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There is a room in Lotus Pier that is always sealed. The room sits squarely between his uncle’s room and his. The doors bear no locks, and yet, they only open for one person. Jin Ling has seen it happen, on rare occasions— his Jiujiu, slipping into the room, as dark and silent as a shadow.
He does not know what Jiujiu does when he’s in there, nor does he know what lies inside. But secrets have a way of captivating young minds. Jin Ling had once imagined the room to be a treasure trove, brimming with the rarest and most valuable of goods — priceless vases, gold jewelry, precious metals. As he grew older, however, he'd come to realize that most treasures were meant to be flaunted. There was no reason for secrecy. Not unless the room contained something dark and deeply forbidden, a library of darkly furnished tomes on secret cultivation techniques and ancient torture methods.
Secrets have a way of captivating young minds. It itches, and itches, and itches at him , until there comes a day when seven-year-old Jin Ling can no longer keep it to himself.
“I think the room beside mine is a secret torture chamber!” he blurts out.
Halfway through an explanation on arithmetics, his tutor just blinks, seemingly taken aback at the unrelated outburst, before she raises a stern eyebrow.
“I will take that as confirmation that you haven’t been paying attention to our lesson,” she observes wryly. “Unless the young master can explain how he derived that far-fetched idea from his abacus.”
Jin Ling scowls down at said abacus.
“It’s not far-fetched,” he mumbles sulkily.
His tutor sighs.
“It’s probably just a personal storeroom,” she finally indulges. “I doubt it’s anything so far-fetched as a torture chamber . The room is too small for that.”
“Maybe it’s just the entrance to his secret torture chamber,” Jin Ling suggests knowingly.
His tutor closes her eyes.
“And where,” she begins tiredly, “in the family residence is there space for the rest of the torture chamber?”
“Underground,” Jin Ling responds seriously.
His tutor exhales.
“I highly doubt Sect Leader has stationed the entrance of a secret, underground torture chamber beside your bedroom,” she rebuts flatly. “Nor do I think he would build a secret torture chamber directly below your room when we all have standing orders to keep you away from the cells when he’s… interrogating.”
Jin Ling is young, yes, but he is also old enough to know exactly what that means. He’d ventured too close once and heard the screams. When his uncle had found out—
He shudders at the memory.
That had not been a good day for anybody.
“If it’s not a secret torture chamber,” he continues, turning resolutely back to the topic of conversation, “then maybe it’s a library of secret and forbidden cultivation techniques.”
“It’s a personal storeroom, young master,” his tutor sighs. “Please, let us return to our lesson.”
“Why all the secrecy if it’s just his stuff!” Jin Ling argues, throwing his hands up.
“Sect Leader has always been a private person,” his tutor points out, with an air of finality, “who would be deeply disappointed to learn that you’ve been thinking up far-fetched fantasies, instead of focusing on your lessons. Now, if you will refer to your text…”
The discussion ends there.
But the thought does not.
The door to the sealed room continues to taunt him, morning and night, as he leaves and returns to his room. It’s almost agonizing — the itch to know.
Jiujiu is away again, on yet another one of his sect errand trips, and really, there is only so long a seven-year-old can be left alone with only boredom for company.
And so, he begins to hatch a plan . Away on his trip, Jiujiu is certainly not around to stop Jin Ling from waltzing into his rooms and accessing his wardrobe, so Jin Ling starts with a pair of boots, hoisting them up and carrying them out to the sealed doors.
The doors do not open.
After a moment, he sets the boots on the floor, stepping gingerly into them. Each boot comes up almost past his knees, making them impossible to walk in. Luckily, he is already at his destination. When he pushes tentatively against the doors, however, they still do not give. He goes back into Jiujiu’s room.
He carries on like this, carrying articles of clothing to the door and putting them on. He tries Jiujiu’s robes, even puts on Jiujiu’s spare headdress, the special sect leader’s headdress, but the doors do not open for him. He is drowning in the too-large robes when a servant walks into the courtyard. Luckily, the servant just chuckles delicately into her sleeve.
“It’s okay, young master,” she whispers, with a wink. “I won’t tell anyone that you were playing dress-up.”
The sheer humiliation of that is overwhelming, but he forces himself to nod. This is all in the name of his grand mission. Great sacrifices need to be made to achieve great successes. So he endures as the servant helps him out of the robes, and puts everything back into Jiujiu’s wardrobe. Then, she turns around with a gentle smile.
“Go out and play with the other children, young master,” she urges. “Don’t sit in here by yourself. If Sect Leader knew, he would be sad to hear it.”
This had been the first summer he'd been allowed to join the rest of the disciples in group training. Afterwards, the four other disciples in his age bracket always go off together, but they never invite him to play. They probably don’t think he’s worthy, just because he doesn’t have parents. The children at Carp Tower do too. But he’ll show them! He'll show all of them one day!
"I don't want to play with them," he tells the servant snobbishly, turning his nose up at her. "I have other things to do— important things to do."
"Of course, young master," the servant says indulgently.
"I have a mission," Jin Ling tries again, trying his best to convey the gravity of his situation. "It's a really important mission. It deals with secret grown-up stuff, so the other children can't come along."
"Of course, young master," the servant says again, and leans down to pat his head.
"What would you do," Jin Ling begins in the middle of his calligraphy lesson the next day, "if you were stuck in a sealed room? Suppose you could steal one item from your captor to trick the wards into letting you go, what would you steal?"
His tutor blinks, and then sets down her brush. She's rather less strict than his arithmetic tutor, so she seems to actually consider his question for a moment, before speaking.
"Well," she says, "that would depend, wouldn't it? Not all wards are alike, young master. Some wards bar entry. Some bar exit, and some bar both entry and exit. Some are designed to admit only certain people, while others are designed to admit those carrying specific charmed items."
"What kind of charmed items?" Jin Ling asks eagerly.
"Well, at the Cloud Recesses, for example," she says, "you'll require a jade token to both enter and exit the premises, so if you wanted to escape the Cloud Recesses, you’d have to steal a token. If the sealed room in question is designed to recognize people, however, not things, then you’d have to take your captor hostage to pass through the wards."
Crap.
“But how do you tell what kind of seal is on a room?!" Jin Ling asks frantically.
At that, his tutor just chuckles.
“That," she says, "is above your skill level, young master.”
She raps him on the knuckles with the back of her brush.
"But if you pay attention in your calligraphy classes," she continues, with a little wink, "you may one day learn how to recognize talismans — so let's get back to that, shall we?"
The afternoon finds him sitting, once more, on the wooden deck outside the sealed room, staring up at the doors. There’s no plausible way he can take Jiujiu hostage to get inside the room, not when the whole point was getting in without letting Jiujiu know. Besides, Jiujiu is away again, and who knows when he'll be back.
At that thought, he can't help but feel a little morose.
When Jiujiu is around, Jin Ling can at least quietly entertain himself in a corner of Jiujiu's study as he works, or else play in the courtyard outside. Jiujiu will usually keep his study doors open to watch him, so Jin Ling will still be able to see him inside, working quietly on his documents. Without Jiujiu around, however, the days are long and the family residence endlessly quiet.
After a shichen of sitting alone in the courtyard, he finally caves, and goes wandering out of the family residence. Servants and disciples walk alone or in pairs, conversing quietly with one another, or else heading briskly off to conduct their business for the day. Where they recognize him, they greet him with curtsies or clasped hands, but mostly, they just leave him be.
As he approaches the back of the compound, the sounds of a commotion draw his attention. It seems to be coming from the kitchens, so he approaches the building curiously, peering around the corner to see the chef kicking a group of disciples out of the kitchen, furious.
They are the four disciples from Jin Ling's age bracket, the ones who would not play with him.
"Sneaking in through the window like thieves in the night!" she cries. "Oh, if you'd stolen a sweet or two, that would be fine— but you've toppled a whole pot! Now I'll have to make the soup from scratch all over again! Why, I—"
She turns around, looking for her broom, picking it up and brandishing it furiously. While she had been turned away, however, the four disciples had taken the opportunity to escape. They sprint around the corner, laughing and squealing, as the chef throws her slipper after them.
