The fair half of Zorro and the former Alcalde

by Lala_Sara

Notes:

• A translation of Прекрасная половина Зорро и бывший алкалде by Lala_Sara

In his own dungeons it was not so comfortable. 'If I ever get out of here,' he thought, 'everything has to be modified here. For example, to make a proper restroom at least one for several cells. And sources of light regulated from the inside,' the departed guard - his former soldier, by the way, canaglia, - extinguished the only lamp, and the dungeon plunged into pitch darkness. As a result, the lack of basic amenities turned into even greater torture - since this very lack you first had to find without turning it over.

The dungeon door creaked open, catching him with his pants down. He frantically began to button up. 'And also, there’s no privacy here - we need to replace the bars with iron doors.'

"Estevanico," - a voice sounded, which he dreamed of both in nightmares and in sweet dreams, everything turned out so complicated in his damn failed life.

"Wiggy?" he sighed. "Though who am I kidding, that's not your real name."

“Actually, I really call myself Bunny Wiggelsworth now. But you guessed it, I'm not Diego's cousin, I'm...

"...His twin brother, yes, Ramon, I guessed," - the former Alcalde squinted from the lit lantern.

"Who would have thought, Estevanico, dear ..."

"Came to mock? Not enough to humiliate me at the masquerade ball?"

"Well, I hope you will forgive me a little masquerade, after all it was a masquerade ball."

"Oh Ramon..."

"Estevanico, in our childhood you called me differently ..."

"Bunny..."

"You see, I kept the name given by you."

“You were like a little rabbit, el conejito,” he said tenderly, caressing the non-existent rabbit in his hands, then added harshly, right in the eyes of his captor, “sissy and crybaby.”

"Oh, Estevanico, dear. But it's you who were sissy and a crybaby. And a romantic, too, which is why you called me with such a cute name, and you called Diego Sunny, because..."

"... He is radiant like little sun," - the former captain sobbed almost aloud. - "I'm not bad, I didn't want to become an alcalde at all, it's all Florinda!"

"What did you find in her, by the way? I just missed this part, our poor dad sent me to the army to serve."

"Something like I tried to steal Diego from her, but it all turned out somehow the other way around ..."

"Poor thing ... All because I was not here ..."

"It's all your dad ..." - he said with old hatred in his voice.

"It wasn't a turtle, was it?" - suddenly serious, even his voice somehow began to resemble the voice of Diego, asked Ramon.

"What?" Esteban didn't understand at first.

"The one who killed him."

"He was 90 years old, por Dios!"

"But..."

"Oh, now you're blaming me for that too! First, I am the main enemy of the people, then the murderer of innocent women, and now also the elderly. He was like a father to me! You bastards left, and I had to babysit him ..."

"Just tell me, I'll find out anyway ..."

"Honestly? He should have retired on time," - he said like spat out.

"Oh, that's how. So…"

"Oh, que me castigue Dios, I didn’t even lay a finger on him! But I couldn't tell his children that their ninety-year-old father had died of a heart attack in bed with a woman, especially not your mother!"

"Mom died a long time ago, so there is nothing shameful in the fact that he had a mistress."

"In his nineties?"

"You are just jealous."

"As you wish," Esteban shrugged, tired of arguing.

"Actually, Florinda already told me everything, so... just checking," Bunny shrugged.

"Oh you…"

"You've become somewhat nervous," Bunny said sternly, but again in his usual voice.

"Is it a wonder?"

“Poor thing…” the fair half of Zorro pitied him again.

"What did you mean when you said that it was all because you were not here?" Esteban narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Well ... Perhaps then you would not have managed to steal Florinda from Diego."

"Why?"

"Estevanico, dear, isn't it obvious?"

"No," he frowned.

"You were chasing the wrong brother."

"You're not serious ...". - Esteban suddenly felt ashamed of the smeared god knows in what remains of his uniform, the bucket, recently filled, which even had nothing to cover it with. He stroked his hair convulsively.

"So, you really..."

"Isn't it obvious?" Bunny Wiggelsworth, aka Esteban's childhood friend Ramon Vega, spread his arms out to the side, showing off in all his splendor. He wore a conditionally military uniform, recognizable only by the epaulettes, full of ruffles and frills, his face was so white, either from powder, or from the lack of tan, that glowed in the dark, the beauty mark above his right lip was boldly accented. Not even to mention the lack of a mustache, everything distinguished him from his twin brother. The voice, too, was like that of a mama's boy and sissy. But did this mean ... But he serves in the army, por Dios!

