend’s steady body in front of him was enough to make him relax once the engine came to life.
The road San took was empty with being so late at night. It was only the two of them, the sea breeze Wooyoung could feel coming from the shore as they approached the beach and the wind on his face when he allowed himself a couple of minutes to take the helmet off to feel it on his skin.
It was a different feeling at first, left him breathless. But as the wind caressed his skin, pushing his head back and making Wooyoung close his eyes to feel it, it was like his soul was being touched too. Being scrubbed off of every worry, every doubt, every little question he had for the last couple of years. It was just him and the new feeling of being free, being himself and being loved.
He rested his cheek on San’s back, feeling the rumble of his breaths and the engine mixing together as the road seemed endless, just like the possibilities for their lives.
San took out a whole picnic basket out of the case of the bike and Wooyoung laughed, endeared.
“You made all this?” Wooyoung asked as he took even a plaid towel out of it.
“I didn’t want to give us food poisoning so, no” San said and Wooyoung hugged him.
“Well, I’ll take care of the dishes next time” He said while glued on San’s back, carrying the blankets while San took the food.
“I already got myself a second date?” San smirked and Wooyoung rolled his eyes, tiptoeing to whisper on his ear.
“And a third, a fourth…” He said as goose bumps broke on San’s skin.
The beach was empty safe for a few seagulls flying over the water. Wooyoung was glad for only having San and the sound of the waves as a companion.
San looked familiar with the place, knowing ways to avoid too much sand and guiding Wooyoung to a place that looked almost like a cave, hidden from the shore and lit up by actual candles.
Wooyoung looked at him with a question – and a smile – on his face and San shrugged.
“I might have asked Seonghwa to run a few errands for me” He said sheepish and Wooyoung laughed out loud, dropping the blankets on the floor and giving San too many pecks on his face. “I know, I know, I’m the best boyfriend in the world, but let’s eat before it gets colder” San said while hugging Wooyoung tumbling them down on the spread towel underneath them.
San had brought a lot of food, enough to make up for the probably strict week of dieting he was. Wooyoung couldn’t help but think he looked so cute as San kept shifting his eyes from him to the waves breaking in front of them with some lone, frail sprinkles of water hitting them all the way back where they sat.
“Thanks for doing this” Wooyoung said as San munched on a slice of pizza after they exhausted the topic of how heavy practice had been, his eyes and tone so full of adoration that the boy turned to look at him with raised brows. “You mean the world to me, Sanie. And see that you got out of your way – probably too many times now – to make me see that I mean just as much to you makes me really, really happy”
San cleaned his hands and lips with a tissue before crawling to where Wooyoung sat and climbing on his lap.
“I love you” The player said, his voice never faltering, his eyes never wavering. “And I haven’t done nearly enough to help you understand how much”
Capturing his lips in a kiss, San pressed onto Wooyoung’s torso until he lied down on the towel, San getting comfortable on top of him as their mouths moved together.
It was easy to kiss San, to feel his tongue catching his, his teeth biting and grazing at Wooyoung’s lower ones when they needed to take a breath but didn’t want to stop having that one point of contact between them.
It was also easy to get lost in San’s body; to feel the hard planes of him, the pressure of his hips as they ground Wooyoung, keeping him from squirming too much when San’s hand got adventurous and slipped inside his shirt, fingertips barely grazing his skin before he was shivering underneath.
Wooyoung gasped on San’s mouth when one of his cold fingers found a nipple and twisted it, making his hips buckle up on their own accord.
With his free hand, San had pinned Wooyoung’s own above his head, making him submit to his touches and just anticipate whatever it was that San had in store for him.
Letting his mouth venture lower, grazing at Wooyoung’s jaw with a barely there touch of his lips before starting to suck a bruise on his collarbones, expose by the loose collar of his shirt, San bathed on the little whimpers coming from his mouth that went straight to his core, making him hard in a pathetic couple of minutes.
Wooyoung could feel him on his hips, growing hot and steadily where their clothed skin met, and rutted up to try and get more of him, to make him feel just how affect he also was.
Harshly spreading Wooyoung’s legs with one thigh and positioning it to be able to feel Wooyoung’s length, San let his boyfriend touch himself on his skin while he adorned it with signs of his possessiveness.
“You look so pretty like this” San whispered when he finished sucking another bruise on Wooyoung’s chest.
“S-sanie” Wooyoung whispered when San gripped on his hip, rubbing himself down on Wooyoung’s hips and hissing on his ear. “Fuck…”
Going back to straddle him to be able to take off his and Wooyoung’s shirt, San sat himself right on Wooyoung’s growing stiffness and the boy moaned sinfully at the dizzying pressure it caused on his balls.
