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Language:
English
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Published:
2022-11-30
Updated:
2024-02-25
Words:
38,422
Chapters:
25/?
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1,228
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4,406
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Why Should I Love Myself? No One Else Does.

Summary:

Midoriya Izuku has found himself deeply woven into the world of villainy with no hope of escape due to the influence of his father. His friendships with the people around him are tumultuous at best and abusive at worst. Denial and compartmentalization are the only things keeping him sane.

When Midoriya is finally arrested, he encounters hope in the form of a small white animal. The principal of UA wants to offer him a position in a trial rehabilitation program. Although Midoriya has no interest in being rehabilitated, he's sure the villains he'd been associated with will retaliate if they find out he's at UA. He'd rather die than just be locked up in Tartarus.

What he doesn't expect is for the mysteries of his past to be unraveled while he's at UA. Will the staff and students there uncover the truth behind his crimes and villainous actions? Can they change their opinion of him once they learn that he's been a victim of the same villains they believed him to be on the side of? Can Midoriya learn to love himself?

Notes:

Author’s Links & Discord Server

୨୧ This note has been edited to reflect my new update schedule as of June 22, 2025!

Hello, Readers!

I get asked rather frequently about when I’ll update or if some of my works have been abandoned. While I am implementing an actual update schedule now (every Thursday) this is for all of my fics, not just one. /Which/ title updates may vary. So I may add a chapter to one story one week and then a chapter to three different stories the next. I work with whatever ideas my “brain wolves” bring me. This random writing helps me avoid writer’s block and burnout.

A few of my fics need to be rewritten to match my current writing style, as it’s changed over the years. If I ever choose to abandon a fic, it will be marked as complete and I’ll note that it’s abandoned in the title and/or summary. Otherwise, I have every intention to return to the fic, but haven’t yet due to either editing needs, writer’s block, or being hyper fixated on other fics.

If you’d ever like to help the brain wolves, suggestions on transition/next scenes are always welcome. I tend to get stuck on how to transition from Scene A to Scene B. Ultimately, I’m a bit of a scattered writer and I appreciate everyone who’s been patient with me.

[This note will be placed on the first and latest chapter of all my incomplete works.]

Happy reading! ~ Malakai ୨୧

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Making a Deal

Notes:

TW: Suicidal thoughts, self-hatred (Izuku)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“Midoriya Izuku.”

 

A file fell open on the metal table, a significant stack of papers sliding out into view. 

 

“Arrested on 5 charges of murder, 7 charges of kidnapping, and 15 charges of aggravated assault, to our knowledge . You are also being charged with aggravated abuse of several minors, aiding a known villain organization, breaking and entering, robbery, stalking, blackmail, arson, criminal hacking, resisting arrest, and numerous minor assaults. You’re refusing an attorney?”

 

The first words he’d spoken in days slipped out with a slight rasp. “No one will represent me.”

 

“That is where you are wrong, Midoriya. I would be happy to. In fact, I’d like to make a deal.”

 

“Haven’t you heard? I’m not much use to anyone.”

 

“Hear me out.” The villain, no, the child across from him gestured for him to continue. Despite the smirk on his face, his eyes conveyed hopelessness. A mask. Oh, how he could relate. “I want to start a villain reformation program at my school for those under a certain age. Many youths are forced into villainy due to circumstances beyond their control. I want to help them. And right now, I want to help you. You would be the first participant in a trial program.”

 

“I’d be a waste of your time.”

 

“That’s up to me, isn’t it?” He countered with a smile. “I think you would be an excellent first candidate. You only very recently turned 16. You’ve been in foster care since your mother’s death nearly 6 years ago, although much of that time is undocumented. There are police records of you being found on the streets more than once and then being returned to an orphanage. No one ever followed up on that. All because you were quirkless.”

 

The child stiffened, smirk dropping. Hopelessness gave way to anger. Was it because he knew of the boy’s history or was it the mention of his quirk status? Either way… “Quirk discrimination is a social pandemic that is responsible for creating many of the world’s villains. Even in cases where victims don’t turn to villainy, they are subject to prolonged suffering. It’s frankly understandable when a lack of resources or job opportunities drives such people to villainy.”

 

“You can’t discriminate against what someone doesn’t have.”

 

“It is a shame that laws disregard the quirkless the way they do. Quirkless people under the age of 50 make up one of the most at-risk groups in Japan today. The way you were treated was not right. Society failed you, but I am asking you to allow me the chance to create improvements.”

 

“Do you really think you can fix anything?” 

 

“I managed to get myself the same rights as humans, did I not?”

 

“...I guess.”

 

“I believe that there is no harm in trying. There is, however, harm in not trying.”

 

“So what would this deal consist of?”

 

Nezu grinned at the child across the table. “I’m so glad you asked.”

 


 

The door to his cell shut behind him. Bare walls greeted him, offering him sanctuary from the harsh words and sneers of the guards that monitored him. He let himself reflect. 