Jin Ling feels a slight pang in his chest at the sight, but after a moment, he just rolls his eyes, and turns away. He’s above such antics, of course. He can entertain himself, and in much more sophisticated ways than they can.
He doesn’t need them.
With a flick of his ponytail, he turns and heads back for the family residence. Halfway through the courtyard, however, he falters to a slow halt, struck by a sudden burst of inspiration.
A window, he realizes.
He just needs a window.
He heads back to the family residence at a run, but instead of entering through the main doors, he follows the outer walls of the residence. Before too long, however, he comes up against the banks of the lotus lake surrounding the back of the house.
Of course, he realizes then.
The sealed room is beside his own, so like his own room, the outer wall must be overlooking the lake. He can't climb in from the ground, like those disciples had done in the kitchen, but—
Calm and composed, he tells himself before he can get too excited.
He returns to his bedroom, and calmly opens his window. As expected, there is a window into the room beside his — a window into the sealed room. He just needs to climb out of his own window and shimmy over to the other side.
Easier said than done, he soon realizes, body squeezed halfway out the window— especially when both windows overlook a pond . Still, he is the heir to Lanling Jin and Yunmeng Jiang. Nothing so trivial as a lotus pond will stop him from achieving the impossible!
He is still balanced over the window ledge when the doors to his bedroom opens.
“A-Ling, I'm back, and I've brought—“
Jiujiu.
He overbalances in his fright, and tips right over the ledge and into the water, headfirst. His body makes a tremendous splash as he hits the water. It takes him a moment to reorient himself after that, and then his head breaks the surface of the lake as he begins to kick and paddle furiously. Before he can even fully process what had happened, however, a hand is hoisting him up by the back of his collar like a drowned kitten.
“A-Ling?!”
Jiujiu’s concerned (and irritated) eyes come into view as Jin Ling is dragged back in through the window.
“What were you doing perched in the window like that?!" Jiujiu scolds. "That was dangerous!”
“I was—“ Jin Ling splutters, fishing desperately for an excuse, and finding none, he just puffs himself up defensively— “None of your business!”
Jiujiu raises both eyebrows— both! and that’s how Jin Ling knows he’s in for a lecture.
He shuts his eyes and braces for impact.
It is only after his uncle has exited his room, following the mother of all lectures on respect and also the common sense not to climb out of windows, that he realizes why his uncle had come into his room in the first place.
A plate of freshly cut watermelons sits on his desk.
For the next three weeks, he goes back to his usual schedule, spending his afternoons after classes happily doing his homework or doodling in Jiujiu's study, going out to play in the courtyard when he gets bored of sitting.
Jiujiu watches from his desk, quietly working on his documents. When Jin Ling begins jumping around with a large branch, movements half-inspired by the forms he has begun learning during group trainings, Jiujiu calls out amused corrections to his form.
"I was just playing," Jin Ling says snootily.
"Alright," Jiujiu says, "but your right flank is still open."
If Jin Ling begins to practice his forms in his bedroom every morning after that, Jiujiu doesn't need to know. His form improves, day by day, and there comes a day he executes a neat spinning kick, landing in a low crouch, and looks up into Jiujiu's study to see him smiling.
The days are long with training, with practice, and with lessons. At night, he collapses right into bed, and is usually asleep before his head hits the pillow. He's a pretty deep sleeper, but there is one night that he’s startled awake by the sound of something falling in the room beside his own.
There's a clatter, and then a low curse— Jiujiu’s voice, he realizes through the haze of sleep— and that brings him all the way to full consciousness.
Jiujiu is in the sealed room.
He immediately sits up in bed, pressing his ear against the wall, and waits with his heart in his throat.
For a long moment, all he can hear is the sound of his own heartbeat, pounding in his ears. Then, finally— he hears the drag of wood against wood. A drawer being opened, he realizes. Items clatter dully, and then the drawer slides back shut. After that come the sounds of shuffling footsteps, the sounds of Jiujiu moving slowly around the room. Occasionally, he hears the sound of something being moved.
Nothing else.
No dark mutterings.
No sharpening of blades.
No tell-tale sound of footsteps heading down stone steps, as if into a secret basement.
It— honestly just sounds like Jiujiu is tidying up in there.
But even secret torture chambers need tidying up sometimes, Jin Ling reasons to himself, as do secret forbidden libraries! All secret chambers need to be tidied up at some point, and if it’s a chamber so secret that a servant can’t do it, then, well, you'd probably have to do it yourself, wouldn't you?
Still, though, that’s… really boring.
And so, after a moment, Jin Ling rolls over, and goes right back to sleep.
The next day, Jiujiu comes out of his study as Jin Ling practices his forms in the courtyard.
"I'll be leaving on important sect business tomorrow," he says. "I don't know when I'll be back."
Jin Ling's heart falls, but after a moment, he just raises his chin.
“Didn’t you just come back?” he asks.
Jiujiu sighs.
“Yes," he says, "but that’s not how this works, A-Ling. They always say trouble comes in threes.”
Jin Ling huffs, turning around, and jabbing the stick violently into the dirt.
“You can do whatever you like," he mutters. "I don’t care.”
Jiujiu pauses.
“A-Ling,” he begins warningly. “Do not take that tone with me.”
Jin Ling can feel tears prickling at his eyes.
“Whatever," he mutters, tossing the stick aside, and going to sit on the stone bench on the opposite side of the courtyard.
He does not turn back around, and after a moment, he hears Jiujiu sigh, before going back into his study. Holding back angry tears, he lays back on the bench, and closes his eyes.
When he next stirs, it is dark. The moon is out in the night sky, and the cicadas are singing.
He is being carried, held against a strong chest, with his cheek resting against a broad shoulder. He realizes, with a start, that he must have fallen asleep at the bench.
Jiujiu is carrying him to bed.
Jin Ling keeps perfectly silent, keeps perfectly still. Jiujiu breathes, deep and even, in that strange, unshakeable way of his. He's supporting Jin Ling with one hand under his bottom, the other hand smoothing firmly up and down his back.
As they pass the sealed room, however, he stops suddenly. He just stands there for a long moment, before finally, he lets out a shaky exhale.
"If you were here," he whispers, "you'd know what to do, wouldn't you?"
There is no answer.
"You'd probably be better than me," Jiujiu continues, after a moment, "even at this."
There is still no answer.
After a moment, Jiujiu breathes in slowly, and exhales again.
Then, he lifts Jin Ling more securely against his front, and continues walking.
Jiujiu leaves the next day.
In the days that follow, Jin Ling tries various ways of getting to the window of the sealed room. While the other children run off to play, he sets off on his solo mission, his important mission that’s of course much more important than— shooting kites, or— chasing peasants, or— any of those boring, childish things, really.
He tries climbing from his own window a few more times, cursing that his seven-year-old wingspan is simply not wide enough to reach the next window ledge from his own window ledge. He falls into the water every time, and is frustrated to find that the sill is always a little too high to reach from the water. He has to swim back around the residence after every attempt, climb up the bank, and go back into the building again.
After falling into the lake several times, he finally tires of getting wet, and decides to try something else instead. He spends some time thinking about it, and with a burst of inspiration, decides to try lowering himself from the roof instead. Unfortunately, there’s nothing solid enough on the roof to secure a rope to, so that doesn't work either.
Finally, he begins knocking over the roof tiles, hoping to find a loose tile he can break in through, but there are none. The roof tiles are all solidly fixed down. He supposes it would be pretty dangerous if they weren’t. They could fall down and land on someone. But still, it’s annoying!
He soon resorts to trying to poke through any gaps in the ornate doorframe, but it’s impossible, even when he uses a thin but sharp pair of scissors. The doors are probably reinforced with wards and talismans. Jin Ling’s doors are too. With how paranoid Jiujiu is about possible attempts on Jin Ling's life, there’s no way he would allow these doors to be poked through so easily. Personally, Jin Ling thinks that all the paranoia is unnecessary, but he supposes it’s still better safe than sorry.
On the third day, Jiujiu returns unexpectedly in the morning, just as Jin Ling is leaving for training. Jin Ling is elated , of course, trotting after him as he enters his study.
"Are you done with your sect business?" he asks eagerly. "How long will you be back for?"
