Chapter Text
Today would surely be her last day, but Sansa didn't mind. She had lived a long life and, after a hellish decade, she had been crowned and blessed with three kind children. Rickon, for her wild little brother and his father, Jeyne, for her truest friend, and Catelyn, for her lady mother. She even was a grand-mother now! She had two grandchildren, the twins Thorren and Brandon. The Queen in the North wished she could see them grow old and become adults, but she had made peace with her incoming death. Her body was weak, and her health was declining. According to the maesters, the abuse she had endured in her youth had weakened her health. Rickon had been enraged upon learning that his mother’s past was still haunting her, but Sansa knew it was simply the way things were. The Old Gods were calling her back to them, and she would watch over her children from the Godswood.
There was a knock on the door, and a voice called out for her.
"Mother, are you awake?"
It was Rickon. She invited him to come inside, and her son came to sit by her side. He had blue eyes like her, but his hair and bulk were similar to his father's. He had been a Northern soldier in charge of guarding her, and he had loved her. He was kind and gentle. She had thought of marrying him after getting pregnant, but he had been killed when a Pentoshi nobleman whom she had refused to marry had tried to assassinate her. His name had been Rickard, like many Northmen, and she had mourned him for years.
"I am, but not for long…" Sansa confessed. Rickon looked at her sadly, and Sansa grabbed his hand. "Don't be sad, my sweet son. It's life. My brothers and sister are coming, are they not?"
"They are, mother."
"Good, good. You won't forget what I taught you, will you?"
"Of course not, Mother. I'll look after the North, and my children will do so after me."
Sansa nodded.
"I love you."
The Queen in the North closed her eyes, and fell asleep to never wake, thinking of her beloved kingdom…
And yet she opened her eyes once more. Yet, she wasn't Queen in the North anymore. No, according to the new memories currently swirling into her mind, she was now Helaena Targaryen, the tragic sister-wife of Aegon II Targaryen. Sitting in front of a mirror, the former Queen looked at her reflection, clutching a doll against her chest. Her body was barely five years-old, so the Dance hadn't begun yet. Or rather, the open battles hadn't begun yet, but the hatred between Rhaenyra Targaryen and Alicent Hightower had now been raging for a couple of years.
And yet, in Helaena's memories, Sansa saw Queen Alicent's loving nature towards her children. The wicked stepmother was nowhere to be seen. Instead, she saw a loving woman whose eyes were filled with fear and anxiety for her children. She 'remembered' Alicent offering a book on bugs to Helaena, who had developed a strange interest in them. Sansa clutched the doll tighter against her chest. She hadn't felt a mother's love in decades, and she couldn't help but long for it.
When she had passed away in Winterfell, Lady Catelyn had been for half a century, and herself had ruled half of Westeros for forty years. Her eldest son Rickon had taken the throne when she had fallen ill, and she knew he and his children would rule wisely. However, despite all the love she had received from her children and grandchildren, she had longed for a mother's embrace.
'What should I do?' she thought as she put her tiny plump hand on the mirror. She wasn't Helaena, and yet she was. She had her memories, her feelings for her siblings and mother. And yet, she was also Sansa Stark, Queen in the North, daughter of Ned Stark and Catelyn Tully, sister to Robb, Jon, Arya, Bran and Rickon. She couldn't tell those around her, though. At best, people would think her mad. At worst, they might execute her for some sort of witchcraft.
As she reflected on her position – a powerless and young princess whom history would remember as tragic –, the door of her bedroom opened, and two boys came in, followed by a guard. The second they saw her, the boys gasped and came straight running as the guard yelled something in the corridor. Before Sansa could move to avoid them, they were hugging her. 'Aegon! Aemond! Here they are!' supplied the childish memories of Helaena Targaryen. Sansa's eyes widened slightly, and she instinctively hugged the two boys back.
"You're awake!" Aemond exclaimed. "I thought you'd sleep forever!"
"W-what?" she stammered.
The boys took a step back, and Sansa detailed them quickly. Aegon seemed to be eight, while Aemond was merely three or four.
"Don't you remember? You fell from a poney, and you hurt your head" Aegon said. "You've been unconscious for three days. I'm so glad you're awake" he told her with a sweet smile.
'How can this gentle boy become the whoring king people remember him as? He has a good heart...' Sansa thought. She was about to thank him when running footsteps were heard. They all looked at the door as Queen Alicent entered. Sansa almost gasped; she was splendid. Long auburn hair, beautiful green eyes, delicate features and a slender body. Her lips were thin, her nose and ears small. She was merely twenty-and-three, and yet four times a mother.
