Chapter Text
Cheryl had lied about not remembering what had happened between Toni’s body and her body these past few hours to keep her distance. To keep herself from allowing feelings back in. But her body remembered every touch, every sound, every breath and every single time Thomasina’s eyes had met Abigail’s. She felt the feelings they felt resonating in her ribcage. But those feelings were Abigail’s and Thomasina's, right?
Cheryl didn’t want what could be their last moment together to end so soon. So as Toni turned to leave, Toni’s name had left her lips without so much as thinking about it. Unsure brown eyes met hers. Her soul craved what it could only muster from the outside for the past hours. Cheryl couldn’t stop herself from having her soul experience one more touch while in her body. She gave in to the craving and reached out to hold Toni’s hand one last time. She felt soft skin under her fingertips. Energy entered through her fingertips and travelled right to her ribcage. Reigniting what was left of the feelings that were felt by Abigail inhabiting her body. She had to brace herself for a moment before meeting Toni’s eyes again, without giving away what was going on behind carefully built walls of protection around her heart and soul.
“Thank you” was all Cheryl could get out.
Memories were flashing before her eyes. This thank you was not a thank you for just lending her body for the ritual to possibly save Riverdale. No, it was a thank you for every moment spent together. For every touch, kiss and feeling shared. Even if years had passed and Cheryl had built walls too high to climb. She never wanted to hurt Toni. She only wanted her to have a chance at a family, which was nothing Cheryl ever really had herself. Cheryl wanted everything and more for Toni. She wanted Toni to be happy and if that meant solitude and loneliness for herself, she would always do it again.
Toni’s eyes fluttered up from their intertwined hands to meet Cheryl’s eyes. “Of course...anything to possibly save the town” Toni hesitantly replied.
Cheryl should have been prepared for this. They were over and Toni was simply doing this at her and Abigail’s request. Yet it hurt, seemingly having perfected this skill over years, she smiled right through the pain. Not knowing her eyes had betrayed her at that moment if someone were to look close enough.
Cheryl was met with a small smile on Toni’s face. So, their moment had passed. Toni turned to leave and so did the warmth in her bed and her ribcage. She couldn’t stop the longing stares traveling over Toni’s body one last time as she left. Thus, Cheryl’s head hit the pillowcase again. Trying to absorb what was left of the love shared in them to soothe her aching soul.
4 am. Still and thick air. Flickering candlelight still casting moving shadows along the walls. Ruffled black satin sheets. Amidst it all, there was Cheryl. Not having moved since her soul reentered her body and she bid farewell to Toni again. Hours had passed and Cheryl couldn’t bring herself to leave. Reaching out with slender pale fingers, Cheryl reached for her phone. The bright screen told her the day had come. It slowly started to dawn on her that this might be her last day in Riverdale. Her last day on earth. Subconsciously, Cheryl had hoped that Toni may have texted her or that Toni was just as paralyzed by her feelings as Cheryl was. However, Cheryl was met by no new messages. Toni had been online around midnight though, so Cheryl was happy to assume she had made it home safely. That was it. The last thing left of Toni was the remains of her smell on the sheets next to her. Rolling over she let herself indulge one last time by breathing in her scent.
Toni was not going to be hers again. She had to let go. These moments of reminiscence were all she allowed herself. She couldn’t postpone it anymore. Heather was with her. Toni was with Fangs. She shouldn’t spend these last hours wallowing in these feelings, because it felt like she had lost Toni all over again. She had survived this loss before and she could again, knowing that Toni was going to be happy and maybe Cheryl herself could ensure that she’d have many more years, even if it could cost Cheryl her life. For the rest of the day, she would need time. And space. And silence. She couldn’t talk to Toni. Too afraid to alter her path, she decided to not talk to Toni and just let her be happy. And to try her luck at happiness with what life was willing to give her. She survived losing Toni, so maybe she could survive the comet but that was for her to figure out. She fell asleep for a few more restless hours.
The last day before having to face the comet, Cheryl spent having breakfast with Heather, which turned out to be less awkward than expected. Especially, after not having talked about everything that transpired yesterday. Cheryl spent a few moments visiting her beloved brother and bidding a careful goodbye or see you soon in the afterlife. After consulting Abigail about her night with her beloved Thomasina, causing Cheryl to briefly let the feelings flood back in, she received the tied rope of the boundaries put up around Riverdale. Cheryl and Heather spend hours trying to untie it. Just to avoid the inevitable.