Jiujiu opens a drawer, rummaging through it.
"I'm just back to get something," he says. "I'll be leaving again after lunch."
He seems to find what he's looking for then, pulling out a letter from the drawer, and slotting it into his robes. He turns around to face Jin Ling, and pauses.
“Don’t you have training?” he asks.
Jin Ling hesitates for a moment.
"I'm skipping training today," he decides.
A moment later, he realizes that saying it was probably a bad idea, because Jiujiu's face is darkening with disapproval now.
"You should not be skipping your training," Jiujiu says coldly.
Jin Ling had been hoping to spend some time with Jiujiu instead, before he has to leave in the afternoon, but it seems like Jiujiu doesn't want to spend time with him.
“I’ve been working hard," he complains. "I can rest for one day, can’t I?”
Jiujiu frowns.
“Working hard is not enough," he says. "Show me that you’ve accomplished something. Otherwise, don’t get complacent.”
“Fine!" Jin Ling snaps. "You’re so annoying sometimes, Jiujiu. You really are.”
Grabbing his practice sword, he heads off for practice in a foul mood.
The hours feel like years as he follows the drills that their trainer takes them through. He moves somewhat absently, thoughts elsewhere as he thrusts and swings his sword. They are only reviewing the forms they've already been taught, and he'd been practicing so much that he could do them in his sleep anyway.
Towards the end of training, however, the trainer startles, and quickly begins to usher them to stand in straight lines.
"Sect Leader," he greets, with a dip of his head, seeming vaguely nervous. "I was not aware you'd be dropping in today."
In general, Jiujiu only drops in to watch the senior disciples. Jin Ling knows he teaches the adult disciples personally, but doesn't usually observe training for the youngest disciples.
"Right," the trainer says, turning back to them after a moment. "Right, since Sect Leader is here today, let's pair off. Instead of revision, we are going to do some sparring."
They quickly begin to pair off. As Jin Ling sinks down into a ready stance, he notes that the trainer isn't the only nervous one. The disciple he's facing off against, the youngest of the disciples in his age bracket, looks apprehensive, continually shooting looks in Jiujiu's direction.
"Ready?" the trainer calls. "Begin!"
After the first round is done, they change partners, and try again. Jin Ling puts in his absolute utmost, beating everyone he spars with. By his fourth successful match, their trainer is looking surprised, but delighted.
It seems that he's also noticed the way Jiujiu is watching him like a hawk.
"Alright, let's pause here for a second," he says, before they can swap partners again. "It seems Young Master Jin is doing very well today, so let's up the stakes, shall we? I want to see Young Master Jin square off against someone in the age bracket above."
He turns around.
"Luo Qi," he calls. "Come here."
The group from the age bracket above them had just been about to switch partners again, but at the trainer's call, they pause. After a moment, an older boy comes forward, clasping his hands behind him in a neat, martial salute.
"Ah, but Trainer Lin!" cries the youngest from Jin Ling's age bracket. "Luo-shixiong formed his golden core last month!"
That means that this is going to be a tough match.
Jiujiu has risen from his seat on the dais, and is watching from the sheltered walkway next to them. Gritting his teeth, Jin Ling grips his practice sword a little tighter, before lifting his chin.
"I'm willing to try," he says.
The other boy, Luo Qi, nods. They both sink into ready stances, and after a moment, Trainer Lin announces the start of the match.
The first impression Jin Ling gets— is that Luo Qi is strong. Very strong. Each swing of his practice sword jars hard against Jin Ling's own, setting his teeth clacking. As he staggers backwards at one of the swings, he finds himself beginning to panic.
This must be what it's like to fight against someone with a golden core. Luo Qi is faster than him, stronger than him, and—
And he always leaves his right flank open.
As Jin Ling meets Luo Qi's next swing, he exerts all of his strength, pushing forward with a loud cry. He feels something twinge in his side, but Luo Qi is staggering back, looking surprised. As Luo Qi raises his sword, beginning to prepare for his next strike, Jin Ling lunges forward, bringing his practice sword in from the side.
He gentles the blow before it can impact— tapping it lightly against Luo Qi's right flank.
There's a moment of silence, before suddenly, the disciples around him begin to clap. The youngest in his age bracket, the one he'd first gone up against, is practically rising up on his toes with the force of his excitement, and after a moment, Luo Qi's surprised expression melts into an embarrassed, yet impressed smile. He cups his hands, offering Jin Ling a martial salute. This time, he bows deeper than before.
"Alright!" Trainer Lin calls. "You've all done extremely well today, but it is time for lunch now. Can I have you all in rows again?"
At Jin Ling's first step, he feels that twinge in his side again. He grits his teeth as he limps quietly into place, trying his best not to let his pain show. He eyes Jiujiu, standing at the front, as Trainer Lin debriefs them for the day.
"You've all shown remarkable progress," Trainer Lin finishes after a moment, before he laughs. "If only you all wanted to impress me as much as you want to impress Sect Leader. Why, you'd all be immortals before you know it!"
Finally, he turns to Jiujiu.
"Would you like to say a few words, Sect Leader?" he asks.
Jiujiu nods, and steps forward. Jin Ling straightens up. He can't help but hope that Jiujiu will say something about him, will acknowledge his win in some way.
“I will be leaving Lotus Pier for some time," is all Jiujiu says. "I hope you will continue to train this hard even when I’m not around.”
He nods curtly, and says nothing more.
Disappointed, Jin Ling turns away. As the disciples disperse, he begins to stomp off in the direction of his rooms. Behind him, he can hear the four disciples in his age bracket talking excitedly about shooting kites. It's good weather for it, they say.
"A-Ling," Jiujiu calls out.
Folding his arms, Jin Ling turns around. Jiujiu steps forward, clicking his tongue.
"You shouldn’t have overstretched yourself with that final blow," he says sternly. "Go and see the doctor about that injury, and take it easy for the next week."
"I'm not injured," Jin Ling denies immediately. "What made you think that?"
Jiujiu raises an eyebrow.
"Because you're going back to your room to nurse your Injuries instead of joining the others to play?" he points.
Flustered, Jin Ling turns up his nose.
"I'm not nursing any injuries!" he declares sharply. "I just have more important things to do than playing silly games for children, that’s all!"
With a flick of his ponytail, he turns and stalks angrily out of the training square.
Jiujiu is gone again by evening. The next day, however, Jin Ling is surprised by the glares the four disciples in his age group shoot his way as he arrives for training. He'd sparred with them the day before, and they'd been alright then. The youngest who'd cheered him on so enthusiastically refuses to even look at him.
The day's training passes in stony silence, but after they are dismissed for the day, the four of them follow him as he heads back for his rooms.
“So you have more important things to do, huh?” one of them prods. “What kind of important things?”
Jin Ling has no idea what their problem is, but he's not inclined to be charitable when they've been glaring at him all morning. They've stopped outside the family residence, so Jin Ling turns, and points.
"I'm trying to get into that room," he tells them, and turns his nose up. "It's an important mission. The door is sealed."
They scoff.
“Right, how important!”
Jin Ling bristles.
“I don’t expect you to understand how important this is," he says.
“No, we wouldn’t understand," the youngest spits. "We only play silly games for children.”
Oh, so that's what this is about? Really?
“Are you done?" Jin Ling finally snaps, losing his temper. "This is the Jiang family residence. Are you a Jiang by blood? No? Then please get out!”
The four of them recoil.
"You really are an ass, aren’t you?” the oldest says bitterly. “Fine then, you can be uppity by yourself."
With a last backward glare, they leave.
From then on, however, trainings become a bit of a nightmare.
"So have you finished your important mission yet?" they prod at the end of the week.
"What's inside the room?" they ask the week after.
It's always frustrating, being unable to answer them. In Jiujiu's absence, the family residence feels lonelier than before. The children at Carp Tower have always been hostile, but being at Lotus Pier had always been alright, even if no one ever invited him to play. Now, however, it seems like those four are determined to be upset at him.
With nothing to do, he sets about trying to get into the sealed room with renewed vigor. He goes up onto the roof every single day, tapping on the same tile for hours on end, hoping to knock it loose. The tile refuses to budge even after days of tapping, and he finally figures that it isn't just a matter of the tiles being fixed securely. The roof must be reinforced with wards and talismans as well, just like the doors.
