Chapter Text
His fingers danced across his guitar, bathing him in sound.
"You sit so close with your hand on his cheek,
Whispers so soft, voice heavenly sleek,
I've never seen you, but I love you so much,
You can play things by ear, babe, but I'll play them by touch."
Chords rose and fell, like a gentle ocean. His ears were the boat. He let himself be rocked to and fro atop those waves. The guitar was his rudder, his fingers the sails that let him navigate the waters where he truly felt at home.
Somewhere in front of me, a crowd of people silently listened to his song. Occasionally a soft clink would reach his ears as someone set down a glass after taking a drink. Who they were, he had no idea. How big the crowd was, he didn't know. Whether there were more men than women, or vice versa, whether they were watching at him enraptured or staring into space while his music played in the backgrounds of their minds, he didn't care.
All that mattered was the woman he knew was sitting alone at a table in the far left corner.
He started singing again.
"Playing by touch, his hands give him sight,
They cling to you, hold to you, throughout the night,
This man without eyes, his heart you stole,
His fingers know your face, but his lips know your soul."
MC.
His fingers played the last few chords without needing to be told what to do as he fixed his sunglass-covered eyes on where she was sitting. He was probably missing her by a good ten feet, but she would know. As the last note faded, the crowd began to applaud. He smiled, reaching out to feel the stand before carefully setting the guitar back into it, and got to his feet. His white cane was right where He'd left it. Running it gently from side to side in front of me, he made way down from the stage and through the restaurant.
"Are you really blind?" someone asked to his right.
"I don't think he is," somebody else muttered, as if he couldn't hear them. "Just a gimmick."
"You're a regular Stevie Wonder, aren't you?"
"How long have you been blind?
"How did you learn to play?"
"Watch out for—er, never mind."
"Over here, Jihyun."
He sighed in relief, locking onto that last voice. He was used to those kinds of questions. Jihyun couldn't go hardly anywhere without being bombarded by them. That didn't mean he had to like them, though. But that one voice was always welcome in his ears. He followed it through the jungle of noise, stopping when his cane tapped the edge of the table, and fumbled...well, blindly...for the chair.
"That was wonderful," MC said as Jihyun sat down. "I don't think I've heard that one before."
He smiled. "I wrote it about someone special."
"Oh? And who might that be?"
"Your dad."
That made her laugh, which never failed to get him laughing too. Jihyun tried to imagine what she must look like with that smile spread across her face, eyes filled with joy, but couldn't. Every image he brought to his mind felt...inadequate for her beauty. Beauty he'd never seen, despite the year and a half we'd been dating, but he would never stop believing was there.
He held out his hand and heard the scraping of glass against wood as she pushed his drink into it. A fruity cocktail, the kind of thing guys aren't supposed to drink in favor of harder booze, but he hated what alcohol did to him. Walking when you can't see is hard enough without sending your brain on vacation.
Up on stage, someone else went up to try their luck. They ignored the guitar, instead grabbing the microphone and belting out a horrible rendition of I Like Big Butts. They were obviously drunk off their ass, words slurring together almost indecipherable, and soon the entire bar was roaring with laughter. MC and Jihyun sat there in their corner, smiling and sipping their drinks. She had turned twenty-one just three months ago, and Open Mic Night had become a weekly tradition.
He was resting his hand on of the table and felt his heart flutter when she put hers on top. A whole year, and she could still do that. He loved her. Words couldn't express how much that was true. Music came closer, but even that fell short. How the universe thought it was fair, giving such a wonderful woman to a man as broken as him, he had never understood.
The next hour went by slowly, one drink after another, one singer after another. Some were good, some were awful, and it was hard to tell which the audience enjoyed more. Finally, though, he felt MC's hand tighten around his own.
"Take me home, Jihyun," she said softly.
He smiled and nodded, rising from his seat. He paid the tab—He could do that much, at least—and together they headed out into the chilly early evening. They found her car, and he climbed into the passenger seat with the ease of familiarity. Take me home, she'd said. She always said that. But, being how he was, it was always up to her to drive them places. She never complained, though.
"You're safe to drive, right?" Jihyun asked softly.
"Of course, I am," she reassured him. "Not everyone's a lightweight like you."
"Just for that," He said with a grin, "I'm picking the radio station."
"Oh, no, not the classic rock. Whatever will I—" He tuned the radio the loudest, most obnoxious static he could find, and could practically feel the look she gave me. "Seriously?"
She backed out, and soon they were going down the highway.
"Hey, these people are geniuses," Jihyun said. "I love the way they rhymed brzzzz with bizzzzz."
