Chapter Text
His hand was blue.
Not black and brittle with frostbite as Volstagg’s had been. But the smooth, cool, cerulean blue of their enemies. Of the Frost Giants.
Thor and the Allfather were enraged with one another. Neither took any notice of the younger prince. Little Loki, always in the shadows. Always secondary to Thor’s thunderous glory. Perhaps now he knew why.
“You are a vain, greedy, cruel boy!”
He could feel it, now that he knew it was there. It was like the feeling of ice cold water pouring down his throat and flooding his chest on a hot summer day.
“And you are an old man and a fool!”
Loki opened himself to it. Allowed the coolness to creep up his forearm. Through his veins. Overtaking him entirely.
“Yes. I was a fool. To think you were ready.”
As the cold spread, so did fear. An anguished fear at what answer he may receive for the question he was terrified to ask.
“Am I cursed?” Loki’s voice was a weak, trembling whisper amidst the booming voices of his kin, but it cut through the chamber like daggers of ice. At last, Thor was shocked into silence as Odin finally looked upon his youngest son.
“Loki, what trickery is this?” Thor sputtered, desperate to deny any truth to Loki’s monstrous new form.
The Allfather took a step down from the dais, looking upon the young Jotun before him with more sadness and shame than Loki had ever beheld on the face of his father.
“I’m not your son, am I?” whispered Loki in a shocked monotone, “I’m…one of them. No more than another stolen relic.”
“You are my son, Loki,” insisted Odin, crossing the distance between them and gripping Loki’s forearm, “I wanted only to protect you from the truth.” The Allfather’s warmth seemed to melt Loki’s frozen exterior, fading away the blue to reveal the pale Aesir beneath. Or rather, it must be the other way around, Loki mused darkly.
“Because I’m the monster parents tell their children about at night?” Loki shouted, ripping his arm from his false father’s grip and turning to face Thor, desperate for an ally in his feelings of betrayal. The God of Thunder refused to meet his eye.
Oh .
A frigid fury began to build within Loki, and he found himself desiring nothing more than for the Allfather to hurt just as he did. And he had the perfect poison for the job.
“Thor is right. You are a fool. Who else would willingly let a beast such as I into their home? Who else could be so blind to the treachery within their very own household?”
Odin’s eyes shot to Loki’s with dismay as he realized the truth behind those words. Thor, never one for subtlety, demanded, “What lies do you spin now, brother? Speak plainly!”
“Very well, allow me to make it perfectly clear to you, brother ,” Loki didn’t miss how Thor winced at the vitriol in his voice, nor that his brother still couldn’t meet his eye, “It was I who ruined your precious coronation. I allowed the Frost Giants into Asgard. I stopped the Allfather from allowing this realm to be ruled by such a buffoon as you, and it was my silver tongue that manipulated you into seeking vengeance on Jotunheim. Irony certainly is a cruel mistress, isn’t she, Father ?”
Loki stopped short as he turned back to look at Odin and saw the change in the Allfather’s demeanor. Gone was the guilt. Gone was any hint of pain or sorrow. Gone was everything but the cold, distant gaze of a king preparing to deliver a sentence.
Loki had just confessed to treachery in the highest degree. Loki had gone too far.
“You have betrayed and endangered all of Asgard this day, Loki Odinson. Your mischief and lies have wreaked irreparable havoc on our people. You are unworthy of these realms you would claim to protect. You are unworthy of the loved ones you have betrayed. That which the Allmother nurtured in you has become a tool for destruction. I now take from you your power.”
At those words, Loki felt his seidr implode as if sucked into a black hole at his very core, locking away far from his reach and leaving him powerless. Mortal. Nothing . Discovering his true heritage had been horrifying. This was death itself.
“Until the day you can bear it with honor and purpose beyond yourself, you shall not have it again. In the name of my father and his father before, I - Odin Allfather - cast you out!”
The last thing Loki saw as he was flung into the Bifrost was the only father he ever knew, turning his back on him.
Parents sucked.
At least, Darcy’s did. Currently. Normally she was a big fan of the whole mom-and-dad-are-my-best-friends schtick, but right now she had them both thoroughly in the doghouse. Unfortunately, rebellion of the drinking and partying variety wasn’t Darcy’s thing either, giving her limited options for how to deal over summer vacation.
So, she ended up here somehow. Careening across the New Mexico desert with two astrophysicists from Culver University in what felt like a scene straight out of Storm Chasers. Or maybe, in this particular moment, Wizard of Oz. This storm was weird .
Darcy was good with weird.
What Darcy was decidedly not good with was finding out at 22 years old that she’s adopted . Not cool, parents. Hence the sucking.
“So why exactly are we off-roading in the middle of the trippiest desert storm ever?” Darcy shouted over the loud engine and crashing thunder.
“I thought you were a science major?” replied Dr. Selvig in a surprisingly level voice considering his associate’s reckless driving.
“Political science,” Darcy responded, popping her earbud back in her ear and cranking the volume on her ipod as Jane mumbled something about her being the only applicant. Nothing like a little Joan Jett to take the edge off, right?
A particularly blinding flash of lightning brought Darcy’s eyes back up to the dash just in time to see a man standing directly in the path of the speeding van.
“Jane! Look out!”
All three scientists—political and otherwise—shrieked as Jane ground her heel into the brake. The headlights illuminated a pair of haunted green eyes before colliding with the figure in a sickening thump . There was a brief moment of stunned silence before Darcy scrambled out of the car, followed by Jane and Erik in rapid succession.
The mysterious man was already pushing himself up to a seated position, looking irritated and impossibly uninjured. His ink black hair was for the most part slicked back with intention, though a few strands were hanging loose across his face. He wore green leather with golden metal accents—that wasn’t real gold, was it?—and looked like he’d just come from a really dedicated larping match. Or Comic Con or…something.
“Do you need CPR? Because I totally know CPR,” Darcy blurted without thinking. Internally, she was facepalming so hard her ego was thoroughly bruised. Who says that to a strange guy you just participated in hitting with a car? Smooth, Darce.
The man turned to look sharply at Darcy with a pretentious, irritated glare that instantly bristled any embarrassment Darcy had been feeling. Anyone who could emit so much distaste with a single look was clearly entitled.
Jane rushed over to the man’s side before the interaction could go any further, babbling, “Please do me a favor and don’t be seriously hurt! I’m so sorry!” Jane reached to grasp the stranger’s forearm and help him up, but before she could so much as touch him, the man leapt to his feet, arms outstretched in a decidedly aggressive gesture.
Seemingly realizing nothing was going to happen—what did he expect, lasers to shoot from his eyes?—the man instead warned, “You would do well to keep your distance, mortal .”
Of course Jane, assured that the man was at least physically okay, was already back in science-mode and studying the strange markings on the ground. “Erik, take a look at this! We have to move quickly before this all changes!”
“Shouldn’t we get this guy to a hospital first? I mean, he just called you a ‘mortal.’ Sounds like a concussion to me,” mumbled Darcy, watching the stranger warily.
As if sensing her attention on him, cosplay-guy demanded, “Tell me, female, what realm is this?”
“Uuuuh…New Mexico?” Darcy attempted to answer, fumbling to pull her taser from her pocket as he bore down on her.
With renewed disgust, the man snarled, “You dare to threaten Loki Odinson with so puny a weapon? You would dare —”
Darcy tased him.
“What?” she defended as Erik and Jane turned to her in shock, “He was freaking me out!”
Loki awoke to blindingly bright lights in an unnaturally white room. There was a man typing on a computer nearby garbed in a matching pale blue top and pants. He hadn’t noticed Loki’s stirring yet, giving the young god a chance to take in his surroundings uninterrupted.
He was lying on a bed as pure white as the walls and ceiling. His armor was gone, replaced by a paper-thin gown and a strange band around his wrist that was attached to a large beeping contraption. The far wall of the room was almost entirely made of glass, and he could see a number of other mortals dressed similar to his companion walking by without so much as glancing at him. Occasionally, one of these would be accompanied by another mortal in a paper gown similar to Loki’s—all of these evidently unwell or injured in some fashion.
A center of healing, then.
Based on the mortality so graciously thrust upon him by Odin—not to mention the aesir-like appearance of the other mortals—Loki conjectured he was on Midgard. Earth , as the locals liked to call it. Although prone to exploring the realms in his youth, Midgard was one he had never found particularly worth his time beyond some light reading when he was especially bored. The last time he was on Midgard was perhaps 40 years ago, and then only because he lost a bet to Thor.
Loki still felt the ice in his veins that spoke of his true heritage, but could draw upon it no more than he could his own seidr. It would seem Odin had permanently bound him in this now-mortal Aesir form. He could have been bound in his true form, he supposed. Small mercies.
“Hi there,” the mortal spoke kindly, finally realizing Loki was awake and approaching his bed with a small needle in hand, “Just going to take a little blood if that’s alright.”
The time of observation was over. Powers or not, Loki was still the god of mischief and lies. If anyone could manipulate these foolish mortals into doing his bidding, it was Loki.
“I am afraid that is not alright,” Loki responded stiffly, moving his arm away from the man’s reach.
“Oh, um, okay then,” the man stuttered, clearly not expecting Loki’s resistance, “I’ll just, uh, go get the doctor then.”
“That will not be necessary,” Loki stated with calm authority, “Simply retrieve my belongings and I will be on my way.”
“I’m afraid I can’t let you do that, Mr. Odinson,” rambled the increasingly nervous healer, “You were in a serious accident and we’d like to run some tests before—”
“Is it common practice on your planet to hold your patients hostage when they refuse treatment?” questioned Loki, raising an eyebrow in apparent distaste.
“On my planet?” the man stared at Loki in bewilderment, but quickly schooled his features when he received only a cold glare in return, “I mean, no! No, of course not. If you’re sure…I’ll just, um…go find your things.”
“Yes, you shall,” declared Loki, glad at least one of his many talents wasn’t inextricably tied to his seidr. He watched as the healer stumbled out into the hallway, unfortunately taking the needle with him. Though meager, it would have been nice to have some sort of weapon in the event of resistance. For the first time since he learned the skill, Loki regretted keeping his daggers stored away in his now inaccessible pocket dimension.
Tentatively, Loki reached deep within his core to where he still felt the faint hum of his power. It was condensed and choked into a cage at his very center, flickering faintly and cowering like a wounded animal. Loki attempted to coax it out—and immediately felt such immense pain it was like standing in a pit of fire. He felt seared to the bone, and it took all his willpower not to cry out and draw undue attention to himself as he quickly pulled back from his seidr, abandoning it to the darkness once more.
To take a god’s immortality was one thing. But to bind the power of a sorcerer—to seal away such an integral part of one’s self…Loki had never known Odin to be cruel, but in this he believed he understood a glimpse of the God of War the Allfather had once been.
Eventually, the healer returned, awkwardly carrying Loki’s Asgardian leathers and followed by a woman in a long white coat. “Good afternoon, Mr. Odinson,” said the woman, flipping through the papers in her hand and not so much as glancing at him, “My name is Dr. Shafer. Your nurse tells me you would like to refuse treatment, is that correct?”
“As you can see, Healer, I am perfectly well. I would appreciate the swift return of my belongings so I may dress and be on my way.”
“Yes, well, your vitals appear strong—those we were able to check, anyway. Your heart rate appears a bit slow, but considering you were recently through a rather traumatic event it’s not entirely surprising. You’ll just need to sign this release, agreeing to follow up with your primary care physician within a week, and you’re free to go.”
Loki snatched the writing implement from her outstretched hand and scrawled his name on the paper she indicated. He thought briefly about using a pseudonym, but decided it would cause more harm than good. Clearly, his attackers had already identified him to the healers, so lying would only lead to further confusion and explanations.
Sometimes the best lie was the truth.
At long last, Loki found himself dressed in his armor and standing under the blazing Midgardian sun outside of the healing facility. Now what? Robbed of his seidr, Loki did the only thing his newly-mortal body could. He walked.
Notes:
Each chapter title is drawn from relevant song lyrics - I'll share the specific song here at the end of each chapter! For this one, it's "Skyfall" by Adele
Chapter Text
The more Darcy assured herself she was good with weird, the more it felt like an outright lie. There was a big difference between the kind of weird that got you picked last in gym class and the kind of weird that involved strange men dressed like gladiators falling out of the sky.
Because that’s exactly the kind of weird that was staring back at her from the photos she just printed out from last night’s escapade. A cloud of orange and red, swirling and storming around a solitary figure that was definitely human—or human-ish. What gave the specter a truly sinister effect was the eyes—those haunted green eyes that she couldn’t seem to shake from her thoughts, blown wide with shock, rage, and absolute terror. They were undeniably the eyes of the man they had left at the hospital several hours earlier. The eyes of Loki Odinson.
“Hey, uh, Jane? I think you’re gonna want to see this,” Darcy called over her shoulder to her boss. Jane and Erik stepped up beside her, and it only took a moment for Jane to come alive with renewed purpose.
“I think I left something at the hospital,” Jane mumbled, already making a beeline for the door with Erik Selvig close on her heels. With one last glance at the incriminating photograph, Darcy snatched up the car keys from the hook by the door and hurried after her colleagues.
“He did what ?!” Jane stammered in shock.
“Mr. Odinson checked himself out…” the nurse replied, flipping through her clipboard with apparent disinterest, “Over an hour ago. He didn’t seem to be expecting anyone to pick him up and just wandered down the street. Are you his next of kin?”
“N-no…” Jane replied weakly, “I’m his…well…nevermind. Thanks anyway.” She turned dejectedly back to the hospital entrance and dragged herself slowly out the sliding doors—the very picture of utter defeat.
Jane was always too hard on herself. Despite being only five years her senior, Jane had accomplished more in her post-graduate life than Darcy expected to over her entire career. She had a pristine academic record, countless awards, and probably job offers from every physics lab in the country, astro or otherwise. Yet she was devoted to this work, even when others called her crazy. Even when it meant being treated as a pariah in the academic sphere—an eccentric with strange ideas.
Jane’s lack of support for her research also added up to a notable lack of funding, which was why the lab doubled as their residence for the duration of their time in Puente Antiguo. A sane person would get a house and convert the garage into a lab , mulled Darcy when she first beheld the bare-bones observatory-turned-research facility that would be her home throughout the internship, Not convert laboratory storage closets into bedrooms .
Erik—not being a starving college student on an internship like Darcy—had the financial stability to stay in a nearby hotel for his visit. Some people had all the luck.
Despite her initial shortcomings about Jane’s housing choices, Darcy admired her immensely. She also knew how much it crushed Jane to fail with a potential breakthrough so near at hand.
“Hey, it’s just a set-back,” Darcy reassured her boss-slash-bestie, “We’re in Puente Antiguo, not San Francisco. I’m sure someone will have noticed a guy walking around in dirty larping gear.”
Jane gave her an unamused look, but Darcy caught a spark of rekindled hope in her eyes.
“How about this? It’s been a long day. And night. I barely slept, and I know for a fact that you were crunching numbers until your eyes popped out of their sockets and you had to ease them back in with a gallon of coffee. Why don’t I drop you and Erik back at the lab to wrap things up and maybe sleep a little, and I’ll go pick up some groceries for dinner. Latkes sound good?”
Jane’s expression softened to one of fond appreciation at Darcy’s offer of good-old-fashioned Jewish hospitality. She loved when Darcy cooked—even if it was limited to what she could make with a frying pan and a deluxe hot plate. Darcy’s cooking was one of the few indulgences that could convince Jane to pull away from her research long enough to decompress.
“Yeah, okay,” Jane conceded with a faint smile, “Let’s head back.”
The drive home was short and quiet, with Darcy making a mental shopping list, Erik looking about ready to pass out from exhaustion, and Jane buzzing with an urge to jump out the back door and start asking anyone who would listen if they’d seen a tall sexy man in green and gold armor.
Darcy had barely finished parking before Jane was out of the car and fumbling to unlock the laboratory door, clearly having rediscovered her vigor. Darcy grabbed Erik’s jacket to stop him before he stepped out of the car and asked him to try and convince Jane to take a nap. He gave her a pointed look that clearly said, I’ll try, but you know she won’t listen before following his protégé inside.
“This is so worth more than six college credits,” Darcy complained to the clear blue skies, shifting the van into reverse and pulling back out onto Puente Antiguo’s singular highway.
Loki learned the power of intellect when he was just a youngling. Being smaller than Thor and his friends—not to mention other children who were actually his age—left Loki rather defenseless in a realm that favored might above all else. The ability to spin tales and weave conversations to achieve his desires had served him well in his one thousand years.
Once, when Thor’s friends were being particularly cruel to the “bothersome little tag-along,” Loki sought his revenge by convincing Fandral that the Warriors Three had been invited to attend Odin’s war council. It wasn’t until the three Asgardians burst through the door of the council and saw Odin’s furrowed brow and Thor’s face flushing red with embarrassment that they realized the truth of the matter. Being second son to the king of Asgard, Loki of course had been in attendance as well and relished in Fandral’s stammered apologies as he ushered his friends rapidly back out of the chamber. It became notably less enjoyable when they actually were invited to attend war councils, of course.
Despite being named “the god of mischief,” Loki never found it difficult to get what he desired with a few words from his silver tongue. Mischief was for pleasure, not often for personal gain. Even the great and wise Odin had trusted him implicitly until Loki so chose to reveal his betrayal in a fit of vengeance.
The Midgardians were not so easily beguiled or readily trusting, it would seem.
Loki had entered nearly every building in this gods-forsaken village and had yet to earn himself so much as a crumb of bread or a mat to sleep on. The moment anyone learned he had no coin to barter with, he was cast out on the street like so much refuse. It was beyond insulting for any god, let alone one second in line to the throne of Asgard.
Well…ex-second in line , Loki mused bitterly.
The heat felt more oppressive than any Loki had encountered in all the nine realms, but he couldn’t bring himself to abandon the layers of leather and metal that sweltered him. Loki tried to convince himself the breastplate, greaves, and coat were simply meaningless relics of a past best forgotten, even as he found himself incapable of disposing of them for the sake of bodily comfort. Once more, he yearned for the convenience of simply storing unneeded items away in his pocket dimension.
Reaching the very edge of the town, Loki at last came upon an establishment that held promise. Through a wall of glass, Loki could see dozens of shelves laden with a variety of foods in strange containers and packaging. Midgardians entered empty-handed and exited with carts or baskets overflowing with more food than they could possibly intend to consume that day. Wasteful creatures .\
Although he was without the coin these mortals were so obsessed with, Loki was nothing if not resourceful. If his silver tongue wouldn’t work, Loki had alternative means of achieving his goals.
Darcy grumbled internally as she reluctantly scooped up a bag of russet potatoes—the only variety available in this teeny little grocery store. Per her mother’s recipe, she always used Yukon Gold to make latkes, because no other variety gave them the same buttery taste. Just wait until Jane gets to try my mom’s latkes , Darcy pondered before quickly reminding herself she was mad at her parents and had no plans to introduce Jane to them any time soon.
After collecting the rest of the ingredients and a bottle of cheap wine, Darcy headed to the checkout line and greeted the owner, who doubled as the cashier more often than not.
“Hola, Darcy! Are you cooking again tonight?”
“Come on, Gabe, when was the last time you saw Jane come in here for more than coffee or a bag of chips? I’m the only thing keeping that woman from extinction at this point.”
The grocer bellowed a laugh of agreement as he handed Darcy her change, “Well, don’t be a stranger! I know you academic types don’t tend to stay long in one place, but the missus and I would still love to treat you girls to some real Puente Antiguo hospitality when you have the time.”
“Thanks, Gabe,” Darcy smiled as she scooped her groceries into her cloth grocery bags, “I’ll, uh, talk to Jane about it.” With an awkward wave, Darcy turned quickly to head out the door and ran smack into a wall of muscle and leather.
“Crap, sorry there, pal,” Darcy stammered, then froze as she looked up into a pair of familiar green eyes. “Oh hey! We’ve been looking everywhere for you!”
Loki stood mid-exit with one arm holding the door ajar and the other gripping a loaf of bread, and the look he gave her said in no uncertain terms that the pleasure was not his.
“Hey, you planning to pay for that, amigo?” Gabe demanded, all the warmth gone from his tone as he glared at the obvious thief.
With a smirk of distaste, Loki shoved his way out the door and vanished with uncanny speed down the street.
Cursing her ever-changing luck, Darcy tossed enough cash to cover Loki’s stolen goods on the counter with a word of apology to Gabe before pursuing him out the door.
Barreling down the block, Loki ducked into a dark alley and hid himself behind a refuse bin. It was perhaps the most humiliating thing he had ever done, and it was the most Loki yearned for his seidr since arriving in this pathetic excuse for a realm. If he only had his power, he could have made himself invisible. Or shapeshifted into another form to disguise his escape. Or simply brainwashed the foolish mortals into treating him with the respect a prince of Asgard deserved.
Or made them tremble in fear at the monster I truly am.
Shaking off the shame at his unseemly circumstances, Loki took a ravenous bite of the crusty, dry loaf he had managed to make off with. The bread scraped at his parched throat as it went down, causing his chest to ache with thirst. He began to rise, determined to find refreshment to accompany his meal, when he heard footsteps drawing near.
Flicking his wrists to either side, Loki attempted to summon his daggers on instinct before agonizing pain reminded him that this wasn’t an option. The feeling of grasping for something he knew was there but couldn’t quite reach left him hollow.
With only his now-mortal strength for defense, Loki pressed himself into the shadows to await the approaching stranger. As soon as the footsteps sounded within his reach, Loki leapt forth, grabbing the figure by the throat and pressing it against the alley wall.
The figure shrieked in surprise before looking at him with increasingly familiar pale blue eyes, “Woah, dude. Ever heard of consent?” joked the young woman, humor and fear giving her voice an almost manic quality. She raised one hand in a sign of surrender, but the other stayed at her side, clinging to a collection of bags that appeared stretched with the weight of their contents.
When Loki made no move to release or attack her further, the girl cleared her throat and raised the bags in demonstration, “I uh…thought maybe you’d be hungry for more than a little bread? I’m making latkes tonight. Not that you’d know what those are unless you’re Jewish. You’re not Jewish are you? I guess not, considering I’m pretty sure you’re an alien from outer space. Uuuuh…well latkes are really good, and I got some wine too, which is this really good red drink that comes from—”
“I know what wine is,” Loki snapped, interrupting the mortal’s incessant rambling and looking her over warily before slowly releasing his grip and taking a step back. “You would invite a stranger to dine with you? One who you just witnessed in the act of thievery?”
“I mean, in your defense, you did just fall from the sky yesterday. I’m guessing you don’t have any money—let alone a credit card. Though you did just acknowledge you were stealing, so I guess they must have consequences for that sort of thing where you come from too.”
Loki grinned evilly. “Usually it would result in the culprit losing a hand. If they get caught, of course.”
“Wow, that’s…uh…kinda harsh?” The girl visibly shivered. “Don’t worry, though. I paid for it, so you’re good! No jail time or…um…hand-losing for you today. Anyway, I’m not exactly offering food for free. Jane and Erik—the other two who were with me when we found you? They sort of have some questions about the crazy storm you fell out of. So I figured you might be willing to indulge them in exchange for food and a place to crash?”
“I think I experienced my share of ‘crashing’ when I landed here yesterday,” Loki responded sarcastically.
“No, what I meant was—wow, okay. Speaks English but doesn’t get modern colloquialisms. Got it. I mean if you need a place to stay and something to eat, we can help you out if you don’t mind just telling us more about how you ended up out there last night?”
Loki stared down at the mortal, considering. She certainly didn’t look like a threat. Her dark brown hair tumbled over her shoulders in a thick, wavy mass. She was more than a foot shorter than he was and had a kind face. Her curvy figure was not… unappealing to look at. And those eyes…full of life, but carrying a hint of sorrow that Loki found oddly familiar and comforting.
He certainly had no intentions of telling these mortals his life story, but being the God of Lies wasn’t without its uses. “Very well,” Loki acquiesced, drawing himself up with a regal air, “I shall accompany you to your residence.”
“Really? Great! Jane will be stoked! I’m Darcy Lewis, by the way. Sorry for the whole hitting you with a car and then tazing you thing. I mean, the car thing was totally Jane’s fault, but sorry anyway.”
Loki made no attempt to hide his distaste at the reminder that this woman had been able to incapacitate him with no more than a small black box of lightning. Despite his evident dislike for the mortal—all mortals, really—his options were rather limited.
“Aaaand you’re Loki, right? I mean, that’s what you said last night. Loki Odinson? That sounds familiar—Norse, yeah? Are you named after the Norse God of Mischief?”
“I am the God of Mischief, you ignorant mortal. And it’s just Loki.”
“Well, Just Loki, I’m Just Darcy. Not Ignorant Mortal. And like I said before, I’m Jewish, so sorry if I’m not super familiar with your royal godliness.” Clearly not enjoying their conversation anymore, the mortal—Darcy turned swiftly on her heel and walked out of the alley, calling over her shoulder, “Come on, the car’s this way.”
Hesitating just long enough for Darcy to turn around the corner and out of sight, Loki let loose a frustrated sigh before following after the infuriating woman, his hunger and thirst ultimately winning out over his pride.
A lone figure in a conspicuously tidy black suit watched the pair exit the alley and make their way toward a rickety old van. Sidling back around the corner to a large black SUV, the man put a phone to his ear. “Sir, we found him.”
Notes:
Song Inspiration: "Andromeda" by Weyes Blood
Chapter Text
Though not regal by any stretch of the word, Loki couldn’t help his appreciation of the advancements in mortal transportation since his last venture to Midgard in the 1970s. Though from the diatribe of apologies Darcy grumbled with every abrupt stop or bump along the way, Loki had to assume this wasn’t the most quality of vehicles on Midgard.
“So, small talk?” Darcy stammered, “That’s a thing. Um…I’d ask where you’re from and all that, but I’d hate to make you repeat yourself when we get to the lab. You got any questions for me, though?”
Loki was full of questions indeed, though most of these revolved around events far outside of the scope of this mortal’s understanding. Why did his fa— Odin take him from Jotunheim? Did his real parents cast him out? Given his brief experience with the monsters and the stories he heard growing up, it wouldn’t be surprising to find his true sire abandoned him, being such a pathetically small frost giant.
Noticing Darcy Lewis shifting uncomfortably at his long silence, Loki thought up a safe question to ease the tension, “These other mortals—Jane Foster and Erik Selvig—They are your kin?”
Scoffing in apparent surprise, Darcy Lewis blurted, “Dude, can you imagine? Talk about a disappointment in a family of geniuses. No, Jane’s my boss. Erik is too, sort of. Though really, he’s more of Jane’s mentor. I’m not normally into all this sciencey-spacey stuff, but I needed a…distraction. Something to fill my time until school starts back up.”
Fortunately, the Allspeak translated this more plain conversation much better than the strange turns of phrase Darcy seemed so fond of. “So you are a scholar, but not of a kind with your companions?” Loki inquired further, “What is it you find more fascinating than Miss Foster’s ‘sciencey-spacey stuff?’”
Darcy slammed the car to an abrupt stop at an intersection of the roads, turning to look at Loki with shock. “Wow…I sound way more idiotic when you repeat it back to me in that Holier-than-thou way of yours. Anyway, I study political science. You know, governments and rulers and laws, that sort of thing? Got anything like that where you’re from?”
“Yes,” Loki responded darkly, yet again reminded of his reason for being in this situation in the first place, “I am familiar with the concept.”
“Let me guess…monarchy? Or oligarchy, maybe? I really don’t know much about Norse mythology. Oh, here we are! Home sweet laboratory.”
The building Darcy stopped the car in front of was certainly no palace, and it did not appear to be much of a home either. The building was covered in the same dust that littered everyone and everything in this town, with floor-to-ceiling glass windows exposing much of the inside for Loki to analyze. He could see a large open space full of mortal technology and several mismatched tables and chairs. There was what looked like a sparse food preparation area along the back wall, with the rest of the space disappearing behind another wall to the right—likely the living quarters. Loki could make out the silhouettes of two mortals leaning over one of the many tables, intent on the books, papers, and miscellaneous strange objects laid out before them.
Darcy sighed as she surveyed her companions before scooping up the bags of food and motioning for Loki to follow her, “I knew Jane wouldn’t actually rest like I told her to. Come on then, if they’re not gonna work then they might as well keep you entertained while I whip up dinner.”
Loki exited the car and followed Darcy up the two stone steps to the door, watching as she fumbled to fit a key to the lock while toting the many bags hung on her wrists. Not because he was kind, but because watching her struggle was simply bothersome, Loki reached out to gently remove the bags from her wrists. As he did so, his cool hands brushed her much warmer ones, sending an obvious shiver up her spine.
Loki felt in her touch the same warm light she always carried in those striking eyes of hers, which he had the pleasure of studying again as they gazed at one another for but a moment. What Loki found so gripping about Darcy’s eyes wasn’t their beauty—though lovely they were, one could not deny—but their…surreal brightness. Her eyes were the lightest of blues in any mortal he had yet to meet, filled with such energy and joy even when she was clearly upset or uncomfortable. They held a familiar quality Loki couldn’t quite place, but it brought him comfort in a world full of so much that was foreign.
Before he could study them further, Darcy cleared her throat and turned back to the task at hand. Unlocking the door, she flung it open and shouted, “Hey Janeeeeey, I got you a present! Look who I found wandering the streets!”
Watching recognition come over Jane’s face at the sight of Loki walking into the house behind Darcy was like watching a kid who just got a puppy for Christmas. Seriously, this woman was dedicated to her work if just the sight of a complete stranger walking into her house with arms full of groceries brought her so much excitement. Sure, he was probably an alien. Maybe even a god, if he was to be believed. But still.
“Darcy, you’re amazing! Do you know where he came from? Do you think he’ll let me run a few tests? I mean, nothing major, I’m no doctor or biologist but if he wouldn’t mind—”
Darcy turned as Loki derisively responded, “ He has a name you would do well to use, Miss Foster. And he can speak for himself.”
Jane stuttered a moment before replying, “Oh, right, sorry. So you’re…British? I’m guessing you’re not from around here, then?”
Loki scoffed yet again, replying with a short, “Certainly not” before turning to Darcy and holding up the bags, “Where shall I…”
“Oh, of course! Right over here!” Darcy led Loki past the work area to the sorry excuse for a kitchen she managed to throw together after Jane first showed her where they’d be staying. Dumping the groceries on the counter, Loki turned back to Jane with apparent resignation.
“Well, Miss Foster, I believe I promised Miss Lewis I would answer your questions in exchange for food and lodging. Ask what you will.”
Darcy politely directed her attention toward heating oil on the hot plate and grating potatoes while she less politely kept an ear trained on the conversation. After all, it wasn’t every day you got to meet someone from… not -Earth.
Jane hesitated for maybe half a second before her curiosity got the better of her. “Well, I guess my main question is…who are you, exactly?”
Loki shrugged innocently and replied, “I am but a weary traveler who seems to have been in the wrong place at the wrong time. I seem to have lost my way, but a hot meal and a good night’s rest will certainly set things to rights and I will be out of your hair come morning.”
“Yeah, sorry to break it to you buddy, but I don’t think she’s buying that one,” Darcy whispered as she set the shredded potatoes to soak and moved on to dicing and sautéing the onions. Just as Darcy issued this warning, Jane stomped over and held up the incriminating photo. The photo that depicted a man literally falling from the sky. The photo that captured those haunting green eyes that could belong to none other than the man who stood before them, face utterly impassive despite the new information laid out before him.
Darcy watched from the corner of her eye as Loki deliberated his next move. Seeming to decide on honesty (to a point), he responded, “My name is Loki…Odinson. Prince of Asgard.” He seemed to be telling the truth now, based on what he had told her on the drive over, but Darcy could tell he had his guard up still. He wasn’t going to tell them everything, but at least this was a start.
Erik didn’t seem quite so trusting. “ Loki? Asgard? Those are nothing but children’s stories! Norse fairy tales! You cannot honestly expect us to believe you.”
“Very well,” Loki countered, leaning back against the counter next to Darcy and crossing his arms, “By all means. Who do you think could withstand a journey through the Bifrost, getting run over by one of your ‘cars,’ and then struck by lightning and survive to tell the tale? Who is it you think I am, mortal, that you would be so very desperate to speak with me?”
“Dude, I just tased you,” Darcy mumbled, tossing the onions in the frying pan. “Pretty sure a lightning strike would feel a whole lot worse.”
Loki’s faint chuckle gave Darcy the odd feeling he would have a better point of comparison than her.
“Okay…okay. Say I believe you,” Jane said, “How did you get here? I would bet Asgard isn’t exactly close to New Mexico?”
“I was not lying when I said I was a traveler. I came through the Bifrost to this realm. It was not exactly a planned journey, or I surely would have been better prepared.”
“And what proof do you have of this absurd tale you’re weaving?” Erik snapped, clearly agitated and convinced Loki was just messing with them at this point. Loki just shrugged and turned to watch Darcy add scoops of batter to the heated oil of the pan. Darcy tried not to let her distraction show as she fried the latkes, flipping the finished cakes onto a plate as she went.
“I have no reason to lie, nor do I have any reason to prove my identity to you mortals. You asked for answers in exchange for accommodations, so answers I am providing,” Loki turned to look Erik in the eye, arms spread wide and a wicked smile stretching across his face, “Whether or not you believe what I say is entirely up to you.”
“Bifrost,” Jane interrupted, “You’ve said that twice now. What exactly is it? A portal?”
“More of a bridge, really,” Loki responded, casual as ever, “A connection between realms.” Loki reached across Darcy to pluck a latke from the plate where they were cooling, earning a glare from the busy chef as she reached to snatch it back from him.
“Nuh-uh, mister. No food until everything’s ready, then we all eat together.”
“You would have me starve, then? How cruel you mortals are.”
Loki suddenly tensed, his entire demeanor shifting from playful to guarded at the sound of tires on the gravel in front of the lab. Darcy turned to look out the windows as Jane swore under her breath. “Why are there three sketchy black SUVs pulling up in front of my lab?”
All of the SUV doors burst open simultaneously as a flood of armed soldiers in black combat gear poured out and made for the front door of the lab.
Notes:
Song Inspiration: "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons (Bullet for My Valentine's cover, specifically)
Chapter Text
Before Darcy could react, Loki’s grip on her wrist tightened as he jerked her down the hall and into her bedroom, noiselessly closing the door behind them. He pressed her against the door with a hand clamped over her mouth, the other clinging painfully to her wrist which still held the stolen latke.
With a wicked grin, Loki slowly released her wrist, bringing his finger to his lips in the universal sign for quiet. At Darcy’s eye roll and nod of understanding, Loki removed his other hand from her mouth, but he did not move from his tense position, continuing to trap her between him and the door as he cocked his head to listen to the events outside of the room.
“What’s going on here?” Jane’s muffled voice resounded over the cacophony of shuffling feet and cocking guns.
“Miss Foster, I’m Agent Coulson with SHIELD.” This new voice had a calm quality that felt extremely out of place given the circumstances.