Of course. Jiujiu has always been so paranoid about potential assassination attempts. Why would any room in the family residence be that easy to break into?
Eventually, summer draws to a close, and Jin Ling has to return to Carp Tower for the fall. He won't be able to work on the sealed room until he returns in the spring, but he can take the autumn and winter to think about it.
As he packs up to leave, however, he can't help but look towards Jiujiu's study one last time.
Jiujiu had not returned in time to see him leave.
After a moment, he tosses his pack angrily over his shoulder, and storms out of the courtyard. It's alright. He doesn't need Jiujiu, and he doesn't need friends! The other children look down on him, but once he gets into the sealed room, he’ll show them!
He'll show Jiujiu too. He'll get stronger, and Jiujiu will be forced to acknowledge him then.
The autumn in Carp Tower is a nightmare, as it always is. The children at Yunmeng are too afraid of Jiujiu to say much to him, but Xiao-shu doesn't have the same iron-fisted style of rule, so the children here are more daring. The children here bully him openly, sneering, jeering, and even shoving him. Jin Chan and his band of bullies are the worst. They always gang up on Jin Ling in fights.
And so, while the other children play, Jin Ling retreats to his room to write in his notebook. He writes down all his plans for the sealed room, and his speculations about its contents. He fills the pages, also, with all kinds of doodles. He spends hours training, practicing sword forms and the other cultivation methods he's been taught. Since he'd left Lotus Pier, he'd doubled the time he'd spent practicing, and by the time winter arrives, his efforts pay off.
He forms his core in the first week of winter, and his trainer is elated. She praises him in front of his entire cohort, telling him that he's the youngest in his batch to form a core. He soaks it up desperately, but as he turns to face his audience, he notices the faces of his fellow disciples darkening with jealousy.
As he returns to his rooms after the training session, Jin Chan and his gang catch him alone in one of the courtyards.
"You're clearly faking it for the attention," Jin Chan spits. "Let's see if you can beat us in a fight then. I don't believe you've actually formed a core."
They surround him threateningly, before beginning to come at him altogether. Jin Ling still has his practice sword with him, which he uses to fend them off. With all the hours spent practicing, the movements come to him naturally now.
It is the first time— the very first time he manages to fight them all off, and when he has them all lying on the ground, groaning, joy rushes through him, bringing a wild grin to his face.
“I won,” he tells them triumphantly.
After a moment, the other children manage to collect themselves enough to stand. They retreat across the courtyard from him.
"So?" Jin Chan mutters.
"So it means that I’m stronger than you!” Jin Ling cries. “It means that you must respect me now!"
They begin to laugh.
"So what if you're stronger?" one of them spits. "So what if you've formed a core earlier than everyone else? This sort of unpleasant person— You had a mother to birth you, but no mother to raise you. Even if people respect you for your accomplishments, no one will ever want to be your friend!"
They stalk off to nurse their injuries.
Jin Ling returns to his rooms after that. There's a strange ringing in his ears, a strange numbness in his hands. After a moment, he shoves his desk violently over. He lets out a scream, and kicks over the vase behind his bed. He begins to smash and throw everything in his sight, ripping the curtains down from his window, and throwing the covers off his bed. When everything is in tatters, he sits down on the floor, and begins to bawl his eyes out.
Before too long, the door opens, and Xiao-shu pokes his head in.
"A-Ling?" he calls. "What did your room do to offend you, A-Ling?"
Jin Ling grabs the small vase next to him, and hurls it in his uncle's direction. It smashes into the wall right beside the door.
"Aiyo," Xiao-shu says. "I'm so scared now. Alright, I'll leave you alone."
He closes the door, and retreats out into the courtyard.
Jin Ling cries himself to sleep that night, and the next morning, he skips training to lie in bed. The servants come and go, asking him to come out for breakfast, then eventually asking him to come out for lunch, but he refuses to leave the room. Nearing dinner time, however, he hears footsteps outside his room again.
"Go away!" he shouts.
There's a moment of silence, before he hears a small, high-pitched bark.
Suddenly curious, he stands up, and finally goes to open the door. Xiao-shu is crouched outside, a puppy held in his arms. It's an adorable thing, covered in black fur, but with a white face and white paws. It looks up at Jin Ling with wide round eyes.
“I found this little thing," Xiao-shu says, with a smile, "but I have no idea what to name her! A-Ling, do you want to help me name her?”
Jin Ling stands there for a moment, before he steps back, leaving the door open. Xiao-shu follows him into the room, setting the puppy down. As Jin Ling settles down to pet her, Xiao-shu seats himself on the floor beside him, sighing.
"Sometimes," he says quietly, "people will dislike you for circumstances you can’t control. No matter how nice you are to them, they will look down on you. When you’ve accomplished great things, they will resent you."
Jin Ling bites his lip, feeling tears beginning to prickle at his eyes.
"Disregard those people," Xiao-shu continues, after a moment. "There’s very little you can do about people like that. They are nothing more than the mud under your boots as you stride towards greatness, and you should treat them as such. There are rare people, however, who will accept you no matter who you are. Reserve your loyalty for those people and keep them close to your side."
He smiles, and nods down at the puppy.
"This is not a normal dog," he says. "This is a spiritual dog. One day, I hope she will be one of those standing by your side, supporting you on your path to greatness."
Jin Ling looks down at the puppy. After a moment, he picks her up carefully, and hugs her to his chest. Her tail begins to wag, thumping repeatedly against his side. Beside him, Xiao-shu smiles, before reaching down to unhook a sword from his waist. Jin Ling notices, for the first time, that he's carrying a second sword.
"This," he says, holding it out to Jin Ling, "was your father's sword, Suihua."
He puts it in Jin Ling's lap, and pats the hilt.
"Now that you've formed your core," he says, "I thought it was the right time to hand it over."
For the next few days, Jin Ling stays in his room with only the puppy for company. He decides, on the second day, to name her Fairy. He spends most of his days in bed after that, not having the motivation to do anything— not even working on the sealed room.
Even if he manages to find out what’s in it, so what? It’s not like it’ll make the other children like him. Xiao-shu was right. They will only resent him for his accomplishments. He'd formed his core, but instead of respecting him, instead of wanting to be his friend, it only made them hate him more.
Fairy is a big comfort to him in his misery. She's a smart dog. Despite her young age, she's clearly able to tell that he's upset, and is eager to make him feel better, cuddling up against his side, and occasionally climbing on top of him to lick his face.
Well, he can't help but reflect, at least Fairy likes him, right?
She licks his face again, drawing a laugh from him. He cheers up a little as her tail begins to swish along his chest.
Xiao-shu is right. He should just forget all those unimportant people. He has Fairy now! That's enough.
That has to be enough.
He resumes his training again the next day, holding his chin up high even as the other children sneer at him. In the afternoons, aside from practicing his forms, he spends hours training Fairy to do tricks and accomplish simple tasks like retrieving his sword, opening doors and windows, and fetching items at command. One day, she will be his right-hand dog, his closest and most trusted subordinate!
She lags under the weight of his sword, little legs stumbling over the grass, tail wagging fiercely.
… And also the cutest.
He has begun taking Suihua out to train with, usually keeping it in its sheath to avoid cutting himself or hurting anyone. After he'd formed his core, they'd started reaching him a new set of training exercises along with the old, mostly learning to do things with his cultivation. Flying is one of those things.
In his imaginings, he can't help but think of how he might one day need to run from a mighty foe, jumping up on his sword and soaring loftily away. When that day comes, Fairy will need to be ready to escape too! He takes to balancing on his sheathed sword in the courtyard outside his room, trying to train Fairy to jump up onto it.
Thoroughly distracted as he flies slowly across the courtyard, encouraging her to jump up onto his sword, he ends up crashing through the window of a storeroom. Afterwards, he picks Fairy up and looks over her frantically, but she is unhurt, her tail wagging happily. As he sighs, however, gloomily considering the broken window frame and the scolding he will no doubt get later, he is hit by a sudden spark of inspiration.
Now that he has his core, he'll be able to fly into the window of the sealed room!
