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“I cannot believe Bucky is late to his own wedding,” Natasha sighs.
“Bucky will be late to his funeral,” Steve shrugs. “That’s just how he is.”
For his entire life, Steve has been excusing Bucky’s tardiness. Well, for as long as he can remember, but Steve doesn’t have memories of his life without Bucky. There were a couple of years that they didn’t know one another before the newly widowed Sarah Rogers moved into the apartment down the hall from the Barnes’. As far as Steve is concerned those years don’t count.
“You’d of thought the Army would have cured him of that quirk,” Natasha says. “Especially on a special day like this.”
“Today is nothing special, let’s not kid ourselves,” despite his best efforts, the bitterness Steve feels about the day is evident in his voice.
All the stupid magazines littering the doctor’s waiting room preach that getting married is the best day of an Omega’s life. It’s heteronormative bullshit being pushed, but Steve had hoped getting married would be something, maybe not special, but not this. Not him getting married to his best friend so he can have health insurance to cover his medications and needed heart surgery.
And then there is the whole treasure trove of feelings Steve has hoarded for Bucky their entire lives. Of course, Bucky has never seen Steve as anything other than his best friend and a brother of sorts.
So yeah, not a super special day for Steven Grant Rogers.
Steve should have told Bucky no when the offer was made a couple of weeks ago. After spending three days in the hospital when a cough turned into pneumonia, Steve was so tired and grateful to be home, he would have said yes to anything Bucky was offering. It wasn’t until the next day when Steve had a full night's sleep for the first time in a week that it hit him. Bucky was serious.
“Buck, getting married just so I can have insurance is not legal. You could get in real trouble with the Army if they found out.”
“We don’t tell anyone and no one is going to figure it out. We already live together so no one will think something’s up. We get married, you get on my insurance, and get your heart surgery. When you graduate in the spring, Stark’ll hire you, and then you’ll have your own insurance. Besides, I’m deploying for a year in September. We can get a divorce when I get back. No one ‘ll be the wiser. Let me take care of you in this way.”
Bucky wasn’t wrong about the job waiting for Steve in the spring. After interning with the marketing department at SI, the head of the department, Mr. Erskine showed Steve the contract of employment that would be waiting for him after graduation. He felt that Steve was a perfect fit for the team. Starting pay at SI was more than Steve could have hoped to earn and all employees are guaranteed full benefits as soon as they are hired. No waiting period. No red tape. Tony Stark takes care of his people.
But that wasn’t what sold Steve on the plan in the end. It was the puppy dog eyes Bucky does so well and the promise of being taken care of. Steve said yes to the dumbest idea in the history of the universe so for a minute, he would be more than just Bucky’s best friend. He would be his mate.
When all is said and done in a year, Bucky would go back to his Alpha stud ways, completely oblivious to his best friend’s feelings for him.
“Finally,” Natasha’s voice broke through Steve’s maudlin thoughts. Despite their wanting to keep their sham marriage a secret, they still had to tell Natasha so she could be a witness. Steve never thought she would go with it, but she has been surprisingly supportive.
Steve looks up to see Bucky, decked out in his dress blues, running up the courthouse steps. Oh, god, Bucky looked good. The Army has the best dress uniforms.
“Sorry, sorry,” Bucky says as he reaches them. “I couldn’t find my dress belt. You look really nice Steve. That blue is always a good color on you.”
Steve does not blush through sheer force of will. He talked Darcy into tailoring his best suit to fit him properly and paired it with his best cobalt blue button-down that made his eyes pop. The marriage may be fake and the groom may not be in love with him, but Steve is going to look his best on his wedding day.
“So, one minor thing before we go in,” Bucky’s eyes drop to his shoes and he fiddles with a button on his coat. “Clint and Sam found out we were getting married today. I was able to convince them to not come to the courthouse, but they are insisting that we meet them for a celebratory lunch after.”
“Oh,” Steve choked out. That puts a big complicated dent in this whole scheme. If people in his unit know Bucky and Steve are mates, would they question things when there is a quick divorce after a year? Sam is friends with Bucky’s sister. Is Bucky’s family going to know too?
