Chapter Text
When InJoo had gotten InHye’s message and the bank deposit and she was filled and stretched with emotion. Finding the moving vehicle suffocating, she had stumbled off the bus in shock and collapsed onto a park bench, feeling relieved that her sister and HyoRin were alive and well. And then anger sharply cut through, anger at InHye for disappearing with good-bye scribbled like an afterthought on a stupid little scrap paper and then depositing a sum of money in her bank account like some sort of bullshit thank-you after days of no contact. InJoo called InHye, but she hadn’t picked up. It seemed that InHye had utilized the block feature yet again, how nice of her. She had tried again five more times before giving up and calling InKyung.
They appreciated the gift, it was a lot after all. It covered their great aunt’s liabilities, their parents’ debts, the new apartment’s gift tax and they still had more than enough to cover In Kyung’s study abroad. How could InHye not understand that she never had to pay them back? That they would have been beyond happy if she had come home safe and whole, or at the very least called them at least once?
“So, I have some friends who can track down the location from the text, what do you think?”
InJoo bit her nail thoughtfully and stared out at the little kids playing in the park. Their initial discussion had helped calm her. Sighing, she resignedly replied, “Maybe we should let them be.”
“What?! Are you serious?”
InJoo winced and instinctively admonished her sister, “Don’t yell into the phone, you already have a naturally loud voice, are you trying to puncture my eardrums? It’s not that I don’t want her back -- but she and HyoRin have enough funds to cover their expenses abroad and she sounded happy, I don’t want to drag her away from her dreams. Now that we know she can contact us, I can breathe a little bit.”
“I still don’t know if I want to kill her or hug her.”
“I want to hug her so hard; she suffocates to death.”
InKyung huffed a laugh at the morbid joke, and hearing it made InJoo miss her even more. She said, “I think we should give her space and let her come back. I know she will, she likes to act so tough but remember that time she went to summer art camp for twelve weeks?”
“Ohhh yeah, she called us after two weeks saying she missed us so much. She sounded so snotty too.”
“Exactly.”
“But she was like thirteen.”
“She’s going to call again, I am sure of it. And we can slowly work up to weekly calls and then daily texts maybe even video calls!”
“You sound so hopeful.”
“Don’t you know me at all?”
“My bad for forgetting.” She could hear InKyung’s smile. “What are you going to do with the leftover gift?”
InJoo paused at that. She was reminded of a conversation with HwaYoung that happened not long ago but feels like a lifetime ago. The InJoo from before would have answered she would buy an apartment with white walls and large windows. In her message, InHye wanted her to buy an apartment too, but honestly InJoo feels one is enough for her. It seemed like she alone would be living in it for now. She was not sure if her parents would ever return, they seemed content to live in Thailand based on their messages in the family group chat.
Her other wishes included small luxuries of face creams and dresses and expensive winter wear. But those only amounted to a small percentage of her current the wealth.
“I am not sure. I am thinking I will probably wire some to our parents –“
“Are you insane? After everything they put us through!”
“InKyung I swear I am going to hang up on you if you don’t stop yelling. They want to travel the world and I don’t want them to get trapped up in some scam because they don’t have enough money.”
In Kyung grunted in reluctant agreement. “And then?”
“And then…. And then I will book an appointment with an advisor to plan how to invest it all.”
“Wow. I am so proud. This is rational thinking, I didn’t expect that from you.”
“Shut up,” InJoo said smiling.
“Things could get suspicious, they could start asking questions about where and how you got this much money. I will refer you to an advisor from Great Aunt’s network, they have experience with discretion and confidentiality.”
“Thanks.” She was working on improving her financial literacy beyond what she learned in her two year accounting course, but she still had a long way to go. “What are you going to do with your remaining gift?”
She could hear InKyung hesitate. “Well,” she shyly started, “JungHo and I are already sharing an apartment so I guess I don’t have to worry about living expenses anymore.”
“Uh huh,” InJoo restrained her urge to poke and tease InKyung’s new relationship.
“Shut up. And I have more than enough to cover my tuition.”
“That’s true.”
