Chapter 1: Memory Lane
Notes:
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-HEED THE TAGS-
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*Please note, because this story is so trauma-laden, unlike my less dark stories, NO warnings will be given in the chapter summary when a chapter will contain potentially triggering content*
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Story Info - May Contain Spoilers*
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Universe:
- Pre-Episode 193 Canon Compliant
Major Divergences:
- Kagome remains in the modern era instead of returning to the Warring States period after three years.
- Canon era setting altered (Kagome’s “future” time) to take place during 2011-2012 instead of 1996-2000.
- Kagome was born in 1996 instead of 1981.
Setting:
- 21st Century, Japan; Ten years post-episode 192
Tone/Genre:
- Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance, Thriller & Suspense, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Porn, Smut
Tropes:
- Sesshoumaru's Beast, Knotting, Mating Marks, Blood Adoption Ceremony, Kagome is Shippō’s Parent, Sesshoumaru is Rin’s Parent, Alpha Sesshoumaru, Powerful Higurashi Kagome, Aging Up, Hurt Sesshoumaru
Trigger Warnings:
- Rape and Sexual Assault, Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual), Child Abuse, Self-injurious behavior, Excessive or gratuitous violence, Needles, Kidnapping (forceful deprivation of/disregard for personal autonomy), Death or dying, Pregnancy/Childbirth, Miscarriages/Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Racism (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Prejudice, Slavery (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Genocide, Concentration camps (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Suicide, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Alcohol/Drug Withdrawal, Trauma, Suicide Ideation, Scars, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Alcoholism, Nightmares about Traumatic Events, Life-Changing injury, Detailed Medical Talk, Infant Death, Graphic Deaths, Mass Death, Murder, Extreme Violence, Gore, Torture, Mutilation, Cutting of Limbs, Threatening baby/child, Violence against Children, Physical Abuse, Described Blood, Graphic Violence, Drugging Someone Against Their Will, Female Oppression, Forced Breeding, Forced Pregnancy
Fandom Warnings:
- Several Major Character Deaths
- Several Major Character Undeaths
- Several Characters OOC
Published October 12, 2022 ༻❁༺ Chapter Word Count: 5,452
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memory lane
idiom
the memory of one's past life likened to a road down which one may travel:
Chapter One
At the behest of Kagome’s hands and foot, the humble black Toyota moved along just below the speed limit, carrying its contents off towards a much needed vacation. Just ahead, a car filled with their friends led the way to the campsite, leaving Ayumi and Kagome to happily ignore the GPS in favor of the radio. The two women belted along with their mutually favorite idol girl group, enthralled by a new song that would surely be stuck in both of their heads for the entirety of their camping trip.
They were roughly three hours into the drive and nearing their destination when the long forgotten sensation washed over Kagome. Ayumi continued singing, completely unaware of Kagome’s white knuckle grip on the steering wheel or how the color had drained from her face to match. Her mind had blanked, spots clouding her vision, palms instantly sweaty, entire body trembling as she struggled to regain her hold on her reality. It was impossible when the truths she’d believed of said reality were so brazenly being shredded in real time as her reiki rose to meet the assault on her aura.
Yōki. Not just from a single yōkai. Dozens, maybe hundreds. She couldn’t even pick out a single aura with so many swirling around the area. She hadn’t detected a single yōkai since the well stopped working almost ten years prior. The world around her began to blur, her breathing became erratic. She wasn’t sure whether she was terrified or elated, both sensations warring inside of her for control and creating a panic that tightened her chest. She barely registered Ayumi’s gentle touch on her arm or the concerned tone of her voice, all she could focus on was the fading sensation of yōki in the air.
She yanked on the steering wheel, sending the car skidding over gravel and roadside grass before slamming on the breaks. She wasn’t sure how long she’d sat there hyperventilating, ignoring Ayumi’s panicked shouts until Hojo knocked on her window.
“Higurashi, what happened? Are you hurt?”
Kagome finally looked up, eyes refocusing and taking in her surroundings. The car that Hojo had been driving, which had also contained Yuka, Eri, Hina, and Ren, was pulled over quite a distance in front of her own, caution lights flashing in a soothing rhythm that helped to ground her. She blinked a few times before slowly turning to face Hojo, offering a weak-and apparently unconvincing-negative shake of the head.
“You are very pale, Higurashi. You don’t look well at all. Are any of your old conditions flaring up again?”
“No! No, nothing like that, Hojo-kun. I’m sorry to worry you-I just remembered something.” She looked around at all of her friends, who were gazing at her with palpable concern. “Please don’t be mad, guys, but I have to go do something… personal. I won’t be too long, hopefully. I’ll try to join you all at the campsite as soon as I can.”
“Kagome! What could possibly be so important all of the sudden that it can’t wait a few days? We’ve had this trip planned for months.” The set of her brow made it obvious that Eri was suspicious. Fortunately, she and the rest of her friends seemed keen to let it slide, afterall, since the well stopped working, Kagome had become her old reliable self. She’d stopped flaking out on them years ago. Surely, she was allowed this one teeny-tiny relapse?
“I’m really sorry. You know how much I need this vacation. This isn’t something that can just wait, though. I can’t explain right now. Hojo, can you fit Ayumi and her stuff in your car?”
“Of course. The Alphord has plenty of room. We’ll just shift around some of the luggage and squeeze Ayumi in next to Ren.”
Before anyone could say anything else, good ole understanding and dependable Hojo was collecting Ayumi’s bags from the trunk of Kagome’s car.
“Are you sure you’ll be okay, Kagome?” Ayumi's hand settled on the crook of Kagome’s elbow, rubbing soothing circles against her skin. “I can go with you, if you want. I don’t mind.”
Kagome smiled at her closest friend.
“Thank you Yumi-chan, I’ll be okay though. Go have fun. I’ll be back in no time at all! Promise.” Kagome faked her best reassuring smile as her insides continued to twist and turn with ever-rising nerves.
The world moved in slow motion as she bid her friends goodbye and watched them drive off. She took a deep breath before putting her car in drive and setting forth to find an exit or turnaround. The more distance she put between herself and the heavy signatures of yōki, the more acutely aware Kagome became of the gnawing emptiness in her chest, a sensation all too familiar, one that had been forgotten as the years had passed. A frown pulled at the corners of her mouth. It had taken her so long to put the past behind her and move on with her life. To become numb to the hole that had been punched through her sternum after the well separated her from her friends. Her life. Her home. She choked back a sob.
Why now?
Her fingers drummed anxiously against the steering wheel. She finally found an exit that would allow her to turn back towards wherever that concentration of yōki was coming from. The closer she got, the more real it became. Her hands were sweating, heart pounding, the taste of bile threatening to creep up her throat. The situation she was putting herself in could very well prove dangerous. She scoffed at herself.
No. Maybe many years ago when she was an oblivious fifteen year old girl, blindly traipsing around sixteenth century Japan and lobbing poorly aimed arrows at menacing yōkai. After making her wish and re-absorbing the shikon no tama, though, Kagome very much doubted that even a horde of yōkai could stand against her powers.
Such a waste that such power is trapped on a side of the well where yōkai don’t exist. Or… at least, I didn't think that they'd existed. Maybe this is why I’m here.
Her frown deepened as her mind ran wild with the possibilities. Had she found their hiding place? Was it a single camp? Was it a fluke? What if she was only sensing a ton of bones with latent powers, like those collected by the tajiya village? What if she was getting her hopes up for nothing? She was snapped out of her thoughts as the presence of yōki peaked in power. She slowed to the side of the road and allowed herself a few calming breaths before making her way to her trunk. She kept her bow and quiver stored there. It had been years since she’d wielded a bow in battle, but kyūjutsu was a hobby she’d maintained in the modern world-one she’d grown impressively proficient with, in fact. One of the many skills she’d perfected over the decade in anticipation of returning to the past, an opportunity which had yet to come. She kept her skills sharp nonetheless, a flicker of hope forever burning deep beneath the ache of reality.
She shouldered the quiver and gripped the smooth wood of her most trusted weapon as she made her way into the nearby treeline, allowing her ki to lead her to the source of the crippling yōki. As she grew closer, she was able to distinguish more. Something was off. Despite how overwhelming and potent the yōki was, the signatures were muted somehow… As if behind a barrier. It hit her that it wasn’t just yōki she was sensing-but reiki as well.
Why would so much reiki be present with so much yōki?
She doubted that yōkai and those with spiritual powers had mended their relationships enough to work together. When she’d left the past, tensions were only just beginning to rise, practitioners of Shintō and Buddhism alike coming together against a common enemy. Groups of warrior hōshi and mikos formed to battle the uptick of yōkai that continued to surge with the presence of the jewel shards. Goosebumps took up residence on Kagome’s flesh. She hadn’t felt reiki on such a level in just as long as it had been since she’d sensed similar yōki. Humans with genuine spiritual powers were as extinct as yōkai. Which… apparently, may not have been quite as extinct as she’d believed. Her frown couldn’t possibly get any deeper.
Kagome continued to stumble along over gnarled roots as she crunched through the forest underbrush in search of whatever mystery continued its pull on her senses. Time was meaningless beneath the summer heat and the canopy of trees. Sweat began to slicken her skin, attracting bugs that she absentmindedly swatted away as she maneuvered around rotting logs and coiling vines. There was a familiarity to the wilderness around her, a sort of nostalgic pang in her stomach. The isolation and nature was too reminiscent of her time in the past. It was different, though. She was different. She’d grown strong and agile, her stamina was much higher. The intensity of the trek through the rough terrain barely registered on her body, despite the heavy ki weighing on her and growing stronger with every step forward.
Her breath caught when she felt the massive spiritual barrier. It was powerful-too powerful for a single holy person… besides, of course, the Shikon Miko herself. She was hesitant to dispel it without understanding its purpose, so she instead created a barrier around herself and made her way through it.
The oppressive yōki within nearly brought her to her knees. It wasn’t muted beyond that barrier, each aura crashing against her in waves as they called out in a desperate cacophony of separate sounds that combined into one, gargantuan flood of pain. The auras were in agony, crying out in anguish. Tears flooded her field of vision and suddenly she was running towards the yōki signatures without a care of any threat she may find once she reached them. Never had she felt such horrific suffering in a being's aura, and it was amplified by countless yōkai enduring that same torment.
Her running came to an abrupt halt as she nearly collided with a second barrier, this one even stronger than the first. She eased her way through it and nearly choked on her own breath when her eyes met the previously cloaked, foreboding structure on the other side. The entire area around it was saturated with an air that soaked into the soil, marring it with the eternal memory that this site was one where death and destruction bled and bruised the earth. It took on its own haunting aura, like a battlefield. Kagome could taste it as it clawed and frayed the edges of her aura. If the land itself wasn’t bad enough, the building standing before her certainly was. It radiated with a promise that nothing good could be found within, screaming at her to turn away and never look back.
What looked like the entrance to a concrete bunker was built into the side of a hill, a massive metal door engraved with a sacred sutra stood tall in its center. The door had no handle, but somehow, Kagome knew she could open it with her reiki. She surprised herself when she didn’t even hesitate. It opened at her will, sliding slowly into the side of the wall in a way that brought to mind pyramids and tombs. She stepped through, half expecting booby traps and cursed mummies to spring to life and give chase. Instead she was met with the oppressive, musty, stench of air within a space long left dormant, dust mites swirling in the sparse light allowed in by the open doorway. The corridor beyond was pitch black.
She summoned reiki to her palm, illuminating the walls around her in a soft pink glow. Her feet moved forward in a near trancelike state, drawn to the yōki that seemed to be coming from beneath the floor. The closer she got, the more she was honing in on a single, specific, familiar aura, still buried beneath too many other signatures for her to identify its owner. She continued through a series of dark, cement corridors until she came upon a stairwell.
It felt like a dream, descending those stairs, latching onto that specific aura that grew in distinction the closer she got. She was able to latch onto it finally, to distinguish between it and the rest, probing it with her own aura. It was sluggish in response, weary, lethargic, and yet, it probed back. Feelings of disbelief, hope, apprehension flooded through to her own aura. She coaxed and soothed it as she quickened her pace. She must have descended twelve flights of stairs, taking two or three at a time, heedless of the dark and any danger she might meet. The air was impossibly warm and stagnant, growing more so the deeper she delved into the underbelly of the structure. Her throat was dry and dusty, sweat ran down her neck and soaked into the soft cotton of her T-shirt.
The powerful aura dominated the space as she reached what appeared to be the bottom floor, a small corridor housing a lone doorway whose slim window showed only darkness beyond. White paint on smooth cinderblock announced the floor as thirteen. She pushed aside the sliding, reiki-sealed door and made haste to close the gap between herself and the familiar yōkai, her mind cycling, grasping at memories trying to hold onto one that would tell her to whom the aura belonged.
The hallway held no other doors except for the one at its end, once again engraved with a massive sutra, more paper sutras plastered to it and the surrounding walls, enchanted to withstand time. There was once again no hesitation as she forced the door open with her reiki. The room beyond was pitch black, its four walls close enough to one another to barely contain just their prisoner and Kagome’s trembling body. It felt like standing inside of a coffin. She lifted her palm to see the face of the mystery yōkai.
Tears filled her eyes, spilling down her cheeks. His cat-like pupils reacted to the light, shrinking away before weary lids slid over gilded irises. Wrong. It was all so wrong. Someone so powerful, so majestic… no, her mind couldn’t accept what she was seeing. His name felt heavy on her tongue. It left her lips in a whisper of disbelief.
“Sesshōmaru.”
Kagome projected the reiki from her palm, forcing a glowing orb into the hallway behind her so that the gleam was less harsh on sensitive eyes that had been so obviously long deprived of light. It illuminated the space just enough for her to see. When she assessed the scene before her, she wanted to snuff out the light altogether.
The once proud and great inudaiyōkai was chained with reiki bindings, burning into his forehead, neck, torso, wrists, knees, and ankles. A reiki gag had blackened and singed the skin around his mouth. He was stripped nude, affixed with what seemed like some sort of odd, makeshift urinary catheter and colostomy bag, each leading to a drainage system in the floor. The entire contraption emanated some sort of magic. Even more baffling, it seemed to be unutilized. Perhaps it had grown unnecessary over the years. He certainly didn’t seem to have any sort of food or water supply and Kagome was willing to bet that whoever had imprisoned him had long since abandoned the facility. Considering that, though, he should have been considerably more emaciated.
True enough, he was frail, his yōki weak compared to the powerful presence she remembered him as. But the condition of the bunker made her think it had been at least a few decades since anyone had walked the dark halls. Kagome couldn’t help but wonder just how long it would take a daiyōkai to starve to death or die of thirst.
“Oh, Sesshōmaru. Who did this to you? Don’t worry, I’m going to get you out of this. You’re lucky I’m in med school. Kami, this stuff is ancient. How long have you been like this? I’m sorry, I babble when I’m nervous.”
She continued rambling as she removed the bindings, starting with his ankles and working her way up. She more or less repeated the same things, reassuring him that he was safe and that she would get him out, that everything was okay. His eyes had lulled closed as she spoke and worked. He seemed to lean into her touch.
Kagome was surprised by how relatively clean he was. She assumed it must have had something to do with his yōki. At least until she noticed the onenju hanging from his neck. Her breath hitched when her hand touched the wooden beads. Somehow, she knew, she just knew that the wood had come from the Goshinboku. It was as if she could feel its presence within the string of smooth spheres. She stared at it for a moment, baffled. There was a tingling of reiki in it that seemed to have been nullified. She probed it with her own reiki and it shrank away even further. Not before she identified it, though.
It was a sealing spell, just like the arrow that bound Inuyasha to Goshinboku for five decades. Someone had taken what had been done to her beloved hanyō and turned it into a portable prison for Sesshōmaru. She furiously wrapped the cursed necklace in both fists and pumped her reiki into it, causing an explosion that sent the beads flying around the tiny prison. It may have been overkill. She winced as she shot a shaking, wide-eyed Sesshōmaru with an apologetic smile and mumbled
“Sorry.”
He seemed to have calmed, though, only leaning forward to rest his forehead against hers in a gesture that she read as silent gratitude. Kagome took a deep breath as she moved onto the most daunting of her tasks. She thanked the kami for her chosen career path as she slipped into the mindset of a medical professional. Removing the unusual bodily fluid drainage system was… a challenge. The crude colostomy would have killed any being lesser than yōkai. She could see the scarring around it as his yōki had repetitively corrected errors that would likely have otherwise resulted in death or horrific infection. She cried as she addressed it, aware that even for him, it must be incredibly painful.
Once the device had been removed, she undid the last of his bindings and Sesshōmaru collapsed against her. Kagome struggled to lead him into the slightly more spacious hallway, allowing him to prop his body against the wall and slink down to a more comfortable seated position. She immediately set to work on healing him, starting with the botched colostomy, stifling sobs as she made her way through each of his injuries. Kagome was all too aware that his eyes never left her, tracking her every move with the precision of a predator. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him, knowing what her own kind had inflicted upon the daiyōkai. The way he flinched with each use of her reiki did not escape her notice.
As she finished healing him, she sat back on her haunches and finally forced herself to make eye contact. He instinctively recoiled as she brought a hand to his cheek, but as soon as her skin made contact with his, he leaned in and nuzzled, a loud, content rumble emanating from his chest. That was the final straw. She engulfed him in her arms, holding him close as she rocked him back and forth. Seeing the great Lord of the West physically damaged was hard enough… but seeing the fiercely proud and stoic yōkai mentally damaged and touch starved was more than Kagome could handle. She ran her hands along every appropriate surface of his skin and through the length of his hair. The rumbling echoed through the corridor and suddenly she was pulled into his lap, his arms a vice around her torso, his head nuzzling against her chest. The sounds he made vibrated through her body. She heard herself repeating the same words over and over, a quiet mantra against the crown of his head.
“It’s okay Sesshōmaru. You’re safe.”
She wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that in the humid hallway, crushed against each other, giving and taking comfort in one another’s touch. Soon, Sesshōmaru had slumped onto his side, taking Kagome with him, his legs wrapped around hers and gentle snuffs and snores accompanied his breaths. She didn’t wake him, she couldn’t. She allowed him to rest for as long as he needed, all the while his body nearly crushing hers in its desperate embrace.
She tried not to allow her mind to ponder the position she’d found herself in-a naked daiyōkai clinging to her in an ancient underground bunker. The oddity of her predicament surely rivaled time traveling through a well and fighting supposedly mythological beings. Had she not had that experience, she was sure she wouldn’t be capable of accepting her newfound reality. It was all too much. How, she wondered, did she always find herself in such bizarre situations? With a mental shake, she forced her thoughts to quiet. None of it mattered.
Until she could get Sesshōmaru out of the bunker, she needed to calm herself. She focused only on her breathing, on the rumbling and vibrations coming from Sesshōmaru, grounding herself to the moment rather than thinking of the dozens upon dozens of other auras screaming in the depths of the cement pit that she’d found herself in. She must have dozed off, for how long she couldn’t say, but when she came to it was to the dry rasp of her name on Sesshōmaru’s tongue.
“Kagome. Miko. Wake up.”
Her mind obeyed his request, eyes opening to find the daiyōkai crouched in front of her, draped in his familiar fur.
“Where’d you get that?”
He blinked before following her gaze to his pelt.
“It is part of me. I summoned it.”
“Oh.” was the only response she could manage. She stood, offering him her hands, surprised when he rejected.
“I can manage.” He was upright in an instant. She noted that he suddenly seemed less frail, his muscles and body weight no different from how she remembered him so many years before. “Come.”
He led her down the hallway, towards the stairwell from which she’d come. Without prompting, Kagome forced the door to the stairwell open with her reiki and the two stepped through to the other side. She yelped as Sesshōmaru took her in his arms, her knees draped around the crook of his elbow and her head pressed to his shoulder. Without warning he took to the air, flying up the center of the stairway, bypassing more than a dozen floors within seconds. He set her back down on unsteady feet and continued his way towards the exit. Once outside, Sesshōmaru took a deep breath of fresh air.
“A moment.” were the only words he offered as he settled with his back against a nearby tree. He cast his gaze to the sky, which had grown dark with the night since Kagome had entered the bunker. The stars were bright and the moon was nearly full, illuminating the surrounding field with enough light for Kagome to make out her surroundings.
She didn’t hurry him, positive by that point that the site was long abandoned by whoever had once maintained the horrors of the bunker.
“Sesshōmaru, I should go help the others–”
“No.”
“No? I can’t just leave them like that.”
“For now, you must. We will return when it is light and we are better able to assess the situation.”
Kagome took a moment. She was well aware that what he was saying made sense, that it was likely the best course of action, but the tortured auras… so many of them, and since being made aware of the conditions in which they were suffering… it violated every iota of her nature to leave them in such condition. She took a deep breath. Caring for one yōkai would be difficult enough. For the safety of the yōkai and humanity alike, it would be best to have a plan before proceeding. Another deep breath and Kagome readied herself to leave behind dozens in need of her help. Her chest constricted as she forced the words out.
“Okay. Well, you’re welcome to stay with me. My house is a few hours from here.”
“Very well.”
“I don’t mean to rush you, but if we’re not staying, we should get going. It’s a long drive and I’m exhausted. It’ll be dangerous to drive if I get too tired and I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be seen in daylight.”
He blinked at her a few times. She was well aware half of what she’d said likely made no sense to him. It had been a long time since she’d had to translate her modern speech into something coherent enough for those of the past to understand. He seemed to trust her enough to just nod in acquiescence. He stood, prompting her to turn and make her way back to her car. He was apprehensive as she shielded him through the barriers. She was tempted to dismantle them once she’d learned of their nefarious nature. She refrained. Sesshōmaru was right, they had no idea what they were dealing with-who else was trapped in that bunker. Kagome certainly wasn’t about to release something like Naraku out into the world.
The rest of their trek through the woods was quiet. Sesshōmaru continuously glanced at Kagome’s GPS app with interest as she navigated her way back to the road. If he had questions, he didn’t voice them. When they finally made it back to her car, Kagome could have kissed the ground. She felt sticky and disgusting, old dust clung to her between layers of sweat and she was sure there wasn’t a single speck of exposed skin that hadn’t been bitten by bugs. Considering that she was dressed in a form-fitting T-shirt and a pair of mid-rise cargo shorts, that didn't leave much of her flesh safe from the torment of various insects. She immediately grabbed a scrunchie from her gear shift and piled her hair on top of her head, freeing her back from its thick, waist length blanket of warmth.
She dug through a cooler of melted ice for water, downing an entire bottle before turning to ask Sesshōmaru if he wanted some. She panicked briefly when all she found behind her was empty space. Her body sagged in relief when she spotted his pale form, somehow blending in with the treeline despite being bright white and nearly nude, save for his fur. He seemed almost skittish as he observed the highway and the few cars that graced it. His eyes landed on Kagome’s Toyota as she opened the trunk and rummaged through her luggage. He’d yet to move by the time Kagome re-emerged from her trunk, flannel pajama pants and oversized waffle bathrobe in hand.
“Here, they’re probably way too small on you, but better than nothing.”
When he didn’t move to take the offered clothing, dilated eyes still fixed on the road, Kagome took the liberty of dressing him. He paid her no mind, his nostrils flaring as he scented the wind, eyes wide and unblinking like a cornered animal. Kagome led him to her car, guiding him to the passenger seat and adjusting it to his height before buckling him in. He finally tore his eyes from the road.
“How long has it been?”
Kagome worried her lip.
“It’s been about five hundred years since we fought Naraku.”
Had her eyes not been locked onto his so intensely, she might’ve missed the subtle widening of his lids and slight part of his mouth. He forced his gaze ahead and Kagome forced her feet to move, settling in the driver’s seat.
“So, this is my car. Cars are a man-made means of travel to get us from one place to another much faster than we’re capable of on our own–well, humans, at least. I’m sure you’re much faster than a car.” She laughed awkwardly as nervous fingers fiddled with keys. “Anyways, it’s probably going to smell really bad to you, and everything is going to be loud. Lights from other cars will be bright. I just want you to be prepared before we get going. I’m going to start the car now, okay?”
His eyes were glued to her hand as she settled the key into the ignition. Once he nodded, Kagome turned the key and the car rumbled to life. She settled her phone on her windshield mount and punched her address into the GPS app. One deep inhale and exhale later and the car was on its way back to Tokyo.
“Oh, shit. I almost forgot.” Kagome sighed. “Hey, Siri, send a message to Ayumi.”
When the synthetic monotone of the phone’s AI responded, Kagome felt the confusion in Sesshōmaru’s aura as he stiffened. She slid her eyes sideways to observe him, stifling a laugh as he leaned forward sniffing in a manner that was all too reminiscent of Inuyasha.
“What would you like to say?” The voice had inquired.
“‘Things are more complicated than expected. Can’t make it, sorry. I’ll explain later. Apologize to everyone for me. Have fun and please don’t worry, I’m fine.’”
“Your message to Ayumi says ‘Things are more complicated than expected. Can’t make it, sorry. I’ll explain later. Apologize to everyone for me. Have fun and please don’t worry, I’m fine.’ Ready to send it?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, I’ll send it.”
She cleared her throat.
“Sorry, Sesshōmaru. I should’ve warned you before doing that. It’s hard to explain but this… tool, it’s something man created. We’ll get more into specifics later, but I can tell you’re curious about the voice. It wasn’t real, it’s called artificial intelligence. Basically, it’s my… servant. I used the servant to let my friends know I’m not going camping with them and that I’m okay. It basically sent a letter from my tool to theirs.”
“I see.”
He didn’t ask any more questions and Kagome didn’t offer any further elaboration. After that, the first hour of the drive was spent in silence, Sesshōmaru staring beyond the passenger’s side window, his head lulled against the back of the seat with posture as still as a statue. Kagome’s nervous energy was making her insane. Some things never change and one of those things was Kagome’s hatred of too much silence. Her fingers tapped the steering wheel as her knee bounced with agitation. After an hour and a half she was ready to lose it. She cleared her throat.
“Sesshōmaru, I’m going to turn the radio on–it’s something that plays music. If it’s too loud or it hurts your ears or something let me know and I’ll turn it off. Kay?”
She saw him nod in her peripheral, so she adjusted the knobs to play only from the drivers side speakers, set the volume low, and ordered Siri to play her most recently curated Japanese instrumental lo-fi hip-hop playlist. She watched Sesshōmaru closely, monitoring whether it bothered him or not, aware he’d likely be too proud to admit his own discomfort. To her surprise, his eyes closed and the tension in his body relaxed. She smirked. A centuries old daiyōkai was in her passenger seat enjoying lofi.
She rolled her driver’s side window down partially, allowing her fingers to trace the wind as they drove. She was surprised when she heard the passenger’s window roll down, all the way. A few strands of Sesshōmaru’s hair whipped around the car’s interior as she drove, his hand eventually finding its way outside of the open window, gingerly testing the wind. His eyes once again slid shut. The last hour and a half of the drive home was spent with the wind and music filling their companionable silence. Though they’d both been thrust into this frightening unknown, Kagome had started to feel confident that the ever-impressive daiyōkai would somehow manage to adapt. Her confidence in him instilled more confidence in herself.
She could do this, whatever this was. They both could. After all, they’d overcome so much already. What’s one more challenge? One more adventure? If the past was anything to go by, they could handle the present. The future was theirs to carve out, they just had to keep moving forward, as they always had.
Notes:
As always, thanks for reading if you've made it this far AND read the authors note. Blows my mind that there are people out there interested enough in my words, both fictional and personal. So a big thank you if you've spent the time on consuming either and/or both. <3
Feel free to comment, kudo, criticize, correct, or offer your soul for sacrifice to the gods of writers block in exchange for more chapters. I kid. I've already offered my own, it didn't work. I'll try to overcome my blockages nonetheless and hopefully, soon I'll feed those dear enough to keep up with the stories some more delicious fic to consume.╔═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗
💬Discord: supsteff#0582
╚═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝
Chapter 2: Let Sleeping Dogs Lie
Notes:
╔»•» 🚩 «•«═════════════╗
-HEED THE TAGS-
╚═════════════.»•» 🚩 «•«╝
*Please note, because this story is so trauma-laden, unlike my less dark stories, NO warnings will be given in the chapter summary when a chapter will contain potentially triggering content*
⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅
Sorry to anyone who has been waiting for updates on my stories. I've been very sick recently (I have several chronic illnesses and they often get the better of me) and on top of that my basement wall started leaking water into my electrical panel RIGHT NEXT TO WHERE MY VERY EXPENSIVE GAMING SETUP IS. That was fun to deal with. BUT HERE WE ARE. AN UPDATE. This is actually my favorite story I'm currently working on but it's the roughest to edit because the way I write is to write scenes that pop into my head and weave them together. I'm having a bit of trouble with the weaving part on this one because the scenes I've written are so spaced out timeline wise. Anywho, if you're here for the update or continuing on from just finding the first chapter, thanks for your time and attention. Hope you enjoy. <3
This is unfortunately, a bit of a filler chapter. It probably should have been included with the first chapter but MEH. What's done is done. Next chapter will be more exciting.
EDIT 11/18/2022: TIL Japanese bathrooms are not typically equipped with shower curtains because the shower is not IN the tub. My mind has been blown. My culturally ignorant white ass has thoroughly bungled this throughout this story bc showering plays a significant role throughout several chapters. So, _for now_ (I’ll likely go back and edit this later, but Japanese bathrooms are wildly different from western ones [HELLO SUPER COOL AND CONVENIENT CONTROL PANELS WHY ARE WE STILL USING FUCKING VALVES] and there’s a lot of fuck ups to edit, here) we’re going to suspend belief and transport a western style bathroom into Kagome’s Japanese apartment. :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Story Info - May Contain Spoilers*
Universe:
- Pre-Episode 193 Canon Compliant
Major Divergences:
- Kagome remains in the modern era instead of returning to the Warring States period after three years.
- Canon era setting altered (Kagome’s “future” time) to take place during 2011-2012 instead of 1996-2000.
- Kagome was born in 1996 instead of 1981.
Setting:
- 21st Century, Japan; Ten years post-episode 192
Tone/Genre:
- Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance, Thriller & Suspense, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Porn, Smut
Tropes:
- Sesshoumaru's Beast, Knotting, Mating Marks, Blood Adoption Ceremony, Kagome is Shippō’s Parent, Sesshoumaru is Rin’s Parent, Alpha Sesshoumaru, Powerful Higurashi Kagome, Aging Up, Hurt Sesshoumaru
Trigger Warnings:
- Rape and Sexual Assault, Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual), Child Abuse, Self-injurious behavior, Excessive or gratuitous violence, Needles, Kidnapping (forceful deprivation of/disregard for personal autonomy), Death or dying, Pregnancy/Childbirth, Miscarriages/Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Racism (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Prejudice, Slavery (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Genocide, Concentration camps (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Suicide, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Alcohol/Drug Withdrawal, Trauma, Suicide Ideation, Scars, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Alcoholism, Nightmares about Traumatic Events, Life-Changing injury, Detailed Medical Talk, Infant Death, Graphic Deaths, Mass Death, Murder, Extreme Violence, Gore, Torture, Mutilation, Cutting of Limbs, Threatening baby/child, Violence against Children, Physical Abuse, Described Blood, Graphic Violence, Drugging Someone Against Their Will, Female Oppression, Forced Breeding, Forced Pregnancy
Fandom Warnings:
- Several Major Character Deaths
- Several Major Character Undeaths
- Several Characters OOC
Published October 24, 2022 ༻❁༺ Chapter Word Count: 3,694
⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅
let sleeping dogs lie
proverb
avoid interfering in a situation that is currently causing no problems but might do so as a result of such interference:
Chapter Two
It was around midnight when they pulled into the parking lot of Kagome’s apartment complex. Sesshōmaru had fallen asleep, or at least he seemed asleep, it was hard to tell. He was as still as a statue when idle, breath shallow and muscles unmoving. With his eyes closed it was nearly impossible to distinguish whether he was relaxing, meditating, sleeping, or dead.
“Sesshōmaru.” Kagome softly brushed her hand against his, rousing him as gently as possible. He sat upright so quickly her eyes had barely registered the movement. He blinked a few times, then turned to face her. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. We’re here. Ehr, my house, I mean. Come on, let’s get you inside before someone sees you.”
She shouldn’t have been as surprised as she was to see him learning so quickly, yet it still jarred her that he’d managed to open the car door and find himself outside before she’d even collected her things. It was, however, justifiably jarring to watch him make his way to the correct staircase and ascend to her floor. He was waiting in front of her apartment door when she’d finally caught up to him.
“How did you know which apartment was mine?”
“Your scent. It is fresh on those stairs and quite strong beyond this doorway. No other doorway holds your scent at all.”
“That’s… both creepy and impressive.”
She unlocked the door and led him inside, fumbling with the lightswitch and unceremoniously plunking her purse and keys on the floor as she kicked off her shoes. He stood in the doorway, staring at his bare, dirty feet.
“Come in, don’t worry about the floors. They’re due for a wash anyways.” Kagome offered her warmest smile, gently pulling on his arm to bring him deeper into her tiny apartment. “I’m betting you want a bath, huh?”
A curt nod was all he offered in response.
“Right. Well, I’ll show you. Come on.”
She closed and locked the door before padding down the hallway towards her bathroom, checking over her shoulder to see if Sesshōmaru had followed. His footfalls were so silent she half expected to see him still standing by the entryway. He shadowed closely, though, right on her heels as she stepped into her small bathroom, looming over her shoulder as she bent over the tub to instruct him.
“So, this is what controls the water. You turn it this way to turn it on, the further you turn it, the warmer the water gets. You can fill the bath if you want or just stand under the showerhead. It’s like a waterfall… or rain. You just push this part down to fill the tub, or pull it up to use the shower. Got it?” Kagome straightened once she’d completed her demonstration. Sesshōmaru stared at her, his all too familiar stoic expression in place. She got the feeling that he was uncomfortable… or perhaps overwhelmed. His eyes scanned the room, pupils contracting into slits as he faced the light above the sink, a frown tugging at his mouth.
Kagome sighed, ignoring his flinch as she brought her hand to his cheek.
“Hey. I know it’s a lot. I remember when I first fell through the Bone-Eater’s Well and ended up in the Muromachi Period… how jarring it was. And I at least had the advantage of hindsight. I knew about the era through history lessons. You’re just getting thrown into a future full of so much change. It’ll take a lot of adjusting but you’re smart and strong. You’ve got this. And I’m here to help.”
Sesshōmaru didn’t respond as he pushed by her and turned the shower on, divesting himself of Kagome’s borrowed clothing before stepping into the tub, pelt still draped along his shoulder. Kagome chastised herself for averting her eyes and blushing like a child.
Get it together, Kags. You’re a fourth-year med student. It’s just a body.
She squared her shoulders and tried to keep the tremble from her voice.
“Do you need help washing your hair or anything?”
Expressionless eyes turned to her, softening only slightly as he nodded and sank to the floor of the tub. He seemed to be ping-ponging back and forth from the daiyōkai she knew and the broken one she found in that cell. She masked her frown as she approached and grabbed the shampoo. Kagome settled down on the side of the tub, her feet planted behind where he sat, toes splashing in the water as they tapped absentmindedly, fingers absorbed in their task.
“Kami, you have so much hair.” It was taking some serious elbow grease to just get it wet. Working the shampoo into his impossibly long, thick tresses was sure to burn some calories. His eyes remained closed throughout the task, though, and the rumble from earlier that night returned to his chest as she massaged the suds into his scalp. The sound abruptly stopped, spine stiff and straight as her fingers grazed his ears.
She didn’t think much of it as she coated a cloth in body wash and began to scrub his back. When he didn’t protest, she moved onto his arms and chest. As she came to his abs, though, the stiffness in his spine returned. His breathing became more rapid, chest rising and falling beneath her hand. She noticed his forearms discreetly fold over his lap, drawing her attention to his rapidly growing erection that he was clearly trying to hide.
Oh.
“Sorry.”
Her apology only seemed to increase his agitation, as if her acknowledgement of what was happening to him somehow made it more uncomfortable. He gathered his furry pelt into a heap, cuddling it to his lap as he scowled at her.
“Sesshōmaru, it’s okay. Here, I’ll give you some privacy, you can finish.” She presented the soapy cloth to him, but he just stared blankly at it for a beat. His face softened again when his eyes met hers.
“Stay.”
“Alright. I’ll wash your legs but I’ve got a few years of school left before I have to go venturing into people’s private bits so you can take over for that part, got it?”
He cut her with a glare, snatching the cloth from her hand and aggressively scrubbing his legs. “I am perfectly capable of washing myself.”
“Good. Glad to hear it.” Kagome refrained from rolling her eyes and grumbling about the ungrateful demon lord, though it took summoning every bit she’d learned about bedside manners and all of her compassion and understanding of the human psyche... which she was sure must also apply to daiyōkai. At least to an extent.
When she made to stand and at least give him the privacy of a shower curtain, his hand darted out, clasping her wrist in a shaky grasp, his eyes wide when she met them with her own.
“Do not leave.”
She softened, guilt overwhelming her. He was good–probably too good–at masking his emotions, but as she stared into his eyes, in that moment all of the damage was there on display, his desperation and loneliness palpable. She sighed as she stripped down to her undergarments and joined him in the shower, sitting behind him and resting her head against his back.
“Miko, what–”
“Shh. Just finish washing. I’m right here.”
Kagome rubbed soothing circles into Sesshōmaru’s chest as he scrubbed himself first, and then the length of his massive furry pelt. Eventually he slumped against her, the cloth falling from his hand and floating towards the drain.
“Finished?”
“Yes. I would like to stay in the water for a while longer… If that is acceptable.”
“That’s fine. We can stay as long as you want. Erh, at least until the hot water runs out.”
“‘Runs out’?”
“Oh, yeah. There’s a container of water that’s constantly heated and when we run the water it uses the reserves. Once the reserves are out the heater can’t keep up with us running the water, so it starts getting cold.”
“I see.”
“Mhm, so we can stay here until that happens.”
“That is fine.”
Kagome ran her hands along Sesshōmaru’s temple and through his hair, humming a song that her mother used to sing to put her to sleep when she was little. He nuzzled into her sternum, seeming to seek the vibrations from her humming, his own rumbling building in contented response. Kagome was unsure of how much time had passed when the water finally began to chill, but once it had Sesshōmaru seemed to fold in on himself as he sat up, shame radiating through his aura. Kagome reached by him and shut off the water, then rested a hand on his chin, stroking a few times before gently encouraging his gaze to hers.
“I don’t think any less of you. It’s okay to need comfort after what you went through. No one has to know. Use me, let me comfort you for now. When you feel better we can pretend this never happened. I don’t think you’re weak. I still see you as the most powerful being to ever exist. I’m just happy to know you’re still here. And honestly, I think you’re pretty impressive for surviving. So don’t feel ashamed. Take your comfort.”
He radiated unease, clearly unused to being vulnerable. Kagome couldn’t help but smile at the set of his brow, the steely determination settling along his features. She knew what was coming and it was one of the only times Sesshōmaru had ever reminded her of Inuyasha. She nearly chuckled to herself.
It must run in the family to hide vulnerability with hostility.
Before he could make some sort of angsty remark, she stood and stepped out of the shower.
“Come on, let’s get you dried off. That hair is going to take an hour to blow dry. Leave the fur. We’ll do that after.” She paused. “Do you want something to eat?”
“I do not eat human food.”
“Mhm, but you like fruit.”
“How would you know that?”
She hesitated to mention Rin.
“Wouldn’t you like to know.” She smirked over her shoulder as she toweled the excess moisture from her hair. “I’ll put something together for you and we can get you cozy in bed while you eat.”
“Unnecessary.”
“But enjoyable.”
She tossed a towel at his head, earning her an annoyed growl. He stiffened and ripped the towel off when there was a responding growl from the other side of the bathroom door.
Kagome chuckled as she slid into a robe that had been hanging on a wall hook.
“Ikigai, shush! That mouth of yours is gonna get you in trouble one of these days.” She turned to Sesshōmaru. “Sorry, he has a bad habit of trying to pick fights with bigger dogs.”
“Hn.” There was a subtle flare to his nostrils that didn’t escape Kagome’s notice.
“Uhm, I’m going to have to introduce him to you or he’s going to be agitated all night. I can already hear him pacing.”
“That is fine.”
“Okay, good, well, come on. You can dry off in the bedroom while I find you some clothes.”
Kagome gathered camellia oil, a comb, and her blow dryer. She looked at the objects, brow furrowed, before holding them out towards Sesshōmaru. He tilted his head at her offering.
“Carry these for me. I can’t deal with Ikigai with my arms full.”
When he wordlessly accepted and freed her hands, Kagome braced herself for the workout ahead. Carefully, she opened the door, snagging her dog by his collar before he could barrel in after Sesshōmaru.
“Knock it off you big oaf.”
She wrestled him to the bedroom with great difficulty. He was large–even by the standards of his already large breed–standing at roughly half of Kagome’s height and as heavy as a seventy-five inch TV. She didn’t bother to check if Sesshōmaru was following, but she wasn’t surprised to find him hovering behind her once she got Ikigai closed into her walk-in closet.
“Phew. Well, that never gets old. He’s like that with every guy that comes into my apartment, but he seems extra eager to meet you.”
“He is protective.”
“Yeah, that’s why my family got him for me. He was a puppy when they brought him home, but the idea was for him to be full grown by the time I graduated high school and moved out on my own. My brother picked him out. He thought…nevermind.”
“What is it?” The way Sesshōmaru perked up with interest made her want to share with him. She guided him back towards her bed, taking a seat and motioning for him to join. Once he did, she relieved him of the hair products that she’d saddled him with and set them on her bedside table.
“Sōta was still pretty young and when he came up with his little plot, Gramps didn’t catch on to what he was up to. To be fair… I guess I didn’t make the connection, either. At least not until Sōta explained his thought process. He figured that having a protector that reminded me of Inuyasha would make me feel better somehow. I almost wish he hadn’t mentioned it because a companion was exactly what I’d needed, but looking at Ikigai and thinking of Inuyasha was painful. The pain was dulled when I thought about how Inuyasha would react to being compared to a domesticated dog.” She laughed. “It… was a complicated time in my life. Ikigai had been a bit of a sore point for me for a while, but in a way, he ultimately ended up saving my life. That’s how he earned his name.”
Sesshōmaru only nodded as he stared at Kagome’s closet, Ikigai’s nose and paws visible from beneath the space between the hardwood and the door.
“You may release him.”
“Only if you promise you won’t try to melt him.”
“I will not harm the dog, Miko.”
“I can’t promise he won’t try to harm you, though.”
“If he does, I will not retaliate.”
“Fine.”
Kagome took a deep breath as she cracked the door and grabbed Ikigai’s collar, grunting as she tried to talk and hold him back at the same time.
“He’s a Kishu Ken. Sōta chose him because his little triangle ears made him think of Inuyasha.”
“I do see the resemblance.” Kagome was sure that was the first smile she’d seen from Sesshōmaru… ever. It was small, barely noticeable, but it was a smile nonetheless.
She chuckled.
The dog calmed down once he was actually in front of Sesshōmaru, easing into a sit, tongue lolling as he panted to recuperate from his struggle against Kagome. He gave a few tentative sniffs before jumping onto the bed and curling up next to the daiyōkai.
“Huh. Looks like he likes you.”
Sesshōmaru’s only response was to reach out and stroke the dog’s back.
“Well. Now that that’s settled I guess I should try to find you some clothes.”
Kagome disappeared into the walk-in and re-emerged with an old, baggy pair of joggers and an oversized T-shirt that she’d dug up from the depths of her closet. Meanwhile, Sesshōmaru’s hair had dripped all over his torso and formed a puddle on her comforter.
“Oh. I probably should’ve dried you off first.” She set his clothes down before dragging the little bench from her vanity closer to her bed. “Sit there.”
He did, and she plugged in the blow dryer before explaining what it was and how it worked.
“So, it’s going to be really loud. Feel free to cover your ears.” He stared blankly at her, that unnerving aloofness bearing down and making her feel small. His hot and cold moods were giving Kagome whiplash. She forced a tight smile as she worked the camellia oil through his hair, combing it and wringing excess moisture into the towel that remained wrapped around Sesshōmaru’s waist.
He was not amused by that, scowling at the wet spot that formed against his thigh. Kagome was sure she would qualify for sainthood by the end of the night with as many times as she checked her notoriously bad temper. She once again ignored his haughty attitude and switched on the blowdryer. She scolded herself for the small, satisfied smile that crept up on her when he clamped his hands down over his ears. It took over an hour to blowdry all of his hair. She couldn’t imagine how he dealt with it back in the Warring States Period. Air drying would take all day, maybe longer. It was so thick and even longer than it was back then, landing mid-calf.
Kagome indulged herself and worked the hair into a thick braid before helping him dress. The joggers were short on him, landing a good bit above his ankles, making them look more akin to capris. The shirt fit well, though, and Kagome couldn’t help thinking how unnatural it was to see him in modern clothes, sitting on her western style bed with her flower print comforter and her embarrassing collection of food and animal shaped throw-pillows. He stared up at her with unblinking eyes, a living relic of the past thrust into a world that had long forgotten him. She felt her chin wobble as moisture gathered and threatened to spill from her eyes. She bit the urge back and took Sesshōmaru by the hand, coaxing him to his feet and leading him wordlessly to the kitchen.
Sesshōmaru was very interested in the refrigerator, nostrils flaring and eyes wide as they darted around to each individual item stored within. His nose twitched as he reached for a carton of juice. Kagome took it from him and poured a glass of the mango mix. He gave it a few hesitant sniffs before downing the entire thing in a single gulp and pushing the emptied cup towards her with an expectant look. Kagome giggled as she refilled it. He drank it slower the second time, savoring it with his eyes closed. She was happy she could give him any sort of comfort.
Thank you, Rin, for your endless fun facts about your favorite daiyōkai.
Kagome gathered a few different fruits in a bowl–strawberries, grapes, mandarin slices, and sato-nishiki cherries. She figured he’d have to like at least one of them.
“You’re lucky I eat a ton of fruit. I’m always stocked up. I guess it’s kind of a good thing my trip got canceled. I was worried my fruits would all go bad before I got home. I didn’t really know what to do with them. I shouldn’t have bought so much on my last visit to the market, I guess. Works out for you, though.”
She was met with more blank staring. It made her feel like she should be uncomfortable, awkward... yet for whatever reason, she wasn’t. So, she continued to babble at him in random intervals, just as she had since she found him in his cell. She hoped he wasn't too annoyed by her. She forced herself to stop overthinking it. If he was annoyed, he would have to inform her... and hopefully he wouldn't choose to do so by employing his old, violent tactics. When Kagome made to return to the room, Sesshōmaru's hand grabbed hers, effectively stopping her.
“Mokomoko.”
“Huh?”
“My tail. It is still in your tub.”
“The furry thing?”
“Yes.”
“That’s a tail? ”
He nodded, still holding her hand.
“Will you dry it? I… cannot be without it.”
She sighed inwardly, willing to bet that would take way longer than his hair did. She forced a smile.
“Of course. Let’s go wring it out first.”
Together, they were able to remove the bulk of the moisture from… Mokomoko. Sesshōmaru gave it an impressive shake and by the time Kagome was seated in bed, preparing to oil and blowdry the massive length of fur, it was barely damp. When he happily cuddled into it, Kagome decided it was worth the forty-five minutes it took to blow dry it. Mokomoko seemed to put him at ease, which, under the circumstances, he desperately needed. He settled into her bed with the fur and finally began picking at his bowl of fruit. That was about the time that Kagome realized that he wouldn’t let her out of his sight… which meant she’d be sharing a bed with him.
Besides the fact that she’d never shared a bed with a man before, she already shared her bed with Ikigai. There wasn’t much room left to work with on the little full-sized bed. She huffed as she changed into her pajamas and plunked onto her small plot of mattress next to two rather large dogs, neither of which seemed phased by the tight squeeze.
“Okay. Well, we can talk in the morning. I’m exhausted so I’m gonna get some sleep. You should try to rest, too. If you can’t sleep there’s a bookshelf over there, feel free to read whatever you want.” She gestured towards the far side of her room, opposite of the closet.
Sesshōmaru followed her eyes, nodding as he set his empty fruit bowl down on the bedside table.
When Kagome shut off the light, a gasp cut through the silence.
“It’s okay. Here, let me open the blinds. The moon will give us a little light, okay?” She didn’t wait for him to answer as she stood and twirled the wand that controlled the slats, forcing them open enough to let the moonlight in. It was her turn to gasp as she approached the bed and Sesshōmaru engulfed her in his arms, tucking her against his body and forcing her into becoming his little spoon.
She couldn’t bring herself to protest when she felt him trembling against her. Plus, she did tell him to take his comfort from her. If what he needed was spooning in her bed, she’d just have to put aside her virginal reservations. It wasn’t that big of a deal. And she told herself that several times as she struggled to fall asleep, Sesshōmaru’s firm body pressed against hers, warm breath against her neck and several none-too-subtle inhalations of her hair.
Not a big deal at all.
Notes:
Thanks for reading. <3 Hopefully more updates soon. I've gotten so many comments on my stories my inbox is quite bulgy. I need to go through and respond to everyone. Like I said in the note at the beginning, I've been p sick but I've read your lovely messages and I promise I'll reply ASAP. ♥♥♥
╔═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗
💬Discord: supsteff#0582
╚═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝
Chapter 3: Dogging Footsteps
Notes:
╔»•» 🚩 «•«═════════════╗
-HEED THE TAGS-
╚═════════════.»•» 🚩 «•«╝
*Please note, because this story is so trauma-laden, unlike my less dark stories, NO warnings will be given in the chapter summary when a chapter will contain potentially triggering content*
⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅
What's this? An update? Le gasp!
I'm going to try to be more consistent with updating ~all~ of my WIPs. Sorry for those of you who were enjoying this one and had to wait for so long. Hope it's worth it. uwu
if not don't tell me.
or do. I like criticism.EDIT 11/18/2022: TIL Japanese bathrooms are not typically equipped with shower curtains because the shower is not IN the tub. My mind has been blown. My culturally ignorant white ass has thoroughly bungled this throughout this story bc showering plays a significant role throughout several chapters. So, _for now_ (I’ll likely go back and edit this later, but Japanese bathrooms are wildly different from western ones [HELLO SUPER COOL AND CONVENIENT CONTROL PANELS WHY ARE WE STILL USING FUCKING VALVES] and there’s a lot of fuck ups to edit, here) we’re going to suspend belief and transport a western style bathroom into Kagome’s Japanese apartment. :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Story Info - May Contain Spoilers*
Universe:
- Pre-Episode 193 Canon Compliant
Major Divergences:
- Kagome remains in the modern era instead of returning to the Warring States period after three years.
- Canon era setting altered (Kagome’s “future” time) to take place during 2011-2012 instead of 1996-2000.
- Kagome was born in 1996 instead of 1981.
Setting:
- 21st Century, Japan; Ten years post-episode 192
Tone/Genre:
- Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance, Thriller & Suspense, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Porn, Smut
Tropes:
- Sesshoumaru's Beast, Knotting, Mating Marks, Blood Adoption Ceremony, Kagome is Shippō’s Parent, Sesshoumaru is Rin’s Parent, Alpha Sesshoumaru, Powerful Higurashi Kagome, Aging Up, Hurt Sesshoumaru
Trigger Warnings:
- Rape and Sexual Assault, Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual), Child Abuse, Self-injurious behavior, Excessive or gratuitous violence, Needles, Kidnapping (forceful deprivation of/disregard for personal autonomy), Death or dying, Pregnancy/Childbirth, Miscarriages/Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Racism (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Prejudice, Slavery (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Genocide, Concentration camps (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Suicide, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Alcohol/Drug Withdrawal, Trauma, Suicide Ideation, Scars, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Alcoholism, Nightmares about Traumatic Events, Life-Changing injury, Detailed Medical Talk, Infant Death, Graphic Deaths, Mass Death, Murder, Extreme Violence, Gore, Torture, Mutilation, Cutting of Limbs, Threatening baby/child, Violence against Children, Physical Abuse, Described Blood, Graphic Violence, Drugging Someone Against Their Will, Female Oppression, Forced Breeding, Forced Pregnancy
Fandom Warnings:
- Several Major Character Deaths
- Several Major Character Undeaths
- Several Characters OOC
Published November 14, 2022 ༻❁༺ Chapter Word Count: 3,911
⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅
dogging footsteps
idiom
To appear to follow or accompany one wherever they go:
Chapter Three
Kagome was shocked awake by a loud whimper. In her sleep-addled state, she had assumed it was Ikigai and began feeling around the bed to comfort him, as she usually did when he had some sort of dream that triggered noises.
When she felt the sweat-soaked body of another human she sat straight up, terrified before she realized: not human, inuyōkai.
Sesshōmaru’s entire body was trembling, claws clutching his pelt and head thrashing back and forth. Kagome began stroking his forehead, pushing back his sweaty hair.
“Sesshōmaru, hey. It’s oka–”
She was suddenly on her back, winded from hitting the floor, struggling to breathe beneath the weight of a snarling daiyōkai. His eyes were all she could see in the dark, red and glowing. Despite that, she could see the fear in them. She reached up and stroked his cheek in the spot she knew was sporting jagged, magenta stripes.
“Sesshōmaru. It’s Kagome. I need you to calm down before you hurt me. Everything is okay. You’re safe.”
She somehow managed to keep her voice, but her heart was pounding, the air burning in her lungs. She sighed in relief when the glowing red faded from his eyes. His weight was suddenly gone and Kagome struggled to find him in the dark.
“Sesshōmaru?”
“I could have killed you.”
“Yeah. But you didn’t. Where’d you go? I can’t see. Human eyes, remember?”
“I should leave. You are not safe.”
“And go where? If you leave you won’t be safe. Come here.” Kagome started crawling towards the direction his voice had been coming from. When she felt his fur she continued forward until she found his face in the dark. He was drenched in sweat, still shaking. She couldn’t tell if the moisture on his cheeks was tears or perspiration. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“That’s okay. Come on, let’s get you back in bed.”
“The pup is hiding in the closet. I frightened him.”
“He’ll be okay.”
She helped him to his feet, aid that he surely didn’t need but eagerly accepted, leaning into her touch, grasping her hand with still-shaking claws. His demeanor was worrisome, near catatonic, an unblinking expression on his face, his arms heavy in her grasp as she led him through the dark. Kagome continued guiding Sesshōmaru to the bed, coaxing him onto his back and tucking her quilt around him as if he were a child. She took a seat at his side, pushing a strand of hair behind a pointed ear. He ignored her, staring at the ceiling with that eerie, haunted look in his eye.
“You’re not going to be able to get back to sleep, are you?”
“I do not think so, no. It is okay. I require very little sleep.”
“You’ve been through a lot. I won’t pretend to know anything about daiyōkai anatomy, Sesshōmaru, but I’m pretty sure rest will help you recover. I’ll stay up with you and help you try to relax.”
Kagome wrapped his Mokomoko around him before proceeding to run her hands through his hair the way her mother used to do for her when she had trouble falling back to sleep after nightmares as a kid.
The moon illuminated his features just enough for her to see his eyes slide shut as he leaned into her touch. Ikigai sheepishly emerged from the closet, approaching the bed with caution. Sesshōmaru’s eyes snapped open and fixed on the dog, who froze under his intense gaze. A clawed hand patted the mattress a few times, inviting Ikigai back to bed. He eagerly obliged, tail wagging as he leapt up and curled against Sesshōmaru, his furry white head resting on the daiyōkai’s thighs.
Sesshōmaru settled back against his pillow, eyes once again closed as his claws idly ran through Ikigai’s fur. Kagome resumed her own petting, fingers gently scraping his scalp until a content rumble began to fill the room. His breaths grew shallow, limbs going limp and head falling to the side. Kagome smiled as she quietly climbed back in bed and joined him in sleep.
- ─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•
His breath was hot on her neck, silken hair tangled around her body like a blanket. One leg hung over her hip, an arm curled around her head, pressing her tight to his chest. His body vibrated with that cute, tranquil sound that seemed to rumble through him any time he became deeply relaxed.
Kagome couldn’t bring herself to wake him, so instead she spent several hours trapped in that position, watching the clock tick on from around seven a.m. to nine twenty-seven. About fifteen minutes into her imprisonment, she had at least managed to free a single arm enough to collect her phone from her nightstand, keeping her mind occupied with doomscrolling social media and catching up on some medical journals she’d been meaning to read.
Finally, he groaned, somehow managing to hold her even tighter. His nose began to run along her neck, snuffling sounds accompanying the hot puffs of air as he scented her. He sat up suddenly, placing several dozen centimeters between their bodies. She could feel his eyes on her, so she rolled over. He averted his gaze as soon as she’d met it.
“Good morning, Sesshōmaru.”
He offered a curt nod in response, still not meeting her eyes.
“So, I was thinking that I needed to take you shopping before we can really do anything else. You can’t live in my pajamas forever.” She grinned as his eyes fell on the light pink fabric gracing his body. “The problem is I don’t have anything for you to wear while we shop. Can you stay here while I–”
“No.”
“Alright, I figured as much. I’m going to call my brother, then. He’s about your size, a little smaller but something of his should fit for now. After that we can go get something to eat. I know a really great fruit parlor, they serve tons of different super fresh fruits. Then I’ll take you to the mall and we’ll get you some clothes. Do you think you’re up for it?”
“Is there a reason I would not be?”
“Uhm… Besides the obvious? I know you didn’t much care to hang around human villages five hundred years ago… it’s a lot worse now. Edo is… well, look out the window.”
“This is Edo?”
“Yup. You know what, let’s just go to my family shrine first so we can see if you can tolerate the smells and sounds. Inuyasha hated it. I can’t imagine what it’ll be like for a full yōkai.”
“Hn.”
“Alright, I’m going to shower and we can go right after. Sound good?”
He nodded, eyeing her carefully. Kagome grinned, tying her hair on top of her head as she bounded from the room, making her way to the bathroom across the hall. She squeaked when she turned to close the door and found Sesshōmaru standing in the doorway. Her lips pursed when she remembered he wouldn’t let her out of his sight. She sighed as she opened the door wider and gestured for him to come in.
“This is going to get difficult for me to have any sort of privacy, isn’t it?”
A deep frown pulled at the corners of Sesshōmaru’s mouth.
“I am not proud to follow you around like this. It is pathetic. I… cannot be alone.”
“I’m sorry, I understand. I just… I have to pee.”
He cocked his head.
“You know, relieve myself?”
“Ah.” He cleared his throat. “I have also been struggling with that dilemma since last night.”
“Well, hm… this is a toilet. You go first. Uhm… do you usually stand when you go?”
He nodded.
“Okay, well, if you’re standing, lift the lid and the seat. If you piss on my toilet-seat I’m not going to be happy. Got it?”
He quirked an eyebrow in response.
“I am certain I will somehow manage.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll remember that.” She shot him a glare. “I finally escaped living with men. I’m not dealing with pee on seats or falling into the toilet again. I’ll make you use a newspaper like Ikigai.”
He glowered at her.
“You are lecturing me when you have fallen into this contraption?”
She returned the glower.
“Anyways. Pee in the water, close the lid, push this lever down, it flushes the pee away. Simple.”
“Simple? What if I fall in?”
He deadpanned and Kagome stared at him for a beat, completely bewildered.
“Did you just make a joke?”
An eyebrow raised in response.
“Hey, listen, you try going to the bathroom in the middle of the night, in the dark, and sit on a toilet that your little brother forgot to close the seat to, then you can make fun of me.”
“I can see in the dark.”
Kagome rolled her eyes, sighing in exasperation.
“Just go pee!”
“Do you intend to observe?”
She huffed, folding her arms and turning her back to him. Kagome was glad that her back was turned a moment later when she heard Sesshōmaru sigh in relief. She came close to losing the battle to suppress a childish grin, her lips rolling between her teeth to prevent a snicker from escaping.
The poor inuyōkai’s stream remained steady for a solid minute. Kagome kicked herself for not asking if he needed to go the night before, especially after he drank all that juice.
Finally, the sound of the toilet’s lid closing followed by the flush met her ears.
“Is it safe to turn around?”
“Hn.”
“Alright, so, after you’re done, this is the sink. You use these handles to turn it on, kind of like the shower. This is soap, it kills bacteria… uhm… I’ll explain it later. It just cleans your hands so you’re not getting ick all over my apartment.”
He nodded as he washed his hands, drying them on a towel that Kagome promptly handed him.
“Great. Okay, can I pin your hair up so that we don’t get it wet? We just washed it last night and I really don’t want to go through the drying process again.”
Another nod.
“Sit on the toilet for me. You’re way too tall.”
He did as she asked and Kagome began pinning his massive length of hair to the top of his head with several large barrettes that she’d dug from the depths of her bathroom drawer. She put her shower cap over the gathered hair, though there wasn’t enough space to cover his entire head, it at least covered the bulk of his length.
“There! Perfect. So, you get in the shower first, alright? Then I can pee with at least the illusion of a little privacy.”
He watched her as she shuffled around the small room, gathering towels and hanging them on hooks just outside of the tub. She turned the shower on and pulled back the curtain, gesturing for the daiyōkai to get in. She turned her back to him again as he undressed, keeping it turned until she heard the shower curtain close.
Finally, Kagome peed for the first time since the previous afternoon. She had to suppress her own sigh of relief as she took nearly as long to empty her bladder as Sesshōmaru had. She decided then that they’d need to work on their communication if they were going to survive the complicated situation they’d found themselves in.
“Is it okay for me to get in now, Sesshōmaru?”
“Yes.”
She took a deep breath as she undressed. It occurred to her then that maybe they could have showered separately.
“Uhm, you don’t mind showering together, right? I wasn’t really thinking. After last night–”
“Miko, get in.”
She cleared her throat as she finished undressing and stepped over the edge of the tub. Her entire mouth went dry when her eyes fell on the sight that awaited her. Sesshōmaru stood with his back to her, revealing the magenta slashes that wrapped around his hips, angling down towards his incredibly toned ass.
Slowly, his head turned, eyes narrowed as he glared at her over his shoulder. It hit her then that he could likely smell arousal… and it was hard not to get aroused when presented with such a perfect specimen of male nudity. Her eyes widened, face flushing hot beneath his knowing gaze. He had the audacity to smirk at her.
Kagome scowled as she grabbed a loofah and began aggressively washing herself, avoiding eye contact for the remainder of the shower. When they’d both finished washing their bodies and Kagome had rinsed the conditioner from her hair, she stepped outside of the shower and began to dry off.
“You can enjoy the water for a while if you want. I’m going to blowdry my hair and start getting ready to leave.”
His lack of response told her it had been an agreeable suggestion, so she started working on her hair. She was so absorbed in the task that she was barely aware of Sesshōmaru when he turned off the water and settled on the edge of her tub after drying himself off.
If she had been, she would’ve noticed that he was watching her, enraptured as she straightened her hair. When she began softly curling her ends, he stood and started hovering over her, observing the curling iron as his nostrils flared and nose twitched.
“You are burning your hair.”
Kagome’s eyes flicked to his in the mirror.
“Worth it. It’s not that bad. I use enough serums to counteract it.”
She smacked his hand away when he made to pick up one of her cooling curls.
“Hey! Don’t touch. I need them to set before I brush them out.”
“Hmph.”
He glared at her, clearly offended. His glare deepened when she plucked her straightener from his hands after he’d picked it up to further inspect.
“Here. Have my phone.” Kagome tapped her screen a few times, pulling up a digital copy of a history book she’d found for him while she’d been waiting for him to wake up. “This is a history book. You can catch up on what’s happened over the centuries.”
She gave him a quick, wordless demonstration of navigating the app before handing him the phone, confident that he could figure it out on his own. She was relieved when he fell silent and still as he read, allowing her to finish her hair and makeup.
“Alright, come on. I need to get dressed.”
He followed her without looking up from her phone, settling on her bed as she rummaged through her closet, collecting a high-waisted, calf-length, A-line skirt and a baggy white T-shirt to tuck into it.
After dressing, she settled behind Sesshōmaru on the bed and began removing the barrettes from his hair before running a brush through it. He set the phone down as she worked, closing his eyes and leaning into her touch. The increasingly familiar rumble quietly vibrated from his body as she separated it into sections and fashioned it into a long, thick braid.
“You take liberties with my person, miko.”
She scoffed.
“You’re one to talk. I’m only trying to help.”
“You make the assumption that my statement was a complaint. It was merely an observation. You may proceed.”
He crossed his arms against his bare chest, nose haughtily tilted towards the ceiling.
Kagome–unsettled by his blunt, abrasive personality–tied off the braid with slightly shaking, nervous hands as she responded.
“Oh. Uhm, okay. Well, let me see if I can find something for you to wear. Shoes are definitely going to be a problem but I should have some more joggers in here somewhere… and maybe a T-shirt that’s less pink.”
She had to do a deep-dive into her winter clothes box, but she managed to find a pair of black joggers that wouldn’t be tight on him. They would definitely be short, but considering it was summer, the capri look wasn’t all that odd. The shirt situation was a little more complicated. She didn’t have very many oversized shirts, and the ones that were baggy on her small frame would still be snug on Sesshōmaru. Reluctantly, she emerged with one of her father’s old UTokyo T-shirts. She frowned as she handed it over.
“There is sadness in your scent, miko.”
“Oh. Sorry. This was my father’s shirt.”
There was recognition in his eyes as they flicked to hers. She knew she didn't need to mention that her father had passed away. That look he gave her said he was all too familiar with the scent and sight of grief.
“I see. It was all that you could find?”
“Yeah.”
“I do not mind wearing the shirt from last night.”
“No, it’s okay. Just… be careful with it. I don’t have much left of him.”
“I assure you, I understand. Thank you for your trust.”
“Well, I’ve seen you fight an army in white clothes and come out clean at the end of the day… so I think this will be safe with you for a few hours.”
They exchanged smirks as Sesshōmaru accepted the offered clothes. Kagome turned her back to give him some privacy as he dressed. Once finished, Kagome led him to the front door where her shoes resided in a cubby. The only thing that would even accommodate part of his foot were her Adidas slides, so that’s what he was stuck with until they could get to the shrine. She hoped that Sōta's shoes would be more accommodating... although, the sharp toenails might need trimming first. Kagome slid into her white converse, collected her purse, and attached Ikigai’s leash to his collar before leading him and Sesshōmaru outside, locking the door behind them.
Ikigai relieved his bladder and bowels in the grass before Kagome settled him on his favorite blanket in the backseat of her Toyota. Sesshōmaru cringed as Kagome collected the dog’s waste in a bag.
“What are you doing, miko? That is… repulsive.”
“Well I’m not going to leave it here for someone to step in.”
She tossed an annoyed glare at Sesshōmaru as she discarded the bag in a nearby trashcan.
“Hn.”
Sesshōmaru slipped into the passenger seat, buckling himself in and attempting to roll down the window. His brow furrowed when it didn’t work.
“The car needs to be on before you can roll it down. Give me a second.”
Kagome plopped into the driver’s seat, taking a pump of hand sanitizer from her keyring, prompting more nose wrinkles from the daiyōkai.
“That scent may be more offensive than the pup’s ordure.”
Kagome laughed as she started the car.
“You’re just full of complaints, aren’t you?”
“Hmph.”
“You can roll down the window now. Do you mind music?”
“I have no objections.”
“Good. If it does start to bother you though, let me know. The drive isn’t too far. We’ll be there in about fifteen minutes.”
Time passed quickly and within a few songs, Kagome's Toyota pulled up in front of her family shrine. Sesshōmaru's eyes were wide, recognition settling in and prompting his gaze to dart around curiously.
"So much has changed."
"Yeah, that's exactly how I felt when I ended up in the past. I bet it's weirder seeing how it looks now after living back then, though."
"It is… indescribable. I have never not been present to witness the changes as they're made. It is... jarring, to see it all at once rather than gradually emerging over time."
"Is it too much? We can go back to the apartment."
"No. It is fine. The scents are… overwhelming. The sounds make it very difficult to focus. I think exposure is likely the best way to overcome such inconveniences.”
Kagome put a hand on his arm, stopping him as he made to open the car door.
“Listen, my family… they might be a lot for you. Gramps… he’s probably going to throw Sacred Sutras at you and say a bunch of nasty stuff. Just… ignore him. He used to do it to Inuyasha all the time. Sōta was really close with Inuyasha and he’s the only one here that knows you’ve tried to kill me… so he might not be super friendly. Mama will love you no matter what. I’m not really worried about her. But she might be a bit much for you to handle–”
“Kagome. It will be fine. I assure you, I will not harm your family if that is what concerns you.”
“What? No! I’m worried they’re going to drive you nuts.”
He cocked his head.
“Annoy you.”
“Miko, I traveled with Jaken for centuries. You underestimate my tolerance for annoying creatures.”
“Fair point.” Kagome smirked before taking a deep breath. “Alright, let’s go, then.”
Sesshōmaru opened the door and started up the steps, Kagome and Ikigai lagging behind. He was looking around curiously when Kagome made it to the top of the stairs, his focus mostly zeroed in on the Goshinboku.
“This was Inuyasha’s Forest.”
“It was.”
“The Bone-Eater’s well is here.”
“Yeah. That’s how I ended up in your era.”
“Hn.”
He turned around, gazing at the Tokyo skyline in the distance.
“The structures… they are very tall.”
“Mhm. They’re called skyscrapers.”
“Aptly named.”
“Are you okay?”
“I am fine, miko. I will tell you if that changes. Stop inquiring.”
“Sorry. I just… I don’t want to make things worse for you.”
His eyes slanted towards her, softening a bit as he took a deep breath.
“Kagome, I appreciate all you are doing. You have freed me. I am not so weak that I cannot manage.”
“I don’t think you’re weak. I think you’ve been through a lot… and this,” she gestured to the city with her arms. “is a lot. ”
“Someone is approaching. They are of your blood. Female.”
Right on cue, Mama Higurashi partially emerged from the front door, drying her hands with a kitchen towel.
“Kagome! What a surprise! Who’s your friend, dear?”
“My mother. Come on.” Kagome mumbled as she took Sesshōmaru’s hand, leading him towards the house. His fingers wrapped gently around hers, causing a flush to warm her face. She cleared her throat as they reached the front door. “Mama, this is Inuyasha’s brother, Sesshōmaru. It’s a long story. I was hoping he could borrow some of Sōta’s clothes until we can go shopping later today.”
“Higurashi-san.” Sesshōmaru gave a nod in greeting, prompting Mama Higurashi to bow at the waist.
“Please, call me Niya. It’s very nice to meet you, Sesshōmaru. I’m sure Sōta won’t mind if you borrow his clothes.” She directed the last half of her words to Kagome. “He and Grandpa are out purchasing supplies for the shrine’s summer festival this weekend.”
“Oh, right, I forgot. Did you guys need help?”
“No, dear, you’re busy with school. We wouldn’t dream of keeping you from your studies.”
Kagome laughed nervously.
“Yeah... so, uhm, about that… I think we should probably sit down for some tea.”
This was a discussion Kagome had not been looking forward to. She'd spent a good portion of the morning thinking over her decision, concluding it was definitely necessary to take some time off from school. She'd already contacted her guidance counselor about canceling the classes she'd signed up to take for the upcoming autumn semester. Disappointing her mother had dread churning in her stomach. Niya seemed to sense something was very wrong, her usual smile not quite reaching her eyes, her tone apprehensive when she responded.
“Oh, dear.”
Notes:
Thanks for reading <3
I say that too often... but... what else *should* I say? Other than beg for kudos, comments, and cookies like a doggo desperate for dopamine.
Mmm. Alliteration. That deserves a kudo... right? RIGHT?
╔═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗
💬Discord: supsteff#0582
╚═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝
Chapter 4: Give a Dog a Bad Name and Hang Him
Notes:
╔»•» 🚩 «•«═════════════╗
-HEED THE TAGS-
╚═════════════.»•» 🚩 «•«╝
*Please note, because this story is so trauma-laden, unlike my less dark stories, NO warnings will be given in the chapter summary when a chapter will contain potentially triggering content*
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Story Info - May Contain Spoilers*
Universe:
- Pre-Episode 193 Canon Compliant
Major Divergences:
- Kagome remains in the modern era instead of returning to the Warring States period after three years.
- Canon era setting altered (Kagome’s “future” time) to take place during 2011-2012 instead of 1996-2000.
- Kagome was born in 1996 instead of 1981.
Setting:
- 21st Century, Japan; Ten years post-episode 192
Tone/Genre:
- Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance, Thriller & Suspense, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Porn, Smut
Tropes:
- Sesshoumaru's Beast, Knotting, Mating Marks, Blood Adoption Ceremony, Kagome is Shippō’s Parent, Sesshoumaru is Rin’s Parent, Alpha Sesshoumaru, Powerful Higurashi Kagome, Aging Up, Hurt Sesshoumaru
Trigger Warnings:
- Rape and Sexual Assault, Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual), Child Abuse, Self-injurious behavior, Excessive or gratuitous violence, Needles, Kidnapping (forceful deprivation of/disregard for personal autonomy), Death or dying, Pregnancy/Childbirth, Miscarriages/Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Racism (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Prejudice, Slavery (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Genocide, Concentration camps (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Suicide, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Alcohol/Drug Withdrawal, Trauma, Suicide Ideation, Scars, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Alcoholism, Nightmares about Traumatic Events, Life-Changing injury, Detailed Medical Talk, Infant Death, Graphic Deaths, Mass Death, Murder, Extreme Violence, Gore, Torture, Mutilation, Cutting of Limbs, Threatening baby/child, Violence against Children, Physical Abuse, Described Blood, Graphic Violence, Drugging Someone Against Their Will, Female Oppression, Forced Breeding, Forced Pregnancy
Fandom Warnings:
- Several Major Character Deaths
- Several Major Character Undeaths
- Several Characters OOC
Published November 15, 2022 ༻❁༺ Chapter Word Count: 3,270
⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅
give a dog a bad name and hang him
proverb
If a person once gets a bad reputation, people will always have a bad opinion of him, whether or not this is deserved and whether or not the person changes:
Chapter Four
Three cups of tea later and Kagome had filled her mother in on how exactly she’d come to find Sesshōmaru and the gargantuan task they would soon face, sifting through hundreds of yōkai in an attempt to decipher whether or not they were a threat… and what to do with the ones that were. Her mother seemed to be taking it as well as ever… until Kagome got to the part where she was planning to take a leave of absence from university.
She couldn’t recall a time she’d ever seen her mother so… troubled. She had been staring into her cooled cup of tea for several moments, not saying a single word. She seemed to be gearing up to say something, but wouldn’t have the chance. Her lips pursed as Sōta and Grandpa Higurashi boisterously crashed through the doors, arms full of bags and boxes. The duo froze upon seeing Sesshōmaru seated at the family table.
“Demon! Demon! Sōta, hurry, go to the shed and fetch my ofudas!”
“Grandpa! Stop it. This is Inuyasha’s brother, Sesshōmaru.”
Sōta’s eyes narrowed.
“Oh, yeah? That’s interesting. Where’s Inuyasha?” Sōta set down his parcels and advanced on Sesshōmaru, towering over the seated–and unaffected–daiyōkai.
“Sōta! Be nice. Please. It’s a really long story. I’m sure Mama can fill you in. For now, I’ve got to take Sesshōmaru to get some clothes. Can he borrow some of yours so he doesn’t have to wear my old pajamas to the mall?”
“No way!”
“Ugh! Sōta, don’t be a brat. At least try to act your age. He’s borrowing your clothes whether you like it or not.”
“Why’d you bother asking then? Jeez, Kagome. We barely ever see you and then you show up with the asshole that tri–”
“Sōta.” It was Niya who spoke up that time. Kagome had never heard her mother’s tone so clipped, so serious… and still, Niya’s smile remained. It sent chills up Kagome’s spine. “Go help Grandpa put the festival supplies away. We’ll discuss this later. Sesshōmaru is borrowing your clothes.”
“Yes, Mama.”
Kagome cleared her throat and stood from the table, surprised when Sesshōmaru grabbed her hand as soon as she’d started leading him to her brother’s room. His fingers grasped hers gently, delicately, and she couldn’t help thinking it was amazing how many deaths those hands had caused… and yet, they were holding hers as if clasped around fragile glass.
He didn’t release her hand once in Sōta’s room, continuing to hold it as she spoke.
“I’m really sorry about that, Sesshōmaru.”
“There is no need, Kagome. You must stop worrying so much.”
Kagome laughed.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I just… I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I haven’t been able to relax since I found you.”
“You have very strong maternal instincts, Kagome. It is admirable. But I am not a pup. I do not need your protection."
"I'm really sorry."
"Stop apologizing."
“Right, yeah.” Kagome took a deep breath. “I’ll try to stop babying you so much. I know it’s probably really annoying. You just… nevermind. Let’s find you some clothes.”
She couldn’t bring herself to admit that she could see a lot of her formerly broken self in Sesshōmaru. Of course, what he was experiencing was so much worse, but she could feel his sense of loss, see it in his eyes.
It was an all too familiar look, one she’d gotten well acquainted with through her mirror after time had separated her from her friends. Haunted. Catatonic. Pained. She couldn’t let him feel all of that alone. Her eyes fell on the big white dog seated by her foot, tail wagging, mouth hanging open as always. Ikigai had gotten her through the worst of her trauma. She needed to be that for Sesshōmaru. He didn’t have anyone else anymore.
She would be Sesshōmaru’s Ikigai.
After several minutes of picking through Sōta’s closet and drawers, Kagome had put together something that would fit Sesshōmaru’s tall, lithe form.
“Alright, this should do it. His sandals will definitely fit you better than mine do.”
“The material is… strange. It does not smell natural.”
“Yeah, unfortunately, synthetic fibers are way too common nowadays. I try not to buy them now that I can afford nicer things.”
“Hn.”
“One problem. I think my mom can help us with it, though. Come on.”
Sesshōmaru slid his hand into Kagome’s again, an action he seemed to be growing fond of. She wondered what it meant to him, if he understood what male and female hand holding usually meant between humans. Kagome was sure it was just a comfort thing for him. She’d been trying not to think too much about it, treating it more like holding Sōta’s hand when they were younger.
She pointedly ignored her mother’s wide eyed reaction to it when they’d entered the kitchen.
“Hey, Mama? Do you have any of that bolt of nice, silk cloth left? The one we made our nagajuban from for New Years last year?”
Niya forced her eyes to Kagome’s face.
“I think I do! What do you need it for, dear?”
“Oh, uhm, well… Sesshōmaru doesn’t have anything to wear… uhm, under Sōta’s clothes. I figured he’s used to fundoshi anyways so the silk will work in a pinch.”