“Is that supposed to mean something to me?”
Darcy could make out the low resonance of Erik saying something placating to Jane, but couldn’t quite make out the words. Does he know these people?
“We’re investigating a security threat. Where is the man who calls himself Loki Odinson?”
Needing no further confirmation that he was the target of these invaders, Loki pulled away from Darcy at last, making his way across the room toward the window that overlooked miles of barren New Mexico desert behind the lab. It didn’t take him long to undo the locking mechanism, slide it open, and pop out the screen. With one leg already out the window, Loki seemed to hesitate for a moment before looking back at Darcy.
Unsure what exactly he wanted from her, Darcy only nodded reassuringly. He was gone before she had a chance to do more than that. Good luck finding somewhere to hide out in the middle of nowhere, dude, Darcy worried to herself as she turned to exit the room, Time for some damage control, I guess .
Opening her bedroom door, Darcy nearly walked right into two black-clad, heavily armed men preparing to knock it down. When they pushed past her with firearms at the ready, Darcy internally patted herself on the back for taking the time to replace the screen and shut the window, after her new acquaintance’s impromptu exit.
“Dude, you guys mind? This is my room,” Darcy feigned stunned irritation as she stormed out into the main part of the lab. There were similarly outfitted men and women everywhere , most of them also heavily armed and looking ready for a drug raid. The only one not dressed for a sting op was a middle-aged, balding man in a clean-cut suit who was currently engaging in a heated conversation with Jane. Well, Jane was heated—Mr. Suit was as calm as if he were giving a college lecture.
“What’s going on, Jane?” Darcy interrupted, acting oblivious in hopes that Jane hadn’t already mentioned Loki, “I go to the bathroom for five minutes and you let the mafia in? Wanna warn a girl?”
Jane turned to Darcy, relief evident in her eyes as she took in Loki’s absence, “These guys are supposedly looking for the man we dropped at the hospital last night, but they seem a lot more interested in stealing all of my work—careful, that took me weeks to build!”
“Jane, let it go,” Erik cut in.
“Let it go? This is my life!”
It broke Darcy’s heart to see all of Jane’s—all of their hard work being cleared out without their consent. They had been burning up in the desert for weeks already, and that was just the part of Jane’s research Darcy had been around for. This had been Jane’s passion project for years .
“As I already told you, Miss Foster, we require your records and atmospheric data to further research a threat to national security. Here, this should more than compensate you for your trouble.”
“I can’t just buy replacements at RadioShack. I made most of this equipment myself!”
“Then I’m sure you can do it again.”
Suddenly, this internship felt like a whole lot more than an excuse to escape her parents for the summer. These people had come after Jane, who was rapidly becoming one of her best friends. They were trying to arrest Loki when, as far as Darcy could tell, he was just as surprised to be here as they had been to find him the night before. What could he possibly have done to get the entirety of a secret government agency blasting down the door? No, this was more than an internship gone awry. This was personal .
“And I’m sure I can sue you for violating my constitutional rights!”
“I’m sorry Miss Foster. But we’re the good guys.”
“Oh sure you are,” Darcy cut in, having heard more than enough, “Cuz the good guys are known for breaking and entering, armed robbery, and calling a guy who was just hospitalized a ‘security threat.’”
The look that Mr. Suit gave Darcy made it clear he knew she hadn’t been out there for his earlier comment about the “security threat” investigation, but he didn’t call attention to it. “Miss Lewis, I understand you’re upset. But this is all much bigger than you realize. Your cooperation is greatly appreciated.” The man stepped forward and placed a small white business card on the counter next to Darcy, “If you do hear anything from Mr. Odinson, have him give us a call. We’ll be in touch.”
Darcy took this as a sign their work was finished—that and the fact that they’d pretty much gutted the place of everything except some old furniture and the charred remains of dinner, which someone had at the very least taken the time to remove from the hot plate.
The three researchers stood there in hollow silence as the last of the intruders filed out the door, loaded into their SUVs, and vanished down the road as quickly as they had appeared. Jane collapsed back into a chair, staring down at the scuffed floor as tears pooled in her eyes. Erik was still watching out the windows as if he expected Coulson and his men to change their minds and come back to shoot them up or arrest them at a moment’s notice.
Darcy looked around, desperate to find something, anything they might have left behind. There was nothing. The papers, the computers, the equipment. Everything was gone. “Aw man!” Darcy blurted in a moment of childish disappointment, “They even took my iPod!”
While it didn’t bring so much as a grimace to Jane’s face, it did at last awake her from her stupor. Looking around to make sure they were finally alone, Jane turned to Darcy. “Where is he?”
Darcy shrugged and motioned for the others to follow her out the back door. “Beats me, he just booked it out the window as soon as they said his name. I don’t think he’d go far though.” Darcy stepped out into the heat of the setting sun, shielding her eyes against the glare as she searched the horizon for their new acquiantance.
“Hey Jeebs, you can come out now,” Darcy shouted across the desert, hoping he hadn’t gone far, “The Men in Black are gone!”
“ What did you just call me?”
Darcy turned back to the lab to see Loki propelling himself down from the roof in an inhumanly graceful manner, startling a still-jumpy Erik who had only just begun walking away from the door.
Darcy couldn’t help chuckling in relief that Loki had managed to evade detection, “Don’t worry about it, space boy. So…seems like they managed to take everything except our special guest. Now what?”
Loki had been making to approach Darcy, but at this he stopped and smiled smugly, “Well…they didn’t precisely take everything .” Reaching into his coat, Loki produced a worn black notebook and held it out to Jane, “I believe this is yours?”
“My notebook! Where…how did you—”
“Well…I didn’t precisely take it to protect it,” Loki somehow managed to look guilty and simultaneously like he felt he was the most clever being in the universe, “I was curious about your research, particularly in regards to myself. So I thought I’d borrow it for a time.”
Darcy outright laughed at this point, “Wow, you really are a thief, aren’t you? Nice pickpocket skills—Jane never puts that thing down.” Jane, to her credit, was far too enthralled in flipping through the sole remains of her research to care that Loki had stolen it initially for his own selfish purposes. Erik was not so forgiving.
“We shouldn’t be helping him. He just confessed to stealing, and with SHIELD involved…Jane, we have to turn him in. It’s not safe to keep him with us.”
“You dare speak of me like another piece of research to be tossed aside? I am not your property , Mr. Selvig, and no one will send me where I do not wish to go.”
“Well someone did, or we wouldn’t be in this mess, now would we?” Erik bit back, suddenly growing a spine in the wake of Loki’s temper, “You don’t wanna go with them, fine. But we can’t help you anymore. You’re on your own.”
“Woah, woah, woah,” Darcy interjected, placing herself firmly between the two men, “Back it up, guys. You’re both pretty. And let’s not just jump to abandoning each other so quickly, alright? Loki could be very important to Jane’s research, but he’s also a person . And I don’t know about you, but I don’t trust those guys to treat him like one with the way they busted in as if they owned the place.”
“They called him a security threat for a reason. I didn’t believe it at first, but with SHIELD involved…you call him a person, but he’s not human , Darcy.”
“That’s what the Nazis said about my people 70 years ago,” Darcy replied coldly. Extreme as the comment was, it at least got everyone to shut up finally. Well, everyone who was familiar with world history, that is.
“You seem quite familiar with this ‘SHIELD,’ Mr. Selvig,” Loki uttered coolly, “Care to elaborate on your history with them?”
Finally losing steam, Erik relaxed his shoulders with a sigh. “I’ve never actually worked with them before, but I have colleagues who do…or have. All I know is that if they’re involved, it’s usually bad news and well out of my wheelhouse. I’d heard they were getting more and more involved with extraterrestrial activity, but never took it seriously before now.” Erik turned to Loki with his palms open placatingly, “I’m not trying to make this personal, Odinson. But we’re just a small band of university researchers. We really can’t help you, and it’s safer for all of us to just go our separate ways.”
Despite his clear attempts to mask it, Darcy could see the sting in Loki’s expression at Erik’s gentle dismissal. With a sharp nod, Loki turned his back on them and began to make his way out into the desert.
“Loki, wait,” Jane attempted to put her hand on his arm as he passed by, but he roughly shrugged it off.
“It looks like you are no longer capable of upholding your end of the bargain, Miss Foster. Those men will surely return soon and I intend to be well away from here before they do.”
“And where are you planning on going, Oh Clever One?” Darcy cut in sarcastically, “And how do you plan on getting there? Puente Antiguo is miles from the next town. Miles of hot, dry desert. Sure, you’ll avoid the creepy government dudes, but you’ll die of heat exhaustion in the process.”
“I’ve been caring for myself longer than you’ve been alive, Miss Lewis. I assure you, I will be fine.”
Considering for a moment, Darcy finally turned to Jane and Erik and bluntly declared, “I quit.”
“Wait, what?” Jane responded, “You can’t quit , Darcy. It’s not even a paying job. And just because my equipment is gone doesn’t mean your internship is—”
“I know, Janie, but some things are more important than six college credits. A lot of things are more important than six college credits. And I’m not gonna let our new friend die in the desert or get dissected in a lab that isn’t yours, so I’m going with him.”
“Darcy, don’t be foolish—”
“I’m not being foolish, Erik. I’m not even majoring in astrophysics, for crying out loud! I’ve got my own car parked just down the street, and I’ve got plenty of savings since most of my tuition got covered by scholarships. I’m gonna help Loki get his new life figured out, and then I’ll see you back at Culver in a couple months. Sound good? Good. Because I may be a college kid, but I am legally an adult and will do as I please. Come on, Loki, I’ll just grab my things and then we can go.”
Evidently too shocked by her grand declaration of support to speak, Loki silently followed Darcy away from the flabbergasted research duo.
Loki sat on the edge of Darcy’s bed as she ran around, throwing clothes and books in a large bag. He honestly didn’t know why he was still here. Yes, this woman had defended him and offered him aid, but since when did he turn to others for help? Since I was forcibly transformed into a powerless, weak mortal, I suppose.
He knew his seidr wasn’t gone, of course. No sorcerer could ever completely lose something so integral to their person. He could feel it, deep within his core. It was bound, tortured, desperate to break free. The more he dwelt on it, the more he felt the same. So he made it a point not to.
“Miss Lewis…why are you helping me, really?”
Loki watched as Darcy halted for a moment before continuing to stuff clothing in her oversized knapsack, “I don’t know. I guess I’ve never been good at ignoring a lost puppy when I see one.”
“I am not a lost puppy,” Loki replied darkly, though he knew she had made the comment in jest. It seemed very little of what this mortal said was serious. With one noteworthy exception.
“You spoke of a group you called Nazis. They terrorized your people?”
Darcy sighed as she sealed her bag closed and flopped down on the bed next to him, “Yeah, that was probably a little harsh of me to say to Erik back there. The Nazis were a crazy and extremist political party in Germany back in the 40s. Their leader, Adolf Hitler, had a vendetta against Jews and other races and peoples he considered ‘unclean.’ He and his people locked up and mass murdered millions of people before they were stopped. We call it the Holocaust.”
“I’m…sorry.”
Darcy shrugged as she stood and scooped up her bag, “Don’t be. It was a long time ago and it’s not like it was your fault. The good guys won, so it’s all good now. My family even managed to escape capture by hiding in a friend’s attic for most of the war. I mean, I didn’t—I wasn’t even alive yet. I don’t even know if I am Jewish anymore, so there’s that too…”
Before Loki could ask what Darcy meant by this last statement, there was a soft knock on the door. “Darce?” Jane Foster asked timidly as she slowly pushed the door open, “Can I come in?”
“Sure Jane, what’s up?”
“I just wanted to let you know, you’ll get those college credits, okay? It’s not much, all things considered, but you helped me more than you know, and Culver doesn’t have to find out we’re wrapping things up early.”
“You really think Professor Selvig out there is gonna back you up on that?”
“Yes,” Jane declared firmly, “I’ll make sure of it. Just…stay safe, okay? And call me when you get to…where are you going, exactly?”
“Honestly? Not a clue. Figured we’d just get an hour or two out of Puente Antiguo and find a place to crash and come up with a more long-term solution. Unless you have any ideas?”
Darcy turned to Loki at this point, who shrugged nonchalantly. “I’m more interested in letting this play out and seeing what solutions you can contrive.”
“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence. Well tonight, we’ll just try to make it to Albuquerque and find a cheap motel or something. I’ll call you when we get there, alright?”
Loki left the two women to their goodbyes and headed out to the car, making no effort to stop and converse with Erik Selvig.
Leaning against the front of the vehicle Darcy had claimed as hers—a much smaller but no less weathered model than the one he had encountered thus far—Loki turned his face up to gaze upon the stars. Their formations were completely different from those on Asgard, and there were so few of them by comparison. He couldn’t even seek comfort in knowing his loved ones might be looking at the same sky…not that he had many loved ones left. Not Thor. Certainly not Odin. Frigga, perhaps…
For the first time since his banishment, Loki allowed himself to reflect on everything that had happened to him. All the lies he had been told by the ones who were supposed to care for him the most. All the tricks he had pulled, and how far he had allowed his jealousy of Thor to take him. How it felt to know that the truest thing he ever felt was alone. Different. Unworthy .
Notes:
Song Inspiration: Count on Me by Bruno Mars
Chapter Text
They had been driving for almost an hour, and Loki had not uttered a single word since they left the lab. Although she normally was the type to fill silence at all costs, Darcy didn’t mind the quiet. She could tell Loki needed the space, and she kinda did too, if she was totally honest with herself.
Darcy still had no idea what she was doing. She had always been such a good little Jewish girl. Straight A student. Went to synagogue every week. Never mixed with the bad crowd and was always home before 10pm. Even in college, without her parents supervision and rules, Darcy always took care to be with the right people and in the right situations. She didn’t like drama and didn’t like getting in trouble, so she steered clear of anything that might bring unwanted risk or danger.
And yet here she was, road tripping across New Mexico with a dude she’d known for less than 24 hours. A dude who she was about 90% sure really was an alien from another planet.
Either the bomb her parents dropped on her over the holidays really seemed to be taking its toll, or Darcy was officially certifiably insane. Or maybe she just couldn’t turn a blind eye to someone in need.
He may not have said a whole lot about who he was or why he showed up in New Mexico of all places, but Loki clearly needed help. He pushed away everyone who offered so much as a kind smile, kept his guard up constantly, and didn’t have a penny to his name. Nowhere to live. No one to turn to. How could she just abandon him to an aggressive battalion of armed soldiers who seemed more likely to turn him into a science project than actually help him?
There was also something oddly relatable about him. Darcy was more of the open book type, but ever since finding out her mom and dad weren’t her real mom and dad—biologically speaking—it was hard to be so trusting as before. She didn’t know what had Loki so guarded and wary of everyone he met, but it was a feeling she knew all too well from recent months. And in her personal experience, not knowing who to trust seriously sucked.
And that brought things back to the present situation. Why exactly did Darcy trust him so much, given her own trust issues? Empathy for his emotional damage wasn’t a particularly logical reason to throw caution to the wind like this. Don’t-go-on-road-trips-with-strange-men was Being Female 101.
As if reading her mind, Loki finally broke the silence. “I’m beginning to think you do not care much for your personal wellbeing, Miss Lewis.”
“What?”
“This is the second time you have put yourself in a vulnerable situation with a man you hardly know. What if I’m not the innocent you paint me to be? What if I’m everything Erik Selvig and all those warriors fear me to be? A security threat. ”
Darcy pondered this for a second—still wondering the same thing herself—but eventually just shrugged and answered, “You’re not.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because…I know a hurting person when I see one.”
Loki looked taken aback, but quickly schooled his features, “Being a hurting person does not inherently make someone safe. But as I told you before, I am not a charity case.”
“I didn’t say you were. I said you’re hurting. You don’t have to talk about it, but you just seem like a guy who got stuck in a tough situation and could use a little support. I’m not saying I’ll buy you a house or anything—I’m a dirt poor college student—but I can help you find a new place to start if that’s what you want. I get the feeling you don’t have anywhere else to go?”
“Quite the astute observer, aren’t you?” Loki bit back.
“And your family? They’re all still on…Asgard?”
Loki was silent for a long moment, unmoving. “I have no family,” he finally whispered, so quietly Darcy almost didn’t hear it.
The rest of the drive was as quiet as it began.
The quality of residence these mortals selected just got worse the longer he was here. At least Jane Foster’s lab was clean . The establishment Darcy stopped at looked like the perfect hideout for the worst of criminals. Fitting , Loki mused as he shielded his eyes against the blinding neon glow of the sign that read “Vacancy.”
Loki swept out of his seat as soon as Darcy finished parking, moving to the trunk and hoisting out her bag before Darcy had fully exited the vehicle.
“Oh, thanks. Sorry it’s so heavy, pretty much got my whole life in there. What’s not back in my apartment at Culver, anyway.”
Loki gave no more than a curt nod as he gestured impatiently for Darcy to lead the way. Despite preferring the more authoritative role, Loki was still embarrassingly unfamiliar with Midgardian customs (though notably more educated on the subject than a certain buffoon he knew). And, for lack of a better word, he was poor .
The filthy glass doors screeched open automatically at their approach, and Loki followed Darcy past a small group of transients and up to the counter, where a young man in an unkempt uniform sat half-asleep with his head rested in his palm, clearly not any more eager about being there than Loki was.
“Hey, checking in,” Darcy smiled at the clerk with all the energy of someone who hadn’t just spent the last few hours on the run from government officials, “Loki, do you want your own room or are you okay with just getting a double?”
Loki gave her a confused look. Did “two” and “double” not amount to virtually the same thing? “One room should suffice,” he responded, rather than griping about how terrible Migardian linguistics were. Thank the Norns for Allspeak.
The ruffians they had passed by on their way in were gradually drawing closer, shoving at one another and whispering none-too-quietly as they leered at Darcy. Loki didn’t need to tap into their pathetic minds with his seidr to know precisely what they were thinking.
After further chortling and cajoling from his companions, one of the mortals stepped up to the counter and rested his elbows on it, positioning himself so close to Darcy that their shoulders lightly brushed one another before she shrunk back, clearly uncomfortable with the newfound proximity.
Loki fumed at this show of disrespect, not just toward Darcy, but toward himself—the one who was clearly with her. Perhaps I need to make it even more apparent .
Crossing his arms, Loki stepped forward until his chest was pressed firmly against Darcy’s back and glared down at the much shorter man menacingly. The drunkard only made the briefest of eye contact before stumbling away from the pair, sheer terror plastered across his blotchy complexion. He quickly raised his hands in a sign of surrender before shuffling off back to his gang and ushering them all out the door.
Loki remained perfectly still behind Darcy long after they left, only stepping back when she had retrieved a set of keys from the other mortal and turned to face him. “Thanks for that,” she exhaled appreciatively, “I swear I don’t normally go for places like this, but if we’re going to be hopping from one town to the next for a bit I just wanna make sure I stretch my savings as much as possible. Come on, our room’s upstairs.”
Loki trailed his benefactor out the door and around the side of the building and up a set of creaking stairs that opened to a lengthy row of weathered doors. Darcy walked down the hall until she reached a door numbered 207. Though the metal 2 and 0 were still just barely intact, the 7 had apparently been lost to the ages and replaced with a poorly-drawn rendering in black ink. Darcy unlocked the door and pushed it open, having to apply pressure with her shoulder before it would budge.
“Well, here we are. A room fit for a king.”
Loki rolled his eyes at her attempted joke. “Hardly,” He drawled, handing over her bag when she reached for it this time. Darcy entered the room fully, dumping her bag on one of the two small beds and grimacing at the small cloud of dust that rose from the blankets as she did so.
“Okay, maybe next time we at least go for a Super 8.” As Darcy pulled out what Loki conjectured to be a Midgardian communication device—a new, portable form of the telephone—and gave Jane a quick call to let her know they’d arrived safely, Loki took in their new accommodations.
The room was sparsely furnished with only the two beds and a small table sporting a pair of rickety chairs. The only other area in their quarters was a wardrobe-sized washroom through a small door in the back wall. All the walls were technically white—though they could certainly use a good scrubbing—except for the one at the head of the beds, which sported a sickly orange color. The hard, sticky floor shined in a greasy way that made it quite clear it was not true wood, and there was a small black screen mounted in the opposing wall.
Darcy tossed her device onto the bed and turned to sort her belongings before turning abruptly to Loki, realization dawning on her face. “Oh crap, I forgot. You don’t have…well, anything, do you?”
Loki smirked at the absurd guilt written in her reddening cheeks. “No, I do not. It would appear I am rather at your mercy, Miss Lewis.” Loki deliberately slid his voice into a lower register that never failed to make Asgardian women weak at the knees (unless Thor was there to draw their eye instead).
Rather than turn even more red at the comment—as Loki intended—the blush dropped from Darcy’s cheeks and she instead rolled her eyes at the flirtation before glancing at a clock on the wall. “Well, it’s already midnight, so probably too late for a shopping trip. Think you can make do until morning?”
It was beginning to really grate on Loki’s nerves how she treated him like he was so helpless. But wasn’t he? Weren’t all mortals, when it came down to it? How could one be anything but helpless when given such a short lifespan and so little to defend themselves with. The first time he ventured to Midgard, it baffled Loki that the humans could even be sentient with such hollowness inside of them. Not so much as a drop of seidr among them.
And now he was effectively one of them, his seidr so tightly bound as to be effectively nonexistent.
Loki replied tersely, “This is not the first time I have been on a strange planet with naught but the clothes on my back, Miss Lewis”— I had the full power of my seidr at my disposal all the other times, but that’s beside the point —“I assure you, I can ‘make do’ until morning.” He may not be a brutish oaf of a warrior like Thor and his ilk, but Loki was not unaccustomed to roughing it when necessary. And this was at least a slight improvement upon the icy wastelands of Niflheim.
“Okay, well I’ll get you some new clothes in the morning. Promise. And food! Gosh, I didn’t even get to finish making dinner. You must be starving. I think I saw a vending machine down in the lobby—want me to go grab you something?”
Loki decidedly did not like the idea of Darcy venturing outside of this room alone after what happened with the scoundrels in the lobby earlier. He also was unfortunately unfamiliar with the concept of a vending machine, and too proud to admit he couldn’t go retrieve sustenance on his own. “That will not be necessary. I believe some rest would not go amiss, however.”
“Oh, sure! You want first dibs on the bathroom?”
Darcy wore her emotions like jewels in an ornate crown, and she clearly was itching to get cleaned up and changed into fresh attire. “Ladies first.”
“Okay then, I’ll just go rinse off all this New Mexico dust, then. Be out in a jiff!” Darcy dug some clean clothes out of her belongings and carried them with her to the washroom along with a small bag of what Loki assumed to be soaps and the like.
Once the door clicked shut behind Darcy, Loki began to remove his filthy armor at long last. He yearned for the comforts of the palace, where it would all be cleaned and pressed to perfection by morning. His beloved Asgardian leather was coated in grime and dirt and even some smatterings of blood from the skirmish on Jotunheim. With a jolt, Loki realized it had only been a day since the events that led to his banishment. It was just the night before that he found himself trapped on Midgard in his new mortal form, and only this afternoon that he truly became acquainted with the woman who seemed determined to make him her project.
Loki unbuckled his chest plate and allowed the metal pieces to clatter to the floor at his feet. He then reached to remove his left gauntlet out of habit before remembering it had been shattered by a Jotun’s icy grip—the same grip that had revealed the monster hidden within him.
Loki stiffened and stared warily at his bare forearm, turning his hand over and studying the pale Aesir skin. Breathing deeply, Loki closed his eyes and attempted to reach for the ice in his veins, only to find it still just as tightly locked away in his core as his seidr remained. Even attempting to access either piece of his nature left him with a throbbing headache, and Loki eventually gave up, slumping down on the bed to remove his undamaged gauntlet and mud-encrusted boots.
Once he had completely stripped away the warrior’s garb—deciding to keep his leggings on for Darcy’s sake—Loki crawled beneath the musty sheets, too weary to bother with washing. He was asleep before Darcy returned.
Notes:
Song Inspiration: Runaway by Ed Sheeran
Chapter Text
A dagger of inky black ice stabbed into his shoulder, turning his skin a hideous dark blue.
“You are unworthy of these realms you would claim to protect.”
Another dagger in his hip, the pain bringing him to his knees as the blue continued its spread.
“You are unworthy of the loved ones you have betrayed. I now take from you your power”
A final dagger shot toward his chest, stopping inches from his heart before slowly pressing in. As it buried itself deeper into his core, his seidr—the very essence of who he was—poured out of him, carving out a hollow cavern in his center.
All that remained of the Asgardian prince was a small child with cerulean blue skin and blood red eyes. He cowered up at the face before him as it shifted between the Aesir father he knew and the monstrous frost giant he feared. “Father, please—”
The fathers raised their hand, sending a final blast of darkness at the young boy that consumed him and cast him into the abyss, screaming for his mother.
Darcy awoke to the horrific sound of Loki’s blood-curdling screams. The broken terror in his shrieks sent chills down her spine as she leapt from her bed and rushed to his side. Loki was still in his own bed, back arched further than should be possible as agonized cries raked at his throat.
“Loki! LOKI!! Wake up!!” Darcy pressed her hands into his shoulders and shook him, desperate to free him from whatever held him captive in his own mind.
Without ceasing his screams, Loki barreled out of the bed, tackling Darcy roughly to the floor. The wind whooshed from her lungs as his weight pressed down upon her, hands pinning her wrists painfully to the floor above her head. He had finally stopped screaming, but a blind rage filled his eyes—his red eyes—as he panted with fury and desperation.
“ Loki, ” Darcy rasped, “It’s just me. It’s Darcy. You’re safe.”
Breathing deeply, Loki shut his eyes for several long moments. When he opened them again, they were back to their normal vibrant green. He loosened his grip on her arms to bring his hands up to his face, running the tips of his fingers over forehead and cheeks as if afraid of what he might find. Seemingly reassured, he turned to take in Darcy’s disheveled appearance beneath him.
Their struggle had loosened her hair from the rough top-knot she often slept with, the strands sprawled in a chaotic halo around her flushed face. She tried to school her features, reassuring him she was alright, but it was hard to hide how disturbed and worried she was. “You okay?” she choked out, still working to refill her crushed lungs.
“I…I am well,” Loki responded unconvincingly. “I apologize.” Before Darcy could respond, Loki leapt off of her and locked himself away in the bathroom.
Groaning, Darcy sat up and rubbed at her aching spine. She’d probably have bruises from how hard she hit the floor, but otherwise everything seemed to be in working order. If she still had any doubt that Loki wasn’t human, she certainly didn’t now. No human could have eyes as red as Loki’s were in that moment without some serious movie-magic contact lenses. The sound of his agonized screaming still echoed in her ears. She shivered to think what sort of nightmare could cause him to lash out so…animalistically.
Darcy settled on the edge of her bed and waited for Loki to come out. He was completely silent on the other side of the bathroom door for a good half hour before she heard the squeak of a faucet and the sound of rushing water in the shower. Figuring he might be a while, and having already washed the night before, Darcy took the opportunity to change out of her pajamas, opting for her go-to high-waisted jeans and a vintage white-and-blue Rolling Stones t-shirt.
She was flopped on the bed texting Jane an update when Loki emerged, his chin-length black hair slicked behind his ears and dripping down his bare back. Darcy allowed her eyes to artlessly rove his half-naked body where he stood with only a paltry motel towel wrapped around his waist. “You know, for a crazy homeless guy from outer space…you’re pretty cut.”
Clearly picking up her meaning, Loki rolled his eyes before scooping up a rumpled green silk shirt from the pile of armor at the foot of his bed and locking himself in the bathroom once more. This time it was only a few minutes before he again emerged, now fully clothed in his leggings and the sweat-stiffened green shirt. Crossing his arms, Loki quirked a brow at Darcy as if to say, Okay, now what?
Darcy considered asking if he wanted to talk about it, but the guarded stance and domineering silence were enough to make it clear he would not appreciate her sympathies. Besides, if he was able to muster such a dramatic eye roll at her flirtatious comment, he was probably doing a lot better now. Sometimes the best thing for trauma was a distraction, and food usually fit the bill.
“Hungry?”
“Ravenous.”
“Cool, let’s go grab some food. Then I think we should get you some new clothes so you don’t actually look homeless.”
Loki smiled humorlessly. “I am without home, am I not? How will a new wardrobe make a difference in that regard?”
“Well, for starters, no one’s gonna hire you dressed like that.”
“Why would I have any interest in your mortal obsession with labor?”
“Because it’s the only way you’re gonna be able to take care of yourself, and I’m not gonna be your sugar-mama forever. So. Food?”
With another of his signature eye rolls, Loki nodded curtly and waited by the door as Darcy collected her things, only aiding her when it came to shoving the remains of his armor into her overstuffed duffel.
They’d fortunately had no run-ins with the Men in Black so far, but she wasn’t taking any chances by remaining just hours outside of Puente Antiguo. It was only 7 in the morning—Loki having awakened them at the butt-crack of dawn—so if they were quick with breakfast and shopping, they could attempt to drive the 6+ hours to Phoenix all in one go.
Her current plan was to get Loki settled somewhere in California, maybe Sacramento or Los Angeles. There were plenty of big cities to choose from in which a person could disappear. If she didn’t care so much about finishing her Master’s, Darcy might have considered starting a new life there just to get away from her parents. Okay, maybe not. I still love them, even though I’m super pissed.
Darcy Lewis had always been close with her parents. That’s honestly what made learning the truth so painful. She knew they didn’t love her any less—that their relationship wasn't any different without blood to bind them. It was the deception that stung more than anything. Why did they lie? Why did they keep this from her? Why did they let her listen to the whispered remarks about her peculiar eye color and just brush it off as meaningless gossip?
In their defense, Darcy had not given her parents much of a chance to explain. After she learned the truth, the only communication she’d had with them was a heated phone call—well, heated on her end—in which she told them not to contact her again until she decided she was ready. They only tried calling her a few times after that before ultimately respecting her wishes—an impressive feat for her over-protective dad in particular.
Darcy snorted as she imagined the look on her extremely Jewish father’s face if he ever learned where she was right now: alone in a sketchy motel with a Norse god. A very male Norse god. At least we avoided the whole only-one-bed cliché , she imagined joking as all the color drained from Alan Lewis’s already pale complexion. Yeah, maybe I’ll just keep this little adventure to myself if I see them again. When I see them again .
After checking out of their room, Darcy and Loki loaded her things up in the car and headed to Starbucks. Darcy was in desperate need of a venti black coffee after two nights of minimal sleep, and she figured Loki could use some caffeine too after his own rude awakening.
Darcy guzzled the caffeine like it was water in a drought, but Loki only took one sip before setting the cup down with a grimace. “You mortals actually like this swill?”
Darcy laughed before picking up his discarded latte. “Usually not at first, but that’s why I got you such a sweet one! This barely has any coffee in it!”
“Well it’s appalling. If you like it so much, it’s yours.”
“Why thank you!” Darcy simpered, “How thoughtful of you to gift me the drink I bought for you !”
Loki glared in response, but Darcy didn’t miss the slight tug at the corner of his lips before he delicately ate another forkful of coffee cake, “At least this confection isn’t terrible.”
Next on their route was one of Darcy’s favorite places in the world—a thrift store. Darcy loved the history she could find in the antique furniture, vintage sweaters, and ugly knick-knacks. It was usually dirty and musty, but it felt so much more true than the carefully curated department stores. Plus Darcy preferred creating her own signature style, and the price tags were definitely a perk.
Loki, unfortunately, didn’t share her sentimentality. “You mean people have already possessed everything in here before, and when they threw it out someone else decided to sell it? Do they even wash anything before putting it on display in such a gaudy manner?”
Darcy shrugged. “Probably not. That’s part of what makes it so fun though—it’s like a treasure hunt! You never know what you’ll find!”
“I can tell you exactly what we will find. Insects, disease, and other mortals’ filth.”
“Just give it a chance, okay?” Darcy rolled her eyes, grabbing Loki by the forearm and dragging him over to the men’s section.
Loki stood in silent protest as Darcy to fill their basket with shirts and pants for him to try on before staunchly refusing to enter the dressing room. “I will not wear someone else’s clothes. The mere idea is revolting .”
“What, your parents never gave you big brother’s hand-me-downs?”
Loki scoffed and turned so she could not read his expression. Darcy worried she may have overstepped by bringing up the P-word, but after a couple minutes of his silence as she awkwardly sifted through the racks, Loki grumbled out, “As if anything that barbarian wore would even suit my frame, let alone survive his savage lifestyle long enough to be passed on to another.”
Although Darcy counted this moment of openness as a major win, she decided not to push her luck on the family talk and focus instead on persuading him into the dressing room. When he adamantly refused to be swayed and threatened to remain in his filthy green shirt and leggings instead, Darcy gave up and ditched the pile of clothes on a nearby rack. “Okay, fine. We’ll go to the mall where you’ll have plenty of stores full of fancy, expensive new clothes to pick from. Sheesh, you’re high maintenance.”
Loki was striding toward the exit before she even finished speaking—an irritatingly cocky lightness in his steps—but slowed his pace just before the sliding doors to study a black leather trench coat on one of the displays. The leather looked genuine and practically brand new, not a button or thread out of place. Loki seemed torn between his disgust at the idea that someone else would have worn it and a desire to possess it for himself.
Darcy grabbed the price tag. It was $50, which was more than she’d ever spent at a thrift store on a single item. But considering it probably originally retailed for hundreds—and also considering this was likely her one shot at getting Loki into something thrifted—the minor victory was worth the splurge.
“Oh come on, it’s a jacket. Anyone who wore it would have done so on top of other clothing. It looks new and it doesn’t even smell. Can I just get you this one thing? I promise everything else is Ralph Lauren or bust.”
Loki gave the jacket a considering look, and ultimately his vanity seemed to win out over his pride. “Very well. I suppose it will do.”
Evidently deciding he loved it too much to care where it came from, Loki wore the trench coat out of the store and kept it on the rest of their shopping trip. It was a marked improvement from the bedraggled outfit underneath, but they still managed to spend $300 more of Darcy’s precious savings at the mall on black slacks, crisp white button-downs, and some overpriced t-shirts in black, white, and green. Darcy made one brief attempt to get Loki into some denim jeans, which he adamantly rejected on the simple principle that it was blue, not green.
They finished off their spree at the food court, where Darcy wolfed down a large slice of greasy pizza as Loki opted for an Asian noodle bowl. The way he ate so daintily with his chopsticks should have left Darcy insecure about the grease dripping down her chin, but she was never one to care what others thought and preferred to indulge in her food rather than treat it like a necessary evil.
Darcy was just wiping her fingers clean to grab a sip from her soda when her phone rang. Reading “Jane Foster” on the Caller ID, she answered and tucked her phone between her cheek and shoulder as she collected her trash to take to a nearby bin. “Hey Janey, what’s up?”