“God…” He whispered and grabbed San’s thighs, eyes rolling back when he rubbed up on his clothed behind.
San seemed to understand what the position was doing to Wooyoung and grinded back to meet a shy movement of his hips, making Wooyoung whimper under him.
Making a pace for himself, San moved his hips to grind onto Wooyoung’s cock while his boyfriend could only moan at the maddening friction. It wasn’t as dry anymore with the way Wooyoung was dripping inside his underwear and every motion of San on top of him made him lose his mind a little bit.
Getting himself together enough to open his eyes, Wooyoung looked at San on top of him and almost came in his pants.
His boyfriend was looking so lost, one hand on Wooyoung’s thigh to steady his rock motions and the other palming at his own erection, rubbing it slowly through his clothes as bliss took over his face.
“Fuck, you like this baby?” Wooyoung asked, gripping San’s waist to help him move steadier on top of him. “That would feel so much better with me inside you”
San moaned brokenly and Wooyoung’s hips buckled like crazy at the sound, goose bumps erupting on his skin as more precum dripped from his slit.
“I can’t… not today” San whined and Wooyoung only nodded.
Things like this took time, even more so with it being San’s first time. Wooyoung would like them to be at the comfort of their room, safe and protect for him to take San apart, one finger at time.
Also, San had an important weekend, they couldn’t risk his precious body not being able to run – Wooyoung trusted himself enough to make that happen.
“Then fuck me, Sanie” Wooyoung whispered as he groped San through his sweatpants. “Fuck me like you’d want me to fuck you”
San groaned at the back of his throat and grabbed Wooyoung by the neck, colliding their lips together in a messy, hungry kiss.
Wooyoung passed one leg over San’s hips and changed their positions, now sitting on top of his disheveled looking boyfriend.
Kicking off both their pants, soon both San and Wooyoung were bare expect for the lust taking over their skin. Sitting back on top of San, Wooyoung wrapped a hand around his boyfriend’s leaking arousal and trapped it in between his ass cheeks.
“Fuck…” San hissed at the first contact and moved his hips up, smearing Wooyoung’s cleft with slickness coming out of him. “It’s so tight” San whispered and Wooyoung moved his hips, keeping a hand on his backside to not let San slip out of him.
It was maddening the way San’s cock head circled his rim, brushing past the puckered entrance to elicit moans from the both of them.
“Fuck me, Sanie” Wooyoung said, his hips moving to try and trap San inside him now.
“Let me prep you first, baby” San said while trying to take Wooyoung off of him but the boy denied, shaking his head.
“I want like this” Wooyoung said. “Just like this”
“It’s gonna hurt baby, c’mon” San whispered and tried not to let the way Wooyoung was looking so lost on top of him blind the need to care for his well being.
“No, I can take you, please” Wooyoung begged again as San’s cock head catches on his rim, making the boy tremble and San grip his hips with a bruising force.
Wooyoung forced himself down but San slipped out of him, making him whine.
“On all fours for me then, beautiful. It’ll be easier” San whispered and Wooyoung nodded, turning around to position himself.
Wooyoung spread himself open for San to see and he almost came on the spot with how pretty he looked like that, head down and ass up for him.
San got close enough until they were touching and rubbed his cock on Wooyoung’s cleft, looking at how his entrance opened and close, greedy for him.
The sight of it, all pink and clean skin made San mouth water and he couldn’t help himself when he bent down and licked a fat stripe, all the way from Wooyoung’s taint until the winking hole, making the boy scream in front of him.
Feeling his whole body shake at the feel of San’s tongue on him, Wooyoung fisted the towel to try and anchor himself but nothing could stop him from getting lost in the feel of San kissing him so thoroughly down there, slurping around his puckered skin and making sounds so sinful that the precum leaking out of him was already pooling on the towel underneath his body.
Wooyoung moved his hips back, trying to get more of the feeling, to chase the tip of San’s tongue shy of entering him and making every hair on his skin stand on edge, waiting for every lick and every graze of his teeth on his sensitive skin.
“Spread yourself open for me baby” San said and Wooyoung’s eyes rolled to the back of his head from the mental image of it.
Holding his body up with just his head and shoulders on the ground, Wooyoung reached behind himself to hold onto his ass cheeks, pulling them apart before feeling San’s nose running on the skin, smelling him in.
“San…” Wooyoung cried out. “Please… I feel so empty, baby. Please”
Something snapped on San at his words and he was quick to position his fat head on Wooyoung’s entrance, grabbing at the base to help push it in.