“Very clever, Kagome. Yes, I think I have enough so that he could fashion a fundoshi from it. Let me just go check.”
“Thank you, Mama.”
Niya re-emerged from her bedroom a moment later with the remainder of the bolt of white silk, handing it off to her daughter with a smile and a pair of scissors. Sesshōmaru snatched it from Kagome and began inspecting it. She rolled her eyes.
“Is it up to your standards, milord?”
He scowled.
“You sound like Jaken.”
His scowl morphed into a pained frown for the shortest of seconds before he schooled his expression.
“Sorr–”
“Miko, that sounded suspiciously like the beginning of another apology.”
Kagome gulped, laughing nervously. Sesshōmaru ignored her as he unraveled the bolt of silk and cut an appropriate amount with his claws, handing it back to Niya with an appreciative nod of the head.
“You have my gratitude, Higurashi-san.”
“Of course! It’s Niya, though, remember?” Her smile remained but her eyes were on Sesshōmaru’s sharp claws. Kagome just knew that Sōta had spilled the beans about Sesshōmaru’s attempts on her life. The look of concern in her mother’s eyes said it all.
“Hey, Mama?”
“Yes, Kagome?”
“I just wanted to remind you of what you always told me when I was little–that people can change and always deserve second chances when they’re willing to make the effort.”
Her mother’s smile turned knowing, reaching her eyes and replacing all the worry that had been there. Sesshōmaru’s head cocked as he looked between the pair.
“Of course, dear. You just be careful when you go back to that horrible place where you found Sesshōmaru, okay?” Niya sighed, pulling Kagome into a hug. “I thought my days of worrying about losing you to supernatural dangers were over. It’s like you’re fifteen again. My baby. Please, Kagome, promise me that you’ll be careful?”
“Higurashi-san… Niya. you have my word that I will protect your daughter with my life. There is no need for you to worry. Though, I think you may underestimate Kagome’s powers as a miko. She is by far the most powerful one that I had encountered in over a millennium of living. She is more than capable of protecting herself.”
Kagome blinked a few times, staring at Sesshōmaru and the earnest expression on his face as he held her mother’s gaze. Niya’s eyes watered as she released Kagome from the hug, still grasping her hands.
“My. That is certainly reassuring. There has never been an occasion for me to see her powers. I’ve always known my girl was strong, but to hear it from the mouth of a daiyōkai is… well, it puts my heart at ease. I’m still holding you to your promise, though. You take care of her.”
“Mama–”
“My word is one of the most valuable things I can offer, second only to my loyalty. Your daughter has earned both. Rest assured, I will keep her safe.”
Kagome fought to keep her jaw from going slack. She looked from his aloof expression to the watery-eyed one her mother wore. Niya wiped a stray tear from her lash line before responding.
“I trust you, Sesshōmaru. Now, you kids go have fun and get something to eat before going back to that awful place.”
Kagome gave her mother one more hug before leading Sesshōmaru to her childhood room to get changed. He froze when he stepped inside.
“What is it?”
“I… Inuyasha’s scent is here. Faint, but it remains. I did not anticipate it.”
“Oh wow. It’s been ten years since he’s been here. Your sense of smell is insane.”
“There must be something here that he has been in close contact with. It seems to be coming from behind that door.”
Kagome frowned.
“It’s probably his hat. He hid his ears with it every time he came to visit. I put it on the top shelf in there so I wouldn’t see it. It hurt too much to remember.”
“Forgive me. I should not have brought it up.”
“No, really, it’s fine. I’m okay now. It’s been a long time. I stuck it up there after the well closed. Go ahead and get dressed. I’m going to get some old textbooks together for you to read later.”
“Do not leave.”
“Oh, no. I’m not. They’re in a box under my bed.”
“Hn.”
Kagome turned and began rummaging for the textbooks as Sesshōmaru started to undress. Once he’d donned Sōta’s borrowed wardrobe, Kagome loaded up an old backpack with at least a dozen books for him to peruse.
“Kay, we should be all set. I’m starving so let’s get a move on.”
Kagome yelped when she opened her bedroom door to find Sōta stationed there, arms folded and scowl fixed on his face. It deepened when his eyes fell to Kagome’s hand, which was yet again clutched within Sesshōmaru’s.
“Seriously? You’re holding hands with him? Aren’t his hands like… poisonous? That’s what Inuyasha said, that he sprayed you with poison, like you were just some pest. What is wrong with you, Kagome? How could you betray Inuyasha like this?”
Kagome’s chin wobbled, tears welling in her eyes and Sōta immediately regretted everything he’d said. He rubbed the back of his neck as he averted his eyes.
“Listen, Sis, I’m sorry…I didn’t mean–”
“I know. It’s okay. You can’t understand, Sōta.”
His anger flared again, scowl returning with a vengeance.
“Yeah, you always say that. It would be nice if once in a while you’d try to explain instead of shutting me out. You haven’t been the same since the well closed. And this … I just don’t get it, Kagome. Inuyasha made him sound like a monster and you brought him to our home. ”
Kagome could feel Sesshōmaru’s hand trembling in hers.
“I am not a monster.” his voice sounded small, so unlike anything she’d ever heard come out of his mouth. Kagome shot Sōta a glare and slammed her bedroom door in his face, locking it behind her. She turned to Sesshōmaru, who had his eyes and jaw clenched, his hand still shaking in hers.
“Hey, Sesshōmaru? He didn’t mean it, alright?”
“He did.”
A tear managed to escape from the tight squeeze of his eyelids. Kagome brought her hand to his cheek. She moved to wipe it away when a memory struck her, prompting her to impulsively stand on her tiptoes and lick his tear away instead. His eyes fluttered open, wide as he assessed her.
“Why did you do that?”
She immediately flushed crimson, heat spreading from neck to scalp as she nervously averted her gaze. Once she’d worked up the nerve to respond, her voice came out quiet, timid.
“Inuyasha used to do it sometimes when I was crying. I'm sorry, I thought–”
Kagome gasped when Sesshōmaru lifted her into his arms, Mokomoko seeming to manifest from nowhere as he wrapped her in it and settled on the floor with his legs crossed, Kagome nestled in his lap. She was frozen, eyes wide as his nose traced circles along her temple. She relaxed, allowing him to do… whatever it was he was doing. It seemed to be helping him and it wasn’t hurting her, so she figured she’d just roll with the punches… or, in this case, nuzzles. He continued on for several minutes before breaking his silence.
“Kagome?” His voice was a soft murmur against her skin.
“Yes?”
“Why are you helping me?”
“I… why wouldn’t I?”
He scoffed.
“What was the phrase you used earlier? ‘ Besides the obvious? ’ Kagome, you and I hardly know one another. I have done you more harm than good in the past, as your brother has pointed out.”
“That’s not true. Sōta doesn’t know what he’s talking about, Sesshōmaru. He wasn’t there. You saved my life… multiple times.”
“I also attempted to take your life… multiple times.”
“Yeah, but you failed. The things you saved me from… Sesshōmaru, I don’t think they would have failed.” Kagome shuddered as memories of Mukotsu came to mind.
“I do not know whether I should be insulted or relieved.”
“Definitely not insulted. You’re still the most powerful yōkai I’ve ever known. The circumstances were just different. Plus, I like to think your attempts were half-hearted.”
“Miko, I tried to melt you with my Dokkasō.”
“Okay, yeah. Well, whatever. You weren’t the first to try to kill me. Not the last, either. Most of my friends tried once or twice. Even Inuyasha. In the end you did what was right.”
“I just do not understand your motives. You have gone out of your way for my comfort.”
“Sesshōmaru, I don’t know what kind of people you’ve known in the past but I found you in seriously traumatizing conditions, you’re hundreds of years into a future where your own kind aren’t a part of the population and so much has changed that you wouldn’t be able to recognize the landscape. What did you expect me to do? Leave you there? Let you out and tell you to fend for yourself?”
“It is likely what I would have done.”
“Oh, please. I don’t buy that for a second. I think when we first met you would’ve, but I haven’t forgotten everything you did during that final battle with Naraku. You changed.”
“I suppose. I would not have bathed you, fed you… held you, though. I would not have indulged your need to take comfort in my person. You have done all of that and more.”
“Someone once told me I have ‘very strong maternal instincts’. Maybe it has something to do with that? What do you think?” Kagome grinned when a small, crooked smirk tilted the corner of his lips.
The loud grumble of her stomach interrupted the moment, as it was wont to do.
“Hn. I think that we should obtain food for you.”
“And you!”
“I do not eat human food.”
“Would you stop saying that! You eat fruit. I’m taking you for fruit.”
Kagome hopped to her feet and pulled at Sesshōmaru’s hands. He eventually obliged her, not releasing hers after he’d stood.
“It is not beneficial to my health as it is yours. I merely enjoy the taste. I still would like to know how it is that you came by such information.”
He eyed her suspiciously, scowling when all she offered was a nonchalant shrug. She still wasn’t ready to bring up Rin. She wasn’t sure how he’d react. So again, she dodged and deflected.
“So… what is beneficial to your health?”
“It is better that you do not know.”
“That’s… ominous. I mean, I kind of have to know, Sesshōmaru. We need to make sure you stay healthy. If fruit isn’t going to do it, you’ve gotta tell me what will.”
“Yōki.”
“So… other yōkai.”
“In a sense, yes.”
“Well, I guess we figured out what to do with the yōkai that we can’t let loose on the world.”
Sesshōmaru snorted.
“Feed them to me? I typically refrain from draining lesser yōkai to the point of death unless I am in battle. I just… do not know what I will do in the future, Kagome. I do not have access to yōki here as I did in the past. I have not sensed a single yōkai since we left the prison.”
“We’ll figure something out. Are you like… starving or anything right now?”
“No. I… consumed several lesser yōkai when you released me from my cell.”
“ Oh. That’s why you looked so much healthier when I woke up.”
“Yes.”
“Well, you can do that again today, I guess.”
“I suppose so. The amount that I consumed yesterday was plenty to sustain me for several days, perhaps weeks considering I am not expending as much yōki as I would have in the past.”
“Okay, that’s good. At least we know where to find some yōki for now. We’ll have to figure something out for the long term, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”
“Hn. Agreed. We will take care of your needs now. That sound… it bothers me.”
He glared at her stomach when it gurgled again.
“Oh? Too human for you?” Her smile fell when she noticed his frown.
“No. It reminds me of Rin. She was starving when she began traveling with me. I was not well acquainted with human eating habits for the first several weeks and she never complained when hungry. I began to notice that sound would occur before she would go off to forage. I made sure that Jaken prevented that noise from occurring once I’d realized what it was.”
“You were a good father to her. When she started following you… that’s when I noticed you changing. You’re a better man now, Sesshōmaru. Rin is proof of that.”
“I am no man, Kagome. That is a fact that is best you do not forget.”
“You know what I meant, baka. Come on, I'm seriously getting hungry."
Kagome poked her head outside of her bedroom and looked around. She was relieved that Sōta had retreated, taking advantage of his absence to escape without another confrontation. Since her mother had already said goodbye, they were clear to make a clean getaway. At least, Kagome thought that they were. She screamed as they stepped outside and Grandpa Higurashi jumped out at them, smacking Sesshōmaru with ofudas and commanding that he begone. The daiyōkai sighed audibly.
"Gramps! What is wrong with you? How would you like it if I smacked your friends with Sacred Sutras every time you invited them over! Keep it up and I swear that's exactly what I'm going to start doing!"
Sesshōmaru's hand was suddenly in hers again. She could feel the tremble in it, instantly igniting something inside of her. She was furious. She'd brought him home with her under the assumption that it would be less stressful than walking around the mall. So far, her brother and grandfather had thoroughly ensured that Sesshōmaru leave the Higurashi household feeling nothing short of traumatized.
Kagome growled, grabbing the ofudas that were still stuck to Sesshōmaru and ripping them up.
“I’m really disappointed in you, Gramps.”
She turned on her heel without another word, dragging Ikigai and Sesshōmaru behind her as she stomped off towards her car, entirely unaware of the awed, appreciative way that the daiyōkai's gaze had settled on her.
Chapter 5: Helping a Lame Dog Over a Stile
Notes:
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-HEED THE TAGS-
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*Please note, because this story is so trauma-laden, unlike my less dark stories, NO warnings will be given in the chapter summary when a chapter will contain potentially triggering content*
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Wee bit tired these past few days. hopefully this came out alright. Will be responding to comments soon™ but for now ima just dump a few chapters of different stories. Or maybe all I'll post today is this. Idk. Feelin a bit meh. ;~;
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Story Info - May Contain Spoilers*
Universe:
- Pre-Episode 193 Canon Compliant
Major Divergences:
- Kagome remains in the modern era instead of returning to the Warring States period after three years.
- Canon era setting altered (Kagome’s “future” time) to take place during 2011-2012 instead of 1996-2000.
- Kagome was born in 1996 instead of 1981.
Setting:
- 21st Century, Japan; Ten years post-episode 192
Tone/Genre:
- Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance, Thriller & Suspense, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Porn, Smut
Tropes:
- Sesshoumaru's Beast, Knotting, Mating Marks, Blood Adoption Ceremony, Kagome is Shippō’s Parent, Sesshoumaru is Rin’s Parent, Alpha Sesshoumaru, Powerful Higurashi Kagome, Aging Up, Hurt Sesshoumaru
Trigger Warnings:
- Rape and Sexual Assault, Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual), Child Abuse, Self-injurious behavior, Excessive or gratuitous violence, Needles, Kidnapping (forceful deprivation of/disregard for personal autonomy), Death or dying, Pregnancy/Childbirth, Miscarriages/Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Racism (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Prejudice, Slavery (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Genocide, Concentration camps (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Suicide, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Alcohol/Drug Withdrawal, Trauma, Suicide Ideation, Scars, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Alcoholism, Nightmares about Traumatic Events, Life-Changing injury, Detailed Medical Talk, Infant Death, Graphic Deaths, Mass Death, Murder, Extreme Violence, Gore, Torture, Mutilation, Cutting of Limbs, Threatening baby/child, Violence against Children, Physical Abuse, Described Blood, Graphic Violence, Drugging Someone Against Their Will, Female Oppression, Forced Breeding, Forced Pregnancy
Fandom Warnings:
- Several Major Character Deaths
- Several Major Character Undeaths
- Several Characters OOC
Published November 16, 2022 ༻❁༺ Chapter Word Count: 2,614
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helping a lame dog over a stile
idiom
To help or assist someone in need in some fundamental or basic way:
Chapter Five
Kagome gathered her bearings for a moment, taking deep, cleansing breaths and falling into a quiet state of meditation as she and Sesshōmaru sat in her parked car, still in front of the shrine. Ikigai poked his head into the front seat, whimpering as his tongue lapped at her cheek. She couldn’t help but smile at her longtime companion, resting her forehead against his furry one and nuzzling his wet nose.
“I’m okay, Iki. Thanks for your concern, though." She sighed. "But what are we gonna do with you now?”
He cocked his head, ears perked and hot puffs of puppy breath meeting Kagome’s face as he softly panted.
Initially, she’d planned to ask her family to watch over him while she took Sesshōmaru on their excursion, but with how things had gone she didn’t really want to pick him up afterwards. One visit was more than enough for the daiyōkai to endure in a single day.
So once she’d calmed herself and plastered a smile on her face, the first stop was her trusted doggy daycare center. Ikigai was due for some grooming, anyways, which could be done while he was boarded.
After that was taken care of, she parked in a garage next to the mall. Sesshōmaru had been silent since they’d left the shrine, but Kagome could feel the tension dissipate from both of their bodies with the more distance she’d put between them and her childhood home. They sat in the parking garage for a while, quiet. When she turned to apologize, Sesshōmaru shot her a knowing look that nearly caused her to swallow her tongue. Her smirk grew into a bonafide smile when Sesshōmaru smirked in turn. Before taking him inside, Kagome pulled a few strands of his hair over his ears and slid a pair of sunglasses onto his face.
"There! A little less conspicuous."
"What have you put over my eyes?"
"Sunglasses. Humans use them to deflect the glare of the sun on bright days."
"Your weak eyes are still capable of seeing through this…contraption?"
Kagome snorted.
"Uh-huh. Guess our eyes aren’t as weak as you thought." She winked as she unbuckled her seatbelt and slid from the driver’s seat, Sesshōmaru following suit and slipping his hand into hers as she guided him through the mall.
He was taking the sights, sounds, and smells in stride, attention quickly alternating around the environment and nostrils flaring. It wasn’t until they’d made it to the main floor of the building that he’d had to stop to take it all in. Sesshōmaru was filled with wide-eyed wonder as he looked around the indoor courtyard’s atrium, head tilting back to take in the skylights many floors above. His lips parted slightly and Kagome resisted the urge to take his sunglasses off just to see the look in his eyes.
“There’s a garden up there. It overlooks Tokyo Station. The view is incredible. If you want, after we’re done shopping I can show you.”
“Yes.”
Kagome smiled as she took his hand, aware his focus would not be on following her. The last thing she needed was for Sesshōmaru to get lost. It hit her then that she wouldn’t even have a way of contacting him.
“Sesshōmaru, if we somehow manage to get separated I want you to come back to this spot, okay? I’ll wait for you here so I’m easy to find. You do the same.”
“Hn. I highly doubt I would ever lose you, miko. Even amongst all of these scents yours is easily tracked. You smell of strawberries and summer grass. It is clean. There are not many clean scents in this time. All of these humans smell… peculiar.”
“Better than humans smelled in your era, I’m sure.”
His nose wrinkled.
“Most certainly. I had not even realized the distinct lack of that particular odor. I doubt I would have noticed even if it were present, however. It has been replaced by equally offensive, indescribable smells that hang in the air. It reminds me of the scents that certain items emit when melted with my Dokkasō.”
“Oh… it’s probably emissions and fumes.”
“It is unnatural. I think I may prefer the stench of unbathed humans.”
Kagome chuckled.
“Yeah, it’s pretty bad for my nose sometimes. I can’t imagine what it’s doing to yours. At least smelly people are naturally occurring. We shouldn’t get too into this topic or you’ll be stuck listening to me ramble on about it for hours. I drive my friends nuts. It was my undergraduate study focus. I was hoping to find a way to prevent all of this if the well opened back up.”
Sesshōmaru’s attention was entirely on her, then, the atrium forgotten as he listened to her speak.
“I thought that you mentioned studying medicine?”
“Oh, yeah, I am. I had to get my bachelors degree first. I double majored in Earth and Planetary Environmental Science alongside Health Science. After that came six years of med school, which I’m in the last semester of. I’m sorry, half of what I’m saying probably doesn’t even make sense.”
“I understand enough to deduce and understand your meaning, miko. Stop apologizing. If I have questions, I will ask. It is good that I learn and I learn best through observation.”
“Alright. Well, still, I don’t want to bore you with my school stuff. It pretty much consumed my life after I got back. I had to work extra hard just to get into a good high school, let alone university. My grades weren’t all that impressive after missing so much to hunt the shards.”
“I do not find you boring. If I did I would not be engaging with you. My attention is not easily held and when it is, it is usually the sort of attention that one would not want.”
Kagome grimaced at the thought.
“Yeah, I’ve been on the wrong end of that sort of attention. I think I’d prefer to bore you.” She laughed as they finally made it to the fruit parlor. “Ah, this is the place. I used to come here with my friends all the time when we were in high school. We got health conscious and realized Wacdnald’s burgers weren’t super great to be eating so regularly. The mall and this little parlor became our go-to.”
“It smells pleasant.”
“Tastes pleasant, too!”
Kagome ordered Sesshōmaru an assortment of plain seasonal fruits, opting for the sugary sweet stuff for herself. It was the same thing she ordered every time, which, arguably, was no healthier than a Wacdnald’s burger… but honestly, that wasn’t something she’d ever really been too concerned with in the first place. After risking her life in the Muromachi period for an entire year, the last thing she was going to worry about was carbs.
So Kagome happily dug into the fruit sando and her order of pudding a la mode–custard served with fruit and sorbet. Sesshōmaru attempted to be discreet as he scented her food. Kagome smiled knowingly, pushing it towards him. He snatched a triangle of one of the little fruit sandwiches and nibbled cautiously. His second bite was much larger.
She split the rest of her meal with him and quickly came to realize that Sesshōmaru had one hell of a sweet tooth.
Kagome ordered a large to-go platter of the sandos for him to munch on later.
They resumed their trek through the mall, Sesshōmaru’s nose working overtime as his attention darted from place to place. He remained quiet as he observed. Kagome froze when she spotted the Apple store, causing Sesshōmaru to collide with her back.
“Hn. I suppose I know how Jaken felt now.”
“Huh?”
“Nevermind. Why have you stopped?”
“We’re going to get you a phone. I won’t have to worry about losing you if I can contact you.”
“You wish to give me one of your artificial servants?”
Kagome looked at him, puzzled for a moment, before she recalled how she’d explained Siri to him the night before. She suppressed a laugh.
“Uhm, sort of. The ‘servant’ is inside of the phone, but that’s not the only part of the phone.”
Sesshōmaru didn’t respond.
“It’ll be easier to understand once you have it. It’s the thing you were reading from this morning.”
“I see. How will this help us to remain in contact?”
“Again, easier demonstrated than explained, I think.”
“Hn.”
“Just, come on. And don’t talk to anyone. The sales people will hover if we make eye contact.”
Ten minutes later and Sesshōmaru was walking around the world with his own iPhone. The bizarre circumstance was not lost on Kagome as she watched him tapping away at his screen.
When they walked past an outdoor sports store, Kagome was struck with yet another brilliant idea.
"Oh! I don't know why I didn't already think of this! Come on."
She redirected their route and took a detour into the woodsy atmosphere of the little shop. Camping gear and hiking apparel lined the live-edged wooden tables and shelves, plants decorating corners and hanging from the ceiling.
The air smelled of cedar and new fabric. Lights less harsh than the rest of the building created a soft glow throughout the store. The space was fairly small, crowded with goods. Fortunately, they were the only customers so rather than feeling uncomfortable, it was cozy. Sesshōmaru seemed to enjoy the break from the loud and artificial stink of the mall's main corridors. His eyes darted around, taking everything in within seconds of entering the space.
"That… place … the prison, it's dark. I know you won't have any trouble, but I could barely see my hand in front of my face and I'd rather not subject anyone there to my reiki orbs. I know you weren’t fond of them."
"Hn. And this place will assist, how?"
Kagome picked up a flashlight and switched it on, illuminating her face as if telling a spooky campfire story as she explained.
"We can get supplies to help light the place up, maybe even camp in the area.” She switched off the flashlight and handed it to Sesshōmaru, who immediately began turning it off and on, sniffing it and trying to figure out how it worked. Kagome pulled him by his sleeve as she continued looking around the store and elucidating her thought process. “It's so far away, too. Depending on what exactly happens when we look around, we might need to spend a few days there instead of driving back and forth."
"I see."
"Mhm! It's a shame, though. I just bought a bunch of this stuff but it's all with my friends on the camping trip that I was supposed to be spending with them this weekend. Oh well. Come on, this will be fun!"
She dragged Sesshōmaru through the store, showing him all of the devices and gadgets and how they worked. He was fascinated by the flashlights, night vision products, and compasses in particular.
"Humans have figured out how to utilize yōkai powers, seeing in the dark and overcoming a lack of instinctual sense of direction."
"Hm. I never thought of it like that, but yeah, I suppose you're right. A lot of the things that have been invented do give us superhuman abilities… like flying or moving at fast speeds. Good observation."
“Flying? Humans can fly now?”
He seemed startled by this revelation, prompting Kagome to laugh.
“Nothing like yōkai. Nowhere near as impressive. I think we need to sit you in front of a television and some good historical documentaries later. Alright, no more sidetracks. Let’s go get you a wardrobe befitting the Lord of the West. Come, m’lord.”
He glowered at her as she guided him to the checkout. After Kagome had paid for their camping supplies, they arrived at their intended final stop for the day–a store specializing in clothing made with natural fibers like linen, cotton, silk, and wool.
“Fashion has changed a lot since your day, so try not to be too picky. I wanted to take you to this store because the clothing is made from quality materials that won’t bug your skin or nose.”
“Hn. I will leave the choices to you. I know nothing of this era. You are better educated to make such decisions.”
“Awh, yay! Totally honored by your trust, m’lord.”
“Tell me, miko, why is it that my title sounds mocking when coming from your mouth?”
Kagome smirked as she piled his arms with clothes.
Roughly five hundred thousand yen later and Sesshōmaru had become the proud new owner enough shoes, shirts, socks, pants, underwear, and pajamas to last him a lifetime. Kagome was sure to get him an outfit for every occasion. Her time in the Warring States period had planted a need to always feel prepared.
She’d swore it would be their last stop, but Sesshōmaru was handling being in public infinitely better than she’d imagined, so when she passed an organic bath and body store, she couldn’t help but go in and load up on hygiene supplies, including some deodorant, a toothbrush, and body products that complimented his own natural, woodsy scent. Kagome wouldn’t admit it out loud, but covering up his own masculine, forest-y musk with her citrus and honey body wash was borderline criminal in her mind.
She was sure they were finished shopping after that, but as they passed a café, Sesshōmaru’s nose went into overdrive and he audibly groaned.
“Tea. Miko. Please. It has been so long.”
“You drink tea?”
He gave her a pointed glare that she could read even beneath the sunglasses.
“Fine, fine. Come on. We’re getting it to-go, though. I need to pick up Ikigai. I don’t like leaving him for too long.”
“Were you not leaving him while going on your trip? He was there when we arrived at your home.”
Kagome took a place in line and kept her eyes on the menu as she answered.
“Yeah, he was supposed to stay with my family while I was camping. Sōta was going to pick him up and take him back to the shrine today. I let him know it wouldn’t be necessary when I woke up this morning.”
“Hn. I see.” His nose started going again and Kagome had to work extra hard to suppress her smirk.
“What do you want?”
“I… the options are overwhelming and everything smells divine. I prefer sencha.”
“Do you want me to order for you? They sell leaves here. We can buy a few blends and make it at home later, too. That way we can figure out what you like.”
“That would be agreeable.”
Kagome ordered a large to-go cup of sencha that was described as “balanced”. While they waited, she gathered a small tin of every sencha variation the cafe sold. Kagome had several beautiful tea ceremony sets that she’d brought home through the well. She was excited to finally be able to put them to good use. She huffed, blowing her bangs away from her forehead when she looked at the price on her receipt. She’d spent more in that single day than she had in the entire previous decade combined.
Kagome handed Sesshōmaru his tea. His eyes closed and peace settled on his expression as he sipped the warm liquid.
Worth it.
Together, they strolled casually and in comfortable silence as they made their way back to the car. Kagome couldn’t help thinking that within a few short hours, they’d be face to face with countless yōkai, venturing into the unknown. There was no telling what would happen afterwards, when the next time either of them would experience any sort of happiness or peace.
Definitely worth it.
Notes:
<3 thanks for reading. Story's moving along nicely. Big stuff happening in the next chapter. A lot of you have been dying to know the circumstances around the mysterious bunker. ANSWERS WILL BE GIVEN. Well, at least some of them. Huehuehue.
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💬Discord: supsteff#0582
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Chapter 6: Dog-Tired
Notes:
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-HEED THE TAGS-
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*Please note, because this story is so trauma-laden, unlike my less dark stories, NO warnings will be given in the chapter summary when a chapter will contain potentially triggering content*
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It's a long one... and it still doesn't include the chapter with explanations. I'M SORRY. I TRIED. NEXT ONE THO I SWEAR.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Story Info - May Contain Spoilers*
Universe:
- Pre-Episode 193 Canon Compliant
Major Divergences:
- Kagome remains in the modern era instead of returning to the Warring States period after three years.
- Canon era setting altered (Kagome’s “future” time) to take place during 2011-2012 instead of 1996-2000.
- Kagome was born in 1996 instead of 1981.
Setting:
- 21st Century, Japan; Ten years post-episode 192
Tone/Genre:
- Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance, Thriller & Suspense, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Porn, Smut
Tropes:
- Sesshoumaru's Beast, Knotting, Mating Marks, Blood Adoption Ceremony, Kagome is Shippō’s Parent, Sesshoumaru is Rin’s Parent, Alpha Sesshoumaru, Powerful Higurashi Kagome, Aging Up, Hurt Sesshoumaru
Trigger Warnings:
- Rape and Sexual Assault, Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual), Child Abuse, Self-injurious behavior, Excessive or gratuitous violence, Needles, Kidnapping (forceful deprivation of/disregard for personal autonomy), Death or dying, Pregnancy/Childbirth, Miscarriages/Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Racism (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Prejudice, Slavery (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Genocide, Concentration camps (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Suicide, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Alcohol/Drug Withdrawal, Trauma, Suicide Ideation, Scars, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Alcoholism, Nightmares about Traumatic Events, Life-Changing injury, Detailed Medical Talk, Infant Death, Graphic Deaths, Mass Death, Murder, Extreme Violence, Gore, Torture, Mutilation, Cutting of Limbs, Threatening baby/child, Violence against Children, Physical Abuse, Described Blood, Graphic Violence, Drugging Someone Against Their Will, Female Oppression, Forced Breeding, Forced Pregnancy
Fandom Warnings:
- Several Major Character Deaths
- Several Major Character Undeaths
- Several Characters OOC
Published November 17, 2022 ༻❁༺ Chapter Word Count: 5,252
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dog-tired
idiom
extremely tired; worn out:
Chapter Six
“Oh shoot! I forgot to take you to the rooftop garden!”
Kagome smacked her forehead with the flat of her palm. They had already collected Ikigai and were nearly back to her apartment by the time she’d remembered. “Oh, well. Next time, I guess.”
Sesshōmaru glanced over at her as he delicately snacked on one of the fruit sandwiches she’d purchased.
“Hey! Those are supposed to be for later, Mr. ‘I don’t eat human food.’”
He stuffed the remainder of the sando in his mouth and swallowed before a feigned expression of innocence overtook his features.
“I know not what you speak of.”
Kagome openly gaped at him as he pointedly ignored her, his attention on casually petting Ikigai, whose head was hovering between their seats as he looked back and forth between them.
“I never took you for the type to have any sort of sense of humor, Sesshōmaru.”
He cocked an eyebrow.
“I do not.”
“Yeah, sure you don’t. It’s dry as hell but you’ve definitely got one.”
Sesshōmaru smirked as he gently stroked Ikigai’s ears with his claws. A smirk of her own spread along Kagome’s lips, eyes rolling in amused exasperation as she refocused on the road. The rest of the drive home was spent in companionable silence.
When Kagome pulled into her parking spot, Sesshōmaru almost instantly had his door open, Ikigai’s leash in hand. He led the dog straight over to the patch of grass that had long ago been claimed as his bathroom, and Ikigai immediately began to relieve what was obviously a very strained bladder. Kagome made a mental note to ask Sesshōmaru about that weird little sequence of events later. As she gathered their shopping bags, the daiyōkai seemed to manifest at her side, handing her Ikigai’s leash and divesting her of their many purchases.
“I will carry these. Ikigai is hot. You should go inside with him.”
Such a bold declaration only added to the mystery. She supposed ‘later’ had come earlier than anticipated.
“How do you know that? And how did you know he needed to pee so bad?”
Sesshōmaru cocked his head at her.
“Kagome, I am inuyōkai.”
“Yeah, and?”
“And he is inu.”
“Wait, are you saying you can… talk to my dog?”
“In a sense. We do not communicate in the same way that you and I do. We can understand one another, though.”
She blinked a few times before shaking her head. Well, that was just too much to process on top of everything else, so instead she did as he suggested and dazedly made her way up to her apartment, Ikigai on her heels and a bag-laden Sesshōmaru close behind. He’d somehow managed to load himself up with all of their purchases.
Once Kagome had gotten the door open and Ikigai off of his leash, she relieved Sesshōmaru of some of the bags, setting them on the island that divided her living room from her kitchen. What he’d said kept rolling around in her mind, kicking up endless questions that begged for answers, none of which had time to be posed. The day was dissipating quickly and they had a three hour drive ahead of them.
Besides, all of her mental energy was already consumed with that damned bunker. She wasn’t sure she could handle any more surprises.
So Kagome filed her questions away for later, choosing to instead busy herself with unpacking the tea, setting the tins along the countertop. They were pretty enough to display, so she figured she’d keep them out rather than taking up her sparse cabinet space with so many canisters.
Sesshōmaru set the rest of the bags on the couch before joining her in the kitchen, picking up each canister and sniffing its contents before re-arranging each one's position. When he noticed Kagome watching, he explained, finger tracing the tops of the canisters from left to right as he spoke, tapping the first tin and then the last.
“I have organized them in order of the scent’s appeal. I believe I will favor this one most and this one least.”
“I’d offer to make you some now, but I don’t want to run out of daylight. It’s already pretty late into the afternoon. I know it’s silly, but I’m nervous about going so deep into the woods while it’s dark. Once we’re there it won’t really matter, I guess. The inside of that place is pitch black. Oh! That reminds me, though, I should probably get our supplies together.”
She started scurrying around the living room, emptying the bags from the outdoor sports shop and filling the two hiking-packs she’d purchased with the rest of the supplies, which included a compass, several flashlights, headlamps, lanterns, water treatment, sleeping bags, two-way radios, a tent, an extra large first-aid kit, emergency blankets, and a few hydration bladders that she’d thought might come in handy for any rescued yōkai.
Kagome had been vaguely aware of Sesshōmaru rummaging through some of their purchases while she packed. Her breath hitched when she turned around and found him dressed in a baggy cotton T-shirt, linen pants, and leather chukka boots. Sure, it wasn’t his impressive traditional regalia, but damn if Sesshōmaru didn’t wear modern clothing better than any human man she’d ever seen.
Her face flushed red when she noticed his nostrils flare. She averted her eyes, not willing to give him another opportunity to shoot her with that same knowing smirk he’d hit her with in the shower earlier that morning. It made her wonder how many times Inuyasha had politely ignored her body’s reactions to him. She scowled, wishing Sesshōmaru would extend the same courtesy.
“Kagome?”
“What?” Her voice was strained, more clipped than she’d intended. She would’ve felt bad if she wasn’t being actively consumed by her embarrassment.
“You… scent of anger. Have I done something to upset you?”
“No.”
“You smell of dishonesty.”
“Stop smelling me!”
“Ah. I see. Forgive me, I did not intend–”
“No, don’t. I’m the one that should be apologizing.” She sighed, running her hands over her face in a fashion that remained mindful of her makeup. “You’re inuyōkai. It’s only natural that you rely on your sense of smell. It was wrong of me to tell you to stop. This is just a lot to adjust to.”
“I will attempt to be less intrusive in the future. It is a lot for me to adjust to, as well. I… was not permitted access to many of my senses while imprisoned.”
Her entire body snapped in his direction, then, full attention on the daiyōkai as he pointedly stared at his fiddling fingers. She had been trying very hard to refrain from asking questions about what he’d been through and just who…or what had done it to him. She was hoping he was finally ready to open up without too much probing.
“How?”
“I… am not quite ready to discuss it. It is all incredibly humiliating and thinking of it is nearly as difficult as living through it.”
She tried not to let her disappointment show and instead conveyed her patience and understanding, hoping to set him at ease. The last thing she wanted was to make him relive his trauma.
“I get it, Sesshōmaru. I’m sorry for prying. I’m here whenever you want to talk about something… anything. You don’t have to feel embarrassed with me. I’ll never think any less of you. The only ones I’ll think less of are the monsters who put you through all of this.”
She stepped forward and rested her hand on his bicep, her thumb gently stroking his bare skin. His own hand came to a rest on top of hers.
“This is all very new to me, Kagome. The talking, the… touching. Not even Rin took such liberty with her affections. I have never interacted with another being in such a way.”
She retracted her hand, color draining from her face.
“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean–”
Her hand was suddenly engulfed in his and settled back in its former place against his arm. His eyes were open, earnest, beseeching when she met them.
“ Do not. It is I who has initiated such physical intimacies, Kagome. My instincts… they crave touch. It is both comforting and unnerving to follow them. I am still adjusting to such unusual urges. I lived for a millennium without ever experiencing anything like it. I thank you for indulging me.”
She blinked at him a few times, her eyes falling on the place where his hand stroked hers. It was jarring, hearing him speak so much, so openly. It wasn’t the Sesshōmaru she remembered. He’d traveled with her group for weeks towards the end of her time spent in the past. He’d said a thousand times more to her in this one single day together than he had in the entire year she’d spent in Sengoku Jidai. She forced her eyes back to his as she spoke.
“You don’t need to thank me. I’m just glad that you trust me enough to indulge yourself, Sesshōmaru. I’d hate for you to feel like you need to deny your instincts the comforts they’re demanding. Bodies and minds are complicated. Don’t hesitate with me, alright? There’s seriously nothing you could do or say that would put me off.”
“I suspected as much when you remained so calm while I attempted to take your life in my sleep last night.”
“Hey, now that’s just a gross exaggeration. You only pinned me. Plus… I’m a lot stronger than I was in the past.”
“Oh, I am aware, miko. Your aura… it is intimidating.”
Kagome sputtered at the word choice.
“Okay, I know my powers have grown…but intimidating? To you? Yeah right. ”
“You may be aware that you are powerful but clearly you do not realize the magnitude of your powers. You could purify me with very little effort, of this I am certain.”
She flushed with embarrassment beneath the high praise. She was sure that Sesshōmaru never would’ve admitted something like that in the past. Kagome was, in fact, fully conscious of the magnitude of her powers. No one else was, though, and hearing someone– especially someone as powerful as Sesshōmaru–acknowledge it made her want to dig a hole and bury herself alive. Her entire body felt hot and itchy. When she spoke, her words came out weak, shaky.
“I-I’ve trained a lot since getting stuck in this era… like… a lot … but I’ve never had anything to test my powers against.”
“Hn. Well, it is a theory I would prefer not to test personally. Perhaps you are the solution to the problem we face. You could simply purify any yōkai that are too dangerous to release from the bunker.”
“I’d be fine with purifying ones that are more cognitive, like Naraku and his incarnations were… but I don’t know if I can do that to the lesser yōkai that just won’t know how to blend into human society. It’s cruel.”
“There may be no other option.”
“We’ll find one.” She shook off the unpleasant heaviness that settled in her stomach at the thought of murdering countless, innocent creatures. They had just as much right to exist as anything else. Killing them just because humans might freak out if they discover that yōkai were more than myths seemed downright deplorable. "We should get going. I need to go pack an overnight bag in case we stay."
Kagome stuffed a duffle with some clothes and hygiene supplies before bidding goodbye to Ikigai. She’d already texted her mother to let her know she might be camping in Gunma Prefecture and would need someone to check on him the following morning.
While she donned her new hiking boots, she watched with thinly veiled amusement as Sesshōmaru shuffled into the kitchen and retrieved the remaining sandos from the fridge. He very pointedly did not meet her mirthful gaze.
It wasn’t until they began to gather their gear and load up the car that the reality of the situation seemed to begin weighing on them both. There was a heavy tension in the air that left no room for words, so the duo remained silent as they readied themselves for their journey. Once they were buckled in, what they were about to embark on hit Kagome hard and she had to take a few calming breaths before even starting the car.
She looked over to Sesshōmaru and found him not so subtly analyzing her scent. She smiled when he made no mention of the spike in her anxiety. The car came to life and music filled the space. Windows were rolled down and coordinates were punched into the GPS.
Within a few minutes, the tiny black Toyota was rolling on its way to their destination. The three hour drive would be spent in near complete silence, just as it had been the first time the pair had made it together. It was not lost on either of them that, this time, they were traveling towards danger rather than away from it.
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Kagome felt the yōki before the GPS even announced their impending approach to their destination. Her body reacted just as poorly as it had when driving with Ayumi the day before. Her chest was constricting, moisture beading along her flesh, lungs burning. Knowing what awaited her made it all the worse. All of those auras… all of those yōki signatures… each one was attached to a being enduring unimaginable suffering. She nearly started to sob at the thought.
Sesshōmaru’s hand was suddenly resting on her knee, its weight a balm on her chaotic emotions. She focused on regulating her breathing as she took the same turnaround as she had on the first trip. It wasn’t long before the yōki peaked, re-frazzling her nerves and forcing her to once again try to steady her breathing.
The car came to a stop at the side of the road, as close to the treeline as possible. She and Sesshōmaru still exchanged no words as they gathered their things and began the silent trek through the woods. The bunker was farther than Kagome had remembered it being, the hike taking almost an entire hour before the spiritual barrier began buzzing against her aura.
She threw up a barrier of her own to protect both herself and Sesshōmaru from the volatile reiki.
“How is it that you do that, miko?”
“Do what?”
“Breach another’s barrier without so much as disturbing it. You mentioned you did not have the opportunity to test your powers against an opponent, so how is it that you came to even learn such a thing?”
“Oh. Well, Gramps and Sōta have really, really weak spiritual powers. I taught them how to utilize their reiki and I learned a lot about it myself while teaching them. So what I meant earlier was that I hadn’t tested my powers against yōki.”
“I see.”
“Also… the more in tune with my reiki I became, the more intuitive things got. Like… I just knew I could open the reiki-sealed doors of the bunker. I couldn’t tell you how.”
“It is instinct. Yōki works the same way. For yōkai, our yōki is supplied by the beast. It is drawn from nature, from the earth around us. I have heard it theorized that reiki is supplied by the kami themselves. So really, the instinct is that of the beast or the kami, if it is to be believed that kami supply reiki, that is.”
“Mm. Well, my reiki is a bit different.”
“How so?”
“After I made the wish, I absorbed the Shikon no Tama's energy into my body. I can hear her sometimes, Naohi.”
“Naohi?”
“Magatsuhi’s counterpart. Midoriko, I suppose. But that’s not entirely accurate because Midoriko’s soul passed on. It’s like… an echo of her. I’m not really sure how it works. I feel her standing by my side when I exercise the full force of my reiki.”
“It is as though she is your beast. Fascinating.”
Their conversation came to an organic end as they approached the barrier that concealed the visage of the bunker. Kagome shielded them once again as they stepped through. Sesshōmaru’s hand immediately clutched hers when the bunker manifested, the potent aura heavy in the air.
“Before we do anything else, I think we should probably set up camp. Even if we don’t stay tonight, it’ll be good to have a sort of base. We’re–or at least I’m– going to need to rest and eat at some point and if we find anyone, we'll have somewhere to take them.”
“I agree. I can scent a stream near enough so that we may access water but not so near that we are in proximity to any danger that may lurk here.”
Sesshōmaru led the way to the stream, which, upon arrival, Kagome quickly utilized to cool her heated skin with a few well placed splashes against her neck and face. After she’d finished, she filled their portable water filtration system and started setting up camp. Less than an hour later, they had a tent, water, lighting, and a campfire ready to light if needed.
Kagome and Sesshōmaru stood in the middle of the camp, that thick tension once again making itself known. They exchanged a look that silently asked if the other was ready for whatever may come. He nodded, she took a deep breath, and together they made the short trip back to the bunker.
Once there, Sesshōmaru took only a moment to close his eyes and concentrate before they snapped back open, wide and filled with more emotion than Kagome had ever seen in them. In the time it took him to blink, the old Sesshōmaru and his stoic mien had replaced the vulnerable one she’d come to know.
“Open the door.”
Kagome refrained from getting huffy in response to his curt, demanding tone. She’d learned enough about the daiyōkai in their short time together that, despite his well-schooled demeanor, she could tell something was very wrong. So, she did as he asked without comment and Sesshōmaru silently strolled into the bunker with more confidence than Kagome felt. She fumbled through her pack in search of a light source as she tried to keep up with his brisk pace. He seemed to know exactly where he was going, so she was keen to keep on his heels, flashlight in hand, until they reached what seemed to be his destination on the third level down, cell number eight.
“Open it.”
She once again did as he bade without question. Sesshōmaru stepped into the doorway as soon as there was space enough for him to stand. His posture stiffened, fists balled at his sides as his aura wound tightly to himself, clearly trying to hide his emotions.
“Jaken.” The imp’s name came out as a command, one which was met with no response. Kagome felt Sesshōmaru’s aura unfurl, growing chaotic, nervous, full of stress. Jaken’s was quiet, like sleepy inhales and exhales, a life force slowly fading. It kicked Kagome into medic mode.
“Move, Sesshōmaru.” She shoved past him as she quickly tied back her hair, ignoring the annoyed growl and sharp glare that taking command had earned her.
Kagome bit back a gasp when her eyes fell on the tiny toad yōkai, his nude form stretched, his reiki bindings too large for such a small body, the ki burning into more skin than he had available.
She went to the place in her mind that she’d curated for high adrenaline tasks like dissection or working with cadavers, moving through the motions of freeing Jaken with steady hands, whispering reassurances through every step, whether he could hear them or not.
Once free of the bindings, beads, and catheter/colostomy contraption, Kagome immediately started healing Jaken’s injuries.
Within moments his aura became stronger, his bulbous, yellow eyes blinking into consciousness. She felt the fear shoot through him when he sensed her reiki. Apparently, Sesshōmaru did as well, as he immediately snatched the toad from her arms, cradling him in his Mokomoko. If not for the tight set of his jaw, his expression would have betrayed nothing.
“I will take him back to camp. He will need rest.”
The small yōkai stirred at the sound of Sesshōmaru’s voice.
“M-milord? Is it really you?”
“Rest, Jaken.”
“Y-yes, m-mil…lord.”
Sesshōmaru turned on a heel and unhurriedly made his way back towards the bunker's entrance. While she waited for him to return, Kagome started to sift through auras, seeking anything familiar. Her scream tore from her throat and echoed into sobs when she found the one familiar aura she'd been both hoping and dreading would be in the bunker. Her feet were running towards it before her mind had even fully accepted to whom it belonged. She was panting when she reached sublevel five, cell number three.
Her body was shaking violently as the door opened and he came into view. She was on the verge of hyperventilating, her form wracked as she wept and wailed, vomit creeping up her esophagus. She couldn’t rid herself of the tremors as she freed him from his bindings, medic-mode all but forgotten as mom-mode took over.
He was bigger than she remembered, not by much, but he certainly wouldn’t fit on her shoulder anymore. She ran her hands through the two new tails he’d acquired since she’d last seen him.
“Shippō. My sweet boy. What did they do to you?”
She dropped to her knees, the concrete sending shockwaves of pain through her bones. It barely registered beyond the agony she felt when taking in the horrific burns covering her kit's body or the way his bones protruded from his formerly cherubic form.
Kagome carefully healed the little kit that she'd claimed as her own, running gentle fingers through his hair as she worked, whispered affections tumbling from her lips in endless mumbles.
“Mama?”
She curled the kitsune to her chest at the sound of his voice, so hoarse and dry.
“Yes, sweetheart. Mama’s here.” She rocked back and forth with him in her arms, sobbing quietly into his hair as she peppered him with kisses. “Mama’s right here.”
“H-how?”
“You’re in my time, Shippō.”
“How long have I been here?”
“I don’t know, but you’re free now. You’re coming home with me.” He tried to rise, panic in his expression. Kagome gently coaxed him back. “Don’t try to get up. Relax.”
“But I have to find Kirara!”
“Was she taken with you?”
“Yes.”
“Who else?”
“I don’t know. It was just me and Kirara when they got us.”
“I’ll find her. First I’m taking you somewhere to rest, okay?”
“No, Mama. Kirara first. Please.”
“Look at me, Ship. I’ll find her. I can’t help her and hold you at the same time.” His big green eyes blinked up at her, tears forming before his features set with a familiar, brave little face, determination in the set of his brow.
"I-I'll walk! I can help!" His chin wobbled alongside his resolve.
"No, Ship. I need to know you're safe so that I can focus on Kirara."
Kagome watched as the resignation took hold, the kit burying his little face in her shirt. She was so wrapped up in Shippō and taking care of him that she hadn’t even noticed Sesshōmaru was there. She choked on a gasp when she stood and turned to find him right behind her.
“I will take the kit. You keep working.”
Kagome nodded as she reluctantly handed Shippō to him.
“Shippō, Sesshōmaru is going to take you to rest with Jaken while I look for Kirara, okay?”
“Okay, Mama. I love you.” His voice was as weak as his aura. She hated leaving him. When he yawned and cuddled against Sesshōmaru, claws curling into silver hair, she felt a little more at ease.
She leaned, whispering and kissing his forehead.
“I love you too, sweetheart. I’ll see you soon. Promise.” She lingered there for a moment before a tear escaped her tightly clenched eyes. She wiped it away with haste, straightening and letting her gaze settle on Sesshōmaru’s.
“Miko.”
“Yeah?”
“Do keep your senses open. There is no way to know what dangers remain in this building. I would hate for a less friendly yōkai–or worse–to surprise you as I just did.”
“Right. Yeah.” She felt a blush creep along her cheeks, embarrassed that she’d let her guard down in such a dangerous place.
Sesshōmaru offered a curt nod before disappearing down the dark hallway with Shippō. Kagome took a moment to calm down before she shuffled through more auras, seeking out Kirara’s old, familiar one. She released a frustrated growl when she couldn’t locate it. She didn’t let her mind draw the conclusion that seemed most obvious.
Kagome was getting antsy as she continued searching and probing through the countless yōkai and continued to come up with nothing. She was having trouble focusing with how worried she was about Shippō. After about fifteen minutes, she couldn’t take it anymore and decided to go back to camp for a break.
When she got there, she found Sesshōmaru crouched outside of the tent, Jaken and Shippō inside, nestled in Mokomoko and snacking on the leftover sandos.
“Mama!” Shippō tossed his sandwich back on the platter when he noticed Kagome. Sesshōmaru placed a gentle hand against the kit’s chest, forcing him to remain seated as opposed to jumping up and running to Kagome.
“Hey, you stay right there. I’m coming. Let me get you some water.”
She filled two of the hydration bladders from the filter before joining Sesshōmaru in kneeling outside of their tent. Jaken shied away from her, curling in on himself and burrowing deeper into Mokomoko as his eyes tracked her movements with unveiled suspicion. She handed one of the bladders to Sesshōmaru, aware that with the way he was acting, Jaken was unlikely to accept it from her.
She set the other one next to Shippō, demonstrating how it worked before handing him the straw. Sesshōmaru offered his to Jaken, who gave it a tentative sniff before accepting that it was safe. The two small yōkai continued to drink and eat their fill in silence. As soon as they finished, they both crashed, snuggling into Mokomoko as their soft snores filled the tent.
Kagome and Sesshōmaru walked far enough away that their whispers wouldn’t disturb the sleeping pair.
“Did you find the nekomata?”
“No.” Kagome frowned.
“Have any other auras stood out to you?”
“I wasn’t really looking, to be honest. I was so worried about finding Kirara. I… think I have an idea, though.”
“Go on.”
“Something I’ve done in the past while looking for yōkai in this era is a type of deep-meditation. Basically, I become attuned to all of the auras around me, human, animal, spiritual, and yōkai. I never did find any yōkai, though, so I can’t say for certain that this will work, but I could easily find the spiritual auras of both Grandpa and Sōta, the auras of my friends, of pets, even wild animals around the shrine. I’d like to go into this state and kind of… I guess screen the yōkai that are in the bunker.
“I can get a sense of the malevolence of the owner this way. I’ll mark down each cell, the type of yōkai inside, and how I read their threat. If I find anything familiar along the way, we can go get them. That way Shippō and Jaken can rest, we don’t have to leave them, and we still get some work done.”
“Does this pose any danger to you?”
“Other than draining my energy? No, not really. I’ve never even had anything notice that I’m probing it.”
“Hn. Fine. I will keep watch.”
“Okay, I’m going to get my notebook. I’ll be able to write while in this state but I won’t be conscious. You’ll have to wake me from the meditation if you need me.”
“How is it that you can write while unconscious?”
“It’s hard to explain. I’m not even really sure how it works. I figured it out accidentally during one of my meditations. I was marking off areas of a map while searching for yōkai and when I came to, the same mental notes I’d made were physically on the map of Tokyo I’d set out in front of me.
“When I’m like this… it’s like my body manifests inside my mind. I can control it, but everything around me other than auras and ki are just… tuned out. It’s just the Earth and its inhabitants, all represented by featureless, colorful blobs of light. But if I imagine something, it takes shape. Like the map. Gramps called it psychography. It freaked him out. He said it was demonic, what I was doing. He hated it.”
“I will not claim to understand what you are describing, but I trust your abilities. You can trust that you are safe while in such a vulnerable position. I will not leave your side.”
“Thank you.” Kagome took a deep breath before steeling her nerves. Knowing that she was going to actually find yōkai this time made going into such a state all the more nerve-wracking. She gathered her notebook and a pen from her backpack before settling at the base of a tree. She relaxed, allowing her ki to overtake her body as she fell into a deep state of meditation.
Upon waking, she would finally learn why her grandfather was so disturbed by the process. Very little in his life had been capable of surprising Sesshōmaru, but as he watched a pink glow overtake Kagome’s body, her eyes rolling into the back of her head while a tendril of her reiki–rather than her physical hand–took hold of the pen and began to write on the paper in front of her, Sesshōmaru was shocked… and entirely captivated.
He would sit for the next several hours, observing with deeply fascinated interest as Kagome mapped out the entirety of the prison and the content–or lack thereof–of each room.
He had been crouched over her, reading her notes when she suddenly took a deep gasp of air, her entire body arcing away from the tree as her hands contorted in front of her. It startled him so much that he’d actually lost balance and toppled over. She rasped out a single word, body still tensed, eyes still in the back of her head.
“Hachi.”
Sesshōmaru was on the verge of asking for elaboration when Kagome promptly lost consciousness. It had happened so abruptly, so unexpectedly that he’d barely had time to catch her and prevent her head from colliding with a nearby root. He could feel how weak her aura was and knew she’d expended far too much of her ki. He growled in frustration as he took her in his arms, settling her in his lap and taking up post against the tree.
He monitored her breathing and heartbeats, ensuring that she was merely asleep and not suffering any sort of ailment. His claws stroked through her hair as he watched the miko resting peacefully, her reiki quickly regaining strength with every passing moment. He leaned forward, tracing his nose against her forehead, soothing his soul with her now familiar, comforting scent. A small smile tugged at his lips when Kagome released a soft snore.
The daiyōkai was oblivious of the two sets of very surprised, wide eyes watching on from the nearby tent.
Chapter 7: The Dogs Bark, but the Caravan Goes On
Notes:
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-HEED THE TAGS-
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*Please note, because this story is so trauma-laden, unlike my less dark stories, NO warnings will be given in the chapter summary when a chapter will contain potentially triggering content*
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In case it wasn't obvious or readers that weren't familiar with the idioms/proverbs used as chapter titles throughout this story, I've gone back and added definitions to the beginning of each chapter. From here on out, each one will be defined at the start of the story. They're relevant to the chapter's content, so I figured I'd make the meanings clear for those who didn't already know them. <3
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Story Info - May Contain Spoilers*
Universe:
- Pre-Episode 193 Canon Compliant
Major Divergences:
- Kagome remains in the modern era instead of returning to the Warring States period after three years.
- Canon era setting altered (Kagome’s “future” time) to take place during 2011-2012 instead of 1996-2000.
- Kagome was born in 1996 instead of 1981.
Setting:
- 21st Century, Japan; Ten years post-episode 192
Tone/Genre:
- Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance, Thriller & Suspense, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Porn, Smut
Tropes:
- Sesshoumaru's Beast, Knotting, Mating Marks, Blood Adoption Ceremony, Kagome is Shippō’s Parent, Sesshoumaru is Rin’s Parent, Alpha Sesshoumaru, Powerful Higurashi Kagome, Aging Up, Hurt Sesshoumaru
Trigger Warnings:
- Rape and Sexual Assault, Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual), Child Abuse, Self-injurious behavior, Excessive or gratuitous violence, Needles, Kidnapping (forceful deprivation of/disregard for personal autonomy), Death or dying, Pregnancy/Childbirth, Miscarriages/Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Racism (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Prejudice, Slavery (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Genocide, Concentration camps (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Suicide, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Alcohol/Drug Withdrawal, Trauma, Suicide Ideation, Scars, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Alcoholism, Nightmares about Traumatic Events, Life-Changing injury, Detailed Medical Talk, Infant Death, Graphic Deaths, Mass Death, Murder, Extreme Violence, Gore, Torture, Mutilation, Cutting of Limbs, Threatening baby/child, Violence against Children, Physical Abuse, Described Blood, Graphic Violence, Drugging Someone Against Their Will, Female Oppression, Forced Breeding, Forced Pregnancy
Fandom Warnings:
- Several Major Character Deaths
- Several Major Character Undeaths
- Several Characters OOC
Published November 19, 2022 ༻❁༺ Chapter Word Count: 4,290
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The Dogs Bark, but the Caravan Goes On
proverb
History (or progress) moves ahead, no matter the criticism it may attract:
Chapter Seven
When Kagome came to, it was dark, their camp illuminated only by the light of the full moon and the soft, warm glow of a campfire.
It took her several moments to register that she was cradled in Sesshōmaru's arms, Mokomoko cushioning her body. She felt herself grow flush from clavicle to scalp.
She peaked up to find him watching her, an intense, unreadable expression boring down on her.
"W-what happened?"
Sesshōmaru's gilded eyes were smoldering, the light from the fire flickering in the reflection of his gaze.
"You overexerted yourself and exhausted far too much of your ki. You lost consciousness and have been asleep for several hours.
"Hachi!"
She shot up in Sesshōmaru's lap, eyes wide and head heavy.
"That is precisely what you said just before you lost consciousness. What is 'hachi'?"
Shippō scoffed, drawing Kagome's attention to the kit, who sat next to Jaken by the campfire.
"Well I could'a told you that. Hachi isn't a ‘what’, he's a ‘who’. He's tanuki." The kitsune folded his arms, nose pointed haughtily in the air as he smirked, proud to know something that the daiyōkai had not. Kagome couldn't suppress the smile summoned by seeing the small echo of the boy she'd known as opposed to the scared, shaken child she'd found in that cell. She sent out a small thanks to the kami that his spirit hadn't been entirely broken through whatever traumas he may have faced.
Sesshōmaru glanced at Kagome for confirmation of the kit's claims. She nodded.
"Shippō's right. I found Hachi in there. I have to go get him–"
As she moved to stand, Sesshōmaru swiftly pulled her back down into his lap, banding his arm around her abdomen.
"Absolutely not, miko. It is late, dark, and you are weakened. Do you even realize the level of ki that you were expending… How you were using it? It is little wonder that your grandfather was so frightened."
"Huh?"
"Kagome, you were glowing. Your entire body was engulfed in a layer of your ki. Only the whites of your eyes remained, and you were not the one writing all of that. "
He gestured towards the notebook filled with several drawings of cell blocks, notes filled in each cell.
"What are you talking about? I can remember writing it. That's my handwriting."
"In a sense, perhaps, but Kagome, it was your reiki. Your hands– your entire body– remained still throughout the entirety of your meditation. You did not move so much as a single muscle until you emerged from your meditative state. Your reiki manipulated the writing utensil and parchment. It may have been your will but you most certainly were not physically writing."
"Okay, that's a little freaky. I wonder why Gramps never mentioned it?"
"You said he referred to it as 'demonic'–which, I cannot imagine why, as that was quite obviously reiki–perhaps it was his fear that kept him from informing you. I do not know. But I cannot allow you to go running off into that bunker in the middle of the night after what I have just witnessed.”
She scoffed.
“Well, it’s a good thing you’re not my boss, huh?”
Sesshōmaru glowered while Kagome disentangled herself from him, entirely ignoring his warning growl as she hopped to her feet.
“Miko.” His tone was stern, reprimanding.
“Yōkai.” Her tone was mocking of his. She didn’t even bother looking at him, choosing to instead dig through her supplies.
If looks could kill.
“Kagome, can you not just wait until morning? I am not comfortable leaving the kit and Jaken alone in their weakened states, nor am I comfortable with you venturing into a dark, abandoned prison for yōkai on your own.”
“It won’t be dark.” She smirked as she emerged from the depths of her backpack, switching on her headlamp and illuminating her face with a flashlight. “Stop being so uptight. The yōkai are all sealed behind reiki bindings and plus, someone once told me I have a very intimidating aura.”
She hit him with a grin that was met only with the glower that had freshly taken up permanent residence on the grumpy daiyōkai’s face.
“Sesshōmaru, would you have wanted me to wait until morning to get you? Or Jaken? Hachi’s awake in there. My probing… it… I think it somehow broke the sealing spell of the onenju. Like when I woke Inuyasha from the Goshinboku.”
“Onenju?”
“The beads that have been around all of your necks. The rosary? Haven’t you noticed them? They’re sealed with really powerful reiki. It’s what’s kept you guys alive for so long.”
“How?”
“They basically put you to sleep. I don’t know who had the power to do it or why, but all of the beads have been made from the Goshinboku and imbued with the same sort of spell used in an arrow of sealing. You’ve all been essentially bound to the Goshinboku for however long those things have been around your necks.”
“Hn. I had not even noticed their presence and I do not recall anyone placing such a thing on me. You say I was wearing one when you found me?”
“You don’t remember? I… got so upset when I saw it that my reiki overextended and the beads exploded while I was trying to disarm them.”
“I recall very little of that night.”
“Well, it was awful. My aura woke you, Sesshōmaru, and now I’ve woken Hachi and he’s in there, in the dark, conscious, bound, and probably terrified out of his mind. It’s bad enough I fell asleep and he’s been like that for however long I was out. I’m not leaving him in there all night!”
“Fine. I can see it is a waste of my time to attempt to persuade you otherwise.”
Sesshōmaru’s face grew impassive, attention settling on a fixed point in the distance as he pointedly began to ignore her. Kagome rolled her eyes.
“Well, fine, I guess I won’t ask you to hold onto the other two-way radio, then, since you have no interest in what I’m doing.” His lips pursed as his eyes slanted in her direction, his body still facing away. “Here, Shippō. We can talk through this while I’m in the bunker. Don’t get too worried if it cuts out and you can’t get a hold of me. But I’ll keep checking in with you guys, alright?” She gave Shippō a quick demonstration of how they worked before hugging the little kitsune and gathering her supplies, shouldering her bow and quiver over her backpack.
Sesshōmaru continued to avoid looking at her, his expression and body language willfully disinterested, but his eyes occasionally cut to her, immediately darting back towards the treeline every time she caught him. She suppressed a smile.
Stubborn dogs.
Kagome sighed as she knelt in front of him, forcing him to look at her.
“I appreciate your concern. It’s admirable. But I’m not a pup. I don’t need your protection. ”
His face softened when she threw his own words back at him.
“This is different, miko.”
“Is it, though? You know I’m more than capable of taking care of myself… and if anything does happen, you have insanely good hearing and can move with the speed of light. I’m willing to bet you heard me scream when I found Shippō and that’s why you were there instead of with Jaken.”
“Hn.”
“Yeah. Thought so. Trust me, alright?”
He sighed.
“I do. I do not trust your lack of planning or forethought.”
“Oh, come on, Sesshōmaru. Look at me, I’m loaded up with all kinds of gadgets and weapons. I’ve been planning for this for a decade. I just didn’t think it would happen in my own time, is all.”
“A decade?”
“Yeah. I haven’t just been studying medicine and environmental science, I’ve been working on archery, mixed martial arts, endurance training, even some kenjutsu–”
“Miko, you do not need to convince me of your strength. Though, I am intrigued by your combat training and hope that you will one day demonstrate your skill for me. I know you are capable of defending yourself. I admit, I did not realize you had been anticipating returning to the past and continuing on with your battles. It does put me at ease to know that you are not foolishly running into a situation without thinking it through as my brother would have.”
“That was never my style, Sesshōmaru." She sighed, willing away the heaviness in her gut at the reminder of Inuyasha. "Look, I have to go. It’s killing me knowing Hachi is suffering because of me.”
“Go, then. Do not hesitate to call for me if you require assistance. I will hear you. I made your mother a promise. I do not break promises.”
She smiled as she stood.
“Thank you.”
He nodded, diverting his attention back to the treeline before she could turn to leave. She offered Shippō one more hug, then headed off into the dark, back towards the bunker.
It was creepier at night, foreboding, looming over her. The aura of the land surrounding it instantly made her feel ill. After spending the entire day in their presence, the yōki signatures were less overwhelming, but as she stood in front of the building that housed them, they began to cloy at her senses. She bit back a wave of nausea as she pulled out the notebook that she’d made her meditative notes in. Hachi was on the same floor that Shippō had been on. She kicked herself for not noticing him earlier in the day, having been too focused on her search for Kirara to spare her senses for the poor tanuki.
Kagome took a deep breath before commanding the reiki-sealed door to open, exhaling as she stepped through the doorway and into the dark. She switched her headlamp on, the flashlight no longer enough to illuminate her surroundings.
Dust floated in insect-like specs within the cones of Kagome’s lights. She walked on with caution, her senses open and her muscles tight, ready to spring into action if necessary. Her breathing was shallow, the only sound she could hear other than the rhythmic, distant drip of what she could only hope was some sort of water-based leak.
Kagome worked her way down the winding stair-wells until she reached sublevel number five. After leaving the landing through a reiki-sealed door, she was once again in the hallway where she had found Shippō. According to her crudely drawn map, Hachi's cell was through a second set of reiki-sealed doors at the end of the hall. When Kagome stepped through and into the second corridor she nearly collapsed when faced with just how many cells there were.
She worked her way down what appeared to be a long, circular hallway, the numbers next to the cell doors continuously ticking up with every step she took. As she neared what seemed to be the part of the map where she had indicated Hachi's cell location, she gently reached out for his aura. As soon as she'd touched it, it recoiled. Fortunately, he wasn't strong enough to mask himself entirely. She found him in cell number thirty-two.
When his door opened, his eyes were wide, filled with fear, entire body shaking. Hachi was no longer the rotund, jolly little raccoon dog she'd known. He was severely emaciated, his fur missing in patches, scars along his bony little body. Kagome had to bite her cheek to stop her emotions from flowing over. The look in his eyes was entirely rabid. It was the first time she found herself afraid to free one of the yōkai.
"Hachi… do you remember me? It's Kagome. I was Miroku's friend."
At the mention of Miroku's name, Hachi began snarling and growling, fighting against his reiki bindings and causing his flesh to sear. Suddenly Kagome didn't care if he hurt her, she wanted those bindings off of him, to stop the acrid stench of burning flesh and fur. She talked to him as she worked.
"I'm here to free you, Hachi. I don't know if you remember Sesshōmaru, Shippō, or Jaken, but I've already freed them and they're outside of the bunker at our campsite."
He stopped struggling then and began to listen.
"If you reach out with your aura, I bet you'll be able to find them and verify what I'm saying. If you still don't believe me, I can call Sesshōmaru down here if you want. I promise, I'm not going to hurt you. I know that whoever did this used reiki or some sort of spiritual power but I have nothing to do with them. I'm your friend, okay? Now, I'm going to release you from this last binding. Please don't attack me. And don't go taking off. We're very far into the future and humans don't know that yōkai exist. You'll be in danger out there on your own. Alright?"
He eyed her, brow set with obvious suspicion before sighing in resignation. He offered a single nod and Kagome released the binding from his neck.
"Would you allow me to heal you?"
"Take me to Sesshōmaru first."
"Can you manage to walk? If I heal you–"
"No. I don't know if this is a trick. After what Miroku has done I don't think I can trust any of you humans."
"Miroku? What did Miroku do?"
"Other than help trap me here, you mean?"
"No… no I don't believe that. He would never! You're one of his closest friends!"
"Not after the war. He chose his side. Which one are you on?"
"I don't know what war you're talking about but if I were on a side it's whatever one you're on, Hachi. There's nothing you could have done that would excuse what's been done to you and that goes for every yōkai in this awful place."
"I really hope you actually believe that. You said you could have Sesshōmaru come here?"
"Yes."
"Do it. I won't be tricked."
"Alright, give me a minute."
Kagome took her backpack off and pulled out her radio.
"Shippō? Can you ask Sesshōmaru to come down to sublevel five? Hachi–" Sesshōmaru was standing in front of her before she could finish. "That was fast."
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. If you'd let me finish what I was saying, I only needed you because Hachi doesn't trust me."
"Hn."
The radio crackled to life in Kagome's hand.
"I can't find him, Mama."
"It's okay sweetheart, he heard me. He's down here now. Thank you."
"No problem!"
Kagome turned back to Hachi.
"Can I heal you now?"
He eyed her suspiciously before tearing his gaze to the daiyōkai.
"Lord Sesshōmaru, what was the last thing you asked of Inuyasha before disappearing?"
Sesshōmaru looked taken aback.
"Kagome, you trust this tanuki?"
"With my life. He's helped save it enough times."
"Very well. I told him to take my daughter to my mother's palace if anything were to happen to me. Do you know what has become of them?"
"I'm afraid not, my lord. They made it to the palace and were well the last time I saw them. That was perhaps two years after you vanished."
Sesshōmaru nodded.
"Allow the miko to heal you, tanuki. She needs rest."
Hachi's gaze shifted to Kagome, who had started digging through her bag. She re-emerged with a hydration bladder and a granola bar.
"Here, food and water. Please, Hachi, I don't know what's happened but I need you to trust me."
His nose twitched as he scented her offerings, snatching the granola bar and swallowing it in a single bite. Kagome showed him how to use the straw to drink his water, and finally he allowed her to begin healing him.
"If there is nothing else, I am returning to camp."
"Actually, Sesshōmaru, could you take Hachi back with you? I wanted to look around a bit."
"You need rest."
"Sesshōmaru. Please."
He sighed.
"Come, tanuki."
Hachi stood on unstable feet, flinching slightly when Kagome steadied him.
"Thank you, Kagome. For everything."
"No need, really. I'm only doing what's right."
"Well, it's been a long time since I've met a human that even understood the difference between right and wrong."
"Tanuki. I do not wish to linger in this place. Follow or be left behind."
"Of course, Lord Sesshōmaru, forgive me. Bye, Kagome. Thanks again."
"See you in a bit, Hachi. Get some rest."
His thinned form hobbled down the hall after Sesshōmaru, who paused just long enough to allow the tanuki to catch up.
Kagome sighed, rubbing her hands over her face. She'd sensed a large concentration of reiki on the ground level floor and had been eager to look into it.
She frowned at the numerous cells as she passed, all too aware that yōkai were inside of each and every one. There were thirty-one cells before Hachi's, each containing yōkai, gods only knows how many more cells continuing down the circular hall. And it was the fifth level down. The three levels above it were likely lined with just as many.
She hadn't had the chance to look into the floors beneath, except for the bottom level of course, which had been reserved solely for Sesshōmaru. It made her feel like the deeper the levels, the more powerful the yōkai housed on the floors would be. After all, had Sesshōmaru managed to get out of his cell, he would have had to make it through at least thirteen more reiki-sealed doors to be free of the bunker.
She did have to hand it to whoever had made the place, it was a well-crafted maximum security prison for yōkai.
Miroku.
Her fists balled at her sides.
No. No! He'd never!
She shook her head. It had to have been a trick. Hachi had been sure she was tricking him, even verified that Sesshōmaru was who he appeared to be… so maybe he'd been tricked into thinking their dear friend had done something so terrible.
Kagome released a huff. Ever since finding the bunker, she’d been overwhelmed with question after question and not a single answer. She decided it was time for a sit-down with the yōkai she’d freed. The next morning, she’d ask for answers. She had to before the unanswered ‘whos, whats, wheres, whens, whys, and what ifs’ crashing around inside of her skull ended up scrambling her brain.
She’d made it up three flights of stairs before she had to take a seat on one of the steps and rest, sipping from a hydration bladder and waiting for her heart-rate to settle. Not even her endurance training could help her keep up with the exertion she was putting on herself. Draining her reiki was exhausting. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of saying it out loud, but Sesshōmaru was right–she needed rest. But she had to know what was on that ground level, first. There were no cells there, only rooms sealed with reiki, and she wanted to find out what was beyond those doors.
After taking five minutes to recuperate, she continued her climb until she came to the empty floor that housed the entrance to the bunker and several mystery rooms. At the top of the stairs, instead of taking a left to exit the prison, she took a right and continued down the dark corridor for the first time.
The doors were engraved with warding talismans rather than sealing ones as all of the previous reiki-sealed doors she’d seen had been. So whatever was in those rooms was meant to be kept away from yōkai, locking them out instead of locking them in.
She opened the first door and found what looked like some sort of retro control-room. The far wall was lined with televisions as old as her Grandpa, the screens bulbous and bulky, their edges rounded, housed inside of black cubes. They were a far-cry from the flatscreens she’d grown up with.
A desk sat beneath the TVs, lined with control panels, old rotary phones, vintage condenser microphones, a type-writer and tons of aged, yellowed papers with faded ink scattered along the surface.
Kagome walked forward and picked up one of the papers. The only thing she could make out was the title, which was larger than the rest of the faded words: ‘Incident Report’.
Her eyes continued to scan the room, taking in the clock that looked as if it came from the same era as the rest of the old, dusty junk. She made her way over to a solid, wooden desk that faced the door she’d come in through. Rummaging through the drawers only yielded more files and papers, all of which just seemed like blank, standard paperwork meant to be filled out in case of incident. She froze when her eyes fell on an old picture on the desk, framed and faded, but she was certain the photo was of Miroku, Sango, Kohaku, and another woman that she didn’t recognize.
They were as young as she remembered them, dressed in clothing more fitting of the nineteen-fifties as opposed to the fifteen-fifties when she’d known them. It was impossible. They couldn’t have survived that long, they were humans.
She collapsed into the dusty old chair in front of the desk, clutching the photograph of her friends, tears dripping onto the frame’s glass and landing on their faces… which, despite the smiles, seemed troubled… sad. The happy light that she’d come to associate with them was nowhere to be found.
Kagome sniffled, wiping her tears with the back of her hand before stuffing the photo into her backpack. She’d had just about enough of that particular room for the time being, haunted by the idea that someone who’d, at the very least, known her friends well enough to display their picture had sat in the same chair in which she’d been seated… watching what was being done in that terrible place.
Kagome re-sealed the room and made her way to the next door. Before she opened it, something pulled at her senses. She turned and continued down the long corridor, walking past several doors before finally finding the source of the pull.
At the very end of the hallway stood a massive, round vault door that looked like the sort one would find inside of a bank. Her face crumpled when she sensed what was beyond it. It was overwhelming, the sheer magnitude of the power. She summoned her reiki to open the door in the way she had with every other locked room she’d encountered in the bunker. That was the first time it didn’t work.
Her breath hitched when her eyes fell on the five-spoke handle, its familiar shape only adding to the mystery. She wracked her brain for the names… she remembered them… a priestess and a daiyōkai. To save him from the Naginata of Kenkon, the samurai priestess had sealed her yōkai lover with that same symbol that was on the door. She’d died before she could release him. Kagome tapped her forehead. Tsukiyomi! Her name was Tsukiyomi. And he was Hoshiyomi, the leader of the ninja yōkai.
She stared at the pentacle talisman and it hit her. It was what Tsukiyomi had used to seal Hoshiyomi. She’d chanted the mantra of the nine cuts. Kagome groaned. She couldn’t remember it. She wracked her brain again, trying to dredge up the ancient memory but coming up blank. And then it hit her. She couldn’t contain the self-depreciative chuckle that escaped. She wasn’t in the past. She had access to her phone, to the internet. She pulled up her phone’s browser app and searched for the incantation.
Kagome studied the mantra for a moment. Tsukiyomi hadn’t used the mudra when wielding the pentacle, so Kagome instead chose to wrap her hand around the center of the five spokes of the door’s pentacle-shaped handle before summoning her reiki and shouting the incantation.
“Rin! Pyō! Toh! Sha! Kai! Jin! Retsu! Zai! Zen!”
When the handle began to turn in her palm, Kagome quickly retracted her hand. Slowly, the door creaked open. Kagome pulled it the rest of the way, staggering backwards when she saw what awaited her.
When she collided with something warm and soft, Kagome screamed, turning on a heel and nearly tripping over her own feet as she summoned reiki to her shaking hands.
“Miko. Calm yourself.”
“Oh my gods Sesshōmaru! Don’t sneak up on me like that!” He was staring at her glowing hands with clear apprehension. “Oops. Sorry.”
Kagome snuffed out her reiki and Sesshōmaru visibly relaxed just before his attention snapped to the open door behind her. He moved so quickly that her eyes hadn’t even registered it before all that remained in front of her was empty air.
Kagome turned back towards the vault to find Sesshōmaru standing in front of what appeared to be a jail cell, vertical metal bars glowing with a rainbow of reiki auras, the power crackling along the surface.
“Miko, can you open this?”
“I’m sure I can, why?”
“Bakusaiga is in there.”
Kagome stepped through the disarmed door and into what was clearly some sort of weapons vault. The main area in which both Kagome and Sesshōmaru were standing had walls lined from top to bottom with guns, blades, tasers, and batons. They were all charged with reiki. The power was thick in the air, nearly drowning out the intense auras of the yōkai blades beyond the metal bars in which Sesshōmaru was staring beyond.
Kagome gasped when she joined him. Hundreds of weapons were stored inside. One in particular was calling out to Kagome, as if it sensed her. She could have sobbed at the familiar feeling of the yōki brushing against her skin.
“Tetsusaiga.”
Chapter 8: Let the Dog See the Rabbit
Notes:
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-HEED THE TAGS-
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*Please note, because this story is so trauma-laden, unlike my less dark stories, NO warnings will be given in the chapter summary when a chapter will contain potentially triggering content*
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Wh-what's this? Do I smell... *sniff sniff* ANSWERS? TO QUESTIONS? MYSTERIES? SOLVED?... Mysteries... expanded? Le frown.
A question answered, a question gained. Enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Story Info - May Contain Spoilers*
Universe:
- Pre-Episode 193 Canon Compliant
Major Divergences:
- Kagome remains in the modern era instead of returning to the Warring States period after three years.
- Canon era setting altered (Kagome’s “future” time) to take place during 2011-2012 instead of 1996-2000.
- Kagome was born in 1996 instead of 1981.
