Chapter Text
Chapter 1 Flight Risk
No place to hide.
Why was it so hard to find a place to hide? Closing his eyes a breath of air into the air, the scent of humanity coupled with smoke and alcohol. Motions of bodies grinding and rubbing against one another. Clashing of clothes making swish and grinding sounds as they move along one another. The beat of the bass and the churning to whistling of the high pitch singer rank through the small club.
Walls of liquor in all shapes and bottles sat neatly or chaotically against the wall. Handsome men adore themselves behind the wall as they serve drink after drink with flirtatious smirks and smiles to their customers.
The life of Thailand clubs the coy wiggles of bodies to shifty business behind the scene. The unfathomable taint of scent of flesh and body strew throughout the place with sweat and liquor permeating the whole premise. The world was set ablaze in this tiny hole in the wall with projectors of lights of any color imagined.
This was what Porchay noted as he sat in a private booth settled high enough that it was enclosed. He never wanted this life. Never ever. But here he was nested in a corner of a club that was filled with humanity and all he could do was stare out into the sea of bodies and simply feel alone.
Today was his birthday.
Happy Birthday to him…hitting the age of nineteen when his brother would chirp that he was still underage. Had-he ever been underage? Maturity of his mind outweighs that of his bones. If his brother would have heard him he would have believed that Porchay was in his emo phase. The color of black draped over his body. The torn shirt showing a glimpse of his neck line and the jeans that molded onto his derriere. He could spot his brother in the crowd with his mafia boyfriend. Presents littered the private booth before cake and drinks were served. Tankhun with the bodyguards were happily drinking below at the bar even though they had quite a full amount from the private room.
Today Chay was brought out to drink.
The loneliness even as he was surrounded by Porsche and those of the mansion flush in the beat and screams of laughter. The show must go on.
But all Chay could see was a wall. The wall that surrounded him like battle armor and the way his life was no longer his own. The filthy rich life wasn’t the life that Porchay ever considered. Glimmer gold but with the unspoken harshness of the mafia life.
The guitar and bands stringing along hired by that rich boyfriend of Porsche, Kinn. The serious face that he saw staring out in the mansion during meetings that he caught glimpses of. Yet there were the softening goofy presences that were allured when Porsche was near that expressed the changes in the older man.
Porchay couldn’t say if he would be able to accept the man. The individual that helped collapse his life to what this place was…Closing his eyes Porchay leaned back in the booth and tilted his head, sealing the painful wilting of tears that he could feel gathering beneath the lids.
In front of Chay sat a table filled to the brim with drinks. Yet not a single item had made its way to Chay lips. A finger picked at his silk shirt courtesy of the Theerapanyakul staff. The jewelry on his fingers twinkle in the light another item that was gifted to him by the oh so generous boyfriend of his brother. The dozen birthday gifts litter this little room with wads of cash that were in brief cases. Embedded was a small symbol tagging Chay forever linked to the minor family. His hands clenched in silk and he breathed in once the only voice of luxury but there was that loneliness. He wanted out of this world…he wanted to go back to being a street rat life, where even though their lives were harsh they still had one another. Yet even he was left behind.
His parents died leaving him.
His not uncle also left, leaving him not only in presence but also in death.
Now his brother was heading in that direction leaving him behind for a love that was not of this world. Maybe one day he would also die leaving Porchay alone.
His heart twinges, just like Kim.
He spent so long craving the warmth and even though he kept speaking softly to himself.
‘I am okay.’
‘I am fine.’
The horrors he had seen the panic and loss had edges into Porchay visions.
Would they even know if he was gone? Yes it was his birthday but he wanted to go away. He heard stories how it was easy to go away and it also was easy to be found.
He wanted to go away.
He wanted to see the light.
Away from this dark place that he used to crave to appear like an adult.
Unable to take anymore he stood up and pulled up a jacket sliding it over his body like a shield he pulled up the hood feeling almost like himself. He slid up his backpack that he reminded himself to bring with him and slipped open the brief cases that held cash. Uncertain but knowing that it was necessary he slipped a dozen of the stacks into the backpack and zipped it up.The flaunting gift of Tankhun in those rows and the flushness of this family. But he would need this. Then like the wind he walked down the stairs heading to the back of the club. There was no plan but there was a start point.
Exiting through the back alley.
The alley had dark spots where CCTV wouldn’t run if he made his way down and to the exit point. He hurried remembering the bus routes and the timing and got onto one making sure to keep his head down.
Maybe he would be able to keep his sanity in check if he just wanted to be alone. The journey was short and he had to switch a few more buses before he entered the flea market. He bought a few shirts and hoodies and entered into a public bathroom of a mc donalds and switched his clothes in privacy.
He knew that Porsche would be disappointed but he needed to leave to breathe free. A part of him was crying inside but being stuck in a gilded cage and it wasn’t for him.
Glancing at the second cellphone he had brought he had silenced his old cell phone so that he could search where he could go. The best way to travel overland since Porchay didn’t bring much of his papers was to grab an overnight sleeper train to Surat Thani and then a direct bus service to Phuket. Usually bus services to Phuket depart in the morning so this is perfect for Porchay’s journey. Buying a ticket for the overnight sleeper first class since he did have enough money, he finally felt secure a berth, he lay down to journey away on the train closing his eyes.
Not realizing the panic he left behind because someone did notice his presence missing.
~_~_~_~
The party continued with laughter. The whole group was pretty much stinking drunk. The sudden pouring of water hit all Kinn and Porsche that were pretty much drunk out of their minds on the back booth and chairs.
“Where the fuck is he?” The familiar voice zing through Kinn’s mind and grumbling he opened his eyes to see the angry brown eyes of his familiar little brother.
Kinn swallowed down the water after the stupor of shooting up tequilas with his lover. “Kim?”
“Where the fuck is he?” Kim asked again, a finger pointed with the vengefulness he had come later decked out in leather. He was sleep deprived traveling from Japan back to Thailand trying to make it back hoping to have a glimpse of Porchay. Hoping that he would get one more chance to try during this celebration because that boy couldn't hide in that room of his forever.
“Who?” Porsche asked also growing sober.
“Chay?” Kim hisses cannot believe that this was the favorable big brother that Porchay sang praises about.
“He's probably upstairs in the booth…” Porsche said grabbing water desperately since he was feeling queasy from mixing cocktails.
“No he is not there! I check everywhere in this place and no one has seen him.” Kim was becoming more agitated.
A sudden coldness slipped between them as the music suddenly stopped and dead silences happened.
“What do you mean Porchay is gone?” Tankhun in his flamboyant pink boa and suit asked, “He was upstairs like two hours ago.”
“He's missing!” Kim stated angrily, “I cannot believe this…it’s his fucking birthday and no one knows that the Birthday boy is gone~” He grab Arm and hisses, “Pull up the footage and find him!”
Kim clenches his fist and takes a deep breath in and out and growls. He should have come back sooner. Maybe kick open that stupid door that Porchay places up between them. “Find him!”
'I cannot lose him.'