"Bunny…" he swallowed. This duo broke his heart too often for him to believe it like that.

"Estevanico," - Ramon held out his hands to the bars.

"Válgame Dios..."

"Let's just say, does your picnic offer still stand?"

"Yes. But you broke my heart, you made fun of my feelings! Steal the necklace from my wife to give to this... this..."

"This, as you deigned to put it, is Diego's girlfriend, although, to be honest, I basically understand what he found in her ..." - Bunny said dreamily, looking somewhere up.

Esteban growled jealously.

"But of course, I didn't betray you. Justice and all, you were really hard on the people, but in the end,  you were only in this position for a couple of weeks, you can be forgiven for being inexperienced, which I did. You see, in this game, the excitement of the chase was more important to me ... Feeling your breath on the back of my neck ..."

Esteban swallowed. Yes, he would love that too...

"The picnic offer is still on!" he blurted out, before Bunny changed his mind because of his inappropriate antics.

"Oh good. Because ..." - and Ramon, stepping back to the door, brought in a full picnic basket. - "I asked Paco to prepare a basket for us ..."

They each settled as comfortably as possible on their own side of the bars (and the former captain nevertheless decided to keep them, not to replace them with iron doors) on the blankets brought with the basket.

"For childhood friendship!" Bunny raised his glass.

"For teenage love!" – Esteban did not understand how he dared to say it. Although in his case it meant rather Diego, Ramon was sent away before Esteban began to realize that he was experiencing any feelings towards either gender. But he sincerely hoped that Bunny would not be offended. He smiled timidly.

"Brudershaft!" Bunny offered in turn, and they began to tangle their hands awkwardly through the bars.

Having taken a drink, as they should, from a glass and a clay bowl, which replaced both the glass and the plate for the prisoner, they reached out to each other with their lips to secure the brotherhood. Kissing through the bars was a little strange, no matter how Esteban stretched, nothing more than a smack came out. But he pressed Bunny so close to him with the hand that was involved in the weaving of the brotherhood that he felt Ramon's heart fluttering like a butterfly, echoing his own bird, beating frantically in his chest. Oh, let me go free, from a hateful marriage, from a hateful politics, from a dirty, uncomfortable cell, to where you can flutter like a butterfly.

So, what if he is not as handsome and manly as Diego, my sunny boy, but he is kinder, but he is gentler, but he is ... accessible. And he has style, oh, these costumes, fruit-vegetable-flowers! And oh, how seductive he is in a dress ...

"I very often thought of you, Estevanico ..." - finally, after almost a minute of greedy mutual gazing, still without unweaving their hands, Bunny said. “First love is never forgotten."

"You… already then?" - realized that he himself was a late flower, Esteban.

"Since nine years old. Why do you think dad sent me to the army? It seemed to him not too healthy that I almost raved about a neighbor's boy."

"Is that why he sent you to a place where there are only men?" – not understood the logic Esteban.

"Yes ... It was a miscalculation on his part. Estivanico... Are you serious?" Esteban recoiled. - "About me?" Bunny explained.

"Oh caro mio!" Esteban choked with feelings.

“Because… you see… I don’t have any confidence at all… You’ll say anything to get me to let you out…”

“Are you… going to let me out?” - choked, now for real, Esteban.

"I need to go back to the unit, so I don't have time to test your feelings at all."

"If you let me out, I will go with you, because I am your prisoner, but freedom is you ... I don’t know what I’m saying ... But how can I prove it to you?" he cried out in despair.

"I'm afraid I'll have to believe you ... And if you run away on the road ... It serves me, an idiot, right."

"Don't, don't, and you're not an idiot," - Esteban began to mutter nonsense.

"Oh, you are such a cutie, Estevanico ... Well, how can I leave you? Immediately upon arrival I will ask our general, and he is a darling and will not refuse me, to transfer my dear captain to us.

"Anywhere, caro mio, to war, into the line of fire, to hell and high water ..." - he muttered, kissing this beautiful hand, still holding a glass.

"Well, well, we're not at war with anyone yet, thank God," Bunny chuckled.

"I don't care," Esteban growled. He wanted to howl, scream out loud and moan at the same time. But for the first time, not because of stress, but quite the opposite - from relief. If in the unit where his adored flower serves, they keep someone like him, they won’t judge him, even if he will love this delicious piece of molasses. “I don’t care, I'll take the bullet for you, I’ll kill for you ..."

"Yeah, just what I need..." - Ramon grumbled with relief.