“Hello, Miss Lewis,” came a deep voice on the other line that was definitely not Jane’s. Darcy dropped her soda in shock, sending it spilling across the table and nearly into Loki’s lap. He leapt out of the way and glared at her indignantly before his brows furrowed in concern at her evident fear.
“Who is this? Where’s Jane? ”
Notes:
Thank you to everyone who has given this work kudos and especially those of you who have taken the time to comment! You seriously do not know how much it means to me. I've been working on this story for months now and it's very much a passion project of mine, so it's really special to get to share it with others!
Keep sharing those thoughts in the comments - I love hearing your opinions and theories!!
-
Song Inspiration: We’re Going to Be Friends by The White Stripes
Chapter Text
Jane looked at her barren lab one last time before shutting off the lights and departing, the worn notebook clutched in her hand all she had left to show for years of work and research. After spending the last day scouring her notes with Erik, they eventually decided to admit defeat and head back to Culver to reset. Jane didn’t have the resources out here in New Mexico to rebuild all that SHIELD took. All that SHIELD stole .
This wasn’t giving up, but it was starting over. She didn’t even have her most important piece of evidence, as he was off road tripping with her ex-intern.
The empty Puente Antiguo street felt oddly calm and quiet without Darcy there to make jokes and sarcastic remarks about every little thing. Despite her more introverted tendencies, Jane missed her boisterous friend. Two months had brought them close quickly, giving Jane the little sister she never knew she needed.
Jane hoped recent events wouldn’t drive a wedge between them like it did Darcy and Erik, which was why she made a point of calling and texting her friend regularly to check in. Leaving Darcy to her own devices with a complete stranger still didn’t sit right with Jane, but there wasn’t a lot she could do to change the stubborn grad student’s mind once it was made up. That would have only pushed the bullheaded girl away.
Plopping her notebook on the passenger seat of her van, Jane backed out of the gravel lot and drove two miles down the road to the diner where she was meeting Erik for lunch before they made their own expedition to Albuquerque to catch a flight back to West Virginia.
Jane found Erik easily in the crowded diner, his sweater vest and clean-shaven complexion standing out in a sea of flannel, beards, and trucker caps. He stood out almost as much as the ominous stranger seated with him.
“Ah, Jane,” Erik greeted her wearily, “This is Nicholas Fury…Director of SHIELD.”
“Oh. Crap,” Jane blurted before her mind had time to fully register the situation.
“Yes, I believe ‘crap’ just about sums it up,” Fury replied humorlessly. He didn’t strike Jane as the type to joke around very often, with his matte black leather coat and menacing eye patch. “It seems we have gotten off on the wrong foot, Miss Foster. Consider my presence here our effort to make amends.”
“So you’re going to return my equipment?” Jane challenged.
“In a manner of speaking,” Fury hedged, giving nothing away with his posture that was both comfortable and stiff, as if he didn’t know how to relax but this was as close as he got. “Please, sit.”
Jane slowly sank into a chair next to Erik and across from Director Fury, numbly ordering a cup of black coffee from the waitress. She’d suddenly lost her appetite.
“SHIELD is impressed by the work you’ve done here thus far. Your equipment and research is impressive to say the least, not to mention your many accolades. We’d like to make you an offer that will help you continue your work.”
“In other words, you don’t have the experience to work my equipment and need my help to get any use out of it.”
Fury actually quirked a smile at that one. “In part, yes. We would like to provide you with rather generous lab space in our New York City facility along with complete funding of anything you may need to further your research. You would be welcome to travel anywhere you need to continue your work, but we would provide your base of operations.”
“So you can roadblock me any time I’m nearing a breakthrough? Or kick me out once I train up one of your lackeys? Yeah, no thanks. I work better on my own.”
“No roadblocks. No tricks. All we ask is that you keep us apprised of what you uncover and agree to keep it strictly confidential. Your work has begun to scratch the surface of some rather…sensitive information. So long as you help us to protect that information, we won’t get in your way.”
Jane looked to Erik for support, but he wouldn’t meet her eye. “It’s a good offer, Jane,” he finally mumbled, picking at the plate of waffles in front of him. “They’ll take care of you, and you’ll finally have the funding to actually move your research forward.”
“Yeah, but no one will know about it. And what about your research, Erik? This project is almost as much yours as it is mine.”
“No, Jane. This is your life’s work, not mine. I’m just an old professor ready to get back to his tenure. Besides…I think I’ve had my fair share of adventure for one lifetime. Don’t be a stranger, though—you’re always welcome back on my team at Culver if things don’t pan out here. I’ve got a cab waiting, so I’ll leave you two to it.” With a weary smile, Erik pulled a wad of bills out of his back pocket to cover his meal before nodding to Fury and making his exit, leaving Jane gawking in his wake.
As it sank in that Jane was officially on her own, she finally considered what Director Fury was offering. She may not be able to publicize her research, but it was never really about that for Jane. She cared more about knowledge for the sake of knowing than for any sort of merit. She wanted to discover astronomical things that could make a difference in the world, and these people seemed to know a lot more about the universe than she did. Maybe they could help her make that difference. It was a tempting offer for someone who just lost everything to have it offered back on a silver platter. Of course, these were the same people who took it all away to begin with.
Then Fury played his ace. “This invitation extends to Miss Lewis as well, by the way. Along with the visitor from outer space you think we don’t know is taking a cross country road trip with her.”
Realizing Darcy and Loki weren’t as safe as she had assumed, Jane looked up from her musings sharply. “How do you…what do you want with Loki?”
“Just to talk,” Fury shrugged, taking an agonizingly long sip of his coffee. “We’ve got some questions. Probably the same ones you have.”
Jane thought for another moment. This was perhaps her last chance to further her research and get Loki back. She was still dying to pick his brain and see what he thought of her work thus far, but that ultimately wasn’t her decision to make. Finally nodding with resolve, Jane confidently met Fury’s one good eye. “All right. I accept. But the three of us aren’t a package deal. You’ll have to ask Darcy and Loki yourself if they’re interested. If they refuse, you let them go. They’re not any more your property than they are mine. Deal?”
Fury agreed to her conditional acceptance, and Jane could only hope and pray that he meant it.
Loki hated the terror in Darcy’s eyes. It was nearly identical to the look she gave him this morning after he attacked her, and he couldn’t decide if he was more relieved he wasn’t the cause of it this time or infuriated that someone else would dare frighten her.
“I’m not telling you anything until you tell me where Jane is!” Darcy snapped, battling between fear and rage as her voice pitched slightly higher.
Loki reached across the table and wrenched the device from her quivering hand, putting the foreign thing up to his own ear as he had seen her do many times before. “I suggest you answer the lady’s request before I make your life very unpleasant,” he intoned, allowing an icy calmness to seep into every syllable. The woman before him and the one presumably in danger had shown him more kindness than anyone ever had, save for his—for Frigga, and he would not tolerate any threats toward them.
“Ah, Mr. Odinson, I presume,” a deep voice spoke sardonically in his ear. “Just the gentleman I was hoping to speak to.”
“I have never once been described as gentle , let alone a man,” Loki scoffed in offense, “Tell your warriors to release Miss Foster at once before I grow bored with showing you mortals mercy .”
He knew it was an empty threat, but hoped against hope that this man didn’t.
“No need to worry, Mr. Odinson. Miss Foster is quite well. In fact, she is sitting right here with me if you would like to speak with her.”
There was a slight shuffling noise before a feminine voice rang out frantically in Loki’s ear, causing him to pull the phone back with a wince. “Loki, it’s okay! I’m okay! I’m with Director Fury from SHIELD, and he’s gonna give everything back. Well, sort of. I should have just called myself, but he wanted to speak with you and didn’t expect Darcy to answer unless she saw my name on the caller ID. I’m really sorry, just hear him out…”
As Jane rambled on, Loki looked up into Darcy’s worried, questioning eyes. He nodded his reassurance and whispered, “She is well,” before cutting off Jane’s tirade.
“Miss Foster, please put this Fury back on the phone. I would have words with him.”
“Oh, of course. Sure. Here you go.”
Loki rested a placating hand on Darcy’s forearm as she closed her eyes and took calming breaths in relief. When she looked up at him in gratitude, the pair shared a knowing look. Whatever happened, they were in this together. It was oddly comforting to have an ally, a feeling he hadn’t had since—
“Does that satisfy your concerns, Mr. Odinson?” came the increasingly impatient monotone of the man Jane called Director Fury.
“Satisfaction isn’t in my nature. You may just call me Loki. And you have my attention now, so you had best take advantage of this rare opportunity.”
“In short, Loki, I’d like to offer you a job. Miss Lewis as well. If you would be willing to meet with me this evening, I can give you more details on what I’m asking.”
“You will come to us,” Loki demanded, “We will meet at a location of Miss Lewis’s choosing, and you will bring Miss Foster to assure us of her wellbeing. I can only promise our attendance, not our cooperation. Have I made myself clear?”
“Crystal,” Fury bit out, already clearly not Loki’s biggest fan. Get in line , Loki thought cynically.
Once it was decided they would meet at a busy restaurant in Albuquerque—with plenty of witnesses—Loki and Darcy were left with a few hours to kill before the cavalry arrived. Curiosity piqued after his brief experience using one, Loki began pestering Darcy with questions about the latest technology in portable communication devices.
She introduced him to a peculiar little activity called “Angry Birds,” and he found himself surprisingly enraged with the pathetic green creatures that constantly thwarted his attempts to destroy them. Eventually, Darcy said he was “killing the battery” and took her phone back, leaving the pair sitting in awkward silence as they waited outside the restaurant for Fury and Jane.
“So what were the odds of you actually being able to make good on those threats back there? If Jane had actually been in danger?” Darcy asked, breaking the silence at last.
Loki snorted, “Not very high in my current state,” he grumbled irritably. He had never been one for physical prowess in battle—compared to Thor and his ilk, at least—and while he could certainly hold his own against the best of Midgardian warriors, he still felt rather useless without his seidr.
“What do you mean by that?”
Loki kicked himself internally for letting this dangerous information slip. How did she lure him into complacency so easily? He was growing far too trusting of this mortal he’d only known for two days. Backpedaling, Loki quickly spun a half-truth, “I’m weary from my journey through the Bifrost, so my seidr—I suppose magic is the closest word you Midgardians have for it—is not at its full strength.” Darcy just stared at Loki, jaw dropped in shock. “What?” Loki finally asked, uncomfortable with her stare.
“Magic. You can do magic? Like real magic, not just pulling rabbits out of hats?”
“Why on earth would I use my seidr to pull a rabbit out of a hat?”
“Well if you’ve got real magic, I guess you wouldn’t. That’s about as close as us humans get to it—sleight of hand and clever tricks. So wait, if you don’t have magic…what was your plan to follow through on that threat, exactly?”
Loki shrugged nonchalantly. “Hope they took the bait and considered me a dangerous enough variable to do as I told them to. You’d be surprised what you can make someone do if you simply spin your words properly. And where I come from, I’m known as—”
“The God of Lies and Mischief. Yeah, you told me. Plus I did some Googling while you were primping in the shower. Although from what I was reading, you’ve also got a big bro who’s the God of Thunder and swings around a big hammer—what was it called…meow-meow? Is Thor real too?”
Any mirth Loki had been feeling was immediately replaced with a sickening rage and… wounding at the mention of Thor, and he turned to face away from Darcy lest she read the evidence of it on his face. “Ah, it would seem our time for pleasantries is at an end, Miss Lewis,” Loki smoothly redirected as a familiar black vehicle pulled up beside them. “I hope that political science education of yours has prepared you for this—I assure you I will be using all of my negotiation tactics for strictly selfish purposes.”
The moment Darcy saw Jane step out of the SUV, she practically knocked her over with a hug, sighing in relief. After Jane explained that Erik had already gone back to Culver and introduced Darcy and Loki to Director Fury in person, the four made their way into the restaurant, settling in a private corner and waving away the waitress after Fury simply asked for a round of coffee.
Loki made a face at Darcy at the mention of his least favorite beverage on the planet, and she had to bite her lip to keep from laughing in response. Jane didn’t miss a beat, however, and her eyes panned between Darcy and Loki with interest.
If Agent Coulson was like a kindly college professor, Fury was every bit the dark and mysterious secret agent from an 80’s spy movie. Throw in a Russian accent and he would be cast as the villain with that eye patch, Darcy was sure of it.
Despite his gruff appearance—and voice—Fury did not strike her as a bad guy. In fact, what he was offering them was surprisingly generous with perfectly reasonable catches. Who needed a master’s degree when you had a dream job lined up working with an elite and ultra-secretive government agency? Plus, all this alien stuff had Darcy seriously rethinking her major. An astrophysics internship was turning into a much more interesting pastime than Darcy expected when she applied.
In short, Fury was offering jobs to all three of them. Jane would have a lab—a super nice one, from the sound of it—to continue her research, and Darcy would remain her assistant and get paid for it . She’d even have benefits, a housing allowance to live off-site (eventually), and she could earn credit toward an astrophysics degree. Maybe even go back for a master’s at some point. If she felt like it.
The only real anomaly in the situation was Loki. Despite him being the reason for SHIELD’s interest in her and Jane, he was also an unknown variable. Fury clearly didn’t like unknown variables, and didn’t seem to know any more about Loki than Jane did.
It was pretty obvious the only reason they were offering him a job was to keep tabs on him, a point Loki was not afraid to call out once Fury’s attention diverted from Darcy’s offer to focus solely on the self-proclaimed god.
“I presume the only reason you’re offering me—a stranger you mortals identified as a ‘threat to national security’—a position in your organization is to make sure I don’t cause any trouble. Tempting though the offer of a gilded cage may be, Director, I’ve lived in one for most of my life and have no interest in living out my pathetically short days in another.”
The way Loki described his lifespan made Darcy wonder why he expected it to be so short. Was someone out to get him? Or was he just a lot older than she had initially assumed? How long did aliens like him live, anyway?
“Although I cannot deny our interest in keeping you…under surveillance, you would not be our prisoner. Based on the threats you made over the phone, I have a feeling you’d find a way to slip our clutches if we tried to hold on too tight anyway. I’m simply extending a truce, and an opportunity for you to make a life for yourself on our planet. Assuming you mean to stick around.”
“And what makes you think I would do that?”
Fury turned his gaze unironically on Darcy before sizing Loki up once more, “Because if you came here deliberately, I would think you’d have a better plan than to drop unceremoniously in the middle of the desert, completely alone. And I have a feeling you’d rather be back where you came from than on the run from us mortals with a girl you just met. Am I getting warmer or do you just enjoy random misadventures with college students?”
Though not appreciating being painted as some pathetic young college kid—she was in grad school , not some 18-year-old undergrad, thank you very much—Darcy could see Fury’s words had a greater effect on Loki. Whereas until now Loki had been just on the edge of blatantly hostile, he now leaned back in his seat, looking at Fury consideringly. He even seemed to respect Fury’s ability to pinpoint him so perfectly, allowing an impressed smirk to grace his features.
“And what might I do in exchange for such hospitality, aside from appraising you of my whereabouts?”
“You could support Miss Foster’s research, which I’m sure she would appreciate given your apparent connection to it. You could train to become a field agent, as I suspect you have a particular set of skills we would find worthwhile. Ultimately, the choice is yours. We would like to run some preliminary tests, but the What and How are largely negotiable.”
Darcy saw Loki’s acceptance before he voiced it, and with a comedic fist pump to break the remaining tension, declared, “All right! We’re getting the band back together!”
Notes:
Full disclosure: I don't like Erik Selvig, and I'm pretty positive him being such a vital character in Avengers was purely because it would have been too expensive to get Natalie Portman back. It makes WAY more sense for SHIELD to offer her a position than him.
Feel free to comment and share your thoughts and theories as always!
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Song Inspiration: I Dance My Dance by Chic and Nile Rodgers
Chapter Text
“How long will it last?”
“I don’t know. This time it’s different. We were unprepared.”
Thor clung to his father’s hand, studying the weary lines on his face. Thor had never thought of his father as old. Not until he watched him collapse after…
“Father! No! He is your son, you cannot send him away so callously!”
“Silence, Thor. You heard what he has done. He cannot be trusted. He must learn, and it is a lesson that cannot be taught here.”
Odin sounded surprisingly defeated, but not so much that it silenced Thor’s tirade.
“And what of me, then? I betrayed your trust as much as he did! I went to Jotunheim against your command. And I would do it again! If you can so easily send Loki away, why can you not do the same to me?”
“If you cannot learn to hold your tongue and keep your anger in check, I just might.” There was no passion behind those words. Even as they left his lips, Odin lowered himself to the steps of Heimdall’s pedestal, looking ready to collapse on the spot.
“Father, you must stop this foolishness! First you allow the Jotuns to take away my coronation, and now you allow them to take my brother! Bring Loki home!”
“You must trust me, Thor. There is a purpose in all I do, and a time for all things.”
Odin exhaled and closed his eyes. They did not open again.
Thor turned to look upon his mother. Dearest Frigga, always loving and gentle even when her foolish family tore each other apart. Always seeming to understand Odin’s intentions so much better than Thor ever could. Always seeming to understand Loki so much better than anyone ever could.
“Mother…why did he lie? About Loki?”
A shock of pain crossed Frigga’s features as she looked up to her eldest. “He kept the truth from you both so that Loki would never feel different. So that you would never see him as different. He is our son as much as you are, Thor. He is no less your brother now than he was before all this madness revealed his…heritage.”
“I know that, Mother. Nothing could make me doubt the love I have for my brother. Not even…this.” Despite his claims to accept it, Thor still could not bring himself to name his only brother a Frost Giant. An enemy. It brought into question everything he had been taught about the presumably inferior race. Were they all the monsters Asgardians saw them as? Was Loki an exception, or was Asgard wrong about the Jotnar?
Thor’s desire to end the beasts battled incessantly with his need to reconcile Loki’s blue form with the brother he cared for.
“What is past is past,” Frigga continued, “But we mustn’t give up hope that your father will return to us. And your brother.”
Thor nodded, comforted by her conviction. “You are right, as always, Mother. I will not lose hope. For either of them.” Loki’s treachery at the coronation was honestly no more a shock to Thor than any of his other tricks. It was likely just more mischief…a scheme gone too far.
Frigga gave Thor a gentle smile before turning to look upon where Gungnir rested above Odin’s head. “Coronation or not, It is yours now,” she said with a nod at the spear of Odin, “Until your father awakens, you are King of Asgard. Ruler of the Nine Realms. Make us proud, Thor.”
Thor stared at Gungnir with trepidation. The moment he longed for since boyhood was here at last, but this isn’t how he wanted it. Not like this. Not when his father lay prone and so clearly opposed Thor’s ascension to the throne. Not without Loki at his right hand, as it was always meant to be.
Still, Thor was never one to shy away from a battle. He rolled his shoulders back, stood, and wrapped his right hand around Gungnir—still clinging to his own trusty hammer in his left. Without another word, Thor left Odin’s chambers and made his way to the throne. His throne .
When three days had passed without Odin awakening, Thor held his first council. He kept it small, with only his most trusted companions at his side: the Warriors Three, Sif, and his mother. Surely his father’s advisors would not appreciate the slight, but Thor was a young king and not ready to stretch beyond those who knew him best. It didn’t hurt that his friends would follow him onto any battlefield either, no matter how reckless.
His friends entered the war room first, looking only slightly the worse for wear and unsurprised at the recent turn of events. Although they did not know the full details of Loki’s banishment—not to mention the fact that he was not a true Aesir—they had their suspicions and were unafraid to voice them with the intention of consoling Thor.
“Do not fret, Your Majesty. You know better than any of us how resourceful Loki can be,” Sif comforted, “He will forge his own path soon enough. Come up with some clever trick to make the Midgardians grovel at his feet.” Thor did not miss the bite of this last comment, nor the snort of disgust from Fandral.
“We all knew his tricks would go too far eventually,” Fandral declared, thumping a hand on Thor’s shoulder, “None of us could have saved him from himself.”
“Do not speak of that which you do not know,” Thor groused darkly. It was at this moment that Frigga entered the war room. The company went silent, pulling back from Thor to dip their heads in deference to their queen.
“Shall we begin?” she said, lacing her words with a mothering tone that promised she did not miss their prior conversation.
Thor nodded and took his seat, motioning for the rest to join him around the table. Servants swept through the room with goblets of mead and plates piled high with fruits and meats before exiting and sealing the doors behind them, ensuring the utmost privacy in the spell-warded chamber. Spells that Loki himself had helped to weave (making it rather easy for him and Thor to listen in on audiences to which they had not been invited).
“Although Father sleeps, I cannot simply leave matters as they are with the Frost Giants,” Thor began, launching into the concern that had been at the forefront of his mind since his failed coronation, “They were not pleased with our infiltration. Right or wrong, it has stirred them against us even further. If it were up to me—and it is—I would invade with all the forces of Asgard before they have a chance to retaliate. But I would have your counsel on this matter, friends. What say you?”
Thor stole a glance at his mother, whose pained look instantly quailed his growing fury. His mind was filled with icy blue skin and red eyes, yet one figure stood out among the throng. Despite his hatred for the Jotnar…one of the most dear people in the nine realms to him was their kin.
“We are with you, my king!” Volstagg roared between masticating a leg of mutton, “Say the word and we will gather the mightiest warriors in all of Asgard to join us in our conquest!”
Although Sif and Fandral shouted their agreement, Hogun was silent and pensive. The Vanir was always quieter than the rest—probably why Loki favored his company more than their other friends—and Thor would not move without hearing his mind. “Hogun? What say you?”
Hogun slowly lifted his calm gaze to Thor. “You know I am with you, Thor. Always. But if you desire to know my thoughts, I would caution you against undue haste. Last time we acted without forethought, it resulted in nothing but bloodshed, Odin’s fury, and the banishment of your brother. Perhaps a…different approach would better serve us?”
Thor watched a relieved smile cross his mother’s features, and that was all it took to ease his bloodthirst. But if not fight, then what? How could Thor protect Asgard without eliminating the threat itching at their very borders? Would the glory of battle not be the simplest solution?
Not for the first time in his short time on the throne, Thor yearned for Loki’s clever intellect at his side. No one could scheme their way out of a complicated situation like the God of Mischief.
“Although he spent many centuries a warrior,” Frigga spoke up gently, “Ever since you and Loki came into our lives, your father has found more value in peace than in conflict.”
Frustrated, Thor bounded from his chair and planted his palms firmly on the table in front of him, “And yet it is not Odin who stands as king while Jotuns may invade at any moment. So tell me, how , Mother? How can I bring about peace with a race that only desires Agard’s destruction? Peace is not possible when it comes to Jotunheim.”
“You speak of what you do not know, my son,” Frigga threw Thor’s own words back at him, “Until you have tried seeking peace, you cannot know what is possible.”
You are a vain, greedy, cruel boy.
Perhaps Odin was right. But Thor knew no other way. “Tell me then, Mother. What can I do to seek this peace?”
Thor watched the woman before him transform from mother to queen in an instant as she drew herself taller, slowly meeting the eyes of each warrior in the room. “Invite Laufey to confer with you.”
The room erupted with indignation before silencing seconds later as Frigga raised her hand and continued. “See what can be done to garner peace between our peoples. Show him your humility and acknowledge the reckless deeds of the past. Give Jotunheim a chance to choose their fate before declaring them unworthy of peace.”
You are unworthy of the realms you would claim to protect.
“And if they refuse?” questioned Fandral, still chomping at the bit for war, “If they are unwilling to make peace with Asgard?”
Thor’s mother locked eyes with him as she spoke, “Then you all will have your war.”
Notes:
Wow, two chapters in two days? I must really like you guys.
I know this was a short one, but I thought it was about time we paid Asgard a visit! Can't wait to hear your thoughts on my take of things.
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Song Inspiration: Hero by Skillet
Chapter Text
Loki continued to be amazed by the Midgardian’s creative compensation for their lack of seidr. When he first visited Midgard as a boy at Odin’s side, the mortals were much smaller in both numbers and reach across their own planet. Even with his less developed capabilities as a youngling, Loki was in tune enough with the energy moving around him to sense the hollowness within Midgardians where a seidr core should be.
Even now, he could at least sense it faintly within himself—though reaching for it was not worth the excruciating pain—but his ability to sense it externally was severed. Loki shivered at the mere thought of a complete emptiness in his core, imagining how it would feel for his seidr to be truly gone rather than barred. He would surely go mad. Perhaps he was on the brink already.
The aircraft was not dissimilar to the ones they used occasionally on Asgard, though certainly more primitive and powered by Midgardian ingenuity rather than seidr. It wasn’t his first time in a Midgardian flying machine, but the technological advances over the last several decades were evident in the speed and fluidity of their flight.
Loki sat across from Coulson, absorbing the bombardment of information about SHIELD with relative ease. The conversation flowed much more smoothly than that with Fury had, Coulson being much more accommodating as well as patient with Loki’s quips and qualms…and questions.
Knowledge to Loki was like cool water in the sweltering heat of Muspelheim; he thirsted for it constantly, never truly quenched and always desiring more. Once he accepted Coulson’s willingness to divulge information—and determined it was in his own best interest to place a small shard of trust in the mortal—Loki was just as quick with his questions as Coulson was in answering them.
By the time they landed on the roof of SHIELD’s facilities, Loki felt much more comfortable in his understanding of mortal politics, technologies, and SHIELD’s position in the midst of it all. Complete trust must be earned—on both sides, it would seem—but some of the tension Loki had been holding since the moment that frost giant grasped his wrist relaxed from his shoulders.
This was just another realm, and Loki had visited and studied them all. He would not be a lost little orphan any longer. Loki was ready to play their games, and he always came out the victor. One way or another.
Still preferring the comfort of solid ground and his own autonomy over where his body was taken, Loki was out of the jet before the engines died down, followed directly by Coulson. Darcy and Jane followed shortly after, still deep in conversation as they pored over the tablet of information regarding SHIELD’s research laboratory and the data they had collected separate from Jane’s own research. Jane was glowing like a bride on her wedding day, completely enamored with the renewed opportunity to further her work. Darcy, for her part, was practically bouncing as she stumbled over to Loki, speaking to him for the first time since they boarded the jet.
“Well I think Jane’s gonna do just fine here. How about you? Looked like you and Coulson were really getting into it back there.”
Loki scoffed, refusing to admit he actually liked the man, “He simply had the information I required to prepare for my new circumstances. It is amusing how you mortals find new ways to make innovation out of mediocrity.”
“Umm…thanks, I guess? Glad our mediocrity is so impressive to you, oh godly one.” Darcy rolled her eyes and bowed with a sarcastic flourish, “You can be a real dick sometimes, y’know?” Watching as Darcy turned her back on him to follow Jane and the other agents inside, Loki felt a slight pang of guilt for his brusqueness with his first mortal ally. It isn’t worth troubling yourself over, he pushed back internally. She won’t like you forever. They never do.
Upon entering SHIELD’s headquarters, the group was greeted by an agent who introduced herself as Maria Hill. As she made to guide the three new recruits on a tour of the lab facilities, Coulson interrupted with a gentle hand on her arm.
“Agent Hill, I know at least Miss Lewis and Mr. Odins…sorry, Loki, haven’t had much in the way of food or rest in the last 24 hours. Perhaps it would be best to escort these three to their temporary quarters and save the tour for tomorrow?”
Apparently deferring to Coulson’s higher rank, Hill saluted and turned to lead the group down a different hall than the one she had originally been making for. Following her through a maze of hallways and down an electrical conveyor to a lower floor, Loki began mapping out the building in his mind. He refused to be trapped in a cage of his own making by simply losing his way in an unfamiliar setting.
At long last, Hill stopped halfway down a door-filled white hallway that reminded Loki a great deal of the healing center he first awakened in two days ago. “Once you have been properly assessed and given your assignments, you will be welcome to seek your own accommodations within the city. Until then, these will be your rooms. Miss Lewis and Miss Foster, you will be in the adjoined suites to your right. And…Loki, your quarters will be across from them on your left. I will have meals delivered to your rooms, but in the future you may dine in one of our cafeterias with the rest of the agents.”
Loki didn’t miss how Hill struggled with the informality of using his true name rather than his family one. Although he wasn’t too fond of the casual use of it himself—he was raised as royalty, after all—he simply had no true surname to offer. He would not claim the lie of Odinson any longer, and he didn’t even know what his true father’s name was…but he refused to bear the name of a Jotun either. He still was not ready to accept that parentage as his reality.
Perhaps a new reinvention was in order.
After the agents toting Darcy and Jane’s luggage had delivered the parcels to their rooms—Loki carried his small cache of clothing himself—the welcome committee saluted the newcomers and left them to their own devices. Loki didn’t wait to make polite farewells to his companions, and silently turned on his heel to seal himself away in his new quarters, desperate for privacy.
It was much smaller than his own quarters in the palace of Valaskjalf, and certainly was lacking in personality, but it was clean and looked comfortable enough. The room was sparsely furnished in a similar fashion to the room he and Darcy inhabited the previous night, though with one less bed. There was a doorway to the right of the entrance that led to bathing quarters, complete with shower, sink, and toilet with very little space between the three. In addition to the small bed with crisp, white linens was a cushioned black chair, a small metal table, and a tall, narrow bookshelf with a light collection of reading material (and plenty of room for more).
Loki ran his finger along the spines of the books, recognizing none from his own Midgardian collection. He had always taken more of an interest in what the mortals liked to call “classics.” He reveled in unweaving the mysteries of James Joyce’s absurd linguistics or exploring the corrupt dynamics of the fictional kings of old. He had always appreciated the fallibility of mortal heroes. Every one of them had an Achilles’ heel. As it should be.
Only Odin himself appeared without fault in the Nine Realms. Appeared being the operative word. Many saw the crown prince in a similar perfect glow, but Loki had a talent for stripping away the lies and seeing the truth of a person, even when that person was his would-be brother.
A knock at his door announced the arrival of his food shortly thereafter, which Loki wordlessly accepted before shutting the world out once more. Loki picked delicately at the crusty bread and sampled the stew before setting his largely untouched tray aside on the table and settling on the edge of his bed. Whether from being unaccustomed to Midgardian travel or from more internal anxieties, Loki’s stomach felt unsettled—a sensation which easily overpowered his hunger.
He was not oblivious to the true nature of his presence here. The Midgardians who called themselves SHIELD did not trust him, and he could hardly blame them for their caution. Even without knowledge of his Jotun heritage, they surely could sense the monster within him. He was an anomaly, and unknowns such as him were best treated with caution and control.
That did not mean he would roll over and submit to their every whim. He would play nice so long as it served him. The first step would be acquiring his own living situation that didn’t hold him under constant surveillance. Loki may not be well versed in more recent Midgardian technology, but he knew when eyes were watching him. And the small black box with blinking red lights in the corner was most certainly eyes. He doubted Jane and Darcy were treated with such precaution.
Keeping his face expressionless, Loki only took a moment to remove his boots and coat before curling up atop the covers of his bed, facing the wall so those watching could not see him weak. Frightened. Lonely.
His dreams were filled with ice and blue skin and a dark, terrifying abyss. After several hours of fitful delirium, Loki gave up attempts at sleep and selected a volume from the bookshelf to pass the remaining hours of darkness.
Loki was showered, dressed, and sitting cross-legged on his bed flipping through War and Peace when a knock hammered against his door before Darcy rudely barged in. “Rise and shine, sleeping—oh, you’re awake! G’morning!”
Loki glared irritably and rose to chastise Darcy for invading his private rooms. Before he could get the words out, Darcy shoved a paper cup full of brown liquid in his hands. “I found the nearest cafeteria and got some coffee. Don’t worry, yours isn’t coffee. I thought Mr. Sweettooth might prefer hot chocolate. Go on, give it a sip!”
Deciding she wasn’t worth the effort to berate, Loki sampled the steaming liquid before emptying the entire cup down his throat. It was soothing, warm, and perfectly sweet. It reminded him of the honeyed apple tea Frigga gave him as a child, when he awoke from a nightmare. He hadn’t had such dreams since boyhood…until recently. Back then, it was his mother’s comforting embrace and sweet drinks that chased away the darkness. What was there to protect him now?
“Although I do thank you for the drink, Miss Lewis, I would appreciate you respecting my privacy and waiting for me to invite you to enter in the future.”
Darcy at least had the grace to give Loki a sheepish smile before responding, “You know, you can just call me Darcy. I call you Loki, so it only seems fair.”
“Very well…Darcy. Was there something else you needed?”
“Oh! Right! Jane’s already hard at work in the lab—and griping and groaning at how SHIELD set her equipment up all wrong and it’s gonna take hours to get it back in order…in an effort to avoid becoming her workhorse as long as possible, I offered to come grab you for Coulson. He says they want you to head to the Med Center first anyway for some sort of health screening, which is right across from the lab. Then they’ll check out your mad combat skills that we’re all assuming you’re hiding somewhere beneath that emo exterior.”
Loki nodded and gestured wordlessly for Darcy to lead the way.
The insufferable woman would not stop speaking the entire walk to the medical center. She just went on and on about how she slept like a baby even though her room felt like a “creepy sterile hospital”—Loki was inclined to agree, having now experienced both—and how Jane was already gone when she woke up this morning and probably had been for hours because Jane never slept as much as she should and—
“Norns, Darcy, do you ever stop your meaningless drabble?”
Rather than blushing and going quiet as Loki intended, Darcy burst out laughing. “Nope! Sorry. My parents even took me to the doctor when I was little because I talked so much and so loudly , they were sure I was deaf. But if you really need some peace and quiet, feel free to tell me to shut up. I won’t be offended.”
“If it will not offend your delicate sensibilities, then demanding silence isn’t nearly as much fun,” Loki quipped back, earning another laugh from Darcy. He was beginning to think making her laugh was more enjoyable than attempting to infuriate her, so he allowed her to prattle on as they turned a corner and entered an expansive room full of equipment and people in white coats and plastic goggles.
Jane was just as Darcy described her, muttering in frustration as she directed the other occupants of the room to move-that-this-way and connect-this-with-that and so on. Coulson stood watching the proceedings with interest, but drew alert at Loki and Darcy’s approach.
“I trust your accommodations were acceptable, Agent?”
Loki raised a brow at Coulson, “Agent?”
Coulson shrugged, “We’re not big on informalities here, and since you’re resistant to the use of your last name I figured your job title was a more appropriate identifier for the time being. Until we can prepare a proper alias, of course.”
As Darcy flitted over to pacify Jane, Coulson guided Loki into a small collection of rooms just across the hall from the laboratory. There he was introduced to an older woman named Dr. Myers. “Welcome to the team, Agent. If you would remove your shirt and have a seat on the table over there, we will just be doing a basic health examination to determine your field readiness.”
Loki silently did as he was told, ready to get it over with and braced to refute anything that compromised him beyond his preference. As with the doctors in the hospital, he firmly refused to allow his blood to be drawn—“You mortals are far too cavalier with your life’s blood in a universe where so many could use it against you”—but did allow much of the rest of the testing without protest.