Setting:
- 21st Century, Japan; Ten years post-episode 192
Tone/Genre:
- Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance, Thriller & Suspense, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Porn, Smut
Tropes:
- Sesshoumaru's Beast, Knotting, Mating Marks, Blood Adoption Ceremony, Kagome is Shippō’s Parent, Sesshoumaru is Rin’s Parent, Alpha Sesshoumaru, Powerful Higurashi Kagome, Aging Up, Hurt Sesshoumaru
Trigger Warnings:
- Rape and Sexual Assault, Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual), Child Abuse, Self-injurious behavior, Excessive or gratuitous violence, Needles, Kidnapping (forceful deprivation of/disregard for personal autonomy), Death or dying, Pregnancy/Childbirth, Miscarriages/Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Racism (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Prejudice, Slavery (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Genocide, Concentration camps (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Suicide, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Alcohol/Drug Withdrawal, Trauma, Suicide Ideation, Scars, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Alcoholism, Nightmares about Traumatic Events, Life-Changing injury, Detailed Medical Talk, Infant Death, Graphic Deaths, Mass Death, Murder, Extreme Violence, Gore, Torture, Mutilation, Cutting of Limbs, Threatening baby/child, Violence against Children, Physical Abuse, Described Blood, Graphic Violence, Drugging Someone Against Their Will, Female Oppression, Forced Breeding, Forced Pregnancy
Fandom Warnings:
- Several Major Character Deaths
- Several Major Character Undeaths
- Several Characters OOC
Published November 20, 2022 ༻❁༺ Chapter Word Count: 5,758
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let the dog see the rabbit
idiom
To remove unnecessary obstructions, impediments, or restrictions so as to allow someone or something to work the way that they want or are meant to. An allusion to greyhound racing, in which the dogs chase a live or mechanical rabbit around the race track:
Chapter Eight
When Kagome summoned her reiki to disengage the cell door’s locks, the opposing auras crackled, pushing back. Another first. So far, none of the reiki had been strong enough to fight her own. She’d barely had to exert any effort to combat the other spiritual powers she’d faced in and around the bunker. Her brow set, an annoyed growl ripping through her clenched teeth.
“Sesshōmaru, wait in the hall.”
“Why?”
She cut him with a glare that implored that he not waste time and let her work. He raised a brow.
“Because I don’t want to accidentally purify you.”
Both of his brows raised at that.
“Very well.”
He calmly walked back to the hallway, watching curiously - and cautiously - from the doorway. Kagome sucked a breath between her lips, aware that what she was about to do was going to hurt. Afterall, when she’d grabbed the sealing beads that had been around Sesshōmaru’s neck, she’d felt a bit of a sting. She was gearing up to wrap her hands around metal bars that looked as if electrical currents of reiki ran the length of them.
Before she could lose her nerve, she closed her eyes and took hold of the bars. She could smell her skin burning as a pained scream tore from her throat and echoed throughout the bunker. It pissed her off so much that she extended even more reiki than she’d meant to, blasting the bars clear from the cement to which they’d been bound, jagged shards of metal flying with such force that it embedded into the concrete walls and floors of the room beyond.
She felt Sesshōmaru’s arms around her as she collapsed, lowering her to the floor gently as he knelt behind her.
“You fool! Why would you do something so reckless? Miko! Your hands!”
She felt a wave of nausea flow through her at the sight of her mangled flesh.
“Oof.”
“That is all you have to say? Miko, these are serious injuries–”
“Calm down. It’s fine.” She summoned her reiki and Sesshōmaru watched with wide eyes as the soft pink glow flowed along her flesh, knitting it back together and leaving behind no trace of injury beyond the slightly pinkened hue of her skin.
“How–”
“I told you. My reiki is different. This isn’t even the half of it.”
“Explain.”
“Later. Let’s get Bakusaiga and Tetsusaiga first.”
“No, miko. I am much more interested in what you just did.”
“I’ve resurrected Ikigai, okay?”
“Pardon?”
“He was hit by a car when I was eighteen. I got so upset while I was holding him… he just… his soul came back. I’m pretty sure he hasn’t aged since.”
“Have you tried this with anything else?”
“I haven’t had the opportunity to. I hope that I never do.”
“How old are you, Kagome?”
She smirked.
“Just now noticing, huh? Yeah, I haven’t aged, either. My friends are always bugging me about my skincare routine. I don’t really have one. Can we be done talking about this, now?”
“If we must… Kagome, please, allow me to return you to camp to rest. We can continue investigating this place in the morning.”
She sighed.
“Fine. Honestly I’m not sure that I can even stand, anywa– hey!”
Sesshōmaru lifted her into his arms, slowly making his way back towards camp. Kagome found that she didn’t really have the energy to protest. As they left the bunker, Kagome stopped him.
“Wait! I need to re-seal the door. I don’t want anyone getting in… or out.”
“Hn.”
Sesshōmaru pushed it closed, and Kagome struggled to summon enough of her reiki to seal it. Concern tugged at the back of her mind, Tsukiyomi’s death from spiritual energy depletion still heavily hanging in her thoughts. It was a solid reminder that she seriously needed to stop overdoing it. She’d never exhausted her ki so thoroughly and as it were, she was playing with fire. As if to drive the point home in her mind, Kagome was suddenly overwhelmingly lightheaded.
“S-sess…shomru. I–”
“Sleep, miko.”
“Nn."
────── 〔✿〕──────
Kagome awoke the next morning, sticky with sweat, fur seeming to cling to every inch of her skin. Her eyes slowly opened and any irritation she’d felt from the uncomfortable, itchiness of the humidity and fur instantly melted away. Shippō was draped over her stomach, his little claws clinging to her hair, all three of his tails tangled around her arm and tickling her face. Mokomoko was wrapped around them both.
When she tore her eyes from the tiny kit, she found Sesshōmaru just outside of the tent, leaned against a tree across from the campfire and watching her intently. When she smiled, he responded with a nod before shifting his gaze somewhere off in the distance.
She sat up, gently shifting Shippō off of her. She found Hachi seated inside of the tent, dressed in one of Sesshōmaru' shirts… which looked more like a dress on him. That's when she noticed that Shippō was wearing one of her own shirts. She smiled as she stroked the kitsune's hair, prompting him to nuzzle closer in his sleep.
"He calls you 'mother'." Kagome’s gaze shifted to Hachi at the sound of his soft voice.
"I am his mother. The only one he's ever known, at least. His biological one died when he was a newborn. After his father was murdered Inuyasha and I looked after him."
"He never called Inuyasha 'father'."
Kagome scoffed.
"No, he wouldn't. First of all, he'd known his father. Second of all, Inuyasha acted more like a brother to him. He didn't have a fatherly bone in his body. Probably because he never had one of his own."
"Have you adopted the kit?"
"Not officially. I didn't even know there was adoption back then."
"Well, I don't know about humans, but yōkai have always had a way."
"Really? No one ever told me or I would have."
"Probably best you didn't since you disappeared through the well."
"I guess you're right. I'm never leaving him again, though. Ever."
Kagome looked down to find watery green eyes looking up at her, a big, fanged grin plastered on Shippō's face.
"Promise?"
"I promise. I'd die before I let anyone or anything take you from me again, got it? Not even time itself will be able to fight me on this one."
She bent, nuzzling her nose to his.
"You shouldn't make promises that you can't keep." Hachi's mumbled accusation was low, but she heard it.
"I don't." She growled the words so fiercely that Hachi scooched until his back met the tent. Kagome felt guilt flood through her. "Sorry, Hachi–"
He instantly waved her off, sweat beading his brow as he forced a smile.
"No, no. I'm sorry. I should know better than to anger a mother with her cub."
Kagome's smile was weak, but the incident was forgotten as Shippō curled his arms around her.
"I'm hungry, Mama. Do you have any ninja food?"
"No ninja food, I'm afraid. Only granola bars."
"Ick! Those things are gross."
"Well, sit tight then. I'll find you something."
She crawled out of the tent, shouldering her bow and piling her hair on top of her head.
"Where are you going, miko?"
"Don’t pretend you weren’t eavesdropping."
"Rest. I will find the kit something to eat."
"I'm good. If you want to help, feel free to get a few fish from the stream. I saw some small ones when I was collecting water."
She winked as she continued on her path towards the stream. Sesshōmaru was by her side in an instant.
"I did not know that you had claimed the kit as your own. Inuyasha never mentioned it."
"Did he take care of Ship after the well closed?"
"Hn. No. As you said, the pup didn't have a paternal bone in his body. He did, however, help find a kitsune clan that ensured his admission into a prestigious kitsune academy so that he could continue training. He became one of the youngest kitsune to ever achieve three tails."
"Of course he did." Kagome puffed with pride, a grin plastered to her face. It faltered when she remembered something that the daiyōkai had said the previous night.
"Sesshōmaru…I… don't want to pry or anything–"
"Ask."
"You mentioned your daughter? Are you mated–"
"Rin."
"Oh, I see. Of course." After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Kagome grinned. "That's how."
"Hn?"
"How I know you like fruit. Rin told me."
“I should have known.”
A warm smile spread along his lips, his face softening more than she'd ever seen it. She couldn't help thinking he'd never looked so beautiful.
Kagome blushed as the thought crossed her mind. His gaze cut to her, curious. She cleared her throat before busying herself by searching the forest floor for any food to forage.
Kagome spotted a berry bush a short distance away. As she approached, she caught movement beneath it. When a bird fled from the cover of the bush, Kagome had her bow drawn and an arrow through its small head before it had even breached the canopy above.
It fell to the forest floor with a thud.
"Hey Sesshōmaru, nevermind the fish. I got a pheasant."
"I can see that. Miko… perhaps you should check beneath the bush."
"Huh?" Kagome bent to gather her kill, frowning when her eyes fixed on the egg-filled nest beneath the bush. "Fuck."
"They are freshly laid, undeveloped."
"Thank Gods. They'll be easier to eat that way. I don’t like food with faces."
He raised a brow, eyeing the pheasant dangling from her grasp.
“Unfortunately, that won’t have a face for long. I think I’ll take care of this before going back to camp. It might upset Shippō.”
She set the pheasant on the ground, spreading its wings and stepping on them. She could see Sesshōmaru’s head cock in her peripheral vision as she gripped the bird by its legs. She began to slowly pull, exerting a solid amount of her strength until the bird’s legs separated from its body, taking its guts, skin, and feathers with them and leaving behind a clean breast. She cut the wings off with the tip of an arrow and removed the pheasant’s head and neck with her hands.
“Here, hold this for me.”
She tossed the cleaned meat to Sesshōmaru before going back to clean the legs of the bird. When she finished, she handed those to him as well. He blinked at her a few times, obviously more than a little jarred by what he’d witnessed.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“That was… efficient. And perhaps a little disturbing.”
She scoffed.
“Coming from The Killing Perfection? Really?”
“You were just… quite calm.”
“Sesshōmaru, I’m in my last semester of medical school. Field dressing a pheasant is nothing compared to the things I’ve done.”
“Where did you learn such a thing? Surely they do not teach fowl mutilation in medical school.”
She laughed.
“No, definitely not. I spent the summer on a survival retreat after I graduated high school. I learned all sorts of skills.”
“Hn.”
“I need to go wash my hands. I’ll be right back.”
She shouldn’t have been surprised to find Sesshōmaru following close behind. He’d been acting so normal she’d forgotten his aversion to being alone.
Kagome quickly washed off in the stream before coating herself in hand sanitizer from fingertip to elbow, eager to get the stink of a fresh kill off of her flesh. After that, she returned to the bush to gather the eggs.
There were nine in total, which she very gently collected, taking care not to crack any and making a makeshift basket from her shirt by pulling the hem out and filling it with her findings.
Less than a half an hour later and the entire camp - save for Sesshōmaru - was happily eating their fill of pheasant and eggs.
While they sat gathered around the campfire, Jaken continued his distrustful glances in her direction. He had refused to even wear her clothes, instead opting to wrap himself in one of Sesshōmaru's shirts, which was so big that the hole for the head had a larger circumference than Jaken's entire body.
The poor imp had not said a single word since leaving the bunker. Kagome wanted to reassure him, to comfort him, but she couldn't think of a single thing to say. She wondered if maybe just talking to him normally would help put him at ease with her.
"Jaken, we found a weapons room last night. Did Lord Sesshōmaru tell you? I bet your staff is in there."
That got his attention. The contempt melted from his face, morphing into something hopeful, childlike as he looked up at Sesshōmaru.
Sesshōmaru nodded at him, confirming what Kagome had said.
"I did sense the Nintōjō. Kagome and I will be returning to gather the weapons. Would you like me to bring you your staff, Jaken?"
Tears welled in the imp’s bulbous eyes as he nodded eagerly, his hand clasping Sesshōmaru's in an uncharacteristic show of affection.
The daiyōkai's gaze fell to where the imp's three little fingers clutched his one. Sesshōmaru brought his other hand to cover Jaken's. The quiet exchange brought tears to Kagome's eyes. She bit them back, standing and gathering the discarded bones of the pheasant and putting them into a garbage bag.
"Come on Ship, bath time."
For the first time ever, Shippō didn't fight her about taking a bath. He jumped up, excited, grabbing her hand. She shouldered her backpack and led him to the stream. Kagome wrapped them both in towels as they submerged in the cool water, setting Shippō on her knee as she began to work soap into his hair.
She inspected his skin as she washed his body, happy to see the markings from his reiki bindings healing.
"Mama?"
"Yeah Ship?"
"I missed you."
"I missed you too, kiddo. Can you tell me… Ship, can you tell me what happened?"
"I… Mama… I don't wanna. Please. Besides, it wasn't the same for me as it was for the others. I wasn't old enough yet. They just kept me… and… well, did tests."
"Tests?"
"Yeah. They took my blood… and… and sometimes cut me open to see what I looked like inside."
Kagome gathered him close to her chest, resting her chin on the top of his head.
"You don't have to tell me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"No, Mama. It's okay. Really. I got special treats from Botan-sama and Momiji-sama if I was good. They liked me. I… I was lucky."
Lucky. Yeah, right.
Kagome’s nails dug into her palms, drawing blood. Shippō continued talking, oblivious to how upset she’d become.
"The stronger the yōkai, the worse it was for them. I was little, so they didn't do the same stuff to me. The hallway where you found me is where all the kids are kept. They keep us separate from the grown-up yōkai. Some of the other kids grew up enough that they were moved, though."
Shippō’s little nose started twitching, following the scent he’d picked up down to her hands. He coaxed her to unfold her clenched fist, gasping at the sight.
“Mama! You’re bleeding!”
“I’m fine, Ship. It’s noth–” Kagome screamed when Sesshōmaru manifested in front of them, clutching her by the wrist and inspecting her hand. Had he not had a hold of her, she would’ve toppled backwards into the deeper part of stream. “What the fuck, Sesshōmaru?!”
The daiyōkai’s gaze met hers.
“I scented your blood. What has injured you?” He flexed one of her fingers back and forth, putting the pieces together, realization that she’d injured herself dawning on him. “Surely these blunt claws were not capable of drawing blood?”
Kagome scoffed, snatching her hand away.
“Do you mind? We’re trying to take a bath!”
“Sesshōmaru, you’re really lucky you don’t have subjugation beads or Mama would have sat you for sure. Humans are way more sensitive about being seen naked than yōkai are.” Shippō looked up at the daiyōkai, whose scowl only deepened as he rose to his feet.
“Should I have ignored a potential threat in order to preserve your modesty, miko?”
“You’re telling me you had to jump into the stream with us and sniff my hand to discern whether or not there was a threat nearby? Where’s the forethought in that, Sesshōmaru?”
Sesshōmaru growled.
“Don’t you growl at me, mister!”
Kagome stood, holding Shippō against her hip as she pointed a finger in Sesshōmaru’s face.
“Lower your finger or you may lose it, miko. Your continued distortion of my words for your own benefit is maddening.”
She sputtered, hand balling at her side.
“You’re just a big ole hypocrite and you’re mad because I’m calling you out on it!”
“Uh… Mama?”
Kagome looked down to Shippō and realized that her towel had fallen. She squealed, setting Shippō down as she scurried to cover herself.
“Now look what you did! Go away, Sesshōmaru!”
“Miko, we have bathed together twice now. Why are you so upset?”
“You bathed with him, Mama?” Shippō’s eyes were wide, unblinking.
Kagome felt her skin grow hot. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so embarrassed. Tears started to well in her eyes, threatening to spill and adding to her anxiety. Sesshōmaru’s head tilted to the side.
“Kit, go back to camp and get dressed.”
Shippō looked to Kagome, who nodded, sniffling.
“Kagome? Why are you so upset?”
“I just… Shippō didn’t need to know that.”
“That you have assisted me in bathing? I feel if anyone should be embarrassed by such an admission it is I.”
“No, Sesshōmaru. It’s not that, it’s just… humans don’t just bathe together with the opposite sex. The entire time I was traveling with Inuyasha, he and I never… and Shippō knows that. He knows that I’m private with my body. He’s going to think–”
“Miko, I can assure you, the kit’s instincts are more pack oriented than yours. Pack bathing is not unusual amongst yōkai who live in packs. That is not all that is bothering you, is it?”
“No. I’m just… I think I’m just overstressed. I’m sorry. He was telling me what happened to him. What they did to him… I wasn’t there to stop it. I couldn’t protect him.”
Sesshōmaru sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Kagome, it is no fault of your own. Do not dwell on things that cannot be undone.”
“Sesshōmaru… Hachi said Miroku, the hōshi I traveled with… my friend–”
“Yes.”
“What?”
“The hōshi. He was one of the many responsible for the prison.”
“Why? ”
“It is a very long story, miko. One that spans several centuries.”
“I need to hear it.”
“Very well. I do not wish to speak of this in front of the others. Come.”
“Hang on, let me get dressed.”
She toweled off and threw her clothes on haphazardly, shouldering her backpack as she joined the daiyōkai on a nearby rock. Sesshōmaru sighed.
“I do not even know where to begin.”
“Who took you?”
“That, I cannot answer. At least not in full. What I can tell you is that yōkai had started to disappear en masse roughly two decades into the onset of the seventeenth century. The disappearances coincided with the emergence of a group of religious… zealots. I could not find much information about them, they were incredibly secretive and well hidden.”
“Wait… wait, I’m sorry, this is the part that’s bugging me. I found this picture–” Kagome pulled the photo of Miroku, Sango, Kohaku, and the mystery woman from her backpack and handed it to Sesshōmaru. “You said this started about twenty years into the seventeenth century? Miroku would have been ancient by then. He was in his twenties when I last saw him. That was in the year 1547. So he would have been pushing a hundred by 1620. That’s a long lifespan for a human - even now, where we have modern medicine. For him to survive the Warring States period and make it to that age… and this picture…it looks like it was taken in the 1950's! How could he have still been alive, and as young as he was the last time I saw him? None of this makes any sense.”
“It is not the same hōshi with which you were acquainted, miko. The people in this photograph… they are like the clay miko - made of ashes and graveyard soil. They were resurrected decades, even centuries after their natural deaths.”
Kagome gasped, her hand covering her mouth.
“Who would do something so awful? Why?”
“From what I could tell, whoever was behind this was building a sort of spiritual army to eradicate yōkai. I heard numerous reported sightings of long-dead, powerful miko, kannushi, hōshi, and bikuni. Further, the tajiya woman was resurrected around the same time as your hōshi friend. Soon after, I saw Kohaku, appearing closer to the young boy I met and traveled with prior to Naraku’s defeat rather than the elderly man that I had watched breathe a final breath just three years prior.”
“I can’t believe it. This is crazy. It doesn’t make any sense. Why would someone go through all that trouble? I watched Kikyō get resurrected. I was there. My soul was used in the process. It was a lot of work… and to do that with how many people? Why?”
“I could not say. Your kit and the nekomata were taken in the year 1642. Inuyasha came to me for assistance. I was of little use. I had been researching the disappearances for decades by then, Jaken having been one of the earliest to vanish. A-Un, as well. Slowly, my kind dwindled into nothingness. I was one of the last remaining yōkai by the time they trapped me during the latter half of the nineteenth century. My mother remained in her fortress, which is why I had instructed Inuyasha to take Rin there if anything were to happen to me. I was surprised that the tanuki had evaded capture long enough to know such a thing.”
“Yeah, I bet Myōga was still around, too. They were both always really good at self-preservation. Sesshōmaru… how did they capture you?”
“You saw the weapons in that room. It took centuries for them to create something strong enough to overpower daiyōkai. They had started with the abductions of lesser yōkai, working their way up until I was the only remaining Cardinal Lord. There were no other daiyōkai that I was aware of, save for my mother. They likely did not even have the ability to build a prison that could contain me up until the point of my capture. Even then, I nearly managed to escape several times over the first few decades of my imprisonment. Once they began to expand the facility and the cells, however, it became impossible. They perfected their methods and built a cell deep beneath the ground. I gave up hope of ever living freely again.”
“Sesshōmaru… where are they? What happened?”
“That is another question I cannot answer. They simply stopped appearing. I was no longer being fed, no longer bathed. I could not tell you how long the time stretched on, how many days I spent enduring starvation, existing in that dark, small space with nothing to occupy my mind. Time stopped, eventually. Everything was just… empty. Until a few days ago when a warmth unlike anything I had ever experienced embraced my soul, wrapped itself around my aura. I opened my eyes to find reiki caressing me, lovingly, gently. I was… admittedly concerned, at first, but the way in which the soft pink aura stroked my own… it promised comfort. And then there you were, smelling of life, purity. There was no vile stench of death, no darkened spiritual powers. You were the very opposite of those who had put me in that cell. I was certain that I was dreaming.”
Kagome scooted closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder.
“I’m so glad I found you. That I found this place. I’m going to fix this.”
“I am glad, too, Kagome.”
“I have two more questions for you, and then I’ll try to leave all of this pain in the past, where it belongs.”
“Go on.”
“First of all, you said they stopped feeding you. What were they feeding you?”
His lip curled in distaste.
“Yōki.”
“Oh.”
“Hn.”
“The other thing… you said that I smelled of life… which means you could smell me, right?”
“Of course.”
“Yesterday you mentioned your senses being suppressed–”
“No, miko. Do not ask me of their methods of sense suppression. I cannot think of it. Not yet.” His eyes clenched, hands shaking.
“Sorry! I’m sorry. I just had to make sure it wasn’t the beads–”
“It was not.”
“Okay, forget I asked. Come on, let’s go get Bakusaiga and go home.”
“Home?”
“Yeah. I can’t free anyone else, yet. We have nowhere to take them. My apartment only has two bedrooms and the one bathroom. I think we should go home and let Jaken, Hachi, and Shippō rest. I can meditate from there and continue mapping the prison. I won’t probe any auras like I did with Hachi so that I don’t wake anyone else. The onenju will keep everyone that’s in there safe until I can figure out what the heck to do with them all. So far I’ve counted over three hundred occupied cells. I don’t even have a way to transport them. We’re going to have to find somewhere to take them and do this in batches.”
“Clearly I have underestimated your propensity for forethought.”
Kagome smirked.
“You’ve always had a bad habit of underestimating me in general.”
She booped his nose as she hopped up from the rock, earning herself an annoyed growl. She was surprised when he re-initiated his habit of holding her hand. She thought he’d moved past it since he hadn’t made the attempt since arriving at the bunker.
She was even more surprised when he didn't release it upon returning to camp. His hand remained in hers until she began to gather the remaining supplies, handing him the second backpack.
“Alright, Shippō, you mind Hachi and Jaken, okay? Stay at camp. You have the radio if you need us.”
“Yes, Mama! Be careful.”
Shippō ran to her, scurrying up her side and wrapping his arms around her neck. He whispered in her ear, as if the other yōkai couldn’t hear him.
“Do you feel better, Mama?”
She leaned her face back to look him in the eye, smiling when their gazes locked. She returned his whisper, even though she knew everyone present could hear her hushed words.
“Yes. Much better. Thank you for caring.” She kissed his nose before setting him down. “You behave. No tricks!”
“Yes, Mama.” The kit was looking at his foot as he unearthed a rock with his toes. This told Kagome that he already had several tricks planned.
Good.
It had probably been centuries since he’d been able to make any mischief. The more he was able to be his old self, the better. She gave him one last glance over her shoulder as she and Sesshōmaru started back towards the bunker.
Her reiki felt entirely replenished after a good night’s sleep, so she opened the entrance with very little effort. Once inside, Kagome closed and sealed the door behind them before digging through the bag on Sesshōmaru's back for a headlamp and flashlight. After affixing the lamp to her head and turning on both of the light sources, the pair immediately went to the weapon’s vault. Sesshōmaru’s nose began to work the air when he stepped inside, a growl building in his throat as his intimidating aura unfurled in full force. Kagome's eyes widened.
“What’s wrong?”
“There is a foreign scent in here. I noticed it when we entered the bunker a moment ago, but it is strongest here. Someone has been inside the vault since we left last night. A yōkai. A powerful one. Keep your senses open, miko.”
“Great. A daiyōkai that’s likely armed with a yōkai sword. Perfect.”
Kagome stepped over the rubble and into the cell that housed the swords.
“Hn. Unlikely.”
“What?”
“That he is armed. I cannot cross the threshold.” Sesshōmaru nodded at the floor, which was lined with glowing white symbols.
“Oh. Hm. Well, I think I’ll leave that intact, then. At least until we figure out who the visitor is.” Kagome reached her senses out until she felt Bakusaiga. She followed its aura to the place where it sat mounted against the wall, gathering it and tossing it to Sesshōmaru.
A happy rumble built in his chest.
“Thank you, miko.”
He affixed the sword to his hip before taking up vigil by the vault’s entry.
“Is Tenseiga in here? I don’t sense it.”
“No. It wouldn’t be. Do not ask… Please.”
The way he tacked on the ‘please’ made her stomach turn. She decided to drop the topic entirely as she searched for Tetsusaiga. Tears welled in her eyes when she stood before it, its aura reaching out to her. She rested a hand against its sheath and the tears finally overwhelmed her lashline, streaking down her cheeks. It was like having him next to her. A warm smile spread along her lips as she basked in the feel of Inuyasha's familiar yōki.
“Miko?”
Kagome’s attention snapped to Sesshōmaru, who was hovering by the doorway.
“Oh. Sorry… I–”
“No need. You have found Tetsusaiga?”
“Yeah… wait… oh my Gods! This means Inuyasha is here!”
“No. I have searched for his aura. It is not present.”
Kagome let that settle. When the implication reached her mind, it felt like a punch to the gut. First Kirara, then Inuyasha. She frowned as she gathered his sword in her arms.
“Here, you should have it. It was your father’s.”
“And my brother's.”
Kagome blinked at the admission. She didn’t have it in her to pry, to ask if they had finally built a relationship after everything. She only nodded, handing him the sword, which he affixed next to Bakusaiga.
Kagome returned to the vault, gathering the Nintōjō as well as her surprise discovery of Shippō’s fox magic toys. She wondered if Hachi had any weapons. She probably should have asked before leaving camp.
Kagome slowly exited the cell, her arms filled with a sack of Shippō’s numerous toys and tools, a collection of which had grown substantially since she’d last encountered it. Sesshōmaru relieved her of Jaken’s staff as she approached him.
“Thanks.”
“Hn. Miko, perhaps you should arm yourself with some of the spiritual weapons.”
“Trust me, I don’t need them.”
“While I am sure that is true, it could not hurt.”
“Here, take Shippō’s stuff.” She handed him the bag of toys before taking a few steps back.
“Reiki is not so different from yōki. The fact that whoever created these weapons had to create them at all tells me they’re totally oblivious to this fact.”
“Oh?”
Kagome quickly summoned her reiki, shuffling through various shapes - a bow and arrow, a sword, a baton.
“It works just as any physical weapon would, so long as the wielder is familiar with the mechanics. So... wasting money and material to make all of these weapons was totally pointless. My reiki can be used just like bullets if I want. I don't even need the gun. Oh! This one was inspired by you. It was the first shape I learned.”
Kagome summoned a whip of her reiki, snatching the bag of Shippō’s toys from Sesshōmaru’s grasp. She smirked at the shocked look on his face.
“So, you see, I don’t need physical weapons.”
“You still carry your bow.”
“Because I like the feel of it. Plus, reiki doesn’t work on humans.”
“Hn.”
“Come on, let’s get out of this place. The auras really start to wear on me when I'm exposed to them for too long. There's just so much sadness and pain. It's draining.”
After resealing the bunker and making the quick trek back to camp, Jaken and Shippō were happily reunited with their weapons. Kagome was relieved when Hachi confirmed that he hadn’t been carrying anything other than his leaf collection when he was captured.
As she watched the sun begin to set, an uneasiness was heavy in Kagome’s gut. It was eating at her that there was a yōkai running around loose in the bunker… and that it hadn’t made itself known while they were there. She couldn’t sense its presence, and Sesshōmaru had identified it as being powerful. She wasn’t quite sure if she was ready to leave. What if it was another yōkai that she’d been responsible for waking? What if it was terrified, traumatized, and all alone and locked in the dark? A frown tugged at her mouth.
“Sesshōmaru?”
“Miko?”
“Do you think it would be okay if we camped out one more night?”
“I am certainly not opposed to avoiding the stench of your human settlements for another day. Why, though?”
“I want to take one more look around the bunker.”
“Miko…”
“I know, I know. But there’s someone sneaking around in there. What if they’re scared of me?”
“Miko, that being's power was… substantial. It is not wise for you to return alone.”
“Come with me, then. Hachi and Jaken can watch Shippō.”
“Hn.”
“Please? Just one more look around. Let me try to make contact with the yōkai. Could you tell what kind it was?”
“Humanoid. He is a male.”
“Okay, well, I’m going to go hunt some dinner for Shippō. After I get him fed, I’m going back to the bunker to look for the yōkai. You can join me if you want to.”
“I’ll stay at camp while you hunt. But I will join you after the kit has eaten. Do not go inside that place without me.”
“Alright. I shouldn’t be too long.”
────── 〔✿〕──────
The sun had fully set by the time Kagome was returning to camp with another freshly cleaned pheasant and some foragings. That’s when she started to hear her name in the distance. She paused her movement, listening to verify that she was hearing something more than the wind rustling through the trees and the underbrush of the forest.
“Ka-gooooo-me!”
That was definitely not the wind. She drew her bow, cautiously making her way towards the sound of the voice as it continued to call her.
“Kagome! Ka-go-me! Are you out here?”
Her brow furrowed. She knew that voice.
Hōjō.
Chapter 9: Don’t Sell me a Dog
Notes:
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-HEED THE TAGS-
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*Please note, because this story is so trauma-laden, unlike my less dark stories, NO warnings will be given in the chapter summary when a chapter will contain potentially triggering content*
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LOOOONG chapter, ahoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Story Info - May Contain Spoilers*
Universe:
- Pre-Episode 193 Canon Compliant
Major Divergences:
- Kagome remains in the modern era instead of returning to the Warring States period after three years.
- Canon era setting altered (Kagome’s “future” time) to take place during 2011-2012 instead of 1996-2000.
- Kagome was born in 1996 instead of 1981.
Setting:
- 21st Century, Japan; Ten years post-episode 192
Tone/Genre:
- Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance, Thriller & Suspense, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Porn, Smut
Tropes:
- Sesshoumaru's Beast, Knotting, Mating Marks, Blood Adoption Ceremony, Kagome is Shippō’s Parent, Sesshoumaru is Rin’s Parent, Alpha Sesshoumaru, Powerful Higurashi Kagome, Aging Up, Hurt Sesshoumaru
Trigger Warnings:
- Rape and Sexual Assault, Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual), Child Abuse, Self-injurious behavior, Excessive or gratuitous violence, Needles, Kidnapping (forceful deprivation of/disregard for personal autonomy), Death or dying, Pregnancy/Childbirth, Miscarriages/Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Racism (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Prejudice, Slavery (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Genocide, Concentration camps (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Suicide, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Alcohol/Drug Withdrawal, Trauma, Suicide Ideation, Scars, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Alcoholism, Nightmares about Traumatic Events, Life-Changing injury, Detailed Medical Talk, Infant Death, Graphic Deaths, Mass Death, Murder, Extreme Violence, Gore, Torture, Mutilation, Cutting of Limbs, Threatening baby/child, Violence against Children, Physical Abuse, Described Blood, Graphic Violence, Drugging Someone Against Their Will, Female Oppression, Forced Breeding, Forced Pregnancy
Fandom Warnings:
- Several Major Character Deaths
- Several Major Character Undeaths
- Several Characters OOC
Published November 21, 2022 ༻❁༺ Chapter Word Count: 6,754
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don’t sell me a dog
idiom
Don't deceive or lie to me:
Chapter Nine
Kagome found him wandering just outside of the outermost spiritual barrier. She watched with thinly-veiled amusement as he approached the barrier several times before suddenly changing course, influenced by the suggestive warding spell that kept civilians from wandering beyond it. She sighed as she shielded herself and stepped through.
“Hōjō, what are you doing here?”
“I knew it! Thank Gods, Kagome! I was so worried.”
He drew her into a hug.
“What are you doing here?” She patted him on the back as she repeated the question that he’d ignored.
“Oh, right. Sorry. Uhm, well, it’s a bit of a long story.” He released her from his hug to nervously rub at the back of his neck. “So… you haven’t been answering anyone’s calls or texts. Jun was especially worried and was texting all of us non-stop all weekend. The more he texted the more worried we got - especially when you didn’t answer our calls or texts - so we cut the camping trip a few days short to check on you.”
Shit.
Kagome felt her face flush hot.
“Oh… Hōjō. I’m so sorry. My reception is terrible out here. How’d you end up finding me? Where are the others?”
“Well, you see, on our way back this morning, I thought I might have seen your car parked on the side of the road. I didn’t want to worry everyone else over nothing in case it wasn’t even yours, I mean, black Toyota’s are pretty common. I figured no sense in getting everyone worked up.
“But after I got home I went to your apartment and your car wasn’t there, you didn’t answer your door, and you still hadn’t responded to any of my texts or calls… I got worried. So I thought I’d come check and sure enough, it was your car! So here I am. I’m glad I found you myself and didn’t have to put together a search party.”
Kagome’s eyes widened. She was certainly glad for that, too. The last thing she needed was a search party stumbling around spiritual barriers on the outskirts of a prison filled with yōkai.
“Oh, Kami, Hōjō. I can’t believe you drove all the way out here just to check if it was my car! I’m so, so sorry.”
“No need, really! I had nothing better to do, anyways. I still have a few days off of work since we weren’t supposed to be heading back until Tuesday.”
“I can’t believe I ruined this trip. I feel awful.”
“I’m sure you had good reason, Higurashi. We only left two days early. Don’t worry about it.”
“I did have a good reason for all of this, I promise. But Hōjō…you need to leave.”
“W-what? No way am I leaving you out in the woods, at night, three hours from home, all by yourself! I know you’ve taken all those wilderness survival courses, Kagome, but you’re still my friend. I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you. What are you even doing out here, anyways?”
“Erm…Camping.”
“Camping?”
“Mn-hm.”
“Why?”
“Hōjō–”
Hōjō spun at the sound of a snapping branch, flashlight darting around the dark trees.
“Did you hear that?”
Kagome laughed nervously. Yeah, she’d heard it. She was pretty sure she could guess what caused it, too.
“Nope.”
Hōjō slowly turned back to Kagome, brow arched.
“Higurashi, you sure are acting strange.”
Kagome sighed.
“You’re not going to let it go this time, are you?”
“No chance. Everything about this entire situation since the moment you had to pull over the other day… it’s just way too strange, Higurashi. Even for you.”
Kagome groaned, tilting her head back and taking a deep breath.
Could this weekend possibly get anymore stressful?
She wasn’t entirely sure that she wanted the answer to that.
“You’re right, it is strange… even for me. I guess I don’t really have a choice if you’re not going to leave. Come on.”
She started walking, leaving a sputtering Hōjō behind as she made her way back towards camp. She supposed ten years was an impressive amount of time to keep such a big secret. Plus, the poor guy had been dealing with her lies for the entire decade.
Through it all, he’d remained her most loyal, understanding friend. And she was tired. So, so tired. Of all of it. The dodging questions, the excuses, the lying. It was time that he learn the truth. Out of all of her friends, she was certain that Hōjō was the most likely to take it in stride… and to keep her secret to himself.
“Hōjō-kun, what I’m about to show you is going to be… a lot. I need you to stay calm, though, alright?”
“Sure, Kagome. You know me, you can tell me anything.”
“I know, that’s why I’m trusting you. That’s why you’re the only person outside of my family that I’m trusting with this, Hōjō-kun. Please, don’t let me down.”
“When have I ever, Kagome?” His smile dazzled even in the dark. Kagome forced a friendly, tired one in return.
“Never. You’ve always been reliable. I don’t want that to change… but you’re only human.”
He cocked his head at her. Kagome debated telling him before showing him, unsure of which would be easier to process. She spun on her heel, placing both hands on his shoulders and looking him sternly in the eyes.
“Hōjō.”
“H-Higurashi?”
“Yōkai are real.”
He laughed.
“Don’t laugh. I’m serious. When I was fifteen, I traveled five hundred years into the past. Yōkai were everywhere. It was totally normal to run into kitsune, tanuki, kappa, oni, imps… you name it. Also, I’ve met your ancestor, Akitoki. He was in love with me. So much so that he convinced his wife to change her name to Kagome, that’s why your ancestral scroll had my name on it.”
“Kagome… is this some kind of joke? It’s not very funny…”
“No, it’s not a joke. I swear, Hōjō. Everything I’m telling you is the truth… for once.”
“Did you hit your head out here? Do you maybe have a fever?” He placed his hand on her forehead, comparing the temperature of her skin to his.
Kagome huffed, blowing her bangs out around his hand.
“Hōjō, Please. Believe me. All of the school I missed in our last year of junior high… it wasn’t because I was sick. It was because I was traveling back and forth between the past and the present. I was the guardian of the Shikon-no-Tama and it broke into hundreds of pieces. I spent an entire year collecting the shards from all over sixteenth century Japan.”
He continued to just blink at her, brow furrowed.
“Kagome, you’re really, really starting to worry me.”
She bit back a frustrated growl. Of course he wouldn’t believe her, she was well aware that she sounded completely insane. Then it hit her.
“Look.” She summoned reiki to her palm and his eyes widened.
“W-what is that?” He bent his head, looking beneath her hand as if he’d find a source for the light there.
“It’s reiki. I’m a miko. A real one. So, do you believe me now?”
“Well, jeez, Kagome, there’s not really another explanation for… for that.”
“Okay, good. Stay with me, now. I’m not crazy, Hōjō. I promise. This next part is going to be really, really hard to process. I’m going to introduce you to some friends that I made while collecting pieces of the jewel. I need you to promise me you’ll never tell anyone about them.”
“Of course, I promise… but Kagome… this… I–”
“I know. Trust me, I know. I went through this same shock. You’ve just got to roll with the punches for me, okay? Are you sure you want to know more? You can go back to your car and forget everything I’ve said. I’m giving you an out.”
“No, I want to know. You can trust me, Kagome.” He finally shook off the shock, puffing up in a way that reminded her very much of Akitoki. She offered him a weak smile.
“Alright, come on, then.”
Kagome led him through the trees, shielding their way through the two spiritual barriers before coming to the clearing where her friends were camped. Hachi, Shippō, and Jaken were sitting by the fire, staring at her with wide eyes when she emerged from the treeline with Hōjō.
As she’d expected, Sesshōmaru was nowhere to be found. She was willing to bet he was the source of the sound that scared poor Hōjō. Kagome unfurled her aura, searching for her rogue daiyōkai. Her eyes narrowed. She knew he was masking when she couldn’t locate his yōki. She also knew that he was somewhere nearby. He hadn’t been alone since she’d rescued him from the bunker.
“Where’s Sesshōmaru?”
Shippō pointed, prompting Hōjō to turn around and come face to face with the intimidating inuyōkai. His human brain was instantly overwhelmed, mouth opening and closing several times like a fish out of water. When Sesshōmaru flashed him a fanged smirk, Hōjō immediately lost consciousness. Kagome went down with him when she tried to prevent the fall, their bodies crashing to the ground in a tangle of limbs. She glowered at Sesshōmaru as he looked down, still smirking. Kagome propped herself up, resting Hōjō’s head in her lap and fanning him off with her hand.
“You didn’t have to do that, Sesshōmaru.”
“I was merely ensuring your safety.”
“Were you following us the whole time?”
“Of course.”
She sighed. Before she could continue chastising the daiyōkai, Hōjō groaned, his eyes slowly opening.
“Higurashi? I had the weirdest dre–” He paled when his eyes landed on Sesshōmaru. Shippō crawled forward, cautious.
“Hi, I’m Shippō.”
“K-kitsune?”
“Hey! He got it right, Mama!”
“He sure did.” Kagome ruffled the little kit’s hair.
“Did he say ‘M-Mama’? Kagome, when–”
“Not biological, Hōjō. I adopted him when I was fifteen.”
“Oh… wow, this is a lot… is that a tanuki? And… and… a frog?” Jaken huffed at that, the first noise she’d heard him make since Sesshōmaru had taken him from his cell. “Oh my Gods, yōkai are real. This is insane! I must be insane!”
“Hōjō, calm down. I know–”
“And what is he?” Hōjō pointed, staring at Sesshōmaru with wide eyes as the daiyōkai casually leaned against a tree, inspecting his claws. His eyelids narrowed as his golden gaze flickered to the sputtering human.
“He’s Inuyōkai.” Kagome supplied.
“Daiyōkai.” Sesshōmaru corrected, his focus back on his claws.
Kagome rolled her eyes.
“Sorry, how rude of me. Allow me to introduce you properly, m’lord. Hōjō, this is Sesshōmaru-sama of the Kagengetsu Clan, Lord of the West, firstborn son of Tōga, the great and terrible Inu no Taishō–”
“Miko.” Sesshōmaru’s arms had fallen to his sides, his passive facade broken as he scowled at her.
Kagome grinned, triumphant.
Hōjō looked back and forth between the two, still just blinking over and over again, as if anticipating that the entire campsite and its inhabitants would disappear during one of his blinks.
“I must be insane.”
Sesshōmaru sighed.
“Is it so hard to believe that there are lifeforms beyond your puny human existence?”
“I… well, no… I guess not… but–”
“Then cease your inane attempts to convince yourself that you are touched in the head. You are not insane, you are lucky. You should feel honored. For Kagome to trust you with this–” his accusatory gaze pointedly landed on the miko. “-without so much as consulting us, first… she must consider you a very close friend. Or… perhaps you are merely someone that she wishes dead? Make no mistake, human, if you do tell anyone about us, I will kill you.”
The small smile that accompanied his promise was chilling.
“R-right. U-uhm, I–”
“He really is just like Akitoki, Mama. Now I get how you recognized him.”
“Y-you knew my ancestor?”
“Uh-huh! He was my servant for a while.” Shippō puffed up before realizing what he’d just revealed, shrinking beneath the confused glare that Kagome cast upon him. “Oops.” The kitsune laughed nervously.
“What do you mean he was your servant?” Kagome was clearly not amused, making the kit shrink further away.
“W-well, I caught him spying on us and Sango in the onsen–”
“And you blackmailed him rather than telling us?”
The kit laughed again, rubbing the back of his head.
“I was just a kid!”
“You’re still just a kid and if Inuyasha was here he’d put a lump on that head of yours… and for once you’d deserve it. You can’t go around blackmailing people, Shippō. Don’t ever do that again. And more importantly, if you ever see someone spying on me while I’m taking a bath, you tell me!”
“Y-yes, Mama. I’m sorry. I promise I’ll never do it again.”
“Good boy. It’s getting late. Hōjō, you should stay with us for tonight. It’s a long drive back to Tokyo. I have to warn you, though, it might be dangerous out here.”
“A-are there more yōkai?”
“Hundreds. Maybe thousands. But they’re locked in an underground prison. That’s where I found my friends.”
“Your f-friends were in p-prison?” Hōjō slowly sat up from Kagome’s lap.
“It’s more like a concentration camp.” When Kagome’s gaze settled on his, Hōjō’s eyes widened. She knew he’d jumped to the conclusion that they were locked up for crimes of some sort, as if they’d deserved to be imprisoned. The comparison to a concentration camp was enough to make him realize they were detained for nothing more than existing as yōkai.
“Oh… Oh no. I’m so sorry.”
Sesshōmaru’s critical eyes landed on Kagome, aware that he was missing something vital from the exchange with the way Hōjō had quickly gone from fearful to sympathetic.
“Miko, what is a ‘concentration camp’?”
“I’ll explain another time. For now, let’s get some proper introductions out of the way. Hōjō, this is my son, Shippō, the tanuki’s name is Hachiemon, or Hachi… you’ve already been introduced to The Lord of the West…” Kagome ignored the growl and the glare. “Sesshōmaru, where’s Jaken?”
He continued to sulk for a moment before answering.
“I believe he has taken Mokomoko into the tent.”
“Oh, well, the imp - not frog - is called Jaken. He’s Sesshōmaru’s most trusted retainer and advisor.” Sesshōmaru scoffed, prompting Kagome to shoot him with the dirtiest look she could muster. She was trying to make Jaken feel better. “He’s also Sesshōmaru’s oldest friend.”
The daiyōkai’s gaze softened at that.
“Hn.”
Kagome heard Jaken rustling around in the tent, his head poking out to observe the conversation.
“Oh, Jaken, you’re awake. I’m about to make dinner. Are you hungry?”
His weary eyes settled on her before he nodded, shuffling from the tent, wrapped in Mokomoko and making his best attempt to keep it from touching the ground as he settled at Shippō's side by the fire. Shippō promptly draped an arm around the imp, who sighed contentedly and leaned into the embrace.
When Kagome went to stand, Hōjō beat her to it, helping her to her feet as he got on his own. He cleared his throat before extending a hand to Sesshōmaru as he spoke.
"Well, it's very nice to meet you all! Im Hōjō Akitomo and I can assure you, your secrets are safe with me! Kagome has been one of my closest friends for almost my entire life. Any friend of hers is a friend of mine!”
Sesshōmaru sighed, turning away from Hōjō’s outstretched hand and settling at the base of a nearby tree, his back facing the camp, his arm slung across a bent knee and Bakusaiga resting against his shoulder.
Hōjō laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Well, gee. He sure is friendly.”
“He’s always been like that. Don’t worry about him. He doesn’t like anyone. You can come sit next to me, Hōjō!” Shippō patted the space by his side that had not been claimed by Jaken.
“Thank you, Shippō.” He took the offered seat before continuing casual conversation while Kagome began to prepare their dinner. “So, Shippō, how old are you?”
“Hm… let’s see… hey, Mama, does the time I was sleeping count for my age?”
“Nope.”
“Okay… so then I was four hundred and twenty six before… and then… well, hm. I don’t know how long I was awake for.” Shippō frowned at his hands, his voice breaking. “I… I don’t know how old I am anymore, Mama.”
Before Kagome could even think of what to say, Sesshōmaru’s smooth baritone spoke up from the edge of camp where he remained perched.
“It does not matter, kit. Yōkai do not keep track of our age as humans do. You are four centuries, give or take a few decades. That is all that you need to know. Decades for us are like months for humans. They mean nothing. Your mother would not give her age in years and months.”
“O-oh, okay, Sesshōmaru. Thanks.” Shippō sniffled, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.
Kagome looked over to the daiyōkai, whose gaze was already on her. She mouthed her own thanks, earning her a nod before he turned away again.
“He’s right, Ship. I’d say that I’m twenty-six years old, not that I’m twenty-six years and two months old.”
“W-wait… Mama? Weren’t you only fifteen the last time you saw me?”
“Yeah, Ship, I was. The well stopped working a few months before my sixteenth birthday. It’s been a little more than ten years for me.”
“I thought humans aged really fast. You don’t look any different.”
Hōjō laughed then, the incredibly confused look that Kagome had been monitoring dissipating entirely with his mirth.
“Your mom hasn’t changed a bit since junior high.” He leaned and conspiratorially play-whispered to the kitsune. “All the girls are always jealous of her.”
“Hōjō, knock it off. They are not.”
“Are too! Don’t let her fool you. Kagome has always been one of the most popular girls from our graduating class. All of the ladies want to be her and all of the fellas want to be with her. No one’s good enough for our Kagome, though.”
She rolled her eyes, gearing up to call him a dork when Shippō's words jilted her into silence.
“Well, that’s probably because of Inuyasha.” The way Kagome faltered at the kit's declaration didn’t escape his notice. “What? What did I say?”
“Nothing Ship. It’s not because of Inuyasha. For a while it was. Now I just… haven’t found the right guy.”
Hōjō scoffed, earning him a glare from the increasingly frustrated miko.
“Got something to say, Hōjō?”
“No, but Jun might.”
“Hōjō.” The look she hit him with was enough to get him to drop his eyes along with the topic.
“Who is Jun, Mama?”
“No one, Ship. Here, eat your dinner and then we’ll go wash up for bed. You need sleep.”
Kagome pointedly ignored Hōjō’s apologetic expression as she passed out paper plates filled with food. She wasn’t feeling very hungry after the reminder of Jun, so once she’d gotten everyone else set up with their dinner, she wandered away from camp, eager to get some fresh air and space.
The stress of everything was finally starting to hit her. She was supposed to be on vacation, relaxing. Instead she was getting buried beneath problem after problem. Why did Hōjō have to show up? She groaned. Because of him she’d completely forgotten about the poor yōkai in the bunker. She didn’t trust herself to try to find a daiyōkai in the dark after the day she’d had. She was exhausted, mentally, emotionally, and physically.
She wasn’t sure how long she’d been aimlessly meandering through the woods, but eventually she came upon an unfamiliar part of the stream that they’d camped near. Kagome plunked down at the edge of the water, splashing some on her face and fighting back tears. She sensed Sesshōmaru’s aura reach out in gentle greeting as he approached.
“Miko?”
“Hi, Sesshōmaru.” She pushed herself up to her feet. “I just needed to get away from camp for a bit. Sorry.”
“There is no need to apologize. Did you want to be alone?”
“No.” His presence was soothing, quiet, calming. Not that she’d ever tell him that. Instead she wrapped her arms around one of his as they walked towards a hill a short distance away from the stream. Once they reached the top of the small hill, Sesshōmaru set down Mokomoko, gesturing for Kagome to take a seat on the soft pelt.
“Managed to get this back from Jaken, huh?”
Sesshōmaru snorted as he settled next to her, gaze fixed on the stars.
“Yes, it was no easy feat. He’s become rather attached to it. Fortunately, he fell fast asleep alongside the kit after eating.”
Great.
Kagome held in an exasperated sigh. Shippō had fallen asleep while she was out wandering, probably with his dirty little hands and feet all over the bedding. She didn’t even get to tuck him in. One deep breath later and she pushed it to the back of her mind, focusing instead on the positive.
“You’re sweet for letting him use it. I know you’re pretty attached to it, yourself.”
“Well, it is my tail.”
Kagome laughed.
“Kami, I keep forgetting that. It’s so weird.”
“You find my tail ‘weird’?”
“No, I find it weird that something I thought was just an accessory is actually a part of your body.”
“Hn. I suppose that would be a jarring revelation.”
“So, why isn’t it actually attached to you, like Shippō’s tails are?”
“It is. Shippō is already in his true form. I am not. When I am in my true form, Mokomoko is no longer detached.”
“Hunh. Interesting. So, it’s just a part of you that isn’t hidden when you’re in this form?”
“Hn.”
Kagome ran her hands through the fluffy pelt, prompting that pleased rumble to vibrate through the daiyōkai as his eyelids began to flutter.
“Wait, can you feel that?”
His eyes immediately snapped open, all sound ceasing.
“Of course I can, miko. We have established this. It is a part of me.”
“Wow. Oh wait… that means… Awh! You’ve been basically snuggling with Jaken all day. That’s so cute!” She gave him a teasing elbow, laughing as his lips thinned and features pinched.
“Miko.”
“Oh, calm down. I’m just teasing.”
He responded with an annoyed growl, prompting another round of giggles from the miko. She leaned over, resting her head on his shoulder as her laughter died off. “Thank you, Sesshōmaru.”
“Whatever for?”
“Just… being here. Comforting me. Taking my mind off of stuff.”
“Would you care to enlighten me as to the sort of ‘stuff’ that has prompted a need for comfort?”
“Ugh. No.”
“If it has anything to do with that bumbling human that you’ve brought into our camp, I will gladly remove his limbs if you so desire.”
Kagome laughed, playfully slapping his arm as she sat up and joined the daiyōkai in gazing at the stars.
“What do you have against Hōjō, anyways?”
“He is human.”
“Pft. I thought you got past all those old prejudices?”
“Hn. For the most part, I suppose. That particular one I find bothersome.”
“Why?”
“Because he upsets you.”
Kagome’s focus shifted to him, surprised to find him already staring at her. For the briefest moment, there was something in his eyes that made her breath hitch. It disappeared as quickly as it had come, leaving Kagome wondering if she’d imagined it. His intense gaze continued to hold hers, though. She found it all at once difficult to continue looking at him and difficult to look away. Eventually, her eyes fell to her hands as she spoke.
“It wasn’t him that upset me. He just… he’s trying to be a good friend. He has a very strong opinion about something that isn’t really his business.”
“Hn.” Sesshōmaru’s attention shifted back to the stars. “I will not pry. You have already expressed a disinclination to discuss whatever it is. I will listen if you feel the need to divulge at any point.”
Kagome smiled. Even when he was being open, Sesshōmaru’s vulnerability felt… clinical. She leaned her head on his shoulder again and together they sat, stargazing in silence for an unmeasured stretch of time.
Kagome couldn’t remember falling asleep when she woke up the following morning, but she blinked into consciousness beneath the soft pastels of the sunrise. The sound of summer insects and birds sang together, nature’s alarm. The first thing she became aware of was her body tangled around Sesshōmaru’s. The second was the wet dew of the grass in which they were both sprawled. The third was that Sesshōmaru snored, softly, almost puppy-like. She suppressed a laugh at the comparison.
His eyes snapped open as soon as she started to stir. He calmed as he took in his surroundings, registering where they were. His body stretched languidly, fangs making an appearance as he released a long yawn. Kagome was once again reminded of a dog. Funny, that. It was easy to remember that Inuyasha was… well, inu. But Sesshōmaru, something about him was more ethereal, fae-like. His demeanor didn’t scream DOG like Inuyasha’s did. In fact, Kagome would have trouble identifying exactly what type of yōkai Sesshōmaru was while in his humanoid form. Ever since bringing him home with her, though, she’d noticed a lot of a little quirks that reminded her more of Ikigai than any human. He cocked his head when he noticed her staring. The inu-esque gesture was the final straw. She couldn't hold the laugh in. His head tilted even further at her sudden outburst.
“Something interesting, miko?”
“No, nothing at all, inuyōkai.”
He eyed her suspiciously when she smirked.
Kagome sat up, coming to a rest on her knees and stretching her arms above her head. When she settled and her eyes met Sesshōmaru’s, his attention snapped elsewhere as if she’d caught him doing something he shouldn’t be. It was her turn to eye him suspiciously.
“What are you up to, huh?”
His brows furrowed as he shifted his attention back to her.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Before she could further interrogate him, he was on his feet, pulling Mokomoko out from beneath her and causing Kagome to topple over.
“Hey! That wasn’t very nice!”
“Hn. Kneeling on one’s tail is also not nice.” His nose pointed haughtily in the air as he draped his pelt over his shoulder and began to slowly walk down the hill, hair swaying in the morning breeze.
Kagome growled as she hopped to her feet and jogged to catch up with the aloof daiyōkai.
As they made their way back to camp, Kagome managed to find some berries for breakfast. She collected several branches to share with her campmates. Hōjō was propped against a tree, already awake when they got back. Everyone else was in the tent, soft snores joining the cacophony of bugs and birds for the early morning soundtrack.
Hōjō stood, gesturing with his head in quiet request for Kagome to follow as he walked out into the woods. She set down the berries before setting off after him, glad when Sesshōmaru remained at camp.
When they were far enough away that Hōjō assumed they wouldn’t be overheard, he turned and began to talk.
“Kagome, about last night–”
“Hōjō, we’ve had this conversation a dozen times. I know you don’t like Jun. We don’t need to get into this again. Honestly, I really just can’t. Not with everything else going on right now.”
“It isn’t that I don’t like Jun, Kagome… it’s that you don’t. You shouldn’t let Ren–”
“Please, Hōjō. I love you. I do. You’ve become closer to me than even Yuka and Eri–Gods don’t tell either of them I said that– but it’s true. You’re like a brother to me. But do you see what I’m dealing with? Here, walk with me.”
He sighed as he followed Kagome, unaware that he was being led to a bunker filled with yōkai. Hōjō gasped when it came into view.
“What is that place?”
“A prison. For yōkai. Built by dark mikos.”
“What are ‘dark mikos’?”
“They’re mikos who have tainted spiritual power because they use it for evil. The people who put my friends here… they were evil, Hōjō. They used their powers to torture and trap yōkai. My friends spent centuries in this awful place before they were just… abandoned here.”
“I… Kagome my hairs are standing up. I’m covered in goosebumps. This place feels… wrong.”
“See, that’s how horrible it is, Hōjō. You don’t even have any spiritual powers and you can sense the tainted aura. When we were driving by here on Friday, I felt it from the road. I… I had a panic attack. That’s why I pulled over.”
“Oh, Higurashi. You should have said something!”
“Like what? ‘Hey, sorry guys, but I sense a few hundred yōkai in great suffering, I need to turn around and go follow their auras through the woods!’ Don’t you remember how you reacted last night? Everyone would think I’m crazy.”
“I guess you’re right… and you’ve been dealing with this all by yourself for ten years?”
“Well, yes and no. You know that old well on my family’s property? It was… a portal. That’s how I traveled back and forth through time. It stopped working about a year after I first started traveling there. Long story short, I never sensed any yōkai in this time. Not until Friday. That’s because these awful people have either killed them or trapped them here. Now it’s all on my shoulders to figure out which ones are safe to free and what to do with the ones that aren’t.”
“I can help, if you need it–”
“Hōjō, no. I’m not getting you mixed up in this. The reason I’m even telling you about it is so that you understand the level of stress I’m under right now. I’m in my last semester of school and I’ve had to take a leave of absence.”
“No! Kagome! You’ve worked so hard!”
“I know. There’s nothing I can do, though. You didn’t see the conditions inside of this place… you can’t imagine. I can’t leave hundreds of souls to suffer in there while I go to school. How could I live with myself if I did something so selfish? I'm studying to be a doctor to save lives... and I just let hundreds of lives that could be saved hang in the balance? It wouldn't be right.”
Hōjō sighed.
“I completely understand, I do. It’s just… so awful. You’ve been doing so well, Kagome. I really thought we’d lost you ten years ago.” He got a pensive look on his face. “Shippō, he said that the last time you saw him was ten years ago? Is that why you were so depressed? Is that when the... uhm... portal closed? I’m guessing he wasn’t the only friend you lost.”
“No, he wasn’t. I had a lot of really close friends that I just got torn away from. I… I’d been planning to stay on that side of the well, to live in the past.”
“Oh... Hm. Everything makes so much sense, now that I think about it. Kagome… You’ve come such a long way since then. I don’t want to see you like that again. You’re not alone this time. Please, take care of yourself and don’t hesitate to come to me if you need anything.”
Kagome threw her arms around him, wrapping him in a big hug.
“Thank you, Hōjō. I knew I could trust you.”
“Of course you can. I… I love you, Kagome. A-and not like a sister. But I think you’ve always known that. I know you see me as a brother and if that’s the way that you want me in your life, then I’ll gladly accept that role.”
“Oh… Hōjō. I’m sorry–”
“No, no! Don’t apologize. We can’t help who we love… or don’t love.” He sighed, pulling out of her hug and holding her by her shoulders as he spoke, a big smile on his face. “I think you’re really special, Kagome. I always have. That’s why I’ll always be here for you. No matter what.” He gave her shoulders a squeeze before releasing her. “Now then, I should probably head home and let everyone know that you’re okay, that you just didn’t have reception. Don't worry, I won't tell them where you've been.”
Kagome gave him a big, relieved smile.
“Thank you, Hōjō.”
“Anytime, Higurashi."
They left the bunker behind in companionable silence. Kagome shielded him through the two spiritual barriers before they said their goodbyes. She sent him on his way with one more hug and the coordinates to where her car was parked so that he could use his phone’s GPS to get back to the road.
When she got back to camp, everyone was awake, gathered around the dying fire and enjoying the berries she’d foraged. Even Sesshōmaru was snacking on some.
“Morning, Mama! Did Hōjō leave?”
“Mhm, he had to get back home. I’m sure he would have said goodbye if he knew you were all awake.”
“I dunno, he was acting awful funny after you left the camp last night. I don’t think he likes us very much.” Shippō frowned at his hand-full of berries.
“I’m sure that’s not true, Ship. He was just really shocked, is all. You’ve got to understand… yōkai don’t exist in this time.”
“At all? Are you certain, Kagome? Perhaps they are just masking or hiding beneath enchantments.” Hachi transformed himself into a perfect replica of Hōjō to drive home his point. Kagome offered a sad smile.
“While it’s possible, I’ve looked. Hard. For more than a decade, Hachi. I’ve never sensed any sort of ki until I happened to drive by this place.”
“Well, who's to say there are not more places that you haven’t happened upon? We shapeshifters were surviving well into the nineteenth century in hidden camps, disguising ourselves as humans. We even made charms for yōkai that could not shapeshift. It was a very profitable business. I cannot imagine that there is not at least one remaining settlement.”
“Why was I never made aware of such settlements, tanuki?” Sesshōmaru was glaring disdainfully at Hachi.
“M-my lord? I was under the impression that you were made aware, that you rejected the idea of blending in with the humans.”
“I rejected the idea of blending in with humans. I was never informed of any safehavens for yōkai.”
“Well, my lord, forgive me but the two were one in the same. The safehavens would not have remained safe had yōki not been suppressed and appearances disguised. I presume that Ms. Kyubi did not bother informing you of the settlements after you vehemently rejected the idea of suppressing your yōki and living as a human.”
“And that is how you chose to live for several centuries? Pretending to be something that you were not?”
“It kept me safe. I have no regrets. I led a good life before Miroku betrayed me.”
“Miroku? What?” Shippō dropped the berries he’d been gathering from one of the collected branches at the mention of Miroku. Kagome covered her face with her hands. She didn’t want to break the news to Shippō, especially not like that.
“Ship… do you remember the oni sorceress that made clay soldiers? The one that brought back Kikyō?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, someone did that to Miroku.”
“Wh-what?”
“They also did it to Sango and Kohaku… and who knows who else.”
“B-botan-sama and Momiji-sama.”
“Who?”
“You remember them, Mama. They were the mikos that Tsubaki tricked into attacking us… they made the big shikigami of you and Inuyasha.”
“They were the ones who gave you special treats in the prison?”
“Uh-huh. I always wondered how they were alive. They still looked like they did back when you met them, too. And I knew them in the prison for years and they never changed.”
“I see. Do you remember anyone else like that? Did they smell like graveyard soil, Ship? Like Kikyō?”
Shippō’s voice was shaky when he responded, tears threatening to spill over.
“I… I couldn’t smell them. I couldn’t smell anything.” His eyes clenched shut and Kagome noticed Sesshōmaru’s fists ball and tremble in her peripheral vision. When she shifted her focus to him, his eyes were bleeding red, jaw tense. She decided it was a good time to drop the discussion.
“Okay, Ship, that’s okay, don’t cry. Come here.” She outstretched her arms and he ran to her, throwing himself into her hug.
“Mama, they… were nice to me. Botan-sama and Momiji-sama. They didn’t like the prison. They said they had to follow orders. M-maybe Miroku was the same?”
Hachi scoffed, folding his arms.
Kagome took a deep breath.
“Shippō, I loved Miroku just as much as you. He was part of our pack. But there’s no excuse. ‘Following orders’ is an easy way to avoid taking responsibility for actions. They had a choice. If I had to make the same choice, I would die before ‘following orders’ to hurt someone else. No more of this for now. Let’s go home.”
Her tone brooked no argument. She stood and began gathering supplies and stuffing them haphazardly into her backpack. Kagome’d had just about enough stress, enough tears, enough anger to last for the rest of her life. Guilt nagged in the back of her mind, reminding her that a yōkai was loose in the bunker and likely in need of her help. She chose to make a decision that she'd personally deem selfish, to focus on her mental health, to focus on the yōkai she’d already freed. Jaken, Shippō, and Hachi needed warm baths, healthy meals, and rest in a plush, comfortable bed. They needed to heal. And frankly, so did she. She was certain Sesshōmaru wouldn’t object to some relaxation, either.
So, she decided, she would take a week to recuperate, to figure out how to move forward with rescuing the remaining yōkai, and what to do with them afterwards.
The group packed up their campsite and Kagome filled them in on modern society as they all made their way back to her car, Shippō occasionally chiming in to add things he’d already learned from both Kagome and Inuyasha during their travels together throughout the Muromachi period.
As they neared the road, Hachi and Shippō transformed into human facades, and Sesshōmaru wrapped Jaken in Mokomoko to keep the imp hidden from human eyes. Shippō was excited to show Kagome that he could transform for extended periods of time without so much as his tail breaking the illusion.
The three new yōkai companions were not amused by Kagome’s car, all of them nauseated and uncomfortable for the duration of the ride. As they neared Tokyo, Shippō began to complain about being hungry, so Kagome stopped at one of the Wacdnalds’s that she knew had a drive-thru, from which she proceeded to order so much food that it was a half an hour wait before it was ready.
As they neared her family shrine, Kagome considered stopping to pick up Ikigai. She ultimately decided against it, not wanting to further overwhelm the trio of yōkai by throwing her hyperactive dog into the mix. She would get him in the morning, giving her houseguests time to adjust to the apartment and get some rest.
By the time they made it home, Shippō had engulfed an entire bag’s worth of take-out and promptly crashed into what looked to be a food coma. Sesshōmaru was on his third fruit parfait, Hachi was still munching on french fries and Jaken was happily nuzzling into Sesshōmaru’s chest as he continued to nap, having not woken through the entire drive home. The ragtag little bunch headed for the apartment, Sesshōmaru carrying a sleeping Jaken, Kagome carrying a sleeping Shippō, and Hachi stuffing his face with more french fries as he hobbled behind them, arms loaded with all of the take-out bags. Kagome hoped there would be food left for Jaken when he woke up. If not, she supposed she could make him something special.
Kagome just about collapsed when she made it through the door, overjoyed to be home. Before she could rest herself, she would have to clear out the spare bedroom... whose previous purpose was merely to store a lifetime supply of Kagome's junk. She groaned.
It had been the longest weekend of her life.
Chapter 10: Dog Days
Notes:
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-HEED THE TAGS-
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*Please note, because this story is so trauma-laden, unlike my less dark stories, NO warnings will be given in the chapter summary when a chapter will contain potentially triggering content*
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Aiyaaaaaa it's been a long time since I've updated any of my writing. It's been a rough... month? Idek. And here we are updating with boring ass setup stuff with no real plot advancement. Are you excited? Me neither. Idk it's kinda fluffy tho. Next chapter has MORE ACTIONS. By action I mean something more than lazing about the house while recovering from a very stressful weekend of yōkai liberation.EDIT: Oops we had the wrong chapter name on this one. It has been changed.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Story Info - May Contain Spoilers*
Universe:
- Pre-Episode 193 Canon Compliant
Major Divergences:
- Kagome remains in the modern era instead of returning to the Warring States period after three years.
- Canon era setting altered (Kagome’s “future” time) to take place during 2011-2012 instead of 1996-2000.
- Kagome was born in 1996 instead of 1981.
Setting:
- 21st Century, Japan; Ten years post-episode 192
Tone/Genre:
- Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance, Thriller & Suspense, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Porn, Smut
Tropes:
- Sesshoumaru's Beast, Knotting, Mating Marks, Blood Adoption Ceremony, Kagome is Shippō’s Parent, Sesshoumaru is Rin’s Parent, Alpha Sesshoumaru, Powerful Higurashi Kagome, Aging Up, Hurt Sesshoumaru
Trigger Warnings:
- Rape and Sexual Assault, Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual), Child Abuse, Self-injurious behavior, Excessive or gratuitous violence, Needles, Kidnapping (forceful deprivation of/disregard for personal autonomy), Death or dying, Pregnancy/Childbirth, Miscarriages/Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Racism (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Prejudice, Slavery (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Genocide, Concentration camps (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Suicide, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Alcohol/Drug Withdrawal, Trauma, Suicide Ideation, Scars, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Alcoholism, Nightmares about Traumatic Events, Life-Changing injury, Detailed Medical Talk, Infant Death, Graphic Deaths, Mass Death, Murder, Extreme Violence, Gore, Torture, Mutilation, Cutting of Limbs, Threatening baby/child, Violence against Children, Physical Abuse, Described Blood, Graphic Violence, Drugging Someone Against Their Will, Female Oppression, Forced Breeding, Forced Pregnancy
Fandom Warnings:
- Several Major Character Deaths
- Several Major Character Undeaths
- Several Characters OOC
Published December 22, 2022 ༻❁༺ Chapter Word Count: 5,147
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Dog Days
idiom
a period of inactivity or sluggishness; a period of stagnation or inactivity:
Chapter Ten
Kagome was relieved when Sesshōmaru managed to make a path through the boxes and clear off the bed in her spare bedroom with very little effort. They put Jaken and Shippō in the bed to continue their afternoon nap while the remaining trio finished eating in the living room.
Hachi had to touch everything, fascinated by every book, piece of furniture, and knick-knack he could get his little paws on. When he discovered the shower, it was all over. He was in bliss. Fortunately, he seemed to be the only one of the group that preferred his alone time, so Kagome didn't have to bathe with the raccoon dog. That was certainly one anatomical myth that she was not eager to verify the validity of.
Sesshōmaru hadn't said a thing since leaving the campsite. In fact, he'd been incredibly agitated and uptight from the moment that Shippō had mentioned not being able to smell anything while imprisoned.
His leg had been bouncing for several minutes as they sat in awkward silence beside one another on the couch. Kagome sighed as she moved to face him and kneel on the cushion at his side to better reach his head. When she began to scratch his scalp, his eyes fluttered closed as he leaned into her touch, the all too familiar rumble building in his chest. He groaned when she began to massage his ears. He settled back against the couch, face tilted towards the ceiling.
"Miko, what are you doing?" The way he asked made it almost seem as if she had offended him, yet, his eyes remained closed and he continued to lean into her touch.
"Relaxing you."
"Hn."
"Want me to stop?"
"You may proceed."
Kagome giggled as her fingers slid down his ears and transitioned into his thick mane of hair, hands carding through the long silver tresses.
"How is your hair this beautiful?"
"You think that my hair is beautiful?"
She snorted.
"Sesshōmaru, there isn't a being on this planet that wouldn't think your hair is beautiful."
He puffed up a bit, preening beneath her praise.
"You may braid it if you’d like. Rin always enjoyed doing so for some reason. I suspect it must be a human female proclivity."
Kagome laughed.
"It’s because, like I said, your hair is beautiful. Who wouldn't want to play in it?"
"Mn. It took me a very long time to allow her to."
"Well, I'm glad she got the opportunity because I'm positive I've never touched anything so luxurious in my life."
She reached over him to grab the remote, switching on the tv and browsing through various streaming platforms for an interesting documentary. She turned on one about an array of inventions throughout the ages.
Sesshōmaru settled on the floor between her legs, sitting closer to the television, captivated as Kagome braided his hair. She was relieved to see him relaxing, his contagious nerves settling and allowing her to relax in turn.
He'd learned to master the remote and navigate through every streaming platform she was subscribed to within the hour. Before she knew it, night had fallen and Jaken and Shippō were peeking at them through the cracked bedroom door as Kagome continued to braid, unbraid, then re-braid Sesshōmaru’s hair in various styles. The daiyōkai paused the TV when he sensed the intrusion.
"Jaken. Kit."
The two small yōkai scurried out from the room, Shippō climbing into Kagome's lap while Jaken cautiously approached Sesshōmaru. The daiyōkai set Mokomoko on the floor beside him before unpausing the documentary about airplanes that he had been watching.
Jaken settled into Mokomoko, a big smile on his little beak and water in his eyes. Kagome’s own smile faltered when she realized the imp hadn’t eaten anything but berries earlier that morning, driving those motherly instincts of hers into high-gear.
"Are you hungry, Jaken? I made sure to save you some food before the rest of these heathens could eat it all." She playfully ruffled Shippō’s hair.
The imp glanced over his shoulder at Kagome, assessing her for a second before nodding eagerly.
"Wanna come see what we have? I'll heat up whatever you think smells good."
He nodded again and Kagome stood, leading him to the refrigerator. She was aware of Sesshōmaru’s gaze frequently sliding towards them as Kagome showed Jaken all of the foods. He cringed at the Wacdnalds leftovers, pulling a package of frozen shrimp from the freezer instead. He handed it to Kagome with wide, pleading eyes. She was surprised he could smell it through the freezer’s closed door and the sealed packaging. Yōkai senses would never cease to amaze her.
“You want shrimp? That’s fine. I can make this in a snap. Here, let’s look through my spices. You can pick out the ones you like so that I know how to prepare this for you. I don’t know how sensitive your taste buds are and I don’t want to put you through the curry fiascos that I dealt with when cooking for Inuyasha. He was never fond of very spicy things. ”
Kagome smiled, lost in fond - and, perhaps, some not so fond - memories as she set several spices, herbs, sauces, and various other ingredients on the table. Jaken seemed pleased as he sampled their scents, smile widening when he found ones he liked. He very carefully paired several flavorings together and pushed them towards Kagome.
“Let's see... dashi, garlic, soy, saké, ginger, mirin... Wow, you’ve got a real nose for flavor combinations, Jaken. You’d make a great chef, I bet. Yup, this is perfect for some Ankake Donburi. Let me get some rice going, you choose your favorite veggies and we’ll whip something up in no time at all.”
Kagome clapped her hands together, Jaken responding with a grin and a nod as he began to rummage through the vegetable drawer.
Less than half an hour later, the smell of Kagome’s cooking drew Hachi from the bathroom and had Shippō perching on her shoulder, sniffing aggressively.
“Wow, Mama. Your food smells even yummier than I remember. Is there enough for me?”
“Of course there is, silly. You think I’d cook without making enough for everyone?”
“Nope! You always made sure there was plenty for all of us.” Shippō’s smile melted to a frown as he drifted back to simpler times, a dainty claw wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. Kagome frowned at the thought of battling Naraku being a ‘simpler’ time for the little kit. Dread knotted in her stomach as her mind began to wander through scenarios of what the little boy might have endured over the centuries.
Shippō seemed to noticed her distress, his grip tightening on her shoulder as he planted a kiss against her cheek and promptly changed the topic.
“Anyways, it smells real good. Can we eat now?”
Kagome smiled, putting the negative thoughts out of her head. She made a mental note to tread carefully with her emotions around her new yōkai houseguests. It had been a long time since she’d been in the company of those who could sense what she was actually feeling beneath the carefully curated, happy façade she’d learned to project. She ruffled Shippō’s hair, returning a kiss to his cheek before handing him a stack of dishes.
“We sure can. Here, you take these plates over to the little table in front of the couch, okay?”
Shippō snatched the plates and cutlery and bounded excitedly towards the living room, eager to help. Sesshōmaru was still engrossed in his documentary, unaffected by the scent of human food. Hachi and Jaken helped Kagome carry the serving bowls to the coffee table, where Kagome doled out generous helpings for everyone…save for the daiyōkai, who continued to show no interest in what was happening around him. Once Kagome settled on the floor by his side, Sesshōmaru gave a tentative sniff in her direction without moving his eyes from the television.
“You want to try? I know you don’t eat human food–”
He plucked a shrimp from her plate and chewed thoughtfully for a moment, not even attempting to suppress his cringe as he swallowed.
“There is a lot of seasoning.”
“Yeah, well, blame Jaken. He picked it out.”
The imp grinned happily around a huge mouthful of food.
“Hn. He seems pleased by his choices. I prefer my food less tainted by so many overwhelming flavors.”
Kagome plopped her plate down loudly on the coffee table, prompting the daiyōkai to finally tear his attention from tv and meet her eyes, which were glaring at him with unmasked annoyance.
“Well, you don’t have to be so rude. You're as bad as your brother. Jaken and I put a lot of effort into making this. You don’t need to insult it.” Kagome huffed, crossing her arms and pointedly facing away from the daiyōkai. Jaken made himself busy with his food, worry settling in his brow as he stuffed mouthful after mouthful down his throat.
“There is no need for the dramatics, miko. I did not intend to insult you. This is merely a perfect example of what I mean when I say I do not eat human food. I prefer flavors in their natural states, uncomplicated and unprocessed. This overwhelms my senses. I am sure it is delicious to those of you with inferior taste.”
Kagome glared at his word choice.
“You’re so arrogant, you know that?”
“Well I think it’s delicious, Kagome-sama!” Hachi raised a small bowl of saké to her.
“Thank you– Oh, Hachi, that saké is for cooking, not for drinking. I’m sure that doesn’t taste very good…”
Hachi shrugged as he downed the rest of his bowl, finishing it with a belch.
“Tastes fine to me!” The tanuki laughed heartily, warmth spreading visibly along his face.
“I’ll get you some better saké later. I don’t keep alcohol in the house, usually, but I know you love a good drink.”
“I certainly do! Thank you, Kagome-sama. I would very much appreciate–”
All of the yōkai stiffened, turning to face Kagome’s front door.
“What’s wrong?” To answer her question, a knock rang out into the room. “Oh.”
Sesshōmaru’s nose worked the air.
“I do not recognize the scent but whoever it is has been here before. A male. Their scent lingers on the seating.”
“Oh. Hm. Well, you guys should probably take your food into the spare room, alright? We don’t want another Hōjō incident.”
The knock sounded at the door again and Kagome stood, wiping her hands on her pants as she made her way to greet the unexpected visitor. She peeped through the door viewer and held her breath when she saw who was on the other side. She turned her back to the door and pressed her body flush against it, her hands fidgeting nervously with the hem of her shirt. She grimaced at the sound of his voice.
“Kagome, open up. I can hear you in there. I don’t know why you’re avoiding me. Hōjō said you were fine but I want to see for myself.”
Kagome buried her face in her hands, not quite ready to deal with Jun. She heard him sigh on the other side of the door before slamming a frustrated fist against it so hard that the doorframe shook, prompting a flinch from Kagome and several growls to sound from the spare bedroom.
“Fine. Whatever. Text me when you’re ready to explain yourself. This better be good.”
She breathed a sigh of relief when she heard his footsteps gaining distance from the door. Shippō peeked out from the bedroom, his eyes wide with concern.
“Mama… who was that? He sounded mean.”
“He’s not mean, Ship. He’s just… frustrated. Don’t worry about him, he won’t come back. Come on, let’s finish eating.”
The rest of the meal was a little awkward, everyone quiet and Sesshōmaru frequently glancing at Kagome, his eyes filled with questions that the miko was in no way ready to answer. She hoped he’d keep them to himself.
Hachi finished the rest of Kagome’s cooking saké and her mirin before he promptly passed out on her living room floor, snoring with a look of serenity etched into his features. She wondered at how peaceful he seemed. Out of everyone, Hachi was faring the best by far. Or at least he seemed to be. Maybe it was just the alcohol.