She laughed again at that, and he fumbled to turn it to his favorite rock station, settling back in to enjoy the ride. The drive to his apartment took less than ten minutes, but that was hard to tell when you can't see the clock or the scenery passing by. Even so, he could tell something was off by the turns she made. Going left when she should have turned right, straight when she should have turned left. It wasn't until she parked the car that he realized where they were.
"Your house?" Jihyun asked, perking up in surprise.
"How'd you know?"
"Where else would you take me that has a gravel driveway?"
She chuckled. "Touché, good guess."
"Okay, but...why? Are you feeling okay? Do you need me to take an Uber home?"
Being still the same person as earlier, he obviously couldn't drive himself home from her place. He didn't even own a car. That's why, even though she always told him to take her home, she always dropped him at his apartment first.
MC was quiet for a little bit, but then he felt her hand touch his arm. "I just thought, um...do you want to watch a movie?"
Something in her voice caught his attention. Hesitancy. MC was a strong girl, confident in herself in all the right ways. Nervousness was not in her repertoire. Whatever was going through her head, it was enough to make her uneasy. Slowly, he nodded. What kind of boyfriend would he be if he left her alone when she was so obviously out of sorts? They both got out of the car, and she took his arm to lead him up to the front door even thought he could have found it myself. The house she rented was a small place on a nice, secluded forest road. It took almost every cent she earned just to pay rent, but he knew she thought it was worth it to be away from the noise and chaos of the city. He didn't disagree. He can't tell you how many days he'd sat out on her porch with her, just listening to the birds sing; a type of music you never heard on the city streets.
They stepped inside, and the familiar scents of MC filled his nose: the cinnamon rolls she had baked this morning the perfume she wore so often that it always hung heavy in the air, even the smell of her carpet, badly in need of a vacuuming, smelled pleasantly like her. It smelled like home, even though he'd never actually lived here a day in his life.
She left him on the couch, and a few minutes later another scent joined the others: popcorn. A piping hot bowl was set down in front of me, and HE heard her sifting through her DVD collection at the other end of the living room. Soon, she was nestled in beside me, his arm around her shoulders, while the movie began to play.
The movie was a particularly special one to Jihyun. He could remember what it looked like.
He hadn't always been blind. Seven years ago, when he was only twenty-seven, He'd been in a an abusive relationship. One night, in a fit of his ex's own psychosis, she had begged him to let her blind him. And he had been lovestruck enough to say yes. He'd learned to live with it, and it didn't bother him anymore, but still...this was one of the movies he'd watched a hundred times as a kid. His eyes might not work now, but he could still picture each scene perfectly in his head as he listened to the words.
They watched in silence for about half an hour, only breaking that silence to laugh at a joke. Then Jihyun felt MC shift a little under his arm, heard the remote click as she picked it up off the coffee table, and...
The movie turned off.
"MC?" he asked in surprise. "Darling, are you okay?"
"I'm fine," she whispered, snuggling back up against me. "I just...can you sing me that song again?"
He turned his face toward hers, even though HE couldn't see her. "The one I sang at the bar?"
"Yes."
"Of course."
And so, Jihyun sang. He didn't have a guitar to provide music this time, but he didn't think MC cared. His voice filled her house the way her scents and touch filled his head. He'd spent weeks writing that song, making sure each word, each note, was absolutely perfect. Nothing else would have been good enough for her. His precious MC.
When he reached the chorus, she hugged herself even tighter against me. He could feel her heartbeat.
"Playing by touch, his hands give him sight,
They cling to you, hold to you, throughout the night,
This man without eyes, his heart you stole,
His fingers know your face, but his lips know your soul."
She sighed, and before he knew it had pressed her face against his. Jihyun jumped a little in surprise, but didn't fight it. She was warm and soft, two things that a man who can't see could always appreciate. Then, just as suddenly, she stood up, leaving him alone on the couch.
"I'll be right back," her footsteps telling him she was heading for her bedroom.
"Wh- Where are you going?" He called after her. She didn't answer.
He sat there quietly, alone and confused, for almost five minutes. He strained his ears, trying to pick up some clue of what was going on, but he could hear nothing. His palms began to sweat. She was acting so strange. Was something wrong? Should he go check on her? What if she—
"Okay," her voice pulled him back to reality. "I- I'm ready."
There was something else in her voice now, but he couldn't quite place it. Almost like...embarrassment? What did she have to feel embarrassed about around me? Even if she'd done something, goofed something up, she knew he couldn't see it.
"Ready to start the movie?" He asked.
"Yeah," she said after a moment's hesitation.
She sat down next to him again, and Jihyun didn't waste any time in putting his arm around her shoulders once more. Something struck him as feeling...odd. When she didn't immediately start the movie again, that only gave him more time to think about it.