“How odd…” Dr. Myers muttered as she held what she referred to as a “stethoscope” to Loki’s chest. “Is it normal for your…race to have such a slowed heartbeat?”
“It is,” Loki confirmed casually, “In fact, it should be slower. I have found it to be rather erratic since…” he stopped just short of sharing his newly mortal state.
“Since?”
Loki ignored the question, standing and pulling his shirt back over his torso. “If that is all, might we conclude this scrutiny so I may acquire sustenance? I do not believe hot chocolate is sufficient.”
“Go, eat,” Myers gestured as she jotted notes on her tablet, “But I will need that blood sample eventually. If it makes you feel any better, you can watch everything we do with it and destroy it yourself when we’re done.”
Loki snorted in apparent protest, though the request wasn’t…unreasonable. Especially coming from a people who wouldn’t know the first thing about blood magics.
Hill was at Loki’s side the moment he stepped out of the room. “If you will follow me, Mr. Loki, we will proceed with your combat testing now.”
“Dude, he hasn’t even had breakfast yet!” Darcy shouted through the open door of the lab, grunting as she heaved a particularly bulky piece of equipment onto a table, “Let the guy eat something first, would ya?”
Hill glared at Darcy with irritation, and Loki couldn’t help a subtle smile at Darcy’s belligerence. That woman is a force to be reckoned with , he praised internally.
Holding her finger to the black device in her ear, Hill inquired quietly about Loki’s schedule for the day before nodding at some unheard response. “Mr. Loki, have your fill and then meet us in the gymnasium on the tenth floor—the one we passed last night on the way to your room. Miss Lewis, I believe you know the way to the cafeteria? I must attend to other matters for the moment.”
“What am I, Loki’s keeper?” Darcy grumbled, though there wasn’t an ounce of bitterness in it, “Sure, I can show him the way. Coffee on an empty stomach was a bad idea anyway. Jane! Drop the tech, you’re coming too!”
“But I—”
Before Jane could argue, Darcy had grabbed her by the elbow and jerked her chin for Loki to follow them out of the lab. “Let’s go, gang. Time for this mother hen to make sure you don’t waste away to nothing as you both seem so determined to do.”
Jane rolled her eyes over her shoulder at Loki, earning an exasperated grimace from him in return.
It wasn’t long before Jane and Loki were deep in conversation over a meal of spaghetti and salad about the Bifrost-Rosen-bridge thing, and Darcy was left trying to keep up with neither an astrophysics degree nor extraterrestrial insights. All things considered, she was proud of how well she was following the conversation.
“So to open the pathway between Earth and Asgard, all you gotta do is say ‘Beam me up, Scotty,’ to this Heimerdinger guy and he’ll portal you on up—over? Through—in an instant?”
Loki’s confusion was only broken by his irritation at Darcy’s oversimplification. “His name is Heimdall, and you call to him . Not Scotty . Otherwise I suppose you have the long and short of it, though he won’t just deliver anyone to Asgard’s gates with such ease.”
“Otherwise you wouldn’t be here?” Jane asked gently.
Loki looked like he was ready to snap back with one of his signature slights, but instead breathed deeply and replied with a simple, “No. I would not.”
Jane gave Loki a pitying smile that he clearly disdained before going to refill her coffee.
“You know if I had asked you that, I would have received a verbal bruising back. Why does Jane get Gentleman Loki and I get the snarky one?” Darcy jabbed playfully, hoping any genuine hurt didn’t show too clearly on her face.
“I am always polite to the fairer sex, Darcy, not just Jane. It would seem you are one of the select few worthy of greater attention than simpering niceties. The exception, not the rule.”
“Oh?” Darcy was surprised at how Loki considered his treatment of her a compliment, though it did make sense in a weird way. “And how many other fairer-sexed folk make the list?”
“Only two,” Loki replied, “Most of the ladies of Asgard’s court are insufferably dull and fragile creatures. The only one who is ever much fun to match wits with is Sif, and she only because she is an accomplished warrior in her own right.”
“And the other?”
“Hm?” Loki murmured half-heartedly, distractedly twirling around the remains of his pasta on his fork.
“You said there were two more on the list. So with me and Sif, who’s the third?”
Loki froze mid-twirl and the noodles collapsed into the pool of sauce on his plate with a muffled plop . “Her name is Frigga. She was…is…my mother.”
It was then that Darcy really believed his treatment of her to be a sign of his high regard for her company, if not friendship. The last she brought up anything related to his family, Loki had shut her down and insisted he had none to speak of. Now he shared his mom’s name openly with her.
Knowing when to push and when to change the subject by now, Darcy cleared her throat and opted for the latter. “Have you noticed they don’t have anything sweet in here? Like, no desserts. I was shocked to even find some hot cocoa packets buried in a cabinet by the coffee machine this morning.”
“Sweets are merely instant gratification that do nothing to sustain the body or invigorate the mind.”
It was Darcy’s turn to smirk. Loki was obviously reciting the familiar words of some parent or elder. Based on what she had seen of his diet, he clearly didn’t live by this creed himself.
Before she could formulate the perfect reply, Jane returned and scooped up her tray in an unspoken declaration that her brief moment of sanity was over and she was ready to go back to her workaholic ways.
Hoping to get Jane to give it more of a rest than thirty minutes on her first day at SHIELD, Darcy said, “Hey Janey, you up for some dessert? Loki and I were gonna sneak out for a quick bite of fro-yo before he’s due in the gym if you wanna join.”
Loki raised his eyebrows in surprise which Darcy pointedly ignored, focusing all her energy on giving Jane the best pouty face she could muster. To no avail.
“Sorry, Darce, I can’t. I’ve got a ton of recalibrating to do before I’m even back to square one. You guys go ahead though, I won’t really be ready for your help until tomorrow at the earliest anyway. I’ll cover for you if Hill or Coulson come looking.” This last comment was directed at Loki, who nodded his thanks, apparently having resigned himself to Darcy’s plotting.
Loki turned to Darcy as Jane left, arms crossed and expression dour. “So what is this fro-yo of which you speak?”
“A quick bite” turned out to be twenty minutes of Loki perusing the flavors and toppings before allowing Darcy to construct a fro-yo masterpiece for him. With chocolate and salted caramel ice cream, mini marshmallows, strawberries (for nutritional value), graham crackers, and a generous coating of Magic Shell, it was probably her best work yet.
Loki quickly, though somehow still delicately as ever, consumed half of his bowl without even coming up for air. When he finally did settle back in his chair, it was with a gently satisfied smile crossing his normally brooding features. He replaced the mask of disdain as soon as he saw Darcy watching him, of course.
Darcy found her appetite more lacking than she expected, probably because she was still mulling over the topic of Loki’s family. Darcy didn’t want to just assume there was any truth to the legends surrounding the Norse gods—I mean, there was no way that Sleipnir thing really happened, right?—but now that he had ever so slightly opened up about his mother, her curiosity was piqued.
Well, if you want to get a little, you gotta give a little, she thought, considering how to even bring up her own set of family trauma.
Bluntly was usually her method of choice.
“So I just found out recently that I’m adopted,” she blurted, keeping her gaze focused on the muddy pool of ice cream melting in her pink cardboard bowl.
Loki froze, spoon in mouth. He slowly retracted it and swallowed before responding, “Pardon?”
“Adopted. Like, I was born to different people than the ones who raised me. I don’t even know who my biological parents are.”
“Yes, I know what adoption is. What I don’t understand is why you’re telling me?”
Darcy sighed, shoving her own bowl of fro-yo across the table for Loki to partake in now that his was empty. “I just…it seems like your family situation might not be the greatest, and even if it is you don’t really have anyone here. I get what it’s like to feel…different. Like no one else can understand who you are. I don’t even know where I come from—I mean, Earth, obviously, but I don’t even know who my real parents are. And I still love my Mom and Dad, but they kept that from me for years and I’m just kinda mad right now.”
Loki continued to stare silently, but he hadn’t cut her off yet, so Darcy continued.
“It hurts to have those you trust the most lie to you, y’know? Sorry…I know this is a lot. I haven’t even told Jane any of this. I took this job with her to escape from it all. But it’s also hard not to have anyone to talk to, and I just get the feeling you’d sort of…get it? But, like, if you don’t want to talk about your stuff that’s fine. And if I just seem like some whiny little mortal and you don’t want to hear any of this, that’s fine too. I just…if you want to talk, I’m here. And if you’re up for listening, I’d like that too.”
Loki’s stare was expressionless and uncomfortably impartial. When he did at last speak, it was hardly more than a whisper that Darcy had to strain to hear above the cacophony of parents and children in the post-lunch rush. “I understand…and I will…listen.”
Shocked at the gentleness of his reply, Darcy murmured, “Thanks…that means a lot.”
Loki straightened and literally shook the kindness from his posture, drawing closer to his normal volume and declaring, “But don’t expect me to reciprocate. I do not require a confidant, so you may keep your opinions to yourself.”
“Sure, no problem dude,” Darcy smiled, “Just know I’m here if you ever change your mind.” Sighing at the melted disaster that was her dessert, Darcy cleared their table before asking if Loki was ready to head back.
Loki grinned devilishly, “Indeed. I believe it is high time I demonstrated to you mortals what a true warrior can do.”
Notes:
Fun fact—my parents took me to the doctor when I was little because they thought I might have hearing problems. Turns out I’m just loud.
As always, I appreciate comments of support, questions, theories, or whatever else you feel like sharing!
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Song Inspiration: Still Falling for You by Ellie Goulding
Chapter 10: 'Til All My Scars Bleed Golden
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The audience observing Loki’s combat assessment boasted every person of note he had met thus far in his time on Midgard, save for Director Fury who had left directly from Albuquerque to attend to some other more pressing matters.
The gymnasium was broad and empty save for a wall of mirrors on one end, an equipment rack on the other, and a square of red mats that stretched across much of the floor in the center. Standing around the border of the padded area were Agents Hill and Coulson, Dr. Myers, Jane, Darcy, and a dozen more agents decked out in either white lab coats or the all-black combat gear Loki himself had changed into for the duration of his “assessment.”
Loki’s outfit consisted of form-fitting black pants, a long-sleeved black shirt, simple black boots not unlike his own Asgardian pair, and leather armored vest that Loki expected was less likely to protect him than his own Aesir skin was. He pondered for a moment whether his durability had been lost along with his power and immortality, deciding he would have to run some experiments of his own later.
As he stepped into the center of the room to await instruction, Loki watched Darcy undress him with her eyes. The tight uniform didn’t leave much to the imagination, and when she at last reached the level of his gaze and took in his scornful glare, she simply fanned her face with her hand in mock flirtation, earning the smirk he knew she enjoyed drawing from him with regularity.
The initial testing was rather dull, consisting of basic exercises and running. Each time, Coulson called the test to a close before Loki had even broken a sweat. After he was asked to run 5 kilometers on the “treadmill” and did so in under ten minutes, every eye was trained on him with interest and conversation died out entirely.
“I believe that will do for our…preliminary tests, doctor?” Coulson asked Dr. Myers, who was staring at Loki in stunned silence.
“Hm? Oh. Yes. I believe we have what we need, thank you Mr. Loki. Coulson.” With a nod, Myers and her staff exited the room in a chorus of excited muttering.
Left with only his companions and the SHIELD agents, Loki knew it was time for the real fun to begin.
Coulson nodded to Agent Hill, who stepped forward and gestured to the equipment rack, “Please select your preferred weapon for one-on-one combat, Agent. We will now begin our field readiness assessment.”
Loki couldn’t help a slightly-unhinged grin as he moved over to the rack. Selecting a pair of staves—not so elegant as his daggers, but they would do—Loki returned to the center of the room, twirling his new acquisitions with somewhat excessive flourish, “Now who will be my adversary, Agent Hill? I vow not to leave them unduly injured.”
Unimpressed, Hill gestured for two agents to step forward, “Since you seem so confident, why not make it extra challenging? Evans and Rumlow will be your opponents. Your goal is to simply disarm or otherwise compromise your opponents.”
“Ah, so I am to go easy, then? Pity. It’s much more fun when real stakes are involved,” Loki bantered, sizing up his competition. Rumlow was a large specimen of a mortal, reminding Loki a great deal of Thor. And he had plenty of experience fighting Thor. The bigger they are, the harder they fall , he mused. Evans, on the other hand, was a woman. While not as muscular as Sif, she certainly was not frail by any stretch of the imagination. A warrior in her own right, and Loki would battle her with the same respect he always showed Sif—and no small amount of trickery, of course.
While Evans selected another set of staves, Rumlow chose a long quarterstaff instead. When Hill called for the fight to begin, the pair of agents circled Loki, who still stood casually at the center of the room, flipping his staves and not so much as glancing at the mortals attempting to cage him in.
He was in the midst of twirling one of the staves on one finger when Rumlow predictably made the first move, coming in close with a sharp swing at Loki’s back. Loki dodged this easily, bending at the waist and twisting to throw one of his staves at Rumlow, striking the man directly between the eyes and causing him to stumble backward.
Evans attempted to use this distraction to make a move of her own against Loki, but he dropped down fully to the ground, balancing on his hands as he kicked out his legs to knock her over. She didn’t fall, but lost her footing enough to give Loki time to roll away and scoop up his discarded stave. Backing away from his opponents, Loki laughed and gave a mock salute, “Well, this has been fun. Shall we keep going, or do you surrender?”
Rumlow bellowed at this taunt and bounded forward haphazardly, thrusting his staff at Loki’s center. So predictable, just like Thor . Loki leapt up just in time for Rumlow’s staff to smash into the wall behind him, then landed on top of it and nimbly skipped up and over the agent’s head. Evans was there immediately, almost catching Loki off-guard due to his arrogance with Rumlow—but not quite.
Allowing one of his staves to drop, Loki gripped the one Evans was swinging at his skull and twirled her around until she was back-to-back with the still-stunned Rumlow. He released his grip on her stave and caught his own before it hit the ground, then brought it up perpendicular to her throat, “I believe you are dead, Agent Evans.” Nodding with evident respect for his skills, Evans pocketed her staves and lifted her hands in surrender before exiting the mat.
The moment she was out of the way, Rumlow shouted, “Well I’m not!” and swung around to smash his staff into Loki’s side. Loki grunted as the staff made impact before he could bring his hand down to stop it. Not pausing to dwell on the oxygen that wooshed out of him at the strike, Loki dropped his weapons and reached down to wrench Rumlow’s staff from his grasp. Rumlow stumbled in surprise at Loki’s strength as Loki spun the staff deftly overhead and pointed one blunt end at Rumlow’s chest. “Sorry to disappoint you, Agent, but yes. You are.”
Loki expected the man to be angry, just as Thor often was when he lost to his little brother. Instead, the man laughed and clapped Loki on the shoulder. “Not bad, new guy! Thanks for the workout!” Loki raised an amused brow at Rumlow as the man stuck his hands in his pockets and sauntered off the mat, leaving Loki standing there still holding the quarterstaff.
Loki stood and turned to face his audience with a broad grin. “Well, Coulson. Hill. If this is the best you can do—”
“Now that we have a more clear understanding of your skill level, Agent, perhaps it’s time to really put you to the test,” Coulson spoke in his soft way that still resonated throughout the room with authority. “Agent Romanoff?”
A lithe woman with fiery red hair stepped onto the mat, eyeing Loki with interest. “This one may actually prove a challenge. How refreshing.”
Loki scoffed at the woman’s ignorance. She clearly did not know what it was to challenge a god in combat. “At your will, madam.”
Romanoff removed a short rod that had been attached to her back, extending it into a quarterstaff with the flick of her wrist. “You wanna grab your staves again, or stick with Rumlow’s cast-offs?” she quipped.
Twirling the staff dexterously with one hand before positioning it behind his back, crouched in a prepared stance, “I think this will do quite well.”
Without another word, Romanoff launched herself forward, jabbing her staff directly at his stomach. Loki parried easily, forcing her weapon upward with his own and kicking out a leg to destabilize her footing. Romanoff easily evaded this, lifting her foot onto his knee and launching herself overhead in a flip before landing behind Loki in a crouch.
Loki twirled without missing a beat, but paused long enough to share his pleasure at finding an opponent on Midgard worth his attention. “Refreshing indeed, Miss Romanoff.”
“Natasha is fine,” she grunted, parrying Loki’s own attack this time and bringing their staffs down to the mat with a blunt thwack .
“Not so tied to titles and formalities as the rest of your organization then, Natasha ?” Loki released his grip on his staff, letting it clatter to the floor and causing Natasha to stumble slightly at the lost purchase. Before she could regain her balance, Loki slid to the ground, scooping up his staff and sweeping it beneath her legs too quickly for her to react, bringing the woman crashing to the ground (still surprisingly gracefully).
Loki danced forward and attempted to make another swipe at the fallen woman, but as soon as he moved within range, Natasha agilely pushed up into an angled handstand and wrapped her legs in a chokehold around his neck.
Loki relinquished himself to their downward trajectory, using the momentum to roll across the mat and land with Natasha beneath him, her legs still gripping him tightly as both wrestled for the upper hand, weapons discarded and forgotten across the room.
“I’ve never felt the need to roll with the punches,” Natasha grunted. Before she could break free, Loki brought his own leg up and slammed it down hard on her stomach. Although he expected her to cry out in pain at the sheer force of the move, the only outward sign of her discomfort was a slight loosening of her grip around his neck—just enough for him to escape her hold.
The two rolled apart, Loki in the direction of the abandoned quarterstaffs and Natasha back toward their enraptured audience. Loki stood with one staff poised to attack in each hand. An honorable warrior would return the lost weapon to his opponent, or at least refuse to attack an unarmed combatant. Loki was not an honorable warrior and would always press an advantage. It was only practical.
Loki ran forward with each staff stretched out at either side of him, bringing them forward to collapse upon Natasha’s prone form. Just as rapidly, Natasha rolled up to one knee and pushed her hands out, gripping Loki’s forearms tightly enough to stop the motion of his weapons mid-swing.
Suddenly, the hands gripping Loki’s arms turned icy, though no pain registered despite his anticipation of it. He looked down to see the metal bracers crumbling to blackened dust under the monstrously blue grip of his assailant. Rather than charring from the frostbitten touch, Loki’s own skin took on the same icy blue pallor of his attacker.
Loki roughly jerked out of the violent grasp in terror before launching forward to attack the beast with renewed fury, this time aiming to kill as he shrieked, “I shall slaughter you, Jotun!”
“Stand down, Loki!” a gruff voice rang out in the hollow echoes of the gymnasium. Loki came back to himself abruptly. He was not on Jotunheim. He was on Midgard. And almost every agent in the room had their weapons trained on him, confusion and fear evident on their features. The man who spoke stood at the front of the pack, arrow notched to a large black bow and drawn taught in warning.
Loki looked back to his opponent and saw she had managed to reacquire her staff and was standing a few feet away, face wary as she poised her weapon defensively.
It was then that Loki took in his own reflection in the mirrored wall to his right—just in time to see the blue tinge fade from his skin, leaving only blood red eyes staring back at him and revealing the truth of his legacy.
Loki really was an alien. Darcy knew she knew that already, believed it, accepted it. But this…this was irrefutable proof. There was no more pretending Loki was human. Even as his skin faded from a deep blue to his familiar pale complexion, his eyes remained red and fixed with shock on his reflection. If it wasn’t apparent to anyone else in the room, Darcy could read the obvious shock and unbridled terror written all over his face.
Darcy watched helplessly as Natasha stepped closer to Loki, afraid to make a move herself with every trigger-happy weapon drawn. Loki reacted so quickly he was hardly more than a blur of motion that smashed into the far wall with a resounding crack , arms raised defensively and red eyes now trained on his erstwhile opponent.
Before Agent Barton had shouted for an end to the combat, Loki had looked ready to kill Natasha. Like, actually kill her. When his form shifted to blue and his eyes reddened, he had glared at Natasha with so much abject hatred, it was a wonder Barton didn’t shoot him down on the spot. Now, those crimson eyes were blown wide with panic, changing his appearance from berserk warrior to cornered prey in an instant.
Natasha seemed to pick up on the change too, thankfully, as she lowered her staff to the floor and tentatively approached Loki, her own hands raised to show Loki that she presented no threat. “Clint, agents, lower your weapons.”
“Nat—”
“That’s an order, Barton.”
Loki flinched away from the sharpness of Natasha’s tone, but he didn’t move to either run or attack. He simply stared with unchanging eyes, breaths hitching and erratic.
“Loki, you’re safe. Wherever you went just now, it wasn’t real. You’re at SHIELD headquarters, and we were sparring. No one is going to hurt you. Do you understand?”
The room was completely silent for a moment as even Loki stopped breathing. After what felt like an eternity of tension so thick you couldn’t even cut through it, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, they had returned to their familiar emerald green.
“Agent Romanoff…Natasha,” Loki responded roughly, “Yes. I understand.”
The atmosphere relaxed slightly, and Darcy let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.
Natasha nodded at Loki before turning to face the still-wary crowd. “I think he’s had enough for today, Coulson.”
Voicing his agreement, Coulson addressed Loki, “Thank you, Loki. You are dismissed. I will send for you tomorrow to go over your…results. Until then, perhaps a rest in your quarters is warranted.”
Loki nodded curtly at this obvious dismissal. He had donned the expressionless mask he often wore like a second skin and straightened to his full, intimidating height, but the traces of humor that often sparkled at the corners of his eyes were completely absent. He looked…hollow.
Darcy moved forward as Loki approached the crowd, reaching out to comfort him, but Loki just brushed past her as if she wasn’t even there, disappearing through the small crowd and down the hall that led to their rooms.
Coulson dismissed everyone except for Barton, Hill, Natasha, and Jane. And Darcy, because she was Jane’s assistant, and that was the best excuse she could come up with for why she was staying to hear what Coulson & Co. intended to do with Loki next.
Someone had to look out for the guy, and so far Darcy was the only one volunteering for the gig.
“Coulson, you can’t be serious!”
“I don’t believe I have said anything yet, Agent Barton,” Coulson coolly replied to the insubordinate remark.
“Your actions said plenty. You’re just gonna let an unknown, dangerous variable walk free around headquarters? After that display, you’re just having him go take a nap ?”
“We already knew he was an extraterrestrial,” Hill cut in, just as calm as Coulson. Darcy, for her part, was just relieved the ones with authority weren’t jumping to lock up Loki for a little nefarious shapeshifting. And deadly glare. And whispered threats in a language she was pretty sure was not from earth.
Darcy could still hear the vicious words as if Loki were still there biting them at Natasha in that eerily inhuman voice that pitched at least two octaves lower than normal.
Ek munu skera ér, Hrímþursar!
“Yeah, you said he wasn’t human. Doesn’t mean I believed it until…well… that .” Barton was losing steam, obviously more freaked out at the revelation of an alien walking the earth than at any real threat Loki might present.
“It doesn’t really matter if you believed it, dude,” Darcy cut in, just about fed up with them talking about Loki as if he was some kind of dangerous asset rather than a person. “You were filled in on his backstory, and I can vouch for his lack of turning blue and wild on the regular. Something just sorta…snapped for a second there. That wasn’t Loki.”
“Yeah, it was,” Natasha interjected, crossing her arms thoughtfully, “But you’re right, in a way. His mind was somewhere else. Somewhere that left him feeling vulnerable and threatened.”
Natasha looked pointedly at Barton, whose eyes widened with apparent realization. “Shellshock," he whispered.
Natasha nodded. “I’ve seen it enough to know when it’s happening. Whatever Loki has been through before showing up on our planet, it’s left him pretty messed up.”
Darcy had heard enough. Loki had PTSD, just got majorly triggered, and now was left all alone to deal with it. Whether or not he claimed to need or even want it, he needed a friend.
But when Darcy reached the door to his room, she found the door locked. She tried knocking for several minutes before leaning her forehead against the door in defeat.
“Loki…I don’t know if you can hear me, but it’s just Darcy. Can I come in?”
Silence.
Darcy sighed. “Alright, well you don’t have to open the door, but just listen for a sec, okay? I know you’re freaked out and something really bad happened to you back there. But I’m still here, ready to listen or dip out for fro-yo and meaningless drabble. You don’t have to deal with this all alone. Just…know I’m here, if you change your mind.”
When the room on the other side of the door remained silent, Darcy gave up for the time being and turned to head back to the lab. She was long gone before the lock clicked and the door slid open. Loki stared down an empty hallway for a moment before re-entering his isolation. Though he left the door unlocked, Darcy did not return that night.
Notes:
This is my first time writing a combat scene - I hope it's not too terrible!
I also want to thank each of you who has commented, especially those of you who do it on every chapter! It seriously motivates me to write more knowing that there are people out there who love my Loki and Darcy as much as I do. You're all wonderful.
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Song Inspiration: "Legend" by The Score
Chapter 11: And I Thought, What Could I Do?
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Sleep didn’t evade Loki so much as Loki rejected it outright. He had faced the monster within once today already and was not keen on doing so again in his dreams.
Seeking privacy from the prying eyes of his hosts—or perhaps captors at this point—Loki sought refuge in the bathing room, it being the only unmonitored corner of his meager little living space. Although the lack of sight played tricks on his mind, Loki still sat stubbornly on the floor of the shower in total darkness. At least in the darkness, the monsters were nothing more than hallucinations in the shadows. In the darkness, he could pretend for but a moment that he wasn’t one of them. A Jotun. A monster .
Scalding hot water burned his skin, pouring from the showerhead over his still-clothed form. It had over an hour and the water still burned with heat as it soaked him, and yet it did nothing to chase away the ice that sat dormant in his center—a direwolf waiting for the opportunity to leap upon its prey.
Surely this is another of Odin’s punishments , Loki mused, For why else would the monster be permitted to roam free while my seidr remains barred from me still?
Even as he thought it—and as much as Loki craved further reason to loathe Asgard’s king—Loki knew it was a lie. Odin had not intended for Loki to ever know the truth of his parentage, and he certainly would not drop Loki defenseless on Midgard in such a beastly form that would only serve to get him killed.
No, somehow, Loki had brought the Jotun forth. And he didn’t have the faintest idea how he had done it, which meant he also didn’t have a means of preventing it from happening again. And that thought was even more terrifying than anything else about his banishment. If he could not restrain the monster, then what was to stop it from overpowering him? What was left to help him maintain the lie that he was nothing like the monsters of his greatest nightmares? How could he accept a mortal life when the worst part of his immortal heritage reared its ugly head without preamble?
Eventually the water did turn cold, spurring Loki from his catatonic musings. Removing the sopping wet combat gear, Loki closed his eyes and turned on the light. When he dared to look upon his naked form, he was relieved to find the familiar Aesir features he had once believed were his. No , he argued, They are mine. It may be a lie, but it is my lie, not Odin’s. I will wield it as such .
Loki exited the bathing room and grabbed dry clothes from where he had folded them upon one of the empty bookshelves. The freshly laundered Asgardian tunic and leather pants were a comfort to him, though he still found he preferred his new trench coat to the sorcerer’s armor. The coat he had worn to Jotunheim was lightweight and perfect for the use of daggers and sorcery, but without his seidr it just did not feel right. It wasn’t who Loki was anymore.
Loki was anxious to know what SHIELD intended to do with him and spent the next few hours plotting various escape routes in response to every possible scenario. He eventually found this exercise tiresome and sought a more soothing means of focusing his mind and avoiding sleep. Loki selected another book from the shelf to keep him busy until morning, when someone would surely be sent to retrieve him to meet with Phil Coulson.
The tome he selected was a weighty volume of Midgardian fairytales, many of which Loki recognized from his own studies in the literature of mortals. This particular collection began with a tale Loki had always despised, for he honestly did not see what the maiden did in the cursed prince. Honestly, who could ever love a beast? Loki mused, knowing even as he said it that it was not the beast in the story of which he spoke.
Pushing aside darker thoughts, Loki flipped through the pages of the book until he found one of his personal favorite stories: Jack the Giant-Killer. Loki had always admired Jack’s ingenuity, for he rarely took the obvious approach to the dilemmas he faced. He was a mischievous scamp of a lad and a trickster to boot, but the people adored him nonetheless as he conquered the giants that terrorized their villages. And Jack never failed to slay his giants.
Loki had read the story twice—along with many of the other tales in the book—and was once again perusing the bookshelf when a knock at the door signaled the end to his isolation. Preparing for the worst, Loki rolled back his shoulders and plastered a disinterested look on his face before opening the door and following the agent in the direction of Coulson's office.
Thor tried to look as kingly and intimidating as possible while the small party of frost giants made their way toward the base of the dais. Small was certainly the wrong word to describe them, despite only three Jotuns being in attendance. They stood so tall, Thor still had to crane his neck to look upon their faces while seated on the throne several steps above them.
It reminded him of exactly how it felt as a boy to look up at the disappointed face of his father. His father who was currently at his most vulnerable while Jotuns stood audience in the throne room. Thor was now quite convinced his mother was mad to think anything positive could come from this. It was only her calming presence at his right hand that kept Thor from calling the whole thing off and banishing the beasts from ever setting foot on Asgardian soil again.
“Am I cursed?”
Thor didn’t believe the sight before him. Couldn’t believe that his brother who had fought countless battles at his side—who had just been fighting Jotuns with him—could look so…inhuman.
“Loki, what trickery is this?” Despite the blatant evidence before him, Thor refused to accept reality. This was some prank to diffuse the situation, or perhaps Loki was indeed cursed by Laufey as some sort of cruel vengeance. But it wasn’t, as their father soon revealed. The Liesmith himself had been fooled his entire life, as had all of Asgard. As had Thor.
Thor remembered the exact moment when Loki turned to him for support. Reassurance. Anything. Thor felt Loki’s pained eyes burning on him still, and he regretted turning aside with every fiber of his being. It was just…too much, all at once. And so he chose cowardice over facing his brother’s Jotun form.
He would not be a coward now. Lifting his chin, Thor looked directly into Laufey’s eyes and looked for the personhood he hoped was in there…somewhere. If Loki could be fully frost giant and still his brother, perhaps there was hope for peace after all.
“It would seem Asgard has an unseasoned new king,” Laufey rumbled, “But what of the Allfather? Was it not his throne I was summoned to confer with?”
“My coronation was interrupted by a band of your kind , as you well know. I am simply fulfilling the role that was rightfully mine from that day. The Allfather is away on other matters and has left diplomacy between our peoples to me.”
The lie fell thick from Thor’s lips, and he begged the Norns that it would be believed. Knowledge of the Odinsleep must be kept as protected as possible to reduce the risk of assassination attempts. Hogun wisely suggested they weave as much truth as possible into the story to make it the most believable—a method they had all seen Loki harness masterfully countless times—but given how things ended on Jotunheim, Laufey surely knew Thor would not have been crowned again so easily.
If only I had your silver tongue, dear brother, Thor thought longingly.
“The Allfather sleeps, and you stand in his place. We are not the bloodthirsty beasts you would paint us to be, boy, nor are we fools.”
“You will show respect to your king, giant!” Thor shouted, rising from his throne with instinctual rage.
“A king in title does not a true king make,” Laufey responded calmly, eyes still trained on Thor, “It takes more than battle fury and a throne to lead a people.”
“Wise words, Laufey,” Frigga cut in softly with a sideways glance at Thor, “As such, is it not a leader’s duty to consider what is best for his people? Will you not consider this opportunity for peace for the sake of Jotunheim?”
Laufey’s eyes seemed to soften strangely as he looked upon Frigga. “Once I would have considered you a friend to the Jotnar, Your Majesty. When you were simply Frigga Freyrdottir of Vanaheim. Before you allied yourself with the murderer you now call husband.”
“The true conflict between you and Odin was thousands of years ago, Laufey. He is a changed man, as his son is trying to be.”
“I saw only one son of Odin entreat for peace the day your children sought to play hero on Jotunheim. And yet now he does not stand by his brother’s side? Perhaps the traitor in the house of Odin was closer than even I presumed?”
It was a deliberate bait on Laufey’s part, and Thor knew it. But he could not withhold his anger any longer, “Loki may have made a mistake, but it was your kind who abandoned him when he was a helpless babe! If not for you, he would still be with us now!”
The throne room was silent but for the echoes of Thor’s words, and he thanked the Norns that only his mother and the Jotuns were present to hear them.
“So…the sickly welp yet lives?” Laufey’s voice dropped into a quiet rumble, making his next words nearly indistinguishable, “I never would have thought Odin capable of bestowing mercy on a Jotun of any age, let alone my own flesh and blood.”
“ Yours? ” Of course. Odin always told Thor and Loki both they were born to be kings…so this is what he meant. “ You are Loki’s father?”
It was too much. It was all too much. “You will leave Asgard, Jotun. NOW!” Thor raised Mjolnir overhead with a deafening crash of thunder. “I will not barter with someone who would leave his own son to die.”
“Thor—”
“Silence, Mother. We tried it your way. There is no negotiating with animals such as he. Guards! Return these beasts to the Bifrost gate immediately. We are done here.”
As the guards filed into the room and surrounded the Jotuns, spears at the ready, Laufey simply continued to stare at Thor calmly.
“You are right, boy. There is no negotiating with an animal. I will give you one last chance for peace, then, so the Allfather may not awaken to warfare at your behest. Send Loki Laufeyson to entreat with me on Jotunheim. Prove to me your goodwill with how you regard the dwarfish Jotun that is my kin, and perhaps there may be accord between us yet.”
“I said we are finished , Laufey!” Thor shouted, “Return to the barren wasteland you call home!”
Laufey smiled menacingly, “Farewell, little Aesir. One way or another, we will have what was stolen from us. You would do well to remember that in the days to come.”
As quickly as they arrived, the Jotnar were gone. Thor and Frigga stood in silence until the light of the Bifrost signaled Laufey’s departure.
Frigga sighed before sinking into her seat, fingers pressed delicately to her forehead.
“And what else could I have done, Mother?” Thor argued petulantly, “You heard what he said. You know what he did to Loki. How can you even consider peace with such a creature as him?”
“Thor, you cannot win peace by only seeking it with those who you understand. The nine realms are full of many peoples and many customs. I do not excuse what Laufey did, but we cannot claim rightness simply because we hold the greatest authority.”
Tossing Gungnir to his mother, Thor groused, “Take Father’s scepter and go stand watch over him. I will return.”
“Where will you go?”
“I must see Loki,” Thor answered curtly, back already turned to Frigga as he made for the Bifrost.
“Your Father said—”
“I don’t care if he banished Loki!” Thor shouted, turning back to face his mother from across the throne room, “I am the king now, and I would see Loki restored to us. I may not be able to return his power, but I can at least bring him home. If we are fortunate, he will still wish to receive that much.”
Frigga did not respond, just looked upon Thor with a pained expression clouding a faint glimmer of hope.
Thor did not know what he would say to Loki. He did not know if he would ask his brother to speak with the Jotnar on his behalf as requested by Laufey. Thor just knew he had to see him. Perhaps Loki would know what to do.
Notes:
Thor's a buffoon, Loki's traumatized, what else is new? I guess we'll see in the next chapter...