"Helaena!" the Queen exclaimed.
A couple of seconds later, Sansa found herself engulfed in the queen's loving hug. The child in her was overjoyed, and she wanted to be as close as possible to her mother. Sansa indulged the feeling, enjoying the embrace as well. Her eyes closed, she could almost imagine it was Lady Catelyn Tully who was hugging her so dearly.
"My sweet daughter, you're awake, you're finally awake…"
"I'm okay, mama" she said, her face against her mother's neck. "It doesn't hurt."
The Queen looked her in the eyes, and put a hand on her cheek.
"I'm glad to hear it, my sweet girl. The maester will have to check on you, though. Is that okay? I'll make sure it's maester Gwyn, you seem to like him more than the others."
Sansa nodded. From Helaena's memories, she could see that the child usually disliked touch, especially when coming from strangers. Only her brothers and mother were allowed to touch her. Maester Gwyn was apparently the only maester kind enough to make sure the little princess was comfortable. She was glad Queen Alicent cared to remember her daughter's preferences and interests.
"Thanks mama," she said cheerfully.
"I'll stay with her!" Aegon offered. "If the maester bothers her, Sunfyre will burn his clothes" he then said with a malicious smile.
Aemond giggled at the idea, and Sansa found herself doing the same. She had horrible memories of Daenerys Targaryen's dragons, but Helaena deeply loved them. The child had wanted to bond with one and fly up in the sky. Sansa had to admit that it seemed wonderful, although she would always prefer direwolves. Her heart sank as she remembered her dear Lady. She hoped she wouldn't have to suffer this loss again. According to the history books, Helaena Targaryen had ridden Dreamfyre, but she didn't know if it was still possible. She hoped so; the Dance would happen whether she liked it or not, and Dreamfyre was a strong dragon who would be able to protect her.
"No need to have Sunfyre do such things, I'll be right there as well. But I'm glad to know you want to protect your sister", Queen Alicent said with a smile.
"Of course I do! Helaena is small, and she's a girl."
"Arya would have hated such words" Sansa thought with a smile.
"Well, you must make sure to protect Aemond and Daeron just as well, alright?" Alicent said.
"Well duh, they're babies, " the boy said.
Sansa giggled as little Aemond protested. The Queen seemed quite happy with the situation as well, although the fear in her eyes wouldn't disappear. The former Queen in the North could imagine that her own mother's blue eyes must have looked the same during the war. Her heart sank for Queen Alicent. She had been married so young, and her fate had been unkind. Outliving all of her children and grandchildren… It was unfair.
It had been a week since she had become Helaena, and Sansa was slowly getting used to it. Her new brothers were gentle with her, sometimes bringing her flowers and talking to her about anything and everything, especially Aemond. He still struggled with some words, and couldn't speak High Valyrian yet, but Sansa enjoyed his company. He was fierce and vicious despite his age, screaming his head off and clawing at anyone whenever something displeased him, but he would come to her when he had a nightmare at night. He reminded her of Rickon, who had been as wild as Shaggydog, but loyal to his core.
This week also taught her more about Princess Rhaenyra and Queen Alicent's relationship. Helaena hadn't been very observant of the situation, which was quite normal as she had been a young child, but Sansa was. The Green faction was clearly more informed than the Black one, and it was merely Princess Rhaenyra's status as heir that kept it functioning. Otherwise, it seemed to be quite the disaster and pretty powerless. Worse, she had caught a glimpse of her nephew Jacaerys, and it was now painfully obvious that the rumours were true. This infant couldn't be Ser Laenor's son. 'At least Cersei bedded a man who looked like her', she thought to herself after seeing the child.
Another strength of the black faction was King Viserys himself. He seemed to care little to not at all about his children by Queen Alicent. He hadn't visited her once since she had opened her eyes, nor had he sent her a gift. It was rather painful to witness how much he favoured Rhaenyra. As much as her brothers hated to show it, Sansa knew it hurt them to see so little of their father whilst he covered his daughter and his first grandson with lavish presents.
Therefore, when she saw Aemond wiping angry tears after being denied an interview with their father, Sansa decided she hated the old sickly King. He was a horrible father, and it was no surprise that the animosity between the children grew like the books told. That day, she had taken Aemond to her room where he had cried for half an hour before falling asleep, exhausted.