When Steve voices his questions to Bucky, he throws his arm around Steve’s shoulders and gives that smirk that makes Steve want to either kiss the handsome Alpha or murder him. “We’ll just tell them that we are better off as friends than mates and it’ll be fine. You’re worrying too much.”
“Someone has to.”
“Stevie, I will always take care of you. Trust me.”
And what can Steve say to that? He is so much in love with Bucky that he would walk in front of traffic if Bucky said it would make his life that much better.
Natasha’s poignant silence throughout the conversation would have been more suspicious to Steve if his head hadn’t been in such a mess.
The ceremony is blessedly quick. The judge gives a quick, but a pleasant speech about the importance of marriage and commitment before having them state the traditional vows. Bucky surprises Steve with his grandmother’s ring.
“It will look more authentic since everyone knows she left it to me to give to my future mate.”
The overwhelming emotions threaten to choke Steve when Bucky slides the delicate family heirloom on his ring finger. The ring Steve has for Bucky is plain in comparison. A simple gold band with “Till the end of the line” etched in Gaelic on the inside, but Steve fashioned it himself at school.
Steve tries his best to not melt into a puddle of goo when Bucky kisses him after they are declared mates. The extra-strength blockers and the super-absorbant underwear Steve donned that morning works like a charm since the courthouse didn’t scent just how much Steve is enjoying the kiss. And Bucky being Bucky sells it for the judge. Natasha photographs the whole thing like the evil person she is.
It all takes less than 20 minutes. Steve and Bucky sign the paperwork, Natasha signs as their witness and it is done. Steve is officially Steven Grant Rogers-Barnes.
At least until next year when they divorce and Bucky signs off on the approval to let Steve drop his mated name.
Lunch is a simple, but festive affair with Clint and Sam inviting more people than Steve thought they knew. Not only were half of Bucky’s unit present, but his mother and sister were also in attendance. They even managed to get a hold of some of Steve’s art school friends.
Everyone wants to hug the newlyweds. Winnie and Becca wrap Steve up in an embrace several times over proclaiming they “knew this day would come” and “it’s a shame they decided to get married so fast.”
“I would have thrown you two a wedding for the ages!” Winnie exclaimed after her third, tearful hug. “A celebration of the lifelong love you two have had for each other.”
The truth that the love is one-sided made valiant attempts to claw its way out of Steve’s throat, only staying back by Steve’s wish that it is all true. Holding on to the fantasy for just a moment that he and Bucky are mates because they were in love.
“Ma, please stop squishing my mate.”
“Sorry, sorry. I’m just so happy,” Winnie reaches out and drags Bucky into her arms with Steve. “But my son married his best friend. You two have been inseparable since the moment you met. Always thick as thieves even after you both presented. The friendship remained strong and blossomed into love. What more could a mother want for her children? And Sarah. Oh, Sarah would love this as much as I do-”
“Excuse me for just a moment,” Steve pulls away before Winnie can say more about his ma. “I need to-” Steve stumbles his way to the bathroom before he can be sick.
He barely makes it to the toilet before what little of his lunch he could eat makes its way back up. The blood pounds so loud in his ears, he doesn’t hear or notice Natasha joining him in the stall until she starts to rub soothing circles on his back.
“This is an Omega only bathroom,” he says after flushing the sick down the toilet.
“Like anyone cares when they see a Beta in their bathroom.” Natasha tisks at him, “oh, Steve.”
“Don’t. You know how sensitive my stomach can be. And it's a crazy day. I was bound to get sick at some point.”
Her sigh loudly echoes off the bathroom tiles, but Natasha doesn’t say anything else as she helps Steve up. With a quick hug, she leaves to make his excuses to the group. Thankfully none of his regurgitated lunch made it onto his shirt and tie, making cleaning up as simple as bushing off the dust from the floor off his pants and rinsing out his mouth. He hesitates for a little longer before heading back into the restaurant, ready to paste on a happy mated Omega smile.
Steve’s apologies are waived off by everyone. Those Omegas can get overly excited, they tell themselves. But the ever watchful Bucky calls it a day shortly after.