It was tight. Way to tighter for it to be comfortable and San stopped, caressing Wooyoung’s hips before moving back.
“You won’t hurt me, Sanie, please, please” Wooyoung cried, spreading more of his legs, completely presenting himself to San and making him lose the last bit of reason he still had.
San rubbed Wooyoung with his thumb, circling the rim until it gave out and sucked the digit inside. Taking out, he lined himself with his entrance again and pushed inside.
It burned a lot, but Wooyoung was loving every second of it. He was feeling every inch of San stretching him, making way for his length in a slow, steady pressure that made his knees week and his dick leak.
It seemed like San was endless with the way he kept pushing inside. Wooyoung was panting on the towel, his eyes shut close as the feel of him crept up from his spine all the way to his fingers, making them curl in a fist when San finally bottomed out.
Flushing himself against his back, San lied down to pepper kiss all over Wooyoung’s back and nape, allowing him time to get used to being so full.
“You’re so tight around m-me” San mumbled, his own legs shaking at the little rock motions Wooyoung was starting to make. “Gonna make me cum, baby”
“Y-es” Wooyoung moaned and moved faster, fucking himself back on San’s length.
He was rubbing inside Wooyoung in all the right places, twitching every time Wooyoung clenched the already tight channel around him. Letting his hands travel from Wooyoung’s hips to grab his shoulders, San started to fuck him in earnest, hips slamming back on his ass with loud echoes, making both of them lost to the feeling.
Wooyoung couldn’t do more than gasp and moan at the feel of San pushing him back against his body, feeling him hit his prostate every time. His cries were getting louder, more sinful as they both grew more desperate, Wooyoung dripping on the floor while San twitched and let a trail of himself inside him.
It was too good the way San felt inside and Wooyoung could only push back against his humping hips until he felt the zip of energy flow through him as he came with one last, shameless shout.
San kept on pumping himself inside him, with hard thrusts aimed at Wooyoung’s oversensitive prostate until the boy was crying under him, but still meeting every thrust of his hips. Looking around their bodies, San saw as one string of cum connect Wooyoung’s dick to the pool laying on the ground beneath him and the sight of it made him loose his rhythm, hips shaking before his cock twitched one last time, emptying itself inside Wooyoung’s welcoming warmth.
San groaned and hissed through it, his knees almost giving, making himself use Wooyoung’s spent body for support, digging into his hips to keep himself steady.
Feeling San drape himself over his back again, Wooyoung turned his head around to capture his lips in a kiss. The angle was awkward but they didn’t care.
Only when the clenching of Wooyoung around him became too much for his sensitive skin that San pulled out of him, watching as his cum dripped out of Wooyoung.
Lying down beside him, he pulled Wooyoung into an embrace, making the boy hide his head on his neck.
“We need to stop forgetting condoms” San said with a chuckle and Wooyoung looked up at him.
“We should get tested to get rid of them all together. I like to feel you raw” He said with a smirk and San blushed. “You were balls deep in me just now, why are you embarrassed?” Wooyoung laughed and San gave him a playful slap on the forehead before stealing his lips in another kiss.
They spent a long time in there, just basking at each other’s presence, drinking from each other’s love and when they finally arrived back at Wooyoung’s apartment, San made love to him again until they were too tired to speak.
-
Morning came way too quickly for Wooyoung’s liking when his alarm rang at 7am.
Groaning while tattering around the bedside table to look for it, Wooyoung felt the other side of the bed empty and gave up to try and get some more shut eye to go look for San.
He found him in the kitchen, breakfast already made at the best San fashion with half of Wooyoung’s kitchen in the sink. Chuckling, he walked up to him and wrapped himself around San’s naked back as the player was trying to wash the mess he made silently enough to not disturb his once sleeping boyfriend.
“Hi, beautiful” San said. “I was about to wake you”
“How long have you been up for the kitchen to be looking like a storm hit it?”
“Not that long but you know that’s me specialty” Wooyoung laughed and inhaled San’s comforting scent before letting go of him and pulling him together to sit on the table, asking him to leave the dishes for later.
The table was looking full – fuller than the both of them were used to with running back and forth in the morning to actually have decent breakfast – and Wooyoung smiled.
“You ordered this before hand or?” He said looking at the breads, muffins, pancakes, jams and juices all over the table. They wouldn’t even be able to eat all of it but whatever.
“I made the pancakes, show me some respect” San said with a fake hurt while putting his hand over his heart. “The rest are leftovers from last night because apparently I have no concept of quantity and brought food for ten people”
“Well, our future kids will never have to worry about starving, thank God” Wooyoung said absentmindedly while munching on a blueberry muffin that was just a bit crunchy.
