Chapter Text
Izuku didn’t hate his mom. As much as he wished that she were different, he could understand why she did the things she did. Things like leaving him home alone for weeks without any food or way to contact her. But, that was expected, preferred for a quirkless person. He knew he had it good compared to the majority.
That didn’t change his past dream of having a different mom. Izuku would lay in his bed as a child and wish for a parent who would tuck him in and read him bedtime stories. It seemed fake that a mother would do that, but he could dream. And dream he did.
They got more in-depth as he got older. He added more criteria for his imaginary parent — someone who’d kiss his burns from Kacchan and magically make them feel better, who’d tell the school that it wasn’t his fault he got hurt all the time, someone who wouldn’t care that he was quirkless.
This mental image of a parent made his mom’s image morph into something different in his mind. Her flaws stuck out more than anything. She was never around, leaving him alone all of the time, she forgot to leave him food and money, and she rarely even spoke to him. Yet, she acted like a loving mother when All Might came to ask permission for him to move into the dorm. As soon as he left, Izuku could tell that she didn’t care.
Izuku loved his mom, but did she love him?
That was the question that was on his mind lately. It sprung back up on a random Sunday, weeks after he’d moved into the dorms. He was in the common room with some of class 1-A. They had a test on Monday and were given the day to study. So, some of the class had gone to the common room to study.
He was invited by Uraraka and Iida to study with them at one of the tables, and Todoroki decided to tag along last minute.
“Hey Deku, are you okay?”
Izuku snapped his head up and lowered his hand from his chin, pressing them flat on the table. He’d been staring at his notebook and thinking about his mom again. He forced a smile on his face and responded to her, “I’m okay Uraraka, just thinking!”
She smiled back, “About the test?”
Izuku didn’t hesitate to nod, “I’m worried that I won’t do well on it, this unit has been hard to grasp.”
The lie fell so easily from his lips that it almost made him sick.
“You shouldn’t worry, you’re extremely good at English, Midoriya!” Iida commented, chopping his hand in the familiar quick motions.
“Yes, it’s like you’re fluent,” Todoroki added.
Izuku felt his heart warm with the praise. He really didn’t deserve his friends. The only thing he did was lie to them.
“Aha… Watching All Might interviews will do that to you,” Izuku responded sheepishly.
Uraraka frowned suddenly, looking up from her study sheet and giving him her full attention, “You’re acting a bit off today… If you need anything I’m here, okay?”
Izuku really didn’t deserve to be her friend.
“I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m actually pretty tired right now… I ran for a lot longer than usual this morning,” Izuku scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.
Todoroki stared at him, “You should go sleep if you’re tired, Midoriya.”
“I agree with Todoroki! Do not overwork yourself!” Iida said, already getting up to help Izuku put his things away. Uraraka jumped up to assist as well.
Both of them helped Izuku pack his things so he could head up to his room. “Thank you guys, really.”
They gave him smiles and well wishes as he headed back up.
He loved his friends. But, as lovely as studying with them had been, his mind eventually wandered to his mom again. She didn’t make any sense to him.
He flopped onto his bed with a groan.
How was she able to wholeheartedly convince All Might that she was a protective mother and then not even look at him afterward? He even has a quirk now! Maybe the problem was never his quirk, but him. He’s probably the reason she was never able to act like a real mother. Yet, no matter how many half-baked excuses he made for her, he still couldn’t understand.
When he was in elementary school, he’d tried to mend their relationship. He drew her pictures, picked her flowers, and tried to give her hugs. This never went over well. She’d either ignore him or push him away. He was so used to silence from her, he wanted anything but silence. So, he tried to get her angry. He got into fights with Kacchan by trying to protect other kids and stopped trying to defend himself so the teachers would call her.
She never cared.
At some point, he stopped expecting her to. He couldn’t remember the exact moment but, he gradually stopped telling her about his injuries. He opted to treat himself with the medical kit that she restocked sometimes. At least she did that much.
Izuku felt tired from thinking about her. When he went back home to visit in a few days, she wouldn’t be there. There wasn’t any point for him to visit home anymore, aside from his mother’s reputation.
Izuku sat up abruptly. Why would he force himself to go? If the only reason he’s going was for his mom’s reputation, then why was he forcing himself to go?
With this sudden surge of confidence, Izuku left his dorm. He made his way up the steps and stopped in front of the door to Aizawa’s apartment.
He took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
“What do you want?” The voice from inside asked gruffly.
Izuku shifted nervously, his earlier confidence slowly fizzling out, “Uhm, Aizawa-sensei? Can I talk to you for a second?”
Shuffling from the other side of the door could be heard, then the door opened. “Come in, problem child.”
Izuku awkwardly scooted inside, closing the door behind him.
Aizawa motioned towards a seat inside the apartment, so Izuku sat down. “So? What is this about?”
“I wanted to ask for permission to uh… Stay here for the weekend instead of going home? If that’s okay with you,” Izuku said.
Aizawa grunted, “I don’t see why not, I’m gonna have to call your mother about it though.”
Izuku paled, “Oh… Okay, Thank you.” But, Aizawa looked at him strangely. Staring at him like he was trying to put together an all-blank jigsaw puzzle.
“If something’s wrong, you should talk to someone. Whether it be me, another teacher, or one of your peers, I’m sure they’d be happy to help,” Aizawa said, though it seemed that no matter how kind his words were, they always seemed to come out in a lazy drawl. Izuku appreciated this, it made it seem like he had a choice since Aizawa wouldn’t care either way.
Izuku settled for a quick and shaky nod, “Okay, sensei.”
He got up to leave, but not before sending Aizawa a small smile.
(And maybe, one day he’d feel safe enough to tell Aizawa about his troubles. But, this was just his first step.)