He spends the rest of the winter vibrating with excitement, awaiting his return to Lotus Pier with anticipation. Luckily, winter draws to a close in the next two weeks, and Jin Ling finds himself packing up to return to Yunmeng.
On his first day back, he arrives just in time for the morning training session. Trainer Lin is eager to see him, having apparently received a letter from his trainer back at Carp Tower, informing him of Jin Ling's progress. Trainer Lin has bumped him up to train with the older disciples now that he’s formed his core.
"The rest of you should take it as a sign to train harder!" he announces. "If you do, maybe you'll be able to form your cores early, just like Young Master Jin."
Jin Ling is in an excellent mood for the rest of the training session. He's been bumped up to train with new disciples, so he's no longer stuck training with the four who hate him, and he'd been praised by the trainer in front of everyone. He can't wait to see Jiujiu after the training session, can't wait to tell Jiujiu of his progress!
He thinks that Jiujiu will be proud.
At the end of the training session, however, his good mood is shattered as Trainer Lin calls them over for the debriefing.
"Please continue to work hard!" he says. "When Sect Leader returns from his trip, he will want to see your progress again. Don't disappoint him!"
Jin Ling's heart falls as he realizes that Jiujiu is away— again. He can’t help but feel bitter about that. Jin Ling is only here for half the year, and Jiujiu can’t even be bothered to be around while he’s here?
The moment Trainer Lin dismisses them for the day, he strides angrily off to brood. It feels like the older Jin Ling gets, the less time he has to spend with Jiujiu between his lessons, training, and Jiujiu's errands. A troubling thought occurs to him then — maybe Jiujiu is growing tired of him now that he’s no longer a babbling toddler, now that he’s angry and disagreeable and full of demands?
As he rounds the corner towards the family residence, someone calls out to him from behind. He turns to see that the four disciples have caught up to him.
"How's the important mission going?" the youngest asks, and rolls his eyes. "Have you finished it yet?"
Jin Ling flares up.
"I'm off to finish it now!" he snaps. "I've found a way into the room. Not that it's any of your business."
He turns around and heads into the family residence. Fairy immediately comes trotting across the courtyard towards him, yipping happily with her tail wagging furiously. His bad mood immediately evaporates.
"Come on, Fairy!" he cries. "We have a room to break into!"
He quickly heads into his room to grab Suihua from its stand, before running out to the lotus lake. Balancing carefully on his sword, he flies around to the back of the residence, hovering over the lake.
He is disappointed to find that the window into the sealed room has an ornate frame screen over it. There’s an octagon in the middle, but it’s too small for him to squeeze through. Even worse, when he peers in through the window, there’s a translucent curtain a few feet away, blocking him from seeing beyond them. He sticks his arm into the window after that, but he cannot reach far enough to push the curtains aside.
Frustrated, he returns to his own room and sits there for the rest of the day, hugging Fairy moodily.
The next day, he leaves training just short of a run, but it seems the four other disciples have no compunctions about being seen running after him. They catch up with him before he can disappear into the family residence.
"So what was in the room?” the youngest asks, half-taunting but also, it seems, half-curious.
“Yeah, didn’t you say you found a way in?” another one prods.
"I did!" Jin Ling blusters. "But what's inside is a secret, so I can't tell you what it is."
The other four trade looks, before they begin to laugh.
“If you can’t find a way in, just say it!" one of them laughs.
“What’s the point of being so proud?” another agrees.
“Just because you’re a real Jiang, you look down on the rest of us," the youngest says bitterly. “Lying is not the Jiang way, though."
"I bet it’s the Jin blood," the oldest mutters.
"Go away!" Jin Ling explodes, and they do so, laughing.
He returns to his room, and buries his face in Fairy's coat. After a moment, he punches the bed.
So what if finding a way into the room won’t make them like him? He doesn’t need to be liked. Plenty of people dislike Jiujiu, but they fear and respect him anyway. Jin Ling just has to prove them all wrong. He just has to accomplish so much that they'll all fear and respect him too! He doesn’t need to be liked. He just needs to be feared.
Now that he's formed his core, his calligraphy teacher has begun teaching him some basic talismans. He manages to wheedle her into lending him some books, and he begins to look up talismans for undoing wards, enlarging entrances, or shrinking persons. His research, however, does not bear fruit.
To undo any ward, his spiritual power has to exceed that of the caster, but Jiujiu probably warded the sealed room himself. Talismans that would warp the window frame would also destroy it, ruling that option out if he wants his intrusion to go undetected. Spells for shrinking people are all demonic cultivation, and he would never go down that path— never.
The next week, he hears the sound of some commotion as he heads back to the family residence from training.
"Sect Leader is back!" he hears one of the older disciples crying out. "Shixiong said they had to clear out an entire den of Yiling Patriarch imitators this time. They'd been kidnapping people to experiment on, so the clean up was an absolute nightmare—"
Jin Ling tunes out the rest, breaking into a run.
"Fairy!" he calls excitedly, as he reaches the family residence. "Come on! Jiujiu is back!"
Dropping his training gear off in his room, he runs out towards the front gates with Fairy in tow. He finds Jiujiu in the courtyard just outside the entrance, flanked by senior disciples. They are all looking rather solemn, but Jiujiu's eyes soften as A-Ling comes running.
"Jiujiu!" he screams.
"A-Ling," he rasps.
Fairy comes bounding through the door at that moment, having finally managed to catch up with Jin Ling. She rushes forward, barking excitedly at the sight of so many new faces, tail wagging happily behind her.
Jiujiu's face goes blank for a moment.
Then, suddenly, he loses it.
“Who the fuck brought a dog in here?!" he screams, looking around for the disciples on guard duty. "Who the fuck thought they could bring a dog in here?! Where are the guards?! Are they asleep?! Chase that thing out immediately! Guards! Guards!”
Bewildered, Jin Ling takes a couple of steps back. Fairy begins to circle his legs nervously, whimpering and whining.
"She's mine," he finally says. "Xiao-shu gave her to me."
“What?!" Jiujiu demands. "No one told me about this. Get rid of it immediately!”
“Fairy hasn’t done anything wrong!" Jin Ling protests. "What don’t you like about her?”
“Don’t ask questions!" Jiujiu snarls. "There haven’t been dogs in Lotus Pier since long before you were born, and there will never be dogs here again! Get rid of it!”
“How could you ask me to send her away?!" Jin Ling shouts. "At least give me a proper reason!”
Jiujiu steps forward.
“You want a reason?!" he spits. "Here’s your reason: stop wasting your time on useless animals, and spend more time cultivating!”
“Fairy is not useless, and I have been cultivating!" Jin Ling protests. "I formed my golden core while you were away!”
“So just because you’ve formed your core now, you think you can slack off?!" Jiujiu demands. "Do you know that Wei Wuxian formed his golden core an entire year younger than you? Do you know that at your age, Wei Wuxian had not just formed a core, he'd begun escaping Lotus Pier to hunt water ghouls for fun?!"
He strides furiously forward, and Jin Ling finds himself taking several steps back, alarmed.
"So you think you’re ahead of the curve!" Jiujiu cries, practically spitting with rage. "Let me tell you this: even if you give every single hour of your every single day, even if you expend everything you have trying to reach the top— there is always going to be someone more talented who is going to be effortlessly better than you! You think you have time to slack off?! You don’t!"
He reaches down and grabs Fairy by the collar.
"Now give me the damn dog!"
At first, she growls at him, baring her teeth and sitting back on her haunches.
“Down!” Jiujiu snarls.
She recoils, whining and clearly terrified, as he grabs her collar and begins to pull her towards the gates.
“Stop it!” Jin Ling screams, grabbing his arm and running after him. “What is wrong with you?! You’re scaring her!”
“Don’t argue with me!" Jiujiu shouts. "Go to your room!”
“Why are you being like this?!" Jin Ling shrieks. "Fairy hasn’t done anything to you! She’s just a puppy!”
Jiujiu tries to pull his arm away, but Jin Ling clings tight.
“Stop it, A-Ling! Just stop it!" Jiujiu snaps. "You’re only a child and you don’t understand. I’m only doing this for your own good!”
