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"Did you hear about the Patron Saint of Vampires?" The question caused a round of scoffs to circle the table at such an absurd title, as if the monsters had any claim to a connection with the church. A group of men sat around a large table laden with ale; each of them had a pile of coins in front of them (some more than others) and we're just beginning another round of cards.
"No such thing." Groused a gruff old man as he shuffled the deck.
"Ha!" Barked a younger man, "As if the parish would allow them bloodsuckers a claim like that." He took a deep swig of ale from his mug and slammed it on the table. "Them demons are a stain on God's earth and anyone who says otherwise is either a witless fool or an agent of Lucifer."
The response caused a mirthful grin to spread across the face of the man who'd asked such a ridiculous question. "Oh, I met the man himself when I was on my way back from the north. You'd be right on both accounts, the church didn't take to kindly to a man sayin vampires weren't all that different from humans so they kicked him out on the street."
"Good riddance." Huffed the old man as he began to deal the next round of cards. "We don't need no demon apologists spouting nonsense to the masses."
"But get this, before he decided to be all buddy buddy with the vamps he'd been an exorcist! A fairly accomplished one if you'd believe the rumors, the Bishop himself had sent him out on hunts personally. Well, up until his last assignment that is." He paused a moment to take a drink of his ale, letting suspense grow in his companions.
"Well, come on then. What was the job?" The young man Barked impatiently,
The man grinned behind the rim of his mug at the prompt, pleased to have such an eager audience. "He told me he'd been sent to exorcize the Frost Demon himself, The Frigid Vampire of the North."
"That's bullcrap! Ain't no one's dumb enough to challenge a Vampire Lord on his own." The young man refuted, "I bet he's just trying to make himself sound better cause he couldn't cut it as a hunter."
"It's true! He said he'd gone out to face the cold-hearted demon and met his spawn instead. Something about seeing an innocent child and its loving father instead of the demons he'd been expecting."
"Bah" the old man scoffed "Sounds like the words of a man who got cold feet at the reality of the hunt. Just because those monsters look human don't mean they have a speck of life in them. They're soulless parasites, ya hear! Don't let a spineless worm like that convince you otherwise." As he finished he looked pointedly at the young man.
"What's that look for? I wouldn't fall for some sob story like that!" The young man cried out in indignation.
"Oh sure you wouldn't, not like you didn't fall for that pretty lady who needed to 'borrow' your horse."
"Oh don't bring that up again!"
The parlor was quiet except for the tiny clinking of silverware as a pair of nuns nibbled their way through a slice of strawberry cake. Their usual source of gossip, the many secret affairs that were admitted in confessional, had taken a brief lull which left them very little to talk about.
"Have you heard the tale of the Patron Saint of Vampires?" The sudden question caused the other nun to cough in shock.
"Sister Nora! I don't think you should be spreading such blasphemy!"
Sister Nora waved her fork dismissively, "Is it really blasphemy though, Sister Sadie? Excommunication aside, he was a learned man of God who advocated for the personhood of vampires. It seems like an apt title for the man."
"Even so, the title implies vampires need an advocate, a protector, as if they're not the ones causing problems." She argued, "Did you know there's a vampire out there that can force you to confess your deepest desire? He ruined a wedding in my hometown when he forced the groom to confess he preferred the bride's sister!"
"It sounds more like the problem lies with the groom." Sister Nora replied dryly. "If anything, the vampire's intervention saved the bride from an unhappy marriage."
"Oh, come on. It's not like he was acting out of some benevolent desire to save her from some future heartbreak. He just wanted to cause some chaos."
"Maybe so, but that doesn't mean he's pure evil. I'd probably put him on the same level as that one young man who likes to streak through town in the middle of the night."
As dawn began to break on the horizon a man stumbled his way into his home and collapsed into his armchair, shoulders sagging as he let out a tired groan. Behind him in the kitchen the faint sounds of pots clacking and cupboards opening could be heard and, not long after, the enticing smells of a hearty breakfast drifted across his senses. The man's belly rumbled hungrily in response, but he was still too tired to get up and check on the meal.
"Coffee?" A deep voice rumbled behide the man, causing him to flinch in shock. The owner of the voice was intimidating in height, looming over the shorter man from behind the back of the armchair. He had slick black hair and a well groomed mustache that paired nicely with his pointed ears and purplish skin. In his grasp was a steaming cup of coffee that a comically small in his large hand.a
"Bloody hell, D! Don't scare me like that!" The man exclaimed, hand leaving the handle of the ax strapped to his waist that he'd grabbed on reflex. "Who let you in here anyway?"
"Come now, Helsing. Do I really need an invitation to visit a dear friend?" The vampire asked, the tiniest hint of a smile gracing his otherwise impassive face.
"Yes! You do!" He replied indignantly, swiping the cup from his hand. "At least warn me before you pop in uninvited."