“You wanna have kids with me?” San asked, his tone just the side of teasing but his eyes too soft.
“Well…” Wooyoung blushed when he realized his slip.
San kept looking at him, his brows raised as his smirk grew with Wooyoung stuttering. Wooyoung sighed and pouted, crossing his arms in front of him at San’s teasing face.
“I wanted to 2 minutes ago but I’m not so sure anymore” Wooyoung said with false annoyance.
“Oh c’mon, I was already thinking of names” San said and Wooyoung rolled his eyes, allowing a smile to bloom on his face.
“Maybe in 20 years or something” Wooyoung murmured, stuffing his face with San’s tasteless pancake.
“I can wait 20 years” San said, nodding to himself and making a face while taking a bite of his own pancake, making Wooyoung laugh.
Wooyoung never thought he would have a plan to twenty years in the future so let it make it to the list of things Choi San made him do.
-
The day was an endless loop of A4 papers, black ink and desperation, and Wooyoung was sure he would never set foot in the campus again at some point, but it was finally over.
Letting his body drop on the bench where his equally exhausted friends sat, Wooyoung whined when his head fell on the table.
“I won’t come back next semester, I give up” He mumbled.
“Talking about next semester, have you arranged the dorm thing?” Yeosang asked and Wooyoung sighed.
He’s scholarship gave him full housing for the first two years and then he would have to open a requirement to try for another two, depending on his grades. He was confident he would get it but he hadn’t even started to go over the documentation for it.
“What dorm thing?” San asked as he sat beside Wooyoung, giving him a kiss on the forehead while the rest of their friends sat around the table as well.
“My lease kind of expires at the end of the month and I have to talk with the dean for a renewal or something but I forgot to do it” Wooyoung sighed.
San hummed before picking up some fries from his tray of food. “If they kick you out you can come live with me”
The silence at the table was deafening until Yeosang snorted.
“You’re being disgusting again” He groaned while hiding his face into Jongho’s shoulder. Wooyoung could see he was smiling.
“You need to start doing shit like this for me” Seonghwa whined and slapped Hongjoong’s arm.
“We’re not living together, you’ll probably gonna choke me to death” Hongjoong said exasperated.
“No one’s living together, stop it” Wooyoung mumbled with a blush on his cheeks.
“You’re not living with me?” San said with indignation.
Wooyoung looked at him with what was supposed to be an angry face that should be screaming stop embarrassing me, Choi San.
“We can’t raise kids like this” San said to himself but loud enough for everyone to hear and Wooyoung shrunk on his seat when they heard screams of KIDS? WHAT? I’M TOO YOUNG TO BE AN UNCLE!
It took too much time and a lot of knowing looks from Hongjoong and Yeosang for the topic to die down.
While walking back to his dorm, San’s hand laced on his, Wooyoung whined his complaints.
“They’re going to tease me for the rest of my life, you know?”
“Why? Because you want babies?” San said laughing and Wooyoung huffed, trying to walk ahead of him. “Why are you mad?”
“Because it looks like you’re making fun of me” He pouted.
“I’m not” San said, serious this time. “Not about the kids, not about living together” He added, while his hands traveled through Wooyoung’s black locks. “If you don’t think it’s time yet, that’s okay. I told you I can wait”
Wooyoung sighed, letting his arms sneak around San’s middle, burying his head on his chest.
“We’ll think about things as they come, okay?” Wooyoung murmured and San nodded, giving a kiss on his head.
-
Wooyoung was in full panic mode while Yeosang and Hongjoong lazed around on his couch, watching as he walked back and forth on his apartment.
“How long until he stops overreacting?” Hongjoong murmured.
“I’m not overreacting but it’s the finals, they need support”
Wooyoung was currently with too many more paint brushes around his living room that he would ever be comfortable with. Hongjoong, the little shit, refused to help because apparently, Wooyoung needed to let out his creative self, so he was doing the banners all alone.
Yeosang was not trying to disguise the disappointed face at the sight of his friend.
“I won’t be holding banners, Wooyoung” Was what he said the moment he arrived.
But Wooyoung would be making them anyways because the team deserved to be appreciated.
“At least help me put them up on the bleachers” He whined and Yeosang just rolled his eyes. That was a victory on Wooyoung’s book.
After one hour or so and pained wrists, Wooyoung was finally done. It was no work of art, but it would do.
“You’re all terrible friends, you know?” Wooyoung said, throwing himself on the couch in between Yeosang and Hongjoong.
“It’s not our fault you’re whipped” Hongjoong said.
Wooyoung just rolled his eyes. He couldn’t really deny that – he had spent at least 40 minutes doing a banner for San.