As always, thank you for your comments! I read every single one and they make me so excited for you all to get where I am in this story (25 chapters drafted, maybe 10 more to go!)
-
Song Inspiration: Thunderstruck by AC/DC (because, come on, Thor)
Chapter 12: There is Nothing Left of You Here
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Thank you for coming to see me, Mr. Cooper.”
Loki looked up at the man across the desk from him in surprise at the use of his old alias, “Well, well, Agent Coulson. It would seem someone has been doing their research. How did you figure it out?”
“SHIELD has been monitoring threats against our country for longer than most would believe. We’ve always had fingerprints for D.B. Cooper, we just haven’t been able to find a match until now. It turns out he was simply hiding off-planet.”
Loki chuckled darkly, amused at the irony that his new employers were perhaps the only Migardians who could have ever connected him to the infamous plane jacking. At the time of his spontaneous heist, Thor had been growing anxious during a prolonged stretch of peace. Loki deliberately lost a bet in order to provide Thor with the entertainment he needed to stave off his more sanguine nature. Clever trickery such as this kept Thor at bay for a mere 40 years afterward. At least, until that same trickery ruined the beloved heir’s coronation.
“What now, then, Coulson? Am I to be arrested for my crimes?” Loki asked dryly, cuffing his hands together mockingly. Loki assumed this would be their formal excuse for locking away the monstrous being they encountered yesterday in the gymnasium. Not that they need one.
Coulson simply smiled as he slid a thin folder across the desk to Loki. “Considering you look the same as you did 40 years ago, I believe that would involve more explanations than we care to provide at this time. Your skills are much more valuable to us on the field, Agent.”
Opening the folder, Loki saw it contained Midgardian identification papers. A passport, driver’s license, and everything else Loki would need to work and live on this planet, complete with his photograph and the name “Loki Daniel Cooper.”
It was so absurd, Loki burst out laughing, “Well, Agent Coulson, perhaps you mortals do have a sense of humor after all.” Were these mortals mad? How could they still trust him by any stretch now that they knew what he was? Perhaps it was their ignorance of the Jotnar that protected him. “Very well, so neither my crimes nor the truth of my form are enough for you to detain me. I’m beginning to wonder just what it would take for you to chain me up as you probably should.”
Coulson shrugged, “Try taking over the city of New York and we’ll revisit that conversation. Until then, I have your first mission brief—” Coulson was interrupted by Director Fury himself bursting through the door, glaring at Loki with disdain.
“Ah, Director,” Loki smiled demurely, “Come to tell Coulson you changed your mind and want the infamous thief-turned-blue-monster thrown overboard? I presume knowledge of my grand reveal is responsible for your prompt return.”
Fury ignored Loki’s words and got straight to the point, “You mind telling me why there’s a big guy with a lightning hammer flying around Times Square shouting your name?”
Loki’s eyes widened perceptibly before he could compose himself, “Ah. So you’ve met my brother.”
Fury pressed his thumb and forefinger to his temple, closing his one good eye in frustration. “Well do you mind asking your brother to stop terrorizing the people of New York? It seems you’re his target, and I’m assuming you’re capable of reasoning with him?”
Loki grimaced. “Thor and I did not leave off on particularly good terms. It may be best if I stay out of this.” You do not know what you are asking of me.
“Agent Cooper,” interjected Coulson in his ever-serene way, “I do not believe the Director was making a request.”
Loki stood and turned bodily to face the Director. “I assure you, getting me involved will only lead to more chaos.” Please, do not make me confront him.
“Very well,” Fury bit out impatiently, “But you should know—our methods will not be so peaceful. If he cannot be made to see reason, we will take whatever action is necessary to resolve matters quickly—” Fury cut off suddenly, bringing a hand up to his earpiece, “Stark, I would appreciate it if you would stop hacking SHIELD’s communication systems. Yes, we are aware of the situation and handling it. No need to leave your California paradise on our account.”
With one last glaring look at Loki, Fury stormed out of the office, presumably to collect a team to “resolve matters.”
Loki hated the relief he felt at that moment. It made him feel like he was still a child hiding behind his mother’s skirts. It made him feel like a coward. He hated it nearly as much as he hated the concern for Thor that welled up deep down beneath carefully wrought layers of bitterness and rage.
Loki didn’t move after Fury left. He stayed there even as a shuffling sound indicated Coulson rising from his desk and coming up alongside him. The man stood nearly a head shorter than Loki, yet his presence was strangely imposing.
“If you’re going to work with us, Agent Cooper,” he spoke softly, “You will need to learn to trust us. We will not let anything happen to you—”
Loki laughed cruelly, “You honestly think you mortals can do anything to stop Thor , the God of Thunder? You truly are fools.”
“Then help us, Loki. You know him as we do not. Help us to find a peaceful resolution.”
His resolve was cracking. Something about Phil Coulson made Loki not want to disappoint him.
“If I’m going to do this,” he relented, “it will not be unarmed.”
After briefly perusing SHIELD’s armory, Loki settled on an old favorite: twin daggers discreetly sheathed at either hip and hidden beneath his long trench coat. He had again considered donning his Asgardian leathers but quickly dispensed with the notion that such small gestures might make any sort of difference.
He was almost to the building’s entrance when Darcy found him. Unsurprisingly, given her brief attempt to console him last night—she remained as comfortable with him as ever. Seeing him morph into a nightmare the day before did nothing to slow her determination that they become friends.
“Given the thunderstorm and the fact that no one else on this planet even knows you, I’m guessing that’s Big Brother out there?”
Loki nodded sharply, not even slowing his pace as she jogged to keep up with his long stride.
“Yeesh, your family drama definitely wins. Need some backup?”
Loki stopped abruptly and gripped Darcy’s forearm, roughly turning her to look up at him, “You are not to leave this building under any circumstances. I will handle this. Do you understand?”
Loki tried not to feel guilty at the fear in her eyes—or softened by the concern—as Darcy nodded mutely. He didn’t give her time to say anything else before releasing his grip and exiting the building with renewed purpose.
It didn’t take him long to find Thor. The idiot was hovering just a block away, his back to Loki as he faced a dozen agents with their useless weapons trained on him. Sirens and the whir of helicopter blades indicated the rising tensions surrounding Thor’s less-than-graceful entrance.
Thor looked down upon Director Fury, who stood just in front of the agents with a loudspeaker in hand, attempting to order the God of Thunder to come quietly before anyone got hurt. Thor simply laughed at the notion that the mortals could pose even the slightest threat to him.
“I know my brother is here,” his voice boomed with dominance, “Heimdall assured me of as much. Bring him to me, mortals. I would have words with him.”
“Showtime,” Loki muttered to himself disdainfully as he stepped out of the protection of SHIELD’s entrance and drew his daggers. “Thor! I am right here, you blundering oaf!”
Thor whirled at his brother’s shout and did the most familiar and unexpected thing he could. He grinned broadly before landing with a sharp crack of pavement right in front of Loki and drawing him into an embrace. “Brother! I have found you, at last! Thank the Norns!”
Loki stiffened at the contact and stabbed Thor in the side with one of his daggers. It caused no harm, but it at least bothered the buffoon enough for him to release his hold on Loki. Thor still maintained that signature foolish grin, despite Loki’s obvious discomfort.
Fury and what must have been every SHIELD agent currently present at headquarters formed a circle around the two Asgardians, weapons still at the ready. Loki wondered yet again if he was being betrayed by the organization that claimed to be his ally until Fury spoke up and put those fears to rest, “Mr. Odinson, I need you to drop your weapon and step away from Agent Cooper.”
Thor furrowed a brow at the name, “I have no quarrel with this Agent Cooper. I merely wish to speak with my brother.”
“ I’m Agent Cooper, fool,” Loki grumbled irritably, relaxing into his natural disdain as he accepted both Thor and SHIELD’s lack of hostility toward him—for the time being.
Thor looked at him in surprise, “Cooper…wasn’t that the name of your—”
“This is hardly the time or place for pleasantries, Odinson,” Loki interrupted. Thor winced at the poison in Loki’s voice when he spoke the family name they once shared. “I suggest you listen to Director Fury if you do not want to cause further unrest on this meek little planet.”
Thor looked like he wanted to respond, but as he took in the terrified gazes of agents and civilians alike, he put distance between himself and Loki, releasing Mjolnir from his grip and allowing it to crash into the street, creating even more destruction on the otherwise smooth asphalt. “Brother, now that we have been reunited, it is of great import that I speak with you.”
Coulson walked up beside Loki, causing the God of Mischief to wonder how the human could appear seemingly out of nowhere without the use of seidr. “Mr. Odinson, I’m Agent Coulson—your brother’s handler. Perhaps we might move this discussion somewhere less…public?” His sideways glance at the gathering audience and flashing cameras left no question of his meaning.
Seeming relieved at the mere idea of being able to converse with Loki further, Thor nodded gratefully before looking to Loki for assent. Loki, feeling the weight of hundreds of eyes upon them, turned wordlessly and strode back into the building. He heard the metal whir of Mjolnir as Thor scooped it back up, along with the clicking of guns and shuffle of feet as the entirety of SHIELD’s personnel followed in their wake.
Darcy stood right where Loki had left her, watching his approach with unabashed curiosity. Her eyes widened as she took in Thor’s form entering the building behind him. “Wow. Are all Asgardians so massive and sexy, or is it a family thing?”
Loki reached out to grip Darcy’s hand as he walked past, forcing her to follow at his side. He was not about to leave her standing there to greet Thor. She followed without resisting, but Loki could feel the concern emanating from her in waves. “You okay, Loki? What’s going on?”
“I know not,” he whispered, tightening his hold on her much smaller hand, “Just…keep your distance from Thor. I do not know his purpose with me, and I do not trust him.”
Darcy nodded, giving his hand a gentle squeeze, “Okay. So um…where are we going?”
Loki’s steps faltered at the realization that he didn’t actually know the answer. He had been heading in the direction of his room but decided at that moment he didn’t actually want Thor tainting his only sanctuary, meager as it was.
Reluctantly, he slowed to a stop and turned to search for Coulson. He was surprised to find most of the agents had dispersed, presumably back to their regular duties as the threat was considered contained. Thor stood just behind Coulson and Fury, flanked by Barton and Romanoff on either side—the latter of whom gave Loki a small smile in greeting when he glanced at her.
Loki tried not to look as helpless as he felt when he shifted his gaze to Coulson imploringly. Coulson nodded in understanding and moved forward to guide their progress, “If you gentlemen will follow me, I believe we have a conference room on this floor that should suffice.”
The room Coulson led the group to was decidedly not only a conference room. Furnished with only a cold metal table and two chairs (one of which was clearly designed with chains in mind), cameras in every corner, and an obvious one-way mirror taking up the entire back wall, Loki knew precisely the purpose of this room. Interrogation.
Thor, being less academically inclined, clearly did not understand the implications of the situation, sweeping into the room as if he owned it. “I thank you, son of Coul, for your accommodation. However, this is a family affair that does not concern you mortals. You may leave us now.”
Fury looked ready to put Thor in his place for such an entitled comment, but instead glanced at the cameras before turning to Loki with a nod, “We will give you two some…privacy.” Loki understood his meaning precisely: We will be watching .
Whether intended as a threat or a reassurance, Loki took it as both. Reluctantly, he released his death grip on Darcy’s hand, gesturing for her to follow the other agents out of the room. She hesitated momentarily, clearly sensing his ongoing discomfort, before following everyone else out of the room. The door shut with a soft click , sealing Loki with the last person in all the nine realms he wanted to speak to, save for Odin.
Loki remained close to the door, arms at his sides and hands resting on the sheathed daggers.
Unable to bear the silence, per the usual, Thor spoke first. “You look well, Brother.”
Loki scoffed, crossing his arms defensively. “Ah yes, mortality suits me, does it not? Why are you here , Thor? Is my banishment lifted, or may I resume my newly stunted life in peace?”
“I came to tell you that…Father has entered the Odinsleep. Mother is not sure if—when he shall awaken again.”
Loki shoved down the pang in his gut and plastered a cruel smirk on his face. “Congratulations, Your Majesty. It looks like you finally have your throne.”
“Congratulations?” Thor thundered, “Loki, Father may be dying . Mother is beside herself with grief over him and you. The Jotuns are boiling for further conflict. And the person I trusted most in all the Nine has not only betrayed me but been left to die in an honorless, mortal life. I’m hardly interested in celebrating .”
“If you’ve come here expecting me to grovel,” Loki replied with a mocking pout, “You will get no apologies from me. I did what I had to in order to protect Asgard and all the realms from your tyrannical rule!”
Thor actually had the grace to look abashed at Loki’s declaration, shoulders caving ever so slightly. The sight of it fueled Loki as much as it quelled him. “Though perhaps it wasn’t so selfless as all that,” he relented, unable to keep the sarcastic bite from his tone, “Perhaps I simply am the monster I was born to be.”
Any shame Thor carried was swiftly replaced with irritation at that remark. “Loki, you are not a monster. You’re my—”
“Your what? Brother?” Loki scoffed, “You’ve seen with your own eyes the evidence of that lie. You saw what I truly am, Thor! I am not your brother. I am your enemy .” If you would just accept that reality, maybe I can too.
“No, Loki! You will always be my brother, blood or not. And as my little brother, it is my responsibility to protect you.”
“ Protect me? You honestly expect me to believe the reason you came here is to protect me? From what, the mortals? Myself?”
“From the Frost—from Laufey. Your…your true father.”
The truth of the statement stabbed Loki’s gut like the cruelest of knives, twisting and churning with enough force to cause him to stagger back against the door behind him. “Ah. So there it is. The final piece of the puzzle,” Loki spoke as in a trance, forgetting Thor and the host of agents watching on the other side of the mirror, “I’m not just some pathetic blue whelp Odin took pity on. There is royalty in my monstrous blood after all. A royal beast , captured and tamed to keep the rest at bay.”
“Loki, please,” Thor pleaded, drawing Loki out of his pained reverie, “Enough of this vitriol. Laufey has learned that you yet live and demanded you oversee negotiations between our realm—”
“I have no realm. Did you not hear Odin? I am unworthy of the nine realms.”
“Stop twisting my words!” Thor raged, stomping forward to tower over Loki as he always did when fed up with the younger’s quick wit, “You will return to Asgard with me! Whether you wish to speak with Laufey or not, it matters little. We are on the brink of war, and I cannot protect you and defend our home unless you return with me!”
“Whether Laufey wishes to speak with me or finish the task he failed to complete at my birth, it matters little. It cannot be worse than what Father has already done!” Loki’s ferocity dropped to a strained whisper, “I am dying , Thor. Perhaps not today, perhaps not tomorrow. But soon. Do you know what the average life expectancy is for mortals on this planet? 80 years. Who knows how many remain to me, having already spent them a dozen times over. What Odin has done to me is a fate much crueler than death, leaving me to waste away without so much as a coin to my name!”
“ Then come home!” Thor pleaded, forcing Loki to turn away rather than see the tears welling in the eyes of the man he once called brother, “Surely Father will feel more forgiving when he sees how you suffer. Come home, and I will speak on your behalf when he awakens again. I cannot return your immortality or your power, but as King of the Nine Realms I can see your banishment lifted as though it never occurred.”
Returning to Asgard terrified Loki even more than living out a meager existence on Earth. That terror was enough to stamp out any remaining vestiges of subservience to his domineering elder brother. Loki shoved Thor backward into the table, ignoring the fact that Thor clearly only moved out of surprise and not due to any actual strength on Loki’s part.
“I do not want my banishment lifted. I do not want to live out my days amongst a people who would slaughter me if they knew the truth of what I am. Leave me to dwell on my mortality in peace! I am not your brother, and thank the Norns for that. Finally, I am free from your shadow, and I have no desire to slither beneath it again.”
Loki’s resilience had reached its limit. Without so much as a backward glance at his brother of over a thousand years, Loki ripped open the door and fled from the suffocating room. He considered leaving SHIELD altogether but knew no more than an hour had passed and there may still be crowds of people hungry to know what was happening inside the mysterious building.
Rather than face the stares of gawking onlookers, Loki darted in the direction of his quarters—the closest thing he had to something truly his in all the realms.
Notes:
I just love a family reunion, don't you?
~~~
Song Inspiration: Studying Politics by Emery
Chapter 13: Just Take a Breath and Let It All Out
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Darcy watched the whole exchange—and heard every word—from the other side of the one-way mirror. At first, Fury was reluctant to let her join him and the rest of the agents spying on Loki, but she insisted on pain of…well, on pain of making Fury’s life miserable with her influence over his latest “assets”—the scientist and the alien—who happened to be her two besties.
Was she overselling her potential to get Jane and Loki to listen to her? 100% yes. But she was pretty good at bluffing, and Fury didn’t have the patience to argue the point.
So it was that Darcy found herself in the surveillance area right next to the interrogation room where Loki and Thor were having it out. Opposite the window looking in on the two brothers was a wall of security monitors that switched between several points on this floor of the facility. Darcy suppressed a chill as the monitors shifted to reveal the living quarters, showcasing her unmade bed and mess of dirty laundry for all to see. I really need to get my own place , Darcy mused uncomfortably, thinking with surprising fondness of her dorm room sitting unoccupied back at Culver.
Darcy watched with tears in her eyes as Loki practically ran from his brother at the end of their argument. More pieces of the puzzle that was Loki clicked into place as she reconciled his terror during the combat fiasco with the words he spat at Thor. Apparently, she had more in common with Loki than she initially realized.
He’s adopted too…and it sounds like this is pretty recent info. for him. Remembering her own pain at learning her parents lied to her about where she came from, she couldn’t imagine adding on top of that the discovery that you’re not even the same species as the rest of your family.
Perhaps I simply am the monster I was born to be.
Darcy didn’t believe that for a second, but it was obvious Loki did. And why wouldn’t he, when the man he grew up calling father had kicked him out of the only home he ever knew? His only options were to believe there was something wrong with his father—the literal king —or to determine that he himself was the problem.
It made Darcy sick to her stomach just thinking about it. Her parents had lied to her, but their love for her was never in question. She knew they cared for her more than anything. It was the only reason she felt so comfortable staying mad at them like this—because she knew they’d welcome her home in a heartbeat as soon as she was ready.
Loki, on the other hand…who did he have?
Darcy looked again at the monitors on the other end of the surveillance room, where Loki was now visible back in his own room. He had been standing completely still with his eyes trained on the ground for several minutes as they all watched either him or Thor—equally still and alone in the interrogation room—in silence.
Without warning, Loki drew a dagger from his side and thrust it at the camera, shattering the screen in static. Darcy didn’t blame him—she’d want some privacy too after a reunion like that .
Fury cursed under his breath. “Agent Barton, accompany me to see to our new guest. Coulson, do me a favor and make sure your charge doesn’t do anything…rash?
Coulson nodded and rose from his chair by the monitors, but Darcy put a hand on his shoulder to stop him before she even had time to consider what she was doing. “Let me talk to him? I’m kinda his only friend on this planet. Possibly anywhere, actually.”
Coulson watched her with interest before casting a questioning look in Fury’s direction, seeking his superior’s input on the matter. Fury sighed, “Frankly I don’t care who goes so long as the person who does it can make sure the camera is the only thing he’s going to destroy today. Agent or no, I find it hard to entirely trust someone not from Earth.”
Darcy was tempted to make similar comments to the ones she directed at Professor Selvig back in Puente Antiguo, but managed to hold her tongue in favor of reaching Loki faster. Not that I have the slightest clue what I’m gonna do once I get to him. Last time he didn’t even let me in.
As expected, there was no response when Darcy knocked at Loki’s door. What she didn’t expect was that when she tried the handle, the door would actually open this time. Tentatively, Darcy stepped into the empty bedroom. The only sign Loki had been in there was the dagger stabbed into the remains of a small camera mounted on the wall. The device was still sparking faintly, and Darcy couldn’t help but be impressed at Loki’s ability to strike such a small target while hardly even glancing at it.
“Loki? Are you here? It’s just Darcy. I can go if you don’t want company, but Fury wanted someone to look in on you…I thought maybe you’d prefer me to your boss.” Darcy stood in the doorway, straining her ears to hear any noise. Any confirmation that he hadn’t fled the premises.
A tight exhale gasped faintly from the pitch-black bathroom, as if Loki were desperately trying to keep himself silent. Like a child trying not to cry while hiding from their parents.
Darcy softly closed the door to Loki’s room behind her and padded slowly toward the bathroom. Peeking cautiously through the doorway, she could faintly make out Loki’s silhouette behind the tempered glass of the shower door, curled tightly in on himself.
“I’m coming in, okay Loki? Do me a favor and don’t throw your other dagger at me?”
Silence.
Darcy flipped on the light and, when Loki still didn’t budge from his makeshift hideout, went to sit on the floor next to the shower. She saw his head lift slightly to look at her, but couldn’t make out any features through the textured door that separated them.
Darcy figured he appreciated the silence, but unfortunately, that was never her strong suit and she could only take so much. Still, she managed to hold her tongue for a good half hour before she spoke, desperate to find some way to help. “Man, I always wanted a sibling, but after seeing yours…well, being an only child doesn’t seem so bad,” Darcy joked.
Loki didn’t even scoff or yell at her to get out. He just turned his head away, burying it between his knees again.
“Sorry, we don’t have to talk about…him,” Darcy mumbled guiltily, “And sorry we listened in on all of that. I guess privacy isn’t much of a thing with super secret government operations, huh? I am kind of surprised they let me stay, but I just thought someone who knows you should be there. Not that I know you super well, but I like to consider us friends. And it never hurts to have an ally on the other side of things.”
Darcy leaned her head back against the wall, looking up at the smooth, white ceiling. It looked so pure, so innocent, like a child’s nursery. She wondered if Loki ever had a nursery. She supposed he must have had the Asgardian equivalent, being a prince and all. By adoption anyway.
A part of Darcy wasn’t surprised at all to learn that Loki was adopted. It helped her understand why she felt so drawn to him even better. They’d both been lied to about their true heritage. At least he knows who his real parents are now , Darcy thought, surprised at the tinge of bitterness that poisoned her mind. She pushed it out quickly, reminding herself of how Thor had been intent on protecting Loki from his true father.
Ever the external processor, Darcy blurted, “Your dad must be a real dick.”
This statement seemed to shock Loki out of his silence at last, and he lifted his head to look at her through the shower door again and said lowly— almost jokingly, “Which one?”
Not wanting to let him retreat back into his shell, Darcy latched onto the topic with renewed purpose. “Both of them, I guess. I mean, one left you and the other banished you. Talk about daddy issues.”
“Do not pity me, Miss Lewis. A few tense words overheard between me and Thor do not make you an expert on my personal affairs.”
“Oh, so we’re back to ‘Miss Lewis’ now? Drop the formalities, dude. I’ve seen you shirtless,” when Loki didn’t bite back, Darcy got off the defensive and went back to her efforts at consolation, “Look, Loki, I know you’re hurting. I know this whole situation really has to suck. But wallowing isn’t gonna fix it, and neither is pushing away everyone who extends an offer of support—of friendship . If you can’t accept help, how do you expect to heal?”
She expected further argument, but instead, Loki just chuckled darkly. “I’m afraid those who would consider me friend are few and far between. I learned long ago to only truly rely on myself, and it has served me well thus far.”
Darcy frowned. “That sounds like a really lonely way to live.”
Loki paused to consider this, then whispered with surprising honesty, “It is.”
Darcy clambered up quickly to move out of the way as the shower door pushed open and Loki stepped out into the lighted bathroom. His hair was an absolute mess and his eyes were puffy and bloodshot. His expression, though calm, held an air of defeat—a cloud of depression darkening his entire demeanor. Even as he towered over her, Darcy thought she’d never seen someone look so small.
The two stared at each other as they stood less than a foot apart in the cramped quarters of the bathroom. Darcy didn’t dare move, honestly expecting him to shut himself back in the shower at the slightest twitch on her part.
This time, Loki was the one to break the silence. “How do you know I’m even capable of healing? What makes you think I’m worthy of your kinship? You have seen my true, monstrous form…but you know not who I truly am. What I’ve done.” He cast his eyes downward, avoiding her gaze, “One is not simply banished from Asgard without just cause, particularly a member of the royal family.”
“Everyone screws up, Loki, and from what you said to Thor, it seemed like you thought you were doing what was best at the time.” Darcy stepped forward, prying Loki’s clenched fist apart to wrap her hand in his comfortingly, “We’ve all got darkness inside of us. Sometimes we need someone else to provide some light and help us find our way out of it. That’s all I want to do—share some light so you can get through this. Like you did for me.”
Loki’s brows shot up in surprise as he met her eyes. “What have I ever done for you? It is you who have provided for me—cared for me—when I had nowhere to go. I have done nothing but be a burden .” The deprecating bite in the last word made it clear this wasn’t the first time he felt that way in his life.
“Oh, shut up,” Darcy smiled, pulling away with a teasing slap at Loki’s hand, “I told you, Lost Puppy Syndrome. Anyway, you’ve done more for me than you know. You listened when I had no one else to talk to about my own family stuff. I know it’s nothing compared to yours, but still. It helped to talk to someone who didn’t tell me to get over it or try to fix everything.”
Loki’s sharp green eyes softened as he reached a hand out toward her, the tips of his fingers lightly grazing her cheek. Darcy’s eyes fluttered shut, and she breathed in the sweet scent of cinnamon that always followed in his presence.
Just as she leaned into his touch, he pulled away and walked briskly around her and out of the close confines of the bathroom. As Darcy followed, he turned to face her from his position against the far wall.
“I cannot promise any sort of devotion in return. I cannot even promise honesty. I am called the God of Lies for a reason. Being truthful is not something that comes naturally.”
Darcy nodded in understanding, and Loki looked surprised at how casually she accepted his conditions, “You don’t have to tell me everything, just what you want to. Besides, if I remember correctly, your full title is the God of Mischief and Lies. I’m thinking these stiffs could use a little bit of that mischief around here.” Darcy winked, indicating her willingness to participate.
Loki’s smile was nothing if not devious. “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful partnership, Minn Ijós .”
Darcy furrowed her brows at the unfamiliar term. “ Mini O’s? That’s a new one. What does it mean?”
Loki simply shrugged, collapsing casually into the lone chair in the room. The ease with which he lounged reminded Darcy of the cocky attitude he had when SHIELD first showed up at the lab. When his eyes had danced playfully as he held up a finger to silence her and made his escape. It still baffled her that he actually stayed after that.
“Ooookay, fine. Don’t tell me. I should probably head back anyway and let Fury know you’re not planning to run away or destroy the city or whatever it was he thought you were gonna do. But we can talk more soon? Lunch again tomorrow?”
Loki hesitated for a moment before nodding, “Yes, that sounds agreeable.”
Darcy gave him one last reassuring smile before turning toward the door.
“Darcy?”
Darcy paused with her hand on the doorknob, looking back at Loki over her shoulder, who would not meet her eyes. “Yeah, Loki?”
“...thank you.”
Rushing back across the room before she could talk herself out of it, Darcy wrapped her arms around Loki, who sat stunned in his chair.
“You’re not alone anymore, Loki," she whispered in his ear. "You may not have much experience with friends, but you have one now. So get used to it.”
Darcy felt his Adam’s apple bob against her collarbone as he swallowed thickly and slowly brought his arms up to wrap lightly around her back. As he did so, the stress from the last several days eased from Darcy’s shoulders. She felt safe with him, and as she soaked in that feeling of comfort, Darcy considered that maybe Loki wasn’t the only one who needed a friend right now.
Notes:
I'd like to dedicate this chapter to everyone commenting and saying Loki needs a Darcy hug.
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Song Inspiration: If I Were a Friend by BLÜ Eyes (go listen to it if you need a good cry)
Chapter 14: Secrets I Have Held in My Heart
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Two weeks passed with no further word from Coulson regarding Loki’s “first mission.” Loki figured they either realized how foolish it was to trust a Jotun—never mind the fact that these mortals didn’t even know what a Frost Giant was —or Thor’s grandstanding made them wary of Loki’s other heritage. Regardless of the reason, Loki was apparently on shore leave. And he hated every minute of it—well, almost every minute.
Between sulking in his room reading and attempting to seek out alternative accommodations (now that he had a somewhat legitimate mortal identity to work with), Loki spent the majority of his time accompanying Darcy and Jane in their work. The two had largely finished setting up all of Jane’s equipment, creating a near replica of the lab where he first met the astrophysicist.
Jane’s constant barrage of questions was, surprisingly enough, not unwelcome to Loki. It was refreshing to converse with someone who actually had an interest in things beyond combat and conquest, and Dr. Foster was far more intelligent than most. She also greatly appreciated his own intellect, which was an unfamiliar feeling. Never had Loki felt so appreciated for his academic leanings.
On this particular afternoon, they were yet again discussing Jane’s favorite subject: the Bifrost.
“So if you can merge the two singularities across locations,” Jane said, tracing a number of planets on the whiteboard and drawing a line between two of them, “then it creates an Einstein-Rosen Bridge—”
“In its simplest form, yes. But you’re still thinking far too linear,” Loki approached the board next to Jane and began drawing an intricate series of branches connecting the planetary points.
“Sooooo…it’s a tree?” Darcy interjected, picking up on the shape Loki was creating.
“Yes. No. Well, somewhat,” Loki sighed, pressing his fingers on the bridge of his nose in frustration, “It is called Yggdrasil and—Norns, if I only had my seidr I could create an illusion projection and demonstrate this so much more clearly.”
“Your seidr,” Jane mumbled, scribing furiously in her beloved notebook, “And that’s magic, right? Which you can do normally, but not now?”
“Indeed,” Loki murmured in reply, still fixated on the whiteboard and trying to piece together an explanation for the Bifrost that the mortals could comprehend. Jane and Darcy were certainly a cut above the rest, but it was still a massive undertaking to explain something in a matter of weeks that he himself had studied for centuries. There simply was not enough time in a short, mortal life.
A shortened lifetime that Loki now shared with his new companions.
Thinking about his temporal nature always left Loki agitated, which he expelled this time by childishly flinging the marker against the board and storming over to sit in a chair on the other side of the room, crossing his arms in a clear sign of leave-me-alone-or-I’ll-bite-you.
It never worked, of course. Darcy was frustratingly immune to Loki’s irascible nature. Leaving Jane to her fervent study of Loki’s bare-bones diagram, Darcy skipped over to perch on the table next to him. “You know,” she began, swinging her legs casually, “You told me you didn’t have your magic because you were tired from the whole interdimensional travel thing. But it’s been a few weeks since then…I’m no expert, but you seem fine to me, physically speaking anyway.”
She left her question unspoken, hanging in the air between them like a noose awaiting Loki’s neck. He shot a glare in her direction before rising and making his way out of the laboratory. He didn’t have to look behind him to know she would follow soon after.
It had become a sort of code between them. Darcy had an uncanny ability of reading Loki—even when he himself didn’t know what it was he wanted or needed. If he truly needed to be alone, she would let him be. But when he needed someone to talk to—or someone to just be there —she always knew somehow. She always came.
By the time Loki had settled in his favorite dark corner of the local coffee shop, the bell on the door was already chiming to signal her arrival.
Darcy took in the two beverages and slice of cake with two forks sitting on his table with surprise. “You expecting someone?” she said in a half-joking way.
Loki gave her a look that was decidedly unimpressed. “You, of course, given your insufferable tendency to follow me wherever I go.”
Darcy smiled, obviously sensing the lack of conviction in his rather rude words. “Cool, thanks!” After settling across from him and helping herself to a generous bite of the coffee cake, Darcy rested her chin on her hands and looked at Loki with rapt attention. “Alright, spill, Harry Potter. What’s going on with you?”
Loki knew he needed to tell someone what he was going through. Loki could feel the burden of his future pressing him down more and more each day. Coupled with the hollowness at having his seidr torn away…it was a wonder he had yet to sink entirely into madness.
“Funny thing about being the God of Lies,” he began, leaning on humor like a crutch, “I tend to lie.”
Darcy snorted, “Yeah, I gathered that. So what was the lie? That you’re gonna get your powers back, or that you ever had any to begin with?”
Loki laughed bitterly. “The former, of course. I am the most powerful sorcerer in all of Asgard—perhaps all of the Nine combined. That is not a title simply earned through lies and rumors, I promise you.”
“Alright, I get it. Your head’s looking big enough already, no need to inflate it more. So why is the greatest-sorcerer-ever suddenly powerless?”
Loki sobered as a pang swept through him, reaching instinctually toward the seidr at his core before drawing back as if burned. “I told you I was banished…but it was much more than that,” Loki cleared his throat, taking a sip of his hot chocolate and schooling his features into a disinterested mask before laying all bare, “The Allfather saw fit to strip me of my seidr and my immortality before casting me unceremoniously to your realm.”
Darcy, who had herself been taking a hearty swig of her own beverage, abruptly spat it out, soaking the table and Loki’s crisp white button-down in the bitter brown liquid. The entire establishment went silent, all turning bewildered eyes on Darcy as she blushed and went to collect a pile of napkins to get Loki and the table cleaned up.
“This would be a particularly favorable time to have my seidr,” Loki jested, not unkindly, “I quite liked this shirt.”
“I’m so sorry!” Darcy anguished, dabbing napkins against the ruined fabric, “That was probably the grossest thing I’ve ever done. But I mean, in my defense, that bomb you just dropped was definitely spit-take worthy. I heard what you said to Thor about life expectancy and all that, but…you’re immortal?? ”
“I was ,” Loki clarified, “Now I am simply another mortal living out my pathetically short existence on Mid—apologies, Earth .”
“Yeah, I got that part. But… immortal ,” Darcy sunk back into her seat, too stunned to focus on Loki’s soaked and stained state any longer, “Wait, how old are you?”
Loki paused for a moment, considering the differences in Midgardian and Asgardian time, “I suppose in your time, I would be one thousand and seventy years of age.”
If Darcy’s jaw could have hit the floor, it would have. “Wow. We must seem like toddlers to you. Not even that. Newborns. ”
Loki smiled faintly, “It is not entirely the same thing. You humans do mature at a faster rate than Asgardians. And given your shorter lifespans, I cannot deny you know how to make the most of it. That does…help, when faced with the inevitability of one’s impending demise.”
“Well that’s a pretty pessimistic outlook, don’t you think?” Despite the pushback Darcy was giving, Loki could see the compassion in her eyes. Not pity, never pity, but care . Understanding. Companionship. “I am sorry, though,” Darcy continued, looking down at the mug she cupped between her hands, “I’ve lived my whole life knowing I only had a century at best ahead of me. To expect an eternity and suddenly find out you’ve only got decades…I can’t even begin to imagine how that feels.”
Although sharing this much was a relief, Loki still felt the need to tell Darcy more. He had no idea where this sick obsession with laying himself completely naked and vulnerable before a woman he had known for an insignificant fraction of his life came from, but he found it best not to question it. Having someone to talk to…well, he had never had that before.
