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Sanemi first hears the news from Shinobu, three months after the fact.
It’s at their annual pillar meeting, they have already concluded it and are separating, going their own ways. She pulls him off to the side, with a smile on her face, the familiar one that doesn’t ever seem to reach her eyes.
She tells him that her Tsuguko, Kanao, had just passed the Final Selection. At first he thinks she is bragging, but thinks it’s odd for her to single him out. He doesn’t have a Tsuguko, and he doesn’t plan on ever getting one.
It shocks him when she says that Kanao had met a boy, whose facial features looked a lot like Sanemi, with the same family name.
‘Apparently, he was almost as furious as you normally are Shinazugawa-san. The resemblance was rather striking. I just thought you should be aware.’
She leaves him there, standing off to the side of the Master's main house, feeling as if the world has fallen and crushed him. The test was three months ago. According to Shinobu, his little brother had passed, but during the ceremony afterwards another Demon Slayer had broken his arm.
The crow that he has watching Genya has not reported anything to him in weeks, and has not said anything about his brother taking the test on the mountain or his injury. At once Sanemi is wondering what else has transpired without his knowledge.
‘The little boy has healed his arm already, merely a week afterwards!’ The crow tells him three days later when he asks, ‘Do you not want the children to participate in the Final Selection?’
It strikes him then, he had only given the crow instructions to watch his brother, but as far as the bird knew he was a normal Demon Slayer Corps child. It would not seem odd or out of place for his brother to be training with a katana or to be fighting demons.
How long has this been going on without his knowledge? Sanemi might be sick.
A week to heal an arm, though, that doesn’t seem right. Perhaps Shinobu’s Tsuguko was wrong and that it wasn’t so severe. Regardless, Sanemi is left with a choice now. To either go and stop his brother from following his footsteps into this dangerous path, or to leave things be as if he never received this information.
He decides to stop him, his sweet little brother should not be involved with this world.
It’s unfortunate, then, that he himself is stopped by his own crow. He has a mission, intel about an upper moon in a far-off town district, and he must leave at once.
-
When he returns home two months later, having gone down a seemingly endless rabbit hole, there is still no concrete news of Muzan or an uppermoon. The world has a hundred demons less roaming its surface, but it has more of Sanemi’s ire.
The crow comes and updates him on Genya, simultaneously rocking his reality with it.
Genya is currently up the mountain, the same one that Himejima Gyoumei resides. According to the crow, the Rock Pillar has been training his little brother at his home, and under the waterfalls nearby, for the last two months that Sanemi has been gone.
Training Genya to be his Tsuguko.
The news shocks him, but it also brings him a sense of profound confusion. As far as he was aware Himejima had no desire to train a Tsuguko, and for him to have made that decision so quickly made Sanemi wonder if something else was going on.
It also put a screeching halt on Sanemi’s plans to tear Genya away from this Demon Slaying business altogether. If Genya was truly Himejima’s Tsuguko now, then Sanemi could not interfere in that way without risking a break in their… allyship? Friendship?
They certainly were not enemies, but Sanemi did not do ‘friends’ in the same way as the other Pillars. Half of the other Pillars were connected in ways that he, Uzui and Giyuu were not. If Sanemi would create a scene about this with Himejima, then it might cause a bit of an uproar in a way that he wasn’t sure that he wanted to deal with.
But this was Genya. His little brother .
Before he can change his mind, or rather lose his temper, he sends the crow back up the mountain to deliver a message to Himejima. The crow is instructed to repeat a short request for the Rock Pillar to join him for a meal and to ‘discuss the details of his mission that he has just returned from.’
There aren’t any details to discuss, not really, but Sanemi is the strongest Pillar in skill, second only to Himejima himself and if that is something he can use to get him to come, well, Sanemi is allowed to tell a white lie every now and then.
-
The crow is back before the sun sets, tired from flying and begging for a meal.
The crow opens his beak:
‘I would be honored to join you for the meal. Tomorrow afternoon. There is something I would like to discuss as well.’
And promptly flies away toward the coop Sanemi has set in his side yard.
-
Sanemi sleeps poorly.
It is always difficult to sleep when he returns from a long term mission. Spending weeks awake during the night, and sleeping fitfully in the daytime.
This is not the only reason that he wakes multiple times during the night. Dreams that are more like nightmares, plague him. Mostly of his brother, and the night where he lost his mother and the rest of his siblings. He has not had this dream in a long time, this memory.
When the sun finally creeps up over the horizon Sanemi is already out in his yard, training the frustration away. The aches and pains of his two month mission away only cause him more annoyance, and the cuts in his skin have already begun to scar. If Shinobu were here, if Sanemi were to allow her to give him medical advice, she would tell him to rest.
‘At least for one day. You will run yourself into the ground, and then what good would you be?’
