Chapter Text
Tap. Tap. Tap.
“Are you nervous about something, Miss Tohsaka?” Leo asked with a smile as he watched Rin continuously tap her fingers on the table.
Nervous? Huh. If anything, she was thinking of a way to murder him right there.
Well, it’s impossible, considering Gawain is watching over them.
While it’s not her style to sneak an attack, desperate situations call for desperate measures, and she lost the chance to defeat him in battle.
But, well, those are just thoughts.
Compelling thoughts, but thoughts nonetheless.
“So, what do you want?” Rin asked sharply.
The most annoying thing about Leo, is that he’s perfect. Far too perfect.
Under different circumstances, he would be the perfect leader, and the one who could possibly lead humanity to a better future.
But those circumstances don’t exist here.
Leo is the puppet of the Harweys’ ideals. The perfect king groomed into beliefs that are not his own.
But that’s not for Rin to ponder on. An enemy is an enemy.
“There’s no need to be so on edge, unless you wish to attack me?” Leo asked. His eyes showed no malice, there was no desire to hurt her. His kind face is disarming, but not to her. She knew better than to trust that. “I’m aware of your current condition. You’ve lost your rights as a master, but the frozen command seals on your hand prevent you from getting eliminated.”
“And?” Rin raised an eyebrow. She could stab him. She has a knife hidden under her skirt. She could reach for a gem. Though she had a feeling Gawain would cut her down in an instant.
Besides, trying to start a fight outside the arena might cause the MoonCell to eliminate her for sure.
“You’re a formidable foe. You’ve made a name for yourself as a terrorist at such an age. I find it a shame that we’re both on opposite sides.”
Leo started, and Rin crossed her arms. “That’s why I want to make an offer. We could use someone like you, and I’d rather not waste away a hacker with your skills and potential. If you would hear me out, you would know that you’re fighting for a pointless cause. The future you fight for is full of chaos.”
“Hm, so you’re taking advantage of the fact that I’ll either be stuck here forever or get eliminated. And you’re offering me a way out.”
“I should be able to find a way to return you to your body once I’m victorious. You are someone worthy of my respect, I’d like for us to work together.”
“Together, huh?” Rin hummed. “Leo, have you ever been around civilians? People who don’t work for you, but are trying to live their normal lives?”
“Of course.”
“Did you ever see the children smile?” Rin asked, and the silence he gave her was the answer she needed. “A future where even children can’t smile, isn’t a future worth living in.”
“In the future you seek, children won’t survive.” Leo shook his head. “I understand your point, but I don’t seek a future where humanity dies faster. I wish to build a future where they can survive, and I am ready to make any sacrifices needed.”
“Because certain regions are expandable, is that it? Sacrifice those who don’t agree with you, to save those forced to believe in you.” Rin smiled coldly. “I can’t say I’m morally correct here, after all, the future I seek might cause humanity to die out faster. There will be more conflict, and less resources. But I can’t live in a world where people can’t dream.”
“Those are inspiring words, Miss Tohsaka.” Leo chuckled. “Inspiring but foolish.”
“Then tell me, did you ever fail?”
“Of course not.”
Rin smiled and stood up.
“That’s exactly why you’ll lose, Leo.” She announced with pride. She was wrong. Far too perfect? No, he was flawed just like everyone else. It’s just that his flaw was well hidden. “You don’t understand anything outside of the ideas passed down to you. You’re stuck in your own little bubble, safe and comfortable. You were created perfect, you were given the most powerful servant, you’ve had your path laid out for you. Someone who has never struggled or failed, can never grow.”
To her surprise, Gawain remained quiet. He didn’t say anything to protect his master.
“You’re being sentimental, Miss Tohsaka. Why would I need to fail? There’s no future where that can happen.”
“There is, and I can see it.” Rin pointed at him. “You’re stuck just like the world you’re trying to rule, and eventually someone who fought their way to the top will dethrone you. You haven’t learned anything since the start of this war, and you never will. A king whose throne is handed to him doesn’t deserve it, especially one who doesn’t understand the hearts of others.”
“...!” Gawain flinched.
Those were words he heard before.
“Miss Tohsaka, I think you’re mistaken about me. I am fighting to earn the right to lead. You may see me that way, but you’ll soon be proven wrong. The world you and that boy wish to see is a fantasy. It’s a wonderful one, I’ll admit, but dreams won’t be enough to protect everyone. I have a responsibility towards everyone. I can’t afford to take risks.” Leo’s words remained calm despite Rin’s accusations.
She couldn’t deny his point of view.
Of course, he’s still wrong about many things. He’s willing to take away the freedom and happiness of everyone to keep them alive.
It’s the kind of logic only an AI would come up with.
“I can’t deny you’re right about some things, after all, the future is so unsure and shaky that taking risks could make it worse. But never taking risks means losing the opportunity to make things better.” Rin sighed, and then, a question came to mind. “Leo, do you want to protect them because you care? Or because you’re forced to?”
Leo looked surprised at her question.
“Because I care, of course.”
“…I see.” Rin nodded. That was enough for her. Leo didn’t seem convinced.
No, it’s not about conviction.
It’s about a lack of understanding.
Her enemy might be the best candidate to save humanity, but with the way he is right now, he’s no savior.
He’s a child who was taught how to survive, but not how to love.
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There was still an uncomfortable feeling in Shirou’s chest even after leaving the arena and returning to the infirmary.
It’s like trying to scrub the dirt off your skin but the more you try, the more it latches on to you.
That’s how it felt to be touched by Julius’ hatred.
And the worst part is that he’s responsible for what happened.