“It would seem I find myself in need of a new shirt. Might we return to my quarters before continuing this conversation? Unless you are needed by Miss Foster, of course—”
“Loki,” Darcy cut him off, “I already asked Jane if I could take off for a couple hours, and she said to take the afternoon. I’m all yours, don’t even worry about it. But yeah…a new shirt might be good. Sorry, again.”
The two disposed of the soiled napkins and their empty coffee cups as they made their way out of the shop. As they made their way down the street in the direction of headquarters, Loki felt a sharp prickling up his spine and knew they were being followed. Never one to give away an advantage, he simply slung his arm casually over Darcy’s shoulder and engaged her in a light debate over when the last time Jane took an actual break was. Despite keeping his senses on high alert under the surface, they made it back without incident. Loki never saw nor heard their pursuer, but he was certain that they had not made the journey back alone.
Darcy crossed her legs underneath her and propped herself against the headboard of Loki’s bed, waiting patiently as he changed out of his ruined shirt. Unfortunately, he went into the bathroom to do so, rudely preventing her from making more salacious comments at his expense.
She’d get him next time.
Although the walk back had been pleasant enough, when Loki came out of the bathroom he had returned to the more sullen, distant state in which he had spent the majority of their time in the coffee shop. Clearly, he had more to unburden before this session of friendship-therapy was over.
“You don’t have to be fake with me, y’know. I can tell when you’re putting up a wall.”
Loki rolled his eyes and looked as though he were about to deny any such attitude, but on making eye contact he simply exhaled forcefully and collapsed into the chair that sat next to the bed where a nightstand should be. He stared down at his hands with a hollowness that had much more honesty to it than the mask he wore moments earlier. Darcy bit back her string of questions, allowing him the time she knew he needed to collect his thoughts before speaking.
It was five minutes and forty-six seconds before he clenched his fists and looked up at her again.
“This is difficult to explain,” he began, “In large part because seidr is simply not a concept you can understand fully without having experienced it. But having my… powers taken away…it is much more than a simple loss of ability.” Loki brought his hand up to his sternum absentmindedly, as if searching for another heartbeat.
“It is like living your entire life as the picture of health, and then suddenly losing your sight, your hearing, and your ability to speak all at once. Everything around me—within me—is dulled. Empty. I’ve lost a piece of myself, but I can still feel it. Just barely. Yet it is locked away, forever out of my reach. And if I try to unlock it—” Loki winced “—the result is…unpleasant. But at times I cannot help it. It is as instinctual to me as breathing, but if I take so much as a single breath then I…drown.”
Loki was right. Darcy couldn’t possibly understand, being only human herself. But even imagining living in the way he described…it was kind of amazing he was doing so well , all things considered.
“I may not be able to relate,” she whispered softly, reaching out to brush his disheveled hair away from his tear-stained face, “But I do know that you’re the strongest person I know.”
Loki’s eyes widened as he looked up at her in bewilderment, “ Strong? ” he chuckled half-heartedly, “You are the first person who has ever described me as such.”
“Loki, you just told me you’re literally surviving as half a man after having thousands of years stripped away from you. Anyone who can do that without going insane is pretty strong in my book. Plus, you actually opened up about it. I mean, a licensed therapist would probably be able to help you more than I can but…I know that takes a lot of courage.”
Loki seemed to consider this perspective for a minute before letting the mask slide smoothly back into place and crossing his arms, signaling the end of Sharing Time. “Well, now you know the truth. My great weakness. I don’t suppose SHIELD will still be particularly interested in my services when they discover it. Who wants a sorcerer on their side who cannot cast the most basic illusion?” Loki’s eyes glanced up at the still-busted camera in the corner, as if making sure no one was listening (There had been only one attempt to replace the camera with a not-stabbed one that Darcy knew of, but Loki just threatened to bust it again).
“Um, I’m sorry, are we talking about the same magicless sorcerer who held his own against Black Widow ?”
“Who?”
“Natasha. That’s her codename, or call sign, or whatever they call it. She’s like, literally the best fighter here. Basically a superhero. You should have heard how everyone gossiped about the two of you after your assessment—”
“You mean about the fact that a human survived an encounter with an alien monster?” Loki bit out, though it seemed more habitual than anything.
Darcy rolled her eyes, “I mean yeah, there was a little bit of shock from those who didn’t believe you weren’t human before that. But mostly everyone just couldn’t shut up about the fact that there was finally another agent around here on Nat’s level. If you think SHIELD would dump you just because you can’t do something that none of us can do anyway…well, let’s just say it’s their loss if they’re stupid enough to do that.”
Loki snorted delicately, turning aside to hide the slight reddening of his cheeks at the compliment.
Unable to resist the chance to fluster the aptly named God of Mischief further, Darcy hopped from her perch on the bed and leaned down to plant a quick kiss on Loki’s cheek before, indulging briefly in his cinnamony scent before ruffling his hair and skipping toward the exit. “Come on, that coffee cake wasn’t enough for me. Let’s go grab some food from the cafeteria and see how much I can convince Jane to eat before she starts the graveyard shift.”
When she turned to look back at Loki, Darcy was surprised to find him already standing directly behind her, forcing her to crane her neck upwards to make eye contact. “ Ér aldri sjá hvernig ér ljóma, Minn Ijós .” His voice was low and inviting as he rumbled the strange language in her ear, leaning down until their lips were millimeters apart.
Just as Darcy tilted her chin up to make contact, Loki pulled back with a satisfied smirk before winking and gliding around her to open the door. “You forget who it is you attempt to seduce, Darcy. It was I who introduced such dalliance to your realm, after all.”
Unphased, Darcy simply smiled her appreciation and swept past him out the door, tossing a light-hearted “Challenge accepted” over her shoulder before switching the conversation back to Jane’s problematic habit of forgetting to eat or sleep.
Notes:
I wasn't originally planning to share translations for Loki's Asgardian until the end of the book, but half of you looked up what he called Darcy in the last chapter anyway ;) I'll start putting translations at the end of the end notes, so don't read past the song recommendation if you want to live in ignorance with Darcy!
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Song Inspiration: I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys
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TRANSLATIONS:
"Ér aldri sjá hvernig ér ljóma, Minn Ijós" - "You will never understand how you shine, My Light."
Chapter 15: We Built This Town on Shaky Ground
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“I’m feeling a strong sense of—what is that phrase you Midgardians are so fond of? Ah yes, déjà vu .”
Loki sat yet again in the stiff metal chair across from his “handler,” waiting to finally learn what his future would hold with SHIELD. And once more he was prepared for the worst, fully expecting SHIELD to at long last come to their senses about the ticking time bomb they had acquired in Loki Laufey son.
But there Coulson sat, elbows resting on his desk and fingers laced loosely in front of him as he took in Loki’s characteristic snark with bemusement. “You know, most people would jump at the chance to get paid for just sitting around.”
“Well, idle hands and all,” Loki shrugged, stamping down the rush of impatience that flooded his system like a drug. Ennui had always been the bane of Loki’s existence. It was why he earned the title of Trickster at such a young age—he loathed feeling purposeless. Useless. “Now are you going to put my skills to use at long last or am I to seek alternative employment?”
Coulson wordlessly slid a thin black folder across the desk to Loki just as Agent Romanoff appeared stealthily in the chair next to him. Loki hadn’t even heard her come into the room and flushed with irritation at his lack of awareness. He was growing complacent. Having a real job to do was looking better by the second.
“Has he been briefed?” Natasha inquired, snatching up the folder before Loki could reach for it. He shot daggers at the agent for her impertinence, but she took no notice as she flipped casually through the thin pages.
“I was just getting to that, Agent Romanoff,” Coulson replied, “But seeing as you are here, it would seem our time is up. Loki, the two of you will be partnered for this mission. I trust Romanoff will fill you in on the details en route?”
Natasha shrugged, relaxing back into her chair as she closed the folder and rested it atop her crossed legs. “We’re not taking off immediately, but we should gear up before hitting the skies. Besides, I figured the new guy would want to say goodbye to his girlfriend before we go.”
Entirely aware of both who Natasha was referring to and what she was insinuating—Migardian linguistics left very little to the imagination—Loki decided against arguing the point and instead rose coolly from his chair, deftly snatching the file from Natasha’s loose grip. “It would be a shame to not bid my adoring fans farewell, wouldn’t it? I will meet you on the helipad within the hour, partner .” After a nod of formal dismissal from Coulson, Loki left the office and made his way back to his quarters to prepare for his first official assignment as a SHIELD agent.
As he walked briskly down empty hallways, he scanned through the black folder in earnest. It seemed this assignment was to be fairly covert—no more than he and Romanoff, in fact. They would be investigating rumors of a militant upcropping outside of Sacramento—the remnants of a war-mongering group known as HYDRA.
Other than a brief report on the rumored hideout from Agent Rumlow and a map of the area, the file was primarily made up of historical data regarding the terror organization and its background with a patriotic character known as “Captain America.”
Loki smirked as he observed a picture of this fabled hero before commenting over his shoulder at his newly assigned partner—he was getting better at tracking her movements—“So this is what Earth’s mightiest hero looked like, is it?”
“He was one for the books, that’s for sure,” Natasha confirmed, quickening her pace until she was at Loki’s side, leaning over slightly to study the image he was holding, “Captain Steve Rogers. The outfit was a little campy, but he was more than what journalists liked to paint him as.”
“Oh, please. I think they got the cut of him quite accurately. I can just feel the righteousness surging.” This comment earned an eye roll from Natasha, but Loki took the slight quirk at the corner of her lips as a sign of victory.
“Judge all you want,” she replied evenly, “But there was a time when that face was plastered on every bedroom wall in America. Still is in a lot of them.” Natasha stepped ahead of Loki before spinning to face him, still keeping pace as if walking backward or forwards truly made no difference to her. “Well, partner , wings up in forty. So grab your daggers and whatever else you need, get that goodbye smooch, and I’ll see you up top.”
“You mortals are shockingly vulgar at times,” Loki wrinkled his nose in distaste, but Natasha had already turned down another hallway, leaving him alone in front of his quarters. He snapped the folder shut in irritation, swiped his I.D. over the locking mechanism, and shut himself in the darkness to begin his preparations.
For the first time in weeks, Darcy walked into the lab alone. She only saw Loki briefly at breakfast before he had to leave for a meeting with Coulson. Maybe they’re finally gonna give him some real work to do , Darcy hoped. It wasn’t that she didn’t like having him around, but Loki was getting increasingly annoying as his cabin fever compounded.
Last week, his boredom resulted in him making all of the monitors in the lab lock up and show nothing but Nyan Cat on repeat whenever someone typed in the words “wormhole,” “Einstein-Rosen Bridge,” or “Bifrost.” Which, as it so happened, was a common occurrence in the astrophysics department of SHIELD.
Darcy still didn’t know how Loki learned about the little Pop-Tart kitten, and Jane was decidedly not amused. It took her half a day’s work to undo his meddling, and she refused to speak to him for four days afterward. They finally made peace when Loki offered to put his newly found tech savviness to good use and create a more detailed, digital diagram of the Bifrost in place of the whiteboard sketch from which Jane had been working.
Speaking of Jane, the workaholic was miraculously still asleep when Darcy left for breakfast that morning—probably because Darcy had turned off Jane’s alarm the night before—completely by accident, of course. Oops. Given her current absence from her work, Darcy hoped she still was.
That hope was instantly dashed when Jane came through the doors just as Darcy was logging into her workstation, deep in conversation with a tall, muscular man Darcy recognized as one of Loki’s combat opponents from weeks earlier: Agent Rumlow. Something he said made Jane laugh, and Darcy was pleased to see her boss was at least toting a half-eaten muffin and a mug of coffee. Looks like I’m not the only person around here capable of getting her to slow down and eat once in a while .
“Hey, Darce!” Jane greeted with unusual pep for how late a start she was getting on her work for the day, “Have you met Brock yet? He’s been assigned to our lab for a while.”
“Not officially, but I’m pretty sure I watched him get his butt kicked recently,” Darcy quipped, smiling innocently.
The agent laughed good-naturedly and reached out to shake her hand. “A good agent can admit when he’s been bested, though in my defense I was fighting an alien who held his own against the best fighter at SHIELD. Nice to officially meet you, Darcy.”
“Same to you, Brock. But don’t take this the wrong way…you don’t really look like much of the sciencey type?”
Brock nodded in avid agreement as he flipped a chair around to straddle it backward. “I’m not, but Fury likes to have agents keeping tabs on the really high-profile research, especially when it’s as classified as Jane’s work. I’m here to help however I can, but really I’m just a glorified guard dog assigned to make sure no one messes around with SHIELD’s top astrophysicist.”
Darcy furrowed her brow, “I guess that makes sense, but why now? I mean, we’ve been at it for weeks and never needed a guard before. What makes today so special?”
“I believe I can provide clarification on that matter, Miss Lewis.” Nick Fury’s deep baritone rang out as the intimidating director of SHIELD strode into the room, flanked by Agents Barton and Hill—both armed to the teeth. The trio moved forward with purpose until they stood on the other side of an empty metal table, directly across from the astrophysicists and their new assistant-slash-bodyguard.
Brock practically jumped out of his seat to stand at attention and salute his superior, while Darcy scrambled awkwardly up, filled with the absurd sense that she should bow or…curtsy or something.
“Director Fury, to what do we owe the pleasure?” Jane addressed their fearsome leader with surprising calm, causing Darcy to wonder if her previous eagerness had less to do with their new bodyguard and more to do with prior knowledge that something big was going to happen today.
“Well, Dr. Foster,” Fury began, “to be perfectly blunt, your work has impressed a lot of people who are a lot smarter than I am. Now that you’re more established, I think it’s high time we told you why you’re really here.”
As Fury spoke, Agent Barton moved back to the door and tapped an extensive combination into the keypad. A subtle shifting of metal announced the door locking securely, followed by shades slowly lowering to cover the windows that separated the lab from the hallway.
While Darcy watched this with increasing trepidation, Agent Hill placed a large metal briefcase on the table between them. Jane was practically bouncing with excitement, blissfully unaware that anything going on might be in any way sketchy or dangerous.
“Okay I’m glad you appreciate Jane’s smartness and all, but the whole cloak-and-daggers act is really beginning to freak me out, and I don’t even have my taser. Can you cut to the chase—” Darcy gulped as she was faced with the full power of Fury’s glare, “...sir?”
Fury nodded to Hill, who began to undo the clasps on the briefcase. “Legend tells us one thing, history another. But every once in a while we find something that belongs to both.”
Hill turned the case around to face Jane and Darcy before lifting the lid to reveal a glowing, pulsing blue cube.
The door to the lab was locked.
After Loki had collected his daggers, a small pack of spare attire, and his leather trench coat—yet again considering and rejecting his Asgardian leathers, which felt more and more each day as if they belonged to a different person altogether—he had made for the lab to inform Darcy and Jane of his imminent departure. They had been making great strides in their research of interdimensional travel, but without his assistance, they would surely struggle. It was out of respect for Jane’s research that Loki would make his farewells. Nothing more.
The curtained windows of the lab were disconcerting, but not so much as the conspicuously locked door. Loki even attempted to swipe his SHIELD I.D. card, to no avail. Although it was precisely what he had been expecting from day one with SHIELD, Loki had never been denied entry into any part of the facility. Granted, he only ever ventured so far as the lab, the cafeteria, and his own quarters, but his identification had seemed to be a right of passage through these halls. What changed?
If you’re going to work with us, Agent Cooper, you will need to learn to trust us.
Loki stood a moment longer, considering knocking before his pride got the better of him. He should not be required to request entry after all the help he had given Dr. Foster and…Darcy.
He couldn’t deny a soft pang at the thought of leaving without seeing her. It was not a word he used lightly, but she truly had become a friend . Perhaps the only one he ever had. Regardless, if she stood on the other side of that door—a place where he was no longer welcome—then perhaps the time for friendship was at an end.
Just as Loki finally turned to make his way up to the helipad, the laboratory door beeped and opened to reveal none other than Darcy herself, looking up at him like a child caught sneaking sweets from the kitchens.
“Loki! Hey! I was just on my way to see you…going somewhere? What’s with the bag?”
“Natasha and I are leaving on a mission,” Loki said curtly, letting his irritation show before softening to add, “I’m not sure when I shall return.”
“Oh…well that sucks,” Darcy actually looked disappointed, much to Loki’s pleasure, “Who am I gonna spit my coffee on?”
Loki moved toward Darcy until she had to look up to maintain eye contact, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, “And who am I going to whisper sweet nothings and flirtations to? Somehow I do not think Natasha will take to it quite as you have.”
Darcy laughed and pushed his hand away with a dramatic eye roll, “You are such a tease! But you don’t have me fooled, dude—I know you’re a big softy.”
Loki gave her a gentle smile that wasn’t the least bit cynical, “I will never understand how you see through my mask so clearly, Minn Ijós . Maybe a trickster and a liar can be reformed after all.”
“Well, don’t reform too much,” Darcy wrapped her arms around Loki’s waist in a friendly embrace, causing him to stiffen for no more than a second before wrapping his arms lightly around her in return, “A little trickster vibe never hurt anybody. Much.”
“I will keep that in mind. But for now, I must go. I’m afraid Natasha is expecting me.”
Darcy pulled back with a pout, “Alright. Well, I’m guessing the nitty gritty is classified, so I won’t ask. But be careful, okay? Don’t forget you’re mortal now—a bullet wound might actually kill you.”
She said it in jest, but Loki could read the concern in her wide eyes plain as a clear blue sky. “I will take care, but you must promise me the same. I do not like this new arrangement regarding your laboratory—it is far too dark and secretive for my taste, and great dangers often lurk in such shadows.”
“Oh, you noticed that?” Darcy replied, suddenly avoiding his eyes and twirling her hair guiltily. “It’s just a sort of precaution. We’re studying some wild stuff, y’know, and don’t want it falling into the wrong hands.”
Her bald-faced lie was almost offensively obvious, reminding Loki of how out of sorts she seemed when she first exited the locked room. The nitty gritty is classified , she had said. Well then, he supposed her work was due the same respect as his own. Much as it irked him to admit it.
Not wanting to put Darcy in what would clearly be a difficult position, Loki gently tilted her chin up and whispered, “Just be careful, Minn Ijós .”
“Are you ever going to tell me what ‘Mini O’s’ means?” Darcy grumbled.
Loki simply took her hand in his and lifted it in a princely gesture honed with a thousand years of practice, brushing his lips delicately across her knuckles. “ Unz vit mœta endr, Minn Ijós. ”
And with a sweeping bow, Loki left, smirking at the fading sound of Darcy’s teasing complaints.
Notes:
I know this one was pretty short and expositional, but it's necessary to set up all the fun times to come! Hope you still enjoyed it!
Song: "Atlantis" by Seafret
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Translations:
"Unz vit mœta endr, Minn Ijós" - "Until we meet again, My Light."
Chapter 16: Fall Short of the Mark
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Our target is a seemingly abandoned warehouse about 50 miles west of Sacramento,” Natasha explained, repeating what Loki had already reviewed in the mission brief several times before boarding the jet, “SHIELD has been tracking suspected HYDRA operatives for the last several months, and the most recent report identified an uptick of activity in the county. Our job is to sneak in undercover, collect what information we can on their plans, and get out without being caught. Think you can handle that, Agent Cooper?”
Loki looked sidelong at his partner as she turned back to the jet controls—though the plane seemed to be handling itself just fine without her help. “Where I come from, I am known as Loki Silvertongue. One does not earn such a title by being a raucous brute, so yes. I think I can handle that , Agent Romanoff.”
Her teasing smile confirmed that she never doubted it, “We’re about four hours from the drop site if you wanna catch some Z’s instead of poring over the file for the fiftieth time.”
Loki froze halfway through his fifty-first reread of the mission brief, chastising himself for wearing his eagerness like a diadem. “I’ve never been one for languor,” he admitted, letting the folder fall shut in his lap and instead drawing a dagger to twirl in his impatient hand.
“I know the feeling,” Natasha empathized, “Well in that case, why don’t you take the wheel so I can get some sleep? I’ve been up for the last 24 hours and I’d rather not go into this physically compromised.”
Loki raised his eyebrows in surprise, “You would have your life in the hands of an extraterrestrial who doesn’t know the first thing about flying jets?”
“Oh please,” Natasha rolled her eyes, “Are you honestly trying to convince me you’re not the one who stole the Quinjet manuals that mysteriously disappeared days after your arrival? Besides, this thing literally flies itself most of the time. Just wake me up when we’re getting close.”
Before Loki could respond, Natasha had fully switched the controls to autopilot and retired to the empty passenger cabin, leaving Loki alone to watch their progress.
He still didn’t know why he was here, of all the possible agents who could have been assigned to this mission. Naturally, he knew he was perfect for undercover operations—more so if he had use of his shapeshifting and illusions—but SHIELD still knew relatively little about him. Why would he be sent on such a sensitive mission? Why not one of the other agents who had actually dedicated the last several months to studying HYDRA’s every move?
He couldn’t help but suspect it had something to do with the locked laboratory. Perhaps it wasn’t locked to the majority of SHIELD—perhaps only his ID was barred from entry. What are you hiding from me, Fury?
Loki’s musings were rudely interrupted after two hours of blissful silence when a dreadfully charismatic voice abruptly blared over the Quinjet’s intercom. “Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, this is Captain Stark speaking. We’re seeing nothing but clear skies and sunshine, so it’s looking like a beautiful day for flying.”
A red and gold metallic man flew up parallel to the Quinjet’s windshield and waved at Loki with the same irritating pep as the voice over the intercom. “Hey there, Rock of Ages! You must be the new guy. Where’s Red?”
Right on queue, Natasha stalked into the cockpit, glaring daggers at their new flight attendant. “Back off, Stark. This is a highly sensitive operation. We don’t need celebrities blasting in and blowing our cover.”
“Aw come on, Coach, put me in the game!” Stark pleaded, “Fury’s had me on the back burner for months. When are we gonna finally get this Avengers thing off the ground?”
“I thought you didn’t want to join Fury’s ‘Super Secret Boy Band?’”
“Well, I don’t. I mean, I didn’t,” it was truly amazing how expressive Stark could be with a cold mask of metal over his face, “but then I realized the whole friendly-neighborhood thing isn’t my speed either, and I got bored. Called up the boss but he’s been dodging me, even when you had a literal Norse god show up in Manhattan. So I did a little digging, found out you’re after HYDRA, and I want in.”
Natasha sighed in defeat, closing her eyes and rubbing her temples in frustration, “Fine, Tony. You stick to the skies and stay well out of range of any potential surveillance tech. We’ll radio you if we need backup.”
“Finally, my shot at the majors!” the metal man quipped before flying up and out of sight.
Loki was about to argue when the cockpit door suddenly opened and the man Natasha called Stark strolled in, still jabbering on. “You won’t regret this, Coach! I even brought my own sack lunch”—Stark pulled a bottle of alcohol out of a compartment on his suit—“ and I made you some new tech to help us stay in touch.” At this, he tossed microscopic earpieces at both Natasha and Loki before retracting the faceplate from his helmet and revealing a rather scruffy-looking mortal with an absurdly charming smile.
Loki clenched his right hand tightly around the dagger he had been toying with and reached to draw the other from its sheath before Natasha placed a hand on his forearm in reassurance. “It’s okay, Loki, he’s harmless. Just nosy.”
“Wait, wait. Loki? I’m just connecting the dots here, but do you mean to tell me you not only made contact with the God of Thunder, but you also have his greasy little brother working for you? Oh man, I have so many questions—”
Loki gave Natasha an exasperated look before rising from his seat, drawing up to his full height to tower over the babbling mortal, “You would do well to respect your elders, Stark . Natasha may trust you, but that does not mean I will put up with such mockery.”
Loki took pleasure at the fear—or at least wariness—in Stark’s widening eyes, allowing the mortal to quell in it for a moment before relaxing his posture and snatching up the bottle of spirits, returning calmly to his seat and taking a swig of the smooth, amber liquid. “At very least,” he commented over his shoulder, “One should offer a gift to his hosts. I suppose this will suffice,” Loki handed the bottle across to Natasha, who took it with an approving smirk.
Eventually, the wariness faded from the stowaway’s expression, and he grinned at Loki before snatching his bottle back from Natasha and making a point of knocking back a much larger drink than either of his companions. “I like you, ‘Agent Cooper.’ Love your work in the airplane hijacking space, by the way.”
Their banter filled the remainder of the flight, and Loki determined Tony Stark wasn’t completely insufferable—though he certainly wouldn’t inform the man of that. His ego was expansive enough already.
“We’re coming up on the warehouse, so I need to activate the stealth shields. That means it’s time for you to go, Stark.”
Tony sighed in disappointment, but obediently headed for the exit, the faceplate sliding back down over his features, “Don’t have too much fun without me, kid,” he directed at Loki, who he still treated as an adolescent despite Loki’s insistence that he had lived at least twenty of Tony’s lifetimes, “Be good for mommy and I’ll buy you that pony you’ve been begging me for.”
“I’ll accept no less than eight legs on my new steed,” Loki quipped back without missing a beat.
“Wait…Sleipnir? Did that actually—”
“ Tony, time to go,” Natasha interrupted.
“Alright, alright, I’m going. Yeesh.”
The door to the cockpit closed, and within minutes the man of metal was flying in tandem with them once more. Stark saluted with a “See you on the other side” over the comms before vanishing.
“I must admit,” Loki commented to Natasha as he took in the empty space where Tony had flown (and possibly still did), “It is impressive how your people have harnessed technology so well as to almost imitate true magic.”
Natasha shrugged, “War and bloodshed tend to lend themselves to innovation, and we’ve had our fair share of that in our history. Speaking of, are you ready if this gets ugly?”
Loki’s full-toothed smile was anything but kind, “Oh, I certainly hope it does.”
Every time Darcy thought the weirdness was becoming normal, the universe seemed to throw a wrench in it. This Tesseract was more like an entire toolbox.
It had been only a few hours since Fury briefed them and left Jane, Darcy, and Brock to the high security, don’t-tell-anyone-or-else new research project, and already this giant ice cube was proving the most bizarre thing Darcy had encountered in these last several months of bizarre things. And she spent much of her days flirting with a literal god .
“So you’re saying this thing is, what…alive?” Darcy asked, still translating Jane-speak into English.
“Not ‘alive’ per se,” Jane clarified, avidly taking notes on the most recent bout of tests, “I mean, it doesn’t have a heartbeat or communicate but…it does seem to have a will of its own…an awareness. Just look at these calculations, they’re all over the place! It’s as if the object itself is actively interfering with my work.” Jane grumbled this last bit in exasperation.
“Couldn’t that just be the power it’s giving off messing up your tech?” interjected Brock from his perch on a nearby desk, “Maybe it’s just too strong for human equipment to get a read on. How does that make it self-aware?”
“That’s what I thought at first too,” said Jane, eager to have another party willing to listen, “But watch this,” Jane went over to the circuit breaker and shut off the power in the entire lab, flooding the room in darkness except for the Tesseract’s blue glow.
“Well that can’t be good for your tech,” Darcy mumbled into the eerie silence that followed the loss of power in the facility. No sooner had the words left her than the room once again filled with light and the faint hum of computers and machinery turning on—not just starting up, but returning to full power as if they were never shut off in the first place.
The Tesseract hummed above the rest as its glow brightened to an almost blinding light before receding. “You’ll notice the breakers are still flipped,” Jane explained, returning to Darcy’s side next to the Tesseract, “So there is no electrical power going to anything in this room right now. That’s all coming from the Tesseract, and we didn’t do anything to activate it.”
“Unbelievable,” Brock exhaled in awe, “So much power from such a small thing.”
“Size doesn’t always equate to power,” Jane replied, “Hey Darce, can you get the GRS set up and start running some more scans? I want to get some thorough readings on the gamma radiation coming off of this thing. We might be able to learn something more if we can just calculate exactly what levels it’s giving off.”
“This doesn’t make sense,” Natasha murmured, “Our intel was rock solid. How did they manage to clear out so quickly?”
Loki ran a finger over a barren desk, rubbing the thick layer of dust between his fingers before brushing it off on his sleeve. The warehouse was empty, but not just in the deserted sense—it was literally a hollow shell that had clearly been devoid of activity for years , “On the contrary, Natasha—I do not think HYDRA was ever here in the first place.”
“Yikes, you guys sure know how to pick ‘em,” Stark’s voice was notably close, not just the static over the comms that it should have been as he descended through a hole in the ceiling, coming to land in a cloud of dust right next to Loki, “This place is just begging for a rave. You ever been to one of those, Gene Simmons? It seems like the kind of thing you’d be into.”
With a dramatic eye roll, Loki replied, “Why is it that you mortals think invoking cultural references that I have no frame for makes you seem more intelligent than I? It is positively juvenile.”
“Juvenile’s pretty much what I was going for,” Stark replied, “Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s about time I made myself useful and proved how desperately you kids need my help.” With a flick of his wrist, Tony shot a grid of blue light out from his palm, painting the room in crisscrossing lines as he evidently scanned their surroundings.
Leaving the tagalong to his snooping, Loki walked over to Natasha, who was looking increasingly frustrated and concerned at this turn of events. “You say your intel was thorough,” Loki whispered, “So tell me. Who was your source?”
Natasha hesitated before answering, “Agent Brock Rumlow—one of the agents you fought during the combat assessment, actually. He’s been with SHIELD even longer than I have and has been invaluable in our operations against HYDRA. Usually, he’s the one who accompanies me on these sorts of operations, actually.”
Loki furrowed his brow, “So why did I, then? Why not use the very man who received intelligence regarding this supposed base of operations?”
Natasha shrugged, “He’s been out on assignment a lot lately, I think he needed the break. Anyway, it was actually his idea that you come instead of him.”
“Why would he suggest that? I’ve hardly met the man!”
“Well after sparring with you, he was one of your biggest advocates. He insisted that we needed an agent with your skills out on the field. If it weren’t for him and Coulson, you might still be under house arrest.”
“So tell me this, Natasha.” Loki replied darkly, “If this Rumlow is so loyal and eager to progress my career, then why would he send the two of us on this obviously dead-end mission?”
Before Natasha could respond, Tony cursed loudly and shut off his scanner before running over to them. “Because the whole thing was a setup! Time to go!” Unceremoniously grabbing Natasha and Loki each in his arms, Tony shot into the air.
Just as the trio blasted through the roof, the entire building exploded.
“Hey, wasn’t gamma radiation what turned that one scientist into a raging green monster?”
“Yes, Darcy, but that was different. Bruce Banner literally injected himself with an untested serum of the stuff. We’re not doing that, we’re just running scans on the radioactive waves the Tesseract is giving off. And powerful as this thing is, the gamma radiation is relatively harmless.”
“I’m sorry, did you say relatively ?” Sometimes Jane’s lack of concern for her own well-being in the name of science was a real pain, but Darcy had learned over their time working together that voicing such an opinion would just fall on deaf ears.
A soft beep from the laboratory entrance announced Brock’s return from the cafeteria. Setting a tray of sandwiches on a nearby table, Brock picked up two mugs of coffee and delivered one to Jane before bringing the second over to Darcy, “Need a little midday pick-me-up?” he joked, offering the cup to her.
“Sure, thanks,” Darcy took it appreciatively, though she was more grateful for the warmth seeping into her hands than the caffeine it could provide. After Rumlow turned to go talk with Jane, Darcy discreetly set the mug aside and went back to studying the gamma readings from the Tesseract. It wasn’t that she wasn’t tired, but caffeine made her jittery. And she already felt jittery enough from concern for Jane’s wellbeing and the nagging in the back of her head that hanging around gamma radiation was a surefire way to end up some kind of mutant. And the fact that her other best friend was Fury-knows-where doing Fury-knows-what.
Maybe she should fill Fury in on her and Loki’s no-secrets policy for future covert ops.
The sound of shattering ceramic pulled Darcy abruptly from her spiraling thoughts. Jane had dropped her mug of coffee and was swaying unsteadily on her feet, a hand pressed to her temple. Darcy rushed over as Jane collapsed, unconscious, into Brock’s arms.
“What happened? Is she okay? I’ll call Dr. Myers—” Darcy fumbled to pull her phone out of her pocket, but Brock reached out and gripped her wrist so painfully that she ended up dropping it on the floor.
“You should have drank the coffee I brought you, Miss Lewis,” Brock said darkly, allowing Jane to collapse to the floor and drawing his gun from his holster, “It’s rude to reject such a thoughtful gift.”
Darcy didn’t even have time to scream before Brock clubbed the gun against her head and the world went dark.
Notes:
You may have noticed I decreased the number of chapters for this book to 21. I've written well past that point, but upon further reflection, that chapter is a better place to end the first part of this series. So don't fret! Only five more chapters in book one, but book two will be right on its heels! Scout's honor!
Hope you all enjoyed Tony's grand entrance as much as I did.
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Song Inspiration: 505 by Arctic Monkeys
Chapter 17: You're My Only Refuge Now
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Tony collapsed roughly to the ground just outside the burning rubble of the warehouse, sending Natasha and Loki sprawling across the rough terrain. Loki felt a sharp pain in his left shoulder, which took the brunt of his fall, and his cheek felt rubbed raw, but he paid no mind to these injuries as he scrambled to his feet and ran for the Quinjet just behind Natasha. Stark was still pulling himself out of the crater his suit had created on impact.
He was practically humming with energy from the excitement of it all, eager to slaughter Rumlow for daring to attempt to assassinate him. That’s obviously what this was, after all. Why else would the man arrange for Loki and Natasha to enter a trap completely alone if it wasn’t intended precisely for them?
The only question that still nagged Loki was: Why?
Halfway up the Quinjet’s ramp, Loki froze. “Natasha,” the sudden gravity in Loki’s voice caused her to draw up short, turning to hear what he had to say. “This Agent Rumlow…you say he is the one who provided the information that led us into this ploy. Where is he now?”
Natasha’s eyes widened as she answered quietly, “The lab. He was assigned to watch over Dr. Foster’s research.”
Dread solidified in Loki’s stomach as his fear was confirmed. Darcy . Propelling himself into the cockpit, Loki scanned the pages of the Quinjet manual in his mind and frantically began to start up the aircraft. “We need to return to headquarters. Now .”
“Wait, who’s Rumlow? What’s he talking about, Red?” Stark questioned as he entered behind Natasha, yanking off pieces of his seemingly malfunctioning armor as he went.
“Loki, calm down. We don’t even know what the situation is over there yet. Let me contact Fury—”
Natasha cut off abruptly as the windshield blackened and Agent Hill’s face appeared in place of the desert horizon. “Agents, return to headquarters immediately. We’ve been compromised.”
Before Natasha could respond, Loki shouted, “Where is Agent Rumlow? Where are Darcy and Dr. Foster?”
Hill’s composure didn’t break, but Loki could hear the concern in her voice as she answered, “Darcy is fine. Rumlow took Dr. Foster hostage…along with her research. They’re gone.”
At the mention of Jane’s research, Hill gave Natasha a pointed look that further confirmed Loki’s suspicions regarding the secrets housed within SHIELD’s laboratory that morning.