Shippō and Jaken had quickly grown attached to each other, glued at the hip for the remainder of the night. Jaken followed them into the bathroom when Kagome declared it Shippō’s bath time, surprising the miko when he stripped and joined the kitsune in the bath. She smiled as she watched the imp wash Shippō’s fluffy tails, combing through them with his little green claws. He seemed to be taking on a sort of fatherly role to the young kit, a role that Shippō was apparently eager to accept in his life. He clung to Jaken as eagerly as the elder yōkai clung to him.
Kagome was relieved to have the help. Jaken was in a fragile state… but he was managing some form of normalcy as he enthusiastically took on Shippō as his responsibility, helping the kit to dry and dress and tucking him into bed. Kagome set up her old television in the guest room and turned on some shōnen anime for Shippō. Jaken stroked the boy’s tails as they watched tv in bed, Shippō dozing gently against the imp’s shoulder. Kagome watched from the doorway for several minutes before she could tear herself away from the heartwarming scene.
Slowly, she closed the door and turned, a surprised gasp leaving her when she found Sesshōmaru standing right behind her.
“Gods! You scared me.” She hissed quietly, playfully slapping his shoulder. “You have to stop sneaking up on me like that.
“You left me.”
She blinked a few times, eyes widening in realization.
“Oh… Sesshōmaru. I’m so sorry… Hachi–”
“Fell asleep. I feel very tense when I am left alone with my thoughts. I will admit, Hachi’s presence, even while sleeping, helped… but… it is not the same. I… I feel safe with you, Kagome.”
He bent his head, burying his face in her neck and nuzzling. A sharp intake of breath slid through her lips at the contact. She was stunned by the admission.
“I won’t leave you alone again. Sesshōmaru, you’re free to follow me, you know, the way you were before we found everyone else. Just because they’re here now doesn’t mean anything’s changed. You could’ve come into the bathroom with us. I was only giving Ship a bath.”
“Hn. I feel…” he sighed, lifting his head from her shoulder and holding her gaze with those intense, gilded eyes. “I feel ashamed, Kagome. I was a Cardinal Lord, a respected daiyōkai. I have been reduced to… whatever I am now. Having you witness me in such a state has been a challenge in its own right. Having others… especially yōkai…I feel I must be stronger.”
“Sesshōmaru, they’re not faring any better than you are. Hachi is passed out drunk, Jaken hasn’t spoken more than two words, and Shippō is pretty consistently flip-flopping from happy to anxious and depressed and back again. They won’t judge you for struggling. Just relax a little. We’re all here for you, we’re all here for each other. Kay?”
He nodded, averting his gaze. Kagome huffed and rolled her eyes, pulling the stubborn daiyōkai into a hug. He was stiff at first, but quickly melted into her embrace, nuzzling against the side of her head, his entire body rumbling against hers. She laughed.
“There, see, not so hard, right? I need a shower. You’re welcome to join me.” She poked him in the chest to accentuate the point. He followed at her heels as she set off towards the bathroom. She took a second to analyze herself and how easily she was stripping out of her clothes in front of him. The bizarre nature of their circumstances had forced Kagome into a comfort level that she never imagined she’d be able to achieve.
Sesshōmaru had undressed faster than her and was standing awkwardly by the shower, Mokomoko keeping him modest. After Kagome turned on the shower, they both stepped inside. She groaned at him when she noticed he’d brought the damned fluffy pelt into the water.
“That thing takes forever to dry! How often do you wash it?”
“Washing it is not my concern. It… I do not wish to be apart from it.”
Kagome could’ve smacked herself in the head.
“Oh. Okay. Well, I’m going to teach you how to use the blowdryer… I wonder if we could stick it in the dryer? Would that hurt it?”
“Miko.”
“Oh, right, futuristic miko musings. My bad. I have a machine that dries things. We can try to put it inside of it.”
“How does it accomplish such a feat?”
“Heat and tumbling.”
“Tumbling?”
“The machine spins it–”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because that sounds wholly unpleasant.”
“Unpleasant?”
“Miko. How many times must I remind you? It is my tail. If you could detach a limb would you desire to place it in this tumbling machine of yours?”
“Erh… no, I suppose not.”
“The contraption you used last time will suffice. I will use it myself.”
“As long as I don’t have to do it we’re good. I hate blow drying.”
Kagome had been washing her hair as they talked, her back facing him. When she piled it on top of her head and began to scrub her body with a loofah, struggling to reach her back, Sesshōmaru snatched the loofah and started doing it for her. Her eyes widened, body rigid. No one other than her parents had ever washed her before… and it had been at least two decades since then. It was an odd sensation.
“Miko… is this acceptable? I only wished to assist. You seemed to be struggling to reach–”
“It’s fine.” Her tone was strained and clipped, her voice pitched higher than usual. She laughed nervously. “Sorry, I’m just… not really used to being touched so much.”
“Hn. That is relatable. I have taken liberties with you that I have never taken with another. I apologize.”
“There’s nothing to apologize for. It’s just… different. I feel oddly comfortable with you, though.”
“I am abnormally comfortable in your presence, as well. This is merely pack bathing. I thought nothing of assisting you. My beast has claimed you as pack. Never has it declared another as a packmate so quickly. I suppose you have earned it.”
“You talk about your beast like it’s separate from you.”
“That is because it is. You have witnessed Inuyasha lose control to his beast. The creature you encountered during those times… it was not Inuyasha. You are aware of that, correct?”
“I… had never really thought about it. It makes sense, though. He said and did things that he never would’ve when he was himself…”
“Hn. The beast is the animal part of yōkai. Hanyō are more…. primitive. A hanyō’s beast is suppressed, locked away. It only breaks free when their lives are endangered. My beast is present with me at all times, subdued and controlled by me. I am his master. I summon him when necessary.”
“Interesting. So… it has its own personality?”
“It does.”
“So… there’s basically two of you?”
“Not quite. Do you know anything of inuyōkai creation legends?”
“No, I don’t.”
They’d been so engrossed in conversation that Kagome hadn’t really noticed when Sesshōmaru moved on from scrubbing her back to washing her arms. As he began to run the loofah along her sides, slowly traveling from hip to ribs, her awareness shifted from the conversation to the movements of his hands. She was vaguely aware that he was still speaking, but her attention was elsewhere.
“It is said that countless millennia ago, man and dog became partners, companions. When the purest, most noble of humans performed an act of extreme kindness for a mortal dog, when the mortal dog’s time to leave the mortal plane arrived, the dog would offer their spirit to the human. If accepted, the human and the dog would undergo a transformation, ascending to a higher plane of existence together, becoming something that lay between human and kami. Thus, the early inuyōkai were born.”
Kagome’s interest was shifting back and forth between his words and his actions, his story fascinating but the gentle, circular motions of the loofah traveling along her stomach and hips was making her breath hitch. He was respectful in his ministrations, avoiding any parts that would make Kagome feel the need to stop him.
It seemed like he was performing a completely innocent task with no ulterior motive. She was certain no human male would be able to claim the same when naked and touching her body the way that Sesshōmaru had been for several minutes.
When she glanced over her shoulder at him, he seemed lost in thought, not even focusing on what his hands were doing to her, entirely unaware that he was slowly taking her apart at the seams as he continued his story.
“The most powerful daiyōkai of my time descended from these yōkai, their bloodlines shared only between the exalted, first inuyōkai, our bodies born with the spirits of both human and beast. It is why your kind are capable of reproducing with mine. In a sense, there is human within me as much as there is inu.”
That last sentence had her interest piqued.
“So why do you hate humans so much?”
He tilted his head, brow furrowing.
“I do not hate humans, Kagome.”
“You… you told Inuyasha that his blood was dirty.”
His eyes widened fractionally.
“I… am surprised that you recall that.”
“Y-you’re surprised? You tried to kill me that day! I remember it very clearly.”
She shifted away from his touch, thoroughly shocked that he’d have the audacity to even say something like that. She’d been doing very well with forcing herself to distance her opinions of who Sesshōmaru had been and the things he had done and treating the Sesshōmaru she’d found in the bunker as a different being… but that was just too much to ignore.
“Kagome… it… I… I cannot begin to apologize in a way that could possibly earn your forgiveness for my behavior in the past. I have frequently wanted to address it with you but I could not find the words. I’m glad this has come up organically. I was ignorant, my ideals and opinions ingrained in me through a culture that–”
“A culture that ignores the history of your own kind? You just said that you’re as much human as you are inu!”
“But inuyōkai tend to view themselves as higher beings, the ones worthy of being blessed by the kami. There are obvious differences between our species, Kagome, and not every inuyōkai even believes in the creation stories. In fact, many reject the idea entirely. My mother is… was… one of those who rejected it, treating it as a fairytale concocted by humans. She… had a biased opinion, a loathing for humans that went beyond the norm.”
“Why?”
He scoffed.
“Is that not obvious? Her mate betrayed her for one. I cannot say I do not understand, that I cannot sympathize with her… I do not know how one could betray the being in which they chose to tie their lifeforce to.”
“Y-your father cheated on your mother?”
“How is it that you think Inuyasha came to be, miko? It is why I loathed him so. After Naraku, we managed to put our differences aside. We were growing closer as time progressed, but never did quite manage to form a brotherly bond before… before.”
Kagome averted her eyes.
“Let’s not talk about the past.”
She turned and grabbed the loofah that she’d purchased for Sesshōmaru from the mall, loading it up with his new organic, unscented body wash. He blinked at her a few times as she began to scrub his torso. He seemed to gather his bearings and busied himself by gently unpiling her hair from atop her head, running his fingers through it as he rinsed the conditioner from the strands while Kagome continued to wash him. Something in the air shifted, a heaviness settling between them. Their eyes were locked as they worked on their tasks, a sort of electricity buzzing between them.
For the first time since Inuyasha, Kagome felt the urge to kiss someone. She quickly swatted the idea away, well aware that Sesshōmaru wouldn’t want a human like that. The tension broke as the thought hit her, her eyes averting as she took in the flawless physique of the being standing naked before her. She frowned.
Get it together, Kags. He would never want you.
When Kagome met his eyes again, Sesshōmaru seemed to be searching for something in hers, his brow furrowed, intense gaze bearing into her. She closed her eyes to hide from the probing, relaxing into his touch as he finished rinsing her hair.
He was still observing her when she finally opened her eyes again. Kagome suppressed a sigh.
“Turn around, I’ll get your back.”
He did as she asked and she made quick work of the task, handing him the loofah to finish the parts she was unwilling to wash. As he did that, Kagome began to wash his hair. He groaned unabashedly, leaning into her touch. When she struggled to reach his scalp, he knelt with his back facing her to give her better access.
“Thanks.”
“No, thank you, miko. No one has ever done this for me.”
“Really? Not even when you were little?”
“No. Pack bathing is a privilege amongst inuyōkai, one only afforded to my parents. My nursemaids were not permitted to bathe with me and my parents were not… they did not participate in pack bathing. I was left to my own devices.”
“Was your hair always so long?”
“As inuyōkai nobility I was expected to keep my hair long. It has been so for as long as my memory stretches. It seemed longer to me as a pup, reaching my ankles. It was only my short stature that made it seem so.”
Kagome’s heart clenched painfully, imagining a tiny Sesshōmaru struggling to wash the massive length of hair all by himself. She put extra effort into conditioning it.
When they got out, she taught him how the blowdryer worked and he dried his hair and tail while Kagome did her full bedtime routine for the first time since bringing him home. It mostly entailed haircare and dental hygiene, her skincare routine something she kept to a minimum. Truth be told, Kagome hated looking too closely at her skin. She may very well have been the only woman alive perturbed by her lack of wrinklings, crinkles, and imperfections. Her face had simply not changed since her fifteenth birthday. She wondered how long it would remain perfectly smooth, if she would ever wilt with age. The thoughts depressed her, the idea of her family and friends outaging her, her own little brother starting to look more like her older one.
So Kagome never spent too much time on her face, unless it was to pile makeup on to get rid of the babyface she was cursed to bear for Gods only knows how long. She did enjoy lotioning her body, though, and that is precisely what she was doing when Sesshōmaru finished blow drying his hair.
He sniffed in her direction, eyes closed.
“That scent compliments your natural one.”
“Does it?”
“Hn. You smell of strawberries and summer grass naturally. The scent of… what is that?”
“It’s lotion. It keeps my skin moisturized.”
“Hn. The scent of your ‘lotion’ is… kuchinashi and… citrus… a sweet orange.”
“Your nose is amazing. I wish I could pick up on smells like that.”
“I assure you, you do not. Not in this era. It is entirely overwhelming. You, however, are a walking breath of fresh air. And you have impeccable taste in complementary scents to your own natural one.”
“Oh… th-thanks.” Kagome flushed as he settled next to her and ran his nose along her freshly lotioned shoulder.
“Did you get Mokomoko dried?”
“Mn… no. You were not wrong. It is a frustratingly long process. I might refrain from bathing with it so often. I do not like to sleep without it. Tonight it seems I must.”
“Absolutely not.”
Sesshōmaru cocked his head at her when she stood and retrieved Mokomoko from where it hung from a hook on the back of her bedroom door. He watched as she reverently combed and blowdried, taking great care to be gentle with it as she detangled and dried his pelt to fluffy perfection. After a solid forty-five minutes, Kagome stood and draped it around him.
“There. Good as new.”
“Thank you, miko. You did not have to go through the trouble.”
“It was no trouble at all, really.” She waved him off as she stretched and climbed into bed. “I’m beat though. Are you ready for sleep?”
“I do not require so much sleep. I think I will stay up and read, if that is okay?”
“Of course it’s okay. I can find my book light–”
“There is no need. I can see perfectly fine in the dark. Besides, I think I will read some of the historical articles you put on my phone. Thank you, though. Rest.”
Sesshōmaru settled next to her with his phone and Kagome instantly curled up against Mokomoko. She was growing as fond of the damned thing as he was. It was almost as soft as his hair and sleeping with it was like sleeping on a cloud. She dozed off within minutes of closing her eyes.
Sesshōmaru found he couldn’t quite focus on reading, his attention veering to the miko with every shift of her body, every change in her breathing, and every fluctuation of her heart rate. Every time she drew his regard, she ended up holding it for several minutes as he watched the rise and fall of her chest and the movement of her eyes beneath her lids. Several times he brushed stray hairs from her face or found another excuse to touch her in some way, covering her with the quilt or picking lint from her hair.
Before he knew it, the sun had risen and he’d barely made it a paragraph into the article he had set out to read. When cerulean eyes blinked open and found gold already observing her, Kagome flushed. Sesshōmaru quite liked the blush along her alabaster skin and the accompanying heated spike of her scent. He almost wished he’d fallen asleep just so he could have woken to such a lovely sight.
Though, he thought, perhaps watching her sleep was equally as rewarding.
Chapter 11: Dog Days, Part II
Notes:
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-HEED THE TAGS-
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*Please note, because this story is so trauma-laden, unlike my less dark stories, NO warnings will be given in the chapter summary when a chapter will contain potentially triggering content*
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Short(er) fluffy chapter that was supposed to be a part of the ~next~ chapter but it ended up too long... so we'll call it part of the ~last~ chapter because... yet again... nothing happens. :p
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Story Info - May Contain Spoilers*
Universe:
- Pre-Episode 193 Canon Compliant
Major Divergences:
- Kagome remains in the modern era instead of returning to the Warring States period after three years.
- Canon era setting altered (Kagome’s “future” time) to take place during 2011-2012 instead of 1996-2000.
- Kagome was born in 1996 instead of 1981.
Setting:
- 21st Century, Japan; Ten years post-episode 192
Tone/Genre:
- Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance, Thriller & Suspense, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Porn, Smut
Tropes:
- Sesshoumaru's Beast, Knotting, Mating Marks, Blood Adoption Ceremony, Kagome is Shippō’s Parent, Sesshoumaru is Rin’s Parent, Alpha Sesshoumaru, Powerful Higurashi Kagome, Aging Up, Hurt Sesshoumaru
Trigger Warnings:
- Rape and Sexual Assault, Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual), Child Abuse, Self-injurious behavior, Excessive or gratuitous violence, Needles, Kidnapping (forceful deprivation of/disregard for personal autonomy), Death or dying, Pregnancy/Childbirth, Miscarriages/Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Racism (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Prejudice, Slavery (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Genocide, Concentration camps (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Suicide, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Alcohol/Drug Withdrawal, Trauma, Suicide Ideation, Scars, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Alcoholism, Nightmares about Traumatic Events, Life-Changing injury, Detailed Medical Talk, Infant Death, Graphic Deaths, Mass Death, Murder, Extreme Violence, Gore, Torture, Mutilation, Cutting of Limbs, Threatening baby/child, Violence against Children, Physical Abuse, Described Blood, Graphic Violence, Drugging Someone Against Their Will, Female Oppression, Forced Breeding, Forced Pregnancy
Fandom Warnings:
- Several Major Character Deaths
- Several Major Character Undeaths
- Several Characters OOC
Published December 23, 2022 ༻❁༺ Chapter Word Count: 3,671
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Chapter Eleven
Kagome woke to Sesshōmaru staring at her. She flushed, her mind going wild with reasons that might have drawn the daiyōkai’s critical eye. She wondered if she'd been snoring… or if her breath smelled bad… or if some other terribly embarrassing human thing had occurred. The possibilities were endless. She wiped at her mouth to check for drool before resigning to smiling at him, finally assured that there was nothing physically humiliating actively occurring. Whatever else may have happened, she decided that she was glad she hadn’t been awake to know about it.
"Good morning."
"Good morning, miko. Did you sleep well?"
"I did, actually. Like a log." Kagome sat up, groaning as she stretched. "How'd your reading go?"
She raised a brow when Sesshōmaru averted his gaze, a soft blush spreading along his cheeks.
"It was fine. I did not get through as much as I had initially hoped. My focus was lacking."
"Ah, well, can't say I blame you. History isn't exactly the most riveting of topics."
"Hn. Normally I would agree… but your history is my future."
Kagome felt her face heat.
"Sorry…"
"No need. I have plenty of time to familiarize myself with the events that I have missed. In any case, I have found that human record has never been entirely truthful in the past.”
“You’re not wrong. To completely omit yōkai from history… my mind was blown when I fell through the well.”
“I would imagine so. Inuyasha did provide a rather short version of events, and I overheard your explanation to the human male, ‘Hōjō’... I would, however, like to hear more details from you. How was it that you traveled between worlds, miko?”
“Oh… hm. Well, I guess it started when I was born. I’m sure Inuyasha mentioned that I’m the reincarnation of Kikyō?”
“He did.”
“Right, well, she was cremated with the Shikon no Tama, and I was born with it inside of me. On my fifteenth birthday, I was standing near our family well and I guess the power from the jewel awoke the dormant bones of Mistress Centipede. She pulled me into the well, I accidentally blasted her with reiki, and was alone when I ended up at the bottom of the well. I didn’t realize I’d gone through a time portal… so when I climbed out and my family shrine was nowhere to be found I was super confused. That’s when I found Inuyasha. I freed him from Kikyō’s sealing arrow when Mistress Centipede showed up and attacked me, ripping the jewel from my side.”
She lifted her shirt to show him the scar just below her ribs. The back of Sesshōmaru’s knuckle gently traced along the gnarled, ridged flesh.
“You have several scars on your body.”
Kagome flushed.
“Yeah, came with the territory, fighting yōkai as an untrained fifteen year old and all.”
“You were untrained?”
“Well… yeah. I didn’t even know I was a miko until I fell through the well. Here, in my time, I was just a kid. Humans didn’t grow up as quickly as they did back in the Warring States period. Girls my age were married and starting families back in your time… but in mine we were studying and living carefree lives. There were no battles or anything like that. Just… school and friends.”
“Fascinating. So you had no training with weapons or reiki usage and still you bravely fought. Why did you not just stay on your side of the well?”
“I… Sesshōmaru, I brought the Shikon no Tama back to your time and broke it. I empowered hundreds of yōkai and gave Naraku the ability to do… whatever the hell it was he was trying to do. It was my responsibility to put it back together… and at first, before Kikyō was resurrected… I was the only one who could sense the shards.”
“Hn. So, this does not answer the question– what permitted you to travel back in time?”
“The jewel, I guess. Since after I wished it away I couldn’t use the well anymore.”
“What exactly happened when you wished it away? You said that you absorbed its power into your body. Would that not permit you to still use the well if its power was the source of your ability to travel between worlds?”
“I’m honestly not sure, but I don’t think it was the jewel’s power, per se, but the physical thing itself. What I absorbed was… well… I don’t even really know what I absorbed. But it wasn’t the jewel. The jewel is gone. But that energy had to go somewhere. It’s a basic law of physics. Since it was born in me, I guess I was the natural place for it to return. But the jewel itself, the actual spirits within it, they’re all gone. They moved on to the afterlife. I think… somehow, Midoriko passed her own power on to me. Like I said on Saturday, sometimes I can feel Naohi…somehow. You’re really asking all the complicated questions here that I don’t really have answers for.”
“Forgive me. I am merely curious. Your powers are incredibly interesting, miko. Your understanding and grasp of them is unlike anything I’ve ever seen from a holy person. Not even Midoriko was so adept.”
“Really? Wait… did you know Midoriko?”
“Hn. In a sense. I watched her battle several times. Much like you, she did not engage with yōkai that did not pose some sort of threat to humans. She never tried to fight me personally.”
“I see.”
Kagome pulled her knees to her chest, resting her chin on them.
“Miko, we were discussing scars earlier and now that I am seeing them again, I would like to ask where exactly you received the strange scarring around your feet. It looks as if you stood in–”
“Please, no.”
Kagome clenched her eyes, remembering holding Inuyasha as she stood ankle deep in yōkai stomach acid. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself.
“Hn. Forgive me. I did not mean–”
“No. Don’t apologize. I know enough of your trauma. You can know some of mine. Naraku led our group into a trap and the tainted Shikon overwhelmed Inuyasha. He was our only hope of getting out of the situation we were in… which happened to be the inside of very large oni. I stood in its stomach acid to keep Inuyasha purified enough to maintain control and break us out.”
Sesshōmaru stared at her, wide-eyed.
“You… stood in acid for him? For how long?”
“As long as it took. I don’t know. Time moved… very slowly for me. It was a lot of pain. Several layers of skin were eaten off and I still have muscle and nerve damage in my toes. I can’t feel a few of them.”
“Your loyalty and bravery is astounding, miko.”
“I mean… we all would’ve died if I hadn’t done it. I didn’t really have a choice.”
“From what Inuyasha tells me, that is not the only time you confronted his beast. From his stories… I had assumed you were perhaps unaware of the danger you put yourself in. Hearing you speak, though, knowing you as I do now… I know that you were aware of what you were doing. You merely risked yourself for the benefit of others. Your heart remains the purest I have ever encountered.”
Kagome flushed.
“I… I appreciate that. So… did Inuyasha talk about me a lot?”
Sesshōmaru took a deep breath.
“Yes… and no. He spoke of you in bursts. We only had a few conversations about you but each one was very, very long. It began around the time that you disappeared. He would only say that you were trapped in your home. I think that he did not want me to know that the well had been a portal to your time, afraid that I might destroy it. He waited near it for several years, though, so naturally, I was aware that it had something to do with you. When the hōshi and tajiya married and moved to the old slayer village with Kohaku, Inuyasha grew deeply troubled. The kit remained at his side for a time, but once he began his education at the kitsune academy, Inuyasha was left mostly to himself. He took to drinking for a while. When I visited Rin and did not sense his presence, I asked her if she knew where he was. She became agitated and confessed that he’d gone to a cave and barricaded himself inside. To this day, I am certain he intended to die there. I broke through the stone barricade and found him passed out drunk. That was when we first began mending our relationship. We sat in that cave for several days as he told me everything he could recall about you… and Kikyō. I informed him that Kikyō had been his chosen mate and the confusion he felt after her resurrection had to do with the presence of her soul within two beings. With both souls no longer present, his beast was eventually able to allow him to grieve and recover, as I told him it would.”
Kagome wanted to ask if he moved on to someone else… but decided she didn’t want to know. She kept her questions to herself as she took in the slew of information that Sesshōmaru had dumped into her lap. She wasn’t sure if she felt better or worse knowing that Inuyasha had been in as much pain as she had been. She definitely felt worse knowing that it wasn’t really her that he had been attached to, but Kikyō’s reincarnated soul within her. His mate. She felt her chin wobble.
“Miko?”
“I’m fine.”
“You are not.”
She sighed.
“Sesshōmaru, I think… I think that I might not want to talk about Inuyasha ever again, if that’s okay.”
He nodded once before pulling her close to his chest and resting his chin on top of her head. The thrumming in his throat was different than the content rumbling she’d grown used to… it felt like it was for her . It was comforting, vibrating against her in a soothing rhythm. She closed her eyes and leaned into his hug.
“It will be okay. I am sorry for dredging up painful memories.”
“Don’t apologize. Just… hold me for a minute. This feels nice.”
His nose nuzzled against her crown, his breath warm against her hair as the soothing hum picked up again. She wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that when Sesshōmaru gently nudged her with his nose.
“The kit is awake. I believe he is searching for you.”
“Oh. Gods. I… It’s been so long since I’ve been responsible for anyone other than myself. I’m not used to being a mom anymore. I have to get up and feed him.”
She bounded out of bed, tying her hair up in a messy bun before slipping into a bathrobe. She opened her bedroom door just in time to find Shippō standing outside of it.
“Well, hello you. Did you have a nice sleep?”
The kit’s face lit up as he climbed his way up Kagome’s body and nuzzled into her neck. Kagome laughed. She couldn’t get over his agility. When she’d first seen how big he’d gotten, she had assumed he wouldn’t be able to climb and perch on her anymore. He was admittedly heavier -and without a doubt going to cause some neck and back pain- but he had no difficulty reclaiming his place on her shoulder.
“Uh-huh! I’m hungry.”
“Of course you are. Come on, we’ll turn on some cartoons while I put something together for you.”
She looked over her shoulder at Sesshōmaru. “You coming?”
He nodded as he stood and followed Kagome into the spare room, where Hachi and Jaken were enraptured by the tv.
“Wha–oh, no, no, no. If you’re going to watch stuff like this you do it either in my bedroom or the living room, away from Shippō. Got it? Out, out, out!”
Kagome growled at the two older yōkai as they scrambled from the room, the tv paused on a scene that displayed several large, scantily clad anime boobs.
“These are not the kinds of cartoons I meant.” She grumbled under her breath as she set parental controls on the streaming device attached to the tv. “Ship, did you like what I had on for you last night?”
“Y-yeah. What’s wrong with what Hachi and Jaken were watching?”
“It’s for grown-ups.”
“It didn’t look any different from what we had on last night, though.”
“Trust me, it is.”
She set Shippō down on the bed and rubbed her hands over her face.
“What do you want for breakfast?”
“Those folded egg thingies you used to make! Can I have those? And the octopuses?”
Kagome laughed.
“The egg thingies–they’re called tamagoyaki, by the way- I can do. The octopus you’ll have to wait for. I’ll get the ingredients when I go shopping and I’ll make them with dinner. I need to get some groceries and buy you and the others some clothes and… stuff.” She sighed. “Lots and lots of stuff .”
She had a lot of shopping to do. Her household went from one and a dog to five and a dog. Her grocery bill alone was going to be astronomical, especially with the way that yōkai could pack away food. Plus they all needed full wardrobes and toiletries… and bedding. And somewhere to put the bedding. Which reminded her…
She pulled out her phone and pulled up the number for a local real estate agent. She sent them a quick email outlining her needs and asked them to get back to her as soon as possible. Kagome was certain it wouldn’t be soon at all… what with the main requirement being several hectares of land.
Whatever building stood on said land was irrelevant. No matter how big it was, it would in no way house the amount of yōkai that were being kept in that bunker. She had been thinking hard about what exactly she was going to do, how she was going to give all of the yōkai their freedom… at least the ones that were friendly enough to be free.
She’d settled on purchasing as much land as possible, enclosing it in several barriers, much like the bunker was, but with the purpose of keeping humans out rather than yōkai in . She would create a sort of yōkai reservation, allowing the more primitive minded of them to roam freely while supplying housing for the more intelligent ones like Hachi and Sesshōmaru. She felt that, on behalf of those with spiritual powers, on behalf of humanity , it was her responsibility to pay for the reparations owed to them. Afterall, she certainly had the means to.
Kagome stuffed her phone into the pocket of her robe as she made her way into the kitchen and gathered ingredients and tools.
“Is there anything I can do to assist, miko? You seem tense.”
“Oh. Sorry. I just have… a lot to do. Hm… you could beat the eggs for me.”
“‘ Beat ’ them?”
Kagome snorted.
“Yeah, not like… in battle, but you know, stir them. Like this.”
She cracked a few into the bowl and began to whisk them with a pair of chopsticks.
“Ah, I see.”
Jaken was suddenly climbing onto the kitchen island, looking at her expectantly. Kagome bit back her surprise when the little imp finally spoke.
“Is… is there anything that I can do to help, Kagome-sama?”
“You like cooking, huh? Hm… let’s see… why don’t you chop the veggies? You did really well with that last night. Your cuts are super clean and uniform.”
“Thank you, Kagome-sama. I would be most honored to prepare the vegetables.”
“Great. Phew, that makes this a lot easier. There’s so many of us it’s going to take an entire carton of eggs and all of my vegetables to feed everyone. Preparing it all would take an hour by myself. So thank you guys, I really appreciate it.” Jaken grinned beneath her praise, beaming at her. Sesshōmaru merely grunted in response as he continued to crack the eggs into the bowl. “Alright. Let’s get to work.”
Kagome clapped her hands together before setting the vegetables on a cutting board in front of Jaken. She put on some rice and started preparing some miso soup.
Breakfast was served in under twenty minutes. Kagome couldn’t rip Shippō away from the tv, so they all ate in bed together in what had become, in Kagome’s mind, the kit’s bedroom. She basked in her son’s happy aura, nuzzling against his head as she sat behind him, sharing their food from one bowl and plate.
“Ship, eat some soup. You can’t fill up on just onigiri. How many times do I have to tell you? There’s no nutrition in that.”
“But Mama, it’s so yummy!”
“Mhm… flattery will get you nowhere.” She gathered a hearty spoonful of the miso soup, collecting as many vegetables as possible and pushing it towards the kit’s mouth. He groaned, opening and accepting her offering with an annoyed glare.
“I can feed myself.” Shippō harrumphed as he snatched the spoon from Kagome and began to fish only the tofu out of the soup. Kagome sighed in exasperation.
“Kit. Respect your mother.” A low rumble vibrated from Sesshōmaru and Shippō froze, glancing over his shoulder.
“H-hai, Sesshōmaru-sama. Sorry, Mama.”
Kagome smiled, leaning to kiss Shippō’s temple.
“Don’t apologize. Just eat your veggies. I want you to be healthy and strong, okay?”
“Oooo-kayyy.” Shippō huffed as he lifted the bowl to his mouth and downed the entire thing. Kagome chuckled before glancing back at the daiyōkai, mouthing her thanks. He offered a curt nod in response.
“Alright, well, I’m done eating. You guys can clean up the kitchen, Sesshōmaru and I are going out to get some groceries and clothes.”
“Mama! I wanna come!”
“Are you sure you’re ready to be out in the crowds with all those smells, Ship? Don’t you want to relax at home for today?”
“No! I wanna go with you !”
Kagome’s insides twisted. She didn’t want to tell him no… but also knew the mall and the grocery store would be a lot for him… and a lot for her, keeping watch over two yōkai in large crowds of people.
“Alright, alright. Fine. Let’s compromise. I have to go pick up my dog. My family has been watching him… and I want to introduce them to you, so you can come there with me. But how about you stay there while I go shopping and you can get to know your obāsan, oji-san, and hī ojīsan. How’s that sound?”
“Alright! I’ve always wanted to meet them! Is… is Sōta a grownup now?”
“Well, he’s nineteen. So, a few years older than I was when we met.”
“Oh.” Shippō frowned.
“You wanted some other kids to play with, huh?”
“Yeah.” The kit fumbled with the hem of the oversized shirt that he was wearing.
“Sōta’s not all that old, Ship. Remember when I let you play with my Gameboy?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Well, we have even better versions of that now… and Sōta has all of them. I bet he’ll play with you if you ask nicely.”
Shippō’s face lit up.
“Yes! Let’s go!”
Kagome laughed.
“Good. Okay. Let me get dressed. Oh… and, unfortunately, you’ll need to transform.” Kagome frowned at that. She didn’t like him hiding who he was. “Try to look like a human boy… but… as close to yourself as possible, okay? I want you to still be my Shippō.”
“No problem!” Shippō popped out of a cloud of smoke looking like a ten year old boy…A strikingly beautiful one, at that, his features distinctly Japanese, eyes green and hair red.
“Wow, Shippō. You make a pretty cute human.” She bopped him on the nose with her pointer finger before taking his hand. “Come on, let’s find some clothes that’ll keep you decent–”
“No need, Mama. I can make it look like I’m wearing whatever clothes I want!”
With another puff of smoke, Shippō re-appeared, dressed exactly like the protagonist from the anime she’d turned on for him. Kagome couldn’t hold in the laugh.
“Perfect. I was thinking I’d have to buy a wardrobe for each form. This works out, though. We’ll just get you clothes for your true form.”
Kagome gave Shippō a pat on the head before retreating to her room, Sesshōmaru in tow. She rummaged through her closet for something to wear, emerging in a floral print cami dress that she briefly considered changing when Sesshōmaru’s eyes fell directly on her breasts. He stared for several seconds, unblinking, until she cleared her throat.
“Are you ready to go?”
He finally blinked at her words, his eyes still trained on her admittedly ample cleavage before he slowly forced his gaze to hers.
“Is this acceptable? I have not quite acclimated to this century’s fashion.”
When Kagome tore her eyes from his face, her annoyed glare instantly fell. She hadn’t even realized that he’d also gotten dressed, sporting a quarter sleeved, cream-colored linen shirt with a mandarin collar and pankou buttons that he’d left unfastened. He had paired it with a plain white T-shirt and black linen pants. Kagome’s mouth went dry.
“Y-yeah. You look really nice. It suits you.”
“Hn. Then I suppose I am ready. Will we be going to the same place that we went to obtain my clothing?”
“The same building, a different store. They don’t sell kids clothes where we bought yours.”
“I see. Could we perhaps…” When a blush crept along his cheeks and he hesitated, Kagome knew exactly what he was going to ask.
“You want more fruit sandos, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
Kagome rolled her eyes.
“Fine.”
“And tea?”
“And tea.”
They bid their goodbyes to Hachi and Jaken, who were too engrossed in the booby-laden anime they'd found to respond with anything more than grunts and mumbles. Kagome rolled her eyes as she donned her shoes and gathered her purse. The trio stepped out into the early morning heat of the summer, Sesshōmaru's hand sliding into Kagome's as soon as the front door was closed and locked. Shippō followed his example and took her other hand, swinging her arm gleefully as he skipped at her side. Kagome couldn’t suppress her smile as they made their way to her car. Despite the chaos that had upturned her life with the discovery of that bunker, she couldn't help but feel that a little chaos had been exactly what she'd been missing since the well had closed.
Notes:
I am *super* sleepy but I wanted to post this before going to bed. I'm probably gonna end up needing to do some edits tomorrow. I read it over a few times but my brain is ready to pop. Dx
Forgive any typos, repetitive phrasing, and/or stale sentences. Me sleep now. Hope you enjoyed. uwu<3╔═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗
💬Discord: supsteff#0582
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Chapter 12: Doggy Bag
Notes:
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-HEED THE TAGS-
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*Please note, because this story is so trauma-laden, unlike my less dark stories, NO warnings will be given in the chapter summary when a chapter will contain potentially triggering content*
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Another quick fluffy update because the coming chapter is so very, very long and packed with detail. Chapters 10-12 have all been trimmed from what would have been this single chapter and each one kind of took on a life of its own, so here we are with more domestic fluff. Nomnom.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Story Info - May Contain Spoilers*
Universe:
- Pre-Episode 193 Canon Compliant
Major Divergences:
- Kagome remains in the modern era instead of returning to the Warring States period after three years.
- Canon era setting altered (Kagome’s “future” time) to take place during 2011-2012 instead of 1996-2000.
- Kagome was born in 1996 instead of 1981.
Setting:
- 21st Century, Japan; Ten years post-episode 192
Tone/Genre:
- Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance, Thriller & Suspense, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Porn, Smut
Tropes:
- Sesshoumaru's Beast, Knotting, Mating Marks, Blood Adoption Ceremony, Kagome is Shippō’s Parent, Sesshoumaru is Rin’s Parent, Alpha Sesshoumaru, Powerful Higurashi Kagome, Aging Up, Hurt Sesshoumaru
Trigger Warnings:
- Rape and Sexual Assault, Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual), Child Abuse, Self-injurious behavior, Excessive or gratuitous violence, Needles, Kidnapping (forceful deprivation of/disregard for personal autonomy), Death or dying, Pregnancy/Childbirth, Miscarriages/Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Racism (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Prejudice, Slavery (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Genocide, Concentration camps (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Suicide, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Alcohol/Drug Withdrawal, Trauma, Suicide Ideation, Scars, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Alcoholism, Nightmares about Traumatic Events, Life-Changing injury, Detailed Medical Talk, Infant Death, Graphic Deaths, Mass Death, Murder, Extreme Violence, Gore, Torture, Mutilation, Cutting of Limbs, Threatening baby/child, Violence against Children, Physical Abuse, Described Blood, Graphic Violence, Drugging Someone Against Their Will, Female Oppression, Forced Breeding, Forced Pregnancy
Fandom Warnings:
- Several Major Character Deaths
- Several Major Character Undeaths
- Several Characters OOC
Published December 24, 2022 ༻❁༺ Chapter Word Count: 1,678
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doggy bag
idiom
A small bag provided on request by a restaurant for a customer to carry home leftovers of a meal, ostensibly to feed a dog or other pet:
Chapter Twelve
By the time they had arrived at the shrine, Shippō had grown quiet, his aura palpably nervous. Kagome reached into the backseat and squeezed his bouncing knee before pulling one of his foreignly clawless little hands into hers. She offered a warm smile.
“They’re gonna love you as much as I do, ya know.”
“P-promise?”
“I promise. They’ll love you because you’re mine .”
Shippō’s knee stilled as he squeezed her hand and grinned.
“Okay. Let’s go, I’m ready!” that familiar feigned bravery settled into his brow and kagome couldn't suppress her smile.
He was out of the car faster than her eyes could follow.
“Ship, you need to be careful about using yōkai speed and strength in front of humans, okay? It’s alright in front of family, but don’t let strangers see you do that.”
“Oh, right. Sorry, Mama.”
“Never apologize for being who you are. I’m sorry that you have to hide.”
He offered a weak smile as he slid his hand into hers. Sesshōmaru’s once again slid into the other and the three began their climb up the shrine steps.
“Mama! That’s the Goshinboku!”
“Yes, it is. Want to see the well?”
“Yes! Wow…wait… wow!” Shippō turned and ran to the top of the shrine steps, looking out at the Tokyo skyline. “Mama… this is Edo!”
“It was Edo, a long, long time ago. It’s called Tokyo now.”
“Man. Inuyasha wasn’t kidding. This is… so much different. The castles are huge!”
Kagome laughed.
“They’re not castles, Ship. They’re called skyscrapers. They’re mostly workplaces. Humans go there to make money and at night, they’re empty except for guards.”
“Wow. What kind of work are they doing in there? Are they merchants?”
“No, no merchants or farmers. It’s… complicated. We’ll watch a documentary on it, okay?”
“That sounds boring. Can I see the well now?”
“Of course you ca–”
When Kagome heard Sesshōmaru growl before hovering protectively in front Shippō, she turned, surprised to see her grandfather standing nearby, wringing his hands and avoiding eye contact.
“Kagome, my dear. I… I wanted to apologize to your friend.”
She felt Sesshōmaru’s body unstiffen and relax against her side.
“I’m sure he would appreciate that, Gramps. I know I would.”
The old man slowly walked over until he was face to face with Sesshōmaru. He extended a wrinkled, shaking hand.
“I beg your forgiveness, Sesshōmaru-sama. I was terribly rude. Both my daughter-in-law and granddaughter have more sense and propriety than the men in this family, it would seem. But you have my sincerest apologies for my behavior. Any friend of Kagome’s is a friend of our family.”
Sesshōmaru nodded, curtly accepting his hand and quickly releasing it. Kagome could tell that he didn’t want to speak, that he had no words for the situation. To alleviate the tension, she made an effort to move the conversation along.
“Speaking of which, Gramps, I want you to meet my son.”
“S-son?”
“Do you remember back when I used to go through the well? How I told you and Mama and Sōta that I’d met a very special little boy?”
“The kitsune! Ah, Shippō, wasn’t it? Hello there, m’boy. Come, let your hī ojīsan get a good look at you. Hm… no tail… are you playing a trick on this old man?”
Shippō laughed.
“Mama said I have to look like a human when we leave the house. I can show you my tails later!”
The kit put his hands on his hips, puffing up with pride beneath the plurality of the word.
“That sounds most agreeable! Are you hungry? Niya was just putting on some lunch for us. I’m sure she’s made plenty for everyone.”
“Thanks Gramps, Shippō will probably want to eat, but Sesshōmaru and I were going to go do some shopping. We were hoping you guys might want to hang out with Ship and get to know him a little.”
“You mean you want us to babysit, hm ?”
“I’m not a baby!” Shippō folded his arms and glared at Kagome.
“No, Ship, you’re not.” Kagome in turn glared at her grandfather, who at least had the decency to look guilty. “That’s just a saying that humans use when they’re looking after someone else's children.”
Shippō continued to glare, unconvinced.
“I get to play games still, right?”
“Of course you do. Come on, let’s go find Sōta.”
Shippō received an equally warm welcome from both Sōta and Kagome’s mother. By the time the miko and the daiyōkai were departing from the shrine, Kagome’s entire family was oohing and ahhing over Shippō’s three tails and cheering him for his demonstrations of his best tricks. Even Ikigai was too interested in the little kitsune to care that Kagome was heading out the door.
- • ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••
The mall excursion went smoothly, taking very little time considering they were purchasing a year’s worth of clothes for three separate beings of vastly different shapes and sizes.
Jaken proved hardest to shop for, his stature and age not aligning with that of a human. Kagome had to buy him baby clothes. The only place she could find that sold clothes in his size without having ridiculous, baby patterns on them were from a high-end infant clothing store. His wardrobe ended up costing more than everyone else's combined. She had to admit… the little tiny hoodies, polos, joggers, and chinos were adorable. She wasn’t quite sure if any of the shoes would be able to fit his strange little feet. She figured she’d return them if not.
Hachi proved to be exceptionally difficult to shop for as well, what with the rotund shape of his body and his child-like height. She ended up getting him a wardrobe meant for plus-sized pre-teen boys, another purchase that she had to make sure had an agreeable return policy.
After stocking up on toiletries and buying four new futons and bedding to match, Sesshōmaru and Kagome went to the same place they had before for tea. Sesshōmaru got matcha to-go, and they finished the trip to the mall with a massive to-go platter of fruit sandos, which they took to the rooftop garden that Kagome had forgotten to show him on their last trip.
Sesshōmaru stood at the edge of the sleek glass and chrome railings, looking out over Tokyo station, unmasked awe glimmering in his eyes.
“I cannot believe this is Edo.”
“Yeah. Even though I grew up here… it just doesn’t feel right. All of that nature… gone.”
“It is jarring. I wish to see more, beyond this, to see what else has changed.”
He leaned his elbows on the railing as he thoughtfully chewed on a sando.
“Once we get that bunker taken care of and have everyone settled we’ll take some time and travel.”
“Hn. I would like to see what has become of my dens.”
“You think you’ll be able to find them?”
He scoffed.
“Of course I will. Even with the changed landscape, my sense of direction is innate. So long as I have a familiar starting point, I will be able to find my way.”
“Then the Bone Eater’s well or Goshinboku should be a good starting point, right?”
“Indeed.”
They remained on the rooftop for a bit longer, settling on a bench and snacking on their sandwiches while enjoying the scenery, lighthearted conversation flittering from the contrasting architecture to the sorts of foods they were going to buy from the grocery store. Kagome blinked a few times when Sesshōmaru took her hand. It wasn’t something he’d ever done while they were sitting, only while walking around. She’d viewed it as a sort of lifeline, a way that he grounded himself when traversing unfamiliar territory or enduring uncomfortable surroundings.
When she looked up, his eyes were closed. She glanced past him and noticed two teenagers, smoking cigarettes and listening to music through a shared pair of earbuds, loud enough that Kagome could hear the metal blaring between the two teens. Kagome brought her hand to Sesshōmaru’s cheek, keeping it there until his eyes slid open, surprise evident in his expression.
“When you’re uncomfortable, you can ask to leave. Come on.”
She stood, pulling him to his feet as he stared at her with an almost dumbfounded look in his eyes.
“How did you know?”
“The kids. They’re smoking, their music is loud, and they reek of cheap cologne. If I can pick up on all of that, I can’t imagine what you’re dealing with. Let’s go.”
“Thank you. Your consideration is appreciated. I’m sorry our lunch was cut short–”
“Oh, please. I was done eating anyways.”
She smiled up at him as she led him back down to the parking garage.
- • ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••
Sesshōmaru was absolutely enthralled by the supermarket and the vast array of its offerings. He loaded up their shopping cart with at least one of every fruit and anything that contained fruit.
Kagome watched with thinly-veiled amusement as he gathered products in his arms and returned to her side, adding to the growing pile within the cart. The glare he shot her dared her to say something.
She stared at the nearly full cart of items that were just for Sesshōmaru. She decided to get a second one for the rest of the household shopping.
A very nice perk of having Sesshōmaru there was his ability to scent and choose the freshest ingredients and avoid anything pesticide-laden.
Several thousand yen later and the duo were finally on their way back to pick up Shippō and Ikigai before heading home. As soon as they stepped inside of the apartment, Jaken and Hachi ambushed them under the guise of helping to put the groceries away, but truthfully, they spent more time snacking on the groceries and the leftovers from the fruit parlor than actually helping.
Kagome couldn't suppress the laugh as she watched the two small yōkai wrestle over the last sando, only for Sesshōmaru to pluck it from between them and retreat with it to the couch. Her smile remained as she finished putting the groceries away.
- • ━━━━━ ••●•• ━━━━━ ••
With her houseguests settled and taken care of, kagome was finally able to relax… well, as much as she could beneath the heavy weight of knowing there were hundreds of yōkai suffering in a prison and only she had both the ability and desire to release them.
She tried to force herself to rest, to destress a little and regain her physical, mental, and spiritual energy. She just couldn't do it. Resting didn't feel right when so many were existing in a state of horrific agony.
Kagome managed to take a single day to herself before hunkering down and getting to work.
There was much to do.
Notes:
Happy holidays, Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate, blessed yule and bright solstice to my fellow pagans. 🕯️
☃️❄️
Hope those of you suffering through this winter storm with me are safe and warm. Thank you for reading. 🤍🤍🤍🤍╔═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗
💬Discord: supsteff#0582
╚═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝
Chapter 13: Enough to Cobble Dogs With
Notes:
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-HEED THE TAGS-
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*Please note, because this story is so trauma-laden, unlike my less dark stories, NO warnings will be given in the chapter summary when a chapter will contain potentially triggering content*
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Included in this chapter... a map of the first sublevel of the prison! This is *not* the ground floor where they enter, but the floor beneath it. The ground floor contains the office where Kagome found the photo of Miroku, Sango, Kohaku, and mystery woman as well as the weapons vault. This floor contains only prison cells and facilities for the humans that once guarded the floor.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Story Info - May Contain Spoilers*
Universe:
- Pre-Episode 193 Canon Compliant
Major Divergences:
- Kagome remains in the modern era instead of returning to the Warring States period after three years.
- Canon era setting altered (Kagome’s “future” time) to take place during 2011-2012 instead of 1996-2000.
- Kagome was born in 1996 instead of 1981.
Setting:
- 21st Century, Japan; Ten years post-episode 192
Tone/Genre:
- Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance, Thriller & Suspense, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Porn, Smut
Tropes:
- Sesshoumaru's Beast, Knotting, Mating Marks, Blood Adoption Ceremony, Kagome is Shippō’s Parent, Sesshoumaru is Rin’s Parent, Alpha Sesshoumaru, Powerful Higurashi Kagome, Aging Up, Hurt Sesshoumaru
Trigger Warnings:
- Rape and Sexual Assault, Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual), Child Abuse, Self-injurious behavior, Excessive or gratuitous violence, Needles, Kidnapping (forceful deprivation of/disregard for personal autonomy), Death or dying, Pregnancy/Childbirth, Miscarriages/Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Racism (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Prejudice, Slavery (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Genocide, Concentration camps (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Suicide, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Alcohol/Drug Withdrawal, Trauma, Suicide Ideation, Scars, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Alcoholism, Nightmares about Traumatic Events, Life-Changing injury, Detailed Medical Talk, Infant Death, Graphic Deaths, Mass Death, Murder, Extreme Violence, Gore, Torture, Mutilation, Cutting of Limbs, Threatening baby/child, Violence against Children, Physical Abuse, Described Blood, Graphic Violence, Drugging Someone Against Their Will, Female Oppression, Forced Breeding, Forced Pregnancy
Fandom Warnings:
- Several Major Character Deaths
- Several Major Character Undeaths
- Several Characters OOC
Published December 26, 2022 ༻❁༺ Chapter Word Count: 4,459
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enough to cobble dogs with
idiom
A large amount of something:
Chapter Thirteen
Kagome was drained. It had taken two weeks of grueling, daily meditations to get the entire prison mapped out. She had purchased massive sheets of graphing paper to transfer her psychography maps and notes to after each meditative session. Her writing and drawing done by the will of her reiki while in the trance-like state was sloppy and rushed. Her recreations, on the other hand, were meticulous, near works of art that any architect or structural engineer would envy. Okay… so maybe they weren’t that good, but Sesshōmaru certainly made her feel like they were as he marveled over the level of detail she’d achieved and how much effort she’d put into making them as perfect as possible.
Kagome wasn’t going to take any chances, each cell color coded by the feel of the occupants aura. Red for hostile, purple for neutral, green for friendly, and orange for the ones that she couldn't get a feel for. She noted as much information as she could about each one, marking when she could tell a gender or subspecies, adding stars to the cells that held familiar auras. She double and triple checked her recordings, ensuring there were no mistakes. They would not be going back into that bunker without knowing what awaited them.
The floor he appeared to favor had a suspicious amount of empty cells, the rest filled with weak, less intelligent species of yōkai. Kagome began monitoring them and quickly realized that the daiyōkai was clearly feeding on the prisoners of that floor, every day their auras weakening until disappearing entirely.
She couldn't fault him, he had to survive somehow. It only motivated Kagome to push herself more, aware that each day she spent slacking could mean another yōkai's death for the survival of another.
There was also the fact that the daiyōkai's aura was… sad. He might’ve been physically healthy, but his mental state was troublesome. He was depressed, lonely, bored, sometimes exhibiting outbursts of anger that were so aggressive Kagome was pulled to his aura while she was surveying the rest of the bunker. She couldn't imagine what he was going through. He didn't seem malicious… but his aura was familiar and it set Kagome on edge. She had wracked her brain trying to pinpoint it, but just couldn't. Her gut told her that the aura was not that of any friendly yōkai that she had encountered… but very few of the unfriendly ones she’d met remained alive. She laughed at the thought.
As if that mattered with what they were dealing with. Miroku and Sango had been in that bunker hundreds of years after their deaths, after all.
Kagome was sitting on her bedroom floor, staring at the fourteen maps of the massive bunker. She sighed. It had taken two weeks just to map it all. How long would it take them to get through each physical cell? There were so many. And as much as Kagome wanted to rush and finish the preparations so that they could finally begin actually freeing the yōkai, there was no point. She had nowhere to put them. Her apartment was packed, she and her houseguests living like sardines.
Shippō preferred the futon over the western style bed, so he and Jaken had settled on the floor of the spare room while Hachi rejected his futon in favor of the bed. It worked out, but the room was so small and already packed with all of Kagome's boxes of junk and keepsakes that the poor yōkai trio had barely any space to walk around.
Sesshōmaru rejected the futon as well, opting to continue sleeping beside Kagome in her bed. Though, he often used the futon for lounging and reading during the day, something he was actively doing as Kagome stared at the completed maps with a brow set with stress.
"Miko, your frustration is palpable. What is the matter?"
"There are… so many, Sesshōmaru. I don't even know how to handle this. It seems easy enough in theory, but thinking of actually freeing all of them individually, talking to them and revealing that yōkai don't exist in this era, that their homes and families are likely gone. Well, that is if their family wasn't in the bunker suffering alongside them… I… it just… this probably sounds selfish but I feel drained just thinking about it. And where to put them all after? It's so much responsibility."
"It does not sound selfish, miko. It is a uniquely complicated situation. We will take it one day at a time. You have done a wonderful job with your maps. It will make our task much easier. Hachi and Jaken will assist as well. I'm sure we will discover others willing to help. Once we begin the task, we will be able to operate with better understanding of what we are dealing with."
Kagome sighed, running her hand along one of the starred cells that marked a familiar, friendly aura.
Kōga.
She frowned. She didn't want to think about what he'd been through. At least he wouldn't be alone after she freed him. He was housed near Ayame, Ginta, and Hakkaku. This told Kagome that they'd likely all been apprehended together. Or maybe there was some sort of organization to the way the yōkai were kept.
Her fingers ran along the paper, feeling the indentions of the pencil markings of the cell. It hadn't taken her long to realize that the entire prison was built in the shape of the pentacle talisman, a massive circle, the hallways within stretching out like the arms of a five-pointed star. Her finger settled on Tōtōsai.
A tear streaked down her cheek as she imagined her old friends and acquaintances strung up beneath the burning sear of reiki, alone in their cells surrounded by nothing but darkness. She felt guilty, but the first thing she planned to do was free those that she was familiar with and could recognize… those she could trust. It felt awful, like she was playing favorites, but she knew these yōkai, knew they were trustworthy and wouldn't do something that could put all of the yōkai in danger. She had to keep reminding herself that the entire situation was dangerous. One wrong move and the repercussions could be catastrophic. The bunker was an opportunity to restore yōkai-kind, to give them back a place in the world, to make them something more than myth. But to get to that point, she had to ensure their survival. Doing that would take patience and careful planning… and even more time than she’d initially imagined. So, she'd decided she'd start with freeing yōkai that could help move things along faster.
A major find was the panther tribe that, long ago, both she and Sesshōmaru had considered a mutual enemy. The daiyōkai assured Kagome that they were safe to release, though. In fact, Toran had apparently become the first female Cardinal ruler, taking up the mantle as Lady of the Northern Lands. Peace was struck between the panthers and inu long before Toran or Sesshōmaru were apprehended and imprisoned. He was glad to know a powerful ally remained alive. She was being kept on the eleventh sublevel, a maximum security block. She was housed with several others, including a qilin daiyōkai who Sesshōmaru suspected was the Lord of the East, Kirinmaru, someone that he had dubbed another valuable ally.
It concerned Kagome that the twelfth sublevel was empty. Initially, she'd thought it had possibly been where the rogue daiyōkai had been kept, but she didn't think he was enough of a threat to have earned himself a place on what she had grown to consider a "super max" floor. The bottom four floors seemed specifically designed for a single occupant, their layout different from other floors in the bunker. Sesshōmaru had been housed on a floor that held no other yōkai at all, everything around him built solely to contain a single occupant. Kagome could tell that the twelfth floor was built much the same, the reiki seals placed in a similar fashion that indicated the floor had been another single occupant floor.
She had suspected it before, but after spiritually traversing every floor of the building, she was certain that the power level of yōkai increased with each sublevel. The daiyōkai wandering the bunker was powerful, but nowhere near as powerful as Sesshōmaru or even the yōkai on the eleventh floor, some of which reached terrifying levels of power. So who was that twelfth floor for, and where were they? She was eager to investigate in person and hopefully find an answer.
Kagome's meditations had also verified what Shippō had said - children were kept in the five outer hallways while the stronger, older yōkai were housed within the circular hall surrounding them. The power levels seemed irrelevant within the outer halls, the children spanning the first nine sublevels, their auras ranging from uselessly weak to fractionally stronger than Shippō, but it was a mixed bag on every floor. That outer hallway, though, the circle, that's where every yōkai's power level seemed on par with one another, growing more fearsome each floor down. The occupancy numbers dwindled with each level, too. The strongest were few and far between while the first floor seemed to hold yōkai who would barely be capable of overpowering the children housed in the bunker. The yōkai that were familiar to Kagome were the ones on the lower floors. Together, the group had decided that when the time came, they would be working their way up the bunker rather than down, freeing the most powerful before getting to the weaker prisoners.
Sesshōmaru had looked over several of her notes on the occupants and had theories of who many of them might be. When he realized the sorts of daiyōkai that were potentially housed on those lower floors, he suggested that Kagome create subjugation talismans before releasing the less trustworthy of them. Kagome kicked herself for having not thought of it herself. It was perfect.
"Does he mean like what Inuyasha used to wear, Mama?"
"Yes, exactly like that. I might make some adjustments, though..."
Shippō had been at her side as she worked on the maps, creating masterpieces of his own on the backs of Kagome's discarded papers. After the first day of watching him draw, Kagome immediately went out and bought thousands of yen worth of art supplies for him. She'd quickly realized that it was a fantastic form of therapy for the little kitsune, his drawings detailing what had happened to him, who he had encountered, and telling stories of his life from the moment Kagome had been taken by the jewel up until he was sealed beneath the spell of the onenju. A lot of it was heartbreaking... some of it so much so that he hid them from Kagome. The drawings upset Sesshōmaru, making the daiyōkai tense and agitated every time he looked through them. Kagome had encouraged that he not look at all... unless Shippō wanted to show him something specifically. Sesshōmaru was inclined to agree.
Jaken had the opposite reaction, settling at Shippō's side and watching him draw, often drawing his own experiences to share with the kit. Kagome's heart would clench painfully as she looked through image after image of the imp or kitsune in various horrific scenarios. The ones that bothered her most involved the small yōkai strapped to some sort of surgical table, watching themselves being operated on as if they had no feeling, as if their emotional distress didn't matter. Jaken mentioned that he'd had limbs detached and reattached to see how long it took before he had use of them again. When they discovered that his species could grow entirely new limbs over time, they'd started removing limbs entirely, sometimes swapping his limbs with the limbs of other yōkai. She couldn't help but wonder what sorts of beasts could do something like that? To children? To sentient creatures? To any living thing. Dissecting frogs and working with cadavers had been a nightmare for Kagome throughout her schooling. It was necessary to learn in order to save the living. But she couldn't imagine defiling and torturing a living being for whatever knowledge those monsters were seeking. Nothing could be worth it.
Fortunately, those drawings weren't what Shippō focused on. He mainly drew the faces that he'd remembered. The younger yōkai were apparently afforded certain privileges that the older yōkai were not. Shippō had a designated play time in a room that allowed him to interact with other prepubescent and adolescent yōkai. That was the bulk of what his drawings focused on. Jaken made it clear that the older yōkai were essentially kept in solitary confinement, only allowed to leave their coffin-sized cells for "tests."
Kagome rested her chin on top of Shippō's head as she looked at a drawing of five small kitsune marveling at Shippō's third tail.
"Are they your friends, Ship?"
"Uh-huh! I actually met them outside... before. At first I thought it was weird that we'd end up in the same cell block, but I think that a lot of the hengeyōkai were kept together. Everyone that I ever saw could shapeshift. Well, back when we were free, at least."
"What do you mean?"
"They did something with the barriers. I could never transform after they got me. I couldn't do anything at all, actually. It was like I didn't have yōki."
Sesshōmaru growled and slid Kagome's headphones over his ears, his eyes closing as he tuned out the kit and listened to music. Kagome had offered them to him for exactly that purpose. Every time Shippō talked about his time in the prison, the daiyōkai devolved into a foul mood that would last for hours, his yōki unbridled and aggressive, setting everyone around him on edge. Kagome would have to stop what she was doing and keep him company or play with his hair so that he would calm down. As much as she enjoyed doing so, there was too much work to do. She couldn't keep taking long breaks every day to comfort Sesshōmaru... even if, in her opinion, that was a much more preferable way for her to spend her time. As it were, it was simpler to just prevent the issues in the first place, keeping him happy with access to music and headphones to drown out Shippō's retellings of his imprisonment.
Kagome hugged Shippō close, kissing his cheek.
"Well, your friends look very nice. I'm sure we'll find them when we go back to the bunker and then you'll be able to play together again and no one will be able to keep you from transforming or playing tricks. You can all get into trouble together." He grinned, beaming at the thought as Kagome patted his head as she stood, her spine arching backwards and arms reaching for the ceiling as she stretched. She nodded to Sesshōmaru, indicating that she was done for the day and intended to leave the room. He quickly stood and trailed her into the kitchen as she made them both some tea. Afterwards, he settled onto the couch as Kagome took a seat at the computer. She rubbed her weary eyes as she prepared to go through another round of properties sent by the realtor. She groaned at the massive list that awaited her perusal.
Kagome was certain she'd never been so exhausted in her life, not through bouts of influenza, not during medical school when she'd pulled all-nighters, studying for eighteen hours straight, not even when her grandfather fell ill and she spent several days not sleeping, her mind consumed with worry and stress over the elder man's fragile state. The exhaustion that she was experiencing after two weeks of intense reiki expenditure was marrow-deep, a heavy cloak of fatigue weighing her down, every movement leaden. Her ability to focus was nigh nonexistent, so as she stared at the list of properties and imagined mapping them out, looking at the type of land and what surrounded it, how much work she'd have to put in to figure out if the property was even worth going to look at... dread settled in her stomach. So far, her agent had sent her over sixty listings. None of them were right. Two weeks of looking and she hadn't found one single property for sale that could accommodate the needs of hundreds of yōkai. She needed property that could essentially hide an entire village from the world. It was a tall order.
“What are you doing?”
Kagome started at the sound of Sesshōmaru's voice, a small squeak leaving her throat. Sesshōmaru innocently took a sip of tea, hiding his smirk in his cup. She glared, certain he'd developed a fascination with sneaking up on her intentionally. He found far too much joy in making her jump out of her skin. Once her heart returned to her chest, she answered the daiyōkai's question.
“I’m looking for property. Somewhere remote with lots of room and lots of land.”
"Is this what you have been doing on your tablet every night? Your aura grows tumultuous around this time of day."
Kagome sighed.
"Yeah, it's not easy finding something suitable."
Sesshōmaru leaned in closer, eyes scanning the listing she'd had open.
“The currency is different.”
“Yeah, Japan started using Yen in the nineteenth century.”
“And about how much ryō does this equate to? That is an obscenely large number.”
“Ehm, well…” Kagome typed something quickly before clearing her throat and offering an answer. “Yen is about two and half ryō according to this conversion site.”
Sesshōmaru stared at her with wide eyes.
“And you possess this level of wealth?”
“It’s a long story.”
“Miko...you live as if you are destitute and you are wealthier than I was at the peak of my clan's prosperity.”
“I don’t like living in excess, alright? It’s not a big deal.”
“Will purchasing this dwelling impact your financial security?”
“Sesshōmaru, buying this house wouldn’t even put a teeny tiny dent in my bank account.”
“I will assume that was futuristic miko for ‘no.’”
“And you’re exactly right.” She paused to laugh nervously. “Anyways, I have an appointment with a realtor tomorrow. I need to meet them in person to discuss what we need. This can't be all that Japan has to offer. I don't think my agent is grasping what I'm looking for." She took a long, soothing sip of tea, her eyes closing for a moment as Sesshōmaru hummed a non-response.
"Do you wanna come with me and Shippō? We’re testing out his concealment charm. We can put one together for you, if you want.”
"I suppose that is agreeable."
"Awesome! This'll be fun! Do you think Jaken-"
"No. Not yet."
"Okay. Well, maybe once we're in a new house closer to nature he'll start feeling better."
"Perhaps."
Jaken hadn't wanted to leave the house, barely leaving the confines of the spare bedroom unless it was to spend time with Shippō when the kit settled in Kagome's room for the day. It was for the best, honestly, at least until Shippō and Hachi were able to create an effective charm for Jaken so that he was less... conspicuous. He couldn't very well leave the house looking like a toad, so Kagome didn't try to convince him otherwise when he'd become as reclusive as a vampire, nearly hissing at sunlight when shades were opened or someone came through the front door.
She sighed. She just wanted things to be like they'd been in the Warring States period, when yōkai were free to exist and beautiful beings like Sesshōmaru could fly freely through the open skies, whenever and wherever they wanted to. It was all just so wrong. Kagome put the negative thoughts to the back of her mind and resumed her task, hoping to find something at least close to what she was looking for. Sesshōmaru sat in companionable silence at her side as the miko scrolled through property listings, the daiyōkai thumbing through a history book. It took about fifteen minutes for him to grow antsy.
"Miko, do humans not require sleep?"
Kagome smirked.
"Sesshōmaru, if you want to go to sleep you can just ask me to join you."
"Hmph."
He closed his book and set it on the desk.
"Come, then."
He stood, hands tucked into the arms of his robe, staring at her expectantly. She couldn't help the snort that escaped from her nose.
"I said ask, spoiled daiyōkai."
She was met with an annoyed huff.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming. Let me get my tablet."
Once settled into bed, Sesshōmaru slowly shifted closer to Kagome. Over the course of nearly a half an hour of Kagome swiping through properties on her iPad, Sesshōmaru had closed a small distance between their bodies, his back pressing into her side.
"You are one stubborn old dog, you know that?" Kagome set her tablet down with a huff and turned Sesshōmaru into the littlest spoon. After a moment of full body tension, he relaxed into her embrace. "Voice your needs or take your liberties, Sesshōmaru. I've told you hundreds of times by now, no judgment. So stop pussyfooting and either ask for or take what you need from me."
Another huff. This one decidedly indignant.
"Do stop babbling, miko. You are the one taking liberties with my person."
"Well excuse me. Sorry for assuming. I'll just - eep!" Her narration of her intent to pull away from him was cut short as he flipped her over and pinned her beneath his weight. His words were hot, quiet breaths against her neck.
"Take what I need, you say?"
A shiver traveled down her spine as the husky, low whisper of his deep baritone caressed her ears. Sesshōmaru buried his face in her hair, inhaling and nuzzling the crook of her shoulder. "Tell me, Ka-go-me… are there limitations to the needs you are willing to meet?"
"What sort of needs are you referring to, Sesshōmaru?" her voice didn’t sound her own, breathy and strained, nearly too quiet for her own ears.
"The way in which a male needs a female." He gently pressed his hardened length between her legs, earning himself a surprised gasp from the woman beneath him. "My need is… deep."
"Sesshōmaru…"
A pleased rumble vibrated against her back, his heart pounding so hard she could feel it against her flesh.
“Gods, you smell so good.” He pressed himself harder against her. “Say yes. Meet my needs, Kagome, and I will meet yours.”
“I…” She stiffened when his lips planted a soft kiss on the crook of her neck, his cock pulsing against her core. Kagome was at a loss for words. Out of all of the advances she’d rejected in her life, his was by far the most difficult. When he groaned and began thrusting against her in earnest, his breath picking up, hands traveling down her sides and gripping her hips, Kagome had to fight back the urge to press herself against him.
She wanted to cry. For several weeks, she'd been keeping the budding emotions for him in a tightly sealed little box at the back of her mind. She knew he couldn't possibly have feelings for her. He'd said it himself, it was only a need that he wanted her to meet. She was the only female capable of meeting that particular one, making her nothing more than a means to an end. It broke her heart. Kagome's emotions warred inside of her, the negative chaos finally overtaking her arousal. Sesshōmaru scented it instantly, his nose twitching against her neck.
He rolled off of her, aura flaring in untempered whirls of stressful emotions as Mokomoko manifested in his lap. He averted his gaze, his flush deepening along his alabaster skin.
"Forgive me. I do not know what came over me."
Exhaustion had washed over her, her body becoming so heavy she felt like she might sink straight through her mattress. She couldn't allow herself to show how upset she was, how hurt she was. She knew all too well that keeping her emotions hidden from yōkai required extra effort. She had to believe her own lies, throw herself into the performance. And so she did. She hated deceiving him... but she wouldn't add to his burden by bringing her silly human emotions into the mix of things he was dealing with. Kagome just wanted to play the entire thing off, afraid he wouldn't open up to her again after rejection of something so intimate. She plastered a grin on her face that she hoped looked at least a little genuine, then gently flicked his forehead, bolstering herself with feigned, casual confidence. She surprised even herself with the steadiness of her voice.
"Hormones, I'd say. It's alright. Don't apologize. We've been sharing a bed for almost a month. It was bound to come up at some point…erh, no pun intended." She paused to laugh awkwardly, her mirth met with unamused silence. She cleared her throat. "But in all seriousness, it's not you or anything… it's just… I've never…"
"I… see."
"Sorry."
"Whatever for, silly human?"
"I don't know. It feels like you're disappointed in me."
"No, miko. I am disappointed in myself."
"Whatever for, silly yōkai?"
A smirk tugged at the side of his mouth.
"Wait… was that… could it be? Did the great and terrible Lord of the West just smile?"
He deadpanned.
"I will admit to no such thing."
"Mhm. Go to sleep. Maybe next week we'll find you a nice female inuyōkai in that bunker."
Kagome’s mental stress-level increased tenfold as she forced those words from her mouth, their implication burning her throat like bile. She somehow managed a giggle as she turned out the light, hoping her lightheartedness would ease any tension and keep things from becoming awkward between them.
Much like Sesshōmaru, Kagome was completely oblivious to the turmoil bubbling beneath her bedmate's skin. As she draped herself over the daiyōkai's chest, he exhaled his turmoil and inhaled her scent, sighing in contentment, soothed by her proximity.
"G'night, Shomru." Kagome was barely awake as she mumbled into his hair. He found himself unbothered by the likelihood that the small human woman that had somehow weaseled her way beneath his barriers would spend the night drooling in his prized silver tresses. He draped his pelt around her and pulled her closer.
"Goodnight, miko."
With whispered words and a nuzzle to her temple, Sesshōmaru drifted off to sleep.
Notes:
Rut-roh. Somethin is a brewin.
You thought you were gettin a lemon, didn't you? Nope. None for you. Merely some grapefruit-juice in your eye. The most unpleasant of citrusy experiences. Sorry. Also, my apologies to poor Sess. He's really getting the short stick in this story.╔═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗
💬Discord: supsteff#0582
╚═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝
Chapter 14: The Quick Brown Fox Jumps Over The Lazy Dog
Notes:
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-HEED THE TAGS-
╚═════════════.»•» 🚩 «•«╝
*Please note, because this story is so trauma-laden, unlike my less dark stories, NO warnings will be given in the chapter summary when a chapter will contain potentially triggering content*
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👀👀👀🍋🤏
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Story Info - May Contain Spoilers*
Universe:
- Pre-Episode 193 Canon Compliant
Major Divergences:
- Kagome remains in the modern era instead of returning to the Warring States period after three years.
- Canon era setting altered (Kagome’s “future” time) to take place during 2011-2012 instead of 1996-2000.
- Kagome was born in 1996 instead of 1981.
Setting:
- 21st Century, Japan; Ten years post-episode 192
Tone/Genre:
- Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance, Thriller & Suspense, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Porn, Smut
Tropes:
- Sesshoumaru's Beast, Knotting, Mating Marks, Blood Adoption Ceremony, Kagome is Shippō’s Parent, Sesshoumaru is Rin’s Parent, Alpha Sesshoumaru, Powerful Higurashi Kagome, Aging Up, Hurt Sesshoumaru
Trigger Warnings:
- Rape and Sexual Assault, Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual), Child Abuse, Self-injurious behavior, Excessive or gratuitous violence, Needles, Kidnapping (forceful deprivation of/disregard for personal autonomy), Death or dying, Pregnancy/Childbirth, Miscarriages/Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Racism (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Prejudice, Slavery (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Genocide, Concentration camps (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Suicide, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Alcohol/Drug Withdrawal, Trauma, Suicide Ideation, Scars, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Alcoholism, Nightmares about Traumatic Events, Life-Changing injury, Detailed Medical Talk, Infant Death, Graphic Deaths, Mass Death, Murder, Extreme Violence, Gore, Torture, Mutilation, Cutting of Limbs, Threatening baby/child, Violence against Children, Physical Abuse, Described Blood, Graphic Violence, Drugging Someone Against Their Will, Female Oppression, Forced Breeding, Forced Pregnancy
Fandom Warnings:
- Several Major Character Deaths
- Several Major Character Undeaths
- Several Characters OOC
Published December 28, 2022 ༻❁༺ Chapter Word Count: 6,465
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the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog
pangram
a sentence that contains all the letters of the alphabet:
Chapter Fourteen
"Mama! Wake up!"
Kagome opened her eyes to find Shippō bouncing on the bed excitedly. Ikigai barreled in after him, mouth open and tongue lolling, back bowed and front paws repeatedly slapping against the mattress in an attempt to initiate play. Kagome giggled as she took in the scene.
“Come here, you!” She snatched Shippō and curled him into her, tickling his side and peppering him with kisses. This excited Ikigai further, prompting him to bound on top of Kagome and the kit, playful growls and barks rumbling against them. “What, you want kisses, too?”
Kagome sat up, Shippō still hugged tightly against her chest as she kissed Ikigai’s muzzle.
That’s when she remembered Sesshōmaru was in bed with her. In her mind’s eye, she imagined a very grumpy daiyōkai lord, awakened by a shouting child and hyper Kishu Inu. She slowly peeked over to his side of the bed, surprised to find him propped up, medical textbook forgotten in hand, amusement coloring his face as he observed the rowdy scene.
Sesshōmaru schooled his features when he realized she was looking at him, eyes snapping back to his book. Kagome rolled closer to him to inspect the page he was on. She briefly saw the chapter title, “Endocrine System”, before he very subtly shifted the book just beyond reach of her gaze.
“What’chya readin?”
Sesshōmaru awkwardly cleared his throat at her question.
“When you make reference to things with which I am unfamiliar, I make attempts to acquaint myself with their definition.”
“And what’s the word of the day?”
He closed the book and set it on the bedside table.
“It is of no consequence.”
Kagome quirked an eyebrow.
“Alright, then. Well, I promised Shippō we’d take Ikigai for a walk to a nearby park this morning before we go see the realtor. You’re welcome to join if you’d like.”
“Yeah! I made you a charm, Sesshōmaru-sama! You can test it out and let me know if you want me to change anything.”
“Change?”
“Well, it’s like shapeshifting. I have to picture what you’ll look like when I make the charm.”
“Hn.”
“So, you wanna try it?”
Sesshōmaru’s response was a single, short nod. Shippō jumped up excitedly, eager to share his handiwork, happy to feel useful. He bounded down the hallway, returning seconds later with a small jewelry box.
“Here, mama. I’ll let you give it to him. I’m going to go feed Ikigai before we go. Come on Ikigai!” The kit bounced his way out of the room, closing the door behind himself and the dog that followed at his heels.
Hachi had been working with the kit for a solid week to create effective concealment charms. The tanuki had never been directly involved in the production of them when yōkai first began trying to blend in with humans, but he knew the process. It fell on Kagome to acquire the items that Shippō and Hachi would need in order to make the charms, most of which weren't easily procured.
Firstly, they required specific metals, ones that reacted properly when fused with yōki. Hachi couldn’t name any, so Kagome acquired several different types for him to inspect. They’d discovered that platinum was by far the most conductive, allowing ki to flow and flourish within it without melting beneath the power. Any harder metal stifled the flow of ki, any weaker ones either grew very hot or the structure became unstable. Getting the metal had been the easy part. The rest of the required supplies–save for a stockpile of broadleaves– not so much.
Creating the charms was complicated. Their purpose was to both conceal appearance and yōki. The problem with that was in order to create it, yōki was required. By enchanting the charms, the tanuki would be adding his own yōki to them. They needed to be able to conceal the signature of both the wearer and the creator. This required sorcery.
Finding the herbs required for said sorcery took a lot of effort, a lot of time, and a lot of money. Hachi, fortunately, remembered the recipe and was able to create the potion in Kagome’s bathtub, soaking several dozen platinum charms within the ensorcelled water. After which, Hachi used his yōki on one of the pieces to demonstrate how it worked. She watched, fascinated as he transferred his yōki to one of the broadleaves, wrapped a platinum necklace within the leaf, and enclosed it in his palm. When his little paw opened, the leaf had vanished. Hachi put the necklace on himself and instantly transformed into a very attractive, very human male. Kagome was shocked by the effectiveness of it. She couldn’t sense his ki at all. It hit her hard… how many yōkai had she encountered that had been hiding beneath that very magic?
Hachi explained that even shapeshifters benefited from the charms, enabling them to take shape from the jewelry as opposed to focusing and holding a transformation… something very useful to Shippō, who, while having mastered taking shape, was still struggling to maintain it for extended periods of time and often accidentally dropped it when startled or distracted. Hachi also benefited from this… since getting drunk on saké caused the same issues that being an adolescent kitsune did for Shippō.
So both hengeyōkai created jewelry, Hachi overseeing Shippō’s work on his own charm. The charm had to be solid and encircle a body part, so the type of item used had to be something along the lines of a necklace, a ring, a belt, or a bracelet. No earrings, no barrettes. Solid, circular items only.
Hachi and Shippō didn’t seem to care about what sort of object they used, viewing it as a nuisance. Kagome had offered to buy them something meaningful, but in the end, both they and Jaken had opted for simple bracelets. She wanted to surprise Sesshōmaru with something special, though, knowing all too well his stance on hiding, so she had a custom platinum ring made for him.
When the time came to give it to him, she wondered if it had been a good idea. It didn’t escape Sesshōmaru’s notice that Kagome’s aura was suddenly nervous, shifting uncomfortably in the atmosphere. She cleared her throat and thrust the box towards him without making eye contact.
“Here.”
He accepted it, his fingers brushing against hers as he slid the box from her grasp. He froze when he opened it, breath catching in his throat. He couldn’t recall a time he’d ever been rendered speechless, but in that moment, as he stared at what he was certain was the most thoughtful gift he’d ever received, he could find no words.
He blinked away his stupor when he felt Kagome’s aura grow more chaotic. When he forced his gaze to her, she was chewing on her lower lip, fingers brushing nervously through a long lock of ebony hair.
“This is my clan’s mon.” He wanted to cringe at himself for stating the bit of information that she clearly was already aware of, having given him the gift in the first place.