Shirou is Julius’ killer, and now this vengeful ghost has come back to haunt him.
“Don’t tell me you’re starting to regret fighting him.” Archer was the first to speak after Shirou and Caster explained everything. “If you’re regressing, then I have a half mind to kill you myself.”
His words were harsh, but there was no actual killing intent, only disappointment.
Shirou shook his head.
“It’s something I had to do, so even if I regret it… I had no other choice.” He said. It’s not easy to just brush off killing someone, but he knows better than to let that consume him. His only choice is to move forward. “The issue now is that he found a way to come back, and he wants to kill me.”
“It seems that the reason he found a way to avoid elimination is through using other masters’ command seals.” Rani pondered. “Sakura, do you have any thoughts about this?”
Oh, that’s right. Since Sakura is an AI, she would know more about this.
“It seems that he found a loophole through those command seals, so he’s still recognized as a master, but since his process of elimination started, he should not last long.” Sakura explained as she poured tea for everyone. “He’s not considered a bug yet, but soon enough he’ll be recognized as corrupted data and will be eliminated.”
“Which means that he’ll try to attack you again soon.” Rin took a sip from the tea.
“He’s running out of time, so he’ll resort to desperate measures.” Nero joined in. “He’ll likely attack you once you let your guard down.”
“So we have the elimination battle to worry about, and Julius as well.” Shirou sighed, and stared at the cup in front of him. He saw his reflection staring back at him.
How can he fix this?
To many, Julius isn’t someone worth saving. He’s a cold hearted assassin.
But Shirou saw someone exhausted. A tool used and discarded.
He wondered, did that man ever yearn for anything?
Was there a hint of life in those eyes at some point?
“Casko, you’re strangely quiet.” Nero was the first to notice Caster’s lack of interaction. Although her statement seemed neutral, Shirou felt like there was some worry behind it. “Don’t tell me you fear the elimination battle.”
“Of course not.” Caster dismissed her. “I’ll win for sure.”
“If you ever feel scared, I’ll take your place.” There it is, Nero’s usual teasing, but this time Caster did not respond to the bait.
“Yes, yes.”
Nero frowned, and so did Shirou.
Usually, they’d start fighting over anything, but Caster didn’t seem eager to participate in her favorite activity this time.
She must be worried because of what happened with Julius.
“Anyway, I suggest that you focus on your current opponent. Did you gather all the information you need?” Rin asked, trying to break the ice.
“Yeah, I think we’re good. We already know her true name.” Shirou glanced at Caster's way. The issue now is that Caster has trouble with Berserkers, but Shirou wouldn’t say that outloud. He wants to- no, he will believe in her. He promised he would.
Maybe that’s why she seems upset?
Maybe he should say something.
“I’m confident we’ll defeat her. We’ve prepared for everything.” He said, in hopes that his words could lift her spirit. “And I think you should stop worrying about me so much, you have things to deal with too, you know?”
“I got it all covered! So, stop telling me that.” Rin carefully avoided the look Rani gave her. Sometimes, lying is okay! “But if you’re so worried, then why don’t you make us some dinner?”
“I’m not opposed to a feast, but shouldn’t you let him rest?” Nero shook her head in disapproval. “Perhaps we should force Archer to cook this time.”
“Hey, what’s your problem with me specifically?” Archer objected.
Shirou quietly cheered for Nero bullying Archer. Justice truly exists in the world and it is beautiful.
He stood up from his chair and decided to make dinner for everyone. It would at least help him clear his mind. Caster joined in to help him as usual, but he noticed she was way calmer, and barely made any of her usual jokes.
He didn’t question her. He had trouble understanding her.
Although Caster acts so friendly around him, he couldn’t help but feel like their relationship wasn’t as good as- Nevermind, he’d rather die than admit to getting along with Archer.
He’ll try to talk to her tomorrow.
They’re partners, so they need to have mutual understanding, and if he did something that bothered her, then he’ll apologize for it.
With that thought, Shirou went to sleep, hoping to recover his energy.
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An honest wish was born out of curiosity.
Perhaps it was even born out of a misleading sense of justice.
A wish that led to her biggest mistake, but an honest wish nonetheless.
Humans are curious little things aren’t they?
Their lives are short and full of struggles, yet they can still achieve happiness despite that.
Tragic, ephemeral, and so beautiful.
And so, driven by curiosity, she posed as the courtesan Mizukume.
She was incarnated as a young human girl on earth, and lost all memories of herself as a goddess.
It was a foolish decision, wasn’t it? She should have remained in her place, and let curiosity remain just that.
But wishes can’t be easily ignored, can they?
Mizukume grew to be a true beauty and then, the emperor Toba fell in love with her at first sight.
She managed to experience a human’s life, but only for a short period.
One day, she woke up with ears growing out of her head. She was anxious, and did everything she could to hide them, only to be identified as a fox spirit, and forced to flee the palace.
It must have been terrifying to wake up one day, and find out you’re no longer human. And even worse, to be chased down by both humans and hounds.
Did it matter if her love for the emperor was real or not? Or if she was just leading him on?
Of course not.
An unhuman being cannot experience human happiness.
He could see her sitting alone in the fields of Nasuno, scared and crying as she was separated from the one she loved, and was hunted down by those who claimed to love her.
And amongst all that chaos, and surrounded by foxes, she realized who she really was.
“What a fool I was.”
The painful realization crushed her. Her love and desire for humans cost her greatly. Humans can only love other humans.
Most times, they can’t love other humans without exploiting them.
They attacked her, and instead of fleeing again, she fought back.
It rained arrows for three days straight, and he was forcing himself to watch the massacre. He watched as her rage and grief turned into apologies and regret.