“I am not sure beyond that, actually. I think I will donate some of it though. How do you think InHye and HyoRin were able to get the cash? And transfer it to us? Do you think maybe it was Mr.Choi? ”
“Mr.Choi was the one who had transferred out the seventy billion to a Panama account,” InJoo mused. No wonder that he looked amused when she said she did not have seventy billion anymore. This underhanded plan reeked of him flaunting his crafty thinking. She was torn between being amused and annoyed that he conspired with her sister and her friend. “Do you think that this might get investigated?”
“He’s so shady and cunning--”
InJoo let out a short unintended laugh.
“—I am sure he found a way to make the transaction legal. And he didn’t say anything about it you?”
“No he didn’t.” And because she could feel InKyung’s rightful disapproval of him through the phone, she added, “He helped us a lot.”
“Sure. But it would’ve been nice to know he met InHye and HyoRin and that he knew they were safe.”
InJoo agreed with that. But if he told her, it wouldn’t be his signature mysterious style, would it? It seemed like he always enjoyed leaving her in the dark.
“Can you contact him?”
“No”, she said. “He planned to live without his email and phone for a while.”
“Wierdo.”
“He said he doesn’t want to get dragged back into business for a while.”
“It sounds like he’s not entirely quitting his money laundering career.”
“I’m not sure, maybe he’s thinking of a career change.”
InJoo could hear InKyung pause before she asked, “You don’t have any feelings for him, right? You seemed kind of worried about him before when you were stuck in prison.”
InJoo didn’t know how to answer that. She knew she felt reluctant attraction and fondness for Mr.Choi, but she didn’t know what he felt for her. He had always been shrouded in an annoying cloud of mystery and sexiness. She cringed slightly at her own thoughts; she sounded like a confused teenage girl navigating sexual attraction for the first time. Sometimes he said or did things that went beyond what business associates would do for each other. But he had also never said he thought of her as anything beyond conspiring business partners. Thinking that he wanted to keep their relationship to just that, InJoo’s rational brain had taken the romantic feelings she had nurtured and stuffed them into a box labeled “never happening” and pushed it to the back of her mind.
Unfortunately, her heart gleefully destroyed her mental box when Mr.Choi came back for her and HwaYoung. So, InJoo did know how to answer her sister’s question. She just did not want to answer it.
InKyung correctly interpreted her silence and started a tirade in her ear, “You need better taste in men! He might have helped us out, but he’s still a ruthless man! We don’t even know what he’s capable of! If he grew up with a messed man like Park JaeSang as a guardian, then who knows what he might have done already—”
“I don’t like him,” a very flustered InJoo interrupted. Her sister was right, of course she was right, but InJoo was a slave to her tyrannical heart. “I just thought of him as friend, that’s all.”
“Hmfph.”
“I don’t have contact with him, but we probably will not see each other again since I am guessing he got his money.”
“Hopefully not.” InJoo secretly hoped the opposite, but she would rather volunteer to chop off her right hand before she admitted that to InKyung.
“I am almost moved into the new apartment,” she desperately tried to change the subject. “I am not sure how to decorate it, and I know you moved out, but I still have your room ready whenever you want to visit home.”
“Thanks! I will visit probably once the semester is over.”
“I am looking forward to it. It’s kind of lonely here, I miss eating ice cream with you. I miss you guys so much.” Damn it, she started tearing up already.
“I miss you very much too,” InKyung said.
“Wait what time is it there? Am I keeping you up, I am so sorry you must have classes and you should get to bed and –”
“It’s alright,” InKyung laughed.
“You still need your rest, we can talk later. Tell your boyfriend I said goodnight!”
“Fine, ok, keep me posted if you find anything about InHye. Stay safe!” InKyung hung up.
InJoo sighed, more relaxed now than she was fifteen minutes before. She looked up the sky to let the sunshine wash over her face, happy that she did not have to take out that monstrous loan.
Two months later
Every Saturday, InJoo visited HwaYoung. She brought her friend her favorite things: latest issues of fashion and business magazines. InJoo updated her about on she her plans for decorating her apartment and the English classes she was finally taking. In return, HwaYoung told her stories about her fellow inmates and her gardening duties.
This weekend’s visitation script went a little differently.
“How are you really?” HwaYoung asked her.
Saying “good” satisfied the question before, so this was unexpected.
“I’m fine.” HwaYoung squinted at her. InJoo insisted, “Really, I’m fine.”
“InJoo do you have friends?” HwaYoung asked her kindly.
