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Nicky could barely move, wrists pinned together by iron shackles and an identical pair attached to his ankles. It was similar to what he had seen on prisoners in the past, and was as uncomfortable as one could imagine.
More uncomfortable still was the distance between himself and his daemon, Pyxaanthal. The barn owl was in a cage, intermittently flapping his wings and screeching desperately. His bulk was pressed up against the mesh walls, a few dusky feathers poking through the gaps.
They were stretched to their limit, painful enough to force Nicky forward but not so far as to incapacitate him. Aware that Kozak was not a woman of false words, Nicky didn't fight, no matter how desperately he wished to.
A floor down, the love of his life was strapped to an experiment table, alongside his beloved brother and sister. His brother warranted less concern, given it was him who had brought them here, but Nicky would be ignorant to deny he still cared. There would be time later to organise his thoughts on the matter.
Kozak had explained to him, with an almost civil tone, that if he did not go with her peacefully, she would put Joe through unimaginable tortures. She had already proven herself capable of such things, and Nicky could never do anything that might put Joe into harm’s way.
Ultimately, there was nothing she could do that would permanently injure him. At least, that was what he had thought.
As the two guards, far younger than himself but larger and stronger, dragged him into a room, Nicky came close to fainting.
A large metal contraption was set in the centre of the room, with a staircase leading to a walled off area. Nicky could see into the adjoining room through a glass panel, noting the people in lab coats watching him nervously. Kozak was not the only sadist in this building.
The shadowy figure of Merrick was visible, Nicky could not make out his facial features but knew the silhouette well. He would never forget the visage of the man who had trapped them and tortured them.
A cold, icy horror turned his intestines to liquid, and Nicky felt his knees buckle.
The metal contraption acted as a case around the main attraction of the room, which consisted of two small cages, separated by a silver guillotine.
Nicky had come across a machine such as this only once before, in nazi germany. It was used for intercision, the process of separating a person from their daemon permanently, cutting their very soul in half.
Pyxel had fallen silent as well, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he started, wide eyed at the contraption. Fear greater than anything he had felt before bubbled in his chest, and without even realising it Nicky tried to move backwards. His fear was so great that any other thought was pushed to the background. Fortunately, Kozak seemed to have expected such a response.
Nicky had seen people who had been severed before, and concluded it was worse than anything else that could happen. What was left was barely human, a ghost trapped in a mortal shell.
Whether it was actually possible for someone such as himself to be severed, Nicky didn't know, but the idea of trying made him sick. There were brief moments, when they died, that the guard would lose their daemons. Those moments were pure torture, only eased when you came back.
As he was led towards the two boxes, Nicky fought. It did nothing, he was easily overpowered when they jabbed his daemon through the bars. Pyxel screeched and cried for help, so loud Nicky felt it must be audible from outside the building.
As he was shoved into one of the containers, Nicky prayed for Joe. he prayed that Joe would somehow be able to save him in time, and if not, that he would not be too hurt by what was left. Nicky prayed that it would not stick, like all other areas of their immortality.
Pyxel was violently thrown into the parallel box, both of his wings broken. As they slotted back into place, Nicky and Pyxel reached for each other, Nicky clawing at the walls. The barn owl mirrored his desperation, and Nicky prayed this would not be their last moment together.
To live a human life without a daemon was torture, to live for an eternity… Nicky wondered how long it would take him to become like Booker. It would be like losing Joe.
Bloody streaks dripped down onto the floor where Nicky wore his fingers to the bone. An echoing creak sounded throughout the room as the cleaver was raised, and Nicky found himself unable to form a single word. All he could do was look at Pyxaanthal through the small glass slot.
An alarm sounded, and for just a second there was silence. Then a slicing sound, and the worst pain Nicky had ever felt.
— — — — —
Joe didn't know who was fighting harder to escape from their bonds, himself or Aero. His chinchilla daemon made the most awful screaming sounds, echoing the desperate shriek they heard Pyxel make earlier.
Whatever was happening to his beloved had to be severe, to warrant such a reaction from the usually stoic owl. Joe tried to tell himself that he would know if Nicky were dead, he would feel it somehow.
Neither Andy nor Booker tried to say anything, which was for the best. Andy knew better than to believe Joe could be soothed when his Nicky was missing, and Booker had the sense to stay quiet, after what he had done. Jesarox, Booker’s daemon, was flat in her cage, the horned lizard more subdued than usual.