“Mingi said he can’t come over but he’ll meet us the game” Yeosang said while locking his phone. “And apparently he is as whipped as Wooyoung because he sent me a picture of honest to God pompoms”
Thinking about Mingi in all his 6’ glory waving sparkling pompoms made a smile bloom on Wooyoung’s face.
“That’s because we’re good boyfriends” Wooyoung said, petulant.
“I’m no one’s boyfriend” Hongjoong said with a mischievous smile.
“What do you mean?” Yeosang asked.
“He asked but I said no” He laughed and Wooyoung gasped.
“Why would you do that?” Yeosang said again, puzzled.
“Because Seonghwa needs to step up his game, he asked to date me over coffee, that’s boring” He huffed.
“San literally asked after we woke up, morning breath and all” Wooyoung rolled his eyes at him.
“Suits you” Yeosang said with a grin and Wooyoung gave him an indignant look.
“What are you implying?” He said with a gasp.
“That you guys are gross” Yeosang said with a shit eating grin before Wooyoung attacked him on the couch and they played fight until it was time to go.
-
The university stadium was fuller than the last time Wooyoung remembered being there.
They arrived earlier because he wanted good places to put up his banners – he didn’t care about Yeosang trying to pretend they didn’t knew each other – and he saw as people arrived, filling the bleachers with the anxious noise of the big final.
He couldn’t catch a hold of San for the last few hours and only saw him when the players went to the field to warm up. He kept looking at the bleachers and throwing him kisses, making everyone around swoon.
A few minutes before the warm up ended, San ran to where he was with a jacket on his hands.
“Here” He gave it to Wooyoung when he was close enough.
“What is this?” Wooyoung asked as he grabbed the jacket in his hands. It smelled like San.
“It’s my varsity. I want you to wear it” San said and a few girls behind Wooyoung giggled.
“And why is that?” Wooyoung asked with a smile, bringing the clothing closer to his face to sneak a little sniff at it.
“Just so there’s no doubt who you belong to” San whispered just for him to hear and stole a peck from his lips before winking to the people around them and running back to the field.
Wooyoung let the jacket involve his body, feeling the protective warmth that San’s familiar smell brought him in between that sea of people.
-
It was a memorable game and a memorable night for all them.
The team was at their best, a well oiled machine that scored two goals at the first thirty minutes of the game. The dread Wooyoung was feeling remembering how difficult their last game was vanished quickly with the way they were handling things on the field.
Another highlight of the night was Mingi, wearing a custom made cheerleader uniform, cheering people from the bleachers, rough screams of Yunho’s name leaving his lips, making the player laugh all the way on the field.
Wooyoung could not help but be amazed by how strong a personality Mingi had, not really caring for the foul looks some sad people threw at him. He made sure that everyone around him would have some fun until the end of the night.
The match ended with the Jaguars scoring 3 goals – San left his five minutes before the end of the game – and the whole stadium was in an uproar.
People were jumping, throwing beer in the air, hugging strangers. It was a feeling Wooyoung was proud to be a part of.
Jumping up and down on Yeosang’s arms – who was way too happy for someone who seemed nonchalant the whole day – Wooyoung felt as someone pulled on his pants to get his attention.
Arin was looking at him with a big smile, her perfect cheerleader make up making her shine under the spotlights.
“Someone is looking for you” She said screaming and pointed at the field, San trying to go through the sea of people crowding and trying to get a piece of him. “Go!”
Jumping down the bleachers and with an encouraging push from Arin, Wooyoung started to make his way to the field, where a lot of fans were jumping and celebrating together with the team.
San finally managed to get free of the people and spotted Wooyoung making his way towards him, running to meet him in the middle.
Wooyoung laughed and run towards him, jumping on his lap to give the player a well deserved victory kiss.
The adrenaline was high for the both them, so caught up in the moment that it took them a while to hear how much the cheering had increased.
Letting go of each other’s mouths, Wooyoung took a look around and saw the image of them mirrored on the four big screens around the field. San smiled proudly and kissed him again, for everyone to see.
San said no very fast to every offer of after party he was invited to, telling that he already made plans, making Wooyoung blush with the way people looked at him with a knowing smile.
They managed to keep their hands off of each other all the way until Wooyoung’s door, that San closed with a kick once they were inside, picking Wooyoung up on his lap, attaching their mouths together while walking to the bedroom.
It’s funny to Wooyoung how San’s already so present on his home.
His smell in mingling with Wooyoung’s on the bedroom, there are clothes he forgotten laying around the laundry basket, a toothbrush for him in the bathroom, his favorite food on the cabinets.