“It’s our honeymoon! Do you really expect us to spend it with all of you?” Bucky exclaims and blows a few kisses to the cat calling Clint.
“Go! Enjoy being married,” Sam ushers them out the door. “We’ll all have a fun dinner before we’re shipped out.”
Winnie squeezes in one more hug, sans the tears, before Bucky and Steve escape.
Their first evening as mates passes like all the other evenings they spend together. They make dinner and watch a new episode of the Great British Baking Show and head to bed in their separate bedrooms. Steve doesn’t sleep a wink.
The honeymoon is a paperwork filled nightmare for Steve and Bucky. They spend most of their time in various offices getting Steve set up as Bucky’s beneficiary, then navigating the labyrinth that is getting Steve his military spouse's ID card. None of those were compared to the mountain of paperwork that they endured putting Steve on Bucky’s insurance.
By the time they made it to Steve’s cardiologist appointment Friday morning, they were exhausted and never wanted to see another piece of paper again. Thankfully the receptionist took pity on them and just asked for the insurance card. No new paperwork to fill out.
“Congratulations on the marriage!” Dr. Cho greets the pair as she reviews the last set of Steve’s bloodwork. If she is suspicious as to how all of a sudden Steve has insurance, she doesn’t show it. “The blood work from last week came back and it looks like Steve has recovered from the bout of pneumonia. We can move on with our plans to correct the atrial septal defect.”
Dr. Cho walks Steve and Bucky through the procedure of how the cardiac shunt will close the defect in his atria. Steve has been through this before, but it is Bucky’s first time hearing the full details. The surgery is minimally invasive, which means a short recovery time for Steve.
“Once the PFO is closed, you should experience fewer respiratory issues, outside of the normal ones from asthma that is, and those occasional migraines should become rare occurrences.”
“I am definitely looking for to less of both of those,” Steve sighs wistfully. “Especially with the fall semester coming up. It will be so nice to not feel like I’m playing catch up all semester because of illness.”
“And you’ll be able to properly enjoy college life for a change. Maybe make it to one of those parties Darcy has been begging you to go to,” Bucky gently nudges Steve with his elbow.
“Well, now he’s a mated Omega, he won’t be partying too much,” Dr. Cho softly laughs.
Bucky nervously laughs with her, realizing his mistake, “Right?”
“So, Dierdra at the front will get you scheduled for the surgery and she will have printouts of all the information we just went over.” Dr. Cho leads them to the front desk and gives one more congratulation before moving on to her next patient.
Over the next two weeks before his surgery, Steve dodges dinner invites from Winnie and deep cleans their entire apartment several times over. An old habit he picked up from the late Sarah Rogers, cleaning when nervous. But also, he needed to make sure to remove evidence of his overwhelming feelings of late.
In preparation for his upcoming deployment, Bucky spends most of his time on base for training maneuvers. Despite Bucky’s absence, Steve finds that it is increasingly difficult to be in Bucky’s presence now they are mates. His body refuses to understand that the ring on his left hand isn’t meant to be his, leaving his hormones feeling like they are running on high.
Every morning he wakes up wet and hard. His dreams are plagued with fantasies of what his honeymoon could have been if Bucky had married Steve out of love instead of friendly obligation.
The caramelized apple scent of his arousal covers Steve’s room. The strongest diffusers barely work to keep his scent from dominating the rest of the apartment. If it weren’t for his heat a month ago, Steve would swear he is going into pre-heat.
On the mornings when Steve caves to his desire and takes himself in hand, he imagines how his scent would blend with the lustful wood smoke of Bucky’s excitement. How the two scents would mingle and create their combined essence of sex and love. When the high of the orgasm wore off, Steve would then spiral into guilt and deep clean the apartment again.
The surgery is a success. The only complication was a minor fever keeping him in the hospital a day longer than expected. Five days post-op, Steve is home and on the mend with Bucky hovering over him like an overzealous mother hen.
“Bucky, seriously, you can go and grab a beer with Clint and Sam. I’m just going to be sleeping the rest of the day away, no need to worry.”