Barnerix was as deadly as ever, the lynx prowling back and forth within his pen, snarling at anyone who dared come close.
The waiting was the worst torture Joe could have imagined, and it could have been months before they heard gunshots. For the first time, Joe perked up, and Aero fell silent, praying that it was Nicky. That their love had managed to escape and was coming to their rescue, ever Joe’s knight in shining armour.
With bated breath, they listened as the shots grew nearer, until the door burst open. Nile shot the guards without a second thought, her daemon snarling and covered with blood. He barked softly when he lay his eyes on the group, Nile’s own relief reflected in him.
“Nile, she’s got Nicky. The witch has Nicolo and Pyxaanthal,” Joe explains frantically, barely able to keep his words straight. Andy wasted no time getting the others out, and Joe restrained himself when Booker complained. Whatever happened to Nicky, he would do thrice over to Booker, staying here was not enough punishment.
As soon as Aero is out, she climbs onto his shoulder, too small to keep up with his running. They didn't need to speak, dashing from the room in a dead sprint, determined to find Nicky. He trusted the others to take down anyone who might be stupid enough to cross their path.
Their journey passed in a blurred rattle of gunfire and screams, Joe’s eyes filled with dust. Radi, Nile’s daemon, led the way, his acute sense of smell easily distinguishing Nicky from the sterile hallways.
It was only Joe and Nile now, Booker and Andy vanishing into the fray to make sure anyone who might cause them harm was dead. They were as furious as Joe was, and were he feeling more sympathetic he would pity their victims.
Eventually, they came across a room that was different from the others. It was filled with beds, similar to army barracks, and equally as utilitarian. Single pillows and bedsheets were set on each, with pieces of medical equipment dotted around. Only one person was in the room, and that was Nicky.
Joe gasped when he saw his beloved, only just able to prevent himself from grabbing the man in his arms and refusing to let go when he saw Nicky’s face. Aero didn't stop, leaping into his arms and pressing her soft face into his skin. Nicky didn't so much as blink.
“Nicky? What’s wrong?” Nile asked, looking between Joe and Nicky anxiously. Radi let out a soft whimper by her side, sniffing the air. “Where’s Pyxel?”
That was what it was, the thing that gave the room an overpowering sense of wrongness. The gentle barn owl, the daemon he loved as much as his own, was noticeably absent. There was not even a tawny feather to be seen.
Nicky looked terrible, pale and expressionless. Joe moved slowly, taking his lover's hand into his own, almost collapsing with relief when Nicky finally moved. It was slow, far too slow given the inherent urgency of the situation and the blaring alarms.
Nicky blinked slowly, as though he had only just woken up. Shivers ran through his body, and Joe realised what was happening. These monsters were probably keeping Pyxel away, it would explain the symptoms.
Swallowing his own fear, Joe placed a hand on Nicky’s cheek.
“Where is Pyxel, my dear? We need to find him, and then we can leave this horrible place. You were right, love. Nile came back, just like you said.” Nicky barely reacted, but followed his guidance when Joe pulled him into a standing position.
“Tell us where Pyxel is Nicky,” Nile pleaded. “We have to move quickly, there could be more guards coming.”
“You won’t find him.” Nicky’s voice was rasping and painful to hear, like he had been screaming until his throat was torn to shreds. He spoke quietly, even more so than usual, and there was no discernable emotion in his voice. Joe’s heart almost stopped then and there.
“What do you mean, my love? Do you not know where he is?” It was a dumb question, but Joe couldn’t comprehend what he was hearing. What the implication might be.
“They took him from me. I couldn't… I couldn't reach him. Right in front of me…” Nicky’s sentences were disjointed, nothing like his usual speech patterns. Whilst Joe had more talent when it came to off the cuff poetry, Nicky always thought through what he was saying.
“What are you saying?” Joe begged, mouth dry.
“They killed him. They severed him, turned him to dust. I can’t… I can't feel him, Joe. Why can't I find him?” For the first time, there was something more in Nicky’s voice. It was a dreadful mixture of fear and desperation that Joe had never heard before, and prayed he would never hear again.
Nile made a sound, her own daemon mournfully howling. Joe was lost for words, the true weight of what had happened to his beloved Nicolo, whilst Joe was just rooms away and unable to do anything.
They had severed him. They had torn Nicky and Pyxaanthal in two.