Maybe moving in was just another way of calling what they were doing.
Putting him softly on the bed, San lays on top of him, sustaining his weight on his arms and looks down at Wooyoung with eyes already dark from lust.
“I wanted to fuck you the moment you put the jacket on” San whispered. “Wanted to fuck you on the big screen for everyone to see how beautiful you are”
Wooyoung moaned and felt warmth coiling at the pit of his stomach at San’s words.
Even if him wearing the varsity made San worked up, they were quick to get rid of it, along with every piece of cloth they had on.
San was worked up, dick standing proudly between his legs as he kissed down Wooyoung’s body, making his back arch at the feel of his mouth travelling his skin.
“Turn around for me, baby” San said while kissing the mole on his left thigh, making Wooyoung groan and his dick twitch on his stomach.
Wooyoung turned on his stomach, laying flat on the bed, shyly jutting his hips up.
“Fuck, your ass...” San said, sounding entranced.
“You like it?” Wooyoung teased, putting his knees up on the bed, showing San the little puckered entrance hidden in between his ass cheeks.
“It’s the prettiest ass, baby” San said, breathe ghosting Wooyoung’s sensitive skin as he got closer and closer. “Could eat it out all day”
San swipes his tongue around him hungrily, tasting his skin like it was his favorite dessert.
The sounds Wooyoung makes goes straight to his dick, making it ache in want for him. He rubs it slowly, teases the pulsing hole beneath his tongue as Wooyoung works his hips back on his face, little whimpers leaving his throat as San works a finger inside him.
Finding the lube under the pillow makes it easier, makes the glide smooth and messy, the cold substance dripping to Wooyoung’s heavy balls making him shiver and push back against San.
The feeling of his fingers invading him while his tongue moved around his cleft made Wooyoung’s dick twitch, leaking on the sheets when San added one more finger, pumping three inside of him now, scissoring, spreading him open for the take.
Wooyoung liked how desperate San seemed, his fingers working fast, a bit careless inside of him while he shyly humped on Wooyoung’s thigh, his dick leaving a wet trail where he rutted.
Finding his wrist to pull San’s fingers out of him, Wooyoung straightened up, turning around to push San down on the bed who looked at him with a quizzing face.
“I told you I was going to give the winner a ride, remember?” Wooyoung said with a smirk. “And since you seem to like my ass so much, I’m going to let you watch”
“Fuck” San said as Wooyoung sat on top of him, but facing away.
With his ass turned to San’s face, Wooyoung positioned himself on his lap, trapping his erection in between is ass cheeks and San’s stomach and rolling his hips down once he elicited from his boyfriend a desperate whimper.
“Fuck, baby. Do that again, fuck!” Wooyoung moved again, lips open to let out a moan at how desperate San sounded underneath him.
And that desperation, that hunger for him could be touched as San leaked in between their bodies, making Wooyoung’s moves messy with his precum spreading on his belly.
Bending his body forward, Wooyoung looked back at San to see him laying there, eyes closed and mouth open, hands fisting the sheets as Wooyoung worked him between their bodies.
Wooyoung was feeling hot all over, his dick bouncing in between his legs, bobbing at every movement of his hips and aching to be touched. But he couldn’t, he would probably come way too fast for his liking if he were to touch himself now.
San’s hands gripped his ass cheeks, giving a sounding slap that made Wooyoung break his rhythm, a shiver running down his body. The sting of San’s palm on his skin went straight to his groin, made him twitch and leak from the tip.
“Lift up, baby” San said while gripping his hips.
“Yeah” Wooyoung mumbled without thinking, getting up on his knees for San to line himself up with him.
The first rub of San’s wet cockhead on his entrance made both of them shiver, Wooyoung’s mind getting fuzzier by the second, the only thing thrumming through his body being the uncontrollable need for San.
San pushes himself up just enough to make pressure and Wooyoung shivers. He pushes down, easing himself onto San’s cock. It was the only thing in the world now, San inside him, San stretching him wide and open, San making his legs tremble as every inch of him went inside, hungry and greedy for more as Wooyoung descended on him until he was sitting snuggled on his lap.
When he was all the way down, feeling San settled deep inside with nowhere else to go, he stayed put, just feeling the pressure around him, feeling how much space San took.
San was panting under him, grip so tight onto Wooyoung’s hips that his knuckles were white. Wooyoung could feel him twitching inside, could feel as a bit of him dropped, the extra warmth running inside of him.
Wooyoung feels like he can’t move, feels like that is where he belongs, sitting right there, connected, clinging onto San just like this. He feels like if he moves and he breaks the point of contact between them his world is going to shatter.