“Cheryl… in the event, that you melt the comet, I believe I should head back to Greendale. Resume my life there”, Heather spoke up. Taken aback Cheryl responded, “Why for would you do that?”. Heather couldn’t possibly have known about her momentary lapse of defense, of judgement, call it what you may. The sparked but with hard work extinguished feelings from last night were not shared. Would she be left alone again? Was she really doomed to eternal loneliness?
Emotion surfacing in Heather’s voice, she went on to explain: “Because I saw something. When we were doing the ritual. I adore you, Cheryl. But you and Toni are forever soulmates.”
Cheryl caught off guard interjected. “How could you possibly know that?”
Both of their eyes brimming with tears, but only admiration for the other behind them, Heather continued. “I’m a witch, silly. I know these things.”
“Heather, you opened my heart again. And Toni is with Fangs anyways.” Cheryl tried to reassure Heather as best as she could.
“For now. But you and Toni. Your fate is written in the stars. It transcends time.” Heather countered and their moment was interrupted by Cheryl’s phone announcing a new message. Without much time to process what was said, Cheryl gave Heather a heartfelt hug and rushed off to an emergency meeting with the others.
*a few hours later*
Night had fallen. Veronica had transferred the other’s power to Cheryl. All this power cursing through Cheryl’s body did not help with the feelings bubbling inside her chest as she sat at the counter at Pop’s waiting for the comet to come within her range. She was going to sacrifice everything if it meant giving the others a chance at life. The emotional rollercoaster of the day still raging in her ribcage: from her moments of longing for Toni in the early hours of the day, to the visit to her brother’s grave, to the honest conversation and breakup with Heather, to the possibility of soulmates and fate being real, to the brilliant idea of Veronica that could end up saving her life and the fact that she possibly had said her last goodbye to all the people she still cared about today. She sat alone in the exact spot Toni and her had sat after their first unofficial date at the movies. Cheryl had bared her soul here and told the second ever person about her sexuality. Starting a beautiful story between her and Toni and starting a journey of becoming her true self. A sense of peace settled inside her. She did not fear death because maybe she could right all her wrongs by doing this and even if not, she had the pleasure of experiencing a deep love unlike any other with Toni.
The sky was starting to brighten. Taking one last look around Pop’s remembering all the moments she shared with people she cared about and who cared about her, Cheryl started walking towards the door. A trip down memory lane. The dates with Toni. Lunch with Veronica and Cousin Betty. Lots of smiles, laughter, tears and emotions were shared right in this space and she would forever hold them dear to her heart. Reaching the door, Cheryl took one last breath. She opened the door. Letting the cold air wash over her, as she descended the stairs.
Remembering all her friends were with their cherished ones infused Cheryl with power and determination. Yes, she was alone, but she had the chance to redeem herself and give all of them a chance at a happy ending. Her eyes started watering. Toni could be happy and live the life she wanted even if it wasn’t with her. She’d have time to spend with her son. To make memories and write the story of her life however she wished.
Cheryl looked back on her life and was happy with how far she had come. She would want to live even if she didn’t know where life would take her. If this was to be her end, at least she had come this far. If these were the last 5 minutes of air, she would be fine. She imagined Toni with her family. Tears streamed down her face. Even if happy wasn’t being with Cheryl, maybe she could and maybe she would make Toni happy by giving her the chance to live her life and the world to see more of how amazing Antoinette Topaz truly is. Knowing Toni was happy was all that mattered.
Cheryl took a breath and focused her powers. Channeling her love and strength, she rose from the ground with power radiating from her pale hands. She kept chanting: “Let the fire within me blaze in glory and project upon what’s come before me. Combined with the gifts from each of my allies, keep this comet from falling out of the sky.”
The comet kept racing towards her. Feeling herself combust with power the light was growing stronger. Her mind was flashing with images. Hugs and kind words shared with Heather, Betty and Veronica. Tears were leaving cold trails down her cheeks and neck, but these weren’t sad tears. These were tears showing how grateful she was for the moments of light in her otherwise rocky and cruel life. She silently thanked each and every one of them.
The last picture in her mind was Toni’s smile from last night before silence settled in and everything turned a blinding white.