Rhaenyra Targaryen may have earned her nickname of 'The Realm's Delight' years ago, but Sansa didn't think she was as pretty as rumours told. She found her past self prettier, even after she had given birth and grown older. Arya had been much more beautiful as well, her wild look giving her an otherworldly beauty. Moreover, there was something in Rhaenyra's eyes that Sansa disliked. It was the same glint that Daenerys Targaryen had had decades ago. The glint of a barely suppressed insanity. The Targaryen madness.
'Every time a Targaryen is born, the gods flip a coin…' she told herself. Still, Rhaenyra had a gentle smile on her face. It seemed history books had had one thing right when they had said that the Half-Year Queen liked her sister Helaena. It was good; Sansa didn't want to pretend to be scared. She had done it for far too long last time she had been in King's Landing. She would hate to do it again when she was the Queen's own daughter.
"Hello, sweet sister, where are you going?" the Princess of Dragonstone asked with a gentle smile.
"I'm going to see mama, and you?" Sansa replied.
"Visiting my baby, Jacaerys. Would you like to come see him later?"
"Can I bring Aemond? He's bored because Aegon is always training with his sword."
Disgust briefly shone in the Princess' eyes, but she covered it quickly with a gentle smile. 'Where does that come from? Does she hate that my new brothers are true-born sons and not bastards like her boy?' Sansa wondered.
"Of course. I'm sure he'll be glad to see his nephew as well."
"I'll tell him then! But first, I have to see mama."
"Yes, of course. Go to your mother."
She had almost spat the word. A real child might have not noticed the contempt in the Princess' voice, but Sansa had. Rhaenyra did care for Helaena… so long as she was harmless. 'She's not nearly as smart and good at the game as Cersei was. I wonder how long she would have been able to rule, even without the Dance', Sansa thought as she left Rhaenyra.
She found Queen Alicent in her study, reading a letter. When Sansa glanced at the sigil, she widened her eyes. The direwolf of Winterfell. She wanted to snatch it from the woman so she could read what had happened to her beloved North. She was the Queen in the North, no one else! She was the one who had made her land independent and carried on her brother's legacy! And yet, none of this had happened yet in this reality. The Targaryens had their dragons, and no one could fight them except for Dorne. 'Maybe history would have been different if Aegon the Conqueror had come during winter. It would have been too cold for the dragons.'
"Helaena, sweetheart, what are you doing here?"
"I wanted to see you!" she said with a smile, forcing herself to look away from the direwolf sigil.
"Did you, now? Come and sit on my lap, we'll eat together."
"Yes mama!"
She climbed on the Queen's lap, and looked at the letter. Alicent noticed it, grabbing it to show it to her.
"Are you interested in the letter? It's from the Starks in the North."
"Winter is coming" Sansa couldn't help but say.
"Indeed my dear. Winter is coming, so are the Stark words. I suppose in the end, they're always right. Winter always comes. But where have you learnt their words?"
"I know all the words of the great houses!" Sansa exclaimed.
"Really? I'm proud of you. Can you tell me?"
Sansa nodded and complied. Even in her past life she had known all the words of Westeros' great houses at age five. At age six, she had known all the lesser houses of the North and the Riverlands, the kingdom she loved the most after the North. At age eight, she knew every house, their sigils and words. It had always come naturally to her, whereas arithmetic had been a nightmare. Just like Lady Catelyn had in another lifetime, Alicent congratulated Sansa, praising her memory and knowledge of the noble houses.
"Diplomacy is very important for a princess. Men fight with swords, but a woman's greatest weapon is her wits."
"Courtesy is a lady's armour" Sansa replied with a smile.
"Exactly. When have you become so wise my sweet girl?"
"It's just something I heard the septa said" Sansa lied, giggling.
"Good, good. I don't want you to be wise too soon. You're too young to be wise" the queen replied while playing with her hair.
"Hmm. I want to keep collecting bugs for a long time. Will I be able to visit the kingdoms to see the bugs everywhere?"
"Of course. But not right now, you need to be older to travel."
"But I'm a big girl, I'm five! I'll be six soon!"
Sansa pouted for good measure when queen Alicent giggled. She had to keep up appearances. Thankfully, she had spent a decade playing the roles monsters had expected her to play. Cersei, Ramsay, Littlefinger. She had played them like a fiddle. Nevertheless, she hoped she would be able to form a genuine bond with this new family. 'The lone wolf dies, but the pack survives. This lifetime may have made me a dragon, but I'll always be a direwolf.'