“No! You’re! Not!”
He slams both fists against Jiujiu's chest with all of his strength. Unexpectedly, Jiujiu is knocked back by the blow, landing on the floor with a shocked cry. He looks up at Jin Ling, stunned.
With some shock, Jin Ling realizes that he must have used spiritual power in that punch— a lot of spiritual power, judging by Jiujiu's reaction.
He takes a step backwards.
He’s done it now. He’s gone and actually hit Jiujiu. Now Jiujiu definitely hates him. Now he’ll definitely be kicked out of Lotus Pier. He’ll be sent back to Carp Tower, and Xiao-shu will probably take Fairy away.
Tears begin to fall from his eyes.
“You just dislike me,” he whispers miserably.
Jiang Cheng recoils.
“A-Ling—” he begins.
“You don’t even bother to be here when I’m around anymore," Jin Ling accuses, dashing away his tears, but they are suddenly flowing faster than he can stop, “and when you’re here, you chase me away! You dislike me. Just admit it. Everyone does. Fairy is the only one who doesn’t, and now you’re going to send her away. You know, you’re really hateful, Jiujiu. Even if you dislike me now, even if you can’t stand to be around me, can’t you leave me with just one person who loves me?!”
He can no longer see through his tears, can barely speak through the sobs.
“I wish I had never been born," he whispers. "At least if I died, I wouldn’t be stuck with you!”
Finally, he turns and runs off, sobbing hysterically. As he runs, he catches sight of the other four disciples through his tears, but they just stare on, too shocked to say anything. He shoves past them, and sprints blindly towards the family residence.
He begins to pack the moment he reaches his rooms. Jiujiu is going to kick him out, but Jin Ling still has dignity. He will go back to Carp Tower before Jiujiu can kick him out. No— he’ll run away! No one at Carp Tower cares either. Only Fairy does, and if he goes back, they’ll take her from him. So he’ll bring Fairy with him and run somewhere far, far away. He’ll become a rogue cultivator, and when he’s famous and powerful, he’ll return and show them all!
He continues to pack, determined to follow through with his plan. But as he swings his pack over his shoulder, he suddenly freezes.
Fairy!
He’s left her outside!
If Jiujiu gets to her, he will probably throw her out. No, if he’s angry enough, he might even kill her!
He picks up Suihua, stuffs it into his pack, and throws the door open.
“Fairy!" he shouts. "Fairy!”
To his surprise, he hears distressed barking coming from somewhere near. For some reason, it sounds like it's coming from above him. He stops in the doorway.
“Fairy?!" he calls. "Fairy, where are you, girl?!”
He turns around. Fairy is still whining, clearly distressed. The sound is now coming from further back, so he runs back into his room, looking frantically around for her.
Is she hurt?!
Did someone hurt her?!
“I’m coming, Fairy!” he cries. “Where are you? I’m coming!”
Suddenly, he sees something fall outside his window. A moment later, there's a splash, before the whining grows in volume.
He rushes to his window, and immediately spots Fairy struggling in the water. She must have wound up on the roof while trying to evade capture, and had jumped down towards the sound of his voice, only to land in the water! Her little legs are too short to keep her fat body afloat, her head sinking below the water with each desperate paddle.
“I’m coming, girl!" Jin Ling shouts. "Hang on!”
He dives into the water and grabs her blindly, pulling her against his chest. It’s only then that he realizes, too late, that he still has his pack on him. They are sinking!
He kicks frantically, water in his eyes, but with his pack and his clothes weighing him down, and Fairy in his arms, he can barely keep afloat. There’s no way he can reach the bank like this.
He reaches blindly for his window sill.
Too high.
With a desperate burst of spiritual energy, he propels himself upwards using all his strength, and to his relief, he feels his fingers scrabble over the edge of his windowsill. Grabbing it, he uses his free arm to swing Fairy up and over it.
She yelps. A moment later, there’s a thump, followed by the scrabble of her claws, telling him that she made it in. He blindly throws his pack in after her, heart still pounding in his ears at the close call, and wipes the water out of his eyes.
He stiffens as he realizes that he's not clinging to the sill of his window.
This is the window to the sealed room, and he’s thrown both Fairy and his pack into it! She had been small enough to make it through the octagon, and he can hear her barking inside, whining for him. But now, he can’t get to her.
He is struck by a sense of dread.
If Jiujiu finds her in the sealed room—
He swims quickly around the building, scrambles up the bank, and runs back into the family residence.
“Fairy!" he cries. "Fairy!”
As he falls to his knees before the sealed room, he hears her claws scrabbling against the wooden doors.
“Don’t worry, Fairy!" he shouts. "I’m coming for you!”
He doesn't care anymore if Jiujiu finds out that he'd gotten in. If he uses Suihua, he's sure he'll be able to break down the door. As he reaches for his belt, however, he remembers stowing it in his pack.
His pack— which is in the sealed room with Fairy.
His sword is in there. His father’s sword, Suihua, is in there!
He needs to get it back.
He turns to look frantically around the garden for something to bludgeon the door with, when he hears something slam against the other side of the door.
“Fairy?” he calls.
He throws himself against the doors as well, but they do not budge. From the other side, there is another slam, and then a click. The doors give way suddenly beneath his weight, and he falls into the room with a yelp.
A moment later, Fairy begins to jump excitedly around his head, licking his hair. The seal must have been a one-way ward. Fairy had opened the door from the inside.
“Down, Fairy. Down. Let me up.”
Fairy finally lays off, and he sits up. A moment later, he blinks.
This is the sealed room, he realizes then. This is the room he’s been trying to get into for months, but there are no torture racks in here, no shelves of forbidden books, no weapons. It’s not a torture chamber. It’s not a secret library. It's not even a treasure room. It’s—
It’s a bedroom.
It's a perfectly ordinary looking bedroom.
He gets up, slowly, and takes a few hesitant steps forward. There’s a bed at the other end of the room, right by the window. The curtains that had been obscuring the rest of the room are just regular bed-curtains.
He pulls the fabric aside and picks his pack up from where it had fallen. The bed itself is perfectly made, untouched and unmarked save for a strange scribble on the wall opposite the bedhead. It looks like two kissing figures, crudely drawn, and then angrily cancelled out.
He lets the curtains fall back in place, feeling strangely disturbed, and then turns around, casting a slow glance over the room. Everything is clean, dustless, as if someone had been keeping it meticulously clean in anticipation of its occupant’s eventual return. And yet, he knows for a fact that no one has lived here in years.
The only one who still comes in here— is Jiujiu.
Suddenly, he hears the rapid patter of boots from outside, and Jiujiu comes running in, disheveled, his eyes wild and panicked.
“A-Ling—”
He stops on the threshold, staring in disbelief at the wide open doors, as if unsure of what he's seeing. Then finally, his eyes fall to Jin Ling.
Behind Jin Ling, Fairy settles against his ankles, growling low and threatening. Despite her brave front, however, there’s a faint whine to her growls that betrays just how terrified she is.
After a moment, Jiujiu draws in a breath.
“Why are you wet?” he asks, voice strangely quiet.
“Fairy fell into the pond,” Jin Ling answers. “I jumped in to get her.”
Jiujiu’s eyes look him up, and then down, before halting at his shoulders.
“Why are you packed?”
Unconsciously, Jin Ling’s fingers tighten around his bag, still slung over his shoulders.
“I’m leaving,” he says.
Jiujiu breathes in again, closing his eyes.
“No,” he says, very calmly, “you’re not.”
“I am.”
Not opening his eyes, Jiujiu holds out his hand.
“You’re not. Give the bag to me, A-Ling,” he orders, still in that oddly measured tone. “Don’t be difficult.”
“I’m taking Fairy and I’m leaving," Jin Ling says coldly. "You can’t stop me.”
Jiujiu’s breath hitches weirdly.
And for the first time, Jin Ling notices how strangely he has been holding himself since he had come in. His shoulders are drawn together, and hunched in, as if he’s in pain. He’s also been unexpectedly docile the whole time, not shouting, quite unlike what Jin Ling had expected— quite unlike the way he’d been just minutes ago, out in the main entranceway. He’s breathing in small, shallow breaths, like it’s hurting him to do so.