“I wasn’t trying to fool anyone.”
She painfully fought back. Her face covered with blood and tears must have looked monstrous to them.
“I’ll leave now, so please forget all about me.”
The arrows continued to rain over her. The assault never stopped, and the hatred never lessened.
Her words. Her pleas. Her apologizes.
They all fell on deaf ears.
No one wanted to listen.
She realized how narrow minded they are.
How much hatred they hold, and how self-righteous they can be.
Who was the monster in this situation? The humans who wished to kill her? Or the woman defending herself?
Was it truly a mistake to walk amongst them?
Despite all that, she still held grief towards them. She has realized how fragile human life is.
She never wished to take something she admired with all her heart.
He couldn’t avert his eyes from this sickening sight.
It was only when an arrow struck her down that he subconsciously reached out to her.
He watched her fall down with an agonizing scream, but knew there was nothing he could do for her.
He simply watched her take her last breath and listened to her heart’s pleas.
Why did no one listen to me?
Why did no one spare me?
Why did no one try to save me?
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Shirou woke up.
It was as unsettling as when he saw Archer’s memories, so he simply stared at the ceiling.
Those were Caster’s memories, and he felt like he invaded them and saw things he shouldn’t have.
Unlike Nero who told him her story on her own, and Archer whose memories served as a lesson, Caster’s felt like a breach of privacy.
After all, she kept to herself despite her cheerful attitude.
Caster guarded her true self around him, and he was starting to understand why.
It’s unpleasant. It’s uncomfortable.
…The desire to serve others… it’s as if no matter the intentions, that desire leads to destruction.
“Master, did you have another nightmare?”
Caster appeared out of nowhere to stare down at him, and this time, he wasn’t startled by her antics. He sort of expected it, and the memories left a terrible taste in his mouth, so his focus on it prevented him from getting startled.
“I’m okay.” He said and sat up. “Why are you awake, Caster? Even if you don't need sleep, it gets boring to be awake all the time, right?”
“I was asleep, but then my senses told me that my Master is in trouble! Aren’t I the best? A wife’s senses never fail!”
Hm.
Sure, whatever.
He started to sense that Caster just says the most random things to throw him off a loop and confuse him, and she’s doing a great job if that’s her goal.
“Shut up, Casko. If you’re going to be loud, at least be entertaining.” Nero rubbed her eyes and sighed.
Archer on the other hand, had something plugged into his ears, and a sleeping mask on. Shirou had a feeling he’s awake, but was trying to avoid everyone as much as possible.
What an idiot. He shouldn’t use projection to make useless things.
Shirou sighed.
“Hey, I think I want to go on a walk. Is it okay if I go alone?” Shirou asked and-
“No way!” Both Caster and Nero answered. “You’re in danger! That Berserker could attack you, and that ghostly assassin might show up!” Caster reasoned with him. “Master, you’re tired of me, is that it?” She asked dramatically.
“Answer her question, Master! Is this a story of tragedy? Can’t two partners continue and struggle together? Is this the story of an unrequited love?!” Nero lost the plot, apparently!
Shirou lives in a circus, but hopefully he’s not the biggest clown around.
That would be Archer.
“Nothing like that! I just wanted to think about some things, but if you’re so worried about me, I’ll just take Archer with me!” Archer flinched in the back. “And, it must suck being around us guys all the time right? You probably want some alone time for you girls, right?” Shirou would rather shove a sword into his skull than hang out with Archer but he needed to get away for a bit.
“I’d rather shove a sword into my skull than hang out with you.” Archer said and immediately cursed for exposing himself.
So glad the feeling of skull destroying tendencies is mutual!
“Thanks for your cooperation, Archer!” Shirou forced the words out and dragged him outside with him, leaving the other two servants confused.
“So tragedy it is.” Nero concluded on her own.
“Saber.”
“What is it, Caster?”
“You should fight Berserker instead.” Caster turned to her with a serious expression. Nero had to pause and stare at her.
“What? You said you can handle her.” Nero said. Unlike her usual conversations with the other servant, this time she kept her voice calm and collected. “Do you doubt your powers, Caster?”
“Hmph. I’m not at my full power, but I can still defeat you, Saber. Don’t push your luck.” Caster answered with a mischievous smile, though no humor reached her eyes. “I’m not fit to be that boy’s servant. If I reveal my true name by allowing him to use my Noble phantasm, he’ll surely reject me. He’s far too heroic to accept fighting with me.”
A hero and a villain fighting together? How absurd.
He’s willing to save even people who tried to kill him, but that naive heroism has limits. People like that break easily, if they’re not already broken.
If you give your whole self to others, only to be betrayed or realize you saved the wrong person, it will surely ruin you.
Besides, she already served someone who wanted to save others before.
Even if you want to get close to such people… there’s forever a wall that prevents you from doing so.
Those who are slaves to their ideals, can never be saved.
“How foolish, Caster. Are you using that as an excuse for your fragility? And here I thought I respected you a little.” Nero’s tone was sharp. Not out of hatred, but out of disappointment. “He chose to fight by your side, and you reject him because you’ve made assumptions? You fool!” Nero stood up and pointed towards her.
“What do you understand, Saber?” Caster glared at her. “Your optimism is such an eyesore. I am doing this for his own good. You can play the role of the kind mentor to him all you want, but you can only do it because you are one of your so-called ‘stars’ you always speak of. You can hide your stains of blood from him but there’s only so much you can keep from him. Such an idealistic person like him will likely break by the end of this.”
