Chapter Text
Anya was back again. For the third time in two weeks, her ex-girlfriend was sitting in her office at the rear of the book shop. It was becoming both tedious and exceedingly painful to repeat this break-up over and over. That was partially Dorcas’s fault, to be fair. She was the one who slipped up and called them ‘girlfriends’ to begin with, which severely muddled their situationship. This was simply the consequence of allowing herself to get too comfortable.
“So, when do you leave?” Dorcas asked, lifting her mug to her lips. She found holding something helped during difficult conversations. It grounded her and kept her from flailing her hands too much.
Anya sighed heavily and nodded. “End of next week.”
Her pixie cut was even shorter now, with a fringe that swept carelessly across her brow. The cut was meant to look ‘low maintenance’, but Dorcas knew she spent an hour every morning fussing with it to get the layers to fluff just right. Anya was a perfectionist at heart and her appearance reflected it. She always looked so effortlessly put together. As if she just happened to throw on a jacket with a collar that coordinated with her shoes.
After an awkward silence, the brunette glanced up through her lashes and chewed her bottom lip. It was a sure sign that the next thing Anya said would be foolish. Internally, Dorcas braced herself for it. Anya knew exactly how to push her buttons and seemed to take pleasure in riling Dorcas up. Under different circumstances, her feisty nature was one of Dorcas’s favourite features. Less so now that she was trying to move on.
Leaning forward, Anya brushed her fingers over the back of Dorcas’s hand. “I already miss you, Cas. You know that, right?”
Inhaling deeply through her nose, Dorcas released the breath in a long, drawn out sigh. She sort of expected that line, to be honest. As she studied Anya’s big brown eyes, Dorcas reminded herself that this wasn’t supposed to be serious. It was a convenient and enjoyable little tryst and nothing more. Anya just didn’t seem on board with that description any more.
Granted, Dorcas couldn’t blame her for confusing their situationship for something real. She had to remind herself consistently that this was temporary. It didn’t help that Anya was impossible to dislike, even when she was infuriatingly inconsistent. One minute she dramatically bemoaned Dorcas’s work schedule and claimed they needed more time together. In the next, she broke things off. The whiplash with this girl was as intense as the sex.
Dorcas decided it would be best to remain calm and keep things cordial. Anya’s flair for the dramatic could escalate this quickly if not tempered with patience. She knew better than to stir her up. One too many rows taught her that the make-up sex afterward wasn’t worth the fight. Even though the make-up sex was incredible. Stop it.
“I know,” Dorcas agreed quietly, setting her mug on the table.
“Don’t you miss me too?” Anya asked, worry knitting her brow. “This meant something, Cas. Please don’t act like it didn’t.”
Dorcas shook her head slowly and tried to soften her tone. “I’m not going to pretend this was some sort of earth-shattering love story, Anya. We agreed to keep it casual from the beginning. You know my work has to come first. I won’t abandon the shop on a childish whim.”
The moment the words left her lips, Dorcas wished she could yank them back.
“Childish whim?” Anya scoffed, leaning back against her seat. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Dorcas. Fury flashed in her eyes as her jaw tightened with emotion. “I’d hardly call wanting my girlfriend to meet my bloody parents a ‘childish whim’.”
“You know as well as I do that isn’t what this is about,” Dorcas chastised lightly. “I can’t close the shop for a few weeks to chase your family around Spain. Not only is the trip above my means financially, it’s irresponsible. The shop wouldn’t recover from such a long absence.”
“Oh, I’m irresponsible now? Any other grievances you’d like to air?” she snapped.
Internally, Dorcas grimaced at herself. So much for patience.
“Anya, I didn’t mean-”
Anya’s eyes glassed over as she stared over Dorcas’s shoulder. “Fine. If that’s what you want, then I guess this really is over. Doesn’t matter what I want, does it?”
Dorcas released an exasperated breath as she battled back the urge to defend herself. She needed to project her mother’s gentleness and bury her own waspish tendencies. “Why are you making this harder than it has to be? We want different things. There's nothing wrong with that, honey. Just because we couldn’t make this work doesn’t mean we can’t still be friends.”
Gentleness…attempted?
“Did we really try to make this work? Both of us, I mean,” Anya challenged, narrowing her eyes.
In a last ditch effort to lower the temperature of this conversation, Dorcas attempted to soothe her with touch instead. She reached out and stroked her fingertips across Anya’s arm. The tension in her muscles eased on contact. Perhaps de-escalation wasn’t a lost cause yet.
“I still care about you, honey,” Dorcas assured her.
