harry potter groupchat

by neverlandjisoo

Summary:

golden trio era

will loosely follow canon. i'm imagining this at the start of ootp but umbridge isn't going to be a problem. the real moody is the dada teacher

there's not gonna be any special nicknames or anything bc i'm terrible at remembering things so it's just going to be their names

blaise pansy and draco are included in their whole friend group bc i wanted them to be really

um sometime during their time at hogwarts they became not horrible people idk how or when it happened but it did 💃

alrighty that's all i think

Chapter 1

Notes:

i kinda dont like this chapter 😭 first chapters are always a doozy for me. like their characterization in this chapter and the next and third chapter jump around A Lot. but i think third chapter will stick

hogwarts baddies

 

Hermione

i couldn't think of a better name

 

but HELLO EVERYONE

 

 

Harry

they're all confused

 

they don't know how to work anything 

 

uno momento while i teach them

 

 

Hermione

thanks harry ur the best ily

 

 

Ron

Ur?

 

Ily?

 

 

Hermione

oh goodness gracious

 

ur is a shortened version of your/you're

 

 

Ron

Why not type the whole word?

 

 

Hermione

because as humans we're lazy to the point of shortening words that are four letters to two letters

 

and ily is an acronym for i love you

 

and sometimes the shortening of words and using acronyms makes it seem less serious 

 

thanks harry you're the best i love you

 

vs

 

thanks harry ur the best ily

 

serious might not be the best word but you can see the difference in tone right?

 

 

Ron

Um

 

I guess

 

You love Harry?

 

 

Hermione

who doesn't love harry?

 

 

Ron

Hm

 

True

 

 

Ginny

YES. LOVE HARRY VERY MUCH

 

 

Harry

gin ur caps lock is on

 

 

Ginny

MY WHAT?

 

ALL THE LETTERS ARE BIG

 

 

Harry

that's the caps lock

 

 

Ginny

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

 

 

Harry

capital lock

 

all the letters are capital, or big

 

uppercase

 

you know

 

 

Ron

I love how he explains things.

 

 

Hermione

i know right!!

 

 

Seamus

he's just explaining something... what...

 

 

Ginny

Something that's not widely known, which I thought was fairly obvious and I'm suprised that it's not known, is how whipped Ron and Hermione are for Harry

 

 

Hermione

i personally think it's illegal to not love harry

 

like yes moldy voldy IS back

 

whatever harry says goes i believe him wholeheartedly

 

 

Ron

If you know him as well as we do, you would understand.

 

 

Ginny

Hanging out with them is very interesting

 

They're literally focused on just Harry

 

They look at him like he hung the moon and stars

 

And praise him on everything? Like it's very weird

 

An actual quote when he came back from the kitchen with a glass of water:

 

"Ron! Look! He poured a glass of water!"

 

"Oh, that's wonderful!"

 

Meanwhile Harry is taking a very confused sip of said water

 

"He's drinking the water!"

 

They start clapping

 

I swear you can visibly see question marks on Harry's face

 

 

Harry

that was very weird

 

and just one instance 

 

 

Hermione

we just love that you know when you're thirsty!!

 

 

Harry

??????

 

i'm 15?????

 

 

Ron

If you want us to stop, we can.

 

 

Harry

no its...fine

 

the way you go about it is a bit weird but i like knowing i'm loved

 

 

Hermione

CRIES SO HARD

 

HARRY

 

MY BABY

 

MY CHILD WHOMST I RAISED FROM BIRTH

 

ILYSMMM

 

 

Harry

oh yeah that's a thing

 

i think she's genuinely convinced herself that she's my birth mother

Chapter 2

hogwarts baddies

 

Harry

the fact that i’m 15 with an ungodly amount of trauma

 

Ginny

Yeah that actually really concerns me

 

Hermione

he actually talked about it with me and ron. so that’s why were a bit..like we are

 

Harry

right

so my parents are dead right

 

Blaise

wait oh shit

you’re an orphan

 

Pansy

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT

i mean it’s true but why would you just randomly say it like that

 

Blaise

cause i just realized

like i know his parents are dead

but it just came to me that he’s like..an orphan

 

Pansy

I CANT BREATHE

DRACO WHERE ARE YOU I CANT DEAL WITH THIS

 

Draco

Blaise..