It took him a second to realize that he could feel the skin of her arm when she'd been wearing long sleeves before. Was that what she had gone into her room for, to change her shirt? Why would that make her act so strange? His fingers trailed up her arm to the shoulder. Nothing. Was she wearing a tank top? In this weather? But his hand delicately traced even further, going toward her neck now, and still couldn't find a hint of cloth. His heart began to beat harder.
No way...
Hardly daring to breathe, his hand began to go stroke back down her arm, and when Jihyun reached her elbow, he hesitantly moved it to touch her stomach. Sure enough, all he felt was more skin.
"MC," He said, hardly able to talk with his heart so far up his throat, "are...are you...naked?"
She leaned closer and whispered in his ear, "Jihyun, I want your song to be true. I want your hands to be your eyes tonight. I want them to see melike nobody ever has before."
"You mean..."
She gently took his chin and turned his head to face hers, then kissed him tenderly.
"Yes." Her lips were still so close that he could feel her smile. "I want you to make love to me tonight, Jihyun."
His breath caught in his lungs. You have no idea how badly he'd wanted to hear those words. He never thought he would, though. Dating a blind man was one thing. Somewhere deep in his heart, he'd known she would break up with him someday. Who would want to have sex with somebody who couldn't see you and admire you?
"Are you sure?" he whispered.
In answer, she stood up right in front of Jihyun. Taking his hands in her own, she raised them and placed them against her sides. Her hips, he realized.
Her naked hips.
"Go ahead," she encouraged him. "Use your hands. See me, Jihyun."
Hardly able to believe this was happening, Jihyun did as she said. Running his hands up her sides as delicately as he could, he felt her smooth, soft flesh beneath his palms. MC sighed, shivering slightly. Up to her waist, then the sides of her chest. Just as his hands reached her armpits, he realized it was happening. He was feeling her shape, piece by piece. For the first time in the year and half they'd been dating, an image was forming in his head.
An image of her.
To Jihyun, she was just right. Perfect. Not that she wouldn't ever have been perfect, no matter what he felt.
He ran his hands back down again, feeling the way her hips rounded. She shivered again, and he felt goosebumps rising over her skin. Like the world's most erotic story written in braille. Slowly, his hands made their way down her right leg, wrapping around her calf as the mental image became more complete with every second.
Yes, he thought, caressing her foot before moving to the other leg. Yes!
Beneath the wonder of "seeing" his girlfriend for the first time, though, he was feeling something else, too. The beginnings of arousal were stirring inside of him. And why shouldn't they have? He was feeling up his naked girlfriend while she whispered how badly she wanted to make love to him.
His hand reached her hip a third time, and he paused. "MC, c- can I..."
"You don't have to ask permission, Jihyun. Not from me."
Eagerly, yet still a little nervously, he stood up and pulled her close for a kiss. The way her naked form pressed up against his only made the rapid hardening of his cock that much more obvious. While their tongues wrestled, his hands went around to her back to continue exploring. It didn't take a genius to know when he found her butt.
"Oh, Jihyun," she moaned into his mouth as he ran his palms up, down, and around the two firm, plump cheeks. The mental image grew clearer, attaching what he was feeling to the rest of her. Good God, He'd had no idea his girlfriend had such an amazing ass!
She was moving now, he realized. Not enough to break the kiss, but enough that he could feel...something...rubbing him through the fabric of his shirt. Two somethings, actually. Realization nearly made him choke on MC's tongue, even while she sighed blissfully at the friction, she was making between the pair.
More! He needed more! Leaving her butt alone—for now, anyway—He trailed his fingers up her spine. It was marvelous. Resting his hands against her back, he couldn't believe how clearly he could feel her muscles shift with every slight movement she made. Soft and smooth, yet somehow firm as well.
Then MC broke the kiss, stepping back and taking his hands again. "Jihyun..."
"MC..."
"I want you to see me," she said, raising his hands toward her again. "All of me."
Two soft mounds of flesh touched his palms, and he jumped a little when he realized what they were. Tentatively, Jihyun wrapped his fingers around them, making MC coo in pleasure. Yes...Just like everything else about her, they were just right. He pressed against them, feeling the nipple poking his hand, and began to gently knead them in slow circles. MC arched her back to push them even further into his hands. He ran his right hand down a little, not taking it off, until he could grip the nipple between his finger and thumb.
She jumped a little. "Not so hard."
"Sorry," he whispered.
She leaned in and kissed me. "It's okay. Just be gentle. They're sensitive."