Sansa's new life remained uneventful for six months. She had barely seen the King in the meantime, and his rotting body almost made her gag. He disgusted her, and the former Queen in the North made sure to avoid him as much as she could. She did the same with the Princess Rhaenyra. There was no need to get close to the woman who had ordered the murder of Jaehaerys, and maybe the rape of Helaena and Alicent. These things hadn't come to pass – and Sansa had no intention to let them come to pass –, but she still felt a pang of disgust at the sight of the woman history would remember as King Maegor With Tits. Part of her wondered if it came from her own relationship with Daenerys Targaryen, part of her didn't care.
Sansa was in the dragonpit with Aegon when her life changed again. As her new brother tamed Sunfyre, his golden dragon, the tamers suddenly began crying out in High Valyrian words Sansa didn't understand. Nevertheless, they were evidently panicked, and Sansa froze as she heard the roar of a dragon.
"What's going on?" Aegon yelled.
"It is Dreamfyre Your Graces. She suddenly got mad. You must go out, we'll calm her", a keeper said with a thick accent.
'Dreamfyre? Isn't that…?' Sansa's heart picked up as she felt something. Something lurking under her skin, throbbing in her veins and in her heart. She knew this feeling, even though she hadn't felt it in half a century. Lady.
Before she could think, Sansa was running. Running straight towards the roaring dragon, or rather the howling direwolf. Lady, Lady, Lady! It was her Lady, it had to be her! Ignoring the screams behind her, carried by Lady's soulbond with her, Sansa descended in the dragon pit. And there, she saw her. A blue dragon, much bigger Drogon and Rhaegal had been. It was Dreamfyre, the dragon Helaena Targaryen had ridden. And yet, it wasn't Dreamfyre. It was Lady, Sansa's beloved Lady.
"Lådy, cålm døwn! Ít's ålríght!" Sansa yelled in the Old Tongue she had learnt from Tormund. " Ít's mě! Ít's Sånså!"
At these words, the dragon calmed down, whining pitifully. Poor Lady, she ought to be so confused. The direwolf inside the dragon extended her long neck, and Sansa hugged the immense face as much as she could. She was small, and Dreamfyre was big. Yet, her little body pressed against Lady's immense one, she could remember the moments they had spent together. They would put their heads together, and Sansa would sing to her direwolf. And now, her one true soulmate was back. The Gods had been merciful.
"Lådy, ít's mě, Sånså. Í'm Hělåěnå Ťårgåryěn ås wěll, nøw. Yøü årě Ďrěåmfyrě, å drågøn. Wě tråvěllěd thrøügh tímě, ånd øür søüls føünd něw bødíěs. Yøü müst håvě běěn sø scårěd, my swěět Lådy... Oně dåy, å wår wíll cømě, büt wě'll prěvåíl, Í prømísě. Wíll yøü prøtěct mě? Í shån't lět ånyøně hürt yøü ěvěr ågåín. Í swěår ít øn thě Old Ğøds ånd thě Něw."
The dragon made a sound that seemed happy, and Sansa smiled at her sweet Lady, tears in her eyes. She was back. Her beloved protector, her one true soulmate, was here. She wasn't alone in this cursed lifetime. Someone knew who she was, as their souls were connected despite time and space. Nothing could separate them, and Sansa wanted to sing a thousand songs for the Old Gods who had given her Lady back.
"Helaena!" Someone screamed behind her.
Sansa whirled around and Lady growled. The former queen immediately relaxed. It was Aegon, whose face showed his distress and worry. She smiled and waved at him. Still, her brother engulfed her in a crushing hug. His entire body was shaking, and Sansa patted his back. 'Such a gentle heart, he must have worried himself sick.'
"It's okay, Aegon. Dreamfyre wanted my attention, she felt me above and wanted me to ride her. I don't think she meant to scare everyone…"
"Dreamfyre called for you?" he exclaimed, grabbing her by the shoulders to look her in the eyes.
"Yes, I felt her in my heart. Don't you feel Sunfyre?"
"Of course I do. But you scared me, Helaena. Don't do that again, or Mother will faint."
"I didn't mean to scare you, I'm sorry. I just wanted to get to Dreamfyre."
"I get it", he said with a smile. "But you have to be careful, promise?"
"Promise!" she smiled. "Do you think the tamers will let Dreamfyre outside? She's been locked here for so long. Even if I can't fly!"
"I don't know, we'll have to ask."
Half an hour later, the royal family was watching Dreamfyre take to the sky. Lady was roaring in happiness, clearly enjoying the sensation. Sansa couldn't help but laugh, feeling her soulmate's happiness in her heart. This new life had been unexpected, and she didn't know what would come to be, but she wasn't alone with Lady Dreamfyre by her side.