The fever left Bucky nervous that Steve’s heart was rejecting the splint. Before they left the hospital, Bucky borderline interrogated Dr. Cho on her decision to send Steve home. He had finally relented when Steve put his foot down about wanting to sleep in his bed.
“You are still at risk for an infection and we don’t know for sure if the shunt hasn’t migrated. I need to stay here.”
Steve is too tired to hold back his loud sigh. He pats his friend’s hand with as much patience as he can muster, “Dr. Cho’s positive everything is where it should be and I’ll be fine for cupola hours. You need to take some time to decompress.”
Bucky pins him with an intense look Steve’s not sure how to interpret, “I don’t need to decompress from you, Steve. Stop tryna get rid of me.”
A soft feeling washes over Steve as he thinks about Bucky choosing to be here with him.
Bucky gives a hollow bark of a laugh, “Besides, how would it look if I was out drinking with my buddies right after my mate came home from heart surgery?”
And that was the splash of cold water Steve needed to get his head out of the clouds. This is not a real marriage. They have to keep up appearances of being mates and all.
Steve’s newly repaired heart is just as dumb as it was when it was defective.
“No, you’re right,” Steve mumbles as he pulls the blankets up so high, he nearly covers his face. “’m gonna take that nap now.”
“Alright. I’m gonna check on you here in a bit. Make sure you aren’t running too hot.”
“Sure, sure,” Steve says into his comforter, eyes refusing to look at Bucky. He tells himself the scent of overripe apples permeates the room because he is tired, not heartbroken.
When fall classes start at the end of August, Steve is grateful to have the excuse to leave the house.
Despite Dr. Cho’s recommendation of one-week bed rest, Bucky vehemently insisted on Steve spending every moment of the last two and half weeks resting as much as possible. Rarely letting Steve leave his sight. Clucking at the Omega as if he was an invalid.
It drove Steve insane and he wished it would never end. Being the singular object of Bucky’s attention was addictive. Steve craved it with every fiber of his existence. He needed distance before he lost his mind completely and did something horrible. Like kiss Bucky.
But as Bucky finishes packing for deployment in September, Steve wishes he hadn’t spent that time getting away from Bucky.
“I’m gonna miss you, punk,” Bucky holds out his arms for one last hug.
“That’s no way to talk to you mate, jerk,” Steve mutters into Bucky’s shoulder.
“Be good, study hard, get lots of rest.” Bucky presses a quick kiss to Steve’s forehead and he is out the door.
School works as a great excuse to get out of having dinner with Winnie for the first month after Bucky shipped out. He doesn’t want to deal with the questions as to how he is holding up with Bucky gone. Steve could answer those questions honestly, that he is lonely and aching for Bucky, and he would get a lot of love and comfort. But Steve doesn’t deserve to be comforted by Winnie. He is lying to her.
Granted, he is madly in love with her son, but the marriage is fake.
It should have been suspicious when Steve didn’t get his weekly invitation to dinner, but it didn’t occur to him that Winnie would just invite herself over until he opens his door and is greeted with the delicious smell of shepherd’s pie. Steve’s favorite meal.
“Steve, sweetheart!” Winnie pulls him into one of her giant hugs. “I hope you don’t mind that I let myself in,” she pins him with a look that conveys he shouldn’t mind her being there. “With classes keeping you so busy, I wanted to make sure you were eating properly. Don’t think I didn’t notice all you had in the fridge was a few veggies and sandwich stuff. You need a stick-to-your-ribs meal to build up your strength now that your heart’s all better.”
Arguing with Winnie that he can take care of himself just fine is pointless, so Steve thanks her for her thoughtfulness. The pie does smell incredible and Steve is starving.
Dinner is pleasant with Winnie mostly sticking to questions about school and his recovery. She doesn’t fuss over him as horribly as her son did, but there is a fair amount of mothering as she adds a second helping to Steve’s plate. By the time they finish off a slice of her homemade pound cake, Steve realizes he had been rude avoiding Winnie. He accepts her invitation to dinner at her place next Sunday vowing to be better for Bucky’s sake.