Sensitive, huh? An idea came to him and, while he continued to fondle her, he slowly leaned his head forward. It was awkward, not being able to see exactly where his face was heading, but he used his hands as guides. When he felt her lips brush the back of his left hand, he slowly took it away, and...
"Oooh, Jihyun!" MC moaned as his tongue ran over her nipple for the first time.
His lips tightened around her tit. The taste was intoxicating. Just knowing that he was sucking on his girlfriend's breast was enough to harden his boner to painful levels. The way she moaned as his tongue flicked this way and that, teasing her nipple, feeling it grow firmer by the second, was sweeter music to his ears than he could ever make.
That left him with one free hand, though, and one part of her that he still didn't have a picture of. Putting that hand on her smooth, soft tummy, he gently ran his fingers down, feeling the dimple her belly button made in her otherwise smooth flesh. Lower. Her breathing began to get heavier in anticipation. His fingertips brushed a small, trimmed patch of hair. A little lower, and...
There. Even if he hadn't known what he'd found by the heat and the slick wetness, the way MC let out a gasping moan would have tipped him off. Her pussy was warm to the touch. His index finger found a little nub of flesh, almost like a nipple but smaller, that made MC squirm when he brushed it. He ventured a little further down, feeling the way her slick flesh began to part a little at his touch.
And just like that, his fingertip slid into her.
MC bucked suddenly, startling me, but put her arms behind his head and held him close so he couldn't go anywhere.
"Darling?" he asked nervously. "Are you—"
"Sorry." She sounded out of breath. "You just made me jump a little. That's the first time anyone has ever touched me there."
"Do you like it?" he breathed.
"Yesss," she said, leaning in to start licking and nibbling on his throat. "Please, keep going."
Jihyun did as she said, sliding a little more of his finger into her eager opening. The moist walls seemed to clench down on it, begging him to touch all of it at once. He drew the finger out, making her moan, and then added another. Slowly, he worked them further into her pussy, waiting for her to tell him he'd hurt her, or gone too far, or something. She didn't, though, and soon both his fingers were buried up to the knuckle inside her.
"I've wanted this for so long, Jihyun," she whispered in his ear. "To be with you like this. But you never asked, never made any kind of advances. I was starting to think you...didn't want me."
He froze, fingers still inside her, and pulled his mouth from her breast. "Didn't want you? Nobody on earth would be stupid enough not to want you!"
"Then why hadn't you..."
"Because you're the one who shouldn't want me!" he insisted. "I know what I am, MC. I'm broken. Damaged goods. Why you've wasted even a year of your life with me, I'll never understand. I know I don't deserve you. You deserve someone who isn't..."
Blind.
He didn't know what to expect next. Surely he had just, if nothing else, completely ruined the mood, right? She was going to pull away, go get dressed, and offer to drive him home. He'd be lucky if she didn't break up as soon as They got there. He sighed. At least he had gotten to experience this, at brief as was.
She kissed him. He jumped in surprise, of course not having seen it coming, but she locked their lips together and refused to let him go. For over a minute they kissed, her chest pressed against his, his fingers apparently forgotten deep inside her sex. Finally, she broke the kiss and took his head in both her hands, holding it as if she were trying to make eye contact.
"Jihyun Kim," she said softly but firmly, "I love you. Do you think I'd do this for someone if I didn't? I don't give a hoot that you can't see. You're sweeter than any other man I've ever met. Your music is beautiful, and even though your blind you see the world more clearly than most I know. And I know you love you too. So, let's drop the angst and the self-pity, and give each other what we both want. Okay?"
"Okay," Jihyun said, head spinning.
"Good." Letting go of his face and withdrawing his fingers from her sex—they were coated with her juices now—she took him by the hand and began to lead him across her house. He followed, trying to make a mental map of her place even though he had a pretty good idea where they were going. Sure enough, a minute later he felt his knees bump against her bed, and she turned him around. "Here, let him help you with those."
Before he had a chance to ask, she was already pulling his shirt over his head. Despite everything that had already happened, his cheeks burned. He had no idea what he looked like. He knew he was in relatively good shape. Not athletic, but not fat either. But somehow, he doubted that he was any match for the beauty he had felt just minutes ago.
But if MC was disappointed, she did a great job of not showing it. Tossing his shirt somewhere, she ran her hands across his chest the same way he had done to her, murmuring appreciatively in her throat. He felt her lean down and jumped a little when her tongue flicked across his nipple, which made her chuckle.
Kissing his stomach, she slid down to her knees, and He felt her hands fumble for a second with his belt before undoing it. His button came undone, his zipper went down, and he took a deep breath at what he knew was coming next. Hooking her thumbs around the hem, she pulled them down around his ankles—and not just his jeans. His boxers too.