He cannot rest. He doesn’t have the time, every day is too short already. Muzan must be slain in his lifetime, or Sanemi will spend the rest of his afterlife in endless limbo until the job is done. If Sanemi is to die before Muzan, it will be because he is too weak, he will have not trained hard enough. If he is to die first, it will be a disgrace, and he will not let it happen.
Sanemi will end Muzan himself.
For the sake of his mother, and his siblings.
For Genya.
The sun is directly above him in the sky, sweltering heat and shining bright, by the time he decides to take a break. He bathes and eats, deciding to begin readying his home for Himejima’s arrival.
It has been a while since he has had visitors. While his home is not messy - having spent much of his childhood helping his mother keep their home clean for his siblings and now it is a habit - it is not homely in the way many others are. The furnishings and personal items are sparse, as he does not spend much time here being always away on missions.
He gets down the nicest tea set he has, a gift from a shopkeeper who’s daughter he had saved from a demon last year. While Sanemi is not the best tea maker, the tea he pours from this set always tastes at least decent.
Himejima arrives as he is setting their table, food on plates and tea waiting to be poured. He towers over Sanemi, and it is always just a little bit startling every time. The man is practically a giant, tall and strong, with arms that look like they could move the mountains that he resides in.
“Shinazugawa.”
“Himejima.”
It is with a mutual respect for each other, and the difficult mission of ending all demons, that brings them together time and again. While they mainly meet—along with the other pillars— at the Master’s home to discuss news of the upper and lower moons, as well as Muzan himself. This time they are meeting privately, and it is different.
“Shall we eat first, and have our discussion after?” Himejima suggests.
Sanemi doesn’t care, suddenly unsure of how he is going to approach the topic of Genya now that he has faced himself with how odd it is to have invited Himejima here to discuss a mission that ended up leading him nowhere, “Yeah, sure, uh do you want some tea?”
He pours them tea, and Himejima sits with him at his low table. They start to eat the meal that Sanemi has prepared, chopsticks in hand and pleasant polite discussion back and forth across the table. It occurs to him that this is the first time he has had dinner with someone, small and private, inside his own home.
It is an almost embarrassing realization. The meal is more of a thrown together sort, not anything exceptionally planned out, as he didn’t give himself much time to prepare. The room in which they are eating is rather barren, probably an eyesore to an outsider and while Himejima cannot see in the traditional way he has an incredibly unique ability to sense his surroundings by touch, including the subtle vibrations in the air. The tea is alright at best, and Sanemi knows that he is not the most conventional or warm host.
Regardless, Himejima does not show any signs of discomfort. In fact he seems rather pleased.
“Shinazugawa? Shall we discuss your mission?”
They discuss it. All the twists and turns and the near hundreds of dead ends. By the time he is finished, Sanemi is feeling annoyed and wondering where they even got the information about the supposed upper moon.
Himejima seems sympathetic.
“This is related to what I wanted to speak to you about.” Himejima says, “While you were away we had a confirmed account of a lower demon moon, though it seems this one was an exile.”
“An exile?”
“Yes, three mizunoto slayers discovered him up one of the mountains down west.” Himejima pauses, and Sanemi frowns. Three of the lowest ranking slayers defeated a moon? Himejima continues, “Apparently the demon was solely targeting humans with ‘ marechi’. ”
Himejima continues to inform him about the demon and these three slayers. It would be a tall tale if not for the slayer’s crows returning to the Master and confirming their story.
The sky outside has gotten darker by the time they finish speaking. Sanemi still has not found the right time or the right words to bring up Genya, and he fears that he may have lost his chance.
As Himejima is leaving, nearly out the door, Sanemi finally gains the courage—forcing out the words, “I hear you got a Tsuguko.”
Himejima pauses, “Where did you hear that?”
Sanemi swallows, “Little birdy told me.”
A little crow, more precisely.
“I am watching over a boy,” Himejima smiles, apparently not minding his evasion, “He is not my Tsuguko, but he has asked me for training.”
He says nothing more, and Sanemi does not ask.
He and Himejima had always been on good terms. It was hard not to be. The rock pillar was a perfect example of a gentle giant, kind and understanding. At first he attracted Sanemi’s attention solely by his size and his power alone. The man could crush a demon with one swing of his weapon, and the way he wielded it showed immense skill and confidence in his abilities.
It was his personality that really drew him in, though. Soft and kind. Never harsh in his teachings, or cruel, always guiding with a smile and firm hand. Himejima found the tragedy of the world something to mourn, but something he would spend his life fixing, not looking back to the past and only toward the future.
A man that truely demanded the respect of those around him.
Sanemi would be lying, though, if he said he didn’t find Himejima attractive. How could he not? It was not strange for him to find the physical traits in others, mostly men, appealing, but he never had time for things like that. Raising his siblings when he was younger, and then trying to at least protect the one who was left after. He spent days, years , killing the creatures who would threaten Genya. He did not have time for anything frivolous like sexual or romantic attraction.