“You’re wrong, Caster.” Nero shook her head. “I’ve told him of my crimes, he knows I’m not a good person, and he knows that about Archer as well. All servants have been tainted by blood, what you don’t understand is that through these struggles, he’s learning and growing! You can’t teach a child by never exposing them to the ugliness of the world! Otherwise, they would never appreciate the true beauty around them! And as much as I can’t stand you, I would be wrong to deny your beauty, Caster!”
Nero spoke with so much conviction that it left Caster speechless.
It wasn’t that her words motivated her. They’re certainly the words of a leader, though, it only served to highlight the differences between them.
One stares at the bright sky, the other turns away from the sight.
“...I just can’t get along with you at all, Saber.”
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“What is going on with you?” Archer complained the whole time. “I thought I made it clear that I’m done babysitting you.”
“Trust me, you’d be the last person I want to hang out with. I just wanted to be alone for a bit.” Shirou rolled his eyes. For someone who didn’t want to talk to him, Archer sure loves to talk.
“I see. So you’re going back to moping? Could it be that you’re choosing to be naive again because of Julius’ situation? There’s no point in thinking about saving the dead. You know that.”
“Of course I do.” Shirou hated when this guy spoke facts. Just because he’s right doesn’t mean he likes it.
You can’t save the dead. If Shirou could do that he could go back and-
No, that’s not right.
Even if it’s possible, it’s not something that should be tampered with.
The past must remain the past. All that tragedy and pain, and the people who lived and mourned through it, all of that is real.
But this is different. If someone here in the present could still be ‘saved’, then he won’t hesitate.
Of course, he learned his lesson that not everyone can be saved, and that there are people who don’t want to be saved.
But Julius’ eyes were pleading for help. How could he ignore that?
As long as someone wishes it, Shirou will still reach out to them.
Shirou made his way to the fountain, after Archer finally stopped talking and kept his distance. He stopped to pick a flower, then sat down by the fountain to stare at it.
He didn’t look at the water, because he knew it’d be full of them.
Just because he accepted this reality, doesn’t mean that it makes death any easier to swallow.
He wondered. Did they feel satisfied in their dying moments? Did they try to find a way to escape? Were they scared?
…There’s no point in thinking about it.
It’s just that… he couldn’t forget the despair on Caster’s face in that memory.
“May I join you?”
Shirou looked to the side to see Rani.
She stood near the fountain, her eyes occasionally glancing towards the fake moon illuminating the garden.
“Hey.” Shirou nodded and shifted away a little, even though the fountain had more than enough space for them both. “What brings you here?”
“I wanted to watch the stars.” She sat down next to him.
“Wouldn’t the roof have a clearer view?”
“I’m afraid that if I spend too much time in Miss Tohsaka’s territory, something terrible will happen.”
“Like what?”
“She is teaching me how not to act as a human thanks to her rude behavior, however, we cannot rule out the possibility of me adapting some of it. Having two Miss Tohsakas would be a disservice to humanity.”
Shirou snorted.
Yeah, two might be too much to handle.
He turned the flower between his fingers and almost lost himself in thoughts again if not for her next question.
“Why do you keep staring at that flower?”
“Oh. Uh.” He awkwardly glanced between her and the flower. “The other day I saw a girl leaving flowers in the fountain. It’s sort of like a grave for the dead masters.”
“I see.” Rani nodded. “Is that what’s bothering you?”
Shirou thought for a moment. Yeah it bothered him, but it was hardly the only thing on his mind. The masters, Julius, Caster…
He’s working on it, but you can’t undo the guilt eating you up in a day or two.
Emiya Shirou has lived his life by carrying the dead with him.
Rational thoughts tell him that the current situation isn’t his fault, but those thoughts are quiet compared to the constant guilt that he feels.
When he defeated Lancer’s master, he came to the conclusion that not everyone can or should be saved, but with Julius, there might still be a chance, but seeing the state he’s in… it’s hard not to feel guilty.
Even if he is a killer.
Even if Caster, Archer, and Saber are all killers.
His heart felt heavy.
“I… thought about how far I am from achieving my ideals.” Shirou confessed. It’s a little embarrassing to talk about it, being a hero of justice is considered a childish dream. And for a while, it was only a borrowed ideal. “I wanted to become a hero of justice. I wanted to make a world where no one has to suffer, or at least, a world where I can save as many people as possible. But I feel useless.”
“I see. What led you to this thought?” Rani asked.
“…I had a strange dream. Well, more like I saw Caster’s memories .The same happened with Archer before.” Shirou confessed. He then paused, unsure whether he should continue or not. Honestly, it was stupid and irrational.
“Go on. I’m listening.” Rani encouraged him.
“…I wanted to save them.” He said. “I know I can’t do that, but I couldn’t help it. I’m frustrated. Ever since I showed up here, I kept facing people I couldn’t help. Even though they both protected me, there’s not a single thing I can do for them.”
Yeah, it’s the dumbest thing, honestly.
You can’t save what’s already dead.
But to him, those three servants are alive and real.
Their hands reached out to him, but he couldn't reach back.
…some hero he’s supposed to be.
The silence lasted for a few seconds, but to Shirou, it lasted forever.
Until Rani took a deep breath.
“It is pointless to think about saving someone who is already dead.” Rani gave him a rational answer. One he can’t disagree with. “However, perhaps you can give them a nice dream. These servants are copies of their original selves, but one can consider them to be fleeting dreams after their deaths. I’m sure that the time they’ve spent with you is precious to them.”
Wow, that’s… a response that’s unlike her.
Though she doesn’t mean to, Rani often gives calculated answers. But this one was sentimental to a fault.
A nice dream in this kind of place?