 

“First, I will need to appeal to a judge on your behalf. I am quite certain I can convince them to allow a trial version of my rehabilitation program. However, it is not guaranteed.”

 

It wasn’t guaranteed because he didn’t deserve it. Not after everything he did. 

 

“You will live on UA campus. We’re in the process of installing dorms, actually, so you will be staying in those. As security measures, mostly for the police’s sake, you will be required to wear a tracker anklet. I figure that would be more discreet than a bracelet. It will prevent you from leaving the campus without an escort. If you try, it will administer a sedative. This sedative can also be manually triggered by select staff should you act out in any way that endangers others.”

 

Honestly, he was surprised that they didn’t go with electric shocks to control him. He certainly deserved the pain. No one had ever held back in harming him before. Why start now?

 

“A primary guardian will also be assigned to you. Since you will be shadowing class 1-A, your guardian will be Eraserhead. When you first come to UA, you will stay with him in the staff dorms. Once you and the students have adjusted, you will receive a room in their dorm. This is to promote proper socialization. Even after you move, Eraserhead will remain your guardian.”

 

Hanging around the very people he terrorized for months sounded like a horrible idea. There was no way they would be okay with him joining their class or living in their dorms. 

 

This was a very, very bad idea. 

 

“Therapy sessions will be mandatory. Partly to help you process and cope with the traumatic circumstances that led you to villainy and partly to help you readjust to society. Some behaviors you may have picked up in the negative environment you were in will need to be unlearned.”

 

Like murder. Murder is bad. Got it. Sounds simple enough. 

 

“Obviously, you will not be allowed to have weapons. While you will be allowed to participate in heroics training with the other students, you will receive only non-lethal or dummy weapons to use in sparring. For example, if you request a knife, you’ll receive a rubber one.”  

 

He could still whack someone pretty hard with a rubber knife. Not that he would…

 

“Because you are shadowing a heroics course, you will be allowed the same opportunities to become a hero as the other students. It is not required since you are not an official heroics student. If you wish to return to a civilian life after graduation, that is your prerogative. However, the skills you’ve shown as a villain can be just as useful as a hero. I urge you to consider.”

 

A quirkless hero… It would never be allowed. Plus, who would feel safe with him showing up in an emergency? He’s widely known as a villain. They made sure of that. That’s how they cut off any chance of help from heroes or police. Even if his quirklessness alone would have disqualified him from aid. They couldn’t risk him finding that one person who would help anyway. 

 

“I will be required to report any delinquent behavior to the police. Certain actions will result in your immediate dismissal from the program. Such as hurting anyone outside of training, or causing excessive harm during training. We can go over that in more detail if you accept. If you are dismissed from the program, you will default to your original sentencing. It hasn’t been passed yet, but I can tell you that you are likely looking at a life sentence in Tartarus.”

 

Why? Why? Why should he go to prison? Why, when he can just be dead? 

 

It would be so much easier to get rid of him permanently. Then he can’t waste space.

 

“The ultimate goal of this program is to help you unlearn behaviors that you were forced to pick up for your survival and to help you overcome barriers that discrimination created for you in the first place. If you chose to resume a civilian life in the end, I will do everything in my power to get you a job, housing, and any other resources you may need. I have plenty of connections that can guarantee you a sustainable career. If necessary, I can even employ you myself.”

 

Why do this for him? He doesn’t deserve it. He’s quirkless. He’s a murderer. 

 

He’d be better off dead. So why? Why is this being offered to him? 

 

Why is he only being offered help now, after he’s been so irreversibly tainted?

 

“I want to help you succeed, Izuku-kun. I just need you to let me. So what do you say?”

 

Why? Why? Whywhywhywhywhywhy? 

 

“Will you accept my deal? My help?”

 

If they find him with the enemy, they’ll kill him. So why not?

 

“Okay. I accept.”

 

“Wonderful. I will schedule a meeting with your judge immediately. If they agree, you should only be here for a few more days before we can move you to UA.”

 

And so he stared at the blank walls of his cell, waiting for the verdict. Trying to distract himself from the inevitable disaster that would be coming if the judge grants permission for Nezu’s crazy plan. It’s been over a year since he last had classmates to deal with. Could he still do it?

 

Before all this, his classmates just hated him because he was quirkless. 

 

Now, his classmates would hate him for that and so much more. For all the times he hurt them. For the time he stabbed the one that got in the Nomu’s way. For kidnapping those two from the summer camp UA held. For playing a role in the downfall of the great Symbol of Peace. 

 

Their hatred would be justified, and he would accept it. He deserved it, afterall. 

Notes:

Yes, it's vague!
What exactly happened will be revealed through flashbacks and retellings.
(Mostly by Izuku, but a few other people as well.)

How do you think class 1-A will react?
Who do you think would oppose him being there the most?