Stepping out into the crisp December evening, Steve hums to himself happily as he mentally runs through his shopping checklist. One of these years he won’t leave getting gifts to the last minute, but at least he took care of the last person on his list, an angora scarf for Mrs. Petterson downstairs, before it got too late on Christmas Eve.
Walking back to his place, Steve hopes Bucky will be able to call in the next day or so. Steve was sure he had mailed off Bucky’s gifts in time to reach him before the end of Hanukkah last week, but he wouldn’t know for sure until they talked.
Emailing Bucky has been consistent enough. Once a week on average. Phone calls were sporadic and short since there was always a long line of people waiting to make their calls home. But over Thanksgiving, Bucky got to do a video call with Steve, Winnie, and Becca. Seeing Bucky’s face after several weeks of only having photos and his imagination filled a hole in Steve’s soul that had been nagging him. Steve missed the way Bucky talked so animatedly, unable to hold his hands still as he told the story of him and Sam getting chased by irate camels.
Bucky has only been gone four months, but Steve aches like it has been years. The longest they have been separated before this was when Bucky went off to boot camp. They hadn’t even tried to think about what it would be like if Bucky was going to be stationed somewhere outside of the tri-state area. But Bucky had lucked out with orders to a unit at Fort Hamilton in Brooklyn. Steve had been sure Bucky was going to be sent clear to the other side of the world and he would maybe get to see his best friend once every year or so.
Back in high school, Natasha had teased Bucky, asking why he was joining the Army when he never wanted to be sent somewhere far from home. Bucky shrugged her questions off, but Steve knew why. The late George Barnes had said it over and over throughout their lives. The Barnes’s serve their country. Bucky’s father would have retired as Master Sergeant if it wasn't for the heart attack that took his life suddenly, and Bucky’s grandfather had retired as a First Sergeant. Generations of Barnes’ Alphas going so far back they’d lost count had joined the military, many making a career of it. Bucky wasn’t about to be the first Alpha in his family to not serve.
Standing outside of the Army recruitment office the day after Bucky turned 18, Steve had asked if this was what he wanted. Bucky didn’t answer.
Preoccupied with the thought of a possible phone call with Bucky, Steve didn’t notice someone waiting for him in the living room until he caught a familiar scent.
“Buck!” Steve would have been embarrassed at the way he ran and jumped into Bucky’s arms, but his elation overseeing his mate quelled any negative feelings.
Bucky easily catches Steve and swings him around in an enthusiastic hug. “I missed you so much,” he says, burying his nose in Steve’s neck. Their tiny apartment fills with their happy mixed scent of cinnamon apples. Bucky pulls back from the hug and presses a kiss into Steve’s forehead.
“How long have you been here? I thought you weren’t going to be home for another eight months.”
“Just got here maybe 30 minutes ago, long enough to wash the travel grime off. And we’re on temporary leave for Christmas. We go back on the 26th, but I don’t wanna talk about leaving right now. Tell me things. How did finals go? My mother driving you crazy?”
“Finals went awesome. Winnie is fine, she’s doing everything in her power to put some weight on me,” Steve laughs.
Bucky steps back and looks Steve up and down. Steve knows it’s just Bucky checking him over, but the way Bucky’s eyes look over his body leaves Steve feeling warm all over.
“You’re looking good, Stevie. Filling out a bit.”
A blush creeps onto Steve’s face prompting him to make his escape to the kitchen, “Do you need something to drink or eat? You must be famished after all that travel. I’m sure there are some leftovers from your ma in here. Or we can call her. I know she will be so happy to see you.” Steve is babbling, he knows this, but he can’t seem to make his mouth stop moving. Bucky was just being kind, he didn’t mean the words the way Steve felt them. He needed to get himself under control.
“Or I could take my best friend for dinner,” Bucky offers tentatively. There’s the reminder Steve needs that their marriage and the ring on his finger is not real. “We can go see Ma and Becca tomorrow.”
Steve takes a deep breath before turning back to Bucky, “Dinner out sounds great. I bet you're dying for a decent slice.”
“Well, I was thinking we go to Angelo’s. Have a nice meal, you and me, and then I can walk you to midnight mass.”