“Copy that, Agent Hill. We’re on our way, and we’re bringing Tony Stark with us.”
Hill visibly resisted the urge to groan, instead nodding in confirmation before ending the call.
“Wait, wait, who says I’m coming?” Tony interjected halfheartedly, “Maybe I don’t wanna get roped into a mission that nearly got us all killed after all.”
“You’re sitting in a jet with the God of Mischief, Mr. Stark, who you just rescued from a rather untimely death,” Loki grumbled, “Don’t bother pretending this isn’t the most exciting thing to happen to you in months.”
Stark settled into the seat behind Natasha and exhaled in mock surrender, “Fine, fine. I’m practically wetting myself with excitement back here. Hey Jarvis, let’s start up that hyper-drive and get us on over to New York, stat.”
“Right away, Sir,” came a polite voice from the Quinjet itself, which shot into the sky and took off at much greater speed than when Natasha flew it earlier, leaving Loki staring dumbfounded at the controls.
“Next time, I’d prefer it if you asked permission before modding my ship with your AI, Tony,” Natasha said dryly, “Hey there, Jarvis.”
“Good evening, Miss Romanoff. Mr. Cooper.”
“I’m sorry, who is Jarvis, and why is he flying this craft right now?” Loki asked.
“Oh, he’s my butler. Sort of. Hey, anyone up for a game of poker?”
Darcy awoke on a cot in SHIELD’s medical center. Reaching a hand to feel at the tender spot on the back of her head, she found a sizable bump, but other than a headache that rivaled any hangover she’d ever experienced, everything else seemed to be intact.
A pair of hands pressed her shoulders back down when she tried to sit up.
“Jane?”
“Sorry, hun, it’s Dr. Myers. Dr. Foster is…well, don’t worry about that right now. You took a pretty hard hit to the head and need to rest.”
Darcy furrowed her brow, desperately trying to push past the throbbing pain in her head and remember what had happened. “How long have I been out?”
“A few hours, but like I said, you still need to rest, Darcy.”
As her memories came flooding back, Darcy pushed Dr. Myers aside and shot out of bed, ignoring the nausea that swirled in her stomach at the abrupt motion, “Where is Jane? Where’s Brock? We can’t trust him, I have to tell Fury—”
“He already knows, Darcy. As for Dr. Foster…Agent Rumlow took her. I don’t know anything more than that, but there’s nothing you can do right now other than focus on your own health.”
“Screw that, I’m her intern! It’s my job to do…something!”
Dr. Myers was clearly preparing to argue further when their attention was drawn to the sound of raised voices in the hallway outside.
“Agent Hill said she was fine . Lying unconscious in the medical facilities is not fine!”
Loki .
Relieved at the knowledge that one of her friends was safe, Darcy stumbled over to the door and jerked it open, nearly slamming it into Loki in her haste. He was covered in dust from head to toe and had dried blood all down one side of his face, hair in uncharacteristic disarray, eyes alight with fury. But he was alive. He was here .
Darcy crashed into him, squeezing her arms around his midsection and burying her face in his chest to hide the tears that flowed unbidden down her cheeks. He didn’t even hesitate to return the gesture, wrapping her in his arms and resting his cheek on top of her head. “Thank the Norns, Minn Ijós ,” he whispered with relief before drawing back and running his fingers lightly over the back of her head.
“Where is he?” Loki growled, rage rumbling in his chest, “Where is the foul creature who did this to you?”
“He took Jane,” Darcy replied roughly, “They don’t know where, but he took her. Why would he take her?”
“The Tesseract,” Natasha answered, coming up beside the pair as they reluctantly pulled apart, “That’s what he was after. You and Jane were necessary collateral damage, but he must have decided to take her when he realized how useful she could be for harnessing its power.”
The fire that had softened at the sight of Darcy reignited in Loki’s eyes as he glared accusingly at Fury and Hill, who stood just a few feet away, “How in all the nine realms did you lot end up in possession of the Tesseract ?”
“Follow-up question,” a strikingly familiar—and also totally filthy—man interjected, coming up alongside Loki, “ What is a Tesseract? Hey there,” he greeted, stretching out a hand of greeting to Darcy, “Tony Stark: Billionaire Playboy Genius Philanthropist…oh, and Iron Man. You must be the girlfriend!”
Darcy shook Tony Stark's hand awkwardly without releasing her hold on Loki, who had tucked her close under his arm and seemed similarly unwilling to let go.
“The Tesseract,” Loki explained, effortlessly assuming the role of an esteemed scholar among the ignorant throng while glancing sardonically down at the CEO of Stark Industries, “Is one of the most powerful artifacts in the universe. It was long the great jewel of Odin’s treasure vault until he determined it would be better hidden and therefore protected here on your planet. Apparently, he was sorely mistaken.” This last was said with a pointed look at Director Fury that made it perfectly clear to everyone present who Loki thought was to blame for this turn of events.
“It fell into our hands through a simple stroke of luck, and we have done our best to guard it ever since,” Fury defended, “It would seem I put my trust in the wrong person this time, and for that, I apologize, Agent Cooper. But seeing as you’re such an expert on the Tesseract, perhaps you can advise on how we might retrieve it, as well as Dr. Foster?”
Loki laughed cruelly, “My dear Director, I am but a mortal man, like you. Any ability I may have had to track the Tesseract is assuredly beyond my reach now. If the Tesseract does not wish to be found, it would be easier to find a single twig amongst all the branches of Yggdrasil.”
Darcy’s eyes widened, and she placed a hand on Loki’s forearm to draw his attention, “But what if it did wish to be found? What if I can track it?”
Loki’s brows shot up in surprise, “And just how do you propose to do that, Minn Ijós ?”
“Jane and I did get a chance to take some readings on the Tesseract before…well, anyway, it gives off gamma radiation, but not like anything here on earth. It’s basically a totally unique signature, and if we can scan for that signature—”
“—then you can find the big bad wolf! You’ve got a smart little lady there, Lokes. And lucky for all of you, I’m pretty smart myself. Did I mention I’m a genius?” Tony turned to Darcy, eyes wide with excitement, “If you can give me that signature, I can get you coordinates within a few hours.”
Darcy grinned back enthusiastically, “Sounds like a plan, Mr. Billionaire Playboy Genius Philanthropist. I guess you’re more than just a figurehead for Daddy’s company after all.”
Tony looked taken aback at this unexpectedly snarky response, but Loki cut in before he had a chance to formulate a reply. “It would appear the two of you have some work to do. Will it give me a chance to shower and change? It’s so important to look your best when seeking vengeance.”
“I don’t believe I’ve assigned agents to this mission yet, Mr. Cooper,” Fury stepped in, seeking to regain control of the situation that was quickly unfolding without his oversight.
“I don’t believe I should have to ask, Director,” Loki countered threateningly, “After all, if you had simply trusted me in the first place instead of barring me from the laboratory, this may have all been prevented. None of you have the slightest inkling of what you are dealing with, and as the only one who may actually survive a direct encounter with the Tesseract, it would be wise to allow me to be the one to retrieve it.”
Darcy tried to hide the worried look from her expression at Loki’s claim. From what he’d told her, he was just as mortal as the rest of them. She seriously doubted the human Loki could go toe-to-toe with something as powerful as the Tesseract and walk away unscathed.
Fury, though evidently disgruntled by this display of insubordination, decided not to argue the point. “Stark, how long will you need to get us a lock on the Tesseract?”
Stark shrugged, “If I were back in my Malibu lab with all my equipment? An hour, tops. With SHIELD’s limited resources? Better make it three.” Tony bowed dramatically to Darcy, “Lead the way, madam.”
Loki was nearly back to the laboratory, desert grime thoroughly washed away and wearing a fresh set of clothes under his leather jacket, when Dr. Myers intercepted his route.
“Agent Cooper, I’d like to take a look at that shoulder before you head out in the field again.”
Loki straightened to his full height and looked down his nose at the older woman. “I assure you, Doctor, I am quite well. Now if you’ll excuse me—”
“No, you’re not. Any physician worth their salt can tell your shoulder is dislocated at best. Now if you don’t want me to tell Fury you’re not physically well enough for this mission, you’ll step into my office and let me examine you.”
Bristling at Dr. Myers’ authoritative tone, Loki forced himself to relent after pausing long enough to acknowledge the pain shooting down his arm and across his back. He hadn’t been able to move his arm much since the injury occurred and probably would not be much use in combat if he didn’t accept the doctor’s help.
Loki followed Dr. Myers to the medical facility across from the lab. As he passed by, he could see the windows were not shaded as before. Darcy was seated at one of the computer monitors, Tony leaning in over the back of her chair and chatting eagerly while gesturing at the screen. Darcy managed a laugh at whatever comment the man made, but Loki could see the tension in her eyes. She would not be at ease until Jane was retrieved. Of course, seeing Dr. Foster safe again was Loki’s top priority, but this mission presented another opportunity that Loki found impossible to resist: the Tesseract.
The last 24 hours had been a lesson in mortal Loki’s powerlessness, and he was finished with feeling so helpless. His mortal form was incapable of protecting those he cared about, and if he could not have power of his own…well, he would just have to find it elsewhere.
He only hoped his mortality didn’t extend so far as to weaken him against the might of such a formidable artifact. Even contained within its cubic vessel, the Space Stone’s might could obliterate the minds of lesser beings.
Loki was no lesser being, and he did not need immortality or seidr to be strong.
You’re the strongest person I know .
He would be strong. For Darcy, he must be.
The process of setting his shoulder was excruciatingly painful, but it did feel markedly better after the fact. Dr. Myers warned Loki to be careful and tried getting him to use a sling. When he refused on the principle that Fury would surely try to stop him from rescuing Jane if he knew Loki was injured, Myers conceded the point on the condition that he promised to ice and rest his shoulder until it was time to leave.
So it was that Loki finally entered the lab while holding a cold packet against his collarbone.
Tony was now the one seated at the computer, typing away furiously while Darcy watched in fascination from her perch on the table behind him. “Hey, Rock of Ages,” Tony greeted, hardly looking up from his work, “You mind convincing your girlfriend to go get some rest now? I can take it from here, and I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to work on a science project right after being knocked unconscious.”
Darcy rolled her eyes as she hopped off the table. “He doesn’t like hovering,” she said to Loki by way of explanation. “Though in my defense, he did it first. It’s only fair I get to watch him work now too.”
Loki sauntered slowly over to Darcy, absentmindedly dropping the ice pack on the table to free his hand to run through her unruly hair. “Stark is right, Minn Ijós . You have been through much. Allow me to escort you to your chambers?”
“And let you take off while I’m sleeping? No way!”
This time Tony was the one who rolled his eyes. “Yeesh, you two are all about the separation anxiety, aren’t you? Velma, if you’re not going to bed, you should at least go crash over on the sofa. I should have a location in about an hour, and I promise not to let Rock of Ages leave without a goodbye kiss.”
Before Darcy could protest, Loki scooped her up into his arms—only wincing slightly at the strain on his tender shoulder—and deposited her on the threadbare red couch she had lugged in from some flea market a week earlier. Settling himself next to her, he gently drew her head down into his lap. “Rest, Minn Ijós . I am not going anywhere yet.”
Within minutes, the young woman was snoring softly in his arms.
True to his word, Tony had a clear lock on the Tesseract an hour later, and within minutes the three of them had joined Fury, Natasha, Hill, and a small team of agents selected for the mission in what Loki assumed was SHIELD’s version of a war room. The space was large enough to hold all of them comfortably, a long table with a control panel at one end the only furnishing in the room. Tony made his way over to the controls and brought up a three-dimensional rendering of the Tesseract’s location on the table’s surface.
“So it looks like your glowing box of doom is at this abandoned Army base, Camp Lehigh—”
“Are you certain of that location, Stark?” Fury asked, failing to hide the surprise and concern in his voice.
“I’d bet my Malibu mansion on it, yeah. Something wrong?”
The director furrowed his brow, “Camp Lehigh was the first location of SHIELD’s base of operations before we moved here. It’s been deserted for years.”
“It would appear there is more going on in your organization than you realize, Director,” Loki commented dryly.
“Do you have a problem with me, Agent?” Fury replied coldly.
“Why yes, I believe I do. I have a problem when the incompetence of others puts lives in danger and places deadly weapons in the hands of the ignorant. I have a problem with being kept in the dark when I so obviously could have been an asset in this situation. I have a problem —”
“Ladies, please,” Stark interrupted, stepping between the increasingly hostile pair, “You’re both pretty.”
“Hey, that’s my line,” Darcy pouted, “But he’s right. We have more important things to worry about than pointing fingers right now. We need to find Jane before…” The stress and fear in Darcy’s eyes fizzled out the remains of Loki’s bitterness, which he decided to set aside in favor of focusing on the task at hand (for the time being, at least).
Tony cleared his throat and returned his attention to the virtual map of Camp Lehigh, “So I can narrow it down to this old base, but I can’t get more exact than that. It’s definitely underground, but how deep is anyone’s guess. You’ll need to track it more precisely once you’re inside.”
“You’re not coming?” Natasha inquired, clearly expecting Stark to self-insert in this mission as he had the first.
Tony had the decency to look abashed at this before responding, “Um…no, I think I’ll sit this one out. Not that I don’t wanna help, but my armor is kind of a wreck at the moment. Without it, I’m really not much use to anyone out in the field. It’s probably best if I hang back here.”
Natasha’s nod of acknowledgment held a clear note of irritation as if this wasn’t the first time Tony flaked mid-mission. Given his impression of the man over the last several hours together, Loki was similarly unimpressed with the man’s cowardice.
Fury stepped in, once again claiming authority over the situation. “Agents Cooper and Romanoff, I’m sending you in with this team of field agents. Your job is to get in, reclaim the Tesseract and Dr. Foster, and get out. If you have an opportunity to capture the traitor, take it. If you deem it necessary to eliminate the traitor…do what you have to do to bring our assets back safely. Stark, can you give my agents a brief on how to track the Tesseract once inside the facility?”
“I mean, yeah, but it might take a hot minute. But why do that when you’ve got an agent right here who can do it almost as well as I could? Just take Velma with you.”
“You cannot possibly mean Darcy,” Loki wrinkled his nose in distaste, “She is a scholar , not a warrior. Bringing her on such a dangerous mission is out of the question!”
“Agent Cooper, I believe I’ve made myself clear on more than one occasion that you don’t call the shots,” Fury snapped impatiently, “Stark has an excellent point. If Miss Lewis can provide guidance to the team, that would be much more reliable than attempting to brief an agent who has not used the technology or spent any time researching gamma radiation—”
“You must be joking, Director,” Loki sputtered in bafflement, “She is not an asset on the field, she is a liability . I cannot be expected to perform my duties when I must also babysit—”
“Hey, excuse me, Mister I-Speak-for-Darcy now. Did I ask for your opinion?” Darcy snapped, “I can decide for myself, and if coming along means helping Jane then I’m in. You don’t get to make that call, Loki.”
“Darcy, I cannot allow you to—”
“Will you just shut up for once? Please? Tony thinks it’s a good idea. Fury thinks it’s a good idea. I’ve dabbled in martial arts and know my way around a gun, so I’m not completely useless and can look after myself. Cool?”
Loki looked down at his dearest friend, his expression blank but his eyes pleading with her not to do this. He knew it was a lost cause, though. She could be as bullheaded as Thor himself at times, and there was naught he could do but ensure she never left his side as they dove headfirst into danger together.
Notes:
I stayed up way too late editing this, leaving me with nothing clever to say in the end note. Hopefully you all have more wit to offer in your comments!
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Song: "Crossfire" by Stephen
Chapter 18: Write in Every Empty Space
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loki hadn’t said a word the entire flight to Camp Lehigh, still fuming at Darcy’s presence on the mission. Granted, the flight only lasted maybe thirty minutes, but still. His tantrum was already getting old. As they descended the Quinjet’s ramp just outside the seemingly-deserted military base, Darcy grabbed Loki’s sleeve, forcing him to stop and acknowledge her.
“Look, I get it. You’re pissed. But I’m already here and I want to help, so can you just let it go so we can focus on the mission? If I die in there, I’d like us to end things on good terms,” that last part was said in jest, but given how Loki’s expression managed to darken even further, he didn’t find it particularly amusing. The other four agents assigned to the mission descended with hardly a glance at the pair, but Natasha slowed enough to catch Loki’s eye, only continuing when he gave her a slight nod.
Once the rest of the team was well out of earshot and busily studying the security gate, Loki turned bodily toward Darcy, gripping her shoulders a little too tightly. “Your presence here is reckless and dangerous, and not just for your own sake. Understand this, Minn Ijós . If I must choose between you and Jane, I will choose you.”
Darcy’s stomach lurched. She understood she was his closest friend, but she hadn’t considered how that fact might actually endanger Jane just by her being there. If Loki was forced to choose…it could compromise the entire mission.
Then another thought occurred to her. “And the Tesseract?” she whispered, unable to keep a tremble from her voice.
Loki stared at her unmovingly for several agonizing seconds before silently turning and walking away to rejoin the rest of the team.
“Loki!” Darcy shouted, forcing him to stop and listen or risk their conversation being overheard, “What about the Tesseract? Where does that fall in your priorities?”
Loki did not turn to face her but angled his head to reply, “I cannot allow it to remain in HYDRA’s grasp. I will do everything in my power to rescue Jane, but I cannot choose her over the Tesseract.”
Loki paused once more, then turned to face her with a look as cold as ice before finishing, “Nor you, for that matter. The Tesseract must be my only true priority.”
Darcy’s heart dropped at his answer, even though it was pretty much exactly what she expected him to say. Before she could think how to respond, he turned and walked away briskly. She had no choice but to follow and pray that Loki wouldn’t have to choose…between any of them.
By the time they approached the gate, Natasha had successfully pried it open enough for them all to slip through. It looked like HYDRA cared more about the appearance of desertion than security. Either that or Stark was way off with his calculations—but no, Darcy had the proof right in her hands. The portable GRS she and Tony had jury-rigged from Jane’s equipment showed strong readings right in this area. Regardless of whether Jane and Rumlow were here, the Tesseract definitely was.
“Got a direction for us, Darcy?” Natasha asked, gesturing for their guide to lead the way.
Suddenly Darcy felt the full weight of what she was walking into. The fact that Rumlow left her alive meant he definitely didn’t see her as a threat. Would she prove him wrong? Or was she the liability Loki insisted she had become?
Determined to not let Loki be right for once in his life, Darcy stepped brazenly into the quiet, dusty collection of buildings, using the gamma readings as her guide. Relying on faint pulses of gamma rays as a GPS was definitely not easy, and Darcy found herself wishing Tony had stuck around, or that she had been kidnapped instead of Jane. She tried to look confident, but it was hard to keep up appearances when she walked into a building only to turn around and come back out, or rounded a corner to find nothing but a dead end and have to backtrack.
“Excellent,” Loki scorned as they entered the wrong building for the third time, “Not only did we bring dead weight, but it’s not even useful dead weight.”
Loki was standing just behind Darcy, saying this blatantly and directly in her ear. Her patience wearing thin, Darcy turned around and slapped him— hard— across the face.
The rest of the squadron suddenly found themselves very busy studying the walls of the empty Army barracks as Natasha not-so-subtly hid a smile and Loki stared down at Darcy in disbelief.
“Enough, Loki! I’m here, it’s too late to change that. You can hate me after we’re done, but for now, I would appreciate it if you shut up and let me do my job!”
Loki stiffened, but stepped out of her way in deference, “My apologies, Miss Lewis. I will strive to keep my thoughts to myself.”
Darcy wasn’t stupid. She knew everything Loki was saying was done with the strategic purpose of pushing her away in case he had to make a tough call. She knew he truly meant none of it—it was a charade; a deception. That didn’t make it hurt any less.
Miss Lewis .
Somehow, that hurt more than anything else he had said or done in the last hour. For all she knew, Minn Ijós was an insult or some cruel joke, but she doubted it from the gentle way he said it. Calling her “Miss Lewis” instead was the clearest sign of Loki putting his walls up. She only hoped it wouldn’t be too difficult to pull them down again once they were all safely out of here.
Darcy steeled herself and brushed past Loki back out into the gloomy twilight hour, scanning the facilities for something she missed. Stark had said the Tesseract was buried deep underground, which meant that even if they were standing right on top of it, they wouldn’t be able to get to it without first finding the entrance above ground. So where would a military base have an entrance to a super-secret underground area?
The Tesseract’s signal was strongest where it currently was, of course, but in theory, it should also leave a trail in its wake. If she could just find the head of the trail, they could follow the exact path the Tesseract’s bearer had taken until they reached it.
That was scientifically accurate, right?
It was the best Darcy had to go on, so she backtracked to the entry gate, the other agents following silently at her heels. Once she had a lock on the radiation where she stood—a concept that still made her feel like she was going to spawn superpowers, or maybe an extra limb—she slowly moved the GRS in a half-circle in front of her, watching for the levels to spike. When she hit the point where it spiked the strongest, she ignored it. That was what she followed the first time, but it only led her to the nearest above-ground point to the Tesseract. This time, she kept scanning until the radiation levels only increased ever so slightly.
Bingo .
“It’s this way,” Darcy declared, finally confident in her direction. She walked briskly, weaving her path in the exact route the Tesseract’s radiation trail left behind without looking up from her tracker. She would have crashed right into it if Loki hadn’t stopped her with a hand at her elbow.
It was nothing more than a concrete wall.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me!” Darcy shouted, throwing her arms up in frustration, “I know I had it that time! There’s literally nowhere else it could be!”
Natasha knelt down to observe the base of the wall, “You’re not wrong again, Darcy. I think this is the entrance—look here,” Natasha gestured at the ground, where faint grooves were visible, “It’s a fake wall. And it was opened recently.”
Loki didn’t enjoy hurting Darcy. Yet his cruelty wasn’t for her benefit either—it was completely selfish. Perhaps if he lied to himself about how important she had become, it would be easier to let her go if the mission called for it.
He hoped it would work. And hoped it wouldn’t.
Seeing how hurt Darcy was by his latest cruel remark almost crumbled his resolve entirely. You can hate me after we’re done. If she only knew. If she only knew the very thing that had Loki so terrified by her presence here…he could never hate her.
After Natasha found a hidden keypad near the false wall and connected a device to override it, the entrance opened to reveal a singular ladder dipping deep into darkness. Natasha went down first, followed by Darcy and the rest of the team before Loki hesitantly brought up the rear, wishing for the millionth time (that day) that he had his seidr.
Loki hated the dark and had since he was small. It was why his magic glowed so brightly in that comforting green hue, reminding him of bright spring days in the gardens of Asgard, practicing sorcery with his mother. One of the first spells Frigga taught him was how to create his own personal nightlight after he and Thor were moved to separate quarters as children. Loki had been frightened by the pitch black of his new room, causing him to venture out and create mischief (usually to Thor’s detriment) so he wouldn’t feel quite so alone. Once he learned how to illuminate his room in a soft green glow when he felt afraid, he wasn’t quite so compelled to wreak havoc on his unsuspecting older brother. At least, not in the middle of the night. Usually.
Being without his seidr nightlight now left Loki tense and uneasy as he descended, but eventually, his eyes adjusted and he could make out the artificial glow of electricity at the base of the ladder. By the time he reached the bottom, Darcy was already several paces ahead, studying her device intently as she searched for the right direction.
They were in a wide, low-ceilinged room full of empty shelves. A thick layer of dust coated everything, giving the impression that no one had been down here in decades. And yet, the Tesseract was here somewhere.
Darcy walked straight through the rows of bookshelves until she came face to face with a wall. Again.
“Another hidden door?” Loki queried, only sarcastic in part.
“I don’t think so this time…” Darcy muttered, evidently deciding to ignore his tone, “Look, the hall forks in two directions from this point. The Tesseract is a straight shot through this wall, though, so one of them has to loop around to wherever it is.”
“Can’t you trace the path like before?” Natasha asked.
Darcy shook her head, “Nah, it’s been all over the place down here. They didn’t take a clear shot, so I can only tell you where it is now, not precisely how to get there.”
“Alright, so we split up,” Natasha ordered, “Agents Renner, Pratt, and Lewis with me. Agents Evans and Olsen, head in the other direction with Loki. If you hit a dead end, backtrack to rendezvous with the other team. Keep your comms up.”
Loki warred with himself over whether or not to demand Darcy follow his team. Separating from her was a convenient way to avoid his own personal trolley problem, but it also removed from him the option of protecting her.
Darcy made the decision herself before he could weigh in, nodding curtly in his direction before heading down the hallway Natasha had indicated for her team.
“Right,” Loki bit out, brushing past the pair of agents assigned to him and drawing his daggers, “Let us see what fate has in store for us.”
Darcy’s pace was probably dangerously quick, but her anger at Loki was fueling her at this point. He had been so obviously on the edge of demanding she go with him, even though he clearly didn’t want her there and didn’t want to have to protect her. Frankly, it was getting old and she was enjoying having a little space from him at the moment.
It would be even better if the space wasn’t happening in a dank underground hideout. But beggars can’t be choosers.
After a few minutes of rage-walking, Darcy remembered her handy-dandy gamma-ray tracker and slowed enough to check the readings. For a while, they were just walking further and further away from the Tesseract’s pulse, but eventually, they rounded a corner and the signal began to grow stronger.
“I think we got the winning ticket after all,” Darcy joked, “Or drew the short straw…depending on how you look at it.”
Natasha nodded and took the lead, slowly working her way down the hall with her gun drawn. This hallway was eerily empty of doors and passages, narrowly guiding them to a singular metal door at the very end. Natasha turned to Darcy for confirmation when they reached the door, who nodded silently, gesturing at the GRS as an indication that they had the right spot.
Romanoff briefly touched a hand to her ear and whispered through the comms, “We found it. Work your way over to us—we’re going in.”
Loki knew they had the wrong path after searching every room and coming up empty—a feeling that was confirmed by Natasha’s voice buzzing in his ear.
“ Don’t be foolish ,” Loki bit back through the comms, “Wait until I get there. You have no idea what you’re dealing with.”
Natasha didn’t respond. Instead, the grating sound of static blasted in Loki’s eardrum, forcing him to rip the communicator out of his ear. The Tesseract . Per its nature, it was influencing the technology nearby. They were too close, and the Tesseract did not appear interested in aiding their recovery efforts. Playing hard to get, the cheeky thing.
Loki took off back the way they had come at a dead sprint, the other two agents scrambling to keep up while hoisting their rather bulky firearms. His daggers much lighter and better designed for speed, Loki shot ahead of the pair, retracing his steps within minutes. The path Natasha and Darcy’s squadron had taken was much longer, but had the added benefit of being only a singular curving hallway. Loki only stopped at each closed door long enough to listen before continuing on, eventually coming to a long, straight hall with no doors save for one cracked open at the very end.
“ Let her go, Brock! ” Darcy’s voice echoed from the room.
Loki crept up to the door and peered cautiously through the crack. He couldn’t see Darcy or Natasha, but he recognized the other two SHIELD agents lying prone on the ground, either dead or unconscious. Honestly, was Natasha the only competent person at SHIELD? Four men in black and red garb stood over the incapacitated agents, each toting heavy weaponry that was pointed out of Loki’s line of sight.
A male baritone calmly replied, “Sorry, Miss Lewis, but I’m not giving up my only ticket out of here. Here’s how it’s going to go down. You are going to drop your weapon. Jane and I are going to take the Tesseract and walk right through that door. If you try to stop me, she dies. If you call for backup, she dies. Any questions?”
It was then that Loki’s remaining team members decided to show up, noisily stomping around the corner and effectively ruining the element of surprise. The time for stealth was over.
Loki leaped through the doorway and slit the throat of the nearest guard before anyone had time to react. The second was slightly more prepared and managed to point his gun at Loki, who easily swept around him and sent the man sprawling with a firm kick in the back.
Trying a different tactic, the remaining two HYDRA agents flanked Loki and attempted to subdue him physically, but he dropped low and sliced at their ankles, barely nicking one but carving into the other enough for him to cry out. Bullets flew at Loki from across the room, but he stayed low—using the enemies near him as a shield—and stayed out of harm’s way.
Agent Olsen dove through the rain of bullets and managed to subdue the still-standing HYDRA operative, while Agent Evans had her gun trained on the man Loki had kicked to the ground before. Loki turned to face the enemies who were still actively shooting from across the room when he heard Darcy cry out in pain.
Everything stopped all at once as Rumlow called for his team to cease firing, giving Loki the chance to finally take in the state of affairs. Loki and his team stood to the far left of the large, rectangular room, which housed little more than empty desks and chairs stacked against the walls and boxes of old, broken computers. Across the room to Loki’s right, Natasha was being held at gunpoint by a HYDRA agent while two more flanked her, guns pointed at Loki.
In the center of the room stood Darcy, one hand clenched against a bleeding shoulder, her arm dangling uselessly with a handgun held loosely in her palm. She had been shot but was still standing and alert. Thank the Norns.
“I should’ve known the teacher’s pet would show up,” Rumlow taunted from across the room, “Tell me, does the blue monster come out when you’re angry, like with the Hulk? Or is it more of a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing?” Brock Rumlow had one arm firmly wrapped around a bound and gagged Jane Foster, a metal briefcase held in that same hand while the other pointed a small handgun at her temple.
“No one else has to get hurt, Rumlow,” Natasha gritted out, attempting to sound threatening despite being restrained and unarmed. “Just let Dr. Foster go and I’m sure we can come to some sort of arrangement.”
“You see, that’s your weakness right there, Agent Romanoff. You care too much about preserving life to do what needs to be done. If you were willing to just let Jane die, this could all be over so much quicker. Your new partner, on the other hand…” Rumlow gave Loki an approving glance before continuing, “Now there’s a man with conviction. He didn’t even hesitate to end the life of one of my operatives. Are you certain that’s the sort of agent Director Fury wants?”
“You’re right,” Loki responded darkly, “So why don’t you hand over the Tesseract and I might consider sparing your pathetic life.”
Rumlow smirked and replied, “Even you have your weaknesses,” before pointing his gun at Darcy and firing.
Rumlow was right. Loki didn’t hesitate. As soon as Rumlow’s gun so much as twitched away from Jane’s temple, Loki was running toward Darcy. He barely registered the sounds of two guns going off as he threw himself in front of the woman he could no longer deny he cared for more than the Tesseract. More than his own life. More than anything.
The bullet struck Loki square in the chest, and he collapsed to the ground in front of Darcy, surprisingly numb to the pain he knew he should be feeling. He could hear the other inhabitants of the room combatting with one another, but it sounded oddly distant.
Darcy shrieked his name and Loki could faintly make out her silhouette bent over him as his vision blurred around the edges. Reaching up a hand to her damp cheek, he fought to stay conscious and choked, Ek munu æ ást , Minn Ijós. My Light.” Then the God of Mischief and Lies opened himself to the darkness. And he was not afraid.
Notes:
Happy Thanksgiving! *hides behind turkey*
(If it's any consolation, I cried writing this. And I cried again editing this.)
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Song: "Unsaid Emily" from Julie and the Phantoms
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TRANSLATIONS:
"Ek munu æ ást ér, Minn Ijós" - "I will always love you, My Light"
Chapter 19: Lay Me Gently in the Cold Dark Earth
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
It had been nearly a month since the king succumbed to the Odinsleep, and Frigga was growing increasingly worried. The longest it had ever lasted was a fortnight, and only then after the long, drawn-out war with Jotunheim.
Those days had been spent in peace and stability, Odin seeking much-needed restoration as Frigga tended to their sons. Thor had been but an adolescent and Loki was only weeks old—a small, frail thing who clung to her as if she were all that mattered in his little world. The two kept her so busy in those days, the Odinsleep passed with hardly a moment for concern.
This time, the queen of Asgard had barely left her husband’s side since the brief war council with Thor. Even as she knew Thor was preparing Asgard’s armies to invade Jotunheim in Odin’s absence.
“My darling, how your sons need you now,” Frigga whispered, gently stroking the Allfather’s thinning white hair. “I know you would have me aid Thor in this time, but how to make him listen? He never heeds me as he does you. And then there’s Loki…how can I abandon all thoughts of our youngest son when only you and Heimdall can truly watch over him?”
At the sound of someone entering the chamber, Frigga straightened and composed her features, donning her regality like a second skin. She relaxed when she took in Thor’s tense figure approaching the other side of the bed where Odin rested.
“What news of your brother, Thor?” she whispered as if worried she might disturb Odin’s rest. The only thing Thor worried about more than the conflict with Jotunheim was his younger brother, leading the God of Thunder to seek Heimdall’s counsel often.
Thor sighed, collapsing into a chair near the foot of Odin’s bed. “Heimdall cannot see much. Loki may be mortal now, but what power lies dormant within must be masking him from the Gatekeeper’s sight. One moment Heimdall sees him clear as day, and in the next, he vanishes only to reappear in some new location. But he is well, I think. Heimdall saw him mere hours ago gallivanting across Midgard with another of those SHIELD agents and a man of metal before he disappeared again.”
Frigga nodded. “With such powerful allies, our Loki will do well on Midgard. Perhaps it won’t be long before he may return to us in earnest.”
“Perhaps…” Thor looked troubled, “But what if he has no desire to?”
The thought grieved Frigga greatly, but she kept her sorrow buried and replied softly, “Then we shall wish him well and remind him that he always has a home and a family who love him on Asgard.”
Thor exhaled heavily. “I supposed I knew you would say as much.”
The silence stretched on as Frigga pondered how best to voice her concerns over Thor’s current path. Though she did her best to raise Asgard’s heirs to be compassionate and mindful, her eldest had much of his father in him—and Odin had not always been so wise and peace-seeking.
Before Frigga became his bride, Odin was a mighty conqueror who was infamous for his prowess in battle, and many of his victories were not in the name of justice, but from a desire for glory—a glorious purpose to be king of all, not satisfied with simply ruling Asgard. It took a great deal of pain and tragedy to humble Odin into the man he was now, and even more love and support from his stolen bride to renew in him a hope that he could be better. Do better.
So how was Frigga to instill the same lesson in Thor and save him from the pain his father had to go through? Odin’s authority had not even been enough to stave Thor’s pugnacity this time, and Loki had ever been the only one to actually change his elder brother’s mind on anything.
Before Frigga could formulate an effective persuasion, Thor rose from his seat and rounded the bed to her side, extending a hand down to her. “Come, Mother. You know Father would not have you mourning him when he is yet living. Join me for a walk about the gardens?”
“Very well.” Frigga agreed, leaning forward to kiss her husband’s forehead before taking Thor’s hand and allowing him to escort her out of the room.
Neither of them saw the single tear Odin shed as he looked down upon the still form of his son.
“Loki! ”
Darcy didn’t know how long she had been shrieking his name, but her throat was raw from it. She knew it was childish—he was gone, and calling for him would do nothing to bring him back. Still, she wept and she screamed, hand pressed against his wound even as her own continued to bleed.