He thought of the time he spent here, of the lunches he shared with everyone. It’s all about those shared laughs and lunches, isn’t it?
“Rani.” He said softly, and gave her a smile. “You sounded like a human, you know?”
He spoke with pride. That was a sentimental answer, something that he wasn’t sure would’ve come from her when they first met.
Rani’s expression shifted subtly. Her lips moved slightly, unsure if they wanted to settle on a smile or not. Though her eyes had a soft sparkle to them.
“My teacher would have been happy to hear that.” Rani said. Her words dripped with melancholy, and then, she turned to him with a small smile. “You feel useless, because you are unaware of the impact your actions have. I would have succumbed to my own darkness, and I would have failed to see the things that I see now, if not for your stubbornness.” Rani explained, softly. “I recommend you do not think of what you couldn’t do, but focus on what you can do in the future. Focus on what you can save now, because otherwise, you’re being unproductive.”
“…Thank you, Rani. I needed this.” Shirou sighed in relief. He made a difference? Honestly, Rani did the work herself, but she’s not giving herself enough credit. He didn’t do anything, but her words still cheered him up. Both her and Archer are right. He shouldn’t focus on the dead… but he’ll have to deal with Julius either way.
He’ll have to fight him again. He’s not sure there’s a way to save him, but the least he can do is listen to him.
If he can give him some comfort before it’s all over, then… maybe that’s enough.
…He can’t do the same for his servants.
So he’ll try to be the best master he could be. It’s the only thing he can do.
“Shirou, may I take your hand?” Rani’s question jumpscared him. To her it didn’t seem like a big deal, but to him, it took all of his will power not to do a flip.
Hand holding?! That’s insane. That’s unthinkable. Everyone on the moon wants him dead.
For a healthy young man like himself, holding a girl’s hand will skyrocket his heart beat and he will die.
That’s why he’ll say no-
“Yes, sure.” He screamed internally. “Why though?”
“If I may, I’d like to read your fortune for you.” Rani said.
“You can do that? That’s cool.” Shirou gave her his hand, only for her to give him a look.
“There is a first time for everything.”
“…So you’ve never done it before, huh.” He kind of got his hopes up there.
Even so, he still enjoyed himself as Rani made her first attempt. They talked for a while more before walking their separate ways.
His heart may not be at ease yet, but he felt a little lighter.
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The elimination battle is finally here.
Shirou made breakfast for everyone again. It became a habit, and a sort of comfort.
He checked if he had all of the items he needed, did all the research he needed, and equipped the Scarlet Formal Wear that he got from Rin.
All that’s left now, is to head to the elevator, and use the triggers he collected.
Shirou stopped in the hallway, and turned back to Caster, who gave him her usual smile.
“What’s wrong? Master, this isn’t the time to stare at your beautiful servant! We have to head to the elevator!” Caster’s ears twitched. Although she was back to her usual antics, he could still sense something was off.
“I was wondering if something is wrong.” Shirou said, hoping that she would be honest with him.
“W-What are you talking about?” His question seemed to fluster her. “Your beautiful and amazing and loyal servant is at her best and ready for battle!”
“…Caster. You can trust me, you know?”
“Of course!”
…Of course not. She continued to avoid his questions.
“Alright. I just wanted to say that I trust you fully, so let’s do our best, okay?” He said. He knew not to press the issue. “You don’t have to trust me back, you just need to know that right now, we’re partners.”
Caster brushed him off. “What are you talking about? Of course I know that. You’re overthinking, Master.” She then paused, and her smile shrunk into a frown. “But… If we’re partners, then I need you to focus fully on defeating Berserker. Your heart is in the right place, but you’re easily fooled. She might look like a child, but that girl won’t hesitate to kill you.” She sighed, then gave him a melancholic smile. “It’s pointless to try and understand monsters. Humans are meant to understand other humans, that’s how it should be.”
“…Alright.” He nodded, even though he couldn’t agree. Her words hurt, because he understood the hidden meaning behind them.
‘Don’t try to understand me.’
After all, Caster committed a grave sin. One that she was punished for. It’s a story where she’s painted as a monster.
But… The woman standing before him right now, can’t be one.
It bothered him so much he wanted to speak up, but what good will it be to do that right before their elimination battle? And while she refused to talk to him?
You can’t save people who don’t want to be saved.
That’s a tough thing to remind himself.
But… not being able to even give a bit of comfort?
“Let’s go, Caster.” He forced out a smile. “I’m counting on you.”
They both stepped into the elevator, and came face to face with their opponents.
Right off the bat… Gatou started laughing loudly.
…Shirou was so worried about other things that he forgot that this guy annoys him.
No, he should put his annoyance aside, after all, this man managed to get on Leo’s nerves. Shirou respects him for that.
“So you’ve come, young man! The courage you’ve shown in making it this far in the Grail war is admirable!” He smiled proudly, as if he’s a mentor finally seeing his student flourish. “However! It seems you fear me! You seem hesitant to come any closer to me, or am I mistaken?”
There’s a wall between us, Gatou. Literally. Shirou complained internally. Although the man’s proud gaze made him nervous. Shirou did not recall studying any of his ‘wisdom”.
“You’re too loud.” Shirou sighed.
“That’s to be expected! After all, for the first time in your life, you’ve encountered the one will deliver the voice of go-”
“Hold on a second there. There’s something I want to ask.”
Even Gatou’s servant seemed relieved at Shirou’s interruption.
“…Why do you think that girl is a Goddess?” He needed to ask this, because clearly, she’s not.