InJoo felt her ears burn in embarrassment, she hadn’t expected to be interrogated in this way. “Why do you ask that?”
“Because you’re visiting me every weekend–”
“You make it sound like I visit you too much! It’s not that often!”
“—You should be out meeting other people on the weekends.” HwaYoung finished pretending like she had not heard her.
“I –,” InJoo struggled to find a good excuse. Friendship required going out, which was expensive. Over time she had to regretfully turn down invitations, until all friendships had petered out to acquaintances. She had not felt the need to rekindle the relationships. “I’m fine”, she weakly offered to HwaYoung.
“You should be out living life -”
“I—”
“InJoo, let me finish please,” HwaYoung gave her stern stare. “I appreciate you coming to visit me, I really do. I haven’t been a very good friend to you, and I know you know this too. You love too much InJoo, but I wish you would just forget about me and move on and live your life.”
“I don’t want to forget about you.”
“Visit me every six months.”
“Once every three months,” InJoo countered.
“Fine, and you use your weekends to go out and meet people and tell me about them during your visits. I am getting tired of hearing about your river side apartment.”
“It’s really nice though,” InJoo pouted at her,
“Do you think you will go back to work?”
InJoo was caught off guard again. HwaYoung had clearly come into this visit with a plan, and she was intent on executing it.
“Um, I’m not sure. I didn’t really like the job, I only took it because I was good with numbers, and it paid well. But I don’t need the money right now, so I don’t know,” InJoo trailed off unsure. She sounded like fool, thirty-something and still aimless in life. At least she was rich now.
“You don’t have to take up the same job you know.”
“I don’t know what else I could do, I’m not good at anything else.”
“Just close your eyes and think about what brought you happiness before.”
InJoo was doubtful and it must have showed on her face because HwaYoung said, “Just try it.”
So, she closed her eyes and imagined what would bring her joy. Shopping? No, after a while it started to lose its allure. Her mind searched for the last time she had felt happy, truly happy not relieved because her sisters were alive and well. And ah! A dusty memory rose up: when she first taught InHye multiplication. When she finally got it, she had given InJoo a proud smile that had two missing front teeth, “I got it!”
“Kids”, InJoo said with a fond smile.
“Perv.”
“Not like that! You gross sicko, I meant that ---”
“I know what you meant,” HwaYoung laughed. “I just wanted to annoy you.”
“Whatever. I just remembered when I would help InHye with her schoolwork. I felt happy when grew confident about her abilities.”
“Maybe you should do that.”
“I’m not sure, isn’t it too late for me to be a teacher?”
“You don’t have to be a teacher. I am just saying you have time and money to try things that bring you joy.”
“Yeah I guess that’s true.” InJoo worried about looking out for family for so long, it never even crossed her mind that maybe she can afford to look out for herself now too. She could afford to indulge in beyond small material luxuries. “I will do that.”
“Good. I expect updates on that too.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Kinky.”
InJoo wrinkled her nose, “Prison has made you weirder.”
“Or you are too easy to tease. Let’s talk about the thing that you have avoided talking about for the past months.” The sudden gleam in HwaYoung’s eyes made InJoo nervous. “Choi DoIl.”
“I have nothing to say about him.” InJoo said defensively.
“Interesting.”
“Really! We were business partners, and now we aren’t. We said our goodbyes, I am not sure we will ever see each other again.”
“Interesting,” HwaYoung said again.
“I have nothing to say.”
“Do you have feelings for him?”
InJoo felt a sense of déjà vu. She replied, “no.” HwaYoung smirked, maybe she responded too quickly.
“If you have no feelings for him, how come you haven’t gone on a date with a man?”
“Maybe I am just not looking for a man right now. I have everything I need.”
HwaYoung snorted, “I don’t believe you, this coming from a woman who once told me and I quote, ‘I have always been obsessed with money and men’.”
She felt annoyed that HwaYoung made her sound shallow, but it did sound like something she might have said.
HwaYoung gave her kind smile, “It’s alright to have feelings for him you know. He is good looking.”
“I know it’s alright to have feelings,” InJoo waspishly replied. “I just don’t have feelings for him.”
Hwayoung’s silence stretched through the glass divider and surrounded InJoo shoulders in a consoling hug. It seemed to say, you are not a good liar so please give up.