“Yeah.” Kagome ceased her compulsive combing to instead chew on her thumbnail. “I thought… I mean, it’s going to be something you’re stuck wearing for a long time. I figured I’d get you something nice. It’s platinum, so it won’t discolor and definitely won’t turn your skin green. I don’t know if that’s an issue for yōkai. But, uhm, yeah. Since it’s forcing you to cover up who you are, I thought the jewelry should at least represent you in some way. Is… is it okay?”
Bright blue orbs finally met his own guarded, gilded eyes, peering up at him through her dark, heavy lashes.
“It is… incredibly thoughtful, miko. You have my thanks.”
Her grin made something in his chest clench, an overwhelming warmth spreading throughout his torso.
He cleared his throat before speaking.
“Kagome… last night… I - “
“Stop worrying about it.”
“I do not wish for things to change between us.”
“Does it seem like anything’s changed, silly?”
“I suppose not… you do not think less of me?”
“Of course not. Jeez, Sesshōmaru. Don’t overthink this, okay? Let’s just forget it happened. Come on, try the ring on. I want to see if it fits.”
Kagome grew concerned the moment she heard Shippō’s failed attempt to stifle a giggle just outside of her bedroom door, which she realized was cracked slightly. She watched anxiously as Sesshōmaru slid the ring on his finger. Her eyes widened with shock before the laughter took hold of her, possessing her body. Her bedroom door flew open and Shippō bounded in to join Kagome in rolling around the bed, both of them cracking up.
"What has come over the two of you?"
Kagome howled at the gruff, male voice coming from the sultry, feminine figure that Sesshōmaru had turned into. He looked down, eyes wide and unblinking when he found enormous breasts impeding his ability to see anything south of his chest. Kagome struggled to speak through her laughing and wheezing.
"Shippō…. Do I need to monitor your internet usage? I don't know where you saw a woman that looks like that but you're not allowed to go to whatever website it was ever again."
Shippō scoffed, rolling his eyes.
"Mama, it's Yukina from Alive or Dead 5! She's only the coolest fighter in the game."
Kagome made a mental note to smack Sōta for letting Shippō play games that were borderline pornographic.
Sesshōmaru growled.
"Entirely unrealistic. How is one expected to fight in this ridiculous costume? The breasts are not even properly bound. If she were any sort of warrior she would bind her breasts so they are not so disruptive. I doubt I could complete even a simple kata in this state. Absurd."
Kagome's and Shippō's fits of laughter started anew.
Sesshōmaru scoffed, rolling his eyes.
"Truly, Kagome, I expect no less from a kitsune cub but you are an adult female. Do act like it."
She couldn’t resist, barely getting the words out as her body was wracked by her mirth.
"You're also an adult female!" Kagome roared, doubling over. "Oh, Shippō. This has to be your greatest prank ever."
"Yup! Definitely. Honestly I deserve another tail for this one." He puffed up, hands on his hips and nose in the air, basking in his genius for a moment before turning back to the daiyōkai. "So, Sesshōmaru-sama, is there anything you'd like to change about the concealment?"
"No. I think I quite like this form. Shall we go to the park now?"
Kagome and Shippō froze, eyes wide.
"You're not serious?"
"When am I not serious, miko?"
“You are not leaving the house like that.”
“And why not? Do I not appear human enough for you?”
He crossed his arms beneath his absurdly large breasts, pushing them forward and forcing them from the confines of his robe.
“Give me the ring.”
“No. It is mine. Inuyōkai are very touchy about our property, you know.”
“I’m going to purify you.”
Sesshōmaru smirked as he slid the ring from his finger and handed it to Kagome as his features shifted back to his own. She turned to Shippō, holding it out, a stern set to her brow.
“As funny as that was, we have stuff to do today. You go ask Hachi to help you fix this, okay? No more tricks. I’m going to take a shower and by the time I get out, you’re gonna have a concealment for Sesshōmaru that keeps him looking as much like himself as possible, alright?”
Shippō rolled his eyes as he retrieved the ring.
“Fine.”
“Good boy.” Kagome ruffled his hair, pulling his head closer so she could give him a kiss on the temple. He wiped it away with the back of his hand, laughing.
“You’re droolier than Ikigai, Mama.”
Kagome pretended to be offended, jaw dropping and hand covering her heart.
“Why, you–” She moved to snatch him, but he quickly ran from the room, laughing and mocking Kagome’s ‘human speed.’
The miko smirked as she shifted her gaze to Sesshōmaru.
“Shower?”
“Hn.”
He followed her as she made her way to the bathroom. Kagome noted how uncomfortable he seemed. She was worried that it had something to do with the night before.
“Are you okay, Sesshōmaru?”
“I… yes. I am fine.”
“Something feels weird. I don’t want things to get weird between us.”
“It is not that, miko. I merely… I am experiencing something... disconcerting.”
“Oh?”
“Do not concern yourself.”
She pouted.
“What? Why?”
“It is of no consequence.”
“You only say that when it’s something you don’t want me to know.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes clenching shut and jaw ticking.
“I am frustrated.”
Kagome blinked a few times before responding. Getting him to talk about whatever was bothering him was like pulling teeth. She took a steadying breath and tried to be patient as she fished for more information, suppressing the snarky quips that came to mind.
“About what?”
“I am in pain.”
“Like… a headache?”
“It… I do not wish to offend you.”
“Why would you offend me? What’s going on? You’re usually way more straightforward than this.”
He remained silent, but his aura was growing steadily more chaotic.
“My manhood is aching. It is incredibly uncomfortable and I do not know how to remedy it.”
Kagome felt her face flush. She was trying very hard to remain professional, to slip into doctor mode, but considering it was Sesshōmaru, she was struggling. She cleared her throat.
“Your manhood? Right. Okay. Uhm… which part?”
“The sack.”
Ah.
She nodded. With the hard part out of the way, it was easier to distance herself and get into a professional mindset.
“Have you experienced this before?”
“No. I have not.”
"Describe the pain."
"Aching, heavy. It is not unbearable… just frustrating."
"A bit uncomfortable, huh?"
"Yes "
"No pain anywhere else, like your lower back or groin?"
"Groin?"
"Uhm, near your inner thighs."
"No. The pain is only in the sack."
"It’s probably just epididymal hypertension. There’s a few things that cause it… but considering what happened last night, I’d say you have too much blood flow and swelling in your genitals. When’s the last time you… uhm… ejaculated? Erh, found release sexually."
He scoffed.
“Certainly not since you found me.”
“So… a long time. Have you ever… given yourself release?”
He glared at her, unable to hide the slight flush on his cheeks.
“Of course I have.”
“Why haven’t you since coming here?”
“When would I have the privacy for something like that, Kagome? I cannot be by myself without experiencing panic.”
“Right. Sorry. So, uhm, if you can't bring yourself to release the best thing I can suggest is a cold shower. It'll help slow the blood flow to… that area. Or… you could shower alone. I can’t see you when you’re in there. Feel free to…uhm… take care of it. I’ll stay out here until you’re…erh… finished.”
He considered her for a moment, conflict clear on his face.
“You will not be offended?”
“Nope. I’ll just read something. You pretend I’m not here.”
She could sense his apprehension.
"Look, I'm gonna go ahead and turn on some music. If you want to take care of it, I won't even be able to hear anything. Okay?"
"Hn."
Kagome turned on her bluetooth speaker and let the room fill with lofi, since he seemed to enjoy that during their car rides and it wouldn't interfere with her concentration while reading. She sat on the floor, her back against the wall, and pointedly ignored him as she opened her phone to a medical journal. She smirked when the sound of the shower turning on reached her ears.
Several minutes passed by before she started to hear Sesshōmaru's breathing increase, little pants and gasps escaping every so often. Unfortunately, the lofi had not been enough to drown any of the noise out. At least it had helped him relax enough to take care of himself, she supposed.
Kagome read the same sentence for the third time. Images from the previous night kept coming into her mind unbidden, Sesshōmaru's thick length rubbing against her, the feel of his hands on her hips, the soft, gentle feel of his mouth against her neck. It made tears start to well in her eyes. She wanted him so badly it made her chest tighten and her stomach burn. She had been trying to avoid admitting it to herself, but with every passing day she was developing deeper feelings for the daiyōkai, steadily falling in love with him.
Over the two weeks that she’d been mapping the prison, he’d remained at her side for every minute of every day. Spending that kind of time with him, nonstop for nearly an entire month had made it feel like she’d known him her entire life. Being away from him for any amount of time had started to feel unnatural, like she was missing a piece of herself. Already she felt closer to him than any of her friends…any of her family, even.
She never would have imagined that Sesshōmaru was such a vulnerable, kind, funny, deep being. And he was so different when it was just the two of them. Getting to know him seemed impossible in the past, but the Sesshōmaru she’d taken home with her was open to allowing her–and only her– in.
She’d learned exactly how he took his tea, which fruits were his favorites, the types of fabrics that he enjoyed the most when choosing clothing or bedding. She learned of his love for poetry, both reading and writing it. She discovered he had an incredible, dry sense of humor that, for some reason, he only allowed to come out when they were alone.
On the rare occasion, like that morning, he allowed Shippō to be privy to that part of his personality, too. He often treated the kit like an extension of her, as if he truly understood that Shippō was her son, that their bond was deep… and he respected it.
He allowed himself to be mostly unguarded with Kagome, something she was sure was born from necessity considering he couldn’t be by himself, but nevertheless, it allowed her to see him. Maybe even to help him see himself a little, or at least guide him in finding the parts that only the modern world had given him access to. Together they discovered his taste in modern music and the types of movies and tv shows he liked, Kagome guiding him towards things that were similar to any he showed interest in.
But perhaps what Kagome loved most about him was that he was smart, his thirst for knowledge rivaling her own. He needed to know everything, consuming book after book and documentary after documentary, his days filled with learning. And he caught on lightning fast, his intuition unrivaled with an astounding ability to grasp concepts or understand things based solely on the context surrounding them or just by observing others.
He wasn’t perfect, she knew that. He was introverted and kept so much of who he was to himself that it was hard to get to know him. He could be abrasive and pompous, often petulant, his bluntness toeing the line of rude and obnoxious. He was a control freak and hated when things didn’t go his way, when he was told ‘no’, or when anyone contradicted or disagreed with him.
But when she was with him… she felt alive. She felt things that she’d never, ever felt before.
And so, she couldn't just be his means to an end. If she were to just be selfish, if she just gave in and took advantage of his need for her own benefit, she’d only end up getting hurt.
She had to suppress her feelings, continue ignoring them. For both his sake and hers. As much as it pained her, finding him a female from the bunker that he could feel compatible with was probably best for everyone.
She tried to steady her breathing when the sound of him aggressively stroking his flesh broke through the music, lewd, wet slapping bouncing off the bathroom walls and pulling her from her inner thoughts. Kagome clenched her thighs around the empty space that longed to be filled. She heard Sesshōmaru's breath catch in his throat, followed by a frustrated growl.
His yōki was suddenly unfurling around her, filled with rage, anguish, humiliation.
And then he choked on a whimper.
"Sesshōmaru?"
When he didn't answer she got up, calling his name one more time before cautiously peeking around the shower curtain. She didn't even bother taking her clothes off before jumping in when she found him sitting on the floor, rocking back and forth, claws digging into his scalp. The bright red of blood beneath his fingertips was a shocking, stark contrast with his snowy, white hair, the rivulets dripping to the pooling water around him, fading from crimson to pink as it hit and rippled along the bottom of the tub.
"Hey, hey! Sesshōmaru, what happened?"
"There are memories.” He growled, his head shaking back and forth, eyes still clenched. “Every time I… get close. Kagome they won't stop." He snarled, his claws scratching at his scalp again.
"Sesshōmaru! Stop hurting yourself, please! Give me your hands. Look at me.” He was shaking as she took his bloodied claws in her grasp, stroking soothing circles into his heated skin. “Good. Breathe. You're safe. You're here with me. No one will ever hurt you again."
Blood dripped down the side of his head from the open wounds, gliding over the stripes on his cheeks as his eyes remained on hers, more open and wounded than she’d ever seen him before. Kagome released his hands and cupped his face, thumbs wiping away the trails of blood. He instantly nuzzled into her touch.
"These memories… I do not recognize them. I do not even know if they are real.” He swallowed hard, eyes finally averting from hers. “I do not want to know if they are. I feel they are best left forgotten but as I near my release they flood my mind. They are all I can think of and I desperately want them to stop."
Kagome suppressed the urge to wrap him in a big hug.
"Okay, do you want to get out of the shower and get these cuts cleaned up? They look really deep. We can talk more after I get you bandaged."
"I… Miko." His cheeks flushed as he mumbled his confession. "The ache is worse now."
Kagome took a deep breath.
"I want to offer to help, Sesshōmaru. But…"
"I was not asking for your assistance. I just… I have never had this problem, this ache, this… need. I feel ridiculous."
A mirthless laugh left him as he leaned his head back against the shower wall.
"I'm sure the great Lord of the West had plenty of concubines at his beck and call to prevent this sort of thing, huh?"
She tried to force a smile, to lighten the mood. His attention abruptly cut to her. Kagome’s smile instantly dropped. For a solid minute he just looked at her, brows furrowing.
"Kagome… did Inuyasha never tell you that inuyōkai mate for life?"
"Wh-what? No… he never mentioned that."
Sesshōmaru snarled his response.
"Fool.” He sighed, taking a deep breath. “It is little wonder he caused you so much pain with the entire ordeal involving the clay miko. You deserve to know, to understand. You recall that I mentioned that Kikyō was his chosen mate, yes?”
She nodded weakly.
“They never did complete a mating–she died before they could–but his beast had chosen her. It is more than merely picking someone and falling in love as humans do, it is a deep, instinctual connection that cannot be broken by anything other than death. That is why her resurrection was so confusing for him, for his beast. Coupled with her reincarnation... his beast could not discern which one of you were meant to be his mate. It affected him greatly."
"I… why wouldn't he tell me?"
The corners of Sesshōmaru's mouth pulled into a frown.
"Perhaps he did not understand his own instinct at the time… he did not grow up around other inuyōkai. He knew only the confusion that he felt. He could not even communicate with his beast as a full blooded yōkai can. As I have mentioned, it was I who informed him that the clay miko had been his chosen mate."
"So… Sesshōmaru, are you saying that inuyōkai are celibate until mating?"
"Yes, Kagome."
"So w-why… last night?"
He looked taken aback before his eyes widened, realization dawning. Crimson burned along his nose and cheeks, reaching all the way to the tips of his ears. He cleared his throat.
"I was acting under the impression that you were aware that inuyōkai mate for life and would therefore understand my proposition was not merely sexual in nature."
"A-are you saying that you… wanted to make me your mate?"
His eyes averted.
Kagome’s head was spinning, question after question assaulting her mind. She didn’t have time to figure out which one to voice first when he began to speak.
"I feel incredibly foolish, Kagome. I have never propositioned a female before and your rejection was very clear. And now I am aching between my thighs, the swelling will not cease, and you are looking at me as if I have sprouted a second head. I do not think that I can bear much more of this humiliation. I am not accustomed to making myself so vulnerable. Even discussing this is setting me on edge."
Kagome's attention was drawn to Sesshōmaru's lap when she noticed movement, eyes widening when she watched his extremely large, prominent erection flex with need.
She forced her eyes back to the daiyōkai's face, which had since been buried behind a forearm that he’d laid over his eyes. She was at a loss, entirely unequipped to deal with… whatever was happening.
"Sesshōmaru… okay. One issue at a time. We need to take care of your… erm…pain."
He sat up, arm falling from his face.
"'We'? You wish to–"
She waved her hands, laughing nervously.
"No. That's something we need to discuss when you have a clear head, alright? For now, we need to either make the water cold and get some of that swelling down, or you need to ejaculate."
"The water was cold when I first entered the shower. It did not work. As for release, I tried, Kagome. I do not even wish to analyze why these images are coming to mind but even with their presence, this stiffness in my member remains but I cannot reach release."
"Okay, so don't analyze. Forget them for now. Don't close your eyes. Focus on me."
"You wish to be present while I pleasure myself?"
She flushed, clearing her throat.
"What I want is to make you feel better. I'm not going to watch you or anything. I'll just be here, grounding you. Would that be alright?"
"Yes."
"Okay… uhm, so, I want you to keep your eyes on mine. Just focus on being here with me while you… erh… touch yourself."
"That… is most agreeable." Heavy-lidded gold remained locked on cerulean as he took his cock in hand and began to stroke.
His lips parted, breath hitching. Kagome could see the gentle movement of his arm in her peripheral vision, but her eyes never left his. It was strangely intimate, being there with him as he pleasured himself, knowing he was aroused, having his eyes on her, open and vulnerable, filled with something that set Kagome’s insides on fire.
She couldn’t stop herself from touching him, her hand going to his face without her permission. A breath caught in his throat and suddenly his arm was moving faster. When her thumb stroked along one of his facial stripes it went jagged beneath her touch, his fangs clenching, a tinge of red bleeding into his eyes. Kagome gasped, withdrawing her hand.
Sesshōmaru’s free hand shot to her wrist, halting her retreat as his markings smoothed and his gaze returned to gold, his other hand still pounding away in her peripheral vision.
"I will… mn-never hurt you, K-kagome. Do ngh-not fear me. Please. It o-only happened be-cause, hah-I was…relaxed."
"Oh… I'm sorry. I thought that I'd upset you. You can relax with me. It's okay." She cupped his cheek again, instantly prompting him to close his eyes and nuzzle into her touch.
He suddenly growled, his palms shooting to his eyelids as he shook his head as if to physically throw something off of him. Kagome did the first thing that came to mind, grabbing the hair at the nape of his neck and pulling his forehead to hers. His eyes instantly snapped open, once again locking with her own. Her voice was strong, commanding, adrenaline fueling her confidence.
"I told you to stay right here. With me. Look at me."
He gasped when her hand gripped his erection and began stroking it fast and hard.
He yelped, back arching as he almost instantly began shooting thick white rivulets all over his chest and stomach. His breathing became rapid, a long, masculine groan escaping and echoing throughout the shower, the sound dim and distant in Kagome’s buzzing ears.
When his head began to tilt back and his eyes began to roll, Kagome tightened her grip at his nape and forced his face back to hers again.
"Stay. Right here. My eyes.” He was panting, lids still trying to lull closed. “No, don't close them. Feel what I'm doing to you."
He was gasping for air, sputtering as both of his hands rested on her shoulders, his hips undulating with every thick burst that shot forth and coated his own body. It seemed endless, jet after jet erupting in long ropes. There must have been at least ten spurts before one final trickle dripped down his softening length.
"Kagome!" Her name devolved into a whine, which bled into a whimper as he shot up and began to pepper the underside of her jaw with rapidfire kisses. "Thank you.”
She smiled as she pulled back to look him in the eyes. He was feral, his expression nothing she’d ever seen before, eyes wide with wonder, lips parted. His entire body was trembling and heaving. When the reality of what she’d done started to hit her, she forced the encroaching panic from her mind and focused on the daiyōkai and his wellbeing. She cleared her throat.
"Feel better?"
Sesshōmaru laughed, a light and airy sound that she was sure she'd never heard him make. He ran his hands over his face as he collapsed against the head of the tub in a boneless heap, taking a moment before grunting his noncommittal response.
"Hn."
He was still a heaving, disheveled mess but there was a certain foreign lightness to him. A blush crept along Kagome's cheeks.
"I've never done that before."
"You did very well, miko."
"You did most of the work."
"You pushed me past the edge that I was struggling to reach. I thank you."
"I-it's nothing, really. You don’t need to keep thanking me. We need to think of something else in the long-run, though… I… I don't think it's a good idea for me to do that again."
He looked crestfallen for the briefest of moments before schooling his features back into that stoic mien. There was a noticeable hint of desperation in his voice that betrayed his feelings, though, his speech rushed and abnormally informal.
"Not even the eye contact? That was helpful. Or perhaps talking as you were towards the end?"
Kagome sighed. She didn't miss the flaring of his nostrils.
"It is because it arouses you?"
She felt the heat of her blush overwhelm her face and neck.
"Sesshōmaru… you said you'd try to be less intrusive."
“I hardly think scenting your arousal could be considered intrusive after what you just witnessed and participated in. I was merely wondering if females experience the same… ailment that you have cured me of.” Kagome's eyes tracked his hand as he absentmindedly massaged his scrotum, which was significantly more relaxed and less swollen. He seemed to realize what he was doing as soon as her attention had shifted. He cleared his throat as he rested his arm over his lap. Kagome blinked, forcing her gaze back to his face as she tried to recall what he'd last said so that she could formulate a response.
“Oh… uhm… I’m good, thanks. I mean…yes, females can experience… that. But I’m fine.” She waved her hand, her nervous laughter trailing off before she continued speaking. “That’s not why. Not entirely. We… need to have a discussion. Let’s finish showering, okay? I really want to get those cuts cleaned–” Kagome paused, leaning close, wide eyes inspecting the bloodstains in his hair and the sealed wounds beneath them.
“H-how did they heal so fast?”
“Miko, have you forgotten that I am daiyōkai?”
“No… but… Sesshōmaru, I could see your skull.”
“I have healed from worse, Kagome.”
“Yeah, I’m aware… but that was so fast.”
He started getting agitated.
“Perhaps that is why your kind were so interested in continuously inflicting such injuries and watching them heal.”
His expression told her that he hadn’t thought before he spoke, a rare occurrence for the daiyōkai. Kagome instantly threw her arms around him, pulling him close.
“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry that they did that to you. I’m so sorry for making you think of it.”
He rumbled, his body vibrating against hers, arms wrapping around her back.
“The kit has spoken of it often. I have not been able to.”
“You don’t have to, okay? You don’t have to. But if you ever need to, I’m here. I’ll always be here, no matter what.”
His grip around her tightened.
“I am safe with you, Kagome. It is… comforting… to be around someone who wields reiki and uses it to heal. It helps to remind me that not all humans are a threat, not all who wield reiki mean to cause harm.”
“I would never, ever hurt you. I want to hunt down the people who did and make them pay. I don’t think I’ve ever hated anyone, Sesshōmaru. Not like this." She felt herself tremble, her reiki rising with her rage. "I hate them.”
His hand gripped the back of her head as he nuzzled against her neck.
“Thank you. For everything that you have done for me, miko.”
Kagome clenched her eyes shut as she allowed herself to melt into his embrace. The power dynamic of their relationship was what was causing her the most hesitation. Touching him sexually had made her feel dirty, like she’d taken advantage of him. He was traumatized, wounded… and she was his only connection to the modern world. She had rescued him, nursed him, she was responsible for him like he was a patient. His vulnerability and unstable mental state could have been influencing his feelings. She felt even worse knowing that his kind mate for life. There’s no way that the Sesshōmaru that told Inuyasha he had filthy blood and openly referred to him as mongrel. Half-breed. Mut … the Sesshōmaru that scoffed at Inuyasha for caring for a human creature … he never would have chosen her as a mate.
Just then, a hesitant knock sounded on the door. Kagome nervously released Sesshōmaru, standing and exiting the shower, her soaked clothes dripping all over the floor. She cracked the door open and found Shippō nervously attempting to peek around her. Jaken scrambled to his side, pulling at his arm and trying to lead him back towards their bedroom.
“Forgive me, miko-sama, I tried to stop him. He was concerned.”
“Concerned?”
“Ah, well, there was a very hostile spike of yōki and then things became very quiet. Just now he felt the distress in your reiki. I assured him that Sesshōmaru-sama would never harm you–”
“I’m fine, he’s fine. We’ll be out in a few minutes, okay? Shippō, go get ready to leave. Jaken? Can you make sure he eats something?”
The imp grinned at this. He was eager for any opportunity to cook.
“Oh, yes, miko-sama! I would be honored. Come now, Shippō.”
The kit continued to stare nervously at Kagome, even as Jaken led him down the hall. Kagome sighed as she closed the door, leaning her back against it and covering her face with her hands. She was so distracted that she hadn’t even heard the water turn off, so when she dropped her arms to her side and opened her eyes, she nearly yelped at Sesshōmaru’s proximity. He covered her mouth, shushing her.
“Do not scream, miko. The kit is weary enough.”
“I’m so sorry…”
“Do not apologize. The kit has sharp senses and you are his mother. You should be proud that he was brave enough to even approach the door if he truly thought I had lost control of myself and harmed you. I should be the one apologizing. I need to keep my yōki under control. It will not happen again.”
“Stop that. Your yōki is part of you. That’s like saying you’ll never frown again. You can’t help it. You don’t need to be under such tight control all of the time, Sesshōmaru. Besides, it wasn't even just your ki that got him nervous. I lost control of mine, too.”
"I suppose you are right."
"I am." She took a cleansing breath, eyes closed, a smile gracing her lips when she opened them again. "Okay. We need to get a move on. I promised Ship I'd take him to the park but I can't miss this appointment."
Sesshōmaru sighed, his eyes drifting along her body.
“Perhaps you should remove your clothing before we continue our shower.”
A smirk played along his lips before he walked back to the tub and turned on the water. Kagome huffed as she peeled herself out of her drenched pajamas. When she joined him in the shower, they took turns washing each other, as was their well practiced routine. Their relationship felt like it had returned to normal, as if nothing significant had happened. Kagome assumed this was mostly out of necessity, both of them emotionally drained and incapable of dealing with the complicated nature of situation. Even though her mind was buzzing with questions, her face blushing with certain memories, she was able to push past them enough to remain relaxed and comfortable with Sesshōmaru. He seemed to be doing the same.
They needed to have that discussion, though. Unfortunately, it would have to wait. They had a busy day ahead of them.
Chapter 15: Putting on the Dog
Notes:
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-HEED THE TAGS-
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*Please note, because this story is so trauma-laden, unlike my less dark stories, NO warnings will be given in the chapter summary when a chapter will contain potentially triggering content*
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Story Info - May Contain Spoilers*
Universe:
- Pre-Episode 193 Canon Compliant
Major Divergences:
- Kagome remains in the modern era instead of returning to the Warring States period after three years.
- Canon era setting altered (Kagome’s “future” time) to take place during 2011-2012 instead of 1996-2000.
- Kagome was born in 1996 instead of 1981.
Setting:
- 21st Century, Japan; Ten years post-episode 192
Tone/Genre:
- Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance, Thriller & Suspense, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Porn, Smut
Tropes:
- Sesshoumaru's Beast, Knotting, Mating Marks, Blood Adoption Ceremony, Kagome is Shippō’s Parent, Sesshoumaru is Rin’s Parent, Alpha Sesshoumaru, Powerful Higurashi Kagome, Aging Up, Hurt Sesshoumaru
Trigger Warnings:
- Rape and Sexual Assault, Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual), Child Abuse, Self-injurious behavior, Excessive or gratuitous violence, Needles, Kidnapping (forceful deprivation of/disregard for personal autonomy), Death or dying, Pregnancy/Childbirth, Miscarriages/Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Racism (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Prejudice, Slavery (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Genocide, Concentration camps (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Suicide, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Alcohol/Drug Withdrawal, Trauma, Suicide Ideation, Scars, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Alcoholism, Nightmares about Traumatic Events, Life-Changing injury, Detailed Medical Talk, Infant Death, Graphic Deaths, Mass Death, Murder, Extreme Violence, Gore, Torture, Mutilation, Cutting of Limbs, Threatening baby/child, Violence against Children, Physical Abuse, Described Blood, Graphic Violence, Drugging Someone Against Their Will, Female Oppression, Forced Breeding, Forced Pregnancy
Fandom Warnings:
- Several Major Character Deaths
- Several Major Character Undeaths
- Several Characters OOC
Published December 30, 2022 ༻❁༺ Chapter Word Count: 3,694
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putting on the dog
idiom
To make a show of wealth or elegance:
Chapter Fifteen
Kagome had been staring at Sesshōmaru for at least ten minutes as her breakfast cooled alongside her cup of morning tea, entirely forgotten in the face of… well, a face that was lacking its signature yōkai markings. It was Sesshōmaru… but it was not Sesshōmaru.
He glanced at her occasionally in between sips of his sencha, eyes flicking to her briefly before hiding a smirk behind his cup.
“Miko, if you do not blink soon I may stop trusting my senses and begin to doubt that you are an actual living creature and not a statue.”
Kagome sputtered, mouth floundering as she hid it behind her own tea cup.
“Sorry… it’s just… you look so weird.”
He scowled.
“And how is one supposed to respond to such high praise, miko?”
“Oh my Gods, I’m so sorry. That sounded awful. Honestly, I’m just shocked. It’s really strange seeing you looking so… normal.”
“That was not any better.”
Kagome laughed at herself, burying her blush behind her hands.
“I’m sorry! You’re gorgeous, okay? But I hate seeing you without the markings and cute little elf ears… and your eyes. Gods your eyes.” She swooned.
Said (abnormally brown) eyes widened as he coughed on his tea.
Kagome physically smacked herself on the forehead, slinking down into her seat and hiding behind her bowl of miso. Sesshōmaru sat up straighter, looming over the miko as he glared down his nose with a satisfied smirk… one that notably lacked the adorable fang that would typically hook on his lower lip with such an expression. Kagome sighed, sitting up straight again.
“I need more sleep.”
“No, I rather like you like this, I think. Perhaps I will begin to intentionally deprive you of your rest.” There was a playful gleam in his eye that made Kagome’s entire body flush boiling hot, sweat seeping through her pores and making her hands slippery against her soup spoon.
She groaned, mortified as she began to quickly shove mouthful after mouthful of miso down her throat before her stupid tongue was able to run away from her again.
The duo were entirely unaware of the three yōkai watching on from the living room, enraptured by the scene and looking as if they only lacked a bowl of popcorn to properly enjoy the latest episode of the Miko and the Daiyōkai.
─────•~❉✿❉~•─────
Every time Kagome glanced over to Sesshōmaru, he was assessing his appearance in the passenger seat’s visor mirror.
“I’m glad to see you’re still vain as hell, even as a human.”
“I am not a human. I merely appear to be one.” He sniffed, returning the visor to its default position and pointedly looking away from her, running blunt fingernails through his dark tresses.
“I like how you didn’t deny that you’re vain, though.” Kagome grinned when she felt his attention cut back to her, his glare seething through her skin so hotly that she didn’t even need to look at him to know there was fury etched in his features. It only made her grin grow.
Shippō was giggling in the backseat. Kagome glanced at him in the rearview, her grin stretching so wide that her cheeks hurt when she saw him snuggled up next to Ikigai, trying to muffle his laughter into the dog's neck.
When Ikigai noticed that he'd captured her attention, his tail began to wag and his head lunged into the front seat. Kagome laughed, pushing him back by his forehead.
“You know better, mister. Not while I’m driving. I love you too, though.”
Her reprimand didn't phase the pooch, he merely settled back next to Shippō, returning the kit’s nuzzles. Kagome was happy to see that Ikigai seemed to be the same source of comfort to her yōkai roommates as he had been to her, helping them heal with hugs and playtime.
Jaken liked to pretend to hate the poor dog, feigning annoyance with every face lick and nuzzle. But Kagome had seen the imp sneaking pieces of meat to Ikigai more than once, a small smile on his little green beak. Meanwhile, Hachi liked to use him as a pillow, which Ikigai enjoyed so much that he’d often end up choosing Hachi’s bed over Kagome’s. She wouldn’t lie, that one rankled a bit... While simultaneously being a relief. There wasn't much room in her bed since the daiyōkai had taken up residence in it.
Ikigai was particularly attached to Shippō, though, who clung to the Kishu Ken like he was the kitsune’s best friend. When the two weren't playing together, the dog was by Sesshōmaru’s side.
Each day, as Sesshōmaru read or watched documentaries, the pup’s head rested on the daiyōkai’s lap, often rolling over and begging for belly scritches. Kagome never could suppress the smile when Sesshōmaru happily obliged.
There was something kindred between the two, Kagome could sense it. Sesshōmaru hadn’t been exaggerating when he’d said that they had their own way of communicating–and it was fascinating to witness. She wanted to ask more about it, but, frankly, it was as unnerving as it was fascinating.
She’d never viewed Ikigai as a lesser-being. Kagome had respect for all life on a level that she couldn’t quite describe… but since finding out that yōkai were real, that humans were nowhere near the top of the food chain… she found a new outlook on animals-human or otherwise-and their relation to one another.
Ikigai was no exception. She saw him as an individual, as more than a pet. She respected his instincts and tried to communicate with him in ways he understood. Her brother often made fun of her for it, but she didn’t care. Ikigai wasn’t just her pet, he was her friend. A friend that had saved her life several times over.
So watching Sesshōmaru command her closest companion with nothing more than subtle body language and shifts in his facial expressions… she just couldn’t bring herself to inquire to the how’s. She didn’t want to know if he could actually understand Ikigai’s thoughts and feelings… and what the dog’s opinion of her might be. Or worse, if he was able to divulge Kagome’s darkest secrets to the daiyōkai.
In her first year of high school, she had assumed herself safe in the dog’s presence, freely self-harming, drinking herself into stupors, sneaking cigarettes and generally abusing her body in ways that she looked back on as one great big, long, hazy nightmare. She’d cried on the poor dog’s shoulder, he’d sat by her side as she emptied her stomach onto floors and into toilets. He’d truly witnessed her at her worst, seen her suffering in ways that no other living creature had even been aware of. Not even her psychologist knew the details of some of her darker days. But Ikigai did.
When she’d first gotten stuck on her side of the well, she was not herself. Not at all. It was years before she’d regained any semblance of the girl that she once was. Ikigai had helped her through the worst of it. She only hoped that if Sesshōmaru was capable of communicating with him with more than just primitive gestures… that her faithful friend was good at keeping secrets.
As she pulled into their destination, parking close to the playground that she was certain would become Shippō's new favorite place, Kagome became aware of Sesshōmaru’s calculating gaze on her.
He held eye contact for a beat as she met the gaze, then he squeezed her hand. She felt more naked in that moment than when they showered together, as if he were privy to her traumas, like he could see her thoughts just by the nervous shift in her scent. She forced a smile, squeezing his hand in return before turning off the car and opening her door. She helped unbuckle Shippō, much to the kit's annoyed protest.
“I’m not a baby, Mama! I can do it myself.”
“Indulge your mother, Ship. I like taking care of you.”
His face softened, turning from offended to flattered.
“Fiiiiine.” The kit folded his arms, nose in the air as he averted his gaze, one eye cracking open and peeking at her. He laughed when he found her grinning, poised to tickle him.
“Don’t do it, Mama. You’ll make me have to use yōkai speed to get away. Wouldn’t want to frighten the humans, huh?” He winked.
Kagome’s smile almost faltered. For the first time ever, she saw him as the immortal being that he was, something more than a child while simultaneously being ages away from adulthood. It was jarring, seeing the four centuries he’d lived reflected in his demeanor. Physically, mentally, he wasn’t matured… but his life experience, the things he’d lived through, it gave him something that no human child could possibly relate to. She realized then how lucky she was, how blessed she'd been to learn of the existence of such magical, majestic beings... To have had the honor of being called 'mother' by the exceptional little boy.
She suddenly felt very small in the grand scheme of things, a mouse among men... Only the men didn't see her as a mouse. Her thoughts whirled, rapidly chaining from one point to the next until it hit her like a punch to the gut...The realization that she'd likely never see Shippō so much as reach adulthood sent her spiraling with self-doubt and guilt.
Who was she to claim him as hers?
As the panic encroached, she wasn't entirely sure if that thought had been about Shippō or Sesshōmaru. She was snapped back to reality as the kitsune's small voice reached her ears, distant, pulling her from a place that she hadn't receded to in a very, very long time. She blinked her way out of the dark, her eyes settling on concerned, bright green.
“M-Mama? What’s wrong?”
She laughed, feeling ridiculous as she wiped a stray tear away.
“Nothing, sweetie. I just realized how old you are. It’s amazing, you know. You’re amazing.” He continued to stare at her, his brow furrowing further and Kagome laughed at herself again, all too aware of how weird her behavior was. She really did need more sleep. “Come on, let’s go play.”
The kit beamed at that, the awkward moment forgotten as he jumped from the car, Ikigai’s leash in hand and the attached dog bounding after him. Kagome stopped Shippō with her palm on his chest.
“Two seconds, Ship. I hate this part, but Ikigai… he’s not very friendly with other dogs. I can’t put someone’s lap-dog at risk.” She turned to Ikigai, whose ears flattened, aware of what was coming when Kagome leaned over the front seats and into the glove box. “Sorry buddy.”
She frowned as she knelt in front of him, muzzle in hand.
The growl behind her made her hair stand on end.
“You will not put that on him.”
Kagome turned to Sesshōmaru, who, despite the glamour, appeared entirely inhuman, a feral spark in his eye and vicious snarl on his lips.
“I… Sesshōmaru, I have to. He’ll be taken away and killed if he hurts someone else’s dog.”
“He won’t. I will ensure it. Miko, I will not join you if you put that demeaning…" he snarled, turning his back to her, his final declaration almost too quiet to hear. "I will not.”
She noted the tremble in his clenched fists, her eyes widening.
“Okay. Promise me you won’t let him? Please. I can’t lose him.”
“Kagome. You have my word. Throw that awful device away, please. You cannot imagine–”
“I understand, Sesshōmaru. You have my word. I’ll never use it again. I’ve never liked using it in the first place… but he almost killed a chihuahua once. I had to use my reiki in public to move fast enough to intercept. He was out for blood, though. He’d broken the leash and was bolting for the poor little thing.”
Sesshōmaru’s eyes shifted to the Kishu, who seemed to understand that the argument was about him. His head hung, ears shifting around in the way that had always made Kagome think of Inuyasha.
“He will obey me.”
Ikigai bowed his head at Sesshōmaru’s feet, as if agreeing with the daiyōkai’s declaration. Kagome’s uneasiness with their ability to communicate lessened in the face of being able to rid herself of Ikigai’s muzzle. She tossed it into a nearby trash can as the group set forth into the park.
Shippō played with Ikigai near the playground, the dog’s comparatively limited speed a reminder for the kit to keep his powers in check. Kagome sighed as she watched from a nearby bench, her arms propped up on her knees and her chin leaning on her fists.
“I can’t wait to give him a place to be himself.”
“Hn.”
“I hate that he can’t just be himself out in the open. Like he could back in the Warring States period. Humans suck.”
Sesshōmaru snorted at that.
“Not all of them.”
Her eyes slid to his, head tilting against her fists.
“Was that a compliment, m’lord?”
He smirked, sipping on his thermos of tea.
“You may assume whatever you wish.”
She playfully elbowed him, mildly jealous that his thermos remained entirely still despite the jostle she’d caused in his body. If it had been her getting elbowed with a thermos full of hot liquid in hand, she’d likely end up in the emergency room with a lap full of burns.
Not fair.
Kagome turned back to Shippō, stiffening when she noticed a man bent and petting Ikigai. Panic seized her entire body, coursing through her veins. Her feet moved of their own accord as she rushed towards them, inserting herself between Shippō and the stranger.
“Oh, hello. Is this your little brother? I apologize, I’m a photographer. I saw your dog and couldn’t resist–”
“He’s not my brother. He’s my son. Shippō, take Ikigai back to Sesshōmaru.”
“Yes, Mama.”
The man’s eyes widened, looking back and forth between Kagome and the child that appeared only a handful of years younger than the miko.
“I owe you another apology, I guess. You don’t look old enough to be a mother.”
Something about the guy was ruffling Kagome’s feather’s. She walked away rather than engage the weirdo any further. As she made to reunite with Shippō and Sesshōmaru, she called over her shoulder.
“Stay away from my family.”
She heard the guy scoff, muttering under his breath.
“Bitch.”
Kagome froze, turning on a heel, ready to land into the guy. Her tirade was lost in her throat when she’d fully turned to face him and found his eyes wide as he took a nervous step backwards. Kagome’s brow furrowed, confused until Sesshōmaru stepped between them, leveling the man with a glare that would wilt bamboo.
The stranger continued backing up, nearly tripping over the wood that bordered the playground. He turned, walking quickly and putting as much distance between them as fast as he could manage without running, constantly glancing over his shoulder.
Kagome laughed.
“Thanks. I could’ve handled it, though.”
“There was no need for you to handle it on your own. Kagome, why did his approaching the pups agitate you so?”
“I… don’t know.”
“You did not sense anything?”
“Kind of? I don’t know. He just gave me the willies.”
“The… what?”
“You know, heebie-jeebies, the creeps. He just made my hair stand on end. I didn’t like him.”
“Hn.”
Sesshōmaru turned without another word, casually making his way back to reclaim his place on the bench where Shippō sat slumped and sulking, turning Ikigai’s leash over in his tiny hands. Kagome frowned as she approached him, kneeling in front of the bench and resting her hands on Shippō’s knees.
“Hey, you. What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry for talking to the man.”
“You aren’t to blame here. He’s an adult. He knew better. He didn’t see a parent watching you and he thought he could get away with whatever he was trying to pull. Look at me, though, Shippō.” The kit sheepishly lifted his head, meeting her gaze. “Don’t ever talk to strangers without me standing right next to you. Do you understand me? If anything like that ever happens again, you call for me. In this time, adults don’t just walk up to children like that. They know what it looks like.”
His little chin wobbled.
“Hey. No, none of that. You’re not in trouble. I just want you to stay alert, okay? The world is a dangerous place…” Kagome smirked, leaning close. “And that guy didn’t know that you could kick his ass.”
Shippō returned her smirk, his façade of blunt teeth stretching into a grin. Kagome rounded on Sesshōmaru, her finger pointing accusingly in his face.
“And you. How’d you get between me and that guy so fast, huh?”
His mien remained unamused as he gently pushed her finger out of his face.
“What is it that you accuse me of, miko?”
“Using your abilities in public, yōkai.”
“I would never be so foolish, miko. There are far too many humans here. You, on the other hand, should certainly be more careful.” He smirked when her brow furrowed.“ Or were you unaware when you bolstered your movement with your ki? You moved far faster than a human should have been capable. Perhaps you should heed your own advice. Your reiki was potent as you put yourself between that human male and the kit.”
“I… I didn’t realize.” Kagome’s eyes fell to her fiddling fingers.
“None other than myself noticed, Kagome. All is well. I wonder how often such a thing has occurred in the past, however.”
“I don’t know. I didn’t even realize it happened. There have been a few times that I’ve made a conscious decision to use my ki like that–like when Ikigai’s leash broke and he tried to eat a chihuahua–but I didn’t even feel my reiki just now.”
“Hn.”
Kagome sighed, standing and offering Shippō her hand.
“Alright. Well, I think that was enough excitement for now. We should get going, I need to meet the realtor at noon.”
She looked down at herself. She was feeling insecure about her appearance after being mistaken as Shippō’s sister. It was no rare occurrence that the people around her assumed she was still a teenager. After all, physically, she was.
She hadn’t thought about dressing up or putting on makeup to go to the park… but meeting a realtor was a grown up activity. Showing up in a baggy band T-shirt and canvas sneakers while wearing the unmade, baby face that she’d been cursed with was bound to raise some questions. She frowned. None of her friends ever had to think so thoroughly about their appearance.
“Miko?”
“I need to go home and change.”
“Change?”
“My clothes. And hair. And put on makeup.”
“Why?”
“Because I look like a child. Come on.”
“Kagome–”
“Please. I don’t want to talk about it.”
The drive home was quiet, Shippō napping against Ikigai and Sesshōmaru staring pensively out the passenger side window while Kagome nervously drummed her thumbs against the steering wheel.
Once back at the apartment, Kagome stood in her closet pouting for several minutes before deciding on what to wear. She picked out a loose, white, chiffon blouse, its gently plunging v-neck purposefully accentuated by an expensive necklace that few teenagers could afford. She paired it with black, slim-legged ankle pants and white, leather oxford flats. She finished the look with a simple pair of dome stud earrings, a thin platinum cuff coupled with a navy braided leather bracelet, its palladium-plated hardware shamelessly engraved with Hermès. Kagome had long before learned that the more expensive the label, the less she was mistaken for a child.
Her makeup was simple, a well-practiced look that accentuated her features… and aged them. Eyes soft, lips bold, brows filled, cheeks contoured. She styled her bangs to blend with her center part, disappearing and giving her a more refined air. She nodded at herself in the mirror, certain that her appearance reflected the adult within.
Sesshōmaru had been tracking her every movement like the predator he was, observing her entire process. His nose wrinkled when she doused herself in the expensive designer perfume that she reserved solely for occasions that its recognizable scent would tell any that were familiar with it that she was an adult, godsdammit.
“I prefer your natural scent.”
“No one asked you.”
She harumphed as she transferred the contents of her well-loved, label-less crossbody-bag to her ridiculously overpriced designer tote–another purchase reserved solely for convincing her fellow adult humans that she was no longer a highschooler.
“You look lovely, Kagome. Forgive me. I did not mean to overstep.”
She paused, arms falling to her sides as she turned to look at Sesshōmaru.
“You didn’t overstep. I don’t like the smell, either. It gives me headaches. I don’t like any of this. No one takes me seriously when I show up to a professional setting unless I’m fully decked out, though. It’s frustrating. Sometimes I forget until something like today happens, when someone my age looks at me like I’m a child.”
“You do not look like a child.”
“Not right now–”
“Not ever, Kagome. Your womanly curves are… anything but childlike.” He stepped closer, a hesitant hand resting on the swell of her hip before gently tracing up her ribs. “Your breasts… are ample. Your body is fully developed, primed for bearing pups. You are no child. Only a fool would see you as anything but the ravishing, alluring woman that you are.”
Kagome was certain that her makeup would melt from her face if she allowed herself to remain beneath the fire in his eyes. He stepped closer, pressing his stiff erection against her stomach. He began to bend towards her, his gaze fixated on her lips.
She’d never wanted anything as badly as she did in that moment, her body burning, begging her to rise on her tip-toes and close the distance, to capture his perfectly sculpted lips and devour him until she was dizzy and he was stained with her lipstick.
Instead she nervously placed a hand on his chest, taking a step back as she swallowed thickly around her emotions.
“We should go.” Her voice was small as she averted her eyes from his, unable to watch the disappointment take hold of his beautiful features. She breathed deeply through her nose, determined not to cry away her carefully applied makeup as she ignored the lingering sensation of feeling seen.
Sesshōmaru looked at her as if he saw more than what was on the outside. No one had ever looked at her like that, like they knew what she was, who she was. She realized then that he himself appeared to barely be in his early twenties… and he was over a thousand years old.
He knew what it was like to be looked at by humans as if his appearance didn't reflect his age. He did see her. Her breath hitched. Every day she found out something new or discovered some profound detail about the daiyōkai that made him all the more appealing to her.
Why did he have to make it so damn difficult?
Sesshōmaru found himself thinking the same thing about the stubborn miko.
Chapter 16: Like a Dog with a Bone
Notes:
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-HEED THE TAGS-
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*Please note, because this story is so trauma-laden, unlike my less dark stories, NO warnings will be given in the chapter summary when a chapter will contain potentially triggering content*
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Happy New Year! Have an (angsty ><) update.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Story Info - May Contain Spoilers*
Universe:
- Pre-Episode 193 Canon Compliant
Major Divergences:
- Kagome remains in the modern era instead of returning to the Warring States period after three years.
- Canon era setting altered (Kagome’s “future” time) to take place during 2011-2012 instead of 1996-2000.
- Kagome was born in 1996 instead of 1981.
Setting:
- 21st Century, Japan; Ten years post-episode 192
Tone/Genre:
- Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance, Thriller & Suspense, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Porn, Smut
Tropes:
- Sesshoumaru's Beast, Knotting, Mating Marks, Blood Adoption Ceremony, Kagome is Shippō’s Parent, Sesshoumaru is Rin’s Parent, Alpha Sesshoumaru, Powerful Higurashi Kagome, Aging Up, Hurt Sesshoumaru
Trigger Warnings:
- Rape and Sexual Assault, Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual), Child Abuse, Self-injurious behavior, Excessive or gratuitous violence, Needles, Kidnapping (forceful deprivation of/disregard for personal autonomy), Death or dying, Pregnancy/Childbirth, Miscarriages/Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Racism (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Prejudice, Slavery (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Genocide, Concentration camps (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Suicide, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Alcohol/Drug Withdrawal, Trauma, Suicide Ideation, Scars, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Alcoholism, Nightmares about Traumatic Events, Life-Changing injury, Detailed Medical Talk, Infant Death, Graphic Deaths, Mass Death, Murder, Extreme Violence, Gore, Torture, Mutilation, Cutting of Limbs, Threatening baby/child, Violence against Children, Physical Abuse, Described Blood, Graphic Violence, Drugging Someone Against Their Will, Female Oppression, Forced Breeding, Forced Pregnancy
Fandom Warnings:
- Several Major Character Deaths
- Several Major Character Undeaths
- Several Characters OOC
Published January 1, 2023 ༻❁༺ Chapter Word Count: 4,594
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like a dog with a bone
simile
Stubborn and tenacious; persistent; relentless; dogged:
Chapter Sixteen
"Higurashi-san?” A petite woman stepped out from behind one of the office doors, adjusting her glasses as she looked down at a thick folder clutched within unmanicured hands.
Kagome had a good feeling as soon as she saw her, the woman's soul a beacon of light. The miko loved running into radiantly pure humans, the experience always a pleasant one. It instantly put her at ease knowing that the person she was interacting with was genuinely good down to their core.
The realtor grinned, straight, square teeth stretched between a set of slightly chapped lips, her cheeks rounding with the sincerity of her facial expression. She bowed deep at her waist.
"I'm your agent, Satou Reiko. It is so wonderful to finally meet with you in person."
"It's a pleasure, Satou-san. I'm eager to see what you've found for me."
Kagome returned her bow before following Satou-san into her office, Sesshōmaru close behind the two.
"Is this your husband?"
"Oh, forgive me, no, this is my… friend …" Kagome cleared her throat. "Kagengetsu-sama."
Sesshōmaru nodded to the tiny woman when she bowed to him.
"Please, both of you, have a seat."
They settled in the chairs that the agent had motioned to on the opposite side of the sleek, modern desk, watching as Satou-san spread out several printed property listings.
"Now, I know you must have been going crazy looking through everything I've sent you previously, and I know you say that none of it is quite what you're looking for, but hear me out–" The realtor shuffled through papers until she found what she was looking for, sliding it towards Kagome. "You have to understand that the likelihood of finding a property that meets every expectation is very slim. The market is undersaturated right now and when it comes to finding large pieces of land, more often than not it will be a farming property and you'll need special permission in order to even look at the full listings for that. I have found several lovely properties that are a little further out than what you were hoping, and obtaining such a large plot of land so close to Tokyo… Higurashi-san it is nearly impossible."
Kagome sighed.
"I know. I own plenty of investment properties, I understand real-estate. Trust me, I get it. I was just hoping we'd find that one hidden gem out there. I'm willing to keep an open mind, though."
The agent visibly relaxed.
"I am so pleased to hear it, Higurashi-san. Now, I don't want to get your hopes up, but I have a friend that I'd asked to keep an eye out and he has informed me that a property will be going on the market later this week. Which is why I requested this meeting. I've pulled a few strings and managed to get permission to allow you to see the property today . This is the first substantial piece of land that has come up in the last several weeks that I feel really just fits what you're looking for… with one problem."
Kagome's face had been lighting up until that last sentence was tacked on. She slumped, her exasperated huff blowing an errant strand of hair off to the side.
"What problem?"
"There is no current structure on the property."
"Oh. So I'll have to build? That's not so bad, I suppose–"
"And it is listed for several million yen above your price range."
Kagome could’ve laughed. Instead, she offered a warm, understanding nod to Satou-san.
"That's not a problem at all."
The remaining tension left the small agent's body, a genuine smile spreading along her face anew.
"Fantastic! Well, I will let the seller's agent know that you're interested in taking a look. We should head that way now, the drive is roughly an hour or so."
Kagome nodded as she stood, collecting her tote and Sesshōmaru, taking his hand as she followed the agent outside. His fingers laced with hers, thumb absentmindedly rubbing against her own as they walked.
Satou-san texted Kagome the address, which Kagome mapped on her phone as she and Sesshōmaru settled into the car. Kagome’s good feeling continued to intensify, lighting her insides up with nervous excitement. Her good feelings were rarely wrong.
So as they drove, Kagome happily blaring music that Sesshōmaru only tolerated because of the happiness that it sparked in the miko’s aura, said miko’s excitement continued to skyrocket. For the first time in several weeks, a flicker of hope incited a heavy optimism and chased away Kagome’s ever-encroaching depression, leaving her feeling light and airy. Before they knew it, the GPS announced their impending arrival. Kagome’s hands instantly grew sweaty around her steering wheel.
The private driveway seemed to stretch on forever, the span of its length lined with plum blossom trees. The entire property was surrounded by mountains in the distance. No matter which direction Kagome’s eyes fell, she found a different mountain range. It was a nice change of pace compared to the city skylines to which she was accustomed, cluttered with man-made structures. The land itself was almost two hundred acres and would cost her several hundred, million yen.
Which, if she were being honest, was a drop in the bucket of her wealth. Wealth that may have been accumulated by entirely unethical means. If there were laws to time travel, Kagome was certain she’d broken more than a few.
The habit had started small, back when she was fifteen and broke and tired of begging her mom for money to stock up on ramen. She’d bury a coin or two beneath the Goshinboku while in the Muromachi period, hop through the well, dig them up, and just like that Miroku's pocket change turned to Kagome's petty cash.
From there she'd started getting craftier, investing in buying well crafted weapons, hair accessories, even kimonos. The value would skyrocket once she unearthed the carefully preserved items in her own time. She'd spent a solid six months on the hustle, working her way up to bigger, more expensive things.
Eventually it got to the point where a local museum took notice and contacted her. When she claimed she was digging the stuff up from the property of her family shrine, the museum paid them a hefty sum to organize an archeological dig. Kagome was sure to bury a bunch of interesting stuff for them to find… far from the well. She even received an award and recognition from a youth archeologist scholarship foundation. Her picture was still hanging next to the exhibit of the archeological digs findings in the local museum.
By the time the well closed, she'd amassed millions of yen, which she promptly invested and quadrupled. Over the decade, her investments would yield a fortune and Kagome's frugal spending habits landed her on a list of top one hundred wealthiest people in Japan as well as the wealthiest woman. It had all started as security for her family, to ensure that they were taken care of if something happened to her. She'd paid off her family debts, repaired the shrine, and set up funding for Sōtas education.
She had felt guilty at first, but eventually justified that it was her payment for everything she was sacrificing for the jewel… which, at the time, she was almost certain would include her life. In the end it only cost her heart and soul.
But finding all of the yōkai in that bunker… it was like getting a refund. So many of her friends were all alive in her era. She had the opportunity to make everything right, to give yōkai a second chance. None of it would've been possible had she not thought to amass the millions and smartly invest to turn it into nearly a trillion.
As she breathed in the fresh mountain air and turned to find Sesshōmaru doing the same, a serene expression on his beautiful face, all of the guilt that Kagome had felt for the shady tactics used in garnering the beginnings of her wealth was forgotten. What she'd done had earned her and her friends their forever home.
Kagome turned to Satou-san.
“Offer the seller an extra 25% to sign the papers before this hits the market. If they don’t budge, negotiate up to 50%. I’m not losing this. It’s perfect. Get this done and I’ll double your commission.”
- ───────•°•❀•°•───────•
The evening arrived as Kagome and Sesshōmaru neared home. Kagome decided to make a detour to a long-lived unagi restaurant nestled within her favorite park. They left the car in a nearby lot and took their time walking in companionable silence down the winding paths, Sesshōmaru enjoying nature, taking in the simultaneously familiar and foreign sights.
As they approached, paper lanterns lined the trees leading up to the open gate of the munemon stationed in front of the restaurant. The edges of the walkway were layered with rough slabs of rock and small, raw boulders, sturdy, traditional stone lanterns standing vigil among them. The warm glow of dim, well placed lighting illuminated the ample, bright summer greenery, a stark contrast to the aged woods and bricks.
Sesshōmaru stared up at the building with quiet wonder, absorbing its mix of simple, traditional architecture combined with its modern renovations.
“I have seen this place. Long, long ago. It has gone through some changes, but I believe it was a restaurant that opened here in the early-to-mid eighteenth century. Fascinating. I had a friend that was very fond of their eel.”
“Well, that’s their specialty. I’m pretty sure this place has been here for a few centuries. I know it's been in the same family for several generations. Maybe it's the same restaurant that you remember.”
“Hn.”
Kagome took his hand, leading him over to the illuminated takeout menu in front of the building.
“This is one of my favorite places to eat. I’ve spent more money here than I care to admit, honestly.”
“I think I would like to partake with you this time, if you do not mind. I am feeling a very pleasant sense of nostalgia.”
“Of course. They have really fresh fruit, too. We can get bento boxes that include it. That’s what I always get. It also has tempura and sashimi. But I know you’re not a huge fan of all the human flare. They sell unseasoned grilled eel, too. Maybe you’d prefer that.”
He smiled at her, observing the concentration in her brow as she perused the menu for something that fit his taste.
“Thank you for your consideration, miko. But I think I would like the human flare this time. It was how my friend enjoyed it. I’ll have whatever you’re having.”
It didn’t escape Kagome’s notice, the way he seemed to hesitate when saying his friend . She wanted to smack herself for the ridiculous, irrational jealousy and suspicion that it invoked inside of her. She forced it to the back of her mind as they approached the entrance, the automatic doors briefly causing Sesshōmaru to stiffen. Once inside, a toy vending machine caught his eye and he inspected it curiously while Kagome ordered her usual, times two, from a traditionally dressed hostess that knew the miko by name.
The elder woman was a little too happy to see Kagome in the company of a man, ordering takeout for more than her usual lonesome self. She was glad that Sesshōmaru had been too distracted by the toy machine and crane statues to have been privy to the woman’s prying.
Once their food was packed up and ready, Kagome led Sesshōmaru to a nearby peony garden, its pathways peppered with dozens of floral patterned wagasa. They settled on some benches beneath a bamboo pergola and enjoyed their food to the soft soundtrack of a quiet summer night. The park was mostly empty, save for the occasional passers-by. Kagome took a deep breath as she cleaned up her empty to-go packaging, readying herself for the discussion she’d been dreading all day long.
The fact that it had been the most perfect day of her life didn’t make it any easier.
“So. I think it’s time we have that talk, now. I wanted to take you here just in case either of us get emotional. I don’t want our ki to upset Shippō and I don’t want to be worried about everyone else overhearing us. This place is pretty empty this time of night. I used to come here to study a lot.”
Kagome worried her lower lip. She knew where she needed to start… but the longer she had put off discussing this particular topic, the more uncomfortable bringing it up felt.
Jun .
Kagome’s close friend from high school, Ren, had met the guy in a sports medicine class and the two had been inseparable ever since, Jun quickly taking over Hōjō’s role as Ren’s best friend. After several months of Ren trying to set Jun and Kagome up, she’d finally given in and gone on a date with him.
Ren had insisted they’d make the perfect couple. After five minutes with Jun, Kagome couldn’t imagine where the hell her friend had gotten such a ridiculous idea, but every time she wanted to break off the relationship, Ren was there to encourage her to keep trying. To give it time . Honestly, he’d always played a little dirty, guilting her about making him choose between his friends.
By the time Kagome had met Sesshōmaru, she’d been unofficially dating Jun for a little over a year. He was attractive, fun, and kept her from being the only one of her friends without a date when they went on group outings. The relationship was going absolutely nowhere, though. He was nice enough, but talking to him was about as interesting as talking to a blade of grass… and more recently, he seemed to be growing possessive and showing her a side of his temper that she wasn’t at all fond of.
They had never been exclusive and Jun was incredibly popular, dating an endless string of girls, several all at once. This worked out for Kagome… because it meant that Jun was the first guy that she’d dated that didn’t pressure her for sex. He was busy getting it elsewhere. But still, for some reason, Kagome seemed to be his favorite of all of the girls that he spent time with.
Ren insisted that Jun was in love with her, that she was always the first girl he’d text when he wanted to go out. Apparently, he’d even once left his date in a restaurant without even saying goodbye to her after Kagome texted him asking if he’d like to see a movie. Kagome was more put-off by that little tidbit than flattered. She’d felt horrible for the other girl. It was the last time she’d ever asked him to do anything without at least a week’s notice.
So after obtaining an entire band of yōkai that had wound up living in her apartment, Jun was the last thing she wanted to think about. There were more important problems on her plate than some boneheaded frat boy that preferred her over his other girlfriends because she didn’t fall at his feet. He enjoyed the chase, nothing more. He would have grown bored of her in a day if she’d ever showed any sign of reciprocating his ‘interest’.
The problem was that she’d been avoiding the situation for so long that she’d basically forgotten about him… until he kept showing up, texting, or calling her… which only made her want to forget about him even more.
Then the night before, her relationship with Sesshōmaru very suddenly shifted to something new, forcing her to try and explain everything to him, a daiyōkai with very different dating customs and a worldview that was formed several centuries prior. She wasn’t sure he would understand the concept of casual dating… especially considering his species mated for life .
She figured it was best to just get it all out in the open. Honesty had always been important to her and, frankly, she was ashamed that she’d inadvertently hidden the whole Jun thing from Sesshōmaru. She never expected that he’d end up romantically interested in her, though, not until his erection was pressed against her and his lips were on her neck and… She clenched her eyes, mentally shaking the thoughts from her mind.
Kagome took a deep breath, steeling herself and forcing her gaze to his.
"Sesshōmaru… I'm sorry, I should have told you sooner. I'm sort of seeing someone."
" Seeing ?"
"Uhm… dating? Courting?"
"You… you are betrothed?"
All color drained from his face, his chest visibly rising and falling as he tried to catch his breath.
Kagome nearly choked on a strangled snort as it escaped through her nose.
"To Jun? No! No way !” She had to take a moment to physically cringe at the thought before continuing. “We've just been casually dating each other for about a year. We're not exclusive or anything… I mean, he's seeing other girls. I'm not. Seeing anyone else, I mean. Well, unless you count being naked around a daiyōkai every day… and… what happened this morning."
A laugh born from nerves rather than humor bubbled in her throat, her mouth going dry as she swallowed around the lump that seemed to have situated itself in her gullet.
"Kagome, I have been here for an entire lunar cycle and you have never once mentioned this."
"Well, it's not really all that serious. I've actually been thinking about breaking things off with him. I haven’t even talked to him since the weekend you came home with me from the bunker."
"Oh?"
Kagome missed the flicker of something in Sesshōmaru’s eye as she looked down at her fidgeting feet.
"Yeah, I'm just… I don't know. A mutual friend set us up last year and I've always felt like I had to make it work. He's kind of… dumb , though. I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall. A really pretty brick wall. And he's a good kisser. And…" She buried her face in her hands, forcing her mouth to stop spewing unnecessary details at the daiyōkai.
"But… Kagome, this morning, in the shower–"
"I know."
"Did it mean nothing to you… do I mean nothing to you?"
"Sesshōmaru, it's not like that."
"Then tell me, miko, what is it 'like' ?" The scowl on his face made her eyes water, her sinuses building with uncomfortable pressure as her chin wobbled beneath her attempts to hold in her errant emotions.
"I didn’t know that you felt anything for me, Sesshōmaru. Not until this morning and you were in so much pain… I couldn’t just ignore you. I didn’t know what to do. But I… I’m honestly not so convinced that you know what you want right now. I don’t want to get involved with you and end up hurt. I don’t want you to end up regretting us. I don’t want to lose you as a friend.”
"I do not like being accused of not knowing my own mind, miko. You cannot truly believe a word you just said. Can you not see how much you mean to me? I… Kagome you… you are my life ."
Kagome suppressed her frown. That was precisely what she was afraid of. He wasn't really in love with her , he didn't really want her . She was all that he had, literally the only female even aware of his existence. He relied on her for everything . He’d been alone for so long, in pain for centuries and she’d rescued him, she’d comforted him. It was a case of reverse Florence Nightingale. Nothing more. The thought alone made her heart clench painfully in her chest, her tears finally breaking free and streaking down her cheeks.
"Kagome? What is wrong?"
She bit back her sniffles as she avoided eye contact, guilt settling in her stomach as he took both of her hands in his, fingers tracing soothing circles against her skin.
"Nothing. I'm just…” She could sense that accusing him of being unsure would get them nowhere. She’d have to admit that she herself was also unsure. “I'm not ready for a relationship. I… Sesshōmaru, you mentioned what Inuyasha put me through so I'm guessing you at least got his side of things. What happened between us–and Kikyō – honestly, it's really just made me not want any part of relationships or dating. I've dated casually, but I don't want anything serious. Mating… that's about as serious as it gets. I've been through enough hurt. All I want is Simple. Detached. Casual."
Painless .
"We can be casual. I will refrain from marking you. Please, allow me to prove myself to you, Kagome–"
"No. Stop. Please. Don't do this to us. What we have, our friendship… Sesshōmaru you mean so much to me." Kagome wrapped her arms around herself as she began to sob. Sesshōmaru scooted closer, tilting her chin and forcing her face to his. She continued trying to avert them, her shame and embarrassment, her self-hatred and guilt overwhelming her in ways she hadn’t felt since she was a teenager. He sighed, resting his forehead against hers and whispering with his eyes clenched, his hands clutching her shoulders.
"Kagome, it is our bond. Surely you feel it? You feel me, I know that you do. When you touch me my skin is alight with flames of desire. When you look at me your eyes pierce my very being… Miko, you stir things within me that no other ever has. I was certain that I would be alone forever. Kagome do not deny our bond–"
She pulled away, not wanting to hear any of it as she stood and began to pace, nervously chewing on her thumbnail. He knew exactly what to say to make her second-guess herself.
"See? Not casual . Casual is what I have with Jun. He's currently seeing so many girls that he avoids calling us by our names because he's so nervous he'll call one of us by the wrong one."
Sesshōmaru’s face contorted, aghast.
"And… that pleases you?"
She stopped pacing to look at him, her hands falling to her sides.
"No, Sesshōmaru. It doesn't please me.” She folded her arms around herself before continuing her nervous pacing, her face tilted to the sky as she spoke, voice softening. “But I don't care enough about him for it to bother me, either. We go out, we have fun. That's it."
He scowled.
"You deserve more than just fun , Kagome."
"Oh, look. Something you and Hōjō agree on."
Her mirthless laugh was interrupted when Sesshōmaru suddenly had her body pushed against one of the pergola’s support beams, his voice a low growl against her ear as he pressed himself flush against her back.
"I tire of discussing your other males, Ka-go-me . If you desire a casual rut, allow me to be the one to provide it. I will outperform any other male–"
"Whoa, okay. Stop right there. “ He didn’t resist when she turned in his embrace, gently distancing her body from his, keeping him at arm’s length, a shaky palm flat on his heaving chest as she fought to steady her own breathing. Her thighs clenched tight to relieve the ache that had very suddenly taken up residence between them. She continued speaking once she remembered how to properly string words together.
“First of all, what happened to mating for life? Second of all, I'm a virgin. I thought I made that pretty clear?"
"I had thought as much but the way in which you speak of casual fun –"
She groaned. Plunking down on the bench and running her hands through her hair.
"I meant going to the movies or clubbing, baka."
"I see." He sighed, kneeling in front of her. "Miko, I am desperate for anything from you. My soul calls for your touch. I would do anything. If all you will give me is your ‘casual fun’, I will gladly take it. If you can give this to your inferior human male, you can give it to me. Please. We do not need to have a sexual relationship. I merely wish… I wish–”
Sesshōmaru settled back on his haunches, staring at his hands, entirely unsure of how to finish his sentence.
“You wish for me to be your mate, Sesshōmaru. And I can’t be that. Not right now. Not with everything that’s going on. I’ve only known you for a month… that being said, though, you’ve become my best friend. I don’t know what I’d do without you and I don’t want to overcomplicate this. I think we should revisit this conversation after we get the land purchased. I haven’t even had the mental capacity to process any of this because I’m so, so worried about the hundreds upon hundreds of yōkai that are still in the gods-forsaken bunker.”
She slumped over, elbows resting on her knees and her face buried in her hands.
Sesshōmaru was quiet for a moment, pensive.
“Kagome, I respect your decision, truly. I will stand by you no matter what it is that you desire from me. I do not agree with your outlook, though. If and when you are ready for me, I am here.”
“Can’t you be just a little bit less perfect, please?”
He smirked.
“How will I ever earn your heart if I do that , Kagome?”
Kagome longed to tell him that her heart was already his.
- ───────•°•❀•°•───────•
Their walk back to the car was nowhere near as pleasant, an awkward uneasiness settling between the two. Sesshōmaru had manifested Mokomoko, uncaring of how strange it looked to be draped in a fur pelt during the warm summer month. His hands carded through the fur, busying themselves throughout the trek to Kagome’s Toyota and for the entirety of the quiet drive home.
Kagome was relieved that Jaken had fed Shippō and that everyone was already tucked away in the spare room, either sleeping or watching television. Ikigai must have been with them because Kagome didn’t receive her usual happy greeting.
She didn’t feel much like she deserved one, anyways.
The duo brushed their teeth and Sesshōmaru followed along with Kagome’s quick skincare routine–save for the makeup remover– as he had been doing for several weeks. Things were still quiet and tense when Kagome closed her bedroom door behind them. They dressed in their pajamas and Sesshōmaru stood for a moment, his gaze shifting from the bed to the futon.
“May I still sleep with you, Kagome?”
“Of course you can. I don’t want anything to change between us, okay? That’s the entire purpose of just staying friends. I like how things are.”
He nodded, his expression stoic, body more rigid than she’d grown used to. Something about him reminded her much more of the daiyōkai of the past. Kagome wasn’t entirely sure that she liked it. If it were genuine, if he’d gained some piece of himself back through the heartbreak she’d undoubtedly inflicted, then she was happy for him, she supposed.
But if he was just pulling away, putting on a strong front to hide the crumbling interior, then she was more concerned than she was before. When they got in bed, Sesshōmaru was careful to stay on his own side, his back facing her, encased in Mokomoko, the pelt creating a physical barrier between them.
That was a development Kagome certainly didn’t like.
She sighed as she settled next to him. It was only natural that he’d pull away. After all, she was sure she wasn’t the only one that didn’t want to get hurt.
Kagome turned off the light.
Notes:
I know, I know. A lot of you are looking forward to the slow burn coming to an end and exploding in hot fiery flames, but listen, alright- our girl has been fucked up over Inuyasha for a decade. She'd never stopped holding out hope that the well would reopen. It's barely been a month since she finally let that hope go and started focusing on the future rather than the past. She's dealing with a lot of emotions and deep fear of getting hurt again while simultaneously having a HUGE heart and not wanting to hurt Sessy. She's in her final semester of med school, she understand the human psyche and that he could very well be attached to her because of his traumas. Finding out that he mates for life is especially terrifying to her because if she were allow him to mate her and he later realizes the feelings were false... there's no just breaking up and getting a do-over. It's a one time thing that she's not willing to risk taking from him. She doesn't know what he's gone through in the past that might've changed his opinions about humans beyond a slight softening after meeting Rin. The Sess she knows literally told Inuyasha that his blood was filthy and humans were weak creatures and tried melting her into a pile of goo. Gotta consider that when thinking of the stark contrast of this huggy, touchy Sess that doesn't wanna be away from her side. He's vulnerable and fucked up and she's well aware of it. They both need to heal a little more in order to have a healthy relationship. Things won't go so well if they continue with this co-dependency. It isn't healthy. WE WANT HEALTHY, OKAY?
That being said, I promise I'm hurrying this along as quickly as I can. I don't do slow burns and this has been difficult for me. AKA I WANT THEM TO FUCK AS BADLY AS YOU DO ALRIGHT? Alright.╔═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗
💬Discord: supsteff#0582
╚═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝
Chapter 17: Don't Let the Doorknob Hit You Where the Dog Should Have Bit You
Notes:
╔»•» 🚩 «•«═════════════╗
-HEED THE TAGS-
╚═════════════.»•» 🚩 «•«╝
*Please note, because this story is so trauma-laden, unlike my less dark stories, NO warnings will be given in the chapter summary when a chapter will contain potentially triggering content*
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Story Info - May Contain Spoilers*
Universe:
- Pre-Episode 193 Canon Compliant
Major Divergences:
- Kagome remains in the modern era instead of returning to the Warring States period after three years.
- Canon era setting altered (Kagome’s “future” time) to take place during 2011-2012 instead of 1996-2000.
- Kagome was born in 1996 instead of 1981.
Setting:
- 21st Century, Japan; Ten years post-episode 192
Tone/Genre:
- Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance, Thriller & Suspense, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Porn, Smut
Tropes:
- Sesshoumaru's Beast, Knotting, Mating Marks, Blood Adoption Ceremony, Kagome is Shippō’s Parent, Sesshoumaru is Rin’s Parent, Alpha Sesshoumaru, Powerful Higurashi Kagome, Aging Up, Hurt Sesshoumaru
Trigger Warnings:
- Rape and Sexual Assault, Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual), Child Abuse, Self-injurious behavior, Excessive or gratuitous violence, Needles, Kidnapping (forceful deprivation of/disregard for personal autonomy), Death or dying, Pregnancy/Childbirth, Miscarriages/Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Racism (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Prejudice, Slavery (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Genocide, Concentration camps (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Suicide, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Alcohol/Drug Withdrawal, Trauma, Suicide Ideation, Scars, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Alcoholism, Nightmares about Traumatic Events, Life-Changing injury, Detailed Medical Talk, Infant Death, Graphic Deaths, Mass Death, Murder, Extreme Violence, Gore, Torture, Mutilation, Cutting of Limbs, Threatening baby/child, Violence against Children, Physical Abuse, Described Blood, Graphic Violence, Drugging Someone Against Their Will, Female Oppression, Forced Breeding, Forced Pregnancy
Fandom Warnings:
- Several Major Character Deaths
- Several Major Character Undeaths
- Several Characters OOC
Published February 4, 2023 ༻❁༺ Chapter Word Count: 3,235
⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅
don't let the doorknob hit you where the dog should have bit you
idiom
Leave here quickly and directly; don't linger on your way out the door:
Chapter Seventeen
Panic seized Kagome’s chest when she awoke to an empty bed for the first time since bringing Sesshōmaru home with her. Her eyes darted around her small bedroom, expecting him to waltz out of her closet or pop his head up from his perch on the futon, a book in hand. But nothing of the sort happened. She was… alone.
She jumped out of bed, fearing for the briefest of seconds that he had never been real in the first place, that she’d had some long, beautifully tragic dream. When she saw his clothes from the previous night in her hamper and the futon rolled up near the end of her bed, she calmed a little. Kagome reached out with her aura, trying–and perhaps, failing– to keep her emotions out of it.
His answered in soothing greeting, caressing against Kagome’s turbulent reiki and instantly setting her at ease. She let out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding as she slipped her arms into her robe and made her way out to the newly-shared living space of her once-lonely apartment.
Sesshōmaru was perched on one of the barstools in front of the kitchen island, sipping tea and passively watching as Jaken showed Shippō how to make tamagoyaki–a difficult task considering the imp had to simultaneously swat Hachi’s snitching fingers away from the unfinished food.
“Goodmorning, Kagome-sama. Are you hungry? You can have the first plate if you are–”
Shippō cut Jaken’s morning greeting short with an indignant huff and accusing glare.
“Hey! I called the first plate!”
“Silence, insolent kit! Your honored mother should have the first serving.”
“That’s okay, Jaken. Let Shippō have it. I think I just want some toast today. My stomach is a little upset. Thank you, though.”
Sesshōmaru’s face briefly flickered with concern before he schooled his features, turning back to his tea.
“Are you alright, Mama?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just my nerves. Yesterday was stressful… with the realtor and all. I really want that land. I was hoping I would’ve heard something from Satou-san by now.”
Kagome huffed as she took a seat next to Sesshōmaru. She refreshed the inbox of her phone's email app one more time before shoving the phone into the pocket of her bathrobe.The stress related to the property had nothing to do with the uneasy burning sensation in her guts. No, that was more of an exciting sort of stress. What she was going through emotionally with Sesshōmaru, though, had her ready to go back to bed and curl up in a ball beneath her covers.
She couldn’t do that, though. She wouldn’t. The Kagome that got stuck on the wrong side of the well, the teenager whose heart was broken, whose mind had splintered… she would’ve done that. She wasn’t that Kagome anymore, though, and the Kagome that had been reborn from the ashes of that old, broken Kagome… she was stronger than that.
So, instead, the miko forced herself to eat some toast, drink some juice, and drag her heavy-limbed body to the bathtub. Sesshōmaru didn’t follow her… and honestly, Kagome was relieved. The shower was a place where she allowed herself to be vulnerable, to let go and have a good, healthy cry before rinsing it away and starting fresh.
She needed that.
When Kagome left the bathroom, dressed and ready for the day, she was wearing a genuine smile. At least until her phone vibrated in her pocket. She opened it with the anxious impatience of a kid on Christmas morning, hoping to see an email from Satou-san. Instead she found a text from Jun.
‘Lunch?’
Kagome stared at the single-word invitation before scrolling up through the several dozen unanswered texts from him, spanning over the course of the previous month. She sighed. It was time to put on her big-girl pants and get this over with. She texted him back.
‘Jun, I don’t think we can see each other again. It was fun but I’ve got a lot going on right now. I’m really sorry.’
She watched as the “Delivered” notification instantaneously turned to “Read”. The dots that indicated he was typing a reply appeared and disappeared several times before Kagome gave up on waiting for a response. Out of curiosity, she checked her phone an hour later. Still nothing. She breathed a sigh of relief. The last thing the miko needed was more drama and confrontation.
And then there was a knock on her door. Kagome groaned when the knocking grew more insistent. She had a pretty good idea about who she’d likely find on the other side. She didn’t even have to check the door-viewer before his voice reached her through the walls.
“Kagome, please. I know you’re in there, your car’s here. Please, I just want to talk face-to-face. You can’t just break up with me through a text. That’s low. I don’t even do that. You could at least have the courtesy–”
Kagome pulled the door open, a frown set on her features.
“Jun. My neighbors can hear you. This is embarrassing.”
“Well, you’ve been dodging me for weeks and then you hit me with a ‘Dear Jun’ text. What’d you expect?”
“I don’t know, for you to busy yourself with one of your other girlfriends?”
“Is that what this is about? Kagome, if you want to be exclusive all you have to do is ask.”
He leaned on the door-frame, armed with a charming smile and a soft touch to her cheek. “Come on, let me come in, five minutes. We can talk this out.”
“There’s really nothing to talk about, Jun. It’s not you–”
“Oh, please. You’re talking to a breakup artist. I know that line. Seriously, I just want to talk.”