Now just as naked as her, his cock sprang to attention, happy to be freed from its cotton and denim prison. His heart pounded in his chest, his palms growing sweaty. What did she think? Was she disappointed? Why didn't she say anything? God, what he wouldn't have given just to be able to see her face.
Her hand wrapped around his cock, and he felt her breath puff against it when she said, "My, oh my, looks like somebody's eager!"
He didn't—couldn't—say anything. He just trembled as MC gently pushed against his stomach, making him sit down on her bed. He felt her lean over his lap, breasts rubbing against his calves, and run her hand up and down his shaft slowly. He couldn't see, but he could sense her face hovering just inches away from it.
"...Love you," he managed to gasp.
He could hear her smile when she said, "I love you too."
Then she licked his cock. Her wet, warm, smooth tongue ran all the way across its length, starting at his balls and ending at the head. The entire thing twitched, letting out an excited dribble of precum while he leaned his head back and gasped. MC practically purred her approval, licking up the precum like ice cream melting off its cone, then swirled her tongue a few times around the head.
"Oh, God!" he moaned. "M- MC, that's—"
"You like it?" she asked.
"Yes!"
"Well then," she licked it up and down a couple more times, "I think you're going to love this..."
She stood up, climbing onto the bed with me. He couldn't see it, but the way he felt both her knees touching his hips, he knew she was straddling me. She put her hands on his shoulders, letting her breasts rub against his bare chest, and kissed me. There was a salty taste on her tongue this time, but that only turned him on more.
"Lie down," she whispered. He obeyed, lying on his back while she stayed on her knees. Perfect fingers trailed down his chest and belly, then wrapped around his cock. She raised it so that it was pointing into the air. He felt the moist folds of her pussy brush against the tip, and...
"Jihyun?" she said hesitantly.
"Y- Yeah?"
"I really do love you. So, so much."
And with that, she lowered herself onto me. The tip of his cock parted her pussy lips, making both of them gasp in unison. Those sensations! Even her mouth couldn't compare to this! MC moaned as she slid further down, taking more of him in. He wished he could have seen it, but feeling it was good enough. So warm, so soft...
Finally, she sat down on him, his entire cock buried inside of her. For over a minute, they both just stayed like that, reveling in the feeling of being joined together for the first time. It was God damn heaven. Slowly, he sat up, and when she didn't object, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. He wanted every part of them to be touching. Not just our bodies. Their souls, too. Feeling like he was in a dream, he felt for MC's cheek, then kissed her.
"Jihyun?" she whispered into his ear. "I need you to do something for me."
"Anything."
"I need you," she moved her hips a little, stirring his cock within her pussy, "to fuck me!"
She didn't need to tell him twice. Sitting on the edge of her bed, the most world's most beautiful woman naked in his lap, he gently bucked his hips, pulling his cock a little bit of the way out before pushing it back in. MC moaned in pleasure, resting her head on his shoulder and kissing his neck. He kept going, building up the tempo with every thrust, listening to her to see if he was going too hard. The sound of flesh pounding against flesh filled her room.
MC's moans were getting louder.
"Oh God," she whimpered, hugging him tighter. "Oh God, oh God! Jihyun, you...you're going to make me..."
She cried out, almost a scream, as her pussy tightened around his cock in orgasm. It nearly drove him over the edge. Running his hands down her back, HE grabbed hold of her ass and pulled her even closer. HE could feel his own orgasm swiftly building up in the base of his cock.
"Don't stop," she begged me.
"I- MC, I'm," He stammered, barely able to think through the pleasure, "I'm getting close too!"
She kissed me. "It's okay. I'm safe."
"You mean..."
"Yes, Jihyun. I—ooohhh—I want you to...cum in...me!"
That was all it took. Feeling his girlfriend's sex tighten around him for the first time, making the friction unbearable, he exploded. Instantly, it felt like all of his energy was shooting up from his cock and into MC, and he collapsed backwards on her bed before he had even finished.
"Oooh, I can feel it," she was moaning, still sitting on top of me. "I can feel it inside me, Jihyun. It's...oh, God..."
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she laid down on top of him, his cock still buried inside of her.
"Jihyun," she breathed, "that was wonderful."
"So were you," he said, equally out of breath. "Thank you. I'm glad my first time could be with someone like you."
"And mine," she said, snuggling up against me, "with you."
And they laid there, basking in the mutual glow of their orgasms, until they fell asleep. The last thing he thought before drifting off to dreamland was how utterly, insanely lucky he was. Sometimes it's good to go in with a plan. Sometimes it's good to play things by ear. But sometimes...just sometimes... You could play things by touch.