No matter how tall, muscular, kind and handsome they were. It didn’t matter that when he stood next to Himejima that he felt comfortable, even small in his presence, wondering what it would be like being wrapped in his arms. He certainly did not feel his blood pressure rise and his heart skip a beat the day that Himejima asked to feel his face with his hands to ‘see’ what he looked like, and he did not want to pull the man down by his clothes and kiss him when Himejima said ‘I knew you would be handsome.’
He was the Wind Pillar, not the Love Pillar.
-
They are training together, at Sanemi’s home.
Away from the mountain that Himejima lives on, away from Genya. He still hasn’t asked Himejima about him, too afraid of what he might hear. He doesn’t want to know how well is or how well he isn’t taking to killing demons. If he is doing well, then it will make Sanemi mourn for his brother to have a normal life, away from this violent world. If he isn’t doing well, and is suffering then Sanemi doesn’t think he can stop himself from forcing Genya to stop training, no matter the costs.
Himejima pauses during one of his downswings, his chest muscles shining with sweat and his face scrunched in concern.
“Are you distracted, Shinazugawa?”
He is distracted. By the thoughts of his brother, but also by the sight in front of him. The sun beating down on Himejima’s head, the light framing him like a halo, and the sweat running down his strong jaw, his neck and pooling down into the dips of his collarbone, and hearing the heavy breathing across from him.
It is distracting.
Sanemi didn’t consider him to be this type of man. To want someone carnally who is so polarly opposite of himself in physique. He had considered himself someone who would have casual flings with people who were smaller than him, soft in a way that he wasn’t, people without the scars and hardships of his life, but also people who he could have underneath him.
People he could hold close and people he could take care of in that way.
With Himejima, well, it was hard for him not to think of himself as the one under him.
It makes him rethink what he wants. He has always been the type to fight and protect, to be a literal and figurative shield. With Himejima, he wonders what it would be like to receive softness, to be given care instead of being the one to hand it out.
He had always thought he would want to marry someone like his mother, kind and gentle. As Himejima drops his weapon to the ground and approaches him, quiet with a considering tilt of his head, patiently waiting for his answer does Sanemi think that maybe Himejima is that kind of man.
To watch over Genya, where Sanemi cannot, but to not mention it or laud it over his head. To not make Sanemi feel more like a failure than he already is, not being able to give his brother the life he deserves.
Himejima does not stop him when he reaches up to grab at the front of his clothes, pulling him down, and embarrassingly, so Sanemi can stretch up on his toes. He presses his nose against the side of Himejima’s neck, breathing in the scent of him, not being able to stop himself from the temptation of licking up a trail of his sweat, tasting the salt.
It’s only encouraging when he feels impossibly strong arms wrap around him, gripping at his waist and lifting him a couple inches off the ground, one arm moving down below him to grip under Sanemi’s thigh, holding him up with ease. The manhandling shoots a jolt of heat down his body, and he realizes that he is flush against Himejima now, faces inches apart.
“Is that what this is about?” Himejima smiles at him, kindness radiating from like the wind, sweeping Sanemi up higher and higher into this frustrating feeling he cannot place. This want that he cannot control.
Whatever this is, it makes Sanemi bite his lip to keep him from kissing Himejima on the lips, just a breath away from his own.
“You know Shinazugawa,” Himejima’s voice is quiet in the air but it sounds so loud, and Sanemi cannot tell who is responsible for the space between them growing smaller and smaller, “You are rather handsome.”
Sanemi's voice catches in his throat, an almost strangled sound barely escaping him. He realizes that he has gone from using his hands on Himejima’s shoulders for balance to simply clutching the fabric of his partially opened uniform.
“I should be the one saying that.” Is all he can manage to choke out, and when Himejima smiles wider his last remnants of his willpower give out.
Kissing Himejima is exactly like what he thought it would be - overly soft, sweet and chaste at first, but then when Sanemi bites Himejima’s lower lip it turns heated.
One of the hands gripping Sanemi’s thighs, supporting him, moves up his side and feels its way up his spine to cup the back of his head. Fingers threading between the short hair there, and kneading the muscles of his neck.
It makes him feel weak—Himejima makes him feel weak—not for the first time, and it makes him groan low. Muscles tensing and relaxing, while Himejima adjusts his weight in his arm as if he weighs nothing at all. Hefting him higher so that Sanemi is using his forearms now to brace against Himejima’s shoulders as he pushes their mouths together, again and again.
Sanemi can feel the sweat, both his and Himejima, against his arms, sliding down his shirt, and where he has moved his hands beneath the collar of the shirt in his grip. It probably should gross him out, but it only adds to the rising heat inside his body. The sun doesn’t help, seemingly beating down hotter on them every passing minute.
“Do you want to go inside?” Sanemi pulls back to ask. Not sure if he really wants to be set down or risk breaking whatever illusion has come over the two of them in order to escape the rising heat.
Himejima laughs, a deep one that rumbles in his chest and Sanemi can feel it against his stomach where they are pressed together.
“I would be honored.”