"I invited him." The words cause Helsing to turn his attention to the entrance of the den room, his wife stands in the hallway, fully dressed with a case of luggage beside her. "I'm heading out to visit my mother and I thought you'd want some company while I was gone."
"Was that today?" He asks, jerking upright in his chair. "I'm sorry, I'd quite forgotten."
She smiles before briskly walking to his side to kiss his cheek. "That's alright, I know you'd lose your head if it wasn't attached to your neck." Then she leans up to plant another kiss to D's cheek "You two be good while I'm gone!"
After she departs, Helsing heaves himself out of his chair to head for the kitchen as D follows behind like a shadow. As he settles down at the kitchen table, D glides into the kitchen proper to collect a slice of the breakfast pie he'd baked for Helsing and then joins him at the table.
As he eats his breakfast, Helsing recounts the recent hunts he'd completed and one strange encounter with a vampiric nun. A faint, fond smile graced D's face, hidden beneath his mustache, as he watched Helsing talk about his daily life. As the tale of the vampiric nun wound down, Helsing finished the last of his breakfast and D whisked the plate away to rinse it in the sink. Leaning back in his chair in satisfaction of a good meal, Helsing watched his friend tackle washing the rest of the dishes. With his sleeves rolled up and soap suds on his hands, D looked no different than any other man.
"Did you ever meet the Patron Saint of Vampires?" He asked suddenly, "you must have been alive when he was around."
The question gave D pause and his brow furrowed in thought. "I don't think I've heard of the man." He placed the last of the dishes in the drying rack and wiped his hands dry. His mustache quirked up and a twinkle sparked in his eyes as he turned to look at Helsing. "He sounds interesting, tell me about him.
A woman stood by the door of an old weathered shed that had seen better days. Curiously, while the paint on the outside of the shed was flaking and curling with age the inside of its windows had been painted over with an array of vibrant colors. After a brief moment of hesitation, she raised her hand to knock on the door.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
"Honey?" She called out, "Momma's here, honey. I got some dinner for you." In her other arm she held a picnic basket against her hip and adjusted it nervously, eyes darting around as if to check for any spying neighbors.
"Y-you can come in." A timid voice responded.
She cocked an eyebrow at the quick response and turned the doorknob. The door opens easily and she lets out an aggrieved sigh before slipping in.
"What did I tell you about lockin this door?" She asks as she quickly closes and locks the shed door behind her. "What if someone has tried to get in durin the day? You coulda got hurt!"
In the far corner of the shed, a small head peaked out from beneath a mound of blankets and gave her a sheepish grin that displayed a small set of sharp fangs.
"Thorry, Momma." Lisped the boy apologetically.
She smiled fondly at his lisp, finding it utterly adorable that his attempts to talk around his new set of fangs had given him the little speech impediment.
"I can't stay mad at you." She huffed as he crawled out and onto his nest of blankets "budge over buddy, it's dinner time." She said before plopping down beside her son.
"What'd you get me?" He asked with an eager smile on his face.
"I got you your favorite! Tomato soup and some cheese toasties!" She declared triumphantly, removing a thermos and tupperware container from the basket.
His grin waivered and he looked at the thermos in her hand with apprehension, eyes sliding to the bandages peaking out beneath her sleeve. Squaring his shoulders he gave her a brave smile and a big hug. "Thankth Momma, I'll make thure to finith everything."
Her eyes burned with repressed tears and she kissed the top of his head. "I know you will baby, you're a good boy for Momma." Leaning back, she clapped her hands together "Right, then!" She declared. "While you eat your dinner, I~" she dragged out, reaching into the basket "will read you more of the 'Adventures of the Pirate King'." She finished, brandishing a thick book in front of him.
"Yay!" He shouted gleefully, wiggling excitedly in place. "I want to know how the King was able to escape the thinking thhip!"
"Alright, alright!" She exclaimed with a laugh. "Settle down and eat your dinner, I gotta find where I left off." As she skimmed the pages, he began to nibble on the cheese toasties, taking small sips of soup between bites to make the bland sandwich more palatable.
Technically, he didn't need to eat the sandwich, it didn't hold much nutrition for him, but he wasn't ready to drink his… soup without it. The normality of a cheese toasty made his 'tomato' soup less scary. He didn't feel quite so… abnormal when he ate them.
About halfway through reading the next page aloud she realized her son had been spacing out and hadn't heard a word she'd said. "Hey, little sailor. It looks like you're lost amongst the waves. You alright there bud?" She asks with concern.
"I'm never gonna be normal again, am I?" His question was quiet and solemn as he looked down at his toasty.
She sighed heavily and pulled him into her lap "You may never be human again, but you will always be my son, you hear me? None of this–" she tickled his pointed ears "or this–" she pinched his cheeks into a grin that showed off his fangs "is ever gonna change that."
"Even though I'm a demon?"