“Well said, pig! I keep telling this meathead that I am an idol! AN IDOL! But I can’t get through to him. I would have killed him if not for him being an obedient servant.” Berserker shook her head in disappointment.
No, wait. That’s another issue.
You’re not an idol either.
“When I wracked with despair, she appeared to save me! She’s pure and kind! How can you not see it?” Gatou shook his head and yelled out to the elevator’s ceiling. “I was chosen for this mission, young man! This is my fate! To deliver her voice to everyone!”
“That’s right, Gatou! Everyone will soon hear my beautiful singing! Once the war is over, I’ll make my greatest performance!” Berserker joined in on his incoherent ranting.
…Pure and kind?
Shirou and Caster exchanged a look.
“Plug your ears, Master. If you listen to him any further you’ll be driven crazy.” Caster shook her head slightly. “If you want I’ll cover your ears for you!”
“Who will cover yours though?” Shirou asked.
“I’ll gladly sacrifice my sanity!”
“So you don’t have a wish for yourself, Gatou?” Shirou asked. He hoped he wouldn’t regret it, but Gatou’s loud ranting is better than a quiet elevator ride.
…Kind of.
“Weren’t you listening, young man? Giving my-” He paused, almost as if realizing that the wrong word would get him whipped. “Giving my idol her wish IS my wish! I do not need to obtain something for myself to reach my happiness! Seeing my idol’s wish fulfilled IS my happiness!”
…huh.
“...So not having a wish is fine?”
“Greed is part of human nature, boy! But it’s often mistaken with owning things for yourself! Greed can mean many things.” Gatou explained with a smile. “My greed is in seeing my idol’s success! Another one’s greed is in seeing their enemy’s downfall! There is no limit to how human wishes can look!”
“I think that’s enough talk, old man.” Caster shook her head. “I don’t want any of your crazy ideas influencing him. You see, my master can be so naive at times and he’ll start getting terrible ideas if you start indulging him.”
…Hey, that’s just rude.
“I’m merely helping your master see the truth. Your thoughts are irrelevant to me, after all, you deny my idol’s greatness and stand in my way!”
“That’s enough, Gatou.” Berserker’s expression soured. “You’re giving me a headache. Pigs trying to knock some sense into each other is only entertaining for a while. Greed? Desires? Can pigs whose only job is to serve even have that?”
“You have a rather twisted view of the world, don’t you, Berserker?” Caster’s sweet voice carried a threat.
“My view is the correct one. Women like you only exist to be food, and I don’t like it when my food talks back to me.”
“Berserker, I won’t have you disrespect Caster. It doesn’t matter if you’re royalty, you don’t get to act high and mighty.” Shirou glared. She might look like a child, but he needed to remind himself of her crimes, and hearing her address Caster that way angered him.
“…Oh? The pig is talking back?” Berserker frowned. Her expression turned cold, and Shirou felt it in his bones. After all, she has proven to be a dangerous opponent. “High and mighty? You don’t get it, do you? A useless slave like yourself should bow before me. I, Elizabeth Bathory, am the most beautiful woman in the world, and soon, I’ll be the most loved idol in this world!” Her voice got angrier with each word.
Shirou hesitated to answer. There’s something unsettling about her.
It wasn’t the same madness as his opponent from the 4th round, but it was still madness nonetheless.
“I’m going to be eternally beautiful! Eternally young! Be grateful that you’ll bleed for me, pig.”
“Why are you obsessed with that? Is it so important to stay forever young?” Shirou asked, despite the animosity that the servant had towards him. Even Gatou has become quiet. “If you never grow up, there’s a lot of things you’ll never experience.”
“You annoy me.” The servant stated, without answering his question. If anything, she looked bored, like she had written off this conversation as meaningless.
Shirou wanted to see her point of view, after all, when he was a kid, he was eager to grow up so he could become more like Kiritsugu.
Although, now the idea of growing up has the uncomfortable thought of running out of time.
He’s almost an adult now, and he still hasn’t achieved anything. His magecraft hasn’t improved, and he was far too weak.
…It could be for different reasons, but the more he thought about it, the more uncomfortable he became.
He’s still…
No. He had this conversation before. He shouldn’t look at the past, but focus on what he can still do now.
The future is still far away, and all he has is his current present.
Caster nudged him gently after noticing his discomfort. “Master, I told you. Don’t try to understand her. Right now your top priority should be to survive.”
He shouldn’t try to understand? How can he do that? After all, it’s the only thing he can do in this holy grail war.
The least he can do is try.
“Sorry, Caster. I can’t stop trying.” He stepped forward, knowing that he’d only disappoint her more. “It’s the least I can do.”
Caster’s frustration was communicated clearly through her silence as the elevator finally stopped.
“Well, looks like you’ve run out of time to understand.” Berserker shrugged. “I’ve given you more words than you deserve.”
Shirou figured that much.
He and Caster stepped outside.
It’s time for the elimination battle.
“There it is! The time to show you the strength of my faith, young man! My idol will-” Gatou’s words were cut off by a wave of wind as Berserker stormed towards Caster with her spear in hand.
Caster quickly reacted by blocking the spear with her mirror.
“What a shame. I was planning to finish this in one move.” Berserker struggled, before pulling her spear out of Caster’s mirror.
“No need to be so hasty, little girl. I’m going to take my time teaching you a lesson!” Caster countered with her mirror, and Berserker swiftly blocked every attack, before using her tail to trip her, but Caster jumped away and brought her mirror down to hit Berserker’s head.
“You…!” Rage filled Berserker as she struck back, managing to graze her enemy’s stomach.