“It really isn’t you, though, Jun. I have a lot going on–”
“Yeah, you said that in your text.”
“Because it’s true! Look, I’ve had to take a leave of absence from school–”
“What? No way, Miss 4.0 GPA is taking leave? This is serious. Come on.”
He pushed his way past her, walking into the apartment uninvited. She groaned when she saw Shippō peeking from the cracked guest-room door, wide, worried eyes assessing the situation. She assumed Sesshōmaru was in there with them. He’d been giving Ikigai a bath last she’d checked, but the bathroom door was open and the light was off.
She walked over and closed the door before standing in front of Jun, who’d made himself comfortable on her couch. Kagome’s arms crossed over her chest, a hard set on her brow.
“You got beer, Kags?”
“Yeah, but–”
“Grab us some and come sit with me. Tell me what’s going on.”
Kagome bit the inside of her cheek, checking her brewing temper. She just wanted him to leave.
“Jun, it’s not a good idea. You know I don’t drink anymore–”
“Who's the beer for, then?”
“Don’t start that again. I told you, I keep it in the house for guests.”
“Well, I’m a guest.”
“An uninvited one.”
“Kags, baby. Come on. Haven’t you missed me at all?”
No.
He stood and made his way to her fridge, helping himself to a beer, cracking a second one open and holding it out towards Kagome. When she didn’t uncross her arms, he shook it at her. She sighed, taking the beer and setting it on the kitchen island.
“Jun… please. I’m so stressed out right now–”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m here for. That’s what boyfriends are for, right? Come on, you can talk to me. All the more reason to have a drink, too.”
When he moved closer, caging her body in with his as he leaned against the counter at her back, Kagome ducked out from beneath his arms.
“Jun! You’re not listening! You never listen!”
“That’s not fair. I listen. I mean, what else is there to our relationship other than talking? It’s not like you let me touch you.”
“ Really, Jun?”
Kagome ran her hands over her face when she’d started eyeing the opened beer, far too tempted to break several years of sobriety.
“I can’t do this with you right now, Jun. Leave.”
Jun’s face contorted as he stared past Kagome.
“Seriously? Are you fucking kidding, Kagome? A year, an entire fucking year wasted on you without so much as sexting and you’ve got some guy walking around half-naked in your apartment?”
Kagome’s eyes widened when she turned to find Sesshōmaru, clad in nothing but his human façade and a towel hanging low around his waist, leaning on the doorframe of her bedroom.
“And he’s in your bedroom. I’ve never even seen your bedroom! Ren said you were a prude, but you’re not, are you? You’re just a fucking tease. No wonder you didn’t want me in here. Fine. We’re over.”
Kagome snorted at that.
“I think I said that over an hour ago.”
“Fuck you, Kagome.”
“The answer is still ‘no’, Jun.”
He seethed before turning and finally leaving Kagome’s apartment, slamming her door behind him. She promptly locked it before turning back to Sesshōmaru and barking out hysterical, uncontrollable laughter.
“I can’t believe you did that!”
“Hn. Well, you were right. He does not listen.”
Kagome covered her face as she laughed into her hands. When her eyes rested on the beer again, she let another sigh slip past her lips.
“Hachi, come drink this beer.”
The guest-room door creaked open and the tanuki was at her side in an instant, happily nursing the open bottle.
“With pleasure, Kagome-sama. I must say, I was relieved that Sesshōmaru-sama intervened when he did. I was finding it hard not to act myself.”
“Thank you. I’ve never been very good at dealing with unwanted advances.”
Kagome’s brow furrowed when Sesshōmaru abruptly turned and retreated into her bedroom, slamming the door behind him.
“Sorry, Hachi. I’ll be back. Jaken, can you make Ship some lunch?”
“Oh, yes! Right away, Kagome-sama!”
“Mama, are you okay?”
“Yes, Ship. Don’t you worry about me.”
She ruffled the kitsune’s hair as she made her way to her bedroom, knocking on the door to announce herself before opening it. She found Sesshōmaru already dressed, still wearing his concealment charm.
“What was that, huh?”
“A petty reaction to your words, I suppose. You certainly had no trouble dealing with my own unwanted advances.”
“Don’t be like that.”
“It is the truth. You handled yourself very well when rejecting me. Perhaps you should try being as honest with others.”
Honest. Right.
Kagome suppressed a scoff.
“Listen, you don’t know what you’re talking about. I get that I hurt you, I probably deserve the distance, even the hostility… but please, don’t act like you know what I’m thinking or judge me for how I handle myself. Jun… is not easy to reject. He’s aggressive. He doesn’t like hearing ‘no’ and honestly, he makes me nervous. I’m able to talk to you because I trust you, because you listen. My openness with you was earned.”
His arms were suddenly around her, holding her close to his chest.
“Forgive me. I should not have reacted that way. It was… difficult, to see another vying for your attention. You did not seem as eager to reject it from him.”
“I wasn’t eager to reject it because I was afraid of what would come from that rejection. Like I said, Sesshōmaru, I trust you. I know you wouldn’t hurt me. If I didn’t want you touching me right now, saying it would be enough–” He moved to pull away, and Kagome laughed, pulling his arms back around her. “See? I posed a hypothetical and you were willing to respect that I might want distance. Not everyone is like that. Especially not Jun, okay?”
“I see.”
Kagome sighed, nuzzling into Sesshōmaru’s embrace, eyes closing when his nose began to trace soft circles on the crown of her head. When she pulled away and looked up into deep brown eyes, dark hair curtaining them, she giggled. Her hands moved of their own volition, tracing his unmarked cheeks. His eyes closed as he pressed a cheek into her palm, his own hand resting on top of hers. Kagome sighed again.
“Rin would tell you to stop sighing before you sigh all of your happiness away.”
Kagome smiled, genuine happiness stretching her features for the first time that day.
“That’s adorable.”
“Rin was adorable.”
“Yes, she was.”
Kagome rested her head against Sesshōmaru’s chest, rubbing soothing circles into his back. She could feel the weight that settled on him at the thought of the girl he’d claimed as his daughter.
“We need to go to the bunker, Sesshōmaru.”
“I am aware.”
“I’m tired.”
“I am aware.”
She groaned, separating from the daiyōkai’s embrace and plunking down on her bed.
“I need to go to the shrine. Do you want to come?”
“What for?”
“I have to make onenju from the Goshinboku. I should’ve kept the beads from the sealing ones that I already removed from you and the others so I could reuse them for subjugation necklaces. I’ll get them when we go back tomorrow. I want to have enough on hand, just in case. I’m not going to ask anyone to stay in that horrible place. We need to be prepared to use them on that daiyōkai.”
“I see. I would like to accompany you, yes.”
“Great! I’ll see if the others want to come.”
It took some convincing, but Jaken finally agreed to join everyone else, if only so he didn’t have to remain in the apartment alone. He was, however, quite pleased with the added height that his concealment charm gave him… even if it wasn’t all that much. Shippō had played another prank, Jaken’s bracelet transforming him into a realistic version of one of the kit’s favorite anime characters–a character that he’d been teasing Jaken over for weeks, since the character consistently shouts about ‘not being short.’ His face was affixed with a broody scowl by default, the character being a perfect stereotype of the classic tsundere. He stood just shy of 150 cm, had a slightly tan complexion, golden-brown eyes, and a long, blonde braid, his face framed by shaggy bangs. Kagome sighed as she stared at the imp, who was supposed to be blending in… and most certainly stood out.
Jaken was pleased with the look, despite the kitsune’s ribbing. Hachi had transformed himself into what he’d deemed a perfect male specimen, stealing and combining features from several popular idols. Kagome preferred Shippō’s and Sesshōmaru’s concealments, which stayed as close to their natural appearance as possible while blending in with human society. She supposed that was harder to do for an imp and a raccoon dog.
After a long back and forth, the group decided that they would stay with Kagome’s family while she and Sesshōmaru went to the bunker the following day. They weren’t sure how long they’d be camping there and leaving the yōkai to their own devices could lead to trouble. They weren’t accustomed to the modern world yet and while they’d ordered takeout a few times, none of them had left the apartment for more than an hour at a time… and Jaken had yet to leave at all. Staying at the family shrine would give them access to human help while Kagome was away. So, Kagome packed the three smaller yōkai some overnight bags and the whole group piled into her Toyota, Ikigai included.
Hachi became obsessed with the radio, taking over Kagome’s phone to shuffle through music until he found something he liked… much to Sesshōmaru’s displeasure. Hachi’s taste was… energetic. Everyone but Sesshōmaru was pleased with his choices, though, so the daiyōkai was overruled. He tried to make the claim that Ikigai was also dissatisfied, but even then, the inu were outnumbered… and Kagome wasn’t entirely convinced that Sesshōmaru was being truthful. Ikigai seemed perfectly happy, tongue lolling as always, head hanging out the window.
Sesshōmaru couldn’t get out of the car fast enough when they finally pulled up to the shrine. He seemed surprised when Shippō’s hand slid into his, swinging his arm as he skipped up the steps at the elder yōkai’s side. Kagome’s heart warmed when the daiyōkai’s expression softened, his fingers visibly giving the kit a gentle squeeze of encouragement.
After introducing everyone and getting the greetings out of the way, Kagome went and settled at the base of the Goshinboku where she set to work on carving beads from the tree’s fallen branches. Her chest was tight, as it usually was when in the presence of the tree. She used to go there to talk to Inuyasha when she was at her worst, wishing he could hear her, that they could connect through time. Of course, they never did. Not after the well closed itself permanently.
“I do not mean to pry, Kagome, but your aura–”
“It’s just the tree. It always stresses me out. Don’t worry about it.”
“Of course, I should have realized.”
Sesshōmaru settled at her side, gaze drifting to the shrine’s courtyard where Sōta was teaching the other yōkai how to play soccer. Kagome looked up from her work to find Sesshōmaru frowning.
“I don’t mean to pry, Sesshōmaru… but your aura–”
“Very funny, miko. It is just… Kagome… your family seemed to accept Shippō quite easily, even in his true form.”
“Yeah… why do you say that like it's a bad thing?”
“Why did they not extend the same courtesy to me?”
“Oh… Sesshōmaru. Don’t take that personally. Gramps… I think Gramps is on good behavior because of what happened the first time we visited. Plus, Ship is a kid. But Mama and Sōta I think were… apprehensive because of the things Inuyasha had said about you. That’s all. We’ll just have to show them who you are.”
“They think that I am a monster.”
Kagome sighed.
“You’re hung up on that word. You wanna talk about it?”
“No.”
“Alright. Well, if you ever do, I’m here. In the meantime… just know that I don’t think you’re a monster. I think you had flaws and you worked to better yourself. I think you’re strong, and kind, and caring. I think you’re a good alpha–”
“Why would you say that?”
“Because you are. Especially with Shippō. Inuyasha’s methods were… harsher. It was hard to respect the way he handled things sometimes. You, though… all it takes is a few words and your presence, like the day that Shippō mouthed off to me over not wanting to eat his veggies.”
“You view me as alpha of our pack?”
“Of course I do. Who else? You fall into the role naturally.”
“Kagome… I cannot tell you how much that means to me.”
“I didn’t even think anything of it. Sesshōmaru, you’re an alpha male, an apex predator. You’re probably the most powerful thing on this planet right now. Just because you’re going through some shit doesn’t mean you’re any less strong. Okay?”
“Hn.”
“Hmm.”
Kagome smiled, ribbing the inu with an elbow as she leaned against his shoulder. The duo fell into companionable silence as Kagome kept at her task. Sesshōmaru eventually removed his concealment, black hair slowly growing and inverting in color, spun silver pooling around him as he sat at Kagome’s side.The miko smiled when the daiyōkai began carefully carving beads with his claws. The sun set on Higurashi shrine, a peaceful ending to an incredibly tumultuous day.
Notes:
Thanks for reading <3 Apologies for my lack of replies on stories and whatnot. Been a difficult month and my inbox overfloweth. WHICH MAKES ME VERY HAPPY, BTW... I'm just taking my time in responding ;-;
Also apologies for slow updates. WORKING THROUGH THE WRITER'S BLOCK AYAYA⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅
╔═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗
💬Discord: supsteff#0582
╚═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝
Chapter 18: Dog's Breakfast
Notes:
╔»•» 🚩 «•«═════════════╗
-HEED THE TAGS-
╚═════════════.»•» 🚩 «•«╝
*Please note, because this story is so trauma-laden, unlike my less dark stories, NO warnings will be given in the chapter summary when a chapter will contain potentially triggering content*
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Story Info - May Contain Spoilers*
Universe:
- Pre-Episode 193 Canon Compliant
Major Divergences:
- Kagome remains in the modern era instead of returning to the Warring States period after three years.
- Canon era setting altered (Kagome’s “future” time) to take place during 2011-2012 instead of 1996-2000.
- Kagome was born in 1996 instead of 1981.
Setting:
- 21st Century, Japan; Ten years post-episode 192
Tone/Genre:
- Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance, Thriller & Suspense, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Porn, Smut
Tropes:
- Sesshoumaru's Beast, Knotting, Mating Marks, Blood Adoption Ceremony, Kagome is Shippō’s Parent, Sesshoumaru is Rin’s Parent, Alpha Sesshoumaru, Powerful Higurashi Kagome, Aging Up, Hurt Sesshoumaru
Trigger Warnings:
- Rape and Sexual Assault, Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual), Child Abuse, Self-injurious behavior, Excessive or gratuitous violence, Needles, Kidnapping (forceful deprivation of/disregard for personal autonomy), Death or dying, Pregnancy/Childbirth, Miscarriages/Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Racism (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Prejudice, Slavery (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Genocide, Concentration camps (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Suicide, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Alcohol/Drug Withdrawal, Trauma, Suicide Ideation, Scars, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Alcoholism, Nightmares about Traumatic Events, Life-Changing injury, Detailed Medical Talk, Infant Death, Graphic Deaths, Mass Death, Murder, Extreme Violence, Gore, Torture, Mutilation, Cutting of Limbs, Threatening baby/child, Violence against Children, Physical Abuse, Described Blood, Graphic Violence, Drugging Someone Against Their Will, Female Oppression, Forced Breeding, Forced Pregnancy
Fandom Warnings:
- Several Major Character Deaths
- Several Major Character Undeaths
- Several Characters OOC
Published February 5, 2023 ༻❁༺ Chapter Word Count: 5,205
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dog’s breakfast
idiom
something or someone that looks extremely messy, or something that is very badly done:
Chapter Eighteen
It was strange, going back to the empty apartment–just Kagome and Sesshōmaru. They'd left the others at the shrine late that night, opting to head home and wake up early to leave for the bunker. Sesshōmaru was struggling with his newfound determination to remain independent of Kagome. He was very obviously trying to refrain from following at her heels, but every time she left his line of sight his aura would grow nervous and panicked. He no longer had the others as a buffer, not even Ikigai. Kagome was regretting not staying at the shrine with them for the night… but they had to part ways at some point. The situation was inevitable, she supposed.
Her chest clenched painfully with the way Sesshōmaru desperately tried to hide the panic in his aura every time she stood from the couch. Kagome had eventually just stopped doing anything that required her to leave him alone–if he wouldn’t follow her, she would just stay with him. When she’d found herself holding a full bladder for a solid forty-five minutes, though, she'd finally decided to try putting the whole "communication" thing into practice again. She turned to Sesshōmaru, weary, golden eyes meeting hers as she leaned forward to face him.
“Sesshōmaru...It can’t be like this. There’s no one here but us. Please, just… I have to pee. Come stand near the bathroom.”
“I… I am fine, Kagome.”
“No, you’re not. I respect that you’re trying to be… but forcing it is only going to make things worse. You’re allowed to take the time to heal, Sesshōmaru. This is just silly. Besides, I miss you. I got really used to having you by my side all the time.”
“I do not like being apart from you.” He averted his eyes as he made his admission, and Kagome smiled, taking his clawed hand in hers.
“I don’t like it, either. So let’s stop, alright? Things were perfect the way they were. You don’t have anything to prove to me. Do you remember when you asked me not to leave you alone? When you told me you felt safe with me?”
“Of course I remember.”
“So, then, you remember that I told you I wouldn’t leave you alone again? You’re making me break my word. Don’t make me leave you alone, please. Not until you’re ready to be alone. It’s great that you’ve been managing to feel okay with the others around, that you can separate yourself from me. You’re doing so good and I’m so proud of you for trying so hard. But you don't have to do this alone. You never have to be alone again.”
“I just want to feel like myself again. I do not know this weak… pathetic–”
“Hey!” Kagome stood, bending with her face close to Sesshōmaru’s, a finger poking his chest for emphasis. “The Lord of the West would’ve kicked your ass for talking about him like that. Since he’s not keen to defend himself right now, I’ll do it for him. You, mister, are strong. To have survived what you did…I think that you’re amazing, Sesshōmaru. How dare you call yourself weak and pathetic. You’re fantastic. Don’t you forget it. Now, come on, I’m going to embarrass myself if I end up laughing and peeing my pants.”
“Is… is that a common human ailment?”
“Laughing or peeing my pants?”
“Nevermind. I do not wish to hear the answer.”
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When Kagome and Sesshōmaru got into bed that night, the daiyōkai once again took his comfort in holding the miko close.
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Yet another 200 km drive from Tokyo to Gunma Prefecture found the miko and her daiyōkai companion pulled over on the side of the road, preparing to follow the potent pull of ki saturating the area. The sun was especially hot that day, even though it had only risen roughly two hours prior. Kagome’s body was exhausted. Not even her endurance training could keep up with the physical and mental stress she’d been putting herself through for weeks on end. The hour trek through the woods to the bunker was feeling especially daunting that morning. Fifteen minutes into the hike and the miko felt like her legs were going to give out.
As if sensing her fatigue, Sesshōmaru quite suddenly halted Kagome by her wrist before dropping to a knee in front of her.
“What are you doing?”
“Get on my back before that feeble ningen body of yours collapses.”
Kagome scoffed.
“My body is not feeble. I’ll have you know–”
“Miko.”
She sighed.
“Fine.”
When his arms hooked around Kagome’s thighs, she felt a pang of painful nostalgia. Sesshōmaru must have sensed it, because suddenly she was cradled to his chest, instead, her legs draped over one arm, head resting against his shoulder. He also seemed to notice her intent to question him, cutting her off before she had the opportunity.
“This way makes me feel less like an ox.”
She cocked a skeptical brow at him.
“Right.”
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Forty-five minutes later and the duo were once again setting up camp nearby the familiar stream. Kagome’s nerves started settling in shortly after, time to confront the daiyōkai running loose in the bunker drawing nearer and nearer still.
“Kagome, you know I will not allow any harm to come to you.”
“Mmm, promises, promises. You also said you’d stop poking around in my emotions.”
She cut him with a playful grin, which only grew when he rolled his eyes at her. Those little moments with him–when he became open, playful, when he allowed her to see behind the carefully curated mask–they were Kagome’s favorite. She placed a hand on his arm when he moved to retrieve his hiking pack. Once she had his attention, she nervously bit her lip before speaking.
“I know. I hope you know I’d never let anything happen to you, either.”
She had been half-expecting him to laugh at her–as if a daiyōkai needed her protection. Instead, his features softened, hand raising from his side as if to reach for her before pausing mid-act. Trembling fingers retreated back to their place at his side before he offered her a wry smile.
“I know, miko.”
He turned, shouldering his hiking pack. Kagome did the same. No more words were exchanged until they stood outside of the daunting reiki-sealed entrance of the bunker.
“Alright. So, from what I’ve felt of this guy’s aura, he’s… well, really sad. And really unstable. His mood is all over the place. If he reacts violently please, please try to just give him time to calm down. There’s no telling how long he’s been awake in this place all by himself. I can’t even begin to imagine how lonely it is in there. He seems to really pace himself with draining the lesser yōkai, too–like he doesn’t want to kill.”
“Or he is wary of hastening the inevitable, that if he consumes them too quickly, he will eventually run out of his food source.”
Kagome scowled.
“Always the pessimist.”
“I prefer realist.”
“Yeah, yeah. Anyways, are you ready?”
“Before we enter, mask your presence, miko. Allow me to approach him first. He may be distrustful towards someone wielding reiki. If you wish to avoid confrontation, it is best you do not engage with him until we have a better understanding of his motives.”
“That’s a good idea. Alright. I’ll stay a few steps behind you.”
“Very well. Open the door, then.”
Kagome did, and Sesshōmaru stepped through into the dark corridor beyond. He moved deeper into the prison's hallway, waiting for the door to seal before sending out a tendril of yōki, seeking the rogue presence. It embraced his aura in greeting, and almost instantly a familiar figure stood before Sesshōmaru. Kagome’s eyes widened as she quietly took an extra few steps back. She was surprised when Sesshōmaru greeted the daiyōkai with friendly familiarity.
"Hoshiyomi… my old friend. How is it that you are here? I had thought that your mate betrayed you many centuries ago."
"No, brother. She did not betray me. It was a misunderstanding. She had tried to save me from myself… but in doing so she… she…"
Hoshiyomi tensed, eyes, fangs, and fists clenched as he tried to hold in his emotions. Kagome switched her flashlight on as she stepped forward, unmasking her aura and finishing the story for him.
"She died. She depleted her spiritual energy while sealing him and the Naginata of Kenkon that he had commissioned from Kaijimbo. I killed you. How are you alive?"
"You."
Hoshiyomi hissed the word like an accusation, eyes narrowed. Sesshōmaru had him pinned to the wall before he'd managed to complete his advancement on the miko.
"My old friend, do not force me to do something that we will both regret. If you lay one finger on my mate I will be the only one of us surviving to bear the burden of said regret, do you understand me?"
Hoshiyomi growled.
"Sesshōmaru I thought more of you than tying yourself to–"
"Tread lightly." The inu’s hold tightened in warning, stoic mask remaining firmly in place. Hoshiyomi took a few tentative sniffs in Kagome’s direction, brows furrowing with his findings.
“Mate, you say?” Sesshōmaru’s responding growl made Kagome’s hair stand on end. “Hnn. Touchy subject, I suppose?”
Kagome sighed, choosing to ignore the title Sesshōmaru had ascribed to her and the subsequent jabs thrown by the other daiyōkai.
"What exactly do you have against me, Hoshiyomi? You're the one that abducted me. I was only defending myself. We gave you every opportunity to do the right thing."
He paused, his expression contemplative, almost embarrassed as he averted his eyes. Even in the limited lighting, Kagome could see the flush coloring his cheeks beneath his markings.
"I… I do not truly know. Forgive me. Perhaps… perhaps I have behaved irrationally."
“Perhaps?” Sesshōmaru nearly scoffed as he released Hoshiyomi, his body continuing to hover protectively between the rival daiyōkai and the miko.
"I will not harm her, Sesshōmaru. You have my word. I… believe my spirit may have retained some negative emotions. Your mate once told me truths that I did not want to hear. She is right, yet again… I have no reason to resent her."
"What is it that occurred between the two of you in the past?"
Kagome sighed when Sesshōmaru’s gaze pointedly landed on her, clearly seeking her version of events, likely distrusting Hoshiyomi’s.
"It’s a long story, one that ends in his death by my Sacred Arrow and Inuyasha’s Backlash Wave. He still hasn't answered how he's here."
"My Tsukiyomi. She resurrected me.”
“How? She was dead… Oh, oh no. Not her, too.” Kagome frowned as her gaze shifted from one daiyōkai to the other. “She had spiritual powers, Sesshōmaru.”
Hoshiyomi answered the miko’s question, despite her having obviously drawn her own conclusion.
“I did not have enough time with her to ask questions… there are still so many that remain unanswered. Forgive me if I cannot provide you with the ones you seek. She merely cast a protective warding upon me and asked that I kill as many of the humans that were guarding this place as I could manage… and then she left.”
Kagome’s eyes widened. That meant both Tsukiyomi and Hoshiyomi were responsible for saving the yōkai of the bunker from the torment being inflicted upon them by their captors. She watched as Hoshiyomi’s mind drifted, chest heaving, his aura growing chaotic. Kagome frowned as the once incredibly powerful ninja daiyōkai struggled to control his emotions, to organize his thoughts.
He was far thinner than when she’d last met him, entirely lacking muscle definition, his appearance closer to that of the undead than a demon. He was draped in the tattered remains of a yukata, the skin beneath marred with what Kagome could only describe as stains, as if the dirt had made itself permanent within his pores. His movements were skittish, almost rat-like, a feral gleam to his eyes flashing between his sentences. Hoshiyomi’s mannerisms were erratic as he continued to speak just a little too quickly, his voice pitched and strained.
“I did as she bade, forcing them to abandon the building when they could not subdue me. I expected them to return with more forces. I was prepared to fight until my death… Instead, they seemed content to allow the inhabitants here to just… rot. The fiends.” He snarled, pacing and running a clawed hand through his oily, green tresses. After a moment, his agitation seemed to subside, pacing coming to an end, cadence evening as he alternated holding eye-contact between Kagome and Sesshōmaru. “I could not open any of the cells. A lone miko entered the building several moons after my resurrection. I observed as she spent countless days returning and working here, opening each cell and placing a strange, powerful talisman around every single yōkai's neck. I do not know what purpose these talisman served but over the decades, none died of hunger or thirst. I assume the mysterious miko and her talismans were to thank for that."
"It’s a sealing spell. It keeps them in stasis."
"It was you, wasn’t it? I suspected as much."
Kagome’s brow furrowed with worry, dread settling in her stomach. It wouldn’t be the first time she was the victim of mistaken identity… and fear of the answer made her hesitate to even ask.
"Why do you think that?"
"Because your aura–wait–hnn…" his ki probed her, confusion settling in his gaunt features. "No. No, it is different. When I first saw her… I was so certain. But seeing you now, no. It was not you. So similar…"
Kagome sighed.
“Please, please don’t tell me she smelled like graveyard soil?”
“She… she did.”
Kagome’s teeth clenched, hands trembling in tightly balled fists as tears welled in her lash-line. Sesshōmaru, seeming to sense her distress, hovered closer, a hand resting against her shoulder-blade.
“Whoever resurrected her, disturbing her rest … again… I swear I’ll send them straight to hell. She doesn’t deserve this. Thank the gods for her, though, or all of these yōkai would be dead…Sesshōmaru– you’d be dead!” Kagome sobbed as she turned, throwing her arms around the inu and shocking him into inaction. It took a moment for him to rest his hand on the back of her head, running soothing strokes from crown to nape.
“Shh, miko. I am here. Calm yourself. Can you clarify what you mean?”
“I… I knew the reiki in the onenju was familiar. That the sealing spell… it was hers. It was Kikyō. She’s back again. She saved you all when the people who ran this place abandoned you here like… like trash!” Kagome’s aura spiked dangerously as the rage welled within her chest. “I’ll kill them. I’ll kill them all.”
Hoshiyomi’s laugh sobered the miko from the uncharacteristically dark place where her thoughts were trailing.
“My, my, Sesshōmaru. Your mate is a fiery one. I see your draw to her.” Hoshiyomi smirked as he eyed the pair. “I will assist you in your plans for revenge. It is what Tsukiyomi wanted, it is why she brought me back. If she has been resurrected, I will find her. Surely she is paying dearly for what she did here… if she remains alive, that is.”
“If she’s alive she can’t stay that way, Hoshiyomi–”
The daiyōkai snarled, briefly moving to advance before recomposing himself beneath Sesshōmaru’s watchful gaze, claws twitching at his sides as he trembled with restraint. Despite the clear agitation, his tone was even, strong as he made his declaration.
“You will not harm her.”
“She… she would have to be using the souls of the dead to maintain herself… It’s not natural–”
“Who are you to decide such a thing, to deprive her of life? You have no right, miko. I will die protecting her if she remains on this plane.”
“I–”
“Kagome. We do not even know by what means these humans have been resurrected or how they remain. Let us not worry over such things when we are operating without full understanding of the situation.”
“Yeah… but, he should at least be prepared, Sesshōmaru. I don’t know how she resurrected him– he’s clearly a living, bleeding being–but if he smelled graveyard soil on Kikyō, she’s been resurrected in the same way she was before. To keep living she was stealing souls to animate her body! Stealing them! It wasn’t right. If there are even more humans being sustained like that… Sesshōmaru they can’t stay alive, stealing the souls of the dead. It’s wrong.”
“Please, miko-sama, I beg you. I understand your concern… but she is my mate. I have not been able to reconcile my mistakes, to make things right. I wish to hold her, to love her again. Please, please do not act hastily if you find her.”
Kagome stared wide-eyed at the daiyōkai when he dropped to his knees and pressed his forehead to the ground at her feet. Before she could even plead with him to get up, Sesshōmaru had stepped forward, a hand resting on the prostrating daiyōkai’s back.
“Hoshiyomi, please, do not disgrace yourself so. Kagome is a rational being. She would not needlessly slaughter your mate. It will all be well, I am certain of it. She has saved so many. She will find a way to save your mate.” Sesshōmaru settled on one knee in front of his friend, placing his hands on Hoshiyomi’s trembling shoulders and hoisting him up, both daiyōkai rising to their feet. “Let us reconvene back at camp. I am sure you long for fresh air.”
Hoshiyomi laughed, wrapping a thin arm around Sesshōmaru’s shoulder as they made their way towards the entrance of the bunker.
“Oh, my brother. You are not wrong. This place has a foul stench. It has cloyed at my nerves. I do not even know when my darling resurrected me or how long I have remained here. I long for sunlight.”
“I assure you, I understand.”
Hoshiyomi sucked air through his teeth.
“Ah, Sesshōmaru. I am afraid you may understand all too well. I sensed you on that lower floor, alone. So many times I tried to break through those doors to free you from such hell. Forgive my weakness, my inability–”
“Do not be a fool. Only one with spiritual powers was capable.”
“Yes, that is why, when your miko came here and fled to the lower level to free you, I did not dare make my presence known. I recognized her immediately and was afraid she would keep us both sealed in here. She seemed keen enough to free you, so I remained in the shadows.”
Kagome cleared her throat, causing both males to pause in their steps.
“Uhm, sorry to interrupt, but I think Hoshiyomi should probably… …erh… replenish his strength before we leave the bunker.”
Hoshiyomi’s head tilted, confusion furrowing his forehead.
“She means to say that you should consume an adequate amount of yōki while we have access to it.”
“It seems so cowardly to drain trapped, sleeping creatures. I would prefer to hunt.”
“Oh… Hoshiyomi. I’m so sorry. The world we live in, now…” Kagome worried her lip, stepping closer to settle a hand on Hoshiyomi’s shoulder in a gesture of comfort, well-aware that the news she was about to break would be catastrophic for the daiyōkai. “There are no yōkai in this time. There hasn’t been for a while. Humans think you’re a myth.”
Hoshiyomi’s knees seemed to buckle as he sought support from the hallway’s cinder-block wall. His eyes were almost comically wide, pupils near-non-existent. His lips parted several times before he devolved into hysterical laughter as he slid to the floor, legs crossed beneath him.
“I am in hell. This is karma. I tried to rid the world of humans and died trying… to be resurrected to a world in which human have successfully rid the world of yōkai. Draining the last of my kind feels even worse, now. I would prefer to die of starvation.”
Sesshōmaru stepped in front of Hoshiyomi, commanding his attention as he spoke.
“Do not be a fool. Drain them without killing.”
“And allow them to remain in a state of weakened suffering? How will they recover? By feeding on other yōkai? What is the point?”
Kagome had been stunned silent throughout his reaction. She’d expected him to be shocked and upset, but to choose death over taking the lives of the few known-remaining yōkai was shocking. Especially considering he’d survived for so long. She sighed.
“Look, Hoshiyomi, we’ll figure something out eventually, okay? I’m not going to let everyone starve to death and I’m definitely not letting all of the lesser yōkai become fodder for the rest. But there’s going to be some yōkai in this place that just can’t be let loose, that won’t have the intelligence to mind subjugation beads. It’s sad, it sucks, but you guys need to stay healthy. Sesshōmaru, you’re probably way overdue for some yōki as well, yeah?”
“Hnn.”
“Okay, so, Sesshōmaru’s definitely going to– consume yōki. I promise, they’re not going to suffer. Sesshōmaru said his mind went blank, he didn’t even remember the onenju being put on him. I don’t think that the yōkai can feel anything in their current states. Just don’t kill them and, eventually, I’ll figure out how to replenish their strength. Who knows, my miko abilities might even work with healing them. Right now we need to take one step at a time. The current step is getting you out of this place and we can’t do that without making sure you’re healthy enough to survive.”
Slowly, he seemed to be coming around. Kagome could still sense his hesitancy, though, so she decided to play dirty.
“If Tsukiyomi was resurrected and employed in the place and she ended up resurrecting you and asking you to kill the people here… I’d say she’s being held against her will and being forced to do things that she doesn’t want to do. We need all of the daiyōkai we can get if we’re going to help those like Tsukiyomi. If not for the yōkai in this place, do it for her.”
His entire expression had softened for several seconds before resolve took hold of his features. He stood, seemingly re-motivated by the thought of his mate suffering in any way.
“Very well, miko. You have made valid points. Shall we start on the first sublevel? The yōkai there are the weakest. In the event that you cannot heal them… it is perhaps best that we do not injure stronger yōkai that will be capable of helping in our efforts.”
“My thoughts exactly. Okay, yeah–there’s also two extremely hostile yōkai on the first floor that need to be… eliminated. Drain them completely. I can’t release them, they’re too dangerous.”
“I see. Do you know the way or shall I lead?”
“You can lead. I’m going to look at my maps while we walk and try to figure out which other yōkai… can’t be released.” Kagome frowned at the thought. She huffed as she followed the daiyōkai duo down the hallway and a flight of stairs, headlamp illuminating her backpack as she rummaged through it for the binder she’d put together. It was filled with smaller photo-copies of her large, hand-drawn maps. Her fingers traced the upper floors, seeking out weaker yōkai that had malevolent auras.
Hoshiyomi and Sesshōmaru continued to converse as they slowly made their way to the main cell block of sublevel one.
“The door was left open several times while the miko and I were last here. Why did you remain?”
“I… feared that it was a trap. At least within the bunker there was a food source and I held the advantage. There are only two entrances to this place and I have obstructed one of them. There is no way that I could be ambushed while within these walls.”
“Why did you not approach me, then? Surely you did not think that I was aiding the humans that created this place?”
“Certainly not by choice, no. I had hoped to catch you coming in alone. You were always accompanied by the miko, though. And… I am not too proud to admit my fear. I was afraid of death or, worse–losing hope that I would ever be freed from here. I did not want to end up within one of the cells. As I mentioned–I was unsure of your miko’s regard for me. She did kill me, after all.”
“Hey! You deserved it!” Kagome had been quietly trailing behind as she studied her maps. Hoshiyomi released a self-depreciative chuckle when she joined the conversation.
“You are not wrong, miko. I was possessed, enraged, unable to let go of the festering hatred from what I thought to be a terrible betrayal at the hands of my mate. Foolish.”
Kagome felt a pang of guilt settle in her stomach… yet, still, she didn’t feel like she could trust the daiyōkai. She didn’t have much time to ponder it, though, as they finally arrived at the entrance of sublevel one. Hoshiyomi continued to guide them until he came to the gate separating the group from the main cell-block.
“Hoshiyomi, you’ve fed from this level a lot, haven’t you? There are… a lot of empty cells in these outer halls.”
“Yes. They were unintelligent creatures.”
“Is there a way to open the gate? It isn’t reiki-sealed.”
Hoshiyomi nodded as he retreated through a doorway. Peeking inside, Kagome could see what looked like a small control-room. The daiyōkai pressed a button and the gate opened. He spoke as he strolled out of the control-room and confidently through the open gate, leading them down what was clearly a very familiar hallway to him.
“Most of the floors have this same design. I cannot speak to the layout of the lowest levels. I do not even know how many floors lie beyond the stairwell after the first nine. Its entrance is sealed with reiki. I have never been able to breach it.”
Kagome mumbled her response as she glanced from her map to the cell numbers within the hall.
“There are four sublevels beyond the reiki-sealed stairwell. It’s where the more powerful daiyōkai are kept.”
“I had assumed as much. I recognized Sesshōmaru’s aura quite far beneath the stairwell.”
“He was on the very bottom floor. Okay, here. This cell.” Kagome stopped, bidding the daiyōkai to do the same. “Alright, so, this guy… you feel it, right?” She gestured to the cell that she was standing in front of, the aura within sending goosebumps across her body. Hoshiyomi stepped forward, placing a hand against the surrounding wall as he spoke.
“Yes. That is… hm. I do believe you were right. It seems primitive. I doubt there will be any reasoning with it. Its jaki is… impressively volatile for such a weak creature. It feels nearly infectious, as if it taints the world around it.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. My aura purifies it so I wanted to be sure. It’s dangerous, though. Drain that one fully. The one in cell number…” She hummed low in her throat as she paused to peek at her map again. “Cell number 24, on the upper block, too. There’s a ladder–”
“Yes, I know.”
“Right, of course, sorry.”
Kagome sighed, turning to walk away, unwilling to watch the process–despite her curiosity. The curiosity would wait to be satisfied until they were draining yōkai without actually killing them. Unfortunately, trying to get lower-sentience, carnivorous yōkai with violent auras to understand the modern world and abide by its rules–even with subjugation beads–would be like trying to convince a panda bear to stop eating bamboo. It may be for the good of the species, for their survival–but they had no way of understanding that. As much as Kagome wished she could set them loose, it would only lead to chaos. Since the daiyōkai needed yōki to survive, this seemed like an unfortunate, tragic solution to two very big problems.
It took over two hours for the group to sift through the bad auras, all the way down to the ninth sublevel. Kagome was fascinated watching Hoshiyomi slowly recover, more and more of the daiyōkai she’d met in the Warring States period replacing the frail one she’d found that day. After they’d finished dealing with the hostile yōkai, they started draining small amounts of yōki from several lesser-yōkai on the first two sublevels. Kagome monitored for distress as they did it, pleased to find there was none. The yōkai felt slightly weaker, but they all remained undisturbed in their stasis.
With both Hoshiyomi’s and Sesshōmaru’s strength fully replenished, it was time to finally head back to camp. As they approached the entrance, Kagome turned to the newest addition to her growing collection of yōkai, that uneasiness still hanging heavy in her stomach.
“I… I don’t know if I can release you, Hoshiyomi.”
Sesshōmaru’s eyes cut to hers, wide.
“Kagome–”
“No, Sesshōmaru. I don’t know how you know him, but when I had my run-in with him, he wouldn’t stop going on about how weak humans were and how much he hated them. His goal was to purge the world of us. He tried to with that cursed naginata.”
Sesshōmaru’s gaze slid to Hoshiyomi, whose own eyes were filled with such sadness that Kagome had to fight to hold onto her conviction. She’d seen that sadness back then, too, and the daiyōkai had still chosen revenge over his own life.
“I suppose he is one of the yōkai we must bind with onenju, then?”
Kagome frowned, nodding.
“I’m sorry, Hoshiyomi. If you’re really remorseful, if you’ve really changed… but I can’t just unleash someone as powerful as you out into the world.”
“I understand, miko-sama. I will abide whatever boundaries you deem necessary. Please… do not leave me in this place.”
“No! I would never! I just meant that I couldn’t let you go–”
“I would have nowhere to go if you did. I do not even know the year.”
Kagome sighed as she took off her hiking pack and began rummaging for the onenju she’d made, emerging with one in hand and holding it out for the daiyōkai’s inspection.
“Now, this is a rosary. I’m going to bind you with my powers. If you misbehave, it’ll subdue you at my will. If you try anything really, really awful… Hoshiyomi… it’ll purify you. I promise to never, ever use this unless you give me a reason to, okay?”
Hoshiyomi’s eyes had widened at the mention of purification, but he hesitantly nodded. With his consent, Kagome infused the beads and bound the daiyōkai beneath their power.
“When you prove yourself trustworthy, I’ll remove them.”
“I will do everything in my power to prove myself to you, miko. Starting with an apology for my previous attempts on your life.”
Kagome sighed.
“It’s alright, I’m used to everyone trying to kill me. Seems I have that effect on people. Anyways, let’s get you out of here, huh?” Kagome smiled as she clapped a hand on Hoshiyomi’s shoulder before turning and unsealing the entrance, leading the two daiyōkai out into the sunlight.
Chapter 19: Hangdog
Notes:
╔»•» 🚩 «•«═════════════╗
-HEED THE TAGS-
╚═════════════.»•» 🚩 «•«╝
*Please note, because this story is so trauma-laden, unlike my less dark stories, NO warnings will be given in the chapter summary when a chapter will contain potentially triggering content*
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Story Info - May Contain Spoilers*
Universe:
- Pre-Episode 193 Canon Compliant
Major Divergences:
- Kagome remains in the modern era instead of returning to the Warring States period after three years.
- Canon era setting altered (Kagome’s “future” time) to take place during 2011-2012 instead of 1996-2000.
- Kagome was born in 1996 instead of 1981.
Setting:
- 21st Century, Japan; Ten years post-episode 192
Tone/Genre:
- Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance, Thriller & Suspense, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Porn, Smut
Tropes:
- Sesshoumaru's Beast, Knotting, Mating Marks, Blood Adoption Ceremony, Kagome is Shippō’s Parent, Sesshoumaru is Rin’s Parent, Alpha Sesshoumaru, Powerful Higurashi Kagome, Aging Up, Hurt Sesshoumaru
Trigger Warnings:
- Rape and Sexual Assault, Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual), Child Abuse, Self-injurious behavior, Excessive or gratuitous violence, Needles, Kidnapping (forceful deprivation of/disregard for personal autonomy), Death or dying, Pregnancy/Childbirth, Miscarriages/Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Racism (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Prejudice, Slavery (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Genocide, Concentration camps (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Suicide, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Alcohol/Drug Withdrawal, Trauma, Suicide Ideation, Scars, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Alcoholism, Nightmares about Traumatic Events, Life-Changing injury, Detailed Medical Talk, Infant Death, Graphic Deaths, Mass Death, Murder, Extreme Violence, Gore, Torture, Mutilation, Cutting of Limbs, Threatening baby/child, Violence against Children, Physical Abuse, Described Blood, Graphic Violence, Drugging Someone Against Their Will, Female Oppression, Forced Breeding, Forced Pregnancy
Fandom Warnings:
- Several Major Character Deaths
- Several Major Character Undeaths
- Several Characters OOC
Published February 6, 2023 ༻❁༺ Chapter Word Count: 2,903
⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅
hangdog
idiom
(of an expression on a face) unhappy or ashamed, especially because of feeling guilty:
Chapter Nineteen
Hoshiyomi froze when his bare feet touched the grass, his entire body shaking as he fell to his knees and began to sob. Kagome could feel the shame and humiliation radiating from the daiyōkai in potent waves within his aura.
“Sesshōmaru, can you give me a minute alone with him?”
“Miko–”
“Please?”
She turned to the inuyōkai, her expression exasperated and pleading to match her tone. He nodded once before disappearing into the nearby treeline. She knew he was likely still within earshot, barely beyond the wall of trees, but at least it would give Hoshiyomi the illusion of privacy so that he could allow himself to feel. Kagome settled on her knees in front of the crying yōkai, her hands rubbing soothing circles between his heaving shoulder-blades.
“Hey, I know this must be so overwhelming–”
“I never thought I would get out. So many times I thought of ending my life. Memories of Tsukiyomi have been the only thing tethering me to this world, miko. I do not even know my purpose without her. I have remained, guarding this place in the event that the humans that she had begged me to kill might return. What do I do now? How can I leave this place unprotected–”
“No, no. You don’t have to guard it anymore, Hoshiyomi. These yōkai are under my protection now. You’ve played your part. You did what Tsukiyomi asked of you and because of that, because of the two of you…and Kikyō… you all managed to save the lives of thousands of yōkai, even Sesshōmaru. You helped to give all of the yōkai in the bunker a second-chance at life.”
“N-not all of them… I have killed–”
“You did what you had to do. I’ve been watching you for weeks, ya know. I know you felt me once or twice.”
“That was you? The warmth?”
“Mhm.”
“Why?”
“Because you were in pain. I was mapping the prison through meditation and…your aura… it cried out a few times. I worked non-stop to get those maps finished so I could get you out of there.”
“The warmth… thank you. Thank you. It was the closest thing to contact with another that I had experienced since my resurrection.” He slumped, folding in on himself, forehead pressed to the ground. Kagome increased the intensity and pace of her touch against his back, lengthening the strokes and adding more pressure as she softly offered words of encouragement.
“It’s okay. Everything is going to be okay.”
Eventually, she pulled him into a hug, trying to ignore the smell and feel of decades of grime as she draped one arm around his hunched form, the other arm stroking her fingers through his greasy, sage tresses. The miko spent several minutes attempting to comfort the daiyōkai as he rocked back and forth in her embrace, his soft sobs slowly growing quieter. Eventually, he fell silent, his body expanding as he breathed in a deep lungful of air before sitting up in perfect seiza, his appearance as lordly as he could manage under the circumstances.
"I think I would like to bathe.”
Kagome blinked a few times, surprised by the abrupt shift in his mood. She only nodded, wiping the dirt from her leggings as she stood.
“Can you stand?”
“I can manage, thank you.”
“Alright.” The miko suppressed the need to sigh as she turned to Sesshōmaru, who had emerged from the treeline. “Sesshōmaru, will you take Hoshiyomi to the stream? I’m going to get the bath stuff and some of your clothes.”
The inuyōkai’s face was unreadable, but there was a certain bite to his tone that made Kagome feel uneasy.
“Will you be assisting him?”
“What? No… not unless he needs me to. I think he’ll be fine on his own, though. Maybe you can stay with him. If he wants, I mean. I’m just gonna help him get set up.”
“Hn. Come, Hoshiyomi.”
The two daiyōkai parted ways from the miko as she set off towards camp, taking her time as she walked. Truth be told, she needed a moment to herself. Hoshiyomi’s mental state stirred up a lot of emotional turmoil within her. Kagome was nauseated, lightheaded, her chest tight. Tears brimmed in her eyes every time she imagined being completely and totally alone for seventy years. Even if time moved differently for an immortal, that was an obscene stretch to spend by oneself… especially in the dark. He didn’t even have a way to differentiate the time of day, no method to measure the passage of time. She wasn’t sure she would’ve been able to survive such conditions for very long.
Kagome was also overwhelmingly conflicted. It was hard to put aside her memories of Hoshiyomi and offer comfort to a being that had once caused so much grief amongst her and her friends. It felt weird to touch him, to extend kindness. For him to so readily, eagerly accept the kindness–from a human, no less-was even more bizarre. It was one thing to be so liberal with her affection to Sesshōmaru, even in the beginning. She'd watched him change over the year she'd spent hunting the shards, seen his progress, his growing compassion. He'd gone from trying to take her life to saving it more than once. Her only experience with Hoshiyomi was a negative one. She tried to take Sesshōmaru's opinion of him into account, though. If he trusted the daiyōkai, then she would try to as well. It was just... exhausting.
She imagined having to go through that process with every yōkai yet to be released, having to work to soothe them through their traumas. How could she do that when she had barely healed from her own? Kagome was starting to realize that she might not be fully-equipped to deal with what was to come. Especially not without help.
She took a moment to breathe and tend to her neglected human needs–hydrating, engulfing a granola bar, relieving her bladder–before gathering clothing and bathing supplies for Hoshiyomi. As she approached the stream to deliver the items to Hoshiyomi, Sesshōmaru intercepted, relieving her of her offerings.
“He is already bathing. I will bring these to him.”
“Make sure you explain which soap is used for the body and which ones are used for hair.”
“I can manage, miko. Go rest.”
She certainly wasn’t going to argue with that.
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
When Sesshōmaru and Hoshiyomi returned to camp, they found Kagome dozing with her back against a tree, the bento-box she’d packed for lunch emptied and abandoned in her lap. Her eyes sleepily blinked open, a soft chuckle escaping through her lips when she found two several-centuries old daiyōkai dressed in modern clothing, standing amongst modern camping equipment. Sesshōmaru raised an eyebrow in question, but Kagome offered no answer. She only stood and began to break down their campsite, eager to get back to her apartment. They had initially planned to spend the night, but with as smoothly as things had gone, Kagome found herself wanting nothing more than to gain distance from the heavy, oppressive aura of the prison.
“Let’s go home.”
She was glad that Sesshōmaru agreed without question. He nodded as he began to help her pack, Hoshiyomi doing his best to follow suit. Considering he was unfamiliar with most–if not all–of the items around the camp, he mostly spent his time gathering things and handing them to Sesshōmaru. Kagome was relieved not to have the burden of her hiking pack, Hoshiyomi having shouldered it as soon as they started the trek back to her car. She was sorely tempted to ask Sesshōmaru to carry her again... but she also wasn't going to admit that her body was, in fact, feeling exceptionally feeble.
Traffic was a little heavier than usual on the road where Kagome’s Toyota had remained parked. Hoshiyomi growled as they approached, fangs bared, reddened eyes darting to track the movements of the vehicles.
“It’s okay! Sorry, I should have warned you.” Kagome rubbed her eyes with the heels of her palms, beyond fatigued. She grew weary in the face of yet another thing that she would need to do over and over and over again. How many times would she have to explain what cars were? To relay hundreds of years worth of human development to an ancient being? She took a cleansing breath before settling a reassuring hand on Hoshiyomi’s shoulder. His eyes returned to their normal slate-blue, lids blinking rapidly as he forced his gaze from the road.
“They’re cars. It’s how humans travel in this time. We’re going to be in one for a few hours. I’ll explain more on the way home. We should get going, though. It’s getting late. I promise, there’s nothing to be afraid of.”
He intoned a noncommittal grunt before following Kagome and Sesshōmaru to the car. Kagome had hoped–especially since Sesshōmaru and Hoshiyomi seemed to be friends–that the inuyōkai might take over with at least a few of the explanations. He remained quiet, though–almost alarmingly so. She hadn’t seen him so impassive, so icey since she’d found him in her era. His gaze was fixed on the sky beyond the window as Kagome went through the same explanations she’d given him just a month before–what the GPS was, whose voice was directing them, and warning of the types of sights, smells, and sounds to expect.
At this rate, I should make an orientation video.
Her eyes widened at the thought. That… actually wasn’t a bad idea. Or at least a booklet of some sort. She sighed. One more task to add to her ever-growing to-do list.
Kagome didn’t bother turning music on for the ride home. Her head was pounding from all of the stress… and the silence was more than welcome.
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
When Kagome had first arrived back at her apartment with Sesshōmaru, Hachi, Jaken, and Shippō roughly a month prior, she had been sure she would never again experience such relief at the sight of her home. How wrong she’d been. When she walked through the door with Hoshiyomi and Sesshōmaru, the comforting smell of tea leaves, candles, and organic cleaner made her want to drop to the floor and hug it as soon as she’d crossed the threshold. Instead she plunked her belongings on it before giving her new houseguest a tour, her own needs once again shoved to the back-burner as she showed Hoshiyomi around. She offered him Hachi’s bed for the night since the tanuki and the rest of her yōkai roommates were still at the shrine. For the first time in a while, she was glad that her apartment was so small. The tour didn’t take too long and, fortunately, Sesshōmaru had finally stepped in–apparently eager to show Hoshiyomi some of his favorite documentaries. As Sesshōmaru taught the other daiyōkai how to navigate the TV in the guest-room, Kagome made good use of the shower. She wasn’t sure how long she’d remained sitting in the bottom of the tub, the hot water beating down on her back as she hugged her knees to her chest, her forehead resting on them, but she remained until the water ran cold.
When she finally made it to her bedroom, wanting nothing more than to bury herself in bed, she was surprised to find Sesshōmaru sitting by himself, his futon pulled close to the window as he stared at the sky.
“Sesshōmaru? Are you okay?”
He didn’t turn to look at her as he spoke, his voice cold, detached.
“I have mistaken your kindness for affection.”
“What?”
“You behave the same with Hoshiyomi as you did with me. I had thought… the way in which you touch me–”
“Sesshōmaru! Is that why you’re so upset?”
He was suddenly standing in front of her, height imposing… yet, somehow, he seemed smaller than he’d ever seemed before.
“Of course it is! I have been such a fool, holding onto hope despite you telling me very clearly that I am nothing to you!”
“I never said that!”
“You held him as you held me. It is pity. Your heart is too kind and I… I have allowed it to lead me to believe that what we have is more than what it is.”
Kagome’s jaw trembled. She’d been waiting for this moment, the part where Sesshōmaru would realize his draw to her was nothing more than an emotional attachment to the person that comforted him when he needed it. She never expected him to blame her, though, and his tone was nothing short of accusatory.
“I’m sorry.” It was all she could muster. She couldn’t tell him that she was falling more in love with him with each passing day, that when she touched him her entire world lit up, that electricity ran through her fingertips any time they came into contact with his skin. She couldn’t tell him that extending kindness to Hoshiyomi was not the same as what had grown between the two of them, that he was wrong. If she did, it would only reinforce his unhealthy attachment to her. She was brought out of her own inner-turmoil when Sesshōmaru sighed.
“No. I am sorry. What a burden I must be–”
“Please, stop. You’re not a burden.”
“Will you touch Hoshiyomi as you have touched me? Will all of the male yōkai that we release find the same pleasure beneath your hands?”
Kagome staggered back, barely able to see him through the blur of her brimming tears.
“Y-you can’t actually believe–”
“What else should I believe? You caress him in the same manner, hold him. What was it to you, to have touched me as my mate would? If it was not meaningful, then surely you will do the same for him when the need arises.”
“It’s different, Sesshōmaru. Your situation is unique–”
“No, I do not think it is. Perhaps Hoshiyomi will not suffer these memories of mine. He was never actually imprisoned within that place, he was never…” Sesshōmaru’s jaw clenched as he turned away from Kagome, taking several heaving breaths before continuing, omitting whatever it was he was on the verge of unburdening. “But what of the others that we will release? If they suffer the same affliction, surely you will relieve them?”
“No!”
He growled, rounding on her again.
“Why? Why touch me, then?”
“I… I just didn't want you to be in pain–”
“I am in pain. I am aching. Your heart is so kind that you feel compelled to touch my cock with pity, and me, desperate as I am, pathetic as I am–”
“Stop.”
"I tell only the truth."
"Your truth is warped! You don't know what you're talking about! I'm going to bed. I'm exhausted. Please... just... sleep on the futon tonight. We'll talk in the morning."
His face morphed into a scowl.
"Require your bed for Hoshiyomi, do you?"
"What the hell, Sesshōmaru? Seriously-go to sleep!"
It wasn't until he plunked down on his futon that she'd noted the unsteadiness in his posture and the several empty bottles of saké on the floor. She made no comment as she got into bed, but knowing it was mostly alcohol talking to her had put her mind at ease a little… and certainly explained a lot. She had been guilty of causing the ones she loved verbal harm while under the influence on more than one occasion. She wouldn't fault him, even if he believed there was truth in his words. It didn’t make it hurt any less, though.
Kagome had been tossing and turning for an hour, fighting back tears. When she turned over to find Sesshōmaru staring at her, their eyes locked. He crawled to the edge of the bed, taking her hands in his and resting his forehead on top of them.
"Forgive me. You did nothing to deserve such horrible treatment."
"Shh. It's okay. Get in bed."
The daiyōkai slid beneath the covers and shrank into Kagome's embrace, gladly accepting his role as the little spoon.
They both finally fell asleep.
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
Kagome had awoken early to find Sesshōmaru missing from bed. It was still dark out, the coming-dawn barely breaking through the window blinds. She followed the sound of hushed voices to the bathroom, where the door remained open, lights illuminating the space within
“Hoshiyomi you must cease this at once! You will wake Kagome–” Sesshōmaru’s attention snapped to the miko when she approached the door, an exasperated sigh leaving his lips. Hoshiyomi was huddled in the bathtub, rocking back and forth and murmuring to himself.
Sesshōmaru shook his head at her, as if to say he could handle it. She nodded as she backed away from the room. Kagome continued to back away until she was by the front door, sliding her feet into a pair of sandals before stepping outside.
Kagome remained beneath the rising sun, nagging thoughts and concerns rolling around in her mind. She leaned against the hood of her car as she stared at her phone, truly considering the potential ramifications of what she was about to do. She took a deep breath before navigating to her contacts and tapping his name.
“Higurashi?”
“Hōjō-kun? Remember when you said I could come to you if I needed help?”
“Which time?” Hōjō’s laugh echoed into her ear through her phone’s speaker. “Of course, Kagome. You know I’m always here for you.”
She took another deep breath.
“I need help.”
Chapter 20: Like a Dog with Two Tails
Notes:
╔»•» 🚩 «•«═════════════╗
-HEED THE TAGS-
╚═════════════.»•» 🚩 «•«╝
*Please note, because this story is so trauma-laden, unlike my less dark stories, NO warnings will be given in the chapter summary when a chapter will contain potentially triggering content*
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Story Info - May Contain Spoilers*
Universe:
- Pre-Episode 193 Canon Compliant
Major Divergences:
- Kagome remains in the modern era instead of returning to the Warring States period after three years.
- Canon era setting altered (Kagome’s “future” time) to take place during 2011-2012 instead of 1996-2000.
- Kagome was born in 1996 instead of 1981.
Setting:
- 21st Century, Japan; Ten years post-episode 192
Tone/Genre:
- Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance, Thriller & Suspense, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Porn, Smut
Tropes:
- Sesshoumaru's Beast, Knotting, Mating Marks, Blood Adoption Ceremony, Kagome is Shippō’s Parent, Sesshoumaru is Rin’s Parent, Alpha Sesshoumaru, Powerful Higurashi Kagome, Aging Up, Hurt Sesshoumaru
Trigger Warnings:
- Rape and Sexual Assault, Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual), Child Abuse, Self-injurious behavior, Excessive or gratuitous violence, Needles, Kidnapping (forceful deprivation of/disregard for personal autonomy), Death or dying, Pregnancy/Childbirth, Miscarriages/Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Racism (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Prejudice, Slavery (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Genocide, Concentration camps (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Suicide, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Alcohol/Drug Withdrawal, Trauma, Suicide Ideation, Scars, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Alcoholism, Nightmares about Traumatic Events, Life-Changing injury, Detailed Medical Talk, Infant Death, Graphic Deaths, Mass Death, Murder, Extreme Violence, Gore, Torture, Mutilation, Cutting of Limbs, Threatening baby/child, Violence against Children, Physical Abuse, Described Blood, Graphic Violence, Drugging Someone Against Their Will, Female Oppression, Forced Breeding, Forced Pregnancy
Fandom Warnings:
- Several Major Character Deaths
- Several Major Character Undeaths
- Several Characters OOC
Published February 7, 2023 ༻❁༺ Chapter Word Count: 5,478
⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅
like a dog with two tails
simile
Very happy and excited:
Chapter Twenty
Kagome was still leaning against the hood of her car, smoking a cigarette for the first time in almost a decade. When her neighbor had settled in the nearby designated smoking area of her apartment complex and lit one up… she found herself wanting. She chewed on her nails, leg bouncing as she stared longingly at the devilish vice. Her gaze was drawn from the cigarette to the guy’s eyes when he laughed.
“Want one?”
Oh. He just had to ask.
So there she found herself, eyes closed as she indulged in the habit she’d kicked while she was still a teenager. She’d regret it later, she was sure. But in the moment it was helping to soothe her frazzled nerves.
Kagome’s eyes slowly opened when she heard Hōjō sigh. He pulled the lit cigarette from between her lips and tossed it on the ground before stepping on it.
“That bad, huh?” He clapped a comforting hand on her shoulder.
“You have no idea.” She buried her face in her hands, lifting it seconds later when the sensation of being watched washed over her skin. She found herself glancing at her bedroom window, where she met the sad gaze of two golden eyes. “Come on, Akitomo, let’s go inside before I cause more problems.”
“Using my first name? This is serious.”
He patted her on the back before the two made their way into the apartment. Sesshōmaru was guiding Hoshiyomi to the couch just as Kagome and Hōjō were removing their shoes. Hoshiyomi’s eyes widened, flicking from Sesshōmaru to Kagome.
“Another human? You said it was not safe–”
“You can trust this one, Hoshiyomi. This is my very good friend, Hōjō Akitomo. He’s a medical professional–like me–a healer. But he specializes in healing minds. I needed him to come over and help me with something. He knows yōkai exist. He’s not a threat, okay? Are you comfortable with him being here?”
The daiyōkai nodded, leaning a little deeper into Sesshōmaru’s hold on him.
“Alright, good. Are you okay with this, Sesshōmaru?”
“I suppose I have no objection if you require his presence.”
Kagome breathed a sigh of relief. Hōjō clapped his hands together, his smile bright as he took a seat on a zabuton, hands folded on the tea table in front of the couch.
“Hello! It's good to see you again, Sesshōmaru-sama. And very nice to meet you, Hoshiyomi-sama. You can call me Hōjō or Akitomo. Now, I did come here to speak with Kagome, but she also asked me to offer my services to you both. I'm aware you come from a very different era–one where tending to one's mental health was likely not regarded as masculine, perhaps viewed as a weakness. Frankly, mental health issues are still quite stigmatized–but we've certainly come a long way. We also understand a lot more about the brain… erh, at least when it comes to humans. I can’t imagine that we’re all that different, though." Hōjō paused, nervous laughter leaving his lips as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Regardless, I’ll do my best to help. Kagome and I both wanted you each to know that we’re here for you and we want to help integrate you into this new world as smoothly as possible.”
“And how would you be of assistance, human?” Sesshōmaru’s posture straightened, chin defiantly tilting towards the ceiling.
“Well, like I said, we’ve learned a lot about human brains. I spent four years studying Human and Social Sciences, after which I moved on to a specialized degree in psychology–the study of the mind–which took two years. I just recently finished the final step in my education–obtaining a doctoral degree. That was a three year program. So, altogether, I’ve spent nine years studying brains. I know them pretty well, I think. And while I can’t speak to the differences between yōkai and humans, I can tell you that psychology can be applied to non-human species and I am more than willing to understand and adapt my methods to fit your needs.”
“You did not answer my question.” The inuyōkai’s face was impassive, but Kagome could tell he was intrigued. He’d read enough of her medical textbooks to be at least a little impressed by Hōjō’s qualifications… which is why she’d told her friend to open the discussion by listing them. She had also told him to address them both with the highest respect–pressing the importance of pride to daiyōkai, especially Sesshōmaru. He’d been vulnerable with her, but she was well-aware that he was deeply guarded in matters of perceived weaknesses. Kagome was glad to see Hōjō not intimidated by the two highly-intimidating presences seated before him. His smile hadn’t faltered a single time.
“I suppose you’re right, Sesshōmaru-sama. Forgive me. Well, psychology is mostly a lot of talking, listening, analysis, and strategizing. My job-title is often better known as a ‘therapist’ or a ‘counselor’. As a lord, I’m sure you’ve had experience with advisors or counselors, right? People that you perhaps delegated to, that you trusted to obtain knowledge that you didn't have time to obtain yourself. I assume they advised you in matters of ruling, and you likely would often heed their advice for the benefit of the health of your lands and the well-being of the citizens that inhabited them… so think of me as an advisor for your health and well-being. You would talk, I would listen, we would devise a strategy that works for you, one that will help you heal. It’s not a requirement to take my advice, the final decision is always up to you. But that’s what I’d be there for, to help you see the options available so you can better make decisions.”
“Hn.” Intrigue flickered in Sesshōmaru’s gaze. His attention shifted to the daiyōkai at his side. “Hoshiyomi, how do you feel about this?”
“While I cannot say that I have pack-instincts such as yours, Sesshōmaru, I will admit that I was accustomed to a rigorous level of structure and hierarchy within my life... before. While I was also accustomed to being at the top of said hierarchy, I’m aware that your strength outweighs my own. If I am to remain here, I am to become part of your pack. I leave this decision to you. If you think it best that I submit to this, then I will do so.”
Kagome watched Sesshōmaru’s features nearly falter, a light reaching his eyes before he quickly schooled his mien.
“Very well, then. As my beta, you are expected to set an example for the rest of the pack-as am I. If I expect Jaken and the kit to submit to this, we must as well.” Sesshōmaru stood, fixing his regard firmly back on Hōjō–whose smile had continued to endure. “Hōjō. I will accept you as advisor to me and my pack. There are several yōkai among us who are struggling to adapt to this world and overcome the difficulties faced in arriving here. I am certain many more will join us. Kagome cannot be expected to deal with this by herself. If she has asked for you to offer assistance, I trust her judgment that this is the best course of action.”
Kagome’s own features faltered at that, her eyes watering. It hit her, then, that he was likely putting his pride aside… for her. She smiled, a genuine smile for the first time since arriving home. Her focus moved back to Hōjō, who had hopped to his feet to deeply incline his body into a saikeirei bow to Sesshōmaru. He didn’t speak until he’d straightened.
“I’m happy to be of service, Sesshōmaru-sama. There are several ways we can do this, but I think it’s probably best to start with one-on-one sessions, supported with a bi-weekly group session so everyone can gather and understand what each… uhm, pack member… is feeling and share their own feelings as well.”
“I find this acceptable.” Kagome was surprised when Sesshōmaru’s upper-torso bent forward slightly, offering Hōjō the most formal respect she’d ever seen him extend to another, let alone a human. Hōjō’s grin widened.
“Great! Well, then, I guess all that’s left is to talk with you, Kagome, and then I’ll just go settle things with the clinic.”
“I think I’m okay, Hōjō. Why don’t you go take care of things at the clinic, first?”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. There’s no rush on this, either. Get your current patients sorted out.”
“Alrighty, then. Since I just started there, it shouldn’t take too long. I’ve barely even established any patient-relationships.” Hōjō moved towards the door and started putting his shoes back on. “And, Kagome?”
“Yeah?”
“No more cigarettes. You’re almost a doctor. You know better.”
She sighed.
“Yeah, yeah. Cut me a little slack here.”
Unaware of the yōkai’s heightened hearing, he leaned closer to Kagome.
“I just don’t want to see you relapse. We worked hard to get you where you are. The smoking is a gateway back to more serious vices. You know this. You call me if those urges start up again.”
“Hōjō… I’m fine. Also, you should know–whispering is totally pointless. Yōkai senses are heightened. I’m not entirely sure about Hoshiyomi, but Sesshōmaru is inuyōkai. He can hear better than Ikigai.”
Hōjō’s face flushed crimson.
“I’m so sorry–”
“Don’t, it’s fine. Just thought you should know.”
He rubbed his neck uncomfortably before patting Kagome’s shoulder.
“Okay. Take care of yourself, Higurashi.”
“You, too, Hōjō-kun. And… Hōjō? Thank you. For everything.”
“Of course.”
His smile was bright again as Kagome gently closed the door behind him. Hoshiyomi released a long sigh.
“Kagome-sama, I feel I owe you an apology. I did not mean to wake you so early. I was... disoriented.”
“Don’t apologize, seriously. I get it… Probably a lot better than you’d think. While I can’t imagine what either of you have been through, I’ve been through a lot of darkness myself. It’s hard to function in the light afterwards, ya know? That’s why I finally called Hōjō. He helped me through my darkness. I thought he could help everyone in that bunker with theirs. He’s a natural at what he does.”
“What did you mean when you told him to ‘get his current patients sorted out’?”
“Oh… well, I erm… may have offered him a job working for me. He’s giving notice to the place he works now and then he’s gonna help me organize some sort of introductory pamphlet… or video… or something, anything that’ll make it easier to help yōkai transition without my human errors getting in the way. Something that will help them understand what cars are, how technology has advanced, everything that keeps upsetting everyone because I forgot to warn them about it.”
“That is a very clever idea, miko.”
“Thanks. Anyways, I gotta go pick up the others from the shrine. Did you two wanna come or are you gonna hang out here?”
“I think we will remain here. Hoshiyomi and I have much to discuss.”
“Cool. Okay, well, I’ll probably stop to get everyone some breakfast. You want anything?”
“I trust your judgment. I will not reject food.”
“What about you, Hoshiyomi? I know human food doesn’t do much for your body, but is there anything you used to like the taste of?”
“Hm. I was partial to pickled foods–namasu, tsukemono, aemono. I will follow Sesshōmaru’s lead and trust your judgment.”
“Well, I’ll get you some tasty take-out on the way back home, alright? Oh… take-out is food prepared by a business and packaged up so that we can take it with us.”
“That sounds most agreeable. Thank you, miko-sama.”
“You can call me Kagome, ya know.”
“Very well, Kagome-sama.”
The miko rolled her eyes as she gathered her purse and keys. An hour later and she was on her way back to the apartment, car loaded up with three disguised yōkai, Ikigai, and several enormous bags of take-out. Sesshōmaru opened the apartment door for the group, saving Kagome from fumbling with her keys. She’d made sure to warn everyone about Hoshiyomi… and Shippō was none-too-pleased about the news. He eyed the daiyōkai suspiciously as he walked into the apartment. Kagome didn’t expect him to actually confront the yōkai, so when he set down the bag of take-out that he was carrying and growled at the former leader of the ninja yōkai, his small façade of blunted nails pointing at him in accusation, Kagome’s eyes widened.
“You tried to hurt my mama!”
“Shippō!” Kagome inserted herself between the daiyōkai and the kitsune, unsure of a humanoid yōkai’s instincts… but all-too-aware that those with an inner-beast would feel challenged by the kit’s growls and posturing.
“Kit. Stand down. You will respect Hoshiyomi-sama as you respect me. He has apologized and sworn to atone for his past actions, as I have. We must get along. Too few of our kind remain to allow the past to influence us so. Do you understand?”
“Hai, Sesshōmaru-sama. I… I still don’t trust him.”
Hoshiyomi moved to settle on one of the zabuton near where Shippō stood, peeking around Kagome's legs as he hovered between the television and the tea table.
“And that is fair, little one. Did I hear Sesshōmaru correctly, did he refer to you as ‘kit’? Are you a kitsune, then?”
“H-hai.”
“Am I to assume you were the one traveling with the miko’s group when I sought the Naginata of Kenkon?”
“Oh, yeah.” Shippō removed his bracelet, shrinking back into his true form. “That was me.”
“You fought quite bravely back then. I am not surprised to see three tails on one so young. Very impressive.”
Shippō puffed up, his tails flexing and swishing behind him, growing fluffier with his peacocking.
“Thanks! Mama said you liked pickled foods so we got you a bunch of stuff. It smells real good." The kit licked his lips as he eyed the take-out bags. "Can we eat now, Mama?”
“Yeah, go get some plates, Ship.”
Kagome began unpacking the take-out, Hachi and Jaken following suit. Hachi had removed his bracelet almost as soon as he’d entered the apartment, but Jaken remained in his façade. Kagome had to keep suppressing laughs every time she looked at him. It was bizarre having an obvious, real-life replica of an anime character sitting beside her, back propped against the couch, chomping rather loudly on shrimp and rice. Shippō had mentioned that the imp hadn’t removed his bracelet since he’d put it on, apparently quite pleased with his new height-gain.
Since Hōjō’s visit, the morning had grown peaceful and as Kagome looked around at her little found-family, happily enjoying a well-cooked meal together, she couldn’t help but kick herself for not calling him sooner.
The miko was seated on the floor between the couch and the tea table. As she finished eating, she deflated with a long, contented sigh, resting her shoulders against the seat-cushion at her back. She started when a clawed hand ran through her hair. When she turned, she found Sesshōmaru seated behind her, all of his focus on Kagome. His eyes met hers and the back of his hand moved from her hair to her cheek, caressing her jawline with his knuckle. He seemed entranced for a moment before abruptly retracting his touch, clenching his eyes and taking a deep breath.
When the daiyōkai suddenly stood and made his way to the bathroom, aura coiled tightly around himself, Kagome felt a nervous pit form in her stomach. She heard the shower turn on, so as she busied herself with engaging in conversation with the other yōkai, she kept her senses open for anything amiss. Nearly a half an hour had passed without sensing Sesshōmaru’s aura, which Kagome had been taking as a good sign since he seemed to lose control of it when in distress. She became certain that its absence had been a good sign once she finally felt it, chaotic, filled with that same anger and humiliation from the day that he'd struggled to reach completion while masturbating. His yōki suddenly shot towards Kagome, entangling within her aura as if calling for her. She didn't hesitate before running to the bathroom and locking the door behind her.
"Sesshōmaru? What's going on?"
His voice was tight, words carefully, slowly pronounced.
"Please, join me."
She didn't hesitate. When she got into the shower, Sesshōmaru was standing stoically, draped in a drenched Mokomoko, his back facing her. He appeared composed, but the fresh scratches on his head betrayed the trauma that he was so clearly trying to hide. Kagome didn't say anything, she only pulled him into a hug from behind, her head resting between his shoulder-blades.
They remained in somber silence, neither feeling a need to talk, Sesshōmaru taking comfort in her presence as his claws absentmindedly traced the mikos arms encircling his torso. After several minutes, when his aura settled and his breathing seemed to regulate, Kagome parted from him. He seemed poised to protest until she reached for the shampoo and began washing his hair. He leaned back into her touch as she stretched onto her tip-toes to massage his scalp, a pleased rumble building progressively louder in his throat. She moved through their routine, gently scrubbing his body with his loofah as she allowed time for the conditioner to sit. When her hand came to his abdomen, she suppressed a gasp, hand grazing against the hot, thickened flesh standing erect against his stomach. It throbbed at the contact, flexing between his abs and Mokomoko. When she moved to retract, his hand stilled hers, pulling it closer to his length.
“Please.”
“Y-you’re sure?”
“Please.” He repeated the word, his voice small and pained.
She hesitated before dropping the loofah and allowing her fingers to slide lower beneath Mokomoko. His breath hitched as she stepped closer, pressing her naked body to his back as her palm slowly, gently worked the engorged girth of his cock. Sesshōmaru leaned his forearm against the shower wall, his head hanging between his shoulders as he panted.
"Sesshōmaru? Keep your eyes open, for me, okay? Why don't you focus on watching my hand?"
He nodded, groaning as he tracked the way her fingers slid along his skin, squeezing and pulling his aching length. His hips began to roll, meeting her tight grip and forcing his length through her hold. Kagome couldn't stop watching the way his muscles flexed with each thrust, the shudder in his legs as his movement became erratic.
"Close. Talk."
The miko inhaled a nervous breath, entirely unsure of what she should say to occupy his mind.
"G-good, just keep focusing on my hand. Is it tight enough? Do you need it faster?"
"F-faster."
“Okay. Keep watching. Focus on it, stay with me, right here, right now.”
A gasp sucked between his teeth.
“Yes. Now. Now!”
Sesshōmaru snarled, slamming his pelvis into her fist. The wet slapping sounds of his skin against hers rose around them, punctuated by the groans catching in his throat.
"Keep watching." Kagome's words were whispered against his back as she wrapped her other arm around him, cupping his heavy testicles, thumb kneading and massaging them against her palm. It instantly brought him over the edge, his sack tightening in her grip, swollen orbs pulling away from her gentle grasp as they contracted to hug the base of his shaft. She shivered at the feeling of his cock flexing and pulsing beneath her fingers as it pushed forth his release.
Harsh pants fell from the daiyōkai's lips, his breath ragged and body trembling as his hips stuttered and undulated in desperation. She could feel his seed shooting from him with every convulsion that took hold of his straining flesh. When he moaned her name, needy, wanton, Kagome’s thighs clenched around the moisture brought on by his cries.
"Kagome. Kagome!"
His breathing was heavy as he recovered, Kagome’s hand still gripping his softening cock. Her brow furrowed when his own hand covered hers, pulling it along his length until he began to harden again.
“Once more.”
“O-okay.”
It was roughly a half an hour later and twice more before he was sated. They were both heaving by the last one. Sesshōmaru's fists clenched in his fur as he finally allowed Kagome’s hand to part from his seemingly-satiated manhood. He was quiet for several minutes after.
Thirty minutes of Sesshōmaru writhing in the palm of her hand, slowly coming increasingly more undone was enough to have the miko on the verge of combustion. Her mind was seesawing along a litany of emotions and she was certain she would catapult into the abyss at any moment. Kagome was caught up in self-analysis when Sesshōmaru finally spoke.
“Forgive my weakness, Kagome.”
“What?”
“I have been striving to show you that I am enough, that I am not broken. I… I am a strong male, Kagome. In one moment of desperation I feel I have undone all of my progress, that I have shown you nothing but my failures and weaknesses.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve told you so many times–you have nothing to prove to me.” When he scowled and moved to pull away, Kagome gripped his chin. Gilded irises filled the corner of his eye as he regarded her with carefully-guarded vulnerability. “Look at me, Sesshōmaru. I know you're strong. I know you're not broken. I could never think you’re weak. You have biological needs... and this is a complicated situation.”
“I feel as though I am losing my mind. Never have I been plagued by such thoughts, kept in such a heightened state for so long. I dream of it, Kagome–” He turned, capturing her surprised face between his large hands. “I dream of feeling you, of being inside of you. I awaken, dripping and stiff, so close to my release… and it feels so good. But it never fails. Every dream morphs into a nightmare. Every fantasy turns dark. I cannot relieve myself.” He bent, resting his forehead against hers. “And now I have forced you to touch me again.”
“You didn’t force me to do anything.”
“I begged you, Kagome.”
“I still made the decision. I wanted to. We need to talk about what you said last night, though. Do you honestly think I would do this for anyone else?”
“I… do not know. I cannot understand why you would do it for me.”
“Because I care for you, Sesshōmaru. This is… deeply personal. I told you I’ve never done this before. And...I feel wrong, like I’m violating you.”
“What? How could you possibly think that?”
“Because you were touch starved when I found you. Our intimacy... it grew from your need for comfort. You mate for life. I don't want you to sacrifice something so personal and regret it later. I feel like I’m taking something from you–”
“No. You are not. Kagome, I require your aid in this. You told me to come to you when I need you, to communicate. I do not know who else to go to for help. I am not accustomed to asking for assistance at all, but miko, I must ask… I will keep my feelings for you separate from this situation, but currently, my biggest challenge in returning to myself is the shame, the self-loathing, and the horrific memories that surface while I am alone and trying to achieve release. I have attempted to abstain entirely, but it only causes more turbulent… feelings. I become frustrated with myself, and the strain in my manhood becomes more than just discomfort… it becomes humiliating. I have woken several times to it stiff and pressed against you. I have been so relieved to find you still asleep, unaware of my unintended violation. It hardens sporadically throughout the day, constantly forcing my mind to places that only make it more difficult to control.”
“What exactly are you asking from me, Sesshōmaru?”
“Rather than allowing it to get to this point, I wish for you to help me prevent reaching a state of desperation. I spend several days with negative thoughts, hating myself for my weakness before finally giving in to attempting to find self-release. This is my third attempt since you last assisted me. It was also my third failure. Will you… will you consider helping me to achieve release on a regular basis until Hōjō is able to advise me in another, more suitable solution?”