It was overwhelming. More than the first time he felt San inside him, more than anything they had ever done. Wooyoung couldn’t tell exactly why and he didn’t care. He knew San was just as affected as he was, the way he had his eyes closed and grip so tight, holding Wooyoung in place telling the same story Wooyoung’s mind was on.
He wanted San to see, wanted him to look at them as they moved, see every part of him that Wooyoung could show because he wasn’t afraid, San was love. But was also desire, lust, need.
And that was what made him move; the need to see what he made of San. The need to break him and be broken by him just to mend together, again and again as Wooyoung started to slowly rock his hips, building a rhythm that was only theirs, that drove them insane every time.
San was lost. The sounds spilled out of him involuntarily, the only thing in his mind being Wooyoung, his warmth and the feel of him, enveloping him so good and so tight that he could not move, could not think of anything that wasn’t him and this moment.
“Look at me, Sanie” Wooyoung whispers. “Watch me taking you”
San curses and open his eyes, and Wooyoung revels in the sounds he makes.
He moves faster, lifts his body up and down, roll his hips on top of him, pushes his ass back enough that he is completely exposed, his hole red and puffy around San completely there for him to see and San loves it.
He shakes underneath Wooyoung and lets a finger reach it, rubbing at the puckered skin every time Wooyoung pulled in and out of him, making the boy tremble and his thighs shake, from the effort and the pleasure.
San was also shaking himself, his toes curling and uncurling, trying to yield some of the pressure on his body that was coiled tight like a bow ever since Wooyoung slid him in.
But it was so good for the both of them. Wooyoung was feeling full, fuller than ever before. San was everywhere, he could feel him in on his whole body, inside and out.
San was entranced by how Wooyoung worked on top of him, his muscles working to give him pleasure, his body dripping with sweat as he bounced, desperate on top of him.
Wooyoung sinks down on him roughly, with no finesse anymore. It’s intense and it takes the air out of their lungs. His thighs are burning, but he can’t stop. He just wants more and more of San, wants him to keep filling every centimeter of him until there was no space left for him to take.
“Fuck, Woo…” San moans brokenly, as his hands start to travel up and down Wooyoung’s wet back, settling the skin on fire where he touches, making shivers erupt where he passes.
Is a lot for him. He’s all the way inside, Wooyoung is feeling so much of him and even so, a touch of his hands can make him shake, could make him tremble. San loses all the fight he has, just drops back on the bed, hands on Wooyoung’s hips as the boy works himself in and out of him, pushing him down on his length, making him take and he watches, entranced, as he does.
Wooyoung can feel that San is shaking under him, can feel that he’s lost to the feeling but he can’t have that. He already has a lot but he wants more, he wants it until it hurts.
“Fuck me, San… please, fuck me” He whispers and hears as San makes a strangled sound before he's moving.
Putting his feet up on the bed for purchase, San's grip travels from Wooyoung’s hips to his shoulders and he fucks up into him, pulling him down by the shoulders, panting so much and fucking him so hard that Wooyoung can’t breathe.
He just takes as San gives it to him so good that he’s leaking a constant stream from his forgotten, neglected cock. San is desperate under him, touching him everywhere, pulling him down roughly, tight as he fucks himself inside, reaching so deep that Wooyoung screams and trashes on top of him, his body shaking at every touch San leaves at the perfect place inside
The sounds they’re making are loud and clear, echoing around the room together with their pants and spilled, half moans as their bodies work together.
Wooyoung can’t ignore himself anymore, not with the way San feels so perfect inside him, reaching all the right places. He wraps a hand around himself and gags on his own spit with how good it feels to touch there, to feel the pressure as San drills inside him, groaning like an animal.
It doesn’t take long, not with how worked up he is. They’re working a rhythm together and Wooyoung’s hand work in synch with San’s thrusts, pulling roughly at his wet, dripping dick and his body coil tight, his balls drawing together.
When it hits him, it’s stronger that it has ever been before. He comes with a cry, and he shakes as every rope leaves him. San gets bigger inside him when he clenches down and Wooyoung just moans, sounds spilling from his mouth as his hand keep working on his dick until every drop is out of him.
And San doesn’t stop. He grunts when Wooyoung clenches and his body shudders, but he keeps drilling into him, hitting at his prostate at every moment, prolonging Wooyoung’s orgasm, making him keep on cumming and cumming until there was just the feel of it but nothing more for him to give.
He was spent, his body lax and weightless but San wasn’t there yet. So he lets himself be used, he lets his fluttering hole be his home as San rails him in and out, moaning like he was crying, pushing Wooyoung so hard onto him, gripping him like he was his lifeline at every push of his trembling body against Wooyoung’s.