Caster pulled back, pouting. “Look what you’ve done. You ruined my cute outfit.” She shook her head in disappointment. “You’re so quick to anger, Berserker. Are you sure this is how an Idol should act? That’s not cute at all.”
Berserker gripped her head, so much that she was digging claws into it.
But her anger suddenly died down. Her empty eyes looked them up for a moment, until a sparkle returned to them. “You’re right, Caster. You’re unpleasant, but you have a point. Let me give you my greatest performance yet!”
“Your greatest performance? You don’t even have an audience, Berserker.” Caster pulled a talisman only for a seal to appear around her hand and cause her to freeze.
“Your attacks are now sealed!” Gatou performed the code cast. “Don’t underestimate our teamwork!”
“That’s right, after all, if Gatou was a terrible manager, I would have killed him by now!” Berserker spread her wings and flew around Caster.
Shirou frowned. Caster’s attacks will be sealed for a while, so all she can do is defend.
“Caster! I’m giving you my support! Don’t let her attacks get to you!” He used the code cast: gain_con, raising Caster’s defense long enough until her seal wears off.
“I appreciate it, Master!”
Berserker flapped her wings with enough strength to create a powerful burst of wind, before attacking Caster with her spear.
Caster attempted to evade instead of blocking, because of Berserker’s strength. However, her movements were hindered by the wind, forcing her to block and be pushed backwards.
Berserker’s feet never touched the ground, and she continued to roam around her prey, causing more wind currents to trap her, then moving down to strike.
But Caster wouldn’t give her the chance to hurt her.
Aside from a few scratches, she managed to block or deflect every attack.
Despite the loss of balance, she still managed to turn this weakness into an advantage, almost dancing along with the winds to protect herself.
“Not bad, Caster! If you weren’t so annoying, I would have hired you as a dancer for my show!” Berserker’s laugh filled the arena.
“Sorry about that, little girl! I don’t dance for anyone!” Caster then paused, and struck a pose- Hey! Where did those special effects appear around her?! Why is there a ray of light?! “But, if I ever get married! My spouse will have a front seat for my skillful dancing~”
Shirou struck his face with his palm. “Caster! Now is not the time!”
“Teehee~” Caster stuck out her tongue at her opponent, before pulling her talisman and creating ice around her, striking one of Berserker’s wings.
The restrictions placed on her by Gatou ended.
“YOU?!” Berserker’s left wing was scratched, causing her to fly around unbalanced. “Ugh! You stupid manager! Do something!”
“Y-yes ma’am!” Gatou quickly cast a simple heal.
“That won’t help you!” Caster continued to create blocks of ice around them, turning the sky into a dangerous field of spikes. “Oh my, you wouldn’t want to get hurt, right? I hear scars on idols could be career ruining.” Caster crossed her arms and shook her head. “The industry is scary, you know?”
Shirou felt a shift in the air. “Caster… I have a bad feeling about this!” He prepared himself in case he’d need to cast something.
Even Caster tensed, feeling immense bloodlust targeted towards her. She created another block of ice to cut through Berserker.
“You’re right, it is dangerous.”
Berserker launched down towards the ice spikes heading her way, and shattered them with her weapon, letting the shards cut through her body.
She endured the damage just so she could reach her.
Caster’s eyes widened, as she hadn't expected her to put herself in harms’ way.
She created a wave of wind to stop her. But Berserker threw her weapon with enough power to pierce through the wind and into her enemy’s shoulder.
“Caster!” Shirou yelled out.
Looking at his servant’s status, he knew that did a lot of damage.
“…!” Caster stumbled backwards, and her face twisted in pain, as she tried to remove the weapon from her body. “This is why I can’t stand Berserkers.” She complained.
“All of your mocking was for nothing.” The spear was painfully pulled out of her body, and returned all the way to its wielder through a simple command.
Shirou quickly healed her, as he was worried that using the code cast while the weapon was in her body wouldn’t be as effective.
Both he and Caster were taken aback by the sight of Berserker’s wounds healing as the blood on her spear was absorbed into her body.
“I’ll spill all the blood I need, even my own, if it means achieving this dream.” Berserker pointed her spear towards them. “The eternal youth and beauty I didn’t get in my life… they’ll be mine! An idol is forever loved! Forever praised! Forever-”
“Unchanging.” Shirou interrupted her. “That sounds like a prison to me.”
“Now, a beautiful eternal life with your beloved sounds splendid for example, so I kind of agree with Berserker here…” Caster hummed. “But this kind of happiness is a human one and you think you’re above that, don’t you?” Caster’s playfulness left her voice. “You want their happiness yet you look down on them.”
“Shur up!” Berserker suddenly clutching her head, fighting a migraine. “Prison…? I’m never… I’m never letting anyone take my freedom or happiness away!”
Shirou felt a surge of power coming from the enemy, so he quickly raised his hand to use a code cast to stun her, and right on cue, Gatou used one as well.
Except Shirou’s hack failed, while Gatou’s code cast inflicted a curse on Caster.
“What?!” That was the first time Shirou’s code cast failed. He looked at Caster, who was suddenly weakened. “Caster, hang in there, I’ll find something to help you!”
Damn it!
His equipped formal wear didn’t have anything that cures curses, maybe he should look through his items… He stacked up enough healing items just in case, so maybe…
“Master! Take a step back!” Caster ignored the pain in her body and stood firmly with more talisman in her hands.
“I’ll help!” He used another code cast to increase her defense.
“It’s time for the last number!” Berserker lifted her spear towards the sky and started rotating it. “I’ll bestow upon you a most glorious death!” She announced and thrust her weapon into the ground then spread her wings.
Blood surged out of the ground, creating a pool from which a castle emerged, with its walls carrying the shape of giant speakers.