“I just,” she squirmed in her seat as if to move out of the silence’s hold. “I liked him before, but I don’t think he thought of me the same way. I think, for him, I was always an obstacle blocking his cash. He never really said anything about feeling any romantic way about me. And now he’s gone. So, I can’t have any feelings for someone who is gone.” She felt a little pathetic after hearing herself.
“Is that all?”
“I visit his mom sometimes. And his dad.”
“He should be doing those things.”
“He might be! I don’t know that he’s not visiting. I like talking with them. Mr.Choi is funny and always gives me self-defense tips. And Ms. Ahn is really nice, she and I knit together. Sometimes we even bake--”
“InJoo, you know you are not their daughter-in-law, right?”
InJoo chose to ignore that statement.
Her friend sighed exasperatedly, “You should move on from him. He’s just some guy you knew for a few weeks. There are so many men who are handsome, even better looking than him. You deserve someone who is kind and supportive of you.”
“Alright,” InJoo said, her throat suddenly tight with love for HwaYoung. “I hope that you meet someone kind too.”
“Maybe I have,” HwaYoung smirked at her. “There are a lot attractive women here.”
InJoo let out a surprised laugh. She’s not surprised that HwaYoung was hooking up with women, she is surprised that her friend has a more exciting life than her in prison. “I am glad you are having the time of your life. In prison.”
“You know what they say, you only live once!”
One or two Saturdays out of the month, she visited Mr.Choi’s father in prison. Sometimes her Saturdays would just be prison visits. She saw HwaYoung in the morning, then she visited Mr.Choi after lunch. He had unfortunately earned several years in prison for illegal possession of weapons and other military equipment. InJoo wondered if she knew too many people in prison. It was not many, only two people, but two was still more than the estimated average of zero.
“Ms.Oh, how is the security in your new apartment building?”
“I am not sure, uh it’s alright? I guess?”
“Is there a security guard?”
“Yes.”
“Hm. And your door?”
“Standard key code.”
“Do you have dogs?”
“No.”
“Would you ever consider getting dogs?”
“I think I am a fish person.” He looked so disappointed, she almost backtracked to change her answer. Almost.
“Hm. Ms. Oh have you changed your mind about having a pistol?”
“Respectfully, I do not want to carry a firearm on me.”
“They have small ones for petite ladies like you,” Mr.Choi assured her. “They even come in different colors!”
“I don’t even know how to shoot one, it doesn’t seem responsible for me to carry a weapon I wouldn’t even know how to use.” When she had pointed the pistol at SangAh, she had been internally praying to every deity she could think of to bless with the ability to shoot straight. His son had merely given her the gun, he hadn’t shown her how to use it.
“It’s very easy! You just –”
“Mr.Choi could you tell me about gooseneck wrist lock? I am still a little confused about it,” InJoo quickly cut in before he could steamroll her with arguments about getting a gun. Or a guard dog.
“Of course,” he said gravely. “It is a simple but very tricky move….”
While Mr.Choi explained the maneuver, InJoo tried to figure out how subtly bring up the topic of his son. HwaYoung’s visit gave her many ideas, one of which made her wonder if Mr.Choi visited his parents at all.
Neither of his parents talked about him except for the first time she had visited each of them. The elder Mr.Choi told her that he and his son had parted on cold terms. Mrs.Ahn told her kindly that Mr.Choi did not live with her, he had only set her up in a countryside house with staff and a good hospital for her cancer treatment. But it had been several months since he had left Korea, and surely, he would have come back to see them at least once.
“…and that is how you can incapacitate your enemy. It is easily in my top ten favorite moves.”
“Ah.”
He regarded her curiously for a moment, “Ms.Oh you should just ask your question.”
Either she was incredibly easy to read, or he was incredibly good at reading people. “I was just ah, I was just wondering if Mr.Choi -- your son—came to visit?” Ah, well, subtility was never her strongest suit.
He looked like she had confirmed his suspicions on what she was going to ask. “No, he has not visited.”
She sympathized with him, but she also understood why his son didn’t visit. She might give her father money, she did not want to meet him in person.
“You know Ms.Oh, I love my son very much, but I think he would not make a good partner for you.”
“What?” InJoo refused to believe she was this easy to read.