Jin Ling’s eyes widen in sudden realization.
“Did I injure you?!” he gasps.
Jiujiu’s frown deepens, expression turning somewhat confused.
“What?" he says. "No.”
“Then why are you breathing so weirdly?” Jin Ling demands.
At the question, Jiujiu’s face contorts, and he steps forward, reaching suddenly for Jin Ling’s pack. Jin Ling steps swiftly away.
“A-Ling, give me the goddamn pack. You’re not going back to Carp Tower.”
Jin Ling turns his chin up.
“No," he says.
Jiujiu’s breath hitches again.
“A-Ling,” he manages to growl. “Give. Me. The. Bag.”
Somehow, he doesn’t sound even remotely as intimidating as he usually does. His voice is shaking, and Jin Ling clenches his jaw.
“What is this place?” he asks instead.
He sees the flash in Jiujiu’s eyes, the familiar lightning of some internal switch being flipped. He’s seen it a million times. He’d seen it just today, out in the entranceway. Jiujiu swells up thunderously, chest swelling with rage—
Then, just as suddenly—
He deflates.
Like a paper lantern consumed by flames, he seems almost to shrink, crumpling back into himself. A moment later, he pulls a stool out from the table in the middle of the room, and sinks heavily into it. Jin Ling steps forward, alarmed.
It’s far from the first time he’s seen one of Jiujiu’s explosive rages. But this, here, is the first time he’s seen Jiujiu flip from zero to a hundred, only to swing so suddenly down to zero again.
Internal injury, is the first explanation that comes to his mind. Likely in the chest, where Jin Ling had hit him.
After a moment, Jiujiu lowers his face into one hand, looking suddenly as ancient as Jin Ling has always suspected him to be, under all those years of delayed aging. He looks as if all of his years have suddenly decided to drop upon his shoulders unannounced, like all his youth and vitality has been sucked from his body in a single moment. He looks, suddenly and frighteningly— mortal.
“Jiujiu?” Jin Ling calls, striding forward with growing panic. “Jiujiu, what’s the matter? Are you really hurt?”
Jiujiu lets out a strange choked noise. Alarmed, Jin Ling flings himself up against his side and throws his arms around his waist.
“Jiujiu!”
Even while seated, his uncle strikes an imposing figure, heads taller than Jin Ling thinks he will ever be. Yet, in Jin Ling’s fragile little arms, his uncle feels so small. Human-sized, for the first time in Jin Ling’s memory. Human.
It makes him uncomfortable in a way he cannot explain. In his simple seven-year-old mind, Jiujiu had always been a giant, a god amongst men, a figure of legend clothed in mortal skin. He had always seemed invincible, untouchable.
But when Jin Ling reaches out now, curling his small palms around Jiujiu’s bigger, stronger ones, Jiujiu's hands tremble beneath his touch.
“You’re hurt, Jiujiu,” he whispers, stricken. “You’re hurt."
Jiujiu draws a shuddering breath, and swoops down suddenly, scooping Jin Ling up and onto his lap. Jin Ling can count on one hand the number of times Jiujiu has held him like this in recent years, and those scarce incidences have been declining with every summer.
“I’m not hurt, A-Ling,” Jiujiu finally says.
His voice is hoarse.
Jin Ling looks searchingly up into Jiujiu’s face as he pushes Jin Ling’s wet bangs out of his face. With some concern, he notices that Jiujiu’s eyes are watering. His brow is creased, and the corners of his lips are trembling. He’s in pain, a lot of pain, but is trying his hardest not to show it, and Jin Ling is abruptly done with all his pride and pretenses.
He points sternly at Jiujiu’s chest, at the spot he had struck earlier.
“You’re hurting here,” he tells Jiujiu firmly. “You’re just too proud to admit it.”
Jiujiu just stares at him for a moment, before suddenly, he covers his face, laughing strangely. Jin Ling shifts closer with a disconcerted scowl. Jiujiu is behaving very oddly, but Jin Ling is determined to be the bigger person here, and so he just tightens his arms around Jiujiu’s waist.
“I’m sorry I hurt you,” he says solemnly, and hesitates, before burying his face in Jiujiu’s chest. “Do you— Do you still want me here? Even though I hurt you?”
Jiujiu pulls back immediately, eyes still wet and a little red.
“Of course I want you here, A-Ling,” he says indignantly. “I will always want you here. I wanted you long before your mother birthed you, and I wanted you long after she left this earth. If there comes a day, long in the future, when even your stupid dog grows tired of you, I would still want you here!"
Jin Ling’s eyes widen at that.
Jiujiu has never been an expressive person. Jin Ling doesn’t think he’s ever heard Jiujiu say anything like that to anyone before. Abruptly, he feels tears brimming up in his eyes again, and Jiujiu’s arms tighten around him as he sniffles.
“My A-Ling,” Jiujiu whispers hoarsely, pulling Jin Ling into his chest. “My little A-Ling.”
Closing his eyes, Jin Ling plays Jiujiu’s words over and over in his head, savoring them, committing them to memory. As he recalls the words, however, he suddenly pulls back, looking up at Jiujiu with wide eyes.
“Wait—" he splutters. "You said if there comes a day, long in the future, that Fairy grows tired of me… Does that mean...”
Jiujiu sighs.
“Yes," he says tiredly, "you can keep her.”
A grin breaks across Jin Ling’s face. Elated, he throws his arms back around Jiujiu's waist.
“Thank you, Jiujiu!" he cries. “Thank you! I know you hate dogs, but I promise Fairy won’t be a pain. I’ll keep her in check. If you don’t like her, you won’t even have to touch her! She’s very obedient, I promise!”
Jiujiu bounces him playfully on his knee, and Jin Ling yelps. It’s been a long, long time since Jiujiu had last done that. Jin Ling had loved it as a child. There’s a part of him that still finds it thrilling, even though he knows he’s way too old to be bounced on Jiujiu’s knee now.
Jiujiu presses a kiss to the top of his head, speaking gruffly into his hair.
“Who said that I hate dogs?” he mumbles. “I used to keep puppies when I was a boy, you know, even younger than you are now. I had four black dogs.”
“Four?!” Jin Ling screeches, incredulous.
Privately, however, he wonders if Jiujiu would also let him keep four dogs if he asked. To be very honest, Jin Ling isn’t sure if he even wants four dogs. Four seems a little excessive. Why did Jiujiu have so many dogs anyway? Gods, Jiujiu is so weird sometimes. He keeps forgetting that.
He looks up at his uncle, very seriously.
“You know, I’m not sure you ever were a little boy, Jiujiu,” he says gravely. “The older townsfolk all say that you were born an old man. A really weird old man.”
Jiujiu bounces his knee again, harder this time.
“Rascal!”
Squealing, Jin Ling throws his arms around Jiujiu’s neck for balance, and breaks out in delighted laughter.
They sit nestled together as his laughter slowly fades. Eventually, however, Jin Ling feels a furry head bump against his calf, and looks down to find Fairy peering up at them with woeful eyes. He frowns.
“Don’t bother Jiujiu, Fairy,” he hisses. “Don’t you have any sense of self-preservation at all!”
She only gives him an even more woeful look, and begins to whimper piteously. Jin Ling glares sternly at her.
After a few moments of her pitiful whining, however, Jiujiu sighs and reaches down. She recoils sharply from him, but Jiujiu waits patiently, not moving, until she creeps forward to sniff his offered palm. Then, a moment later, she butts her head against him. Jiujiu dutifully begins to scratch behind her ears, and her eyes immediately close. Her head turns to chase his hand, and her tail begins to swish happily along the floor.
Well, that was a quick change of heart. His poor, trusting puppy has absolutely no sense of self-preservation!
Jiujiu harrumphs quietly.
“Stupid dog,” he grumbles.
But he does not pull his scratching fingers away.
The next day, Jiujiu calls Jin Ling into his study before he heads off for his morning training.
"Now that you've formed your core," he says, "let's go on a night hunt tonight, just the two of us, shall we?"
Jin Ling perks up, always happy at the opportunity to spend more time with Jiujiu.
"Yes!" he cries, and Jiujiu smiles.