The poor boy trusts us enough to share his trauma

And you just…

Harry please ignore Blaise and continue

 

Harry

well..that’s not the worst thing ever said to me

 

Pansy

oh ouch

ow

geez

 

Harry

anyway

so my aunt and uncle were abusive basically

i don’t want to go into all of it but for the first 11 years of my life my bedroom was the cupboard under the stairs

 

Pansy

????? WHAT????

 

Seamus

that’s so fucked omg

 

Harry

yeah..they’re magic hating muggles lol

so i get to hogwarts right

stayed for christmas 

hogwarts became my home. i made amazing friends and i was treated better than i was at my aunts and uncles

but..the thing with quirrell and the sorcerer’s stone

the chamber of secrets

third year wasn’t that bad but it was still a lot

the triwizard tournament..literally had a friend killed in front of me

 

Ron

Me and Hermione talked about it, how we love Harry the most.

He’s the most caring and amazing person out there, even with everything he’s been through.

 

Hermione

so yeah

because of his background we wanted to show him how loved he was

we do do some weird things but those are mainly jokes

like i do not think i’m actually your mother harry lol, just a way of affection 

 

Fred

harry

 

Harry

fred

 

Fred

if you told our mum about this..she will literally never let you out of her sight

 

George

she’s protective over you enough 🤥

 

Luna

plus he has all of is

 

Cho

right

 

Harry

oh…

🥹

 

Fred

oh goodness

i know you’re showing your appreciation but that emoji is creepy

 

George

…fred-

Chapter 3

Harry
can we add sirius 👉👈

 

Hermione
my god you are obsessed with that man

 

Harry
NO@I AM NOT

jeez can a guy not love his godfather around here

 

Hermione
we timed you..you said his name like every five minutes last year

 

Harry
I MISSED HIMN

 

Hermione
you could’ve literally texted him. or written to him. or called

 

Harry
😡

 

Hermione
do you really want him seeing the shit you say in here

 

Harry
he’s literally never on his phone he doesn’t know how to work the damn thing

 

Pansy
..boy did you just give him the electronic box and not teach him how to use it

 

Harry
I TRIEDG

 

Harry added Sirius

 

Harry
Sirius.

 

Sirius
WHAT?

 

Harry
oh good lord

why are your caps on

i fant do this again

 

Draco
What are all these typos..

 

Harry
shut it drago

 

Ginny
Ok that one was on purpose

 

Harry
i am so bisexual

 

Blaise
Bro what?

That’s not a problem but we already knew..like all of us are queer in someway

 

Harry
duh

anyway i just saw a very attractive Man.

oh

it was draco 😏

 

Ginny
..Harry-

 

Harry
LOLLZ you know i only have eyes for you gin <3

you need a same sex friend to flirt with ☹️

 

Pansy
hayyyyy 😏

 

Harry
omg no not you i’m actually intimidated by you

 

Pansy
and ginny isn’t with draco?

 

Ginny
No he’s a loser

 

Draco
Ayo?

 

Ginny
Said with love of course

 

Harry
anyway do you know who My Godfather is dating

 

Ron
You can say his name you know..

And I mean, it’s not exactly a secret..

 

Harry
The Remus Lupin for those who don’t know

and his name Literally Means Wolf guys..

mione had to point it out to me but you know

bot very subtle there

 

Pansy
Hold On.

 

Harry
ok

 

Pansy
no

no

fucj

ok

lupin is a werewolf. changes on the full moon. nickname moony. harry told me that part. sirius. a name of a star. they’re the moon and stars.