“I understand that there might have been something between you –”
Mortified that Mr.Choi’s father had thought about the two of them together in a romantic way, she tried to deny, “Mr.Choi, your son and I only shared a business --“
“I know people Ms.Oh. I might have spent a few decades holed up by myself, but I am trained to read people as easily as one reads a weapons catalogue.”
How many people actually read weapons catalogues, InJoo thought hysterically.
“I could sense some affection between the two of you, there was an energy—”
InJoo wished the ground would just open and consume her whole. She regretted bringing this topic up at all.
“—My son would not have asked for me to look after you if you weren’t important to him. And you were worried for him as well.”
“We only cared about each other because there was seventy billion involved.” InJoo resolutely ignored her inner romantic fool yelling she cared about Mr. Choi even without the money.
“Nevertheless, I know what kind of man my son is, and I know what kind of person you are.”
“What kind of person am I?”
“You want to build a family and to grow old with someone. I am not saying those things are wrong to want, but I am not sure that a man who has spent his life exploiting others and taking up questionable projects in the name of money wants those things too.”
An urge built within InJoo to defend his son’s honor, but she kept quiet. He could have chosen a more direct path of dealing with her. He hadn’t though, is the thing.
“Ms.Oh InJoo, I know we have not known each for very long, but I just want the best for you.”
“Mr.Choi I think you are supposed say that I am not good enough for your son.”
“That is not true, it is not that you are not good enough for each other. You are not right for each other.”
She clenched her jaw and gave a small reluctant downward tilt of her chin to let him know she had heard him.
Mr.Choi gave a her a comforting look. He opened his mouth, then closed it again, then looked beyond the top of her head before opening his mouth once more, “Ms.Oh InJoo, I want you know that if I ever had a daughter,” he took a moment to pause to gather what he wanted to say. A furrow grew between his eyebrows, and he looked back at her sincerely, “If I ever had a daughter, I would be honored to have one as warmhearted as you.”
InJoo blinked up him at his sudden and stiff admission. She could see that it had taken effort for him to be vulnerable, and she appreciated it. It sounded so nice, that for once someone chose her because of who she was as a person. Not because she was their sister. Not because she was convenient. Not because she was worth seventy billion.
Swallowing the lump in the throat she replied, “I know that you think you aren’t a good father, but I would be honored to have a father like you, a father who put his family first.”
They shared a shaky laugh. Then Mr.Choi reproachfully said, “Please do think about getting a pistol, I can refer you to a vendor I trust.”
Mrs.Ahn lived in a cute cottage near the sea, it was about three-hour drive from Seoul. InJoo could drive, but she preferred taking the bus since she was on probation and wanted to avoid the risk of breaking traffic laws.
The housekeeper who also worked as Mrs.Ahn’s nurse greeted her with a smile at the door. “Ah! Ms.Oh InJoo!”
“Hi Mrs.Kim! I brought the sweets you liked from the last visit,” InJoo said giving her the pastry box.
“They smell so good! Come in, come in, Mrs.Ahn is on the balcony enjoying the fresh air.”
InJoo walked through the cozy house to the balcony, finding her sitting with a blanket over her knees and looking out at the beach. “It’s such a nice day isn’t it,” she greeted Mrs.Ahn with a smile.
“Ms.Oh! How have you been?”
“I’m alright. How are you?”
“Same as always,” Mrs.Ahn shrugged. “And how is my husband?”
InJoo visited Mrs.Ahn every weekend on Sundays, so some weekends she would see Mr.Choi on Saturday and then see Mrs.Ahn the next day. Her weekends were busy, but she liked them busy. A voice that sounded like HwaYoung hissed that her weekends should contain a different kind of busy. She batted the voice away before giving Mrs.Ahn a nervous smile, “he is fine. He wants me to get a pistol and a guard dog.”
Mrs.Ahn scoffed, “So paranoid, honestly. Your apartment is in such a posh neighborhood, I am sure the security is extensive.”
“I don’t think Mr.Choi could entrust security with anyone except himself.”
Mrs.Ahn rolled her eyes. Mrs.Ahn and Mr.Choi, as far as she knew, hadn’t talked face to face. She had gotten into the habit of giving them updates of each other. The romantic in her wondered if Mrs.Ahn ever wrote letters to the elder Mr.Choi, but InJoo doubted it. Mrs.Ahn was understandably angry at her husband for running away from their family. InJoo sympathized with both of them. It was unfortunate that their love for their son put him right into the hands of the cult they tried to escape from.