“Ye-yeah, sure,” Steve feels like he is playing catch up with his emotions pinging all over the place. Angelo’s is a nice place. Like a nice place. The kind of restaurant an Alpha brings a date to. Steve looks down at his ratty, but warm sweatshirt and paint splattered jeans. “Let me get cleaned up right quick.”
Behind the closed door of his room, Steve takes a moment to get himself under control. Bucky is just playing up the loving mate taking his Omega out after a long absence. It means nothing. Bucky and Steve have been to dinner a million times. This will be nothing different.
Looking through his closet, Steve rationalizes that just because it’s all fake doesn’t mean he can’t show off a little. His nicer pair of trousers show off the slight curves of Steve’s hips. And there is the cobalt blue button down that he wore to the courthouse.
Ten minutes later, Steve feels a little proud of himself for taking the extra time to look just right after Bucky’s eyes widen and he gives a low whistle.
“Back acha,” Steve answers.
While Steve was getting ready, Bucky also changed and spruced up. The charcoal gray button up that always looked good on Bucky looks even better with him having bulked up some overseas. And he is wearing the black slacks that show off his amazing thighs.
The entire night was wonderful but confusing. While Bucky has never been an inconsiderate friend, there was something about how he treated Steve all night that left him perplexed. Helping Steve in and out of his jacket, offering his arm for Steve to take while they walked to Angelo’s, holding out Steve’s chair, being extra charming. Bucky was considerably attentive and not in the mother hen way. He even returned to the church at 1 in the morning, despite being exhausted, and walked Steve home from mass.
It left Steve feeling off-kilter as he got ready for bed. In the end, Steve wrote it off as Bucky was happy to be home and left it at that.
Since Sarah’s passing two years ago, Christmas has been a quiet affair for Steve. He would go to Mrs. Petterson’s for eggnog pancakes. They would exchange gifts, tell stories of the loved ones they missed during the holidays, and watch a couple of Christmas movies before Steve headed back to his place in the evening.
This year, he still goes to Mrs. Petterson’s for breakfast but leaves just after they exchange gifts, explaining that Bucky is home on leave. Mrs. Petterson beams, handing him a plate to take back, and playfully chides him for leaving his mate in bed alone on their first morning back together. The pancakes sit like lead in Steve’s stomach returning to his apartment thinking about how he has been lying to his friend.
Bucky is awake and looking adorably sleep rumpled when Steve returns. He makes gimmie hands when he sees the plate in Steve’s hands. “Pancakes in the mess hall are not too terrible if you put enough syrup on them. Been craving the good, homemade kind.”
At Angelo’s the night before, Bucky was well mannered, but at Winnie’s kitchen table that afternoon he wolfed down food like someone was going to take his plate from him. “I would ask if they are feeding you over there, but you’ve gotten all bulky. I’m guessing food is not all that good.”
Bucky swallows the mouth full of brisket before answering, “It’s not bad, just nowhere as good as this.”
“Well, slow down a little. You don’t want to give yourself a stomach ache. I have no doubt Steve has other plans than to take care of his sick mate tonight.”
Steve’s face bursts into flames at Winnie’s subtle innuendo. Bucky chuckles nervously but doesn’t say anything. Steve notices that Bucky eats the rest of the meal at a more sedate pace.
The rest of the afternoon only gets more awkward when Becca insists she needs a photo of Steve and Bucky kissing underneath the mistletoe sprig she tapped to the front door. “I think it will be a sweet photo you two can use for your holiday card next year.”
“Ye-yeah, that will be nice,” Bucky stammers out. Steve can only nod, afraid the truth, that there will be no holiday card next year since they will already be divorced, will burst from his lips if he were to open them.
As soon as Becca is ready with the camera, Bucky plants a quick peck on Steve’s lips.
“Bucket! Come on! That was lame. I don’t need you two to start sloppily making out, but that was just sad. Give your mate a real smooch.”
‘Fine, fine, Reebok. Excuse me for not wanting to be all weird in front of my ma and sister.”