Kagome was surprised that he was even thinking of sharing this problem with Hōjō. He was putting forth so much effort in healing himself… and he wasn’t asking for a relationship or emotions, he wasn’t asking to touch her. He was asking for help.
“So…what you’re asking is that I give you a handjob when you feel like you need one?”
A rosy blush spread from his nose to the tips of his ears.
“This… is not an unusual thing amongst many pack-oriented yōkai, to have an alpha-bitch platonically pleasuring her un-mated alpha. Oftentimes, other pack-members will as well. Kitsune are especially liberal in this, the entire pack participating in group pleasure. I had never imagined partaking in pleasure outside of a mating. I… I have previously viewed it as a betrayal of one's future mate. Never had I experienced anything like this, though. I cannot function, Kagome. My physical torments are triggering mental ones.”
When she hesitantly chewed on her lip, thinking it over, he continued, his blush deepening.
“I know it is a lot to ask of you, it is disgusting–”
“It’s not disgusting. Stop.”
“I feel like a lecher.”
“You’re not a lecher. You’re a male. There’s a biological drive behind this. I feel like this is a really, really bad idea… but I won’t let you keep trying this on your own just to end up re-traumatizing yourself. I’ll do it. Come to me when you need it.”
His eyes widened in surprise before they closed, his forehead coming to a rest against her shoulder.
“Thank you, Kagome.”
“I’m… I’m glad you asked for help, Sesshōmaru. I know that wasn’t easy. And I’m so happy you’re willing to actually give Hōjō a chance.”
"Hn." He straightened, head slowly parting from her shoulder. “About that… I wanted to thank you for contacting him. I was at a loss with Hoshiyomi and I… I perhaps understood a little of what you have been dealing with in regard to my own difficulties. I had experienced it marginally with Jaken… but he is not daiyōkai. He is not as strong as Hoshiyomi. To have witnessed someone so great and terrible brought to his knees…”
“And you don’t think any less of him, do you? I want you to think about what you just said– you referred to his greatness in the present tense, meaning you still think he’s powerful.” Kagome rested her hand against his cheek. “So now you know how I see you.”
His nostrils flared, eyes clenching shut as he fruitlessly tried to refrain from crying.
“When he… when he referred to me with such high regard, when he submitted to me as his alpha and left his well-being in my hands… Kagome, I feel so much closer to myself. Having his respect despite everything. He has always been a magnificently powerful daiyōkai. I was surprised to learn that you and Inuyasha had managed to kill him.”
“I was surprised that you were so friendly with him. I’ve never seen you treat anyone like that.”
“I have known him since I was a pup. He is from a very, very long line of shinobi yōkai. My own mother is- was- a high-ranking member of a sect of female shinobi inuyōkai. His clan was closely tied to ours. We trained together in our youth. And… quite frankly, when I had heard he’d fallen, betrayed by a human mate, locked inside of a talisman… his demise had bolstered my unfounded hatred of humans. I am glad to learn that it was yet another baseless, misguided excuse to blame humans for my misfortunes. I am gladder still to have found him alive. He is, perhaps, my oldest friend and one of the few to ever hold the title at all.”
“I’m so glad we found him. I think he's gonna be good for you to have around.” Kagome hugged him, unmindful of their nakedness. When she realized, she was surprised by how unphased she was by it. She’d grown so comfortable with him that nudity didn't seem like an inherently sexual thing. She was even more surprised to find that he seemed to feel the same, his body lacking a… reaction to the contact. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her closer as he nuzzled against the side of her head. “I have a question, Sesshōmaru. Why didn’t you realize it was him?”
“What do you mean?” His face pulled back to search hers, brow furrowing.
“When you caught his scent in the bunker on the day with the weapons-vault. You didn’t recognize it?”
“Ninja yōkai mask their scents with powerful potions from birth to death. He was cloaked for the entirety of the time that I knew him. Never once did I scent him. If I had felt his aura, I would have known. I am one of the few outside of his clan who has encountered it and remained alive to recognize it later. Ninja yōkai keep their identities very closely guarded. I have never even scented my own mother’s true scent.”
“That’s… isn’t scent really important for inuyōkai?”
“It is, especially between mother and pup. It helps to create a bond. It was very confusing when I was young, to have my mother’s scent changing so often.”
Kagome buried her head in his neck to hide the tears brimming on her lash-line. The more she learned about his childhood, the worse she felt for him. She nuzzled her face into his throat, surprised when he growled in response. Sesshōmaru quickly separated himself from her embrace, but not before she felt his erection growing between them. He forced his words through clenched teeth.
“Kagome. You should not do that. Not in that spot, do you understand?”
“Which spot?”
His eyes were red when they met hers, his chest heaving. He growled again as he forced them shut.
“Here.” Sesshōmaru’s claw rested against the apex of his shoulder, right where it met his neck.
“Oh. S-sorry.”
“It is an erogenous zone for inuyōkai.”
Kagome’s brow lifted at his correct usage of a phrase that she was certain wasn’t a part of 16th century vocabulary. She chose not to ask where he'd found it.
“I didn’t know–”
“You couldn’t have.” His eyes re-opened and the miko was met with his usual amber, markings smooth. He cleared his throat. “The water grows cold. We should rejoin the others. I worry that my behavior and the aggression in my aura was… alarming.”
Kagome hummed her agreement low in her throat as she reached around him to turn off the water.
After drying off and dressing, they reconvened in the living room. Kagome smiled when she noted the leftovers had already been put away, dishes cleaned and drying. Shippō had fallen asleep, his head resting in Jaken’s lap as everyone else watched TV.
“Sesshōmaru, can you carry Shippō to his bed? I don’t want the blowdryer to wake him.”
“Allow me, miko-sama. I was feeling fatigued and considering retiring to our room, anyways.” Jaken grinned happily as he stood, clearly proud to be large enough to actually carry Shippō at all.
Kagome exhaled her contentment as she settled on the floor, Mokomoko spread out in front of her so that she could blow-dry it. Sesshōmaru hesitated before pushing the pelt to the side, settling in seiza with his back to the miko, wet hair falling into her lap.
Kagome snorted.
“Can I help you, sir?”
He glanced back at her haughtily, nose pointed in the air.
“This Sesshōmaru would greatly appreciate miko-sama’s assistance.”
“Weirdo.” She laughed as she gathered his hair, combing camellia oil through its length. His body relaxed, shoulders slumping as she began to blow-dry. Once finished, she fashioned it into a braid before starting work on Mokomoko again. She was nearly finished when her phone vibrated in her pocket. Kagome's eyes continued to widen as she read and re-read the banner of text on her screen.
Congratulations, Higurashi-sama!
The seller has agreed to your purchase application form with a 30% increase to the asking price and a 10% earnest money payment transferred to the seller by the end of the week. Attached is a draft of the contract.
Please let me know when you are available to go over and notarize the Juyo Jiko Setsumeisho.
Best Regards,
Satou Reiko
The miko hopped to her feet, the sensitive hearing possessed by her yōkai-housemates entirely forgotten as she released a high-pitched squeal and flailed around, incapable of containing the burst of energy produced by her glee.
Notes:
Yeeeee thank you all for all of the feedback and love on these last few chapters! <3 I'm working up the UMPH to go through my inbox, but I'm also on a serious writing kick... and I *think* it's safe to say you'd likely prefer a new chapter over a reply to your lovely, much appreciated comment, eh?
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💬Discord: supsteff#0582
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Chapter 21: Love Me, Love My Dog
Summary:
HOLY SHIT WE HIT 100k WORDS!!!!
WHAT THE HELLGAZE UPON IT
LOOK AT IT'S GLORY
Notes:
╔»•» 🚩 «•«═════════════╗
-HEED THE TAGS-
╚═════════════.»•» 🚩 «•«╝
*Please note, because this story is so trauma-laden, unlike my less dark stories, NO warnings will be given in the chapter summary when a chapter will contain potentially triggering content*
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Story Info - May Contain Spoilers*
Universe:
- Pre-Episode 193 Canon Compliant
Major Divergences:
- Kagome remains in the modern era instead of returning to the Warring States period after three years.
- Canon era setting altered (Kagome’s “future” time) to take place during 2011-2012 instead of 1996-2000.
- Kagome was born in 1996 instead of 1981.
Setting:
- 21st Century, Japan; Ten years post-episode 192
Tone/Genre:
- Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance, Thriller & Suspense, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Porn, Smut
Tropes:
- Sesshoumaru's Beast, Knotting, Mating Marks, Blood Adoption Ceremony, Kagome is Shippō’s Parent, Sesshoumaru is Rin’s Parent, Alpha Sesshoumaru, Powerful Higurashi Kagome, Aging Up, Hurt Sesshoumaru
Trigger Warnings:
- Rape and Sexual Assault, Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual), Child Abuse, Self-injurious behavior, Excessive or gratuitous violence, Needles, Kidnapping (forceful deprivation of/disregard for personal autonomy), Death or dying, Pregnancy/Childbirth, Miscarriages/Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Racism (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Prejudice, Slavery (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Genocide, Concentration camps (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Suicide, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Alcohol/Drug Withdrawal, Trauma, Suicide Ideation, Scars, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Alcoholism, Nightmares about Traumatic Events, Life-Changing injury, Detailed Medical Talk, Infant Death, Graphic Deaths, Mass Death, Murder, Extreme Violence, Gore, Torture, Mutilation, Cutting of Limbs, Threatening baby/child, Violence against Children, Physical Abuse, Described Blood, Graphic Violence, Drugging Someone Against Their Will, Female Oppression, Forced Breeding, Forced Pregnancy
Fandom Warnings:
- Several Major Character Deaths
- Several Major Character Undeaths
- Several Characters OOC
Published February 10, 2023 ༻❁༺ Chapter Word Count: 6,257
⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅
love me, love my dog
proverb
If you are going to love someone, you must accept everything about them, even those aspects, qualities, or faults that you might otherwise dislike:
Chapter Twenty-One
The several sets of baffled, wide eyes staring at her didn’t dampen Kagome’s smile. Not one bit.
One step closer.
“Mama?”
That might’ve dampened her smile… but only a little.
“Ah, Ship, did I wake you?”
She turned to find Shippō and the increasingly-familiar visage of Jaken’s concealment charm staring at her from the open doorway of the guest room. Her attention was pulled to Sesshōmaru when he scoffed.
“I highly doubt there was a single sleeping creature within all of Nippon that did not wake with the sound in which you just emitted, miko.”
“Not even your sarcasm could ruin my mood, grumpy-pants. We got the property.”
Light flickered in Sesshōmaru’s eyes, scowl capsizing until he was actually openly smiling. Hoshiyomi cleared his throat.
“Forgive me, will someone explain? I grow concerned. In all of the many centuries that I have known Sesshōmaru, a smile has never indicated anything good… but miko, you smell of pure joy.” The shinobi was smirking as he looked between the miko and the inu.
“Oh! Sorry. Right. So…” Kagome ran to the couch, still bouncing with glee as she plopped down between the two daiyōkai, legs folded beneath her and a throw-pillow hugged to her chest in an attempt to hold in her excitement. “I’ve been working to find a large plot of land so we can start building a sort of–well, sanctuary, I guess– for yōkai. Somewhere that the lesser yōkai will be able to roam freely, somewhere that the more sentient ones and daiyōkai can build a civilization together. It took weeks, but we found the perfect place. I made an offer to buy it from the person that owned it. They just agreed to sell it to me. So now we can start getting more yōkai out of that horrible place.”
Hoshiyomi’s eyes had widened fractionally as he stared at her.
“This was your idea, Kagome-sama?”
“Just Kagome. And… well, yeah. Why… do you think it’s a bad one?”
“No. No, certainly not. Quite the opposite. It seems you are doing so very much for yōkai-kind. I am merely impressed. Is there anything I can do to assist in this endeavor of yours?”
“Oh, trust me, there will be plenty to do. Not yet, though. I still have to sign a ton of documents and give them a ton of money.”
A thought seemed to flicker across Hoshiyomi’s face.
“I wonder what has happened to my clan’s wealth?”
“I have been wondering the same thing in regard to my own. It is certainly a question I will see answered once we have taken care of the prison. Until then, Kagome has acquired more wealth than that of both of our clans combined.”
Hoshiyomi barked out a laugh before noting the serious expression on Sesshōmaru’s face.
“Are you truly attempting to convince me that a human has surpassed the fortune amassed by two of the most ancient of daiyōkai clans? Clans that had prospered for countless millennia? Impossible.”
“I assure you, it is not. She is very intelligent and there is much opportunity in this era to use one’s wealth to increase one’s wealth. I will show you a documentary about investment later this evening.”
Kagome's face heated beneath the inuyōkai’s praise, flushing hotter as the assessing eyes of Hoshiyomi focused their attention on her. She was relieved when Shippō began pulling on the hem of her shirt, intent on stealing her attention.
“So… Mama, that means I’ll have somewhere that I can practice my transformations?”
“It sure does, Ship.”
The kitsune’s grin blossomed, the excitement bubbling beneath his skin nearly mirroring his mother’s.
“How much longer ‘til we can move there?”
“Well, first things first, I have to do a few things with the realtor. I don’t know how soon she’ll be able to meet with me. Hopefully she can squeeze me into her schedule tomorrow. The sooner I meet her, the sooner we can get a closing date in the works. These things can sometimes take a few weeks.”
Shippō’s face fell at the news.
“Hey, no frowns! Today is a happy day. This is the first step towards something amazing. How about we have a big dinner tonight? Maybe… maybe, Hoshiyomi, if you’re up to it, we can all go out for dinner? I know you haven’t had as much time to adjust as the others–”
“I left the apartment on my second day here. Hoshiyomi can as well. It will be good for him to see what has become of Edo.”
Hoshiyomi stood, then, nearly teleporting to the window as he looked beyond the blinds.
“Sesshōmaru… I do not believe I have ever heard you tell a joke. This cannot be Edo. How many years has it been since my death, miko?”
“Erm… right. Another thing I forgot to mention. It’s been about five centuries.”
He rounded on her, eyes impossibly wide, pupils covering the entirety of his irises.
“You lie. You could not be alive if it had been that long! You should have died several times over by now!”
“Hey! I don’t lie!” Kagome huffed, crossing her arms at the seething daiyōkai. “Look, the thing is that I wasn’t from the time that you met me. It’s a long story, one I’ll explain to you eventually if you’re interested… but either way, I was the guardian of the Shikon no Tama… it had some side-effects. One of which seems to be slowing my aging.” Her face morphed into amused surprise, mouth forming into an ‘o’ as she tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Hey, wait a minute. I just realized you were one of the few yōkai that we fought against that wasn’t actually after the jewel.” Kagome chuckled.
Both daiyōkai scoffed in unison.
“Only weak yōkai would seek such a thing.” Hoshiyomi folded his arms. “I was certainly not weak.”
“No, you definitely weren’t. You were a hard fight, even without the jewel.”
He preened a little at that.
“Well… so, anyways, are we gonna go out for dinner tonight?”
“I agree with Sesshōmaru. If he managed, so will I. I accept your invitation.”
“We need to get you a concealment charm put together, then.”
“I have been meaning to inquire about that. I assume that is what was hiding the kit’s yōki signature?”
“Uh-huh. It’s trickster magic.” Kagome nodded, smiling as she ruffled Shippō’s hair.
“Fascinating. My clan would have made great use of such a thing.”
“Yeah, I bet. Sesshōmaru mentioned how secretive your kind are. But, uhm, Shippō can show you the type of trinkets we have. Once you choose one, he and Hachi can tune your appearance however you want.”
“My appearance?”
“Well, yeah. That’s kind of the main point of the charm.”
Hoshiyomi’s voice was low, contemplative as he once again turned to look out the window.
“Concealment. Of course. Because I would stand out amongst humans.”
“It is not so bad, my friend.”
“You have worn a concealment, Sesshōmaru? I cannot imagine.”
“We do what we must to survive. This is a requirement of living in this time. They do not know that we exist. They cannot know that we exist.”
Hoshiyomi sighed.
“Very well, then. Show me your baubles, kit.”
“Hai, Hoshiyomi-sama!”
Shippō led the daiyōkai into the guest room. Hachi and Jaken joined them, leaving Sesshōmaru and Kagome by themselves in the living room. When the daiyōkai smirked at the miko, she quirked a questioning brow.
“What?”
“You have not stopped smiling for a single second since receiving the news.”
“It’s huge news!” She tossed the throw-pillow that had been abandoned to her lap off to the side before crawling closer to him. “This… this is the beginning of it all. There’s still so much work to do, but we can start helping everyone, now. We can get them their lives back! We can–oh!” She was abruptly crushed to the daiyōkai’s chest, his nose nuzzling the crown of her head. “Sesshōmaru?”
“You are so very selfless. Your smile is most genuine when you are helping others… or even simply thinking of helping others. It is endearing. My kind… our culture was very self-centered. Needing aid was weakness, so there was no value in those who so freely offered their aid. I see your value, miko. And you are a treasure of the rarest quality.” His hold loosened and Kagome sat up, watery blue pools threatening to spill over as they met the open sincerity within his amber eyes. “None of that, now. I would not have said anything had I known it would chase away your smile.”
Kagome averted her gaze and forced a laugh as a tear overwhelmed her lash-line.
“Sorry. I just…don’t think anyone has ever said something so nice to me before. I can’t believe you see me like that.” She laughed again, entirely mirthless. “I wish I could see myself through your eyes.”
He grinned at that, a fang catching on his lip.
“As do I. Perhaps you would not be so hard on yourself. You are an enigma, Kagome. So confident, yet so insecure.”
“You say that as if you don’t have that very same vice.”
He cocked his head and Kagome laughed for a third time, this one finally genuine.
“Even back then, Sesshōmaru, you were a confident warrior, but I could see your insecurities… even if they were hidden behind that scowl of yours.”
“Hn. I suppose I cannot refute that. Those insecurities have only grown since.” He looked away, brow furrowing.
“Hey, don’t think too much about it. Hōjō’s going to help you figure out how to overcome that stuff. You’ll be the best version of yourself in no time! That’s at least what he always used to say to me.” Kagome’s smile was wry.
“What did he mean, Kagome? What he said to you before he left?”
The miko groaned.
“I was hoping you wouldn’t ask. Thanks for waiting until we were alone, at least. But if we’re gonna talk about it, we’re not doing it here. Okay?”
She nodded towards the guest room door, hoping he’d understand that she didn’t want the others to overhear.
“Hn.” Sesshōmaru stood, lifting a loudly-protesting Kagome over his shoulder and carrying her to the bedroom. Once inside, he playfully tossed her on the bed.
“Hey! What was that for?”
“I require my ring if we are to leave.”
She grinned before hopping from the bed and disappearing into her closet to change. She realized she probably should’ve mentioned her intent when she’d stripped down to her underwear and turned to find Sesshōmaru staring at her, chest heaving, eyes wide. He seemed entranced, as if he couldn’t look away.
“Sesshōmaru?”
“F-forgive me. I…”
Kagome stared back, eyes widening to rival the daiyōkai’s when he dropped to his knees. Without thinking she ran to his side, not bothering to cover herself.
“Hey, are you okay?”
“Kagome, back away from me.”
“Wh-what’s going on?”
“Miko.”
He snarled the word like a command and Kagome instantly backed away. As she retreated, clawed fingers clasped around her wrist, pulling her scantily-clad body into Sesshōmaru’s lap. The breath left Kagome’s lungs when the daiyōkai’s aura shifted slightly, raising the flesh of her arms and the hairs on her neck. Red eyes pinned her.
“Mate.”
Kagome made the conscious effort to not react. The last time, before he’d explained that it had only happened because he was relaxed, she’d pulled away, she’d allowed Sesshōmaru to see her fear. That day, as he vowed to never hurt her, promising that she would never have reason to be afraid of him, Kagome could tangibly feel his hurt from her reaction. She refused to cause him that pain again… even if whatever this was, it wasn’t just Sesshōmaru relaxing. She hardened her brow and narrowed her eyes, mustering the courage of a girl who once pointed Tetsusaiga at this very same daiyōkai.
“Hey! None of whatever this is, mister. I… I won’t try to claim that I fully understand this whole ‘inner-beast’ thing, but whatever’s going on, it clearly upset Sesshōmaru. You can’t do this to him.”
“I am Sesshōmaru.”
“Not the one I know because he clearly just told me to get away from you.”
The beast frowned.
“But you are so beautiful. He does not try hard enough for your affection.”
“He doesn’t need to try for my affection!”
“Oh? Will you give it freely, then? I crave your touch. Mate, my flesh, it burns for you. Only your hands can soothe it.” Kagome gasped when he took her hands in his, guiding them to his stiffened erection. “If this one asked for relief, would you give it?”
“I already did! Three times today! And Sesshōmaru was fine with that until you showed up. You’re the one riling his body again. Please. He’s struggling enough. You can’t do this to him.”
“Mmm, yet you do not remove your hands. Stroke our cock, miko. One more release. For me.”
“You’re staying?”
“Hnn.”
“You’ll give him back control if I do this?”
A fang caught on his lip as he smirked.
“Once more.”
“Where have I heard that before?”
The beast chuckled, dark and seductive as he bent and licked Kagome’s neck.
“This one has protected our body through much agony, protected our mind through the pain, endured betraying our mate, betraying you. Allow this one reprieve. Allow… allow me to hold you, Kagome.”
He whimpered, a pained sound that made the miko hold onto him a little tighter. It suddenly occurred to her that this … it was the part of Sesshōmaru that took over in times of dire stress, when things were at their most difficult. This was the part of Sesshōmaru that was likely in control when the worst of his pains were inflicted upon him. Her brows furrowed together as her hand rested on top of the frayed markings of his cheek. The beast purred at the contact, nuzzling into her hand before turning to lick her palm.
“I’ve seen his eyes red like this. It was still him.”
Crimson regarded her, thoughtful, assessing.
“We share this vessel, miko. This is an in-between, a no-man’s land. Whoever stands within it is in control. Sometimes it is he, sometimes it is I, sometimes it is both. We are each our own… yet also one. It is perhaps beyond human comprehension. Perhaps beyond the comprehension of any who do not share a body with another.”
“Why’d you take control?”
“I desire you. I desire your acceptance.”
“My acceptance?”
“You will touch him, enjoy his face when it remains pretty. What of it when it is mine?”
“Yours? Sesshōmaru is always pre–”
His features suddenly contorted and he released a whimper, hands clamping to his head.
“No! Not yet!” Kagome was baffled as she watched his head thrash back and forth between the tight hold of his hands. “Please. I will prove it.”
“P-prove what?”
She realized that he hadn’t been talking to her when the dark aura that had encroached upon Sesshōmaru’s comforting, familiar one abruptly faded. His markings smoothed and clenched eyes opened to reveal gold. His nostrils were flaring as he stood, his rage palpable as he gently deposited the miko onto the bed. He took a seat with his back facing her, shaking fists balled in his lap. Kagome crawled closer, pushing his bangs away from his slightly-damp forehead.
“Sesshōmaru? Hey, are you okay?”
“Kagome… please, forgive me for losing control… and for taking so long to regain it. I did not anticipate that he would try to take it. I was caught off-guard. It is a rare thing.”
“No, don’t apologize. It’s okay. It’s a part of you. Like I said, I don’t really get how your beast works… but whatever he was talking about with desiring my acceptance, he already has it. You have it.”
His eyes cut to hers, wide… and then they traveled down her body. His tongue darted out to wet his lips. Kagome followed his gaze. When she looked down at herself she squeaked, then turned to retreat into her closet.
“I’m so sorry! I forgot–”
“Do not apologize. I am not usually so affected by bare flesh in such a way…but the undergarments of this era are like nothing I have ever seen. They flatter your body magnificently. And the material–” She could hear him panting. When she glanced over her shoulder, his face was buried in his hands as he mumbled into them. “Godsdammit.”
Kagome sighed as she stepped out of the closet, still dressed in nothing beyond the lacy set of black lingerie. His jaw went slack as she approached him.
“Just… lie back. I’ll take care of it.”
He nodded, closing his eyes and settling against the pillows.
“I am sorry. It has barely been two hours–”
“No, don’t apologize. Please.”
His breathing picked up as Kagome crawled on top of him, straddling his knees as she pulled down his pants and underwear. Her eyes widened when she took in how hard, how purpled with blood he was, his head glistening and wet, musculature tightening and flexing.
His nostrils flared, hands shooting to her hips as he growled.
“I could release just by scenting your arousal.”
Kagome flushed red as she wrapped her hands around him, hoping to distract from the place his mind had wandered. His growl grew deeper.
“It feels… different this time. Sensitive. So sensitive.”
“Tell me what you need, Sesshōmaru.”
“I need...” He whimpered, arching his back. “I need to be inside. I need… I need to–”
His hand reached for the pillow behind his head, fisting it between his claws as his face froze in a silent scream. She’d barely completed a dozen strokes before he was erupting, entire body tensed, the tendons in his neck standing prominent as he flexed and writhed through his orgasm.
Kagome couldn’t stop watching his face. She was barely aware of what was happening in her hands, so enraptured was she by the expression taking hold of Sesshōmaru’s features. His mouth was wide, eyes pinched shut, brows knitted together as his nostrils flared. The tension in his body snapped and he instantly collapsed against the bed in a heap.
His face buried into the pillow as he released several muffled cries.
“Sesshōmaru?”
“Nothing… has ever felt that good.”
Sesshōmaru remained boneless for several minutes as Kagome stood and pulled a T-Shirt from the hamper, wiping her hands off on it before tossing it over his fading erection. His eyes finally opened, glaring at the mess in his lap.
“Hn.” The daiyōkai cleaned himself up before throwing his legs over the bed, pulling his shorts back over his hips as he stood. By the time he’d retrieved his concealment ring, Kagome was sitting at her vanity, fully dressed and brushing her hair.
“Kagome–”
“I think… it’s best if we don’t talk about it afterwards. It… it’ll make it easier for me to separate the emotional part of it. Is that okay?”
“As you wish. Perhaps it will make it easier for me as well.”
Kagome met his eyes through the mirror, a soft smile spreading along her lips.
“Thank you… Sesshōmaru, are you sure this is a good idea? I’m worried it’s going to do more harm than good.”
“Kagome, please do not overthink this. I promise, I can keep my emotions separate. I will not go to another for help and I cannot do this myself. The harm that my frustration and… the places to which my mind ventures–it is so much worse than any of the emotions that must be suppressed when stirred by your touch.”
The miko sighed as she set down her hairbrush, once again holding his reflection’s gaze.
“Alright, well, if you’re sure. Let’s take Ikigai for a walk. I know somewhere we can go that will give us some privacy so I can answer your questions.”
Sesshōmaru nodded as he slid his ring onto his finger. Kagome watched as her favorite parts of his appearance slowly faded away, a bittersweet smile on her face.
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
They’d let the others know that they were taking Ikigai for a walk when they collected him from Hachi’s bed. Shippō begged to join them, but Kagome gently explained that she had something important to talk about with the daiyōkai. The kitsune’s frown faded when she promised to take him to the park later that evening, just the two of them and Ikigai.
A group of pigeons scattered as the miko and her two canine companions rounded the corner onto the narrow street behind her apartment building. Kagome inhaled deeply as they walked by the Red Tip honeysuckle that lined the walkway, taking in the pleasant fragrance of the wilting blooms.
They were quiet as they made their way to a nearby park. It was a two-minute walk, but Kagome typically avoided going there. The ground was entirely dirt… which was a nightmare when combined with a fluffy white dog. Ikigai was due for a bath, anyways, and the park was typically empty and quiet, save for the sound of the nearby train station. It was a good place to go and talk. They settled on a bench beneath the protective shade of several Beech trees, Kagome taking a steadying breath before speaking.
“I don’t really know where to start. I guess I’ll just say that this was a long time ago. Maybe not in your eyes since you’ve been alive for like… a hundred times the length that I consider ‘long’. But I’ve only been around for a little under three decades… so when it was almost an entire one of those decades ago, that’s a third of my life. It’s my past and I’ve worked hard to move beyond it.”
“Miko, you do not need to convince me. I only wish to understand the part of you that Hōjō worries for.”
“I know. I just don’t want you to judge me too harshly. I was a mess back then.”
“Well, I suppose I am ‘a mess’ now and you have yet to judge me. I think I can manage to extend the same courtesy.”
Kagome sighed.
“When I wished the jewel away and the well stopped working… It was like that entire year, everything I’d learned, everything I’d seen and experienced was just… erased. I barely got to celebrate the victory with my friends after we’d worked for an entire year to achieve it. I was a fifteen year old girl who thought she’d found the love of her life… and after our first real kiss… my first real kiss… he was just gone.”
Kagome clasped her hands around Ikigai’s leash to keep them from trembling. As she took a shuddering breath, the dog came and rested his head on her thighs, the whites of his eyes showing as he stared up at her. The miko sniffed back the urge to cry as she ran a hand over Ikigai’s triangular ears.
“I kept hoping that he’d live long enough to see this era, that he would just suddenly show up. But the longer I waited, the more I searched for yōkai and found nothing, the more my mind just… stopped. I became so depressed that I couldn’t even get out of bed.
“I ended up not attending high school for that first year back. I was too fixated on the past. I spent every minute of those first six months just looking for ways to get back to him, to get the well to open. When I couldn’t find a way… I just… I don’t think my mind could handle the stress of it. So I slept. A lot.”
Kagome couldn’t bring herself to look at Sesshōmaru, but she could feel his eyes on her… quiet, patient. Another deep breath and a kiss on the hand from Ikigai and the miko continued her story.
“My grandpa was especially vocal about his disappointment in me. A few of my friends weren’t much better. Hōjō and Ayumi–you haven’t met her yet, but she’s like a sister to me– they were always supportive, no matter what… but a few others…they weren’t shy about their opinion of me. And I couldn’t even tell them what I’d been through so they just looked at me like I was a waste.
“After wallowing for six months, I enrolled in night school… and the girls I met there were so different from the ones I went to normal high school with. They were… free. They didn’t worry about what people thought about them or getting perfect grades and being… perfect. I wanted that. So when they invited me to the park after class, I accepted.
“It became a nightly thing, going down to the woods, hanging out by the water just drinking convenience store liquor and smoking cigarettes. They called me quiet but never pushed me to talk more. I mostly just hung around and observed. I guess I was just enjoying the easy acceptance, the lack of judgment. After a while, they seemed to start trusting me more and offered marijuana… which I know you’ve watched a documentary about.”
He nodded when Kagome’s eyes briefly slid to his, but he remained quiet.
“Well, once that became a regular thing and they knew I wasn’t going to tell anybody, out came the paint thinner. I don’t think you’ll find any documentaries about this. There are things in this era, chemicals, that when inhaled have an effect on the brain. It releases dopamine and serotonin… which give a temporary illusion of happiness and pleasure. It can be addictive, especially to someone in a mental state like the one I was in. It’s also really, really dangerous.”
Kagome’s arms folded around her ribs as she leaned back against the bench, still avoiding looking at the daiyōkai. The next part was always the hardest for her to think about, the part that made her the most ashamed. She could feel the tears threatening and had to take a minute to collect herself before continuing.
“I had a bit of a problem with self-destructive behaviors. There is… a lot. I don't think I'm ready to share it all just yet. But I'll tell you about the night that I decided to change. On the first anniversary of the well closing I spent the night sitting on the ledge of the well, crying, drinking, and huffing–erh… inhaling –paint thinner. I passed out and fell in. Ikigai sat in the wellhouse howling until he got someone’s attention. Unfortunately, that someone was my little brother… who was only ten years old at the time.
“I woke up in the hospital on a ventilator. Alcohol poisoning and a concussion. With what my family told me about that night coupled with the medical records from the hospital stay… I’m pretty positive that I would’ve died if it wasn’t for the jewel.”
Kagome took a minute to recover from the emotions that thinking about that night stirred within her. She didn’t feel like sharing the details with Sesshōmaru–not yet, at least–but her mother had to have a couple dozen centimeters of dirt poured into the well to hide the bloodstain that–no matter how many times Mrs. Higurashi had scrubbed and bleached–would just not go away. The smell of paint thinner from where it had dumped when she fell… that never fully went away, either. She’d been covered in it when the paramedics pulled her out of the well. Only her reiki saved her from permanent, near-full-body chemical burns. She’d spent two weeks in a coma. The stress of it all had nearly sent her grandfather to his grave and her brother still couldn’t look at her the same.
Kagome’s lip trembled. She bit it, hard, forcing herself to sober and keep talking before she cried.
“I was so ashamed. I got my shit together after that–stopped drinking, stopped smoking and huffing, started going to therapy, focused entirely on my education. My high school records were… not so good. I was lucky to even get into university considering how bad my grades were from my eighth to tenth year. The last year and a half of high school was when I finally turned things around. I worked my ass off in college just to get into medical school. Sorry, half of what I’m saying probably doesn’t even make sense to you.”
Kagome buried her face in her hands, fingers carding through her bangs as she blew out a shaky breath. She finally looked at Sesshōmaru.
“Miko, how many times must I tell you that context gives me enough to understand you? Besides, I have learned much of this era through media consumption. There is no need to apologize. I am… honored that you trust me enough to share something so traumatic with me.”
“It’s nothing compared to what you’ve gone through… and that’s why it feels just… extra shameful. I was so weak–”
“Do not. No, Kagome. You were strong. If you were weak, you would not be here. You are thriving in comparison to the circumstances you endured back then. You have nearly achieved a medical degree… after all of the challenges you faced. You should be proud of how far you’ve come.
“I have told you of Inuyasha’s suffering. You were his mate… whether you understand what that means or not. The attachment was not one-sided… and you were so very young. I cannot imagine Rin enduring what you did with so few years of life experience to guide her. I know that time has certainly changed the way things are done, but frankly, from what I have come to understand of this era, that is a fact that made it all the worse for you. Rin grew up in a time when by that age she was considered a woman, expected to be married and bearing children.”
“Did she? Marry and have kids, I mean?”
Sesshōmaru’s eyes averted, a deep sigh leaving his lips as he ran his hands over his face.
“S-sorry. I didn’t mean to make you think of her–”
“It is not that, miko. I am the one that brought her up.” Another sigh. “No. She did not marry or reproduce. Not to my knowledge.”
“Wait–why wouldn’t you know? You were still around during her lifespan–”
“This is a topic that I do not think I can broach right now, Kagome. Forgive me. You have been so open with me but this… this is very complicated and… I fear it will only cause more pain and damage.”
“Oh. Forget I said anything. Sorry. I don’t want you to hurt anymore than you already are. You have enough going on.”
His eyes flicked away from her again as she pulled him into a hug, rubbing soothing circles against his back.
“This conversation was not meant to be about me and my comfort, miko.”
“Yeah, well, I prefer it to talking about myself. That was the toughest year and a half of my life and it felt like it lasted forever.”
“Inuyasha often said the same about the first century after losing you.”
“Century?”
“Yes, miko. It took him accepting that you would not be coming back through the well again–that you would have certainly aged and died after one hundred years–before his beast allowed him to move on.”
“Yeah, well, good thing his beast didn’t know about the Shikon’s last laugh. A century. I can’t imagine that I meant that much to him, honestly. Maybe over time I just convinced myself that I didn’t mean anything to him, though. It hurt less that way, I think.
" I don’t think of him like that anymore, though. I don’t even know if I ever really was in love with him. Most of my memories are bittersweet at this point… but I just… I don’t know.”
“You have moved on?”
“I guess so. It just feels like there never really was anything to move on from other than an idea… a fantasy. We never had the chance to see what a real relationship would look like between us.”
“What if he had been in the prison? What if we were to find him? To discover that he survived? We still do not know–”
“I don’t think it would be the same. It’s hard to look back on a teenage boy, though, and assess how I would feel about him as an adult. I’m not the same girl I was back then. I’m sure that if he’s out there somewhere, he’s not the same as he was when I knew him, either. I’m definitely not the same as I was when he knew me. We’d be like strangers… and there’s no telling how compatible we’d be. But I do know that a romantic relationship with him would not be my first thought. I’d be overjoyed that he’s alive… but beyond that, I couldn’t say. I don’t feel the longing for him anymore.”
“Hn.”
When Kagome smiled at him, Sesshōmaru stretched his arm across the back of the bench behind Kagome, his hand resting on her shoulder as she snuggled beneath his embrace.
“What about you, Sesshōmaru?”
“What about me?”
“Any past relationships?”
“No.”
“At all?”
“No, miko. There were none.”
“Yōkai are interesting. With as… aroused as you’ve been… how exactly did you manage before?”
Sesshōmaru instantly looked uncomfortable, squirming in his seat.
“I am not a human, Kagome. Our biology is very different. Reading your medical texts has made that very plain to me. Yōkai live for so long that we do not have an instinctual drive to procreate in the way that humans do. When you and I first met, I was the human equivalent of roughly two decades old. Even by human standards, that is rather young. At least in this era. Consider this–back in that era, humans had a drive to mate and breed at a much younger age than they do in this era. Why is that?”
“Life expectancy was lower… Ah. I see. And yōkai live infinitely longer lives.”
“Correct. For inuyōkai, procreation is not rushed. It comes naturally whenever we find our lifemate. For yōkai like my parents, however, political arrangements would often force breeding for an heir. My parents' mating was emotionless. I firmly believe this to be the cause of my father’s early death. Inuyōkai… we are incredibly affectionate. We crave intimacy. It is our very nature. My father and mother barely tolerated one another and it deprived them both of that intimacy.
"When chichi-ue met Izayoi, he’d already given his mating mark to a female he felt nothing for. He could no longer correct Izayoi’s mortality. I think the mere thought of it nearly drove him mad. I vowed to never mate for political gain, to only mate for the bond.”
“So… why are you so… ehm… insatiable now?”
His squirming and fidgeting resumed, eyes landing anywhere but the miko.
“Because of you. You… you’ve triggered my mating instincts. They are very hard to suppress. Previously… Kagome, this topic feels crude. I do not wish to offend you.”
“You won’t, seriously. I want to know. Please?”
A long sigh left the daiyōkai as he leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees, gaze fixed on nothing particular in the distance.
“Inuyōkai experience a yearly rut. Or a heat, for females. This occurs during the late winter. Previously, I would isolate. Being near a female during the rut, especially if she is in heat, will likely end in an undesirable mating. The stronger the yōkai, the more manageable it is. I had never had any problems. I also did not have the added obstacle of being incapable of achieving self-release.”
“Sesshōmaru… why can’t you–”
“No. No, miko. I can’t. I won’t. I will not explore what my mind is trying to show me. No.”
“Okay, shh, relax. I’m sorry–”
His head crushed to her chest, arms wrapping around her midsection as he whimpered. Kagome’s hands settled on his head, fingers scraping his scalp, carding through the unfamiliar short, black tresses.
“I’m so sorry, Sesshōmaru. Let’s talk about something else. Where do you want to go for dinner tonight? What do you think the others will enjoy?”
“Jaken likes shrimp.”
Kagome laughed.
“Yeah he does. A lot.”
“The kit likes everything.”
She laughed louder this time.
“That’s also true.”
“The tanuki will be pleased if there is saké.”
“You are very observant.”
He seemed to hesitate before continuing.
“You like unagi.”
She sobered at that.
“Yeah. It’s my favorite.”
“I know. The friend I used to visit that restaurant in the park with was Inuyasha. As soon as it opened… he remembered it. He remembered going there with you.”
Kagome’s hands tightened in Sesshōmaru’s hair. She’d been so jealous and possessive when he kept mentioning a friend that he’d gone there with… and the whole time he was censoring himself for her.
She leaned down and kissed his temple, long and lingering as tears dripped down her cheeks. He gasped, his arms tightening around her waist. Sesshōmaru sat up and cupped Kagome’s face in his hands. She stiffened when he leaned closer, relaxing fully as his tongue swiped away her tears.
A throat cleared in the not-too-far-off distance and Kagome had to stifle a laugh when her eyes met those of an elderly woman whose angry glare in their direction would rival the grump-level of her grandpa. The miko stood immediately, offering a low bow and several apologies as she hastily dragged the daiyōkai away from the park.
Maybe they’d leave a little early for dinner.
Chapter 22: In a Dog's Age
Notes:
What's this? Double update? 👀👀👀
In celebration of reaching 100k words... HAVE MORE WORDS!
⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅╔»•» 🚩 «•«═════════════╗
-HEED THE TAGS-
╚═════════════.»•» 🚩 «•«╝
*Please note, because this story is so trauma-laden, unlike my less dark stories, NO warnings will be given in the chapter summary when a chapter will contain potentially triggering content*
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Story Info - May Contain Spoilers*
Universe:
- Pre-Episode 193 Canon Compliant
Major Divergences:
- Kagome remains in the modern era instead of returning to the Warring States period after three years.
- Canon era setting altered (Kagome’s “future” time) to take place during 2011-2012 instead of 1996-2000.
- Kagome was born in 1996 instead of 1981.
Setting:
- 21st Century, Japan; Ten years post-episode 192
Tone/Genre:
- Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance, Thriller & Suspense, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Porn, Smut
Tropes:
- Sesshoumaru's Beast, Knotting, Mating Marks, Blood Adoption Ceremony, Kagome is Shippō’s Parent, Sesshoumaru is Rin’s Parent, Alpha Sesshoumaru, Powerful Higurashi Kagome, Aging Up, Hurt Sesshoumaru
Trigger Warnings:
- Rape and Sexual Assault, Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual), Child Abuse, Self-injurious behavior, Excessive or gratuitous violence, Needles, Kidnapping (forceful deprivation of/disregard for personal autonomy), Death or dying, Pregnancy/Childbirth, Miscarriages/Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Racism (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Prejudice, Slavery (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Genocide, Concentration camps (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Suicide, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Alcohol/Drug Withdrawal, Trauma, Suicide Ideation, Scars, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Alcoholism, Nightmares about Traumatic Events, Life-Changing injury, Detailed Medical Talk, Infant Death, Graphic Deaths, Mass Death, Murder, Extreme Violence, Gore, Torture, Mutilation, Cutting of Limbs, Threatening baby/child, Violence against Children, Physical Abuse, Described Blood, Graphic Violence, Drugging Someone Against Their Will, Female Oppression, Forced Breeding, Forced Pregnancy
Fandom Warnings:
- Several Major Character Deaths
- Several Major Character Undeaths
- Several Characters OOC
Published February 10, 2023 ༻❁༺ Chapter Word Count: 2,845
⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅
in a dog's age
idiom
in a very long time:
Chapter Twenty-Two
After a bit of thinking it over, Kagome suggested a Japanized western-style restaurant that would probably have something for everyone. When she pulled the menu up on her phone and let the yōkai look it over, it was unanimously agreed upon that it was a good choice. She called the restaurant and made an evening reservation for a table of six. One long lecture about proper public etiquette and behavior later and everyone was packed into Kagome’s Toyota.
“I need to get a bigger car.” The miko mumbled to no one in particular as she looked at the group of disguised yōkai squished together in her backseat.
It was jarring to see Hoshiyomi without his markings. He'd chosen to remain as much like himself as possible, at least, going so far as to refuse a change in hair length. He’d also kept his eye color–which was blue. While not very common, it was certainly more realistic than Sesshōmaru’s brilliant amber. The daiyōkai's thigh-length hair would undoubtedly draw attention, though-and that was something they needed as little of as possible. Kagome was able to convince him to allow her to braid it. So there he sat, unhappily crowded and wearing a human façade, the corners of his mouth hanging heavily into a frown.
Despite their destination only being a fifteen minute drive, Kagome was certain it would feel much longer for the poor daiyōkai.
The restaurant was within a special ward that Sesshōmaru hadn’t been to yet. Kagome had chosen the area specifically so she could show him a little more of Tokyo. With each adventure outside of their home, the miko tried to expose the daiyōkai to a new place. He'd expressed a desire to travel, to see more of the changes across Japan. Since they couldn't do that just yet, she figured at least exploring more than their neighborhood would be nice in the meantime. Their apartment was in Arakawa, so he’d seen a lot of that over the month. Through grocery shopping and mall trips, she’d exposed him to Chūō and Chiyoda. He’d also seen a little of Minato, since her family shrine was located near the northeastern corner of the ward. That night, they were going to Toshima.
Since the restaurant was inside of a small shopping center with attached automatic parking, Kagome took the opportunity to teach everyone about how that nifty little innovation worked. Shippō was interested for all of two minutes, but once the car disappeared behind the garage doors, he was bored. Sesshōmaru, however, was fascinated and spent the entirety of their walk to the restaurant on his phone, looking at videos that showed the process once the car was handed over to the attendant. This led to a discussion about phones in general after Hoshiyomi questioned the device's purpose. Sesshōmaru explained, and Shippō complained about not having his own yet. Granted, Kagome hadn’t found the time to get Hachi or Jaken their own, either. Not that they seemed to care. Jaken often pilfered Kagome’s tablet to look up recipes, but Hachi had no interest in technology beyond the television. Hoshiyomi’s interest level was closer to Sesshōmaru’s, though, so she fully intended to supply him with a phone at the next opportunity. She’d probably get everyone else one while she was at it... because why not?
Sesshōmaru was the only one of the group who had really been out and about, exploring the modern world, so while he remained disinterested in his surroundings–having seen enough human stores to last a lifetime–the rest of the group were wide-eyed with wonder, attention darting from one place to the next. Shippō had to ask about every single store they passed.
“What’s that one for, Mama?”
“It’s a coffee shop–”
“Oooh! What’s this? It smells good!”
“It’s called a pâtisserie. It’s a French style bakery. They sell desserts there.”
It was the first time he hadn’t cut off her explanation.
“Can we go?”
“After dinner, yeah. We’ll get some sweets to take home with us. Sound good?”
“Yeah!”
His rapid-fire questioning continued until they came to the escalator.
The restaurant was on the second level… and Shippō refused to stand on the motorized belt of the staircase, growling at it and nearly throwing a full-on tantrum. Kagome had to hoist him onto her hip until they reached the top. He continued to pout until they were at the restaurant and he could smell food. Kagome gave her name for the reservation and a host led them to a long leather bench that lined the interior wall, facing large windows that overlooked the city beyond. The sun was setting, casting a beautiful array of colors over the dining room's open interior.
The tables were small and three of them had been pushed together to accommodate the group. Jaken, Hoshiyomi, and Hachi took the dining chairs with their backs to the window, while Kagome sat between Sesshōmaru and Shippō on the leather bench. Hachi was more in his comfort zone than she’d seen him in a while, openly flirting with both the hostess and the waitress.
Since it was a celebration, Kagome ordered a bottle of wine for the table. She didn’t drink alcohol very often anymore. Not after what she went through in high school… but she didn’t consider herself an alcoholic. Back then, she’d become dependent on substances–including alcohol–in order to achieve happiness. She’d since managed to, for the most part, achieve happiness without those crutches. She hadn’t felt an urge to drink to numb her pain or ease her stress in a long time. At least not until Jun had showed up at her apartment and shoved a beer in her face. Even then, though, she’d resisted the temptation. So, when the occasion called for it, the miko felt comfortable with an occasional glass of wine.
She ordered a separate bottle just for Hachi.
They started off with three orders of two-person appetizer platters, wine, and some really good conversation about plans for the future. Jaken expressed an interest in attending culinary classes of some sort, which prompted several ideas to come to fruition. Hachi mentioned opening an izakaya with Jaken, the imp preparing food while the tanuki tended bar. The topic of classes prompted Shippō to ask Kagome about attending school in general. The miko hadn’t considered it… and it gave her a lot to think about. It had inspired a deep desire to become a teacher within the yōkai community. She’d found she enjoyed explaining things, watching the yōkai’s eyes light up with wonder over modern advancement. So there she sat, fantasizing about opening a schoolhouse. Sesshōmaru was incredibly enthusiastic about this idea. As everyone happily chattered on, Hoshiyomi mostly listened, still unsure of his place in this new world.
When the appetizers came out, the group ordered their dinners. Since none of the yōkai had tried steak before, literally everyone except Kagome–who’d asked for crab cream croquettes–had chosen some variation of Akaushi. Hachi and Shippō both got it deep-fried, Jaken got a cutlet sandwich, and the two daiyōkai ordered the tenderloin–rare. Things became quieter once the food had arrived, the group mostly chatting idly, commenting on the quality of their meals and sharing food with one another. It was turning out to be one of the best days of Kagome’s life.
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Shippō didn’t allow his mother to forget about her promise to take him for sweets after dinner. As they stepped inside of the store, Sesshōmaru actually whimpered when someone walked by him carrying a massive strawberry parfait, eyes tracking the poor person’s movements all the way back to their table. Kagome felt like she needed a leash to tug to keep him from chasing after it. It was the most dog-like behavior she’d ever seen him exhibit… and when she cracked up laughing, the daiyōkai turned to glare at her… only to find everyone else trying not to laugh, too. He huffed before skulking away to go observe the menu.
It took all twelve of their hands to transport the amount of to-go bags they left the pâtisserie with. Shippō had fallen asleep on the ride home, and Sesshōmaru carried him into the apartment without Kagome even needing to ask. Her heart swelled as she watched the scene, the daiyōkai having summoned Mokomoko to cushion the kit’s head, walking carefully and slowly to avoid jostling him too much. Hoshiyomi was also watching, eyes wide. When the inuyōkai followed Jaken and Hachi into the apartment, Hoshiyomi stayed behind with Kagome to help carry bags.
“Kagome-sama–”
“Just Kagome.”
“Kagome… forgive me, but Sesshōmaru had previously mentioned that you were his mate, yet… you do not bear his mark. May I ask why?”
“Oh… it’s… well, his beast has claimed me as his mate but… I…”
“Have rejected him.”
Her eyes averted, heat creeping into her cheeks.
“May I ask why? Forgive me for prying, but I can no longer hold my curiosity. I had initially thought that your hesitance had to do with your own reservations about yōkai… but observing how hard you have worked, how passionate you are about helping our kind… I have to ask because I cannot imagine you are rejecting him for what he is.”
“No! Never… never. I think… I think he’s perfect. I rejected him for what I am.”
“Would you care to explain?”
“Sesshōmaru… He’s struggling right now. I don’t want him to end up rushing into mating me and then regretting it later. He hated humans, hated me. He tried killing me when we first met and basically told Inuyasha that my life was insignificant. He also called Inuyasha’s blood ‘dirty’. I… I don’t want him to waste his only opportunity to claim a mate on a measly human just to regret it later when he finds his true mate. I feel like I’ve changed his opinion about humans enough for him to always be my friend. I… I would hate for him to resent me for taking advantage of his vulnerability.”
“You think so little of yourself? Miko, it is plain to see that he worships you. His beast would not claim just anyone.”
“Yeah… but… everything he went through. And frankly, I’m not just afraid for him. I don’t know what I’d do if he suddenly realized he didn’t want me that way.”
“You understand so very little about yōkai, Kagome. Especially those with an inner-beast. Sesshōmaru will likely never take a mate if it is not you. Not within your lifespan. His beast does not get ‘confused’, it acts upon instinct. And Sesshōmaru has the most powerful, fearsome beast I have ever encountered.”
“And what if his beast was hurt?”
“Pardon?”
“It’s not my place to talk about this. But I think his beast has gone through a lot. Do you remember when I first touched you when we left the bunker? How it felt? Or even when I touched you through my aura… touch starvation is a serious thing. Sesshōmaru had been touch starved for centuries. He’d been in that horrible place for over two hundred years, suffering. Maybe his beast didn’t get confused before, but after everything Sesshōmaru went through… no. I won’t risk it. I won’t cause him further pain. If he ends up realizing I’m not his true mate… it would only hurt us both.”
“I had not considered that… and while you make valid points, I still cannot imagine Sesshōmaru making such a serious decision without being entirely certain of it. But I cannot refute what you’ve said about this ‘touch starvation’ because when your aura embraced me… the sensation was euphoric. I had briefly wondered if it was my Tsukiyomi’s spirit.”
“Oh… I’m sorry.”
“No. Please, do not apologize. You… I am ashamed that you witnessed me during my outbursts of rage… but I am so grateful that you were there. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. We should go inside before the others get worried… unless there was something else you wanted to talk about?”
“No, no. I just… Kagome, do not close your heart to him. I can see the tenderness shared between the two of you. It is a beautiful thing. He will heal and eventually he will show you that his mind is not a frivolous thing. His affection will remain, I am most certain.”
Kagome chewed on her lip as she squashed down every bit of hope that Hoshiyomi was expertly stirring within her. Hope, in her opinion, was selfish. At least when it came to her relationship with Sesshōmaru. She wouldn’t let go of her convictions just so she could be happy… just so he could be hers. Even if there wasn't anything in the world that she'd ever wanted more. She almost wished she could just forget everything she knew about trauma and brains, to be oblivious to the likelihood of attachment out of necessity, to be able to be with him guilt-free, ignorant to the potential of catastrophic ramifications for her decisions.
But she wasn’t ignorant. She knew very well what trauma could do to the mind. And while she wanted to hope that one day Sesshōmaru would heal and his desire for her would still be as strong... that hope was dangerous. It was playing with fire. It would nurture her own desires and affection. It could influence her behavior. So, she would continue to deny her own feelings, her own wants and needs. It was for the best. For the both of them.
Kagome plastered on a smile and followed Hoshiyomi into the apartment.
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
Shippō didn’t wake up for the rest of the night, so the promise of taking him to the park would be postponed until the next day. Hachi had succumbed to sleep as soon as they were home, too. Jaken, Hoshiyomi, and Sesshōmaru remained in the living room, the latter of them showing the former two his favorite documentaries. Every fifteen minutes or so, the TV would pause and intense, passionate discussions would follow. Kagome had happily observed it for about two hours before exhaustion kicked in.
“Well, this human needs some sleep. You guys enjoy your documentaries. And thanks for coming out with me tonight. I had a lot of fun.”
“As did I, Kagome-sama. This era may not be so bad, after all.”
Jaken nodded in agreement with Hoshiyomi.
“Hai, Kagome-sama. Thank you for inviting us to join you. It was exciting to see a restaurant in person.”
“I’m glad you both enjoyed it.” She smiled sleepily.
“Would you like for me to join you, Kagome?”
“Oh, no. Sesshōmaru you’re having so much fun. Keep at it. I’ll be asleep in no time, anyways.”
“You are certain?”
“Of course.” Without thinking, she rested a hand on his cheek, thumb stroking his markings. She flushed when she noticed Hoshiyomi’s knowing smirk, hand retracting with a nervous laugh. “Anyways, goodnight guys.”
The three yōkai bid her goodnight over one another, Sesshōmaru’s eyes following her until she’d rounded the corner. He resumed the documentary with a sigh.
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It had been two hours of tossing and turning and Kagome was dying. She hadn’t gone so long without an orgasm since she’d discovered what her clitoris was. With the constant exposure to Sesshōmaru’s stupidly impressive penis added to the mix, she was literally ready to explode. Her body was so worked up that even contact with the bidet was nearly enough to set her off. She needed to take care of it before she ended up flooding the bed in her sleep.
Sesshōmaru was still out in the living room. Kagome wasn’t sure why she was tip-toeing, as if the daiyōkai was not aware that she was still awake, as if he couldn’t still hear her–despite her best attempts–when she slowly opened the bedside drawer where the bullet-shaped mini-vibrator (that, within her own mind, she fondly referred to as her best friend) had lain dormant for an entire month. She almost felt the need to apologize to it.
Kagome slid it into her pocket upon retrieval and retreated guiltily to the bathroom. Once the door was locked, she filled the bathtub and thanked her past-self for buying a waterproof vibrator. As soon as she was beneath the hot water, the sexually-frustrated miko pressed said vibrator to her obscenely-swollen clit. Kagome came in under thirty seconds, hand clamped over her mouth to prevent the scream, breaths leaving through her nostrils in frenzied puffs. The next orgasm took a little longer–almost a full minute. The final one took a good, solid fifteen minutes of actual work. With that one, she'd finally found relief. Afterwards, Kagome took her time in the tub, humming her contentment as she blissfully soaked amongst the bubbles.
Kagome spent the half hour after her bath scrubbing the entire bathroom and laundering any fabrics that were in the vicinity–her pajamas, the towels, even the bathroom rug. She would take no chances… not while living with yōkai.
Finally, the miko snuggled down into her bed and fell fast asleep. Never before had she slept so soundly.
Chapter 23: Cute as a Speckled Pup
Notes:
╔»•» 🚩 «•«═════════════╗
-HEED THE TAGS-
╚═════════════.»•» 🚩 «•«╝
*Please note, because this story is so trauma-laden, unlike my less dark stories, NO warnings will be given in the chapter summary when a chapter will contain potentially triggering content*
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Story Info - May Contain Spoilers*
Universe:
- Pre-Episode 193 Canon Compliant
Major Divergences:
- Kagome remains in the modern era instead of returning to the Warring States period after three years.
- Canon era setting altered (Kagome’s “future” time) to take place during 2011-2012 instead of 1996-2000.
- Kagome was born in 1996 instead of 1981.
Setting:
- 21st Century, Japan; Ten years post-episode 192
Tone/Genre:
- Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance, Thriller & Suspense, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Porn, Smut
Tropes:
- Sesshoumaru's Beast, Knotting, Mating Marks, Blood Adoption Ceremony, Kagome is Shippō’s Parent, Sesshoumaru is Rin’s Parent, Alpha Sesshoumaru, Powerful Higurashi Kagome, Aging Up, Hurt Sesshoumaru
Trigger Warnings:
- Rape and Sexual Assault, Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual), Child Abuse, Self-injurious behavior, Excessive or gratuitous violence, Needles, Kidnapping (forceful deprivation of/disregard for personal autonomy), Death or dying, Pregnancy/Childbirth, Miscarriages/Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Racism (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Prejudice, Slavery (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Genocide, Concentration camps (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Suicide, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Alcohol/Drug Withdrawal, Trauma, Suicide Ideation, Scars, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Alcoholism, Nightmares about Traumatic Events, Life-Changing injury, Detailed Medical Talk, Infant Death, Graphic Deaths, Mass Death, Murder, Extreme Violence, Gore, Torture, Mutilation, Cutting of Limbs, Threatening baby/child, Violence against Children, Physical Abuse, Described Blood, Graphic Violence, Drugging Someone Against Their Will, Female Oppression, Forced Breeding, Forced Pregnancy
Fandom Warnings:
- Several Major Character Deaths
- Several Major Character Undeaths
- Several Characters OOC
Published February 11, 2023 ༻❁༺ Chapter Word Count: 4,249
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as cute as a speckled pup
simile
Very cute; adorable:
Chapter Twenty-Three
Kagome blinked her eyes open… and was instantly confused. There was a heavy warmth on her stomach, her entire body was cushioned by Mokomoko, and her head was in Sesshōmaru’s lap. His claws were gently, slowly running through her hair. When he sensed her waking, he leaned, nuzzling his nose to her temple and whimpering.
“Sesshōmaru? What’s wrong?”
“You are in pain.”
“Wha?”
Kagome blinked a few more times and realized… he was right…she was, in fact, in pain. The miko groaned. She’d forgotten she was due for her period. She didn’t even want to think about what the sheets probably looked like beneath her or how she was going to explain any of this to Sesshōmaru, who might not realize what was happening. Did female inuyōkai have monthly periods? Would Sesshōmaru be educated on the topic if they did?
“Your menstrual cycle began while you were sleeping. I did not want to wake you… I know that rest is important.”
More blinking. Kagome shifted her weight slightly and the heavy warmth slid off of her stomach and plopped onto the bed. She lifted the blanket and was surprised to find her hot water bottle. She looked back at Sesshōmaru, who had leaned forward to collect the bottle and was actively placing it back against her lower-stomach.
“Where’d you find that?”
“In the bathroom when I was searching for ibuprofen. Here.”
Kagome laughed when a spoonful of chocolate cake from the pâtisserie appeared in front of her face.
“Why are you trying to feed me cake?”
“Because you must eat before you can take the ibuprofen.”
“But… why cake?”
“It is chocolate.”
Kagome raised an eyebrow at him.
“Have you been on the internet all morning?”
“Of course I have. I did not know what to do to help you. At first, when the bleeding began, I was extremely concerned. It smelled of more than just blood, though, and I recalled seeing something about tissue shedding in human females when reading about human reproduction. I had assumed that was what ailed you, and when I noted where the blood was coming from I could only surmise that my assumption was correct.”
He pushed the spoon closer to her face and Kagome couldn’t suppress her grin. She accepted the offering and snuggled deeper into Mokomoko.
“Thank you, Sesshōmaru. This was all really thoughtful.”
“Tell me what more I can do.”
Kagome giggled as another chunk of chocolate cake appeared before her lips. She accepted again, chewing thoughtfully before speaking.
“You’ve already done way more than I even do for myself.”
“But you are in pain.”
“You’re sweet. I’ve been dealing with this pain since I was eleven, though. I’m used to it. It’s not so bad.”
“Kagome… you whimpered in your sleep. I can feel the tightening of your insides when I place my hand on your stomach. I cannot imagine that it is not horrifically painful… and there is… a lot of blood.”
“Oh… shit. Right. Yeah, I need to take care of that. I’m sorry. Must be pretty gross for you.”
“Truly? In what universe do you imagine blood of all things could possibly offend me? Have you forgotten how much of it I have spilled?”
Kagome’s eyes widened at the graphic reminder.
“Right. Yeah… I guess I did forget.”
Sesshōmaru actually snorted at her. As Kagome sat up, she noted several towels piled beneath her to prevent the sheets from resembling a crime scene.
“You thought of everything, didn’t you?”
“I wanted to help.”
Kagome smiled, eyes watering and lower lip trembling.
“You’re so sweet.”
She threw her arms around his neck, breathing in the naturally woodsy scent of him, her face buried against his shoulder, hands tangled in his hair. The rumble that built in his body was soothing, familiar, and she snuggled closer to it.
When he bundled her tighter in Mokomoko and began to carry her, Kagome’s protests were feeble. He didn’t set her down until they were in the bathroom.
“Which tea would you prefer? I will go prepare it while you wash.”
“You don’t have to do that. You’ve already done so much.”
“I insist.”
“Do… do you think you could make me shōgayu? I’m sure Jaken would love to help–”
“I will make it.”
His hand caressed her hair one more time before he wrapped Mokomoko around her shoulders and turned, closing the bathroom door behind him. Kagome’s heart felt impossibly warm. She couldn’t remember the last time anyone put so much effort into taking care of her. When she remembered when it was, she pushed the thoughts away.
Mama. After the hospital.
She suppressed a self-loathing scowl as she undressed and dealt with her stained skin and clothing. Shortly after she’d finished cleaning up after herself, a soft knock sounded on the door.
“Kagome? I have your tea. Are you decent?”
“Two seconds, I’m coming out. Just let me wash my hands.”
When Kagome opened the door, Jaken was by Sesshōmaru’s side– still wearing his concealment. The disguised imp was gingerly holding her cup of tea and before Kagome could question why he was playing servant, the daiyōkai scooped her up into his arms again and carried her back to the bedroom, Jaken trailing behind.
Kagome laughed as he set her down on the bed and began to fuss with the pillows and nest her within Mokomoko’s furry embrace. It was bizarre to see the inu behaving like a mother hen.
“Sesshōmaru. You need to calm down. I’m not injured, I’m not dying. This happens literally every month. I’ve gone through this like 200 times by now. It’s normal.”
His brow furrowed as he settled next to her, hand laying gently on her stomach.
“Your pain and the scent of injury is riling my instincts. Forgive me.”
“Oh my gods, do not apologize. You’re being amazing. Too amazing. You shouldn’t be going through so much trouble for something so trivial. I appreciate you so, so much though. You can be done now. You did good. I’m well taken care of and very, very happy.”
He seemed to settle at that, preening just a bit. Kagome grinned as she outstretched her hands, fingers beckoning for Jaken to hand her the piping hot cup of shōgayu. The miko immediately sipped it, humming contently as she snuggled back into Sesshōmaru’s fur.
“Thank you, Jaken.”
“You’re most welcome. Sesshōmaru-sama made it. I merely carried it for him. Are you feeling better, Kagome-sama?”
“Much better. You’re both fantastic. Go relax, though. I’m fine.”
Jaken nodded before departing, closing the bedroom door behind him. Sesshōmaru settled next to Kagome in bed as she scrolled through her phone, answering emails. She huffed when she came to one from her personal accountant, questioning the surge in spending for the past month. She knew the details would send them into a tizzy… since she didn’t consult with them before spending several hundred million yen. Technically… she hadn’t spent it yet … but she knew her accountant would want more than a few days notice to run the numbers. It didn’t matter, though. The property wasn’t a business venture, it was a personal project.
It was a conversation that couldn’t happen through email. She opened her contacts and scrolled to the accountant, settling back against her pillows for a long conversation. After that was done, and Kagome felt properly chastised, she made several overdue phone-calls to the many people she’d hired to manage her real estate investments. She typically made a monthly, in-person visit to her properties to make sure everything was up to par, but she hadn’t had time throughout August. September wasn’t looking much better. She owed them some phone calls and apologies and they owed her some updates. Kagome pulled a pad of paper and a pen from her end table, taking notes throughout the discussions.
Unbeknownst to her, Sesshōmaru was watching, absorbing, transfixed. He’d known powerful females, he’d seen them negotiating, working, scheming… and even the most powerful of them did not rival Kagome in fierceness. She transformed when dealing with professional matters, morphing from a gentle healer to a toughened strategist, a warrior. And still his Kagome remained– kind, soft, polite in demeanor and tone, despite the conviction, the finality of her thoughts and opinions. She was a natural commander. Had she been in charge of an army, she would have been the type of leader that was widely feared by enemies and respected by those that ranked beneath her. The daiyōkai couldn't help but think to the rag-tag group of human, hanyō, and yōkai that she'd collected during the hunt for the shards, how all who encountered her ended up endeared to the young miko. How he had ended up endeared to her since.
It was little wonder that Inuyasha had held onto hope for so long. Sesshōmaru found himself thinking that he would spend the rest of Kagome's existence holding onto the same hope that had nearly destroyed his brother... a hope that, one day, she would be his.
“That’s unacceptable, Ito-san. We’re not slumlords. You can’t let our tenants deal with this kind of stuff for an entire month. If it’s not in your budget to hire someone, never hesitate to call me directly. Do you understand? We’ll make it work. Get the repairs done. Please. Pay the extra fees for an emergency repair. Great. No, really, don’t apologize. I understand why you’d hesitate. Just know that it’s not how I run things, alright? You have my personal number now. Use it when you need to. Enjoy the rest of your Monday. We’ll talk again in a month. Shitsurei shimasu.”
Kagome disconnected the call and tossed her phone on the bed, mentally exhausted. When she met Sesshōmaru’s eyes, they were smoldering.
“What’s up?”
“I am just observing.”
“Ah. Yeah, well, one of the apartment buildings I own has apparently been without air conditioning for almost an entire month and the guy I hired to manage the place didn’t have the funds in his budget to hire someone, so he was just planning to wait until September to get it fixed. He at least gave the tenants a rent deduction for the month… but kamisama. I need a manager for my managers.”
She laughed.
“You handle yourself admirably.”
Kagome’s face heated as she chewed on her lip, forever uncomfortable with compliments.
“Thanks. I have one more phone call to make and then I’ll be quiet and let you relax.”
“If I wanted quiet I would leave the room. I enjoy watching you work.”
“This one isn’t actually work. It’s for the land. I need to set up a meeting with Satou-san so we can sign some papers and get a deposit to the property owner.”
“I see. Do you have further plans for the day?”
“Other than watching dramas and eating leftover cake?”
Kagome grinned and Sesshōmaru settled closer, remote in hand as he navigated to her favorite drama.
“I do not understand your interest in this.”
“Hey! You leave my dramas alone.”
“Hnn.”
She rested her shoulder against his as she called Satou-san. The realtor pulled through and squeezed her in for the very next day. Hopefully, the seller would be open to putting a rush on things and they’d be able to close within a week.
Kagome had been gorging herself on confections when a hesitant knock came from the other side of her bedroom door.
“It is the kit.”
Kagome called out to him over a mouthful of chocolate.
“Come in, Ship.”
“Mama? Are we–Hey! You’re having cake for breakfast?! Jaken-sama said I couldn’t have any! That’s not fair.”
“Your mother is not feeling well, kit. It is a special treat.”
Shippō frowned.
“Are you okay?” His nose worked the air as he climbed into bed. “Oh. I get it.”
Kagome flushed a brilliant scarlet.
“Wha?”
“Inuyasha explained why you and Sango smelled hurt sometimes. He said it was your version of a new moon.”
The miko blinked back her tears at the silly explanation. She wondered if she’d explained her period well enough for Inuyasha to understand back then. It was part of the reason she’d been so nervous about Sesshōmaru’s reaction. When Inuyasha first scented it on her, he was so confused he'd nearly stuck his nose up her skirt trying to figure out where the blood was coming from. She’d been mortified.
Kagome laughed, feeling the mortification all over again, guilt washing over her with the memory of sitting the poor hanyō into a crater. She buried her face in her hands.
“Kagome?”
“Inuyasha didn’t handle my first period in front of him as well as you are.”
“Ah. I see.” Sesshōmaru smirked, but Shippō’s brow furrowed.
“Period?”
“Hai, Ship. It’s what my ‘new moon’ is actually called. Just so you know, though, it’s rude to comment about it… so if you smell it on someone else you ignore it. Alright? And let’s not talk about mine in front of other people. It’s a private thing.”
“Yeah, that’s what Inuyasha said. That’s why he said it was your ‘new moon’. We had to keep it a secret.”
Kagome laughed again, a warm, nostalgic feeling gripping her chest.
I miss you, baka.
She shook off the sensation before the warmth could begin to burn, blooming from pleasant to painful.
“What’d you come in here to ask me, Ship?”
“Oh! Right. Are we still going to the park?”
“Oops. I totally forgot. Yeah, we can go. Just give me a bit. Have you had lunch yet?”
“No. I had breakfast a little while ago. I got up late.”
“I think you went into a food coma after dinner.” Kagome ruffled the kitsune’s hair. “How about we have a picnic? It’ll be like old times. I’ll even make the ‘octopus’ that you like so much.”
“Oh boy! Yes! Can Sesshōmaru-sama come?”
The kit looked expectantly between his mother and the daiyōkai.
“Of course. If he wants to.”
Shippō leaned towards Sesshōmaru, eyebrows raised in question.
“Do you wanna?”
“Hn. I will join you.”
Shippō’s grin grew wider as he bounced excitedly on the bed.
“Great! When are we going?”
“Well, let me finish this episode and then I’ll go start making some food. Once it’s finished and packed up we’ll head out. Sound good?”
“Yeah!”
His tails swished excitedly as he climbed over the footboard of the bedframe and bounded out into the living room, forgetting to close the door behind him in his excitement. Kagome rolled her eyes as she relaxed back against her pillows, head propped up on Sesshōmaru’s shoulder as they finished the episode.
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Kagome, Jaken filling in the role of her eager sous-chef, spent the following hour carefully preparing cucumber sunomono, grilled nori tamagoyaki, karaage, edamame, onigiri, fruit sandos, and–of course–‘octopus’... aka tako sausage. Sesshōmaru snorted his amusement when he finally saw what the kit had been referring to as ‘octopus’.
She elegantly packed the prepared food into bento boxes (leaving behind plenty for the rest of the yōkai to enjoy), collected Ikigai, Sesshōmaru, and Shippō and headed off in the direction of a much nicer park than the one she’d gone to with Sesshōmaru–one that actually had grass. It was farther away, but she figured the exercise would do them some good.
A little less than halfway through their walk, they were crossing Shimogoinden Bridge and Shippō had to stop to marvel at the trains below as they passed. He was wide-eyed with wonder, filled to the brim with questions.
“What are they, Mama?”
“What’s inside of them?”
“Where are they going?”
“How many are there?”
Kagome patiently explained, overjoyed by the glitter in his gaze as he took in the trains with the type of enthusiasm and disbelief that seemed to be a trait unique to children. When they’d moved on and entered a more urban area of the neighborhood, Shippō couldn’t stop looking up at the enormously tall buildings towering above them, questions continuing to assault his mind until they popped out of his mouth.
“How do humans get up there, Mama? Don’t their legs get tired?”
“Elevators, Ship.”
“Those moving stair things from yesterday?” His face pinched with horror and Kagome couldn’t hold in her laugh.
“No, those were escalators. These are elevators. They’re closed, metal boxes that people stand inside of. They move up and down from floor to floor. I’m sure we’ll need to use one eventually.”
Something else had already caught his attention before she’d even finished talking. A few minutes later, when they came to a crosswalk, he’d started to shake just at the thought of having to cross the road. Kagome was going to offer to carry him across, but she didn’t get the chance.
Sesshōmaru lifted Shippō, wordlessly setting him on his shoulders–much to the kitsune’s shock and awe. The kit remained there for the rest of the walk, both hands curled in Sesshōmaru’s illusion of short hair as he continued to look around, taking in the surroundings. Kagome couldn’t resist taking the daiyōkai’s hand in her own, squeezing it with affection.
When they finally arrived at the park, Shippō’s sights immediately set on the playground.
“Mama! Can I play?”
“After lunch, Ship. Then you can play for as long as you want.”
He brightened at the mention of food, and Kagome laid out a blanket beneath the shade of zelkova and cypress. After she unpacked their lunch, she presented the dog-friendly meal she’d prepared for Ikigai so he wouldn’t feel left out. He seemed quite pleased.
“Alright, let’s eat. Cake wasn’t enough to fill me up. I’m starving.” Kagome laughed as Shippō plopped down next to her, Sesshōmaru settling in seiza on by the kitsune’s side. The daiyōkai immediately went for the fruit sandos–of course–eyes widening with the first bite.
“Kagome… why have we been venturing to the mall to obtain these when the ones you prepare are of much higher quality?”
“What? No way. The ones from the fruit parlor are way better.”
“Nuh-uh. He’s right, Mama. All your food is better than anything we’ve gotten from other places. I love when you cook.”
Shippō shoved one of the little octopus-shaped sausages in his mouth, eyes closing in bliss as he chewed.
Kagome grinned, pleased to have her efforts appreciated.
“Thanks, guys. I’m glad you like it.”
Between the three of them, they’d eaten almost everything Kagome had made. Sesshōmaru sampled each dish without a single complaint about ‘human food’, offering the miko only the sincerest of compliments. Shippō had taken off with Ikigai as soon as he’d finished eating and Kagome was sprawled on the blanket, Sesshōmaru sitting by her head, hand idly playing with her hair as they quietly watched the kitsune and the Kishu run around together.
“You are an exceptional mother, Kagome.”
“Thanks. I try.” She shifted slightly to face the daiyōkai, whose abnormally brown eyes were watching her with great interest. “It’s not easy. I just want him to be happy. I want to give him everything.”
“You have done wonderfully. With everything he has endured… he is adjusting well and remains, for the most part, very happy.”
Kagome sat up, frowning.
“What do you mean ‘for the most part’?”
“He has nightmares on occasion. Jaken helps him through them.”
Her brow hardened.
“Why didn’t anyone tell me?”
“He does not wish you to know. I monitor him, Kagome. If it were severe enough that he required your support, I would inform you. As it is, Jaken is more than capable. I believe it helps him to heal as well, caring for another in such a way. Despite what he’d have others believe, Jaken has very strong nurturing instincts. He was the same with Rin.”
“Yeah, I’ve noticed. He’s great with Shippō. I just don’t like the idea of my son having nightmares and me not being there for him.”
“He would come to you if it was the type of comfort he needed, Kagome. I know it is hard, but perhaps he needs to confide in another that understands what was done to him.”
“I get that. You’re right, it’s hard. But I can’t talk to my family about what I went through. Not fully. I can’t expect him to if I can’t do it. I just… hope he knows he can come to me.”
“He knows. I assure you.”
“Thanks, Sesshōmaru. For telling me… and for keeping an eye on him.”
“I have grown quite fond of him. He’s exceptional. I see a lot of you in him, actually. The ability to continue on in kindness despite the atrocities he has faced.”
“When I first found him… learning that his father had died… my own died when I was around his age. Well, the human equivalent of it, anyways. I couldn’t imagine what I would’ve done without my mom. He never had the chance to know his and then his dad was murdered. He had no other family, he was living all on his own. He was mine the moment I laid eyes on him.”
Sesshōmaru’s hand settled on Kagome’s cheek, blunted thumb tracing her lower lip. He seemed poised to speak, but Shippō and Ikigai arrived with a perfectly timed interruption, forcing the daiyōkai to retract his hand.
“Mama can you watch Ikigai? I wanna go on the playground.”
“Of course. Go have fun. Stay where I can see you.”
“Haiiiii!” The kit was already bounding towards a nearby swingset as he looked over his shoulder and shouted his acknowledgement. Kagome chuckled as she laid back down, head propped up on Sesshōmaru’s knee, Ikigai’s head on her stomach as he panted on her with hot breath.
It was a solid hour of Shippō exploring the playground before he returned, tugging on Kagome’s hand.
“Come play with me, Mama.”
She stifled a groan, her period cramps encouraging her to remain in fetal position. She wouldn’t deny him, though, so she forced herself up.
“Are you okay watching Ikigai for me, Sesshōmaru?”
He nodded, running his façade of clawless fingers through the Kishu’s fur without looking up from his book.
Shippō and Kagome played on the playground for a while before settling into a game of catch, tossing a baseball back and forth.
“Ouch, Ship. Not so hard.” Kagome shook her hand out after catching the kit’s throw, which could’ve rivaled the fast ball of a professional athlete. She discreetly summoned reiki to her palm to ease the sting before tossing it back.
“Sorry, Mama.”
“It’s alright. Just mind the strength.” She whispered it low, knowing he could hear her despite the distance between them. He nodded as he tossed the ball–gentler this time. Kagome had moved to catch it when a pale hand intercepted, plucking it from the air in front of her hand.
“Go rest.”
Kagome’s brow furrowed at Sesshōmaru, who took over as Shippō’s partner in the game, throwing the baseball at breakneck speed. The kit was overjoyed, running to catch it before it hit the ground.
“Just… watch the power level, you two.”
“Hn.”
Kagome took Ikigai’s leash from Sesshōmaru’s hand and made her way back to the picnic blanket. She snuggled with the inu as she watched Sesshōmaru run Shippō ragged, standing cooly in the same spot, barely moving, as the kitsune chased the baseball all over the park. Kagome had started to doze by the time the two had finally given up the game and rejoined her. Shippō sidled up to Sesshōmaru’s side as soon as he’d taken a seat. It didn’t escape the miko’s notice when the kit grew anxious, his aura bristled with nerves. She perked up when Shippō finally spoke.