"You're not a demon, you're a vampire" She corrected, "and vampires aren't evil." "The only time you were a demon was when you put a snake in Nana's sleeping bag last year." She grinned at his stunned expression and ruffled his hair, "Didn't think I knew it was you, did you?"
"Momma~! Cut it out!" He cried out, ducking his head to get away from her hands. "I'm theriouth! Danny thaid–"
"You know better than to listen to your brother."
"But, he THaid~ that the church ith gonna thend thomeone to extherthith me! And they only do that to demonth in the movieth!"
"I'm gonna kill your Papa for letting you two watch those scary movies." She grumbled. "The church doesn't do that kinda stuff anymore. Besides, I bet you could take Pastor Dufflan in a fight, you just gotta go for the knees. That's his weak spot." Her joke gained the little giggle she'd been looking for.
"But they uthed too?" He asked for clarification as he nestled against her.
"Yea, ages and ages ago, before even Nana was born (and she's as old as dirt), the church used to send crusades and exorcists after vampires. And then one day, one of the exorcists faced the church and declared that humans and vampires were not so different, that to hunt them indiscriminately would be wrong."
"He thtopped them? Just like that?" He sounded skeptical at things working out that easy.
"Not at first, it's said he was kicked from the church and treated poorly by people for his beliefs, but his words inspired a rise of tolerance towards vampires. Because of his willingness to speak out and advocate for vampires like you, he was called the Patron Saint of Vampires." She looked down at his awed expression, happy to have distracted him from his fear.
"Wooow… but, what was hith name?"
Surprised by the unexpected question, she said the first name to pop into her head.
"Uhh …Bob."
The corner cafe was bustling with customers, armchairs filled with desperate students trying to finish last minute papers and tables surrounded by study groups cramming for the coming midterms. In a corner by the door stood a conglomerate of people awkwardly standing around, waiting for their name to be called for their to-go orders.
On the edge of this group stood a composed young woman, strands of silver-white hair artfully framed her face, highlighting her striking blue eyes. As calm and collected she appeared to be, she was just as equally frazzled hidden within, only exposed by her incessant glances at her phone's clock. (These glances are what ultimately caused her to lose her game of Flappy Bat)
She sighed and put her phone away, if she was going to be late to class anyways there was no use worrying about it, best to just keep the reminder out of sight. Her class started in the late evening, well after sundown, which meant she needed a large dose of caffeine to get through the night without falling asleep at her desk. So here she was, in the 24 hour cafe waiting to receive her required cup of heaven instead of running to class to get there on time.
"Uhh- large, triple-expresso graveyard latte for Himari?" Shouted a barista from the to go counter.
Himari perked up at the sound of her name and made a brisk beeline for the counter. In her hurry to reach her blessed ambrosia she ended up tripping over a rug placed between a set of armchairs that sat beside the counter. As she lay splayed out on the ground Himari briefly considered simply giving up and going to bed, tonight was obviously a wash and if she was lucky a classmate would be willing to let her borrow their notes.
"A-are you okay?!" The accent of the worried bystander was rather thick, indicative of a foreigner still learning the local language, but it was pronounced properly at least.
A pale hand entered her vision, an offering of assistance. "Help, let me up you?" A snort of amusement left her as she took the offered hand. The surprisingly cold appendage pulled her off the ground with ease and she quickly brushed herself off.
In front of her stood her kind rescuer, a tall man in a thick black cardigan and blue wool scarf that covered his mouth. His thick curly hair did nothing to hide the sharp points of his ears nor the crimson gleem of his eyes, though there had been an attempt. His awkward countenance reminded her of the newly turned vampires in the Vampire 101 class she TA'd for, a strange mix of being comfortable in one's own skin and the slight discomfort of breaking in a new pair of shoes.
Himari smiles and gives a small bow of gratitude, "Thanks for the help! Hope I didn't disturb you."
He jolts in shock at the bow then quickly responds with one of his, "It fine! It fine!" He assured her and pointed to the armchair behind him, "I only reading." On the table next to the chair is a stack of books, consisting of an English to Japanese dictionary and a few easy to read books for beginners.
They nod politely to each other as Himari turns to grab her order off the counter, "Well, I'm off to class. Enjoy your night!"
"Um, you too. Enjoy your… death coffee?"
With that, she rushed out of the shop and headed to class, power walking like her grade depended on it. Once she reached her classroom she quietly entered and snuck to the back of the room, at the front the teacher was just finishing up a review of the prior weeks lesson to make sure everyone was up to speed.
After settling into her chair at the back of the room, Himari gave herself a moment to catch her breath and down a third of her "death coffee" before getting out her notes.
"Alright kids! Now that review is out of the way, let me teach you something new." Himari's spine straightened at those words and pressed her pen to paper, eager to learn more vampire history. "We set our scene in England, sometime in the early 1800s, with the little known tale of the Patron Saint of Vampires."