“It should have been me,” Darcy shouted, clinging to Loki desperately. “You knew that, Loki! You told me that I wasn’t as important as the mission, so why did you—why…” her words choked off into sobs as she pressed her forehead against his blood-soaked chest.
At some point, the chaos in the underground chamber had died down, with all the HYDRA agents either dead or captured. Rumlow still stood against the back wall, Jane held tightly in his grip, the gun back at her temple. Darcy felt helpless, torn between grieving for one friend and the need to somehow rescue another.
“Touching as this is,” Rumlow’s voice was sadistically calm as he inched slowly away from Natasha, pulling Jane with him, “I’m afraid the time for pleasantries is over.”
“This is your last chance, Rumlow,” Natasha warned, “Let Dr. Foster go and surrender the Tesseract.”
Rumlow stared at her consideringly, leaning casually against a large, dusty object covered in a thick tarp as Jane wrestled in his grasp, struggling to shout through her gag. “I’ll make you a deal, Agent Romanoff. You let me walk out those doors, and I’ll return Dr. Foster and the Tesseract to you.”
Natasha studied Rumlow consideringly, then nodded slowly. “Put the briefcase down and slide it across the floor to Agent Lewis. I’ll holster my weapon, you’ll leave Jane right there, and we all walk away from this.”
Rumlow’s smile was not one of the defeated. “You drive a hard bargain, Romanoff.” Jane was frantic at this point, kicking and flailing in Rumlow’s arms as he dropped the briefcase, kicking it so it slid noisily over the dirty concrete floor and landed just two feet away from Darcy. Natasha and Brock slowly holstered their weapons before the latter roughly shoved Jane to the ground and backed behind the large, tarp-covered object at his side.
Jane roughly ripped the gag from her mouth and shouted, “He’s tricking you!”
It was too late. Brock tore the tarp off of the mysterious object just as Darcy flung open the briefcase. The room was flooded with blue light, but it didn’t come from the case.
It came from the massive machine Agent Rumlow had unveiled—a machine that now held the Tesseract.
“Although Red Skull’s work was largely lost thanks to Steve Rogers, the mind behind his weapons lived on. Thanks to SHIELD conscripting Armin Zola, all we needed was the Tesseract to continue the work our leader started.”
Flipping a switch, the machine hummed with power as waves of blue rolled off of the Tesseract. Rumlow shifted the large cannon-like weapon until the barrel pointed out at the rest of the room, both SHIELD and HYDRA agents caught in its broad scope. Several new HYDRA operatives flooded into the chamber—insects crawling out of the woodwork and overtaking Darcy and her allies. Two came forward and roughly hauled Darcy off of the floor, kicking and screaming as she fought to return to Loki’s side.
“Rumlow, enough!” Natasha warned, bordering on pleading at the sight of the weapon their adversary now held, “If you fire that thing, your whole team goes up in smoke along with us. This is insane.”
“On the contrary, Agent Romanoff. This is the mission. Cut off one head, two more shall take its place.” The room was filled with monotone echoes of Rumlow’s words as the rest of HYDRA affirmed their faith in the organization’s mantra. “Farewell, SHIELD agents. It was an honor serving alongside you, even if it was all just a means to an end.
The hum of the Tesseract’s conduit increased in volume and pitch, but while most of the room had their sight trained on the weapon, Darcy was watching Loki.
Largely hidden by the Tesseract’s blue light, strands of gold energy pulsed and swirled around Loki’s body. Darcy watched in disbelief as one strand withdrew the bullet shards from his chest while the others began to stitch his wound together. The golden light dimmed faintly before shifting to a familiar green and vanishing altogether.
Then Loki opened his eyes.
He was alive . Not just breathing, but complete. Whole. Immortal . Loki felt his seidr flood every inch of his body like cool water on a sweltering summer day. Like the brightest of light filling the darkest of caverns. Like home .
The situation he awoke into was dire, but of course, he expected nothing less from a mission involving a naive group of mortals and an infinity stone . Moments ago, it would have seemed an impossible battle to win.
Moments ago, he was not a god.
Before anyone had time to notice Loki’s unexpected resurrection, he cast a duplicate in his place and hid his own form from mortal eyes, stealthily moving behind Agent Rumlow and, conjuring one of his beloved daggers, deftly chopping off the man’s hand that had been reaching for the machine’s trigger. Rumlow shrieked in confusion and pain, collapsing to his knees as he clutched the bloody stub where his hand had been.
With Rumlow’s grasp removed from the controls, the Tesseract’s hum died down gradually as Loki calmly strolled forward and removed the cube from its man-made vessel. “Now then,” Loki said, casually twirling the Tesseract on his index finger, “I believe the time for mercy has run its course.”
Loki inhaled in sheer bliss as he spread his arms wide, the green light of his seidr swirling around him and dancing with the light emanating from the Tesseract. He felt the two powers caress one another as lovers, his seidr welcoming the infinity stone’s might to bed with it. Scanning the room, he found Darcy watching him with relief, awe, and confusion fighting for dominance over her features. With a flick of his wrist, Loki casually shot daggers of green energy into the hearts of her two captors. Their eyes lit with green flame as they cried out, then collapsed lifelessly to the floor.
As the remaining HYDRA operatives fled for the exit, Loki used the Tesseract to teleport in front of them, skipping and pirouetting around each one in turn as his dagger slid elegantly across their exposed necks. The bodies collapsed in heaps around him as he laughed maniacally, drunk with power and caring for nothing but the joy of vengeance.
Rumlow was still kneeling where Loki left him, looking close to passing out as he clung desperately to his dismembered arm. But Loki was not finished with his would-be killer yet.
Striding forward, Loki wrapped his hand tightly around the mortal’s throat, lifting him into the air. “You would dare to kill a god? You would dare to take Darcy’s life into your hands? She is mine , Agent Rumlow. If you’re going to gamble your life, make sure you check the sleeves of your opponents. You never know who may be hiding an ace.”
Rumlow’s face was turning purple as he clawed desperately at Loki’s arm with his remaining hand.
“Farewell, mortal. I would say it's been a pleasure, but I would be lying. And you’re just not worthy of one of my lies.” Loki brought his dagger up to Rumlow’s chest and prepared to plunge it deep into the evil man’s heart.
“Loki, stop! Please! ”
Darcy’s voice cut through his euphoria, and Loki froze for a moment before dropping Rumlow coughing and gasping to the floor and turning in frustration. Darcy clutched her wounded shoulder and walked slowly toward Loki, tears leaving tracks on her dirt-smudged cheeks.
“Darcy, he tried to kill you. He did kill me! You would deny me this vengeance?” Rage and confusion warred with each other as all the power within him hungered to attack. Destroy. Slaughter .
“Loki, I need you to stand down.” This lower female register came from Natasha Romanoff. Loki had honestly forgotten her altogether, unable to focus on anything but the unsated fury that pulsed in his veins. Now he took in his partner as she held her gun pointed at Rumlow—no, pointed at him .
“Well isn’t this an unexpected turn of events,” Loki bit out, “Now you would betray me, Miss Romanoff? Did the director put you up to this? How convenient it would be to kill two monsters at once, eliminating any potential threat to your precious SHIELD .”
“Loki, stop!” Darcy cried out, “She’s not betraying you, she’s trying to stop you from making a mistake!”
“A mistake? A mistake to slaughter one’s enemies? A mistake to eliminate a threat to Earth? That is the mission .”
“No, Loki,” Natasha warned, lowering her gun and raising a placating hand in its stead, “The mission is to stop HYDRA, which you have done. The mission is to retrieve the Tesseract, which you have done. You have completed your mission, Agent. Now stand down, and let me complete mine.”
Darcy now stood in front of Loki and pressed a quivering, blood-drenched hand to his chest. “Loki, you’ve done enough. I’m safe. SHIELD needs to take Brock into custody—he might be the only one who can tell us how deep HYDRA’s infiltration goes. You can trust Natasha. You can trust me .”
One look in the pale blue pools of Darcy’s eyes and all of the murderous rage reduced to a simmer. Loki felt like he was back to being the powerless mortal who first fell for her, and surprisingly, it did not feel like a weakness to him as it once did.
Loki stroked the back of his hand across Darcy’s cheek, extending his fingers to tangle in the hair at the base of her neck. Then he let the chaos, the bloodshed, and the filthy underground chamber fall away as he indulged himself in a moment of selfishness, leaned his mouth down to hers, and kissed her.
Darcy rose up onto her toes, deepening the kiss as she leaned against him. This feeling…it held a power unlike any Loki had yet wielded. Greater than his own seidr. Greater even than the Tesseract. This was the greatest power in the universe. Loki could have spent all of eternity in this singular moment had Darcy not been forced to draw back, hissing in pain and clutching her injured shoulder.
“All will be well, Minn Ijós ,” Loki whispered tenderly as he scooped Darcy into his arms, carefully cradling her injured arm. “Natasha—” Loki turned to his fellow agent, who had holstered her weapon and was staring at them with exasperation and begrudging amusement. Loki ignored her judgmental stare, never one to be bashful about his affections. “I believe Darcy and I will take our leave now. I trust you can handle…that?” Loki tipped his head in Rumlow’s direction.
Natasha sighed and signaled for the still-living SHIELD agents to secure the traitor. “Is this what partnering with you is gonna be like now that you’re all juiced up on god-power? Cleaning up your messes while you play the hero and save the damsel?”
Loki flashed his teeth at the agent in a devilish grin, “Why Agent Romanoff, have you not figured it out yet? I have no interest in being the hero.”
Before Natasha could respond, Loki disappeared, taking Darcy and the Tesseract with him.
Notes:
Leaving you all hanging after the last chapter hurt me as much as it hurt you. Fortunately, if you've seen "Thor" you probably knew where this was going ;)
Two more chapters to go, but don't worry! I'm hard at work on book two, which I will start posting after the holidays!
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Song Inspiration: "Work Song" by Hozier
Chapter 20: I Think I Was Blind Before I Met You
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Darcy stumbled to catch her footing as Loki released his hold on her and paced away, practically bouncing with energy as he tossed the Tesseract into the air and made it vanish before her eyes.
He was wired in a way she had never seen him before. It reminded her of the glint in his eye whenever he was up to some sort of amusing scheme, but on a much larger scale. He was still her Loki, but he was something else now too. This was the god of Norse mythology—the God of Mischief.
She watched in stunned amazement as he wove green patterns and shapes in the air around him, laughing and smiling maniacally all the while. Worried they might draw unwanted attention as a result of his sorcery, Darcy looked around. Surely people on a bustling New York street would notice—
“Um…Loki?”
Loki let his magic fizzle away as he turned to face her, still grinning from ear to ear. Suddenly he was standing right in front of her, stealing a quick kiss before resting his forehead gently against hers, “Something wrong, my dear?”
“Yeah—I mean, no. Maybe? It’s just…this isn’t New York. I thought you were taking us back to HQ?”
Loki looked up in surprise, scanning the area around them as if he just realized they even existed on a temporal plane. They were standing in the middle of a large field of tall grass—so large, in fact, that there was nothing else within Darcy’s line of sight.
“Ah, that,” he muttered, allowing a hint of guilt to play across his features. “Sort of an impulse decision on my part…I really don’t want to bother with the hassle of explaining myself to SHIELD just yet. They will surely want an extensive report, not to mention a whole new slew of tests given my returned seidr.” Loki locked eyes with Darcy again, cupping her face in his large hands. “I just got my life back, Minn Ijós. I’d like to enjoy it for a time. With you . Is that so wrong?”
“Not at all, I’m totally game to play hooky!” Darcy grinned broadly before wincing and grabbing her wounded arm again. “But maybe we can start our little runaway act after I get this bullet wound taken care of? Honestly not sure how I’m conscious right now…”
Loki grabbed Darcy to stop her from collapsing, easing her gently to the ground. “I’m sorry, Minn Ijós , I forgot your pain yet again. My mind is so scattered right now. Taking in all of my power and immortality at once, it’s…jarring.” As he spoke, Loki tore the fabric of Darcy’s shirt, exposing her wounded shoulder. Bringing his hand up to hover just a few inches above the wound, green light swirled in his palm before he hesitated. “I must apologize once more, Darcy…this is most certainly going to hurt. A lot.”
“What’s going to—” Darcy’s inquiry was cut off by a shriek she dimly recognized as her own. She could feel the bullet shards shifting beneath her skin, retracing their path back out of her shoulder. It was like getting shot all over again, but in excruciating slow-motion, as Loki’s magic dragged the shards back together and toward the surface.
“Almost finished, Minn —”
Darcy didn’t hear the rest as the pain became too much to bear and she blacked out.
After he finished sealing Darcy’s wound, Loki rested her unconscious form back on the soft grass and rose to his feet. Moving a safe distance from Darcy, he once again allowed his seidr to flow out and around him freely. It felt like sinking into freshly laundered silk sheets after months of sleeping on cold, hard ground. It felt like washing away the filth of battle in a luxuriously warm bath filled with salts, oils, and rose petals. It felt like regaining sight when he hadn’t even realized how blind he truly was.
Loki felt whole again. He had been living as half a man—mortal and powerless in every sense of the word. This was who he was meant to be. He no longer needed the aid of Midgardian allies. Free from the need for them, and free from Asgard’s chokehold, he would want for nothing. He could go anywhere, do anything, be anything. This was what was right .
And yet, a small part of him was afraid. Afraid of the darkness that still lurked beneath his power—darkness that had been largely caged along with his seidr. He was afraid not just of the Jotun beneath his skin resurfacing, but of the cold cruel rage he felt that day in the Bifrost Observatory.
More than that, he was afraid that Darcy would not care for him as he truly was. What she knew was a shell. Now she would be forced to see the beast within, and he worried she would not find it quite so charming.
Loki also had to accept that he was not the same person he had been before his banishment to Earth. He had learned to live without his power. He had begun to appreciate the fragility of mortal life. And he had discovered compassion, love, and meaning that he never could have imagined possible.
Yes, he was no longer the traumatized and newly minted mortal who first crashed down on this planet. But he was not just the jealous and cunning God of Mischief either.
Then, of course, there was the matter of the Tesseract. Even now, its power called to him from the deep recesses of his pocket dimension, begging to be wielded once more. Never had Loki felt anything quite so powerful, nor so alluring. Much as he truly took it in order to protect it from SHIELD—and give him and Darcy a means of reprieve from the situation—Loki couldn’t deny a craving within him to experience once more the feeling of using the Tesseract’s power and feeling it waltz with his own. The instant he touched the artifact, it felt like a part of him that had long been missing. At that moment, he could not imagine life without it. It was a terrifying feeling, made even more so by the fact that Loki didn’t hate it.
In all honesty, Loki didn’t know who he was now, nor what he wanted to be. And he needed time to figure it out. The moment his seidr returned to him, so did the seidr shield that hid him from Heimdall’s sight, so he need not fear Asgard’s intervention so long as he avoided making a spectacle of things and kept carefully to the shadows. All he had to do was leave behind his SHIELD equipment to eliminate the possibility of them tracing him.
Loki removed his SHIELD identification badge and earpiece and tucked them away in his pocket dimension where they would be rendered untraceable. He then reached into his pocket and withdrew the sleek black phone they had assigned him. He was about to send it away as well when it began to vibrate in his palm. Natasha . It appeared she had discovered his and Darcy’s absence from headquarters.
For a moment, he considered ignoring the call and simply vanishing. That was what Loki Odinson would have done. Perhaps Loki Laufeyson would have as well. Loki Cooper would answer, though. But was he still Loki Cooper? Was any part of him Odinson or Laufeyson? Or was he something Other now?
Loki answered the call. “Greetings, Agent Romanoff. I presume this means you have made it safely back to SHIELD headquarters?”
“We have,” Natasha confirmed levelly, “And I couldn’t help but notice you and Darcy did not. Wanna fill me in?”
“If you are concerned about Darcy, I assure you she is safe. With my power returned to me, I was more than capable of seeing to her medical needs.”
“That’s good to know, but I’m also worried about you. Loki, back at Camp Lehigh…you were dead . And then you got your god-powers back and went on a rampage against those HYDRA agents.”
Loki stiffened, “So you finally understand, then? That I am not the heroic figure Director Fury is looking for. I am the God of Mischief and Lies , Agent Romanoff—”
“Loki, I’m not passing judgment on you. I’ve got plenty of red in my ledger, so I have no room to criticize. But you’re not here, which I have to assume means you’re not okay. So should I be worried about you, partner?”
Softening at the empathy in Natasha’s voice—and the fact that, despite him taking off with the Tesseract in tow, she still called him “partner”—Loki sank to the ground beside Darcy, running his free hand absently through her hair as she began to stir. “I am…well. Or I will be. I just need some time to…I just need some time. If Darcy does not wish to stay with me, I will see her returned safely to you—”
He was interrupted by Darcy’s warm hand on his wrist and looked down to see her smiling weakly up at him and gesturing for him to hand her the phone. He acquiesced and watched in curiosity as she switched it to “speaker” and greeted Natasha. “Yeah, Nat, I’m fine. A little tired, but way more healed up than I should be for someone who just had shrapnel in her shoulder. Look, Loki and I need a break for a while, okay? He’s fine, I’m fine, but that was a lot we just went through back there. We’ll stay in touch, but we need you to keep SHIELD off our backs for a while. Can you do that?”
“I’ll do my best,” Natasha replied skeptically, “But if you really wanna shake SHIELD from your tail, you’ll need to get rid of basically anything they gave you. You also might want to return the Tesseract to SHIELD, if you mean to keep the pressure off.”
Loki rolled his eyes and replied, “I assure you, Natasha, the Tesseract is much safer with me than it ever was with SHIELD. It shall return to your possession if and when I deem it wise to do so.”
“Hey, don’t shoot the messenger. I’m just telling you Fury isn’t going to like losing his newest agent, analyst, and a powerful alien artifact all in one day.”
“Well then, perhaps it is time the Good Director learned that his word is not in fact law outside of SHIELD’s authority. I signed no contract and gave no vow, and I am not a citizen of this planet beyond SHIELD’s fabricated papers. I possess more power in a single finger than Fury could possibly begin to comprehend, and I have been alive for over a thousand years. If that is not enough for him to trust my discernment when it comes to ‘powerful alien artifacts,’ then I am afraid that is simply not my problem. I will contact you when I deem it is time to do so. Farewell, Natasha.”
Loki hung up the phone and vanished it into his pocket dimension, watching with a brow raised as Darcy rolled her eyes at him. “Dude, I haven’t seen you this pompous since I first met you. Wanna lay off the I’m-a-wise-and-powerful-god bit just a little?”
Loki couldn’t help but smile at her candid humor. “But I am a wise and powerful god, Minn Ijós. So how else am I to behave?”
“I know that, but you’re also Just Loki, remember? I know you’re all powerful and whole again, but that doesn’t mean the half of you that existed over the last few months just disappeared,” Loki couldn’t help but notice a slight pang of worry in Darcy’s eyes as she willed her words to be true, “I may not know every part of you, but I know that one. And I’m making it my job effective immediately to make sure you don’t forget about him.”
Darcy had just summed up everything Loki had spent the last hour contemplating as she slept, and somehow simultaneously reassured him of her affection and loyalty to him in the process. Loki swallowed a lump in his throat, blinking away tears and battling against the weak mortal that was still such an integral part of him after so short an amount of time. It was a battle he wouldn’t entirely mind losing.
“This is why I call you Minn Ijós , Darcy.” Loki pulled her to her feet and wrapped her tightly in his arms, pressing a kiss against her tangled mass of hair. “From the moment I met you, you have seen past my darkness. You understand it is part of me, but you help me to uncover the other parts that have long been dormant. Warmth and brightness radiate from you, Minn Ijós —My Light.”
Loki closed his eyes and allowed himself to soak in the vibrant energy that glowed from Darcy. He had felt it even before his seidr returned to him, but now it beamed from her with a power much like his own, but of the purest sky blue instead of his green. Part of it was indeed Darcy herself, of course, but now that he had the chance to truly study it…
Oh.
“Darcy…” Loki hesitated, reluctant to ruin such a treasured moment,” You said you are adopted?”
Darcy pulled back from their embrace and looked up at him in confusion, “Uh, yeah? But what does that have to do with anything right now?”
Loki closed his eyes and gently pressed his seidr into her center, studying the energy once more to confirm his suspicions before giving them voice. “I could not have sensed it before, with my own barred from me…but Darcy, there is seidr within you.”
Darcy laughed the way she did when uncomfortable, pushing out of his arms fully and taking a step backward. “What’s that supposed to mean? Is this one of those things where everyone has seidr but mine is mutated or something? Should we call Dr. X?”
“I’m not sure who this Dr. X is or how he can help, but no. Mortals do not have seidr at all, so I am certain you are not a genetic mutation. If you were, it would not be seidr, but something entirely different.”
Darcy stared at Loki in bewilderment. “Loki, just spit it out. What are you trying to say?”
“Darcy…are you absolutely certain that you are human?”
Notes:
Raise your hand if you saw that coming! (But really, I'm curious if any of you predicted that).
Only one more chapter to go, then we'll be heading into book two! I must say, the next chapter is a personal favorite of mine (part of why I decided to end the book there).
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Song Inspiration: "First Day of My Life" by Bright Eyes
Chapter 21: A Hole in You Remains
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Darcy didn’t look not Jewish…except for her eerily ice-blue eyes. As a young child, she loved them. She thought they made her unique. Interesting. Her parents always complimented her eyes and told her that being different was a good thing. A beautiful thing.
But as an older child, she started to understand the whispers. Some would doubt her mother’s faithfulness. Others would assume what Darcy now knew to be true—that she was adopted. When Darcy asked her parents about all the talk she overheard around school or Synagogue, they told her not to worry. They said her eyes were a gift; a sign that she was blessed and destined for something great.
Her parents always seemed uncomfortable when she brought it up, though, so she did her best to ignore the gossip. For a while, it worked, as no one ever tried to approach her directly about it. Then in fourth grade, when she was cornered by a group of boys after school. They pulled her braids, threw her books in the mud, classic bully stuff. She was used to it, being notably smaller than most of the kids in the community. But that day, one of the bullies struck a chord.
“You know what I heard?” he sneered to his pals as he towered over her menacingly, “I heard your mom and dad aren’t even yours. You act like one of us, but there’s not a drop of Jewish blood in you, is there?” He pressed a thumb painfully beneath her right eye, “I mean, just look at your eyes. What a freak.”
Darcy punched him in the face. He looked shocked at first, but then he punched her right back. She fell to the ground, unconscious, and woke up in the nurse’s office with her parents hovering worriedly over her.
She never told them what exactly had happened, but a few days later she asked if she could start wearing glasses, although she didn’t actually need them. Eventually, they gave in, assuming it must be some sort of trend, and she had worn them ever since. Her glasses made her feel safe. They were a shield that allowed her to imagine her eyes were a deep brown like those of her parents, or even just a darker, more normal shade of blue. People noticed her eyes less, and eventually, the whispers faded into the shadows.
Darcy had all but forgotten about them until the day her biology-major roommate asked her to do an ancestry test as part of a Genetics project. An ancestry test that, while not successfully connecting her to anyone else in the database, irrefutably proved that her parents were not her parents—which resulted in a very tense Hanukkah that year.
So. She was adopted. It had been several months since that traumatic revelation and Darcy was gradually coming to terms with it. What she was completely unprepared to consider was the fact that she may not even be human to begin with. That piece of information definitely didn’t show up on the ancestry test.
“Am I positive that I’m human ?” Darcy parroted dumbly, in shock that Loki would even ask such an absurd question, “Yeah, last I checked I’m definitely human! I age, I bleed, I went through puberty—”
“Many other species do those very same things, Darcy,” Loki interrupted calmly, “But only a select few possess the power that Asgardians call seidr. Only the few that the people of your planet consider…gods.”
“ Loki , I’m not a god! You’re not a god either, for that matter! There’s only one God and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t run around flirting with mortal girls and blasting green magic at people.”
Loki smiled gently at her retort, “I do not mean ‘god’ in the way you do, Minn Ijós . I simply mean beings of greater ability, longer life, higher intelligence—”
“Did you just call me stupid?”
“No, I called humans stupid. You, Darcy, are not—”
“BUT I AM HUMAN, DANG IT!” Darcy screamed, closing her eyes and backing away from Loki rapidly, hands pressed tightly against her skull, “Maybe I’ve just been around you too much and your power is rubbing off on me. Maybe it was the Tesseract. Maybe I’m just a new kind of human, but I’m human !”
She collapsed to her knees, weeping as the fight left her. “I’m human,” she kept whispering over and over again, believing it less every time she said it.
It made sense, and not just because of the eyes. She had always been a bit faster than others her age. A bit smarter. She made a point of not flaunting it, but she tended to excel at anything she did. That’s what made it so easy to take on an internship in a field of study she’d never even touched before. It’s why she chose to major in Political Science—she’d always had a way with words, and a knack for crafting compelling arguments on the fly. Born to be a lawyer , her father always joked.
“Is the idea of not being human truly so hideous to you?” Loki whispered numbly, his back turned so she could not see his face.
Darcy sighed and withdrew her hands from the tangled mess of her hair. “No, Loki. It’s not hideous. It’s terrifying.”
The tension leaked out of Loki’s shoulders at this, and he approached her like one did a skittish beast before sinking down on the grass beside her so their thighs and shoulders touched. “The unknown often is,” he reached out and took her hand in his, “But you need not be afraid. Knowing does not make you any less Darcy Lewis. You are still the same person who grew up on Midgard, and your parents—” Loki choked off abruptly, and Darcy suddenly realized he may not be talking entirely about her anymore, “Your parents loved you when they knew you were not theirs. I do not believe this knowledge would change a love so strong as to cultivate a woman like you.”
Darcy rested her head on Loki’s shoulder as he intertwined his fingers with hers. “You’re right. Even if it is true, it doesn’t change me unless I let it. Heck, you’re not human and we don’t look all that different.” This last part was intended to lighten the mood, but Darcy regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. A vision of Loki’s blood-red eyes and blue skin flashed through her mind as she realized her mistake and felt him pull away from her.
“Loki, I didn’t mean—it doesn’t change—”
“Darcy…” Even as he withdrew from her with pain marring his features, his voice remained tender, “It is not the same. You are not human, but it is likely you are Aesir or something similar. My heritage is not so…becoming.”
“Loki, I’ve already seen that part of you—”
“You saw the briefest glimpse in a moment of weakness,” Loki interjected, cold seeping into his tone, “But if we are to be…” Darcy’s heart raced as Loki struggled to put words to their unconventional relationship. “...if you truly desire to be with me, then I would have you understand who it is you are bonding yourself to. I do not wish there to be any lies or deception between us.”
Loki turned to Darcy as if needing reassurance, so she rose to her feet and held out a hand to help him do the same, relieved at the change of subject from her peculiar heritage to his. “As far as asking a girl out, that’s a pretty weird approach,” she flirted, infusing her words with a casual tone that she hoped proved how little the color of his skin mattered to her, “But okay, Boyfriend. Show me.”
Even though Darcy had insisted her reaction to discovering she wasn’t human was not one of disgust, Loki had to be sure. He had to be certain that his inhuman heritage wouldn’t frighten her away. It was one thing to love an alien who looked like a man. It was only natural to loathe a man who looked like a monster.
Loki had only shifted into his true form twice—once after the change was triggered by another Jotun, and once when traumatically reliving that very same memory—and he wasn’t sure if he could do it on demand. Of course, the moment he allowed himself to believe that, he knew it was a lie. He could still feel the ice in his center just as clearly as he did his seidr. No longer chained, it sat huddled in a corner deep within him, like a tamed beast that longed to run wild again but feared the wrath of its master.
Loki only hoped that he was the master it feared, and would not become a feast for the starved creature within him.
Loki coaxed at the ice at his core, inviting it to grow, to shift, to seep across his chest. Through his veins. Across his arms and legs and, finally, up his throat and over his features, painting him a grotesque blue. He looked at Darcy with the full force of his menacing red eyes. “This is who I truly am, Darcy. Not Agent Cooper. Not Loki, Prince of Asgard. But a halfling frost giant—a hrimpursar— of Jotunheim. A beast bred for war and destruction. This is what the lies I weave exist to hide, for any who look upon a face such as this could never trust…could never love…”
He closed his eyes then, fighting against the lump in his throat. This was why he depended so heavily on his lies—his deceptions. Truth only ever brought him pain. It was the truth that got him punished as a child, whereas a lie would soothe and cover his mistakes. It was the truth that ultimately led to his banishment when Odin learned of his treachery. And now, the truth would cause him to lose the most important person to him in all the nine realms.
But he loved her, and he could not lie now. Even if the truth cost him everything.
Resigned to this, Loki forced himself to open his eyes and take in the sorrow, the terror, and the disgust that would surely be plain on her features. And yet, when he opened his eyes, he found none of these reactions from Darcy. She had stepped closer to him, her face now only separated from him by their notable height difference as she pressed her hands gently to his chest.
“Loki…as I already told you. I know you’re not human, or Asgardian, or anything other than this. And I don’t care . You can be blue or pink or all the colors of the rainbow—it doesn’t change who you are.”
She reached a hand up to his cheek before Loki could react, and he jerked away from the touch in panic as he recalled what the touch of a Jotun could do, “You cannot touch me, Darcy, I’ll burn you!”
She quirked a brow at him, an amused smile on her face, “Well, I just did, and my hand is fine.” She held up her uninjured palm as evidence, and he reluctantly allowed her to approach him again. “You would never hurt me, Loki. Even your frosty side knows it. And you’re wrong about something else, by the way. You are Loki, Prince of Asgard. And Agent Cooper. And a frost giant. And so much more than any name or title, because those don’t makeup who you are. You are Just Loki, and that’s more than enough.”
At these words, Loki dismissed the Jotun back to its cell and felt the familiar Aesir warmth flood him once again. Tears were pouring unbidden down his cheeks, months of pain and sorrow pouring out of him. He was never enough for Asgard. He was never enough for Jotunheim. But with Darcy, he was enough. She believed in him. She saw him as worthy in a way he had never been able to see himself.
Loki drew Darcy into a tight embrace, burying his face in the soft tresses of her hair and inhaling her scent. She smelled like sweat and desert sands and the metallic tang of weaponry, and it was the most beautiful air he had ever breathed. “This is why I call you Minn Ijós ,” he whispered, pulling back to place a hand against her cheek, “You see the light in me where others have only ever seen darkness. You show me that I can be better—that I am better. But you are so much more than just my light. You shine too brightly for only me to possess. Your light is a guiding force for everyone you meet, bolstering their strength and inspiring happiness in the most dismal of times. You are a wonder, Minn Ijós .”
Wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her up to him, Loki bent his face down to hers and kissed her deeply, pouring his very soul into the act as he laid bare the very essence of who he was before the only person who had ever truly recognized it.
After a moment that was much too short while somehow holding all of eternity within it, Darcy pulled back, gasping for breath as she pressed her forehead against Loki’s. “Okay, so now that we’ve got your emotional damage sorted out, should we get back to mine?”
Loki chuckled at this, gently lowering Darcy until her feet were once again planted firmly on the ground. “And what emotional damage might that be, Darcy? That you’re adopted, or that you are likely not human?”
Darcy shrugged, “I mean the two sort of go hand-in-hand, don’t they? Geez, this is nuts. Just a few months ago I was a normal girl who found out she was adopted. Now I’m probably an alien who is also dating an alien who has also recently discovered he’s adopted. This is either fate or some sort of freaky collection of coincidences.”
“Personally, I do not believe in coincidences,” Loki countered, “There are far too many in this universe for it to be merely circumstantial.”
“Hm, you’re probably right,” Darcy mumbled, “Hey, speaking of circumstances…do you mind filling me in on where we are now?”
Loki looked around with disinterest, “I haven’t the faintest clue, but it does appear to be Midgard.”
“I’m sorry, you don’t know?? You just teleported us to some random location? What if we ended up appearing in the middle of the ocean? Or in the middle of a brick wall? ”
Loki laughed uproariously at this. “The Tesseract is powerful enough to ensure safe passage, no matter the distance we travel, Darcy. I entreated it to remove us to a more private and secure location, and it guided us here.”
“You talk as if it’s alive or something.”
“Alive? No. Sentient? Perhaps. Aware? Certainly.”
Darcy shivered visibly at this but didn’t inquire further. “Okay, so what do we do now?”
“Well that all depends, Minn Ijós ,” Loki held open a palm between them, catching the Tesseract as it dropped from his pocket dimension and quirking his brow mischievously, “Where would you like to go?”
“He calls for war and yet does nothing! How long shall you stand idly by while your father continues to sink our realm into ruin?”
Helblindi glared at his second who spoke so boldly of their king and his own father, but he knew his kinsman to be right. Many of the Jotun people were inspired by Laufey’s declaration in the face of the Allfather himself, and yet the most that had come of it was one brief and fruitless meeting with the king-regent.
Having accompanied his father on this “diplomatic mission,” Helblindi had walked away even more confident in their need to prepare for war. Now was the time to strike, while Odin was compromised and an ignorant buffoon sat in his place
Prince Thor had decimated Jotunheim’s forces once before, but that was merely the palace guard, and they had been caught unawares. He had yet to face Helblindi’s own command: the Svell Val-Tivar . Their might would put the God of Thunder’s mettle to the test if given the chance, along with his trickster of a brother.
Helblindi wrinkled his nose in disgust at the thought of his long-lost older brother growing up under the guise of an Asgardian prince. He should have died in that temple, then Father would not hesitate now.
Just as Helblindi looked up to support his second’s frustrations, a sharp pain pierced the side of his head, sending the Jotun prince sprawling to his knees.
“Helblindi! What is it? What has happened?” He felt the strong hands of his svellbrodira grip his forearms and pull him to standing, but his vision had gone dark. Then, in the dizzying darkness, a strange figure took shape. It was shrouded in a black cloak with only a mouth full of sharp, blood-soaked teeth visible beneath the hood. The mouth smiled maliciously as it opened to greet Jotnar’s crowned prince.
“Congratulations, Jotun. My Master has chosen you for a glorious purpose.”
Notes:
And that concludes Book One!
I hope you all have been enjoying this journey as much as I have, and I can't wait to dive into Darcy's story even more in Book Two: In My Veins.
I'm going to take some time to get ahead on writing and be with my family before my husband deploys in the new year, so you can expect the first chapter of book two to be posted sometime in early January, with weekly updates to follow.
I'll talk to y'all in 2023!
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Song Inspiration for this entire book: "Feel Something" by Jaymes Young (or just listen to the entire "Feel Something" album. It's amazing)
Song for this chapter: "Slow Down" by Mike Mains & The Branches
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TRANSLATIONS:
Svell Val-Tivar - "Ice Warriors/Gods of Battle"
Svellbrodira - "ice brothers" (Jotun version of Asgardian shieldbrothers)
Hrimpursar - "frost giant" (in the context of this story, a derogatory term for the Jotnar)
Minn Ijós - "My Light"