“S-Sesshōmaru-sama?”
“Yes, kit?”
“C-can I call you… can I call you ‘Papa’?”
Sesshōmaru’s eyes widened, sliding to Kagome, whose expression mirrored his own.
“Kit… I do not know if that is a good idea. Your mother may find a mate one day that you would prefer to give such an honored title to.”
Shippō’s brows furrowed in confusion.
“I… don’t understand. I thought you were her mate? You… you smell like mates do.”
Sesshōmaru sighed.
“Sesshōmaru, what does he mean?”
“He has scented our... activities. It has led him to believe that we are mated.”
Kagome stifled a mortified groan.
“Shippō… My relationship with Sesshōmaru is really complicated. He’s my alpha. Nothing more.”
“Oh…”
The kit flushed, turning away as his eyes watered.
“Shippō.” The kitsune blinked back his tears at the sound of his name, so foreign on Sesshōmaru’s tongue.
“H-hai?”
The daiyōkai’s hand clamped on the kitsune's shoulder.
“If Kagome were my mate, I would be honored to accept any title you desire to give me. As it stands, I remain proud to be your alpha, to call you pack.”
Shippō threw his arms around a very surprised Sesshōmaru, who took a moment before gently patting the boy’s head in turn.
“Now, your mother grows tired and it is a long walk home. Let’s pack up this mess for her so she may return to her bed and rest.”
“Hai, Sesshōmaru-sama!” Shippō stood, his smile still a little watery, but genuine nevertheless. Kagome tried to help them re-pack the bento boxes, but was gently chastised by Sesshōmaru, who ordered her to relax. And so she did.
The walk home was leisurely, Shippō clinging to Sesshōmaru’s back as he dozed, his head resting on the daiyōkai’s shoulder, little legs dangling from the secure hold of strong arms.
Kagome sighed happily over the passing of another perfect day.
Notes:
Rest easy, my lovely readers. The upcoming heavy angst is not related to Sess and Kag. Their relationship is (mostly) safe and cozy. (for now)
Plus, there are several chapters of Mokomoko-sama level fluff before we come to the pit of dread that has been foretold. Muahahaha!
Snuggle up while you can.PS I mention this bc I have read the concerns after reading my A/N at the end of the last chapter. I may not be replying in a timely manner but I assure you, I read and enjoy every single comment.
╔═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗
💬Discord: supsteff#0582
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Chapter 24: The Black Dog
Notes:
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-HEED THE TAGS-
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*Please note, because this story is so trauma-laden, unlike my less dark stories, NO warnings will be given in the chapter summary when a chapter will contain potentially triggering content*
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Story Info - May Contain Spoilers*
Universe:
- Pre-Episode 193 Canon Compliant
Major Divergences:
- Kagome remains in the modern era instead of returning to the Warring States period after three years.
- Canon era setting altered (Kagome’s “future” time) to take place during 2011-2012 instead of 1996-2000.
- Kagome was born in 1996 instead of 1981.
Setting:
- 21st Century, Japan; Ten years post-episode 192
Tone/Genre:
- Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance, Thriller & Suspense, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Porn, Smut
Tropes:
- Sesshoumaru's Beast, Knotting, Mating Marks, Blood Adoption Ceremony, Kagome is Shippō’s Parent, Sesshoumaru is Rin’s Parent, Alpha Sesshoumaru, Powerful Higurashi Kagome, Aging Up, Hurt Sesshoumaru
Trigger Warnings:
- Rape and Sexual Assault, Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual), Child Abuse, Self-injurious behavior, Excessive or gratuitous violence, Needles, Kidnapping (forceful deprivation of/disregard for personal autonomy), Death or dying, Pregnancy/Childbirth, Miscarriages/Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Racism (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Prejudice, Slavery (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Genocide, Concentration camps (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Suicide, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Alcohol/Drug Withdrawal, Trauma, Suicide Ideation, Scars, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Alcoholism, Nightmares about Traumatic Events, Life-Changing injury, Detailed Medical Talk, Infant Death, Graphic Deaths, Mass Death, Murder, Extreme Violence, Gore, Torture, Mutilation, Cutting of Limbs, Threatening baby/child, Violence against Children, Physical Abuse, Described Blood, Graphic Violence, Drugging Someone Against Their Will, Female Oppression, Forced Breeding, Forced Pregnancy
Fandom Warnings:
- Several Major Character Deaths
- Several Major Character Undeaths
- Several Characters OOC
Published February 20, 2023 ༻❁༺ Chapter Word Count: 6,396
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the black dog
metaphor
a way of referring to feelings of depression:
Chapter Twenty-Four
Kagome sat straight up in bed, her heart clenching painfully when she realized what had woken her. It hadn't happened since his first night in the apartment, but even in her sleep-addled state, the difference between Ikigai's sounds and Sesshōmaru's had become obvious to the miko. She watched as he tossed and turned, whimpering, face crumpled with agony. After what had happened the first time, Kagome decided against waking him through touch. She instead attempted to gently rouse him with the sound of her voice, her tone soft and soothing.
"Sesshōmaru."
More whimpering.
"Sesshōmaru. Wake up. It's Kagome. You're safe."
The whine that left him made her chest tighten. His voice came out small, scared.
"Please. No."
The desperation that Kagome heard in those two syllables nearly ripped her heart out. The mere idea of Sesshōmaru begging, the proud daiyōkai saying 'please' to those that would mean him harm... It was too much. The miko felt moisture escaping from her eyes.
One more whimper and Kagome decided she'd rather he killed her in his sleep than allow him to endure one more moment of whatever was haunting his mind. Her hand cupped his face, thumb lovingly stroking his stripes. His skin was hot, soaking wet, hair clinging to everywhere it touched. Red eyes instantly snapped open.
"Sesshōmaru?"
Those ruby depths pinned her, brow furrowing… and then he whimpered one more time. This one was different. Kagome could hear the relief in the sound. He openly, unabashedly released his tears, sobbing silently as he crawled towards her and curled into her chest. He buried his face between her breasts and nuzzled into them as if trying to force her body to absorb his. Kagome pulled Mokomoko around the daiyōkai, knowing it brought him comfort.
"You're okay. It's all okay. You're safe now. No one will ever hurt you again. I'm here, Sesshōmaru. I won't let anything happen to you."
His tears were steadily dripping onto her skin, rolling over her flesh and soaking into her shirt. She could feel him crying, his body heaving with the force of his pain… but no sound escaped beyond the occasional sharp inhalation or ragged exhale. Her hands ran through his damp hair, gently scratching over his scalp and massaging his ears as she whispered quiet reassurances. After several minutes he seemed to calm and his weary, quiet voice reached her in the dark.
"Kagome?"
"Yes?"
"The sound that you made in the shower the first night. Can… can you do that again?"
"The humming?"
"I do not know. It created vibrations in your chest."
"Mm. I think you're talking about humming. Sure. I can do that."
Kagome hummed the same song that she did that first night, the one her mother used to hum when she was little. The tension seemed to melt from Sesshōmaru almost instantaneously.
She paused when he sat up, her brow furrowing in confusion as he began undressing. Kagome almost stopped him when he started to lift the hem of her shirt, but his movements were determined and he didn't seem to have any sort of sexual intent.
He confirmed this when-as soon as he'd finished stripping himself nude and Kagome down to her sleep shorts-he positioned the miko facing him on her side and proceeded to wrap her in his arms, his face pressed just below her clavicle. Mokomoko snaked itself around them, burying their bodies within the security of his fur. Sesshōmaru’s voice was quiet, muffled from beneath it.
“Thank you.”
Kagome wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace as she resumed her humming. His familiar pur answered.
Eventually, he seemed to doze off. She continued to hum for him until she fell asleep.
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When Kagome woke up in the morning, the daiyōkai was still possessively clinging to her. Every time she tried to get up or even shift her positioning, his hold on her would tighten and he'd start shaking. Kagome found herself unable to move.
“Sesshōmaru?”
He nuzzled hard against her chest.
“Talk to me, Sesshōmaru.”
“Please.”
“Please what?”
“Just… stay with me.”
“I’ll stay as long as you need. I’m not going anywhere. I’m sorry, we don’t have to talk. I’m just worried about you.”
“Hold me.”
Kagome slid her body lower in bed, pulling his head to her throat and wrapping her arms around his back. A strong, trembling leg wrapped around her hip, arms hooked beneath hers, hands clinging to her shoulders. She stroked his sweat-slicked skin until his breathing slowed and he started to emit soft snores against her neck.
The miko watched him napping for nearly an hour before Sesshōmaru blinked back into consciousness. When his eyes met hers, his face flushed rosy and the shame visibly washed over him. Gilded orbs grew watery as he averted his gaze.
“Don’t do that. Look at me.”
Sesshōmaru forced his eyes back to Kagome’s. She could feel his heart begin to beat harder, faster in his chest.
“I…” His eyes pinched shut, the apple of his throat bobbing as he swallowed. “I thought it was real. That I was back there. Alone in the dark.”
“You’ll never be alone again, Sesshōmaru. Ever.”
His eyes clenched harder as he burrowed himself against her neck again, his voice a whisper against her skin.
“Kagome… during that time… when they left after Hoshiyomi was resurrected and before the miko returned with the onenju… I had never wanted to die prior to then. Before that period of time, through it all, everything that they did to me… I had continued fighting for my life, doing whatever I could to maintain my existence. Whatever I had to do. But… when the lights went out and things became so silent… save for the occasional screams of madness echoing in the floors above… when my body grew weak with hunger and my throat dried with thirst, when I became so lonely in my solitude that I started missing the presence of the wretched mikos… when I felt infection take hold of that contraption they’d installed upon my stomach and an incessant itch situated itself within the wound-one that I could not even see let alone scratch because my bindings prevented it-Kagome I prayed to the kami for death. I had imagined that if I were to ever meet my end it would be in glory, my sword in my hand until the last breath… not withering away in a tomb without a trace of dignity and no way to defend myself from the slow demise.”
Kagome was biting back her tears, trying her damndest to be strong for him, to be his rock.
“You survived. You’re here. And you are so strong, Sesshōmaru. Look at this.” Her hand glided between their bodies, tracing the spot where his captors had installed the botched colostomy bag–a spot that no longer held so much as a scar. “Your body is powerful. This was so… Sesshōmaru this wound was horrific. There isn’t a trace of it left. You healed through it. I can’t even begin to imagine what else this magnificent body has healed through. But you’ve done it. Your mind will heal, too. I promise. Over time everything will get easier. Look how far you’ve come in just a month. This was your first nightmare since coming here–”
“No. It was not. It was merely the first one to wake you.”
Kagome could’ve bitten her tongue off. She resisted the deep urge to smack herself on the forehead.
“I’m sorry.”
“Do not apologize. I manage.”
“You don’t have to manage on your own.”
He released her from his hold and rolled onto his back, unblinking as he stared at the ceiling.
“You have an appointment with the real-estate agent.”
It took her a moment to catch up with the sudden change of topic before checking her phone for the time.
“Shoot! You’re right… Sesshōmaru, I can reschedule–”
“No.”
The finality in his tone made the miko unable to do anything beyond nodding her understanding as she got out of bed. She took one last look at him, his hair oily and disheveled, skin glistening from his sweat. She could still feel where his flesh had stuck to her own, leaving behind a tacky residue. She’d never seen him so out of sorts. Kagome chewed her lip as she pulled up her contacts, resolved to reschedule with Satou-san. Leaving Sesshōmaru alone in his condition didn’t feel right.
“Kagome.” Her attention snapped to his scrutinizing gaze. “I said ‘no.’ I will manage. Go prepare for your appointment. Please.”
“You’re sure?”
“I am. Go.”
Kagome sighed as she slipped into her robe, gathered her clothes and padded off to the bathroom to shower. When she got out, Sesshōmaru was still sitting in the same spot in bed, staring at the wall, eyes unseeing. He clearly didn’t want her fussing over him, so she did her best to hide her concern.
She took a seat at her vanity to once again begin the long process of donning her best "I'm an adult!" costume for her appointment with Satou-san. She idly found herself wondering if the yōkai concealment charms would work on a human… and if maybe one could age her up a little.
An hour later and Kagome was painted and contoured, hair set with loose curls, body emphasized by a steel blue, silk, sleeveless pencil dress paired with a cream blazer, pumps and a clutch to match. She finished the look with expensive rose gold jewelry and a splash of perfume–which she applied outside to spare her yōkai roommates' sensitive noses.
She returned to her bedroom for one more look at herself… and her catatonic bedmate. Sesshōmaru had finally stopped staring at the wall, eyes instead roaming over her figure.
“You are beautiful, Kagome. That color suits you.”
“Thank you.” The miko flushed as she looked down at her feet before taking a seat on the bed next to the daiyōkai. “I don’t want to keep pestering you, but are you sure you’ll be okay?”
“Miko. I will be fine. You have more important things to worry about right now.”
“There is nothing in my life more important than you.”
She’d said the words before processing them and instantly felt her body flush hot beneath the admission.
“Do you truly mean that, Kagome?”
She realized… Yes, she did mean it. Kagome squared her shoulders and looked him in the eye.
“Besides Shippō? Yes.”
He sighed, deep and long, before rolling over and burying himself in Mokomoko, mumbling to her from beneath the fur.
“You should go. You will be late.”
Kagome moved the pelt enough to see his face.
“You know, Sesshōmaru, sometimes it’s okay to stay in your pajamas and wallow in bed for the day. Just thought I’d mention that.” She leaned and kissed his temple. “You’re gonna be okay.”
When she moved to stand, his hand shot out from beneath the blankets and caught her wrist.
“Thank you.”
Kagome smiled.
“I’ll be home soon, okay?”
He nodded before burrowing back beneath the covers.
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
The meeting with Satou-san was long and boring but went by without a hitch. By the end of the second hour in the agent’s office, all the necessary documents were notarized and Kagome handed over an obscene amount of earnest money. All the miko could think about was getting back home to check on Sesshōmaru.
She had to stop for groceries beforehand to top off their pantry essentials–which, lately, had included a bottle of saké for Hachi. Since she was already there, she decided to buy the ingredients to make some fruit parfaits, too. She thought Sesshōmaru could use the pick-me-up.
As soon as she stepped inside of the apartment, Shippō and Ikigai came flying from the guest-room, both jumping with excitement over her return. The kit relieved her of her shopping bags, setting them on the coffee table before climbing up her body and snuggling her neck.
“I missed you, Mama.”
“I missed you too, kiddo.” Kagome kissed his cheek as her free hand stroked Ikigai’s ears.
“It’s quiet in here, Ship. Where is everyone?”
“Watching TV.”
“Oh. Well, alright then. They usually watch out here.”
“Yeah…”
“What aren’t you telling me?”
The kit chewed his lip nervously before leaning in close to Kagome’s ear, whispering so quietly she could barely hear it.
“Sesshōmaru-sama is in a bad mood.”
“Ah. Well, I’ll go see if I can fix that. You go watch TV, okay?”
He gave her a wet kiss on the cheek before bounding back to rejoin the others. Kagome sighed as she kicked off her stilettos.
It was concerning enough that Sesshōmaru was behind the closed door of her bedroom. Alone.
His aura was tight around him, keeping Kagome from being able to sense anything about his emotional state. He was sitting in the center of the bed, his back facing her, hair falling down his naked back and nesting in a silver pile behind him. It was still stringy and oily from the tossing, turning, and sweating.
“Sesshōmaru?”
“Hn?”
Kagome stepped around the side of the bed and found him holding Bakusaiga, claws running along it reverently.
“What’chya doin?”
“I was meditating. It had been a long time.”
“Hmmm.” Kagome hummed low in her throat as she retreated to her closet. She rummaged through it for a while before tossing a pair of Sesshōmaru’s sweatpants and one of his T-shirts at him. “Get dressed. Then come with me. Bring Bakusaiga. Oh! And don’t forget your ring!”
He looked at her questioningly, but stood up and started dressing nonetheless.
The miko closed her closet door as she changed into yoga capris, a sports bra, and a loose fitting drop armhole tank top. Kagome piled her hair on top of her head as she left the closet, training shoes in hand. Sesshōmaru was dressed and waiting for her, awkwardly clutching Bakusaiga as if he didn’t know what to do with it. She grinned at him before returning to her closet, re-emerging with a leather holster belt that–if he wore it on the last notch–she’d hoped would fit the daiyōkai. He looked at her, puzzled, as she fit the belt around his waist. Kagome was surprised to find that it fastened at the second-to-last notch.
“Bakusaiga goes here.”
The miko tapped the two-buckle frog holster settled at Sesshōmaru’s side.
“Hn.”
After he’d slid the sword into the holster, Kagome retrieved Tetsusaiga, grabbed the daiyōkai's hand, and led him to her car. He was quiet until they’d been driving for a solid ten minutes.
“Miko, where are you taking me?”
“Somewhere I should’ve taken you a long time ago. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it until today. There's just been so much going on.”
As they pulled up in front of her family shrine, Sesshōmaru’s confusion only grew.
“Kagome, are you well? You have taken me here several times.”
“Ah, but you didn’t get the full tour, did you?”
Her grin widened as the furrow of confusion between his brow grew deeper still. The miko hopped out of her car, Tetsusaiga in hand, and sprinted halfway up the steps, turning and bouncing on the balls of her feet, her smile blinding.
“Come on, you old dog. You can move faster than that.”
“What has gotten into you, onna?”
“Too many questions. Come on.”
She turned on a heel and continued up the steps and through the courtyard, past the well-house, the office, and the shrine, stopping only once she came to the tree-line of the small patch of surrounding wilderness that had been preserved as part of the shrine’s grounds. As they stepped into the forest, she heard Sesshōmaru’s breath hitch at her side.
“What is this power?”
“The same power I’ll be putting around our home, Sesshōmaru. This is where I come to train.”
Noticing the massive structure for the first time, Sesshōmaru blinked his gaze away from Kagome, lips parting ever-so-slightly as he marveled over the sprawling, single-story, traditional Japanese building.
“What is this place?”
“It’s my dōjō. I had it built so I could train without my powers drawing attention. It's hidden behind several barriers. I can’t go shooting off reiki-fueled arrows in front of people. I also wanted to have a little piece of the past with me. I kept the architecture mostly 16th century inspired. It has modern amenities, though. Come on, I’ll show you around.”
Kagome led the daiyōkai up the concrete steps, onto the engawa, and through the heavy, wooden, fortress-style doors.
Beyond the doors lay a large, open room of wood and tatami. Kagome wasn’t surprised when Sesshōmaru’s gaze instantly landed on the northern wall. He moved so quickly it looked as if he'd teleported before he began to levitate, hand running along the painting hanging above the tokonoma.
“I don’t understand.”
“They’re just paintings I did.”
“You painted these?”
“Mhm. It was something therapeutic that I got into after… after my stay in the hospital.”
“This… this is my true form.” His eyes were riveted to the massive painting depicting the battle between the group and Magatsuhi.
“Mhm. You earned Bakusaiga during that fight. I… I can’t say if the details of the painting are very accurate. I didn’t actually get to see it. It’s only what Inuyasha told me after I woke up.”
“Why paint this battle?”
“I don’t know, really. I guess I just think back to that day a lot… the way Inuyasha put aside his pride and showed his concern for you–his big brother. Everything that happened over that day and the next… it was the beginning of so many changes. For all of us.”
As his gaze continued to scan over the shomen, Sesshōmaru’s attention snapped to the tapestry to the left of the tokonoma.
“Tenseiga.”
“And Tetsusaiga is on the other side.”
The daiyōkai’s attention turned the tapestry opposite of the one that had caught his attention, the ghost of a sigh leaving his lips. His hand traced over the faces bracketed between the tapestries of his father’s fangs–Midoriko, Kōga, Ginta, Hakkaku, Myōga, Tōtōsai, Kikyō, Kaede, Shippō, Inuyasha, Miroku, Sango, Kirara, Kohaku, Hachi, Jinenji, and… Rin. Sesshōmaru paused there before he continued on over his own–humanoid–portrait, stopping on the final painting, which depicted a woman he didn’t recognize. He turned his regard back to Kagome.
“Why me? Why Rin?”
“We never would have defeated Naraku without you… and I don’t think you ever would’ve become the powerful daiyōkai that stood with us in the end had it not been for Rin. I remember when I first noticed her following you… how much you changed. You're both up there to remind me of the importance of compassion… and… honestly, it’s a sort of memorial. I… thought you were all dead. I wanted to keep your memory alive. History forgot about yōkai, about what all of us did to save the world from Naraku. I couldn’t let you be forgotten. Not as long as I’m alive.”
He glanced between the paintings and the miko one last time.
“I do not recognize the woman whose face comes after Rin’s.”
Kagome looked to the portrait of Hitomiko.
“She was a miko that Naraku had tried to use to taint my soul. Instead, she helped me unlock a piece of myself that I didn’t know existed.”
“Hn.”
Gently, Sesshōmaru set down on his feet in front of the shomen, his claw tracing the bow displayed at its center.
“It’s the Sacred longbow of Mount Azusa. It’s the one I used when we fought Naraku.”
“Why have you brought me here, miko?”
Kagome released a long exhale as she moved to stand next to Sesshōmaru. She removed the katana displayed on a stand beneath the sacred bow, replacing it with Tetsusaiga.
“You can do whatever you want. I just wanted your company. I’ve been neglecting my training since I found the bunker. I thought I’d show you this place since I was heading here anyways. The training dummies over there are reiki-enchanted. Bakusaiga won’t be able to break them. Feel free to try, though.”
Kagome grinned as she made her way to a supply room to store the katana she’d removed from the shomen and retrieve an iaitō. Sesshōmaru watched as the miko worked her way through the twelve iaidō katas. The daiyōkai had removed his concealment ring and joined her when she started a second run-through. Kagome suppressed a smile and focused on her movements.
After completing the iaidō katas, she once again went to her supply room to exchange her iaitō for a quiver of arrows, a longbow, and a shortbow. Meanwhile, Sesshōmaru continued on through several katas that the miko didn’t recognize. Her mouth went dry as she watched him, hair knotted on top of his head, chest naked as he fluidly performed some sort of martial-art, his muscles flexing as he exercised perfect control over his body. Kagome forced her feet to carry her outside before she ended up distracting him.
The miko stepped into her kyūdō range, breathing the fresh air beneath the purity of her barrier and enjoying the silence within her little slice of nature. She relaxed in the summer breeze for several minutes before falling into the familiar steps of her kyūdō hassetsu. Once finished, she traded her daikyū for her hankyū to practice shooting in the shihan mato style, a technique that she resorted to when she was in need of relaxation… and that day, she was in desperate need. Plus, she didn’t want to overdo it. She hadn’t trained in a month and she was still suffering with cramps from her period. Kagome had been shooting targets and retrieving her spent arrows with a whip of reiki for nearly an hour when an arrow flew by her, splitting her own that she had yet to retrieve from the bullseye.
“Hey! There are more targets, yaknow!”
“But I wanted to impress you.”
Kagome laughed as Sesshōmaru settled behind her.
“Well, you succeeded. I didn’t know you were into archery.”
“I am not. I was trained in all common Japanese weapons from the time of my youth. I had not picked up a bow since the fifteenth century.”
“Show-off.”
“Always.” He was grinning as he leaned over her shoulder, nuzzling her neck, his voice quiet in her hair. “Thank you, Kagome.”
“You’re welcome. Any time you want to come here just let me know. I was actually thinking of letting Hōjō use the space for therapy with everyone. The apartment isn’t private enough to hold sessions.”
“I think that is an excellent idea.” She heard him inhale against her neck before he pulled back, settling on his elbows against the engawa.
Kagome glanced behind her and had to clench her thighs. He was sprawled out in a patch of sun, face tilted to the sky, still shirtless and glistening. He sighed deeply, entirely unaware of the effect he was having on the miko.
“On days like these I miss my kiseru.”
“You smoked?”
“Hnn.”
“I can’t picture that. What did you smoke?”
“Yōkai-grown kizami.”
“Hm. What’s the difference between yōkai-grown and human-grown?”
“Quality, obviously. Humans are inferior in everything they do.”
Kagome turned to glare at him before noting the adorable grin he was wearing, fang peeking over his lip, one eye cracked open as he awaited her response.
“Asshole.”
Sesshōmaru only chuckled.
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
After they’d finished in the dōjō, Kagome and Sesshōmaru made their way over to the miko’s childhood home to visit her family. She waved to her grandfather as they passed the shrine where the old man stood, diligently sweeping the steps. He returned the gesture with a smile before continuing on with his task.
When they opened the front door, Kagome backpedaled, pushing Sesshōmaru back outside.
“My brother’s friend is here. Put your ring back on.”
The daiyōkai huffed, but did as she asked. They continued on into the house, Kagome waving at her brother and his friend, who were playing video games in the living room. Sōta’s attention barely shifted from the TV as he offered a noncommittal grunt in greeting. Mrs. Higurashi was much more enthusiastic when she noticed their presence.
“Kagome! Sesshōmaru! What a nice surprise! Are the others with you, as well?”
“Hi, Mama. No, just me and Sesshōmaru. We thought we’d come say hi after we got done training in the dōjō.”
“Well, we’re always happy to have you. Both of you.” She looked pointedly to Sesshōmaru, who offered a slight incline of his head in turn. Niya turned back to Kagome, her smile warm and inviting. “Will you be staying for dinner?”
“You know, that sounds nice. I was gonna take a shower. We’ll see how we’re feeling afterwards and I’ll let you know, okay?”
“Of course, dear. You know there’s always plenty.”
“I’d hug you but I’m kind of gross right now. I’ll give you one after I shower.”
“I certainly won’t object to that. Enjoy your shower!”
“Thanks, Mama.”
Kagome took Sesshōmaru’s hand as they made their way to the bathroom.
“How do you feel about staying for dinner? I haven’t seen much of my family this past month. I usually have a weekly dinner with them and spend the night here. If you’re not up to it, though, I can come back tomorrow.”
“I would not mind staying if that is your desire.”
“Great! Well, let’s shower and then we’ll tell Mama we’re staying. We usually watch a movie after and then play cards or board games. If you’re not up for that, we can go home after dinner.”
“You would usually stay overnight, yes?”
“Mhm.”
“We will stay, then.”
“Oh, you don’t have to–”
“I wish to.”
Kagome nodded, smiling as she stepped into the shower, Sesshōmaru right behind her.
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
Sōta grimaced as the miko and the daiyōkai entered the kitchen.
“Gross. Did you shower together?”
Kagome blanched. She hadn’t even considered what it might look like to her family. She’d gotten so used to showering with Sesshōmaru that she hadn’t thought twice about it.
“Sōta, will you set the table, dear? We’ll need the table-top burner tonight.”
Her brother continued to scowl at Sesshōmaru as he noisily got up and did as his mother asked. Kagome tried to ignore his attitude and make polite conversation.
“Where’d your friend go, Sōta?”
“Home."
Kagome sighed. She'd been dreading it, but she needed to have a talk with her brother.
“Sōta. Outside. With me. Now.” She placed a hand on Sesshōmaru’s, rubbing soothing circles against his thumb. “I’ll be right back.”
The daiyōkai nodded as he took a seat at the table and the miko dragged her little brother deep into the shrine’s courtyard, well beyond Sesshōmaru’s hearing… and then threw up a barrier for good measure.
“What is your problem?”
“My problem, nee-chan? Really?”
“Yeah, your problem! You’ve gotta stop treating Sesshōmaru so… awful. Please. You can’t imagine what he’s been through.”
“Yeah? What about what he put you through, huh?”
“Sōta, you don’t even know what you’re talking about.”
“Kagome, did you know I used to have nightmares about some of the stuff Inuyasha told me? Did you know that his older brother was one of those nightmares? I used to wake up sweating and shaking after dreaming of you being eaten by a giant, poisonous dog. Now he’s sitting at our kitchen table like nothing happened. You used to jump into that stupid well and disappear for weeks at a time and just leave us all behind to wonder what the fuck had happened to you! Did you ever think about how we felt?”
“No, Sōta, you know what, I didn’t. I was a fifteen year old kid thrown into a fucking mess. Do you ever think about how I felt? What I went through? I’m sorry you worried. And gods am I sorry for what I put you through, what I exposed you to afterwards. We… we’ve never talked about it–”
“I don’t want to talk about it!”
Kagome sighed, running her hands over her face.
“Then what do you want to talk about? Because clearly, we’re long overdue for some sort of conversation. I’ve never seen you treat anyone as poorly as you’re treating him.”
“He tried to kill you.”
“So did Inuyasha.”
“Wh-what?”
“Yeah. And Sango. And Miroku stole my bike. Shippō tried stealing the Shikon. I had a friend named Kōga that kidnapped me and don't even get me started on Hoshiyomi. It was a dangerous time, Sōta. I’ve joked about it with several people who’ve since apologized for attempts on my life… but it’s true. Almost everyone I ever met in that era tried to hurt me in some way. Sesshōmaru was dealing with a lot back then… and he and Inuyasha didn’t exactly see eye-to-eye. Did Inuyasha tell you that he cut Sesshōmaru’s arm off on that same day that you keep talking about? Or that he later almost killed him with the Wind Scar? They were both idiots fighting over their stupid inheritance. In the end they were okay. Sōta… do you remember the place I took you? The one where Papa used to take me before he passed away?”
“The unagi place?”
“Yeah. I took Inuyasha there a few times. He knew how special it was to me. He shared it with Sesshōmaru when he saw it open in the 1700s. They were close, Sōta. They forgave each other. Inuyasha wouldn’t want you treating his brother like this.”
“I… I was angry with him for Inuyasha. I couldn’t imagine how I’d feel if you tried to kill me… I didn’t… I didn’t know. I didn’t realize how complicated it was. Jeez. I feel like an asshole.”
“You’ve been acting like one.”
Kagome smirked as she playfully shoved Sōta’s shoulder.
“Yeah, make me feel worse why don’t ya? Alright. I’ll apologize. Kagome… about… about that night. When I found you. I’ve never blamed you for that, you know. That’s why I didn’t want to talk about it. I get it. I understand you were going through a lot. I know I was just a little kid back then… but I mean… I’m not stupid. I know what happened, even if no one would explain it. I’ve only ever worried about you, nee-chan. But you have nothing to feel guilty about. I just… I wish you’d talk to me, ya know? I’m not a kid anymore. I can be here for you.”
Kagome deflated, sighing.
“I’m sorry. You’re right. You’re not a kid.” She grinned, reaching up to ruffle his hair despite his attempts to swat her hand away. “Look at you! You’re taller than me now. I just… I never wanted to burden you. I already put enough on your shoulders, letting you find me like that–”
“Hey. You didn’t let me find you at all. You never meant for that to happen. You were just hurting. It doesn’t matter. I’m glad I found you, that I wasn’t too late. I love you, Sis. I’ve always looked up to you and honestly… how far you’ve come, I think you’re pretty kick-ass to have come back from all that. I know a lot of people from high school that never did get their shit together after struggling like you did and they probably didn’t have to go through half of the stress that the Shikon Miko dealt with.” He gave her a playful elbow to the shoulder before pulling her into a hug. “Come’re. I’m glad we talked. I’m really sorry for how I’ve acted. I just… I worry for you and also just… can’t imagine wanting to seriously kill each other. I guess yōkai are different, huh?”
Kagome snorted.
“I think it was more of a Sesshōmaru and Inuyasha thing, not a yōkai thing. I met a few yōkai siblings that weren’t constantly trying to murder each other. Anyways, let’s go see if Mama needs help. Just… no more picking on the daiyōkai, okay?”
He kept his arm around Kagome’s shoulders as they made their way back to the house.
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll be nice. Might be fun to try and teach him how to play video games. Shippō sure loved them.”
“Yeah, about that… I wanted to talk to you about this ‘Yukina’ from one of the Alive or Dead games…”
“Oh…”
Sōta laughed as he nervously rubbed the back of his neck.
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
“Wait… so Shippō turned you into her? He can do that?”
“He can. His henge abilities are incredibly advanced, especially for one so young. Hachi has been furthering his education in transformations. You should ask him to demonstrate, I am most certain he will be eager to show you his abilities.”
Kagome smiled from the kitchen as she listened to Sōta and Sesshōmaru discussing Shippō’s concealment ring trick. Sesshōmaru was eager to bond with Sōta and had hesitantly accepted the invitation to play video games. Sōta was surprised by how quickly the daiyōkai caught on. Kagome was not.
The miko had been helping her mother prepare the ingredients for shabu-shabu, slicing and dicing produce as Mrs. Higurashi labored over the stove. Once they had a beautiful array of thinly sliced pork and beef, vegetables, and sauces ready, everyone gathered around the table. Sesshōmaru watched with great interest as Kagome demonstrated how to cook the meats in the kombu dashi-filled donabe.
After he’d observed for several minutes, Sesshōmaru insisted on cooking the rest of Kagome’s meat for her. She didn’t quite have the heart to tell him that cooking it herself was her favorite part of shabu-shabu. He seemed overly pleased to be doing something for her, barely eating anything in favor of filling her plate. When he’d yet to try any of the food, Kagome started cooking a slice of pork for him, pushing the meat-laden chopsticks towards his mouth until he accepted her offering. He huffed indignantly before finally taking the bite, a slight blush coloring his cheeks as Kagome force-fed him like a toddler. After finally tasting it, though, he was less resistant and Kagome found herself piling his plate just as thoroughly as he had piled hers.
His hand found its way into her own at some point, clutching her fingers, his thumb tracing soft circles against hers. Every time she looked at him he was as close to smiling as she’d ever seen, his lips almost upturned as he happily engaged in conversation with her family.
After dinner, they all migrated to the living room to watch a movie. Kagome and Sesshōmaru settled in together like it was routine, sitting close to one another, the daiyōkai wrapping his fur around the miko, both oblivious of Mrs. Higurashi's observations.
Sōta abandoned everyone after the movie, leaving Kagome, Sesshōmaru, Mrs. Higurashi, and Grandpa Higurashi to break out the hanafuda cards for a few games of karuta. Kagome and Sesshōmaru continued playing long after everyone else went to bed. It was nearly midnight before the duo finally retired.
Once in Kagome’s bedroom, the miko had started to change into her pajamas. Sesshōmaru stopped her.
“Kagome… I know this is unusual for a human… but… could we possibly sleep skin-to-skin again? As we did last night?”
“O-oh. Uhm. Sure.”
“Thank you. I cannot tell you how comforting it was.”
“Of course. I’m not exactly shy around you by this point.” Kagome laughed, contradicting herself as she averted her eyes when Sesshōmaru began to strip.
He was respectful, taking care to not make Kagome uncomfortable, Mokomoko acting as a barrier between the more private parts of their bodies. His chest pressed firmly against her back, arms wrapped tight around her as his nose drew soft, gentle circles behind her ear. His voice was soft, breath warm against her skin.
“Thank you for today, Kagome. Thank you for everything you have done for me. I grow more at peace with each passing day. You have consistently helped me regain myself, piece by piece. I have hope to one day be whole again.”
Kagome gasped when his lips pressed against her flesh, planting a soft, chaste kiss right above the pulse point behind her ear. Before she could contain it, she groaned, arching into him. His breath hitched as his own groan left his chest, his hips pressing forward against the arch of her backside.
“Kagome.”
“I-I’m sorry. It was a reaction… I… remember when you said your neck was an ‘erogenous zone’? Uhm… behind my ear–”
“I understand. Forgive me.”
He shifted his weight until there was distance between his hips and hers.
“Do… do you need–”
“No, miko. Not tonight. I only wish to sleep with you in my arms.”
He breathed a contented sigh against her hair, nuzzling his face where a nest of it had piled against her neck.
“Sesshōmaru?”
“Yes?”
“You’re my best friend. I’ve never felt so close to anyone. I’m so happy to have you in my life.”
Sesshōmaru hummed happily, pulling her closer.
“Likewise, little miko. I would endure all of my hardships again so long as I end up here with you in the end.”
Kagome’s eyes widened as his nose traced along her shoulder, settling in the crook of her neck with several deep inhalations.
“Don’t say that.”
“It is the truth. You are worth all of it. You were right when you said I would heal. I will. And I will be whole once more with the added benefit of having obtained your companionship. Perhaps we would not be here together, close as we are, if not for what happened to me.”
“Sesshōmaru, I would give my life to go back and prevent it all from happening to you. I would give anything–”
He snarled as his hold on her tightened further.
“I do not even wish to imagine a world without you in it.”
“Well I don’t want to imagine a world where you suffer.”
“Let us not imagine these things, then. Go to sleep, Kagome. I am here with you and it is because of you that I suffer no longer. I will always be grateful for that.”
Kagome hummed her agreement as she snuggled deeper into the daiyōkai’s embrace. Sesshōmaru purred as he nuzzled into the miko’s neck. They both drifted off into a much-needed peaceful night’s sleep.
Chapter 25: Experience is the Mother of Wisdom
Notes:
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-HEED THE TAGS-
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*Please note, because this story is so trauma-laden, unlike my less dark stories, NO warnings will be given in the chapter summary when a chapter will contain potentially triggering content*
🎁REGARDING THE GIFTING STATUS OF THIS STORY🎁
- so, it's been brought to my attention that in gifting the story as a whole, the receivers were notified that this chapter was the gift. That's not the case. I had added a little note to the beginning of chapter one that explains the gift and I assumed that would be the first place someone would look for a note. Since AO3 decided to tell you guys it was this chapter, though, I now have to leave a note here directing you to my original note. 😅 sorry!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
*Story Info - May Contain Spoilers*
Universe:
- Pre-Episode 193 Canon Compliant
Major Divergences:
- Kagome remains in the modern era instead of returning to the Warring States period after three years.
- Canon era setting altered (Kagome’s “future” time) to take place during 2011-2012 instead of 1996-2000.
- Kagome was born in 1996 instead of 1981.
Setting:
- 21st Century, Japan; Ten years post-episode 192
Tone/Genre:
- Action/Adventure, Drama, Humor, Romance, Thriller & Suspense, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Porn, Smut
Tropes:
- Sesshoumaru's Beast, Knotting, Mating Marks, Blood Adoption Ceremony, Kagome is Shippō’s Parent, Sesshoumaru is Rin’s Parent, Alpha Sesshoumaru, Powerful Higurashi Kagome, Aging Up, Hurt Sesshoumaru
Trigger Warnings:
- Rape and Sexual Assault, Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual), Child Abuse, Self-injurious behavior, Excessive or gratuitous violence, Needles, Kidnapping (forceful deprivation of/disregard for personal autonomy), Death or dying, Pregnancy/Childbirth, Miscarriages/Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Racism (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Prejudice, Slavery (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Genocide, Concentration camps (involving a fictional race [yōkai]), Suicide, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Alcohol/Drug Withdrawal, Trauma, Suicide Ideation, Scars, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Alcoholism, Nightmares about Traumatic Events, Life-Changing injury, Detailed Medical Talk, Infant Death, Graphic Deaths, Mass Death, Murder, Extreme Violence, Gore, Torture, Mutilation, Cutting of Limbs, Threatening baby/child, Violence against Children, Physical Abuse, Described Blood, Graphic Violence, Drugging Someone Against Their Will, Female Oppression, Forced Breeding, Forced Pregnancy
Fandom Warnings:
- Several Major Character Deaths
- Several Major Character Undeaths
- Several Characters OOC
Published June 1, 2023 ༻❁༺ Chapter Word Count: 7,542
⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅
Experience is the Mother of Wisdom
proverb
Most wisdom is gained by experiencing different things (compared to acquiring knowledge through schooling or other means):
Chapter Twenty-Five
Kagome blinked her eyes open, vision blurry as they adjusted to the summer sunshine filtering in through her bedroom window. She watched as the soft breeze wafted through the partially open sash, blowing the curtains inwards like a long, hot exhale of flower-scented breath, the fabric settling against the window-frame with each inhale of the retreating wind. When Kagome stretched languidly back against Sesshōmaru, his arms tightened around her, pulling her closer to his body as he nuzzled her shoulder.
"Mmm. Good morning, Sesshōmaru."
"Good morning, miko. Did you sleep well?"
"Best nights sleep I've had in a while. You?"
"I cannot recall the last time I slept so soundly. This… it is the inuyōkai way. Pack sleeping. Skin-to-skin with nothing but pelts. It has been a very long time since I have slept in such a manner. It is incredibly soothing."
"It really is. I… I've never slept 'skin-to-skin'. I did sleep with my parents when I was little, though. With clothes on. It's nice to not sleep alone… and… I feel safe in your arms."
His grip on her grew stronger.
"I feel safe with you in my arms, Kagome."
The miko grinned as she rolled over to face him, giggling when he brushed his nose against hers.
"We should get up. I'm sure Mama already has breakfast ready."
"Hn. Yes, I can smell it. Your mother is a wonderful cook. I can see where you inherited such talent."
"Oh, stop. I'm nowhere near as good as Mama–"
"I beg to differ. You make human food enjoyable. Then again, this is not surprising. You make everything enjoyable."
Kagome's smile slowly faded to a concerned frown as she looked into his glimmering eyes.
"Sesshōmaru… what are we doing?"
"Surviving. Do not overthink this, Kagome. This past week… spending time with you, with Shippō… I have felt happier than I have in a very, very long time. You have been happier, too. Allow us this, whatever this may be. It matters not. We care for one another. That is all. We are pack. I will not pressure you for anything more."
His hand came up to brush a piece of hair behind her ear, twirling its end around his finger. Kagome worried her lower lip before nodding, acknowledging the truth behind most– if not all –of his words. She couldn't bring herself to contemplate the direction their relationship had recently taken… not when it was making them both so happy. They were comfortable. She wouldn't ruin it by thinking too much about the potential repercussions. So with a deep breath, the miko stuffed her head back into the sand and got dressed, all worries far from her mind.
As they descended the stairs, Kagome's human nose finally detected the wonderful smells that Sesshōmaru had mentioned. Her mother had prepared a tantalizing spread of spam, eggs, rice, and soup. The family sat down for breakfast and for the first time since she was a teenager, the miko felt content in her family home.
Visiting had grown difficult since the well rejected her, especially after nearly dying inside of it. The shrine had become tainted with negative memories, the bad overshadowing the good. With Sesshōmaru by her side, the light he brought to her life illuminated what she hadn't been able to see. She still had her family on her side of the well… despite the many lost to its other side. Since finding the bunker, the hole those losses left had been filled with rekindled relationships–and new ones. Kagome could feel a change, a shift in her life that set her on a more reliable path towards happiness and contentment.
Even if the course was consistently derailed along the way.
When a timid knock resonated against the front door, Sesshōmaru froze for several seconds before standing and instantly closing the distance between the family table and the source of the knock. Everyone watched with confusion as the daiyōkai nearly pulled the door off of its hinges as he tore it open and fell to his knees…until he pulled Shippō through the open doorway and into a fiercely protective hug. His voice didn't betray the panic that his body language failed to mask.
"You are alone?"
The kit nodded, face crumpling as he started to cry. Kagome was by their side in an instant, joining Sesshōmaru on her knees to inspect her son.
"Ship, you walked all the way here? By yourself?"
"Y-you didn't come home. You said you'd be back. But you didn't come back."
"Oh, sweetheart. I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. This wasn't planned. I'm not used… I'm not used to having to tell anyone where I am. Gods. That's no excuse."
She rubbed her hands over her face, shame and failure threatening to eat her alive as she met watery, green eyes.
"You forgot about me."
"No, baby. I didn't–"
"You did! You would've come home if you didn't. I… I was scared. I thought…"
When he started to openly sob, Sesshōmaru pulled him tighter against his chest, his voice soft against the boy’s hair.
"Do the others know that you left?"
"No. They wouldn't have let me. I had to. I was worried. It was late–"
Kagome bit back a sob of her own as she reached for her son, her heart breaking when he shied away from her, nuzzling deeper into Sesshōmaru’s arms. A sharp pang resonated in her gut, a bittersweet mixture of rejection and relief that he had someone other than her to take comfort from.
"Shippō, I can't apologize enough. I feel terrible."
The tension was palpable as Kagome floundered, her mind blanking on how to fix it, how to make him feel better when she was the cause of his sadness. Sesshōmaru offered a sympathetic glance in Kagome's direction as he stood with the kit, cradling the small, sniffling human façade against his chest. He released a rumble that calmed Shippō instantly, emerald eyes lulling closed as the daiyōkai settled on the couch, pale claws gently stroking through red tresses. The soothing vibrations continued, Sesshōmaru's own eyes closing as the kitsune slept in his arms.
Mrs. Higurashi had risen, standing behind her daughter and placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Niya gestured for Kagome to join her outside, and together the two women walked in silence towards the shrine's courtyard. Once there, they continued along an aimless, leisurely path around the grounds, the summer sun bearing down heavily alongside Kagome’s guilt. Eventually, Niya sighed.
"Being a mother isn't easy, Kagome. It's a big responsibility… and you've had it thrust into your lap without any time to adjust. You're bound to make mistakes."
"This was a colossal mistake, Mama. He spent all night walking here by himself. He's just a little boy–"
"Well, that's not quite true though, is it? A little boy wouldn't have had the courage or stamina to make it all that way. He walked what… fifteen kilometers? I assume he doesn't know how to use trains or buses, ne?"
"No. He doesn't. He said he left last night."
"How on earth did he even know how to get here?"
"He's canine yōkai, Mama. He has built-in navigation. He knows where Edo was. He knows where the Goshinboku was. He lived here for centuries. It was his home long before it was ours."
"My goodness. It's an amazing thing, isn't it? He looks so young."
"He is young. He's still developing and he's doing it way slower than a human does. He lost both of his parents and has been through hell. If he lost me… Mama I messed up."
"You did. And he'll forgive you. Don't give him reason to stop trusting that his forgiveness will be remembered."
"I don't think he's ever been this upset with me. Thank kami for Sesshōmaru. Did you see how easily he calmed him? I…I froze. I had no idea what to do."
Niya took a deep breath as her hands folded behind her back, her expression thoughtful as she cast her gaze to the sky.
"Sesshōmaru only followed his instincts, dear. You need to trust your own. Raising you and your brother without your father was certainly challenging at times. Sometimes I felt like I wasn't enough. Whenever I doubted myself, though, I pushed through and followed those blessed motherly instincts. Each time, I re-learned that I could be enough for you both. That I was enough. You kids needed me more than ever after going through so much grief. You have to be strong. For him. Everything is for him if you're serious about being his mother…and I know that you are. Your motherly instincts have always been strong. Trust them. All he needs right now is comfort and reassurance."
Kagome stopped walking and pulled her mother into a hug.
"You have always been enough, Mama. So much more than enough."
"There, you see? And trust me, dear, I felt like I was failing you more than my fair share of the time. Don't be too hard on yourself when you make a mistake. Just learn from it and do better in the future. If you don't, then your son will be the one to learn from your mistakes… and, Kagome… you won't like the lessons he learns."
Kagome nodded, sniffing back her tears, ready to pull up her big-girl pants and play the part of parent as opposed to flailing child. She released Niya from her embrace, still nodding her self-reassurance. She froze mid-nod when her mother next spoke.
"Now… let's talk about Sesshōmaru."
"What about him?"
Niya cocked a rare, playful eyebrow.
"Are we going to pretend that you two aren't madly in love with each other?"
"Mama! No! It's…it's not like that. He… he's my friend–"
Niya laughed.
"Oh, Kagome. You've always been such a terrible liar to everyone but yourself. If you're not ready to admit it…fine. But don't you string that man along. He is more than aware of his feelings for you."
"No, he's not. He's…he's confused–"
"Ah. So that's it, then? You're afraid?"
"What? No! Stop! He just… Mama he's like my patient–"
Niya placed both hands on Kagome’s face, cradling it in her palms as she leveled the miko with a stern set to her brow.
"Kagome. Patients do not share showers and beds with their caregivers. They do not feed each other, they do not laugh and cuddle together. He is not your patient."
"No…but he needs me. He needs me like a patient does. And I know I've abused that…but…I…"
The miko's lip quivered as she deflated right back into the role of flailing child, her big-girl pants falling down around her ankles, right over her mother's too-big, stolen high heels. She wondered if she'd ever stop feeling like a little girl playing dress-up.
"Come here, sweet girl. It will all work out."
Niya pulled Kagome back into a hug, the latter sobbing into the former's shoulder.
"Kagome. I know you tend to worry about everything–every possible outcome, every nuance. But just like you underestimate Shippō, I think you may be underestimating Sesshōmaru. They're both very strong, very smart. They don't need you to make every decision for them. They don't need to be coddled. Especially not Sesshōmaru."
"I don't want him to hate me."
Mrs. Higurashi pulled back to look at her daughter, concern and confusion heavy in her expression as a comforting hand stroked through wind-lashed, wild, midnight hair.
"Why would he hate you?"
"Mama… inuyōkai mate for life."
Confusion shifted to contemplation as Niya pursed her lips.
"I see. So you're afraid that he's going to one day wake up and feel like an entirely different Sesshōmaru? That he’ll suddenly regret being with you?"
"It sounds silly like that…but I mean…yeah. That's exactly what I'm afraid of. He… Mama he hated humans before. Why would he mate one? And he's just so vulnerable right now. He relies on me for everything. I don't think he'll wake up and be an entirely different Sesshōmaru… I think he'll wake up and realize there's more… and better out there for him. That I'm not the only choice. And it's not like it is with humans. He can't just leave. He'll be tied to me. Permanently. For the rest of his immortal existence."
"That's a big decision."
Kagome scoffed.
"Yeah. Huge."
"And you think it's one he would make lightly? It does, after all, impact him for the rest of his immortal existence. An existence that he's already experienced for… how many centuries? I suppose enough to learn and grow, to come to understand himself. To realize he does not hate humans. Because the Sesshōmaru I’ve met certainly doesn’t seem to hate humans."
The miko's eyes widened briefly, heart pounding. Her mother was making her face questions and facts that she'd been fiercely avoiding. Niya smiled knowingly, aware she'd gotten her point across, content with letting that point marinate in Kagome’s busy mind.
"Let's go back and finish breakfast, hm?"
Mrs. Higurashi wrapped an arm around her pensive daughter, guiding her towards the house, a small, triumphant smile tilting her lips. She herself may not have centuries of life experience under her belt, but throughout more than a decade as a mother, she knew all too well when her lesson had been received.
They were nearly halfway back to her childhood home when Kagome felt a rush of yōki. Her head whipped toward the direction it had come from, her feet freezing in place, prompting Niya to turn a concerned brow to her daughter.
“Kagome, dear, what is it?”
“I felt Shippō’s yōki.”
Mrs. Higurashi followed the path of Kagome’s panicked gaze.
“It’s coming from over there?”
“Yeah.”
“The dōjō?”
The miko’s eyes widened.
“How did he get through my barrier?”
Kagome started towards the dōjō immediately, her mother following close behind. Their pace was no longer leisurely as they rushed across the courtyard and towards the treeline. Kagome took two stairs at a time once they reached the engawa, her heart pounding as she stepped inside of the dōjō. Her fear melted to elation when she found Sesshōmaru adjusting Shippō’s stance, a bokutō clutched in his tiny paws. The two Higurashi women watched quietly as the daiyōkai instructed the kit in the basics of swordsmanship.
When Shippō noticed them, he waved excitedly, his grin infectious. Sesshōmaru gently chastised him, refocusing his attention on his instruction. Kagome hid a giggle behind her hand when Shippō’s posture became military-straight, face set with all the seriousness and dedication of a soldier as he focused on Sesshōmaru’s demonstration.
The lesson continued on a serious note for several minutes of having a newfound audience to impress before Shippō grew restless, jumping around with the wooden sword, making sound effects with his mouth as the bokutō cut through the air. Kagome hadn’t anticipated that Sesshōmaru would be a patient teacher, especially when it came to swordplay. To her surprise, he joined the little kit in full-on pretend chanbara, going as far as kneeling to bring himself closer to Shippō’s height and letting him gain the upper hand.
Niya wrapped her arm around Kagome’s shoulder, a smile on her lips as she watched the young woman she’d raised smiling while watching her own child. The elder of the two Higurashi women sighed wistfully as her attention settled back on the two yōkai, whispering–entirely unaware of just how heightened their hearing was.
“He’s so good with him.”
Kagome’s smile grew, pride shimmering in her eyes as she nodded.
“He is.”
“He’ll make an excellent father.”
Sesshōmaru faltered, eyes snapping towards the mortified miko and her oblivious mother, hands dropping to his sides…leaving himself open for Shippō to accidentally whack him in the head with his bokutō. The daiyōkai blinked several times before turning his stunned gaze back to the kitsune, who had slumped in on himself, backing away and nervously fidgeting with the practice sword as he apologized. A fanged grin took hold of Sesshōmaru’s lips, brow raised playfully.
“What for? All is fair in swordplay. It would seem that you have bested me in battle.” He raised his voice as he stood, bowing at the waist to the kitsune. “Let it be known that Higurashi Shippō has defeated the reigning Inu no Taishō. This means the title is now yours, kit.”
“Wh-what? No way! You let me win! You’re just trying to pawn off your boring grown-up stuff on me. Keep your title, I don’t want it. I’m a rōnin, I don’t take orders from anyone!”
Shippō pulled down his eyelid and stuck his tongue out at the daiyōkai before using his yōjutsu to summon his toy horse and gallop away, bokken raised skywards.
“Hn. Very well. I’ve encountered humans capable of hitting harder, so perhaps–”
“Hey! Watch it, mister.” Kagome pointed a puckish, accusatory finger at the grinning daiyōkai. “I’ll show you how hard humans can hit.”
“Is that a challenge, miko?”
Niya’s voice timidly, cheerfully interrupted the exchange.
“Well, Kagome, I think that’s my cue to return to the house and leave you three to your fun.”
The playful tension hung in the air as Kagome turned to Niya, her laughter slowly fading as she pulled her mother into another hug.
“Alright, Mama. Thanks…for everything.”
Shippō suddenly joined the embrace, climbing up the miko’s shoulder to nuzzle beneath Niya’s chin. Mrs. Higurashi’s smile was bright as she wrapped her arms around the kit and planted a dramatically audible kiss on his forehead. Her smile turned to laughter, joining the happy laughs that the kiss elicited from the boy who had abruptly made her a grandmother. Her grin cut into her cheeks as he addressed her as such for the first time.
“Bye Obaasan. Thanks for breakfast. Your eggs are almost as good as Mama’s.”
Niya stepped back to look the kit in the eye as she spoke, her smile enduring.
“Oh, good. I’m glad you ate. Growing boys need their energy.” She pinched his nose and gave him another kiss on the forehead before turning to Sesshōmaru. “It was lovely seeing you again, Sesshōmaru-sama. Thank you for taking such good care of my Kagome and our Shippō.”
Sesshōmaru inclined his head.
“Thank you for your hospitality, Higurashi-san.”
“Of course, dear. Now, don’t be strangers.” Niya shifted her regard back to Kagome, a loving hand resting on the miko’s shoulder. “You know you’re all welcome here any time.”
“Thanks, Mama. We’ll visit again soon. We actually need to get going, though. Come on, you two. We have some errands to run.”
Shippō groaned, climbing down from Kagome’s shoulder and replacing his bracelet to resume his human transformation. Sesshōmaru followed suit, slipping his ring over a clawed finger as he joined Kagome and the kit at the dōjō’s entrance. The trio followed Niya across the shrine grounds until they came to the torii, waving goodbye before descending the stairs and settling into Kagome’s car.
As happy as the miko was to see Shippō feeling better, she knew that what had caused the upset in the first place hadn’t been properly addressed. She met his happy face in the rearview mirror, her own smile slowly shifting with regret.
“What’s wrong, Mama?”
The miko turned in her seat, resting a hand on the kit’s knee.
“I messed up. I’m gonna do that sometimes. But I promise you, I’ll never make the same mistake twice. You’re the most important thing in the whole world and last night… I should’ve come home.” She squeezed his knee as it bounced nervously beneath her touch, his expression solemn as he nodded, fingers twisting together. Kagome bit her lip before continuing. “I did think of you. But I thought you’d be okay with Jaken-sama. I didn’t think about how worried you’d be if I stayed here. I should have, though. I know I’d be a mess if you didn’t come home when you said you would. I’ll never do that again. I’m sorry and I hope you know how much I love you. I always think of you.”
Shippō grinned.
“Of course I know. I promise I won’t go off on my own again. Sesshōmaru-sama talked to me about it. I know it was stupid and I could’a gotten hurt.”
“Well, I know you won’t do it again. You know why?”
Curious brows rose, posture leaning closer with wide-eyed anticipation.
“Why?”
“Because we’re gonna go get you your own phone. That way, you won’t have to look for me. I’ll always be right in your pocket, a phone call or text away.”
“Really?!”
“Uh-huh. We’re gonna get everyone their own phones today. You can pick out whichever one you want.”
“I want one that I can play games on! There’s this mobile FPS that Sōta showed me…”
Shippō rambled excitedly about what types of games he was going to download for the entire drive to the mall. Kagome listened, ‘oohing’ and ‘aahing’ over the details that she didn’t fully understand. Sesshōmaru was, fortunately, more attuned to the language thanks to Sōta. He had Shippō download the games onto his own phone so that they could play together, much to the kit’s delight.
The afternoon went by quickly, the mall excursion taking up the entirety of it. Shippō talked Kagome into buying him a new video game and some more art supplies before stopping for ice-cream. By the time they were settled in the car, halfway back to the apartment, the mood had calmed–Shippō asleep in the backseat, lofi quietly filtering out of the speakers as the miko and the daiyōkai sat in companionable silence, the summer wind warm as it blew through the open windows.
The calm and quiet was quickly obliterated the moment they arrived home. The entire household was in an uproar, Hoshiyomi trying to pacify a frazzled Jaken…who was frantic about the missing kit. Hachi was drinking the stress away, groaning from his place on the couch as he implored Jaken to stop screeching. Kagome had to stifle a laugh, suddenly seeing the humor in Shippō’s chosen form for the imp’s concealment charm…which he still had not taken off. His shrill indignation did fit the façade of the character well.
Throughout all of the upset, no one had even noticed when Kagome opened the front door, too distracted by their own arguing and agitation. Sesshōmaru’s aura flickered in warning and three heads snapped in the daiyōkai's direction. Jaken burst into tears as he ran to Shippō, kneeling to wrap his arms around the kit before shrieking his admonishment. Kagome sighed, aware she was responsible for the disquiet that had taken hold of their home.
“Everyone calm down. Everything’s fine. I’m really sorry for worrying you all–”
Kagome’s apology was cut off by the sound of a small voice coming from behind Sesshōmaru, who was still standing outside of the apartment’s open door with Shippō…and a loudly wailing Jaken.
“Um, excuse me…is…is Kagome home?”
Hachi hiccupped with surprise before quickly transforming, which, fortunately, reminded Hoshiyomi to put on his concealment charm. Kagome made a mental note to avoid standing with the front door open while several yōkai lounged in plain sight. Kagome immediately recognized the voice and thanked the kami that the owner of it was too short to see beyond Sesshōmaru. She called past the daiyōkai, seeking to verify her assumption.
“Yumi-chan?”
“Kagome!” The miko laughed as Ayumi stood on her tip-toes, peeking around Sesshōmaru’s broad shoulder. “Where have you been? No one but Hōjō has been able to get a hold of you!”
Kagome took a deep breath in an attempt to remain calm as yet another problem reared its head. It felt like her life just continued to snowball, collecting every stressor it rolled over as it sped down a mountainside, no ability to brake. She idly wondered when it would finally reach the mountain’s base and crush her into the ground with its overwhelming weight. She took another deep breath as Sesshōmaru stepped aside, allowing the tiny female to burst through the open apartment door, arms flinging around Kagome’s shoulders.
When the miko released that deep breath, it felt like she was exhaling a lungful of pent up, negative energy. Comfort and calm washed over her as she found solace in Ayumi's sincere embrace. The gentle, loving arms wrapped protectively around Kagome belonged to her best friend. How she had forgotten that, she couldn’t begin to fathom.
The hug was like an emergency brake, slowing the snowball for the first time since the two girls had loaded up the Toyota and departed for their failed camping trip together. Kagome sniffed back tears, her hold tightening around her friend.
“I missed you, Ayumi. I’m so sorry–”
“Shh. Don’t apologize. Really! I can see you have… a lot going on…” She stepped back from Kagome's clutches to peer around the room, brows raising. “And you already have company. Is this a bad time?”
“Erh, actually, I have roommates. It’s a long story.”
“Roommates? Where on Earth do they sleep? Nevermind, sorry, I’m being rude. Hi everyone! I’m Ayumi.”
Sesshōmaru’s interest increased, eyes scanning the small female as he guided Shippō–and the imp that was clinging to him–into the apartment and closed the door behind them.
“This is the friend that you described as ‘like a sister’ to you, Kagome?”
Ayumi’s eyes widened and watered as she looked between Sesshōmaru and Kagome.
“You said that?”
“Of course I did. You’re my closest friend.”
Ayumi’s hand settled on Kagome’s bicep as both girls teared up anew. The moment seemed to stretch on before Kagome remembered her manners, once again sniffing back her emotions as she cleared her throat.
“Sorry, now I’m the one being rude. Yes, everyone, this is Ayumi. And yes, she’s like a sister to me.” The miko met her friend’s eyes, trying to convey just how deeply she meant it before clearing her throat again and continuing. “Ayumi this is…”
Kagome had to pause again, posture stiff and eyes widening as she looked around, the odd handful of names sitting in the room running through her mind. She thought quickly, translating each name to something less unusual… and less associated with death, evil, or underworlds. Since his name was passable as normal within human society, she introduced Hachi first, giving her a little more time to come up with the rest.
“...Hachi, Hoshi, Maru, Ippo, and Ken.”
Four sets of eyebrows raised with her introduction. Kagome shot them a warning glare that settled all of their brows back into place. Everyone greeted Ayumi half-heartedly, still staring at Kagome with palpable bewilderment. If Ayumi picked up on the awkward atmosphere, she didn’t let it show, returning the uncomfortable greeting with her usually-cheerful self.
“It’s very nice to meet you all! I’m sorry to shorten our introductions, but I really need to speak with Kagome.”
“Oh, they’ll be fine. Come on, let’s go to my room.”
Seconds later, Kagome closed herself and her friend behind the illusion of privacy that was her bedroom door, certain that the heightened hearing of five yōkai wouldn’t miss a single word the duo exchanged. As soon as the door clicked shut, Ayumi added to the record-breaking list of eyebrows that had been raised at Kagome in that one single day. Brown eyes searched blue, arms folded expectantly, posture accusatory.
“Alright, girl, spill. Which one’s the hunk that Jun won’t shut up about?”
Kagome choked on air.
“Ayumi!”
Her accusatory posture broke with a laugh, a bounce in her step as she ventured deeper into Kagome’s bedroom. Ayumi's tone was filled with curiosity and mischief when she spoke.
“He said he came over here and there was a naked man in your apartment. I didn’t believe him…but now I come over and there are four clothed ones and a futon on your bedroom floor! Who’s sleeping in your room, Kagome?”
“Oh my gods, Ayumi. Stop!”
They both giggled, Kagome's nervous and hidden behind her hands, Ayumi's full of mirth and scandal.
“Seriously. Which one? Eri and Yuka are going to lose their minds! I guess it doesn't matter which one. I wouldn't mind seeing any of them naked. They’re all so gorgeous." Ayumi paused to admire Kagome's mortification… though the miko suspected her friend would have been equally as mortified had she known every unseemly sentence she uttered was overheard by the very subjects of those sentences. As it were, Kagome endured her slow death of embarrassment as she allowed Ayumi to continue on in her blissful obliviousness. "And the little boy? Precious! Is there a sexy single dad among them? Tell me everything.”
Kagome's responding groan of despair was unheeded as her friend continued her playful interrogation.
“It’s the one with the long hair, isn’t it? You’ve always had a thing for long hair.”
The miko threw her hands up in frustration, retreating to her closet to change into something more comfortable.
“Bah! It’s none of them! Stop it!”
Ayumi’s gaze settled on the walk-in, victory gleaming in her eye.
“So then, Kagome, why are there men’s clothes hanging in your closet, hmm?”
“I’m going to strangle you.” Kagome huffed as she collapsed on her bed. Arms and legs outstretched like a starfish. Ayumi plopped down next to her on her stomach, feet kicked in the air behind her as she snickered and basked in Kagome's squirming.
“I’m sorry. I’ll stop teasing. I actually came over to see how you’ve been doing. Jun… is being… well… Jun. And Ren… is… not much better.”
Kagome winced at the reminder.
“Jun said that Ren called me a prude.”
“What a jerk! Ren, I mean. Jun, too… but Ren’s supposed to be your friend! Honestly, I have no idea how Yuka puts up with him. Hypocritical of her, if you ask me. After all she had to say about you and that so-called 'delinquent' boyfriend of yours in high school she ends up with a delinquent boyfriend of her own.”
Kagome laughed, shrugging her shoulders.
“Yeah, well. That’s Yuka.” She sighed dramatically, bangs blowing away from her face. “Is she mad at me, too? She was always taking Ren’s side whenever he pushed me to give it another go with Jun.”
“She’s… been suspiciously quiet about it, actually. In front of me , at least. I get the feeling I’m being left out of a lot of conversations about this whole thing. Eri’s been really vocal about how glad she is, though. But you know Eri. No one’s good enough for any of us.”
Ayumi smiled as Kagome rolled over onto her stomach, pulling Mokomoko into her arms and snuggling it.
“Oh wow. That’s pretty. Where’d you get it?”
Kagome laughed nervously, more so when the pelt began to tighten around her.
“Oh, this? It’s an antique.”
Ayumi’s mouth formed an intrigued ‘o’ as she reached out and unknowingly petted a millennium-old inudaiyōkai’s fur.
“So soft! Anyways. Like I said, I just wanted to check in on you. How are you holding up? Jun’s been absolutely insufferable. More than usual, I mean. I can’t even hang out with our friends when he’s around. You’re all he talks about and he just bad mouths you non-stop. Eri and I have both asked him to shut up about it but Ren and Hina keep encouraging him. Yuka just sits there. It’s all so uncomfortable.”
Kagome frowned.
“Hina, too?”
“Well, I mean, you know how she is. She sides with Ren about everything.”
“Not everything. I really thought I was starting to grow on her.”
“Kagome, I don’t think anyone will ever grow on that girl. She hates everything other than her brother. If it weren’t for Ren, I doubt she’d ever have hung out with us in the first place.”
“I guess you’re not wrong. I just… this is what I was afraid of. I’ve caused a huge rift and everyone is taking sides. I don’t want you to feel like you have to defend me–”
“Fuck that. You didn't do anything. Kagome, what you said earlier… you are like a sister to me. I won’t sit there and listen to someone while they call you obscenities. Especially ones that don’t fit you. Hōjō hasn’t been around at all. He… he punched Jun, Kagome.”
Kagome’s eyes widened.
“He did not!”
“He did! Jun… he was drunk. He called you… I can’t even repeat it. But Hōjō just stood up and socked him right in the nose! You should’ve seen it. I’ve never seen Hōjō so dreamy before.”
Ayumi sighed longingly, her chin resting on her fists, eyes closed as if reliving the memory. Her posture completely deflated with Kagome’s next words.
“Yumi-chan, you’ve gotta tell him.”
“He’s been hung up on you since sixth grade. He doesn’t even know I exist.”
“He knows our relationship isn’t like that, though. And you’ve been hung up on him since sixth grade. Maybe it’s time you show him that I’m not really all that big of a deal.”
Kagome nudged Ayumi with her shoulder, inching closer to make eye contact as the conversation shifted to a happier topic…one that wasn't focused on her.
“But you are a big deal, Kagome. I could never be as confident as you.”
“Sure you can. I’m not even all that confident. Fake it ‘til you make it, ya know?”
Ayumi sighed again.
“I guess. I gotta go, though. I have a client flying in from overseas. I have to meet him at the airport in two hours.”
“Alright. It was good to see you. I’m sorry I’ve been so hard to reach. As you can see from the state of my living room… I’ve been dealing with a lot.”
“No kidding! But… Kagome?”
“Yeah?”
“Seriously, which one is it?”
“Go to work!”
Ayumi giggled as she stood, Kagome following close behind her. When they made it to the front door, Ayumi turned and placed a hand on Kagome’s shoulder, her voice low, expression serious.
“Look, I really do mean it. I wanna know what you’ve been up to. Clearly, there’s been a lot of changes. We’ll have dinner or coffee or something soon and you will tell me everything. No arguments. I’ll text you. Answer. Don’t make me come over here again, missy.” Ayumi didn’t give Kagome time to answer, turning her attention to the fully-occupied couch as she waved. “Bye everyone! It was nice meeting you.”
Several blushing ‘goodbyes’ were mumbled in turn as Kagome locked the door behind her friend. As soon as the lock engaged, everyone but Jaken took their concealment charms off, all eyes on Kagome, expressions ranging from amused to indignant, voices grumbling over each other.
“‘Maru’?”
“‘Hoshi’?”
“‘Ippo?’”
“I like ‘Ken’. I think I will keep it.”
“Why didn’t I get a fun nickname?”
Kagome sighed, hands animated as she sought to defend herself against the onslaught.
“Look, most of your names don’t sound human, alright? It would’ve been too weird to have literally everyone but Hachi with these unusual names with unusual meanings. I was on the spot. I did my best.”
She deflated against the door, glad to see most of the yōkai’s expressions shifting with mirth.
“Hm. Well, I suppose you are lucky to know me by my chosen name. Though, it would have been entertaining to hear what you came up with for my true name.”
Kagome straightened at that, walking towards the couch, intrigue piqued.
“Hoshiyomi isn’t your name?”
“No. I changed it when I mated Tsukiyomi.”
“Awh. That’s so cute!” At that, the shinobi daiyōkai cut Kagome with a look that summoned a nervous laugh from the miko. She cleared her throat, quickly moving on. “So… what’s your real name?”
Sesshōmaru’s amused chuckle drew the miko’s eye in his direction.
“He cannot tell you that. It is why he had to choose a new name. He needed something his mate could actually call him. Shinobi yōkai do not reveal their names to anyone outside of their clan. Not even I know Hoshiyomi’s true name. Prior to his mating, I knew him only as ‘jōnin-sama’, ‘dōhō-sama’, and–later, once we became close–‘kyōdai’.”
“It is Fukitsu-shi.”
Sesshōmaru’s eyes widened.
“Hoshiyomi…”
“It matters not, Sesshōmaru. My clan is gone. Those in this room are my clan, now. My pack.”
Kagome smiled as she sat on the floor in front of the couch, taking Hoshiyomi’s hand in hers.
“I’m honored that you shared something so sacred with me–with us… And I would have said ‘Itsu’.”
“Hmn. I prefer ‘Hoshi'.”
“Hoshi it is, then.”
Kagome patted his hand before climbing up onto the couch and settling next to Sesshōmaru.
“And what about you, Maru? Are you content with the name or should I come up with something else?”
“It will suffice.”
“Well, we already established that Jaken is happy with his name. How about you, Ship?”
“It’s alright, I guess. At least it sounds like my name. I like it better when you call me ‘Ship’ though.”
“Yeah, well, that one is a little weird, too. I’ll still call you by your real name when it’s just us, though. We’ll only use the nick-names in front of others and for your IDs whenever I get those made, okay?”
“IDs?” Sesshōmaru’s head tilted to the side.
“Identification. I’m going to have to get everyone some fake documents eventually. That way you can participate in society if and when you want."
"Hn."
"Yup. You guys can choose your surnames. Except you, Shippō. You're stuck with Higurashi."
Shippō grinned as he crawled into Kagome's lap, nuzzling beneath her chin.
"That's what I woulda picked, anyways."
"Good. The rest of you think on it before I'm forced into choosing for you like I had to today."
There were several grunts of acknowledgment before the room settled down, television once again occupying the group of yōkai's attention… save for one. Kagome couldn’t help but notice Sesshōmaru’s sudden mood shift. The daiyōkai seemed deep in thought, troubled. She quietly nudged him to get his attention, gesturing towards the bathroom. When he nodded, she took his hand and stood.
“We’re gonna shower. I’ll start dinner after. Sound good, everyone?”
More grunts of acknowledgement, Hachi’s standing out as aggressive as he shooed her out of the way, clearly annoyed that she was blocking his view of the television. The miko suppressed a chuckle as she pulled Sesshōmaru towards the bathroom. They were quiet until they were both beneath the rain of water from the oversized shower head, the water beating down on the back of Sesshōmaru’s neck.
“Alright, you. What’s wrong? You were in a better mood until we got home.”
“No, it is nothing like earlier. It is just…Hoshiyomi revealing his true name. Kagome…you cannot imagine…it is unheard of. I… I do not know my own mother’s true name, nor her true scent.”
“Wh-what? I mean, you told me about the scent thing…that was bad enough. But her name?”
“The shinobi clan from which she hailed is exclusively female. It is a secret branch within the Kagengetsu clan, one which does not require blood relation to be a part of. It is closer to an organization than a clan…but they come before pack in a member’s hierarchy. Because I was born male, I am not truly her clan-mate. We are pack, but I am not affiliated with the shinobi sect of our clan. I, therefore, could not know her name.”
“That is…wild.”
“Hn. It was the same with my granddam. Because we are blood related–naturally–I do not refer to them by their names regardless. Those that I do not share blood with were referred to by their rank or title and, occasionally, by a moniker that denoted the closeness of the relationship–such as my referral to Hoshiyomi as ‘kyōdai’. It was what I called him for centuries before he adopted a name for his mate. For him to reveal his true name now… Kagome, not even his mate knew him by it.”
“We…should feel honored then, no?”
Sesshōmaru's brow stiffened, gaze darkening.
“No." The finality in his reply lightened alongside his expression as he continued on. "We should feel concerned. His belief that his clan is dead…he has simply given up hope. There…there could be more prisons…or…or as Hachi said! There could be communities surviving through concealment! Perhaps they have hidden themselves elsewhere…the…the possibilities. He cannot give up hope!”
The daiyōkai was shaking. Kagome had never seen him so passionate about something, his voice so uneven, so emotional. She quickly realized that his upset had nothing to do with Hoshiyomi.
“You’ve been hoping to find your family?”
He froze, posture deflating as he averted his gaze.
“This is not about me–”
“Yes, Sesshōmaru, it is. Look at me.” Kagome pulled his chin towards her, holding his gaze. “Just because Hoshiyomi is dealing with the separation from his family, the uncertainty of whether or not they’re alive…by downplaying the importance of it, by letting them go–Sesshōmaru, that doesn’t mean that you have to. You can still hold onto that hope. We can still look for them.”
He whimpered, his forehead falling to her shoulder as he quietly sobbed.
“Shh. It’s okay. You’re okay.” Kagome wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close to her body. “Hey, look, the bottom line is that we don’t know what happened. But we’re gonna find out. I promise. If nothing else, we’ll know their stories, we’ll know where they went. I swear to you–I’ll track down any and every yōkai that ever meant something to you and I’ll find out if they’re still living. Whether or not they are, you’ll at least be able to honor their memory and put them to rest. I won’t let you go on not knowing. We’ll figure it out, no matter how long it takes. We’re never giving up. Okay?”
He nodded against her, nuzzling into her neck. A small knock sounded against the bathroom door and Kagome felt Shippō’s aura reach out–specifically towards Sesshōmaru. Without lifting his head from Kagome’s shoulder, the daiyōkai’s aura answered in welcome. The door quietly opened and little paws padded against the bathroom floor.
Kagome remained quiet as Sesshōmaru straightened and reached a hand outside of the shower, helping Shippō over the tub before lifting the kit to his shoulder. The two nuzzled together, a tiny pur rumbling from Shippō that Kagome had never once heard before. She watched with fascination as the kitsune nuzzled beneath the inu’s neck, Sesshōmaru nuzzling back, both of their eyes closed.
The miko began to feel like she was intruding on the moment. Sesshōmaru instantly sensed her shift in demeanor and pulled her back to his body. She gasped in surprise before wrapping her arms around his middle, her head against his shoulder.
Sesshōmaru’s heart felt full and warm as his little pack sought to comfort him. He breathed out a relieved sigh as his instincts soothed and his stresses melted away. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d felt so at ease, so complete.
With his pack by his side, the daiyōkai felt as if no matter what happened, he’d be okay so long as he always had them to hold. His embrace tightened, a pur vibrating through his entire body when two sets of arms tightened in turn.
“Mama…can Sesshōmaru-sama be ‘Higurashi’, too?”
Kagome and Sesshōmaru both glanced at the kit with surprised eyes.
“Of course he can… but he probably wants to take his clan name, Shippō.”
“I would be honored to share your name.”
Kagome’s surprised gaze shifted from the kitsune to the inu, further surprised to find him already looking at her. After all he’d said about the importance of his clan, of holding out hope–how upset he’d become over Hoshiyomi breaking propriety…she couldn’t believe he’d give his name up.
“If that’s what you want, Shippō and I would be happy to share it with you.”
Shippō’s grin was huge as he threw his arms around Sesshōmaru’s neck. The daiyōkai smiled as he dipped his head and nuzzled his forehead to the kit’s. He straightened, gaze intense as it met Kagome’s. His lips settled against her forehead, the hand that wasn’t holding Shippō to his chest gently gripped the base of her skull, crushing her against him as he inhaled. The moment stretched on and simultaneously ended too soon. Kagome’s hands curled against the wet, silken strands of silver hair that were plastered against his chest, basking in the closeness she felt with what she continued to call her “pack” out loud… and her “family” in her mind. Her head fell against the center of his chest, forehead pressed to Shippō’s as they both nuzzled against the daiyōkai.
Sesshōmaru held them close, aware that they had become far more than just “pack” to him. The trio had no idea that they were all thinking the same thing as they huddled together beneath the water, their bond growing with each passing moment. Shippō had started to drift off, gently snoring, one hand entangled in each of his adoptive parents’ hair. The word came out on a whisper of a breath, but they both heard it.
“Papa.”
The miko and the daiyōkai’s gazes met over the slumbering kitsune’s head, a silent exchange, an agreement. Neither would correct the title that Sesshōmaru had earned.
Notes:
I live ＼(°o°)／
Sorry for taking so long to update. Thanks to those of you that continued supporting and reaching out. It's been a really rough year so far and the lovely comments and people asking (nicely) for more were just... You guys got me up and moving to post the new chapter. Thank you. ( ◜‿◝ )♡
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💬Discord: supsteff#0582
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The group of talented SessKag writers that I share a discord server with now have a Tumblr page! They'll be posting lots of fun stuff like story recommendations, master lists, and interviews with the group members (which includes a ton of easily recognizable names if you read SessKag fanfics, as well as lesser-known authors to help you discover the hidden gems!) If it sounds like your thing, be sure to check it out!
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