“Wooyoung, please, please…” San cries behind him.
It’s so good to know that he made San like this. Made him lose control and reduced him to a mess of moans and shaky breathes. It’s almost enough to make him want to cum again, and he would try, he knew he could, but he was too tired.
With one final, hard push San comes, splashes his lust all the way inside Wooyoung.
“Wooyoung, baby…” San says as his whole body convulses.
His grip is tight, his hips pushing deeper until Wooyoung moans loud again, his dick twitching as a forgotten drip went out of him.
They’re both panting heavily, trying to get back on themselves after giving so much to each other. San’s grip on him starts to slack, going softer as he starts to caress Wooyoung’s hips.
They can both feel as San’s spent slips out of Wooyoung even with their bodies still connected and San lets his finger run around it, spreading it around them, making more of a mess.
It gets too sensitive for him to continue and he pulls out, carefully pulling Wooyoung down on the bed to lie beside him.
Wooyoung can feel a protective hand being wrapped around his middle and snuggles closer into San.
“I love you” He hears it being murmured into his ear and he nods, thinking he had said it back but if he didn’t, San still knew it.
-
“I can’t believe you’re going away” San pouted again.
“I’m not going away, San” Wooyoung said while packing his bags. “I’m just going to see my parents and then I’ll come back”
“It’s still a whole week away” He said, throwing himself on the bed.
“Think about it like this” Wooyoung said as stopped what he was doing to sit on top of San, looking at his pouty face. “It’s a week with them and the rest of my life with you”
San rolled his eyes but smiled even against his will.
“You won’t get away with this by being cute, Jung Wooyoung”
“You love when I’m cute” Wooyoung said, making a sassy face and getting up, going back to his clothes.
“Next time we’re going together” San said from the bed and Wooyoung looked back at him.
“Yeah? You want to meet my parents?” He said with a shy smile.
San made an indignant sound before sitting on the bed. “Of course I want to meet your parents, Wooyoung. I’m going to be the father of their grandchildren, they need to get to know me”
“In 20 years” Wooyoung said with a smile.
“I have a lot of layers” San said shrugging and Wooyoung laughed.
“I’ll let them know they a have a son in law” Wooyoung said, zipping his bag.
“They don’t know about me yet?” San almost screamed. “I’m feeling betrayed. My mom probably has an altar made for you already”
Wooyoung felt guilty and sat beside him, resting his head on San’s shoulder.
“I have to ease them into the idea of being in a relationship. They’re a bit protective” He whispered, embarrassed.
San felt him shrinking a bit and pulled Wooyoung to sit on his lap.
“That’s even more reason for me to meet them” He said while running his hands on Wooyoung’s nape. “So they know I’ll love, cherish and protect you just as much as they do”
Wooyoung sighed and smiled, putting their foreheads together before involving San’s lips with a kiss.
Life was good with him. With San’s smiles, his lame jokes, his unending flirt and the promises of a love that would last forever. And he believed it would every time they were like this, just the two of them together, talking about life and their 20 years plans.
San changed him. Broke the wall Wooyoung had constructed around himself with his love and his patience. He made the world a place worth living, not just existing again. And for that, Wooyoung would always be thankful.
“I love you, Sanie” Wooyoung whispered on his lips.
“I know” San said and pushed Wooyoung out of him when he felt the boy getting ready for a slap.
“I can’t believe you Han Solo’ed me, Choi San!” Wooyoung screamed and San laughed, pushing his tongue out for him. “I’m going to kill Seonghwa for introducing you to fucking Star Wars” Wooyoung huffed as San laughed.
Pouting, Wooyoung picked his bags and went past San through the door.
“I’m not coming back!” He said while stomping to the door.
“What? No! Baby, I’m sorry, come here! Jung Wooyoung, I love you!” San said, running after him as Wooyoung laughed on his way to the elevator.
San’s whiny voice was echoing through the hall and Wooyoung looked back to see him running after him with a pout, hands pressed together for forgiveness.
Life was really good with him.
Notes:
So, where do i start?
I began this story out of the blue, with just one scene in my head that i wanted to write it down and it became this monster. I don't know what happened.
But you guys happened, i guess. Every single one of you that took time to come here, read even just a chapter, leave kudos and bookmarking and leaving your comments!
Every single comment was a motivator for me to finish this. And i know i never responded to anyone and i'm sorry but it's just that i never know what to say. Even more so when every comment is so good, so encouraging that i feel like my thank you's aren't enough.
But it is everything i have left to say now, so thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I hope you liked their journey as much as i did.
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