Chapter Text
ink stop changing the name i’m going to hit you
31/08/202X 08:30
adderall: okay who changed everyone’s names to drugs again
cocaine: whistles cutely
nicotine: i hateddd havinnnnng to rrread thhhat
cocaine: and i hate having to see your face every morning <3
nicotine: wowww okaaay
benzodiazepines: deserved
benzodiazepines: hey y do i have the long name
cocaine: look it up
benzodiazepines: ..
benzodiazepines: fuck u
cocaine: yeah thought so
ibuprofen: ink can you change everyone’s names back pretty please 🥺
cocaine: yeah okay
nicotine: wtttf
cocaine changed 20 names
bâtard artistique: alright there
da howwows within: thank you ink 💙💙💙
bâtard artistique: no problem swap
vanilla icecream: guys theres a new student
diamond hoe: what year?
vanilla icecream: what year do you fuckin think
vanilla icecream: its not like im talkin about some year 8
vanilla icecream: its september there's a ton of year 8s
diamond hoe: okay year 10 point taken
da howwows within: what's their name???
vanilla icecream: uhhh
vanilla icecream: xander apparently
sunshine and rainbows: Poor thing hasn't got a nickname yet, still introducing themself by their real name..
woolly bitch: i'llll do itt
diamond hoe: no the fuck you will not, you're the reason the whole school calls me lust!!!
woolly bitch: you toooold everyyone i wasss fuckinnngn inkk
diamond hoe: NO I DIDN'T??? THAT WAS RASPBERRY??
woolly bitch: oh
woolly bitch: mmb
diamond hoe: WTF????
diamond hoe: I LITERALLY HAVE THE WORST NICKNAME BECAUSE OF YOU AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS ‘MB’?!?!?
nighty’s bitch: scuse u
hey emo boy: boi wtf
da howwows within: horror can’t be bothered to use speech to text rn but he wants you to know he is very offended,,
diamond hoe: i realise my mistake
nighty’s bitch: u better have
diamond hoe: i do and i apologise deeply to you three
diamond hoe: mostly for your god awful nicknames
bâtard artistique: who even gave you them, how did they stick
hey emo boy: nightmare
nighty’s bitch: who tf do u think
da howwows within: horror says it was actually g for him
diamond hoe: g why would you do that
bottom g: i looked at him and the first thing my brain came up with was 'horror movie'.
bottom g: finding out his name was hannibal really did not help.
hey emo boy: fair
bottom g: it wasn't even horror at first, it was horror movie, which is cooler.
bottom g: people just started abbreviating it to horror, and well, it stuck better.
da howwows within: horror says he appreciates you still calling him horror movie!! 💙💙💙
bottom g: no problem buddy.
hentai wet dream: What have I told you three about this group.
hentai wet dream: Jfc Ink.
hentai wet dream changed their name to Nightmare
bâtard artistique: buzzkill
nighty’s bitch: that we”re only s”posed to use it in emergencies?
nighty’s bitch: wait shit-
nighty’s bitch changed their name to killer
killer changed 2 names
Nightmare: We’ll talk about the names later, and yes.
murder: but we were defending our honour from lust! that is an emergency!
Nightmare: If you want to ‘defend your honour’ from Lust then beat his ass in a fight.
killer: i ain’t fighting lust he does pole dancing
diamond hoe: hell yeah you aren’t
Nightmare: Then get Horror to beat his ass.
da howwows within: horror says lust is too short for him to see clearly!!
Nightmare: Tell Horror to use his own phone, he has one for a reason.
da howwows within: speech to text doesn’t like his accent
Nightmare: Then he can either type or deal with it.
horror: sorru boss
Nightmare: Close enough.
Nightmare: Now everyone get off your fucking phones, you’re going to be late to class.
woolly bitch: youu aaaaren’t the booooss of mmme
Nightmare: I can spread worse rumours than you and Ink fucking, now get to class.
~~~
Overall, Xander’s first day could be worse.
The classes so far seemed to mostly just be introductions, and maybe he had gotten lost once or twice but that didn’t matter, it was fine. The teachers were nice, his classmates seemed nice for the most part, everything was alright.
He had noticed something strange though, none of his classmates seemed to go by their names on the register, the one he had noticed first was the person who has introduced themself to him as ‘Vanilla’ apparently being called ‘Sans’ on the register. There were others he’d noticed in passing conversation but it didn’t strike him as too odd, not the same way that Vanilla chuckling and shaking his head when Xander had told him his name did.
So yeah, could definitely be worse.
That was, until some rando came up to him in the corridor during lunch, introduced himself as Ink, and asked for his number. Xander was pretty sure he wasn’t attractive enough to be asked out on the first day, and found out moments after Ink started talking that one, he was being added to a group chat of some sort? and two, when Ink started, he did not stop. He wasn’t really complaining but it was mildly impressive someone could say that many words in such a short period of time.
Ink was nice and sat with him at lunch after chatting briefly with one of his friends, probably explaining why he wasn’t with them that day. After they finished up he took Xander around the school, giving a much more in depth tour including; which stairs were best for certain classes, where the student chosen trans and enby bathroom was (it was a disabled toilet that wasn’t being used), how the sorting system in the library worked, which teachers would tolerate him coming to them at lunch or break and where the nicest trees to read under were.
And now Xander’s day was significantly better and he may be just a little bit star struck, at least it was almost three.
~~~
conspiracy (remember to leave during phone check)
31/08/202X 15:27
mothman added Xander to the group
Xander: wh
Xander: what
mothman: welcome to our chat without the twins because sometimes they can be bitches
death worm: hell yeah they can
death worm: specifically nightmare
loch ness monster: do you know you’ll be dead if you’re dead right killer
death worm: can u try that again horror
loch ness monster: you know you’d be dead if you are does that right killer
death worm: just voice message it
loch ness monster sent a 7 second long voice message
death worm: ah yeah i know
Xander: killer??? horror??
death worm: ink did u not tell him bout nicknames
mothman: i knew i forgot something!
death worm: damnit ink
mothman: i had a lot on my mind okay??
jackalope: ooh can i? pleaaseee?? 🥺🥺
death worm: yeah go 4 it buddy
jackalope: so at our school we have this tradition, i can’t remember how it started but!! basically everyone gets a nickname and has to go by that nickname! it’s very very hard to find anyone in the school who goes by their real name!
death worm: calling someone their real name is kinda like the ultimate show of either respect or disrespect, depends on the person and situation
jackalope: yep!! 👍👍
Xander: oh, and you’re called killer..?
death worm: killer nickname i know
jersey devil: badum ching
Xander: right so who are all of you?
death worm: well i’m killer and jersey devil is murder, we’re both a year above you so you might not see us that much, loch ness monster is horror, he’s in lower sixth so defintitely won’t see him
jackalope: i’m swap and mothman’s ink! we’re also year eleven so you won’t see us outside break and lunch really
Xander: ah, is there no-one in year ten..?
death worm: not in this group
death worm: now someone name him
jersey devil: on it
jersey devil changed Xander’s name to chupacabra
death worm: oooh nice
chupacabra: what is this
mothman: you’ll figure it out eventually
jackalope: ink go do the maths homework i know you haven’t done it
mothman: damnit