 

Harry
…

What The Fuck

i need to yell at sirius about this ROGHT NOW

he loves that

 

Pansy
what’s their ship name i’m obsessed now

ririus

remius

semus

simus

sirmus

sirius that’s just his name

um

 

Draco
maybe things associated with them?

like for star wars, finn and poe are stormpilot

they’re also finnpoe but i know how harry feels ab those ships names

 

Harry
it’s fine with certain ships but oh my god it’s actually so annoying

 

Hermione
cough

may i suggest

wolfstar

 

Harry
Hermione I’m In Love With You /p

i could kiss you omg

 

Pansy
felt so hard i’m feeling the need to snog her silly

 

Ron
Hello?

 

Harry
oh sorry ron i’d totally kiss you too

 

Ron
…That’s not-

 

Pansy
sorry roonald but i wouldn’t kiss you as i’m a lesbian you know

i need a gf so bad

i used to have the Fattest crush on granger

 

Ginny
Felt

 

Hermione
what

 

Pansy
also liked ginny

 

Ginny
Wait what

 

Pansy
sighs

 

Blaise
there’s literally so many girls at hogwarts

 

Pansy
you’re funny for thinking that i can just go and talk to them

 

Harry
sirius is driving a muggle car 🕺

 

Ginny
i’m so confused as to where you are right now

 

Harry
um not at school cause it hasn’t started yet lmao, where i live with remus and sirius

but i told sirius that muggles just take drives sometimes and listen to music in the car and he loves it

 

Hermione
where’d you get a car..

 

Harry
we just went out and bought one

anyway sirius doesn’t like my music ☹️

 

Hermione
cause you play shit like sticker

 

Harry
ITS A GOOD SONG

 

Hermione
not for first timers i keep telling you this

 

Harry
HE LIKES DREAMCATCHER

i played deja vu and he was like More Of This Group

he also loves atw10 he made me play it twice

 

Hermione
um

 

Harry
no i said the same thing him and remus are fine

he’s really into both the break up songs and the love songs

 

Ginny
yeah i think 12 years in azkaban counts as a break up

 

Harry
GIN YOUR AUTOCAPS ARE OFF

 

Ginny
yeah i knew you would love that lol

 

Harry
HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO SHOW REMUS CARDIGAN AND NOW I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT THEM TO THAT SONG

 

Ginny
“you drew stars* around my scars*”

sirius being a star and. remus having scars lol

 

Harry
OEGDJSUSGJS

no i literally just screamed and scared sirius

but that’s..

i literally sat them down one night and forced them to tell me they’re entire love story

 

Hermione
are you still in the car? you have to be out of gas by now

 

Harry
we enchanted it

 

Hermione
yup of course

 

Harry
he keeps saying my parents would’ve loved taylor ☹️

wait

WHAT

TGE TEA I AM LEARNING RN WTF

 

Hermione
SPILL?????

 

Harry
HOLD ON

ok he said i could share

so my dad dated sirius’ brother

 

Pansy
WAIT WHAT

 

Draco
???????????

 

Ron
WOAH

 

Harry
NO THATS NOT EVEN ALL

 

Ginny
i thought your dad always wanted to get your moms attention??

 

Harry
omg shush i’m trying to tell you

anyway somehow my dad fell in love with regulus, sirius’s brother

but he never fell out of love with my mom. but she started liking him around sixth year. my dad and regulus started dating my dads fifth year and regulus’ fourth

so he was dating regulus with feelings towards my mom who shared those feelings

so he talked with both of them and they agreed on him dating both of them

but then

my mom and regulus decided they should get to know each other if they were dating the same person, so they started hanging out more and eventually fell in love ALSO so my parents were in a poly relationship with sirius’ brother

 

Pansy
THOS IS SO WILD

 

Ginny
wasn’t regulus a death eater??

 

Harry
yea apparently that’s why my parents broke up with him. that’s what they told sirius but he said they looked very sad? i mean i would be sad if my bf was a death eater so idk what he got from that

 

Hermione
where is he now?

 

Harry
died before i was born

sirius doesn’t know how he died but there wasn’t a body

 

Pansy
why am i sad

 

Harry
yea it’s wild

it’s the way i could’ve had three parents like what

anyway we’re back home and i’m gonna make sirius watch the rep tour bye

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 4 of fanfic
• Part 3 of harry potter