The ire whooshed out of her so suddenly that it seemed to catch Anya herself by surprise. She deflated, her shoulders dropping away from her ears as her hands grabbed tight to Dorcas’s fingers. Anya’s confidence tumbled to the floor as worry filled her eyes again. “You mean that? You still care about me, Cas?”
“Of course I do,” Dorcas replied. She released her mug and cupped her other hand around Anya’s. “You were right to break things off though, honey. Now that we’ve stepped back a bit, I realise that I’m not what you need. Travelling the world suits you perfectly and I’d just hold you back. It’s not my path.”
“How do you know if you don’t try?”
Dorcas smiled sadly. “I’ve already found my peace right here. There’s no reason to search for it anywhere else.”
A deep frown settled onto Anya’s mouth as she searched Dorcas’s face desperately. She still didn’t look convinced, but Dorcas didn’t know what else to say. This relationship was already over in her mind and rehashing the past wasn’t going to change that. Anya’s insistence on dissecting their break-up every few days was ripping open her partially healed wound a little more each time.
“I hate goodbyes,” Anya huffed finally, shaking her head. “Can we just skip that bit? I will be back. I will see you again. It’s not like I’m leaving forever, just for the summer.”
Dorcas nodded in agreement. “Alright. No goodbyes, but how about ‘good luck’?”
Anya pressed her lips together, dropping her gaze to their combined hands. After a long silence, she nodded. “Yeah. Good luck.”
When Anya finally left, Dorcas dropped her forehead against her folded arms and let out the shaky breath she’d been holding back. This time was so much harder than the last. She’d let it go too far again, allowing her foolish heart to cling to the idea of Anya, rather than accept the reality of her. Realistically, Anya would never stay in this little town. She’d never be happy here. As soon as she finished uni, she’d be globe-trotting like the rest of her posh family.
The bell over the door jingled as a low woof announced the arrival of her favourite, and only, employee. Dorcas steadied herself, grateful for a friendly face to distract her. She shook her head clear and blinked away the moisture lingering in her eyes. No time for mourning now, she had work to do. Pulling herself together, she stood up and walked out into the shop.
“Good morning, honey!” she greeted Regulus warmly. Dropping into a low crouch in front of his puppy, she cupped her hands around Snuffles’s black muzzle. “How are we today? Oh, there’s that smile! Clever chap.”
She pulled out a biscuit from the pocket of her overalls and offered it to him. Snatching it up greedily, Snuffles downed the treat with minimal chewing. He then licked her hand thoroughly before sniffing around her pockets for more. Dorcas adored the pair of them, the gentle beast and his anxious companion. They would be brilliant book characters, she mused to herself.
“Did I see Anya leave just now?” Regulus asked. His brow creased as those lovely grey eyes searched her face with concern. “Are you alright?”
Dorcas nodded, slowly rising to her feet. She lifted a hand to smooth his forehead. “No need to wrinkle your forehead over it, I’m fine. Just tying up loose ends.”
Watching her intently, Regulus sighed. “She’s still waffling about the break-up then? I wish I could help.”
“Bringing me Snuffles is help enough,” she insisted, hand stroking the dog’s head idly. “He’s a balm for the soul, honey. You know that feeling well, yeah?”
Regulus smiled softly at the puppy. “I do. He’s quite experienced in that area as it happens.”
Chuckling, Dorcas squeezed his shoulder. “I bet.” She glanced past him and tipped her head to the side. “No rugby boy today?”
“James is helping Mrs. Longbottom with her garden. He was up with the sun, per usual,” Regulus replied, waving a hand dismissively. “Honestly, I’m relieved she’s keeping him busy. He’s driving me up the wall bouncing around the flat and rearranging the furniture.”
“Containing that level of energy must be exhausting,” she agreed, rolling her eyes. Dorcas nodded at the bell over the front door. “As it is, he’s upset the bell twice already this week. Is it really so difficult to push open a door gently? At this rate, I’ll have to find a better solution than that bit of wire holding it on.”
Regulus tipped his head back and examined the bell. “Mm-hmm. Well if he breaks it, I’ll insist he replace it. He might be a menace at times, but he’s not usually destructive.”
Tugging his lead free from Regulus, Snuffles made his way over to the bed behind the counter. He sniffed at it, then turned a few times to fluff the pillow before he settled in with a huff. Dorcas chuckled, forever amused by how quiet and calm the enormous dog was. Just in the last month, he’d nearly doubled in size. Walking next to Regulus, his head already reached the lanky boy’s hip.
“Well, he’s settled in, I suppose that means it’s time to open,” Dorcas said, pointing at Regulus. “Get yourself a cuppa after you clock in.” She noted the amusement flickering across his face and narrowed her eyes. “In that order.”
“Alright, alright,” he acquiesced, holding his hands up. Moving quickly, he disappeared down the centre aisle toward the office.