Steve gives Bucky’s apologetic look a reassuring nod. Once again, Steve is thankful he wore the extra strength blockers and super absorbent underwear. He can feel the slick start to leak from his body as he remembers the last time he was treated to a romantic Bucky Barnes kiss at the courthouse.
But this kiss is not the courthouse kiss.
This time, Bucky pulls Steve by his hip into Bucky’s body, making Steve have to brace his hands on Bucky’s barreled chest. Bucky opens his mouth slightly as he covers Steve’s mouth with his own. The kiss is soft and a little wetter than the one inside the courthouse with just a hint of Bucky’s tongue briefly touching Steve's bottom lip. For a moment, Steve forgets they are not alone, that this is fake and will be done long before this time next year. At that moment, Steve is Bucky’s Omega. His mate. And Bucky is his.
Then, in a blink, it is over. Bucky pulls back and Steve feels cold without Bucky’s body heat.
“Awwww… you two look so sweet! You absolutely have to use this in your card next year!” Becca turns her phone around so they can see the photo.
If Steve didn’t know any better, he would swear they looked in love in that photo. But just like last time, Bucky was pretending.
They leave shortly after with excuses of Bucky having to get up at five in the morning to make his flight. On the train ride back, Bucky remains silent and Steve is thankful. He didn’t think he could carry on a conversation with his head in such a mess.
“I’m sorry about Becca, I should have stopped her from pushing us like that,” Bucky confesses as soon as they are home.
Steve’s body does something that is almost a shrug and almost a nod, “It’s fine, we should have expected something like that. It’s not like we haven’t kissed before.”
“Right, it’s just yanno, a kiss,” Bucky gives a small, odd sounding laugh. “No big deal. I could kiss you right now and it would be fine. Kissin’s not a big thing. It’s just, yanno…” Bucky steps into Steve’s space and lowers his head, “a kiss.”
It all happens in slow motion and yet, Steve feels powerless to stop it. Bucky keeps lowering his head slowly, giving Steve plenty of time to step back. Steve doesn’t step back, instead, he raises himself on his toes and meets Bucky the rest of the way.
They stand there for who knows how long in their little bubble, bodies barely touching, trading slight open mouth kisses. Steve lets his tongue occasionally touch Bucky’s lips, chancing any small taste he can get before it inevitably comes to an end. His head becomes light and Steve realizes he has forgotten to breathe. He doesn’t care. Oxygen doesn’t matter so much to him at the moment.
Bucky is the one to pull away again, but not before he briefly runs his nose along Steve’s jaw. Breathing in the scent of Steve’s arousal that lingers directly on the skin the blockers can mask. Steve panics at the thought that Bucky knows he’s turned on. He takes several steps back toward his room and wraps his arms around himself.
“It’s late and you’ve got an early flight,” he blurts out.
Bucky’s eyes are a little glassy, but another look Steve doesn’t recognize soon takes over. He clears his throat and backs away toward his room, “Yeah, you’re right. I should get some sleep.”
“I can go with you to the airport in the morning.”
Bucky continues his backward movement to his room like he can’t get away from Steve’s neediness fast enough. “No, it will be really early and cold. You stay in bed and I’ll call before I board, k?” Bucky turns and disappears into his room before Steve has a chance to answer.
Not wanting this to be how they say goodbye, Steve sets his alarm to get up at 4:45 so he can at least see Bucky off before he leaves the apartment. But he is too late. Bleary eyed, Steve finds Bucky’s note he left in the kitchen apologizing for rushing out so early. Explaining he needed to meet his field officer a little earlier to help with muster as the others in his unit arrived.
Steve goes back to bed, but can’t fall asleep. His worries that he drove his friend off plague him until Bucky calls a little over two hours later.
“I’m so happy I got to come home and see you, Stevie,” Bucky says quietly before they hang up. “I miss you so much already.”
“I miss you too. And it was the best Christmas present you could have given me.”
“Good. I’m really glad,” there were a few moments of comfortable silence before Bucky had to go. “I’ll talk to you soon.”
Steve hangs up and rolls over to his side, looking at the photo Becca sent of their mistletoe kiss, and wonders about that last kiss.