They had severed him.
Before he realised it, Joe was crying. Mute tears fell down his cheeks, and for the first time he felt truly lost for words. Aero cried out, voice broken with grief.
“We…” Joe swallowed, forcing himself to keep going. “We will find a way to fix this, my love. We will get him back, okay? I need you to trust me.” Either from force of habit or faith, Nicky nodded shakily. He staggered after the pair when they started moving.
Despite everything, Joe felt a flare of love as strong as ever. Even now, Nicky trusted him, even when Joe himself was doubting his words. He was determined that they would find a way to fix this, they had to. There was no other option. He just didn't know how.
They travelled as a unit, Nicky between Joe and Nile as he could barely move forward let alone fight. More than once, Nile took a bullet destined for his love, and Joe felt a wave of affection so strong that Aero was momentarily distracted from her place on Nicky’s shoulder.
Normally, when Nicky was in contact with Aero, Joe felt his love. Their unconditional adoration for each other, their bond that went beyond any words Joe could be capable of. Now Joe felt vacant, empty. It went beyond numbness, instead there was a gaping wound within him, a vortex that sucked in all thought and feeling.
If he was just getting a ghost of what Nicky was feeling, and found it near unbearable, he couldn't imagine how his husband was functioning. Tears fell from his eyes shamelessly, but they had to keep moving.
At last, they caught up to Andy and Booker. Both were dappled with blood, spots of red and brown across their skin and clothes. Barnerix spotted their arrival first, calling out in greeting.
Joe could see the exact moment they realised that they were missing someone, he saw the way Andy’s eyes went vacant and Booker’s daemon slumped on his shoulder.
“Where’s Pyxaanthal?” Andy demanded. Joe didn't miss the way Nicky flinched, nor the way he averted his gaze from all of them, especially their daemons. The only sign he was listening was the way he gently held Aero when she pressed her muzzle into his cheek. Joe opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't bear to use the words.
“They severed them, Pyxel is gone.” Nile was the one to speak. Andy’s face contorted with a mixture of pain, rage, and horror, more expression than she would ever usually show. Only her Nico could warrant such a reaction.
Booker let out a string of french, voice growing higher in pitch. Joe almost killed him then and there, only restraining himself through pragmatism. Booker knew how to navigate the internet, he knew how to make contacts. He was nothing but a tool, and when he had outlived his usefulness Joe would bury him alive.
“We’re getting out of here. Just hold on Nico, we will fix this.” Andy spoke with complete authority, taking control of the situation before they could fall into despair.
Nicky, for his part, didn't so much as blink.
— — — — —
“It’s our best option,” Andy repeated, showing remarkable restraint. Joe paced back and forth, feeling the tug on his bond with Aero as it was pushed to its limit. The chinchilla had refused to leave Nicky’s side, not even for a second, and Joe wished he could do the same.
Still, they had to do something. Since they returned home, Joe had barely slept, alternating between comforting his distraught husband and looking for a way to fix what had been broken. Joe felt grief for Pyxel like a knife in his heart, only bearable through his certainty that it could be resolved.
It had been Booker who suggested it, when all other areas returned nothing.
“When we die, our daemons die. When we come back, they come back.” Booker reasoned, eyes red rimmed with exhaustion. ‘Good’, Joe thought bitterly, glad to see that Booker was feeling just a hair of their pain.
“He hasn’t died since that day, for all we know he might not…” Joe couldnt force himself to suggest that Nicky could die.
“He isn't living, Joe.” Andy said, ignoring Joe when he flinched like he had been struck. He opened his mouth to argue, but nothing happened.
It had been nearly three weeks, and Nicky had only gotten worse. He didn't speak, not since that day. He would stare blankly at nothing, or at things only he could see, barely acknowledging Joe even on good days. The others did not get so much as a twitch. Sometimes, he would start crying, reaching a peak of uncontrolled sobbing where Joe was too afraid to leave him even to go to the bathroom.
Joe couldn't imagine a worse torture than having to watch his beloved suffer so much. He would light himself on fire, throw himself into acid, swallow glass, whatever it took, to make Nicky happy again.
As painful as it was to admit, Joe knew that the only reason Nicky still clung to life was for him.
They were trapped in the worst place. Joe couldn’t find a way forward, but there was no going back either. Nicky was still healing, but usually if they were accidentally severed their bond would heal like the rest of them. They had never faced something like this before, they had never known that this was something they needed to fear.