Dorcas grinned as she watched him leave. Regulus was a good fit here, even if he did abuse his breaks. That wasn’t usually his fault though. His boyfriend was extremely distracting. When James was around, Regulus accomplished far less around the shop, but was also in a far better mood. Dorcas was willing to take that trade-off. Especially since most days were rather slow anyway.
She flipped over the ‘Closed’ sign to ‘Open’ and stepped back behind the pastry case. Washing her hands thoroughly, she reviewed the mental list she’d started earlier. Back before Anya showed up and tossed her meticulously planned day into a tailspin. There was a time Dorcas enjoyed her impulsive interruptions. Looked forward to them even. She pulled on a pair of plastic gloves and tapped her fingers against the prep counter.
“Leave it,” she whispered to herself, refocusing on collecting ingredients for the next batch of cupcakes. It did no good to dwell on the past, she knew that. As her mum always said, ‘Pain reminds us that we’re human. Healing reminds us of our humanity’. It was time to heal.
Clearing her throat, Dorcas tossed the butter and sugar into the stand mixer. While it hummed happily, she beat the eggs in one bowl, then sifted the flour and combined her dry ingredients into another bowl. Slowly, she added each bowl to the mixture. Once it was well blended, she shifted to the counter and filled each of the pans with small decorative wrappers.
In the background, she heard the oven timer ding. Quickly slipping into the kitchen, she pulled out the finished cakes and set them on the cooling wrack. Dorcas returned to her current batch, filling each of the wrappers two-thirds full.
“Taking more than you need is asking for trouble,” she whispered to herself, grinning at her mother’s voice in her head. Excellent advice for both cupcakes and relationships, really.
Just as she tucked the next batch into the oven, she overheard Regulus muttering to himself as he made his way back up to the counter. She eyed him narrowly as she peered around the corner, relaxing when she spotted the cup in his hand. The tea was necessary, even in the summer. The bloke’s hands were always cold and he was particularly snarky without a hot beverage nearby. James pointed out this detail to her in his first week and she’d kept it in mind ever since.
Dorcas reached for the pan of cakes from earlier to verify they were cool enough to ice. She was trying to decide between purple or green frosting when Snuffles let out a low woof. The bell jingled violently as the door flew open. An annoyed snort escaped Regulus as a solid pair of boots landed inside the shop. When she looked up, Dorcas blinked rapidly in surprise. She’d expected Sirius or James, but instead found a short blonde girl with an arrogant smirk on her face.
“Was that really necessary?” Regulus huffed, nodding toward the door.
The blonde flashed a mischievous grin, then bounded over to the counter. “Announcing my presence is indeed necessary, baby Black. Now, how’s my second favourite Black brother?”
She propped her hip against the counter and crossed her arms over her middle. Looking more at ease in the book shop than Dorcas ever felt herself, the girl leaned forward to peer behind the counter. Her grin widened when she spotted the puppy asleep in his bed.
“You do realise that’s not a compliment when there are only two of us, right?” Regulus replied with a scoff. “Rather rude, really.”
“Never claimed to be sweet, kid.” Her tone was teasing, but the pointed expression she aimed at him made it clear that she meant it.
Regulus shook his head and rolled his eyes. “What do you want Marlene?”
That name was familiar, Dorcas was sure of it. She had the same feeling when she’d spotted the girl, but couldn’t place her. Probably another student from the university. They flooded the town in the summer, bored and looking for trouble. When Dorcas began her own term there, she’d made a concerted effort to avoid such nonsense.
“I want to see the baby!” she exclaimed, gesturing behind the counter. Her exuberance was barely contained behind that cropped Joan Jett tee and black jean skirt.
Another punk wanna-be with no chill, just like Sirius.
It hit Dorcas then. That’s why she recognised the girl and her name. Marlene was friends with Sirius. He’d introduced them a while back with all of the excitement of a proud parent. Dorcas had the impression that he expected her to fawn all over the blonde, so she did exactly the opposite. It was incredibly satisfying to watch his jaw drop when she offered Marlene a frosty, but cordial greeting. At the time, she’d dismissed the girl outright as another spoiled posh kid. Based on her current behaviour, Dorcas was convinced her first impression was correct.
“He’s just so bloody sweet!” Marlene enthused, reaching out with grabby hands at the pup.
Snuffles sniffed in her direction curiously, then sneezed and dropped his head back on his paws. Well, that settled it. If Snuffles wasn’t impressed, then Dorcas refused to feel guilty for brushing her off. The dog had an uncanny ability to sort out the good eggs from the bad ones.
“I think he’s a bit tired today,” Regulus replied, glancing between the two.