Caster attempted to stop it by attacking her, but-
“Nuh uh! You thought I’d let you ruin my idol’s performance?” Gatou used the same code cast from before to seal her attacks.
Caster gritted her teeth and took a defense stance, using the only skill that could save her now.
Mantra: Aphotic Cave.
Her skill was activated in the form of a shield right as Berserker stood on top of her spear, and let out a powerful roar, amplified by the building before her.
The sound was unbearable, and Shirou covered his ears while trying to maintain his ground. The roar was so powerful that even with Caster’s shield, the violent wind that came with it was threatening to send him flying.
He wanted to approach Caster, but he was sure he’d get blown away to pieces.
His servant endured the blast until the end, only to fall on her knees, exhausted and in pain. Her ears twitched, and he could see traces of blood in them.
He desperately looked through his items now that he didn’t need to hold on for dear life.
Fortunately, he found something to remove the curse’s effect, and quickly healed Caster’s injuries.
“Haha, thank you Master!” She tried to answer cheerfully, but her voice came out strained.
The skill she used can strengthen her defense and absorb mana, however, it’s not enough.
She had used up a lot while fighting, and she was clearly exhausted.
“Well done, Caster! You survived my song! How was it?” Berserker looked almost happy, using her hand to flip her hair. An air of superiority surrounded her. “Were you blown away by my performance?”
Caster glared at her, her expression serious.
“WHAAAT?” And then she yelled, throwing all of that seriousness into the water. “I think you blew up my EARDRUMS! I can’t hear HEAAAR you!”
“That’s right! My voice was so great it pierced your eardrums! Everyone! Clap for my performance!”
Gatou was the only one to start clapping.
“Great? It was GREATLY disappointing! I’ve never heard something so terrible in my entire life!”
“So you’re not deaf you annoying ugly fox?!”
“What? You actually believed me?”
Shirou would appreciate it if Caster could stop provoking Berserker. Despite all that talk, she was exhausted.
He nervously looked at her status in the terminal. She was running out of mana as well, while Berserker seemed to be in better shape.
“Caster, you have to-”
“I got this!” Caster yelled back while blocking a new wave of attacks from Bersereker.
Her attacks have become harder to counter, and Caster was being pushed backwards by the sheer force of every hit.
Berserker flew into the air then launched down at full speed towards Caster, who blocked the strike with her mirror, using both hands to keep it in place. The impact of it caused the ground beneath her feet to crumble.
Her legs shook until she was down on one knee while Berserker continued to push her down.
“What is it? Finally running out of things to say?” Berserker laughed. “An idol has to endure any criticism, that’s why I’ll make your death painless.” She pushed her down further. “Consider this my last act of kindness!”
Shirou’s heartbeats quickened. He clutched his chest, feeling helpless while watching his servant about to die.
There’s nothing he can do.
Caster is about to die (again), and there’s no one to help her (again), and he’ll have to watch her fall (again).
She’s holding back, refusing to use her noble phantasm.
…She didn’t trust him.
He must have been such a sore sight for her.
There he was, declaring how he wishes to save others, even his enemies, and she had to listen to him every time.
The woman who wished to be saved, who despaired in her last moments and was treated as a monster, had to endure listening to a make-believe hero who can’t save anyone, and certainly not her.
As long as someone is asking to be saved… I’ll save them.
Those must be words that she wished to hear in that moment.
If anyone had reached out to her, would her ending have changed?
In the grand scheme of it all, Shirou was truly useless.
It’s foolish to think about saving someone whose story ended a long time ago, but… the servants who fought beside him, were not the monsters they and the stories made them out to be.
At least, not to him.
He took a deep breath, knowing that he was about to betray her. He was about to speak her name, knowing she didn’t trust him with it.
Shirou took a step forward and his hand reached towards her as he used up most of the mana he had left to strengthen her.
And then…
“Use your noble phantasm!” He yelled out of desperation, not for his life, but hers. “Tamamo no mae!”
The world was suddenly quiet, maybe for a second, maybe for an eternity, it felt like he had crossed a line he shouldn’t have.
Those memories and her true name are her own to tell, and not for him to find out.
He’ll gladly atone for what he did, but right now, her life mattered more to him, and as her master he wouldn’t allow her to die, or even win while holding back and getting hurt in the process.
Tamamo no mae must fight with her true strength.
Time resumed its course, and his once struggling servant was slowly getting back on her feet.
Berserker looked down at Tamamo, surprised by the sudden push back.
Mana surged through Tamamo as she pushed her enemy away.
Her mirror rose to the sky, rotating with increasing speed and creating a charge of magic within it.
The air around them shifted, while the scenery started to change, and she stood in the middle of a circle of energy, looking like a completely different person, no longer on the verge of dying.
“Revealing your servant’s name to your enemy like that…” Tamamo turned to him with a sad smile. “You’re one reckless master.”
“Sorry about that.” Shirou kept his eyes on her. It’s the least he could do. “Please complain to me about it after this is done.”
Tamamo nodded and turned back to Berserker, who was being pushed away by the energy of her noble phantasm.
“O gods of Izumo!” She revealed multiple talismans in each hand. “Let this be the proof of your purity, as this mirror becomes your sacred treasure…” With a twirl, she spread them around the circle. “Eightfold Blessing of Amaterasu!”
This was Tamamo’s noble phantasm. Shirou had yet to understand the true extent of its power, but he could tell that she had been holding back.
“Or... You know, something like that☆” Tamamo’s tone returned to playfulness as she winked at Berserker. “Now, let me show you what a real performance looks like!”