“I brought you wool yarn in the color you were talking about last time,” InJoo told her while handing her the spool from her bag.
“You shouldn’t have! But I am so glad that you did! Look at how vibrant this color is, the dye must high quality,” Mrs.Ahn gushed. The color is a refreshing and calming deep green. “I also must show you the new crochet patterns I ordered. I will teach you how to do them!”
“Mrs.Ahn, I’m already hopeless at knitting, are you sure I can handle crochet?”
“I thought it might be fun to watch you struggle with it.”
“I find your confidence in my abilities reassuring,” InJoo told her drily. Mrs.Ahn only gave her a serene smile. Sometimes, InJoo thought Mr. Choi inherited his infuriating smirk from his mother.
Mrs.Ahn was incredibly talented at knitting and crocheting. Over the course of her visits, InJoo was gifted two hats, a set of mittens and several crocheted doilies. InJoo was incredibly bad at knitting, whenever she tried her hand at a project it always ended up looking strangely distorted and horrific. Mrs.Ahn enjoyed laughing at her attempts, and InJoo enjoyed making her laugh so she kept trying.
For a while they both breathed in the fresh breeze in companionable silence. InJoo was once again struck by the urge to ask if her son had contacted her. It was like a scab, she knew she shouldn’t pick at it, but it itched. She couldn’t help but fidget as she debated whether to suffer or to not suffer.
“Just say what you want to say Ms.Oh, your anxiousness is ruining the scenery.”
InJoo chose to suffer. Sheepishly, she asked, “Has Mr.Choi contacted you? Or visited?”
“He has his ways of letting me know that he is alive. But no, he has neither called me nor visited me.”
“His ways” made InJoo think of secret messages being passed to Mrs.Ahn through convoluted ways. A scrap of paper slipped between her morning paper. A radio message interrupting Mrs.Ahn’s nightly drama watch. A nurse slipping her a small note during a hospital visit. He’s so dramatic, why he could just call.
She wondered if he had ever tried to contact her in “his ways”. Maybe he had and maybe she had been too dense to realize it. Except that was not possible, because InJoo picked up every phone call and had been vigilant about looking for any sign of him.
She wanted to pry, to ask about these “ways”, but instead she said, “ah, I see.” InJoo turned to look out at the beach, she could feel Mrs.Ahn looking at her and she stubbornly refused to return her eye contact.
“Ms.Oh when I say this, I want you to understand that it comes from a place of affection for you and from my own experience. I don’t know exactly what relationship you had with my son, but I think it would be good for you to forget about him.”
It seemed that Mrs.Ahn shared her husband’s skill of accurately reading InJoo’s mind. She also unknowingly shared his opinion.
“I—” she started before closing her mouth at the sharp look Mrs.Ahn gave her.
“I love my son. But I also recognize that he is not the right man for you.”
That stupid “rightness” again.
“How do you know that?” InJoo mulishly asked her.
“He has the same restlessness that his father had when I met him.”
“He is not his father.”
“No, he is not,” Mrs.Ahn agreed. “But they both have gotten so used to the thrill of chase and the risk of high-pressure situations. They cannot live a normal life anymore.”
“Mr.Choi only distanced himself to avoid putting the family in danger. He regrets that now,” InJoo defended her friend.
“Good. He should regret it. The orchid society could have been his reason. It could have also been his excuse. For many years before he left us, he seemed unsatisfied with our normal family life,” Mrs.Ahn recalled, briefly lost in a distant memory.
InJoo let the tension drop from her shoulders and looked at her feet resignedly.
“Ms. Oh, you have been so kind to me these past months,” Mrs.Ahn echoed InJoo’s words to her son. “I don’t want you to make the same mistake I did.”
“You must think me a fool,” InJoo laughed self-conscious.
“Nonsense. I think it would be impossible any person in your position to not develop feelings.”
“What if I never find the right person?” InJoo hated how small her voice sounded.