Joe shuddered. They had tried everything else, spoken to any witch that would listen, even spoken to those who wouldn't. Looked up thousands of severing case studies, and went through hours of research into the topic. There was nothing, and unless some new genius popped up there would be nothing for a long time.
As much as he hated to say it, Booker might have the best idea. Ultimately, it came down to one question.
Nicky was barely surviving. Joe knew Nicky better than he knew himself, and he could tell that his beloved did not want to exist as he was doing so now. If he were in his right mind, Nicky would agree to the risks, if there was any chance that he could return to how he was.
He would have no reason to be, but Nicky would feel ashamed to see himself as he was. That was just the type of person Nicky was, he had always needed to help people. He would have hated to be a ‘burden’ not that he ever could be.
The question was whether Joe was able to accept the same. Was he willing to risk losing Nicky? Would he prefer to keep Nicky here as he was for as long as possible, stay by his side until something changed, or risk letting him go for the chance of a better life for his husband.
Really, there was only one true answer.
“Okay.” He agreed at last. “Okay, you’re right. I would rather that I suffer than him.” He was weeping shamelessly, and knew that the others were doing the same. They all knew what this was.
At best, it would bring Pyxel and Nicky back. At worst it would be either a mercy killing or they would be back to stage one.
“Joe, I should be the one to-” Joe cut Andy off with a single motion of his hand.
“It should be me.” Andy hesitated, before eventually nodding. From day one, it had been Joe and Nicky. Their earliest deaths had been at the hands of each other, and if this might be the last Joe felt it was his duty.
Without another word, the others solemnly walked upstairs, with the exception of Booker. Joe would not allow him near Nicky, not when it was his fault they were in this position.
— — — — —
Joe was alone, only himself, Aero, and Nicky in their bedroom. Nicky stared blankly ahead, eyes glassy and distant. Joe didn't know if he could even hear him, but he explained what they were doing anyway. In his hand, the knife felt like it held the weight of an anvil.
“I don't want you to be scared,” he whispered between tears. “I can't be without you, but if the alternative is to watch you suffer for eternity… please Nicolo, tell me what to do.” Nicolo merely breathed in response.
“The worst part is, I know that you won't blame me. I know that even if you don't come back, even if this doesn't work, you won't blame me. And I know that if I asked you to, you would hold on forever for me. So I'm not going to ask that.
“If you need to go, if you need to be with Pyxaanthal, then that's okay. I forgive you, alright? You are my everything, my all and more. I can survive it, if I know that you are at peace. I can live knowing that someday we will be reunited.”
He felt frozen. He could never be ready to do this, there was no way on earth he could be prepared. So he did it.
The knife was sharp, Joe had made sure of it. A gun was too violent, too loud, Nicky had appreciated their convenience but had never liked them. Anything else would have been slow, too slow for Joe to keep his nerve.
Within seconds of making the incision, directly into the carotid arteries, Nicky was gone. Just before, there was a moment of clarity in his gaze, a brief flash of recognition. There had been so much love, so much forgiveness, so much gratitude.
Somehow, the wait was even worse than watching Nicky suffer. Those seconds looking at Nicky’s body, waiting for any sign of movement, always lasting just longer than you thought it would take normally.
Then, there was something. A flash of feathers and the sound of flapping, the feel of air moving around him as an owl took flight. Joe smiled, collapsing with relief, the last thing he saw prior to fainting being a familiar circular face.
When he awoke, he was in a familiar pair of arms. Faster than he had ever moved before, Joe pushed himself upright, taking Nicky’s face in his own. Immediately, he could see that his beloved husband was back, that spark in his eye that had been missing was there once more.
“Nicolo! Oh Nicolo I am so sorry. I didn't know what to do, don't ever leave me like that again. Don't you dare.” Nicky let out a weak, breathy chuckle.
“Never. Never again.” He promised, sounding so much like Nicolo. A head pushed into his arm, Pyxaanthal forcing himself between the hugging couple. He made a purring cry, beak chattering.
Joe at last sat back, looking at the owl. He was thinner than he had been, missing a few patches of feathers, but it was unmistakably him.
“We will never be taken from you again, not if we have anything to say about it,” Pyxel assured. Joe kissed them both, Aero squawking happily as she bounced between the trio.
At last, things were going to be okay.