"Maybe you can start tagging along on my sect errand trips too," he muses, seemingly more to himself than to Jin Ling. "After all, you'll be the sect leader of LanLing Jin one day, and if something ever happened to me, you'll take over Yunmeng Jiang as well. It’s about time you start learning the ropes."
With that, he directs his attention back to Jin Ling.
"Would you like to start learning these things?" he asks seriously. "It would mean that you’ll have less time to play with the other kids. You'd have to follow me on my trips, talk to other sect leaders, and maybe join some of the less dangerous night hunts."
"Sure," Jin Ling immediately agrees.
It’s not fun playing alone when Jiujiu isn’t around anyway.
He goes off for training in high spirits, and once training is over, he practically skips back off to pack for the night's hunt. As he heads back for the family residence, however, the four disciples from his age group catch up with him. He sighs, preparing himself to be heckled once more, but they are looking rather shifty, unable to meet his eyes.
"We're sorry for taunting you," the youngest says miserably. "We were upset that you spoke poorly of us in front of Sect Leader that day, but we didn’t mean to make you feel unwelcome at Lotus Pier!"
"This is your home, after all," another one mutters, "and— well you're right. We aren’t real Jiangs."
"Can we start over?" the oldest pleads. "I'm Jiang Gao. That one over there is Jiang Fei. He's Jiang Shou, and our youngest is Jiang Ai."
"Jiang?" Jin Ling asks blankly.
"We're war orphans," Jiang Gao clarifies, with a strained smile. "Our families died when we were just babies. No one knew what our surnames were, so— Sect Leader gave us his instead."
Jin Ling’s mouth goes dry.
They don't have families. No wonder they were angry when he told them they weren't Jiangs by blood.
"I didn't mean what I said all those times," he says, regretting his words now. "I was just angry. You aren’t anything less for not having parents. This is your home too, and— and I don't actually think your games are childish! In fact, it always look like you have lots of fun!"
The children grin.
"We've been playing together since they were babies," Jiang Shou says, "but we should have thought to invite you along when you started joining us in training."
"From now on, we should always play together!" Jiang Ai declares.
Jin Ling hesitates for a moment.
"Now that I've formed my golden core," he finally says, apologetically, "I think I might be more busy going forward— actually busy this time. Jiujiu wants to start bringing me on his sect errand trips. I'm leaving with him on a night hunt tonight, and then— he mentioned a discussion conference in Qinghe after that, so I might not be back for awhile."
The others look taken aback, and then a little crestfallen.
“Oh," Jiang Ai says glumly.
"I'm sorry," Jin Ling apologizes. "I really do want to play."
"It's okay," Jiang Fei assures him, with a sad smile. "Life as a sect heir must be pretty busy, huh?"
"But hopefully when you're back, we'll all have formed golden cores!" Jiang Ai cries excitedly. "We will be in the same training group after that, so we can train together again!"
Jin Ling smiles at that, and nods.
“I’ll see you at training next time then," he says.
As he turns to head back into the family residence, however, Jiang Gao suddenly calls out to him.
"Oh, yeah," he says. "Did you ever make it into the sealed room?"
"What was inside?" Jiang Ai asks curiously.
Jin Ling hesitates for a moment, before turning back towards them.
"It was a bedroom," he finally says.
The others look a little taken aback.
"A bedroom?" Jiang Ai asks, and after a moment, Jin Ling nods.
"Yeah," he says quietly, before lowering his eyes. "It was a perfectly ordinary bedroom."
Jin Ling is aching from head to toe as they walk down the path that will take them back to the family residence. After fighting fierce corpses for so many hours, he has no energy left to talk, but luckily, it seems that Wei Wuxian is not in a talkative mood either. He's looking down at the stones beneath his feet, seeming strangely pensive.
As they finally arrive outside the family residence, Wei Wuxian stops suddenly in his tracks, looking up at the building with wide eyes.
"What's wrong?" Jin Ling asks, a little alarmed by his reaction.
“It’s the main family residence,” Wei Wuxian says blankly. “I— I thought Jiang Cheng tore it down."
“Why would he do that?" Jin Ling asks, bewildered. "Then where would he sleep?”
After a moment, Wei Wuxian steps forward, peering into the courtyard. His face twitches a little.
“The last time I was here, I passed by the place where the old family residence used to be,” he murmurs absently. "There was a different building there, so I thought— I thought that was the new family residence.”
“Oh,” Jin Ling says. “Well, I heard that Jiujiu rearranged some of the buildings when he had this place rebuilt. Apparently, he wanted to set up some kind of giant shield talisman in the new foundations of Lotus Pier."
He rolls his eyes.
"I always thought it was a little paranoid," he grumbles, "but better safe than sorry, right?”
Wei Wuxian winces a little at that, but doesn't say more.
“Anyways,” Jin Ling says, after a moment, confused by Wei Wuxian's strange mood. “I’m just going to go put down my stuff. You can stand there and stare a little longer if you like, I guess.”
He goes into his rooms, and is surprised to find a letter with the Lanling Jin seal waiting for him on the desk. He opens it and reads briefly. Sucking in a breath, he immediately heads back out, and is surprised to see Wei Wuxian standing at the doors to the sealed room, one hand outstretched, as if he had been about to push the doors open. He startles at Jin Ling's appearance, however, and quickly lowers his hand.
"What are you still doing here?" Jin Ling asks suspiciously.
“Nothing," Wei Wuxian says immediately, oddly defensive. "What were you doing in there?”
Jin Ling raises an eyebrow.
“I live here, remember?" he says, unimpressed. "We’ve been over this."
Wei Wuxian suddenly seems to notice the letter in his hand, and nods towards it, seemingly eager to change the topic.
“What’s that?” he asks.
Jin Ling looks down at the letter, then turns it around to show Wei Wuxian the seal.
“A letter from Carp Tower arrived just as we did," he says. "It seems the corpses we were fighting all became regular corpses after we left. Zewu-Jun has taken charge. They are sorting out the bodies and the funeral rites now.”
“That’s good to hear,” Wei Wuxian says.
Both of them fall into an awkward silence after that. They stand there quietly for a moment longer, before finally, Jin Ling is unable to resist his curiosity.
“So are you actually going to try opening that door," he asks, "or are you just going to stare at it?”
Wei Wuxian bites his lip. After a moment, he chuckles.
“That depends," he says, and offers Jin Ling a crooked grin. "Do you know what’s in that room?”
Jin Ling pauses for a moment.
“I doubt you can open it anyway,” he finally mutters. “The door is sealed. It opens only for Jiujiu, and I haven’t seen anyone else go in for as long as I’ve lived here.”
Another moment passes. Finally, however, Wei Wuxian closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath. He turns back to the door, putting his hand on it. Then, he pauses for a moment longer, before, still not opening his eyes— he pushes it open.
Jin Ling's jaw drops as the door opens for him without resistance.
After a moment, Wei Wuxian opens his eyes again, and his eyes immediately widen.
“Wow,” he whispers.
He begins to walk slowly into the room, eyes tracing over the furniture with a faint sense of wonderment. Jin Ling trots after him, mouth open and feeling rather incredulous.
“What did you do?!” he demands, as Wei Wuxian pulls the curtains of the bed open, leaning over to peer at the wall opposite the bedhead. “Did you— Did you just break the seal?!”
For a long moment, Wei Wuxian doesn't reply. He doesn't even move. He just stares.
Finally, Jin Ling steps forward, and looks at the wall Wei Wuxian is staring at. There is a crossed out doodle of two people kissing on the wall, the same one he remembers seeing all those years ago, the one time he'd actually gotten into the sealed room. He doesn't understand why Wei Wuxian is looking at it like that— looking at it like he’s seen a ghost.
After a moment, Wei Wuxian straightens, letting the curtains fall back into place. He turns around, looking around the room for a long moment, before finally, he lets out a small, pained chuckle.
"It looks as if I’d never left it,” he whispers, and Jin Ling frowns.
“What— is this place?” he finally asks.
Wei Wuxian steps forward, tracing his hand over the dresser where a wooden stand sits.
“You know, A-Ling,” he finally whispers. “I used to live here too. Once upon a time.”
It looks the perfect size to hold a flute.