Marlene dropped her hands to the counter and leaned in close to Regulus. “You can’t just-”
The bell above the door rang out again, this time admitting a pair of girls with soft smiles and hands entwined. Dorcas recognised Pandora on sight and lifted a hand to wave to her. Pandora’s face lit up as she waved back eagerly. Tugging the red-head with her, Pandora stepped up to the pastry case.
“Hi Dorcas! This is Lily, my girlfriend,” Pandora said, shimmying excitedly.
Dorcas nodded at Lily in welcome. “Nice to meet you, honey. I’d offer you a hug, but my hands are a bit…” She held up the frosting bag and her bright green-stained hands.
“Oh no, don’t mind me,” Lily assured her with a sweet smile. “I don’t want to interrupt.”
Snuffles rolled out of his bed at the sound of their voices. Without an ounce of grace, he burst out from behind the counter. He rushed over to the girls and buried his face between them while his back legs danced wildly. A soft whine escaped the pup as he nudged Lily hard in the hip.
Lily gasped in delight, dropping to her knees and embracing the puppy. Peppering his face with kisses, she crooned softly to him. Pandora giggled as she reached down to stroke the dog’s back. An adoring look slipped across her face as she watched Lily intently. Dorcas released an amused breath, then turned back to her decorating. As expected, Snuffles knew a good one when he saw one.
“Hello darling!” Lily gushed, ruffling up his fur. “I’ve missed you so much!”
Pandora nodded in confirmation to the dog, her expression turning quite solemn. “She really has,” she advised him. Snuffles’s tongue lolled out of his mouth as he soaked up Lily’s attention.
“I thought he was tired?” Marlene huffed, narrowing her gaze at Regulus.
Dorcas rolled her eyes at the girl’s tone. She finally understood Regulus’s annoyed expression when she’d walked in. It was clear that Marlene was used to getting whatever she wanted. Another entitled posh girl with a god complex. Just what the world needed.
Regulus let out a deep sigh and pressed his fingers to his temples. “He’s a dog, Marlene. I can’t control who he likes.”
“Are you saying he doesn’t like me?” she gasped, hand thudding to her chest dramatically. “How very dare you!”
Spinning on her heel, she strutted over to the girls and joined Lily on the floor. As she scratched her nails up and down the dog’s back, she whispered to Snuffles. “Don’t listen to him, sweet boy. I know you love me.”
Lily laughed and the soft, breathy sound drew Snuffles's attention. “Of course he does, Marls. He’s just spoiled rotten by those boys.” As she tossed the light-hearted accusation back at Regulus, she winked. He rolled his eyes in response.
“Don’t let James hear that,” Pandora warned with a giggle. “He takes Snuffles’s training very seriously.”
She straightened her spine and wiped the grin from her face. With a suddenly stern expression, she lifted her chin in the air. Holding out her hand, she snapped her fingers. “Snuffles sit.” The dog promptly sat.
Snap. “Snuffles, down.” The dog laid down.
Snap. “Snuffles, speak.” The dog woofed quietly.
“Oh! Such a good boy!” Marlene gushed, ruffling up his fur. “That deserves a treat!”
She held her hand out to Lily impatiently. “I know you’re hiding them and so does he.”
The coy grin that slid across Lily’s lips nearly made Dorcas laugh out loud. Lily shrugged and pulled out a dog biscuit from her pocket. Pointing at Lily with a narrow-eyed glare, Marlene took the biscuit from her hand with more force than was necessary. Her face softened as she offered it to Snuffles, who happily devoured it.
Glancing back at Regulus, Marlene huffed. “He’s a bit tired,” she mocked, shaking her head in disbelief.
Regulus let out an exasperated sound, throwing out his hands as he spun away from the counter. Headed toward the back room, he called to Dorcas. “I’m taking my first break before I strangle our customers.”
“Alright, honey,” she called back, waving him off with her free hand.
Returning to her decorating, Dorcas quickly spun the turntable as she topped each of the cupcakes in turn. Once the cupcake was iced, she tossed a handful of sprinkles on top and moved on to the next one. Muscle memory kicked in and she iced two dozen cupcakes in a matter of minutes. Satisfied with her work, she tucked the icing bag away and added the cakes to the pastry case. Dorcas examined the case and mentally calculated how many more she needed for the day. Two dozen more should do it.
The three girls continued their conversation while smothering Snuffles with affection. Dorcas largely ignored them as she focused on cleaning up the prep area. A loud ding advised her the next batch was done. Pulling out the oven-fresh cakes, Dorcas carried the pans to her prep area. With a well-practised hand, Dorcas decorated the next two dozen and slid them into the pastry case. Confident there were enough to get through until lunch, she pulled off her gloves and tossed them in the bin.