“That,” she said, “is also nonsense. I can set you up with some young men I know. There’s this man, very friendly, he helps out around the town. I think you two would a good match, he goes by Chief Hong, I can pass along his numb-“
“That’s alright, I um – I will think about the other things you said, thanks Mrs.Ahn,” InJoo interrupted.
“You can talk to me anytime Ms.Oh,” she smiled kindly at InJoo. “But let me know if you are interested in that date! Now enough of my son, let’s get crocheting!”
Mrs.Ahn laughed at InJoo’s groan of dismay. And InJoo tried desperately to put him out of her head.
On the Monday after the Weekend Of Bitter Truths Concerning Choi DoIl, InJoo decided she would get her groove back. She did not know how exactly, but her good friend HwaYoung inspired to be better. To treat herself better.
She sent out advertisements for math tutor positions. Keeping busy would be good for her.
After the whole ordeal with Sang Ah and the society, InJoo had been plagued by dreams and the guilt of killing Sang Ah. She had too much time on her hands, and she passively let the climatic moments of that fateful day eat away at her. Then InKyung moved to the U.S. and their home had grown emptier and it was horrible. The ghost of her family constantly followed her throughout the apartment.
Her sisters slowly worked up to having weekly video calls. They also had a group chat with JungHo and HyoRin. InKyung would occasionally post links to interesting articles and pictures of herself with JongHo visiting new restaurants. InHye and HyoRin shared selfies of visits to exhibits and their in-progress artwork.
InJoo wondered how long it would be before JungHo and HyoRin legally became part of their family. She refrained from asking about their relationships, worried that they would retaliate by asking her about her non-existent dating life or worse; accuse her of sounding like their mother.
InJoo sent pictures of the river side apartment and cute stray animals she ran into. Sometimes InHye and HyoRin also sent internet jokes, which in a separate group chat with just the three of them, InKyung, JungHo and InJoo tried their best to decipher so they could appropriately respond in the original chat. InJoo didn’t think she was that old, but every time she received a “meme”, she could feel herself aging five more years. Text messages and video calls were nice, but they weren’t the same as being with them in person.
Funny how memories worked. When she lived with her sisters, everything they did annoyed her. She hated how InKyung left behind notes of her research everywhere. She would curse InHye’s name to hell and back when she had to scrub paint stains out her sister’s sweaters and jeans. Her mother’s voice grated on her nerves after a long day of work. But after living in the quiet home, with only herself for company she would do anything to get those annoyance back into her life.
When the wealth and a new apartment suddenly dropped into her lap, she embraced the distractions. InJoo threw herself into her new responsibilities of moving her family’s belongings to the new apartment and managing her finances. Slowly but surely, Sang Ah’s furious face, Mr.Shin’s dead face and Her great aunt’s dead body stopped haunting her dreams.
There was no avoiding it (especially when she had acid scars) and there was no point in twisting the truth. She had killed Sang Ah out of self-defense. Sang Ah had burned to death in a trap of her own making. She should not feel bad for protecting her friend and her family from that maniac. She was alive, and she had the opportunity to live her life how she wished now, with no one playing puppet with her. She repeated these things every night until she slowly also came to peace with what happened in the bunker room.
So, yes, being busy would be good for InJoo.
That same Monday evening found InJoo with a glass of wine lounging lazily in front of the expensive Han River view. She looked at the dating app that finished downloading and debated whether or not she was making the right decision. She told herself, that yes, she was right. Her sisters would agree. HwaYoung would agree. Mr.Choi and Mrs.Ahn would also agree.
After setting up the basic profile, (31, ‘connoisseur of convenience store ice cream looking for the right partner in crime’) she began scrolling through the eligible matches.
In an hour she had rejected every suggested bachelor in a fifteen-kilometer radius. She told herself she had good reasons for doing so.
This one’s chin was too pointy.
He was handsome. Too bad, he did not fill out his suit in the way she preferred.
That man’s bio was not mysterious enough.
This man did not look like he had a good strut.
Were all the good men taken?
What was wrong with them?
Was there something wrong with her? (Probably.)
Annoyed, she dropped the phone on the couch and finished her wine in one big gulp, then glared at the ceiling.
She did not need a man anyway. InJoo was now the rich man she wanted to once to marry. Picking up the phone again, she deleted her dating account. Yes, she thought drunkenly, like all things this Mr.Choi shaped problem too would go away eventually. Hopefully.