Work Text:
He loves me?
***
Jason couldn't tell when he started to feel something for Nico.
Their friendship started in an unexpected way, a difficult situation and a friendly shoulder to lean on. No judgment, no discomfort for a forced and out of control situation, just the certainty that, with everything that happened, Jason would stand by Nico.
With the war against Gaia over, and with Nico staying permanently in camp half blood - and even accepting his hug! -Jason took advantage of every free moment to spend with Nico. He had decided, after much internal conflict during the prophecy mission, that staying in the Greek camp was the right choice to make, the only choice that made him feel good and complete.
During the days when both camps maintained almost daily contact, remaking the bridge between them, the resentment and betrayal finally paid off and Jason dragged Nico through the various groups spread throughout the camp, reintroducing him to old campers and some newer ones.
It was a slow process, divided between Jason, Hazel and Will, but slowly he could notice the tension leaving Nico's shoulders, the fear of being feared or ignored by the campers slowly fading.
Jason knew that this fear would not be forgotten overnight, and that they would have moments where Nico would be sure he was hated; relapses where self-sabotage takes root and whispers lies in a velvety voice.
On some nights, Jason could notice the fear in his eyes, the need to flee through the shadows and retreat to a safe environment, away from everyone's eyes and ears.
In those moments, Jason would keep himself present as a small anchor. He would tell stories of when he was younger, of some embarrassing fight from when he was still learning to handle a sword. He shared a few bags of candy he had bought with Hermes' children, bringing a few small smiles to his friend's faces.
He felt proud of Nico when he saw him in the dining hall the next morning, more sure of his place among the other campers than before. During these times, he would leave him alone with Solace, introducing him to Apollo's children as if he belonged to them. It was delightful to see the shy smiles, the exchange of food around the table, the topics always including a comment or two from Nico.
Jason didn't know when he started falling in love, but he knew it was gradual.
What was once just being proud, now had traces of affection and tenderness; sporadic touches caused his skin to tingle; Nico's smiles directed at Jason made the butterflies in his stomach flutter, painting his cheeks in bright shades of red.
The nightly conversations in Cabin 13 grew feelings of shyness, of always being hyper-aware of everything Nico did: a gentle touch or his fingers running through his middle hair in an involuntary but very cute gesture; the pulling back of the left corner of his lip whenever he was about to say something sarcastic; the way he rolled his eyes affectionately when Jason said something stupid; when he woke up in the middle of the night in Nico's bed with a blanket over his body and the lights off.
Every moment with Nico took on shades of pink, and the world seemed to exist behind a bright new filter.
He didn't know that the feeling of being in love was so warm.
He even commented on it with Piper, some time after their mutual breakup. She smiled at him, kindly, as if she understood exactly what he was talking about. She was in a relationship with a human girl from her school, and seemed to glow in the same shades as Jason.
This euphoria lasted for weeks, a bubble of its own between Jason and Nico in their private conversations in the cabins or even in the cafeteria as they sat together at the same table.
That was until he began to notice the same glow in Nico, the same smitten brilliance, the same passionate presence when he was around Will.
It was a blow of cold water, the day he realized it. As he noticed William's affable glances, Nico's shy, embarrassed smile, avoiding eye contact at all costs; William's gentle laugh as he touched him on the shoulder and was not reprimanded.
Don't get him wrong, Jason didn't stop loving Nico just because there was no reciprocity. He always wanted his friends' happiness, never demanding anything in return, even if it meant seeing his best friend get into a troubled relationship with an immortal woman and travel the world, or ending a relationship with his girlfriend for noticing how unhappy she was.
Or to set Nico up with the boy he liked.
Jason didn't understand much about romance, but if simply being happy for the person he loved was one of the definitions of love, then maybe he knew a little.
Maybe it would stop hurting when he was through with it.
But he wasn't so sure about that.
***
The first thing Jason did to put his little plan into action — which had nothing but a fixed idea and a lot of determination — was suggesting that Nico accept Will's request to help in the Infirmary on a daily basis.
Nico stared at him blankly, raising his sword between them. They were on the training field in a friendly duel between both sons of the Big Three.
"And why would I accept this? I'm not good with people," he replied emphatically, stepping forward in a footwork to the left.
Jason defended himself, taking two steps away from Nico.
"Because then you would have more time to talk. Will spends more time in the infirmary than out," Jason explained, flicking his wrist absentmindedly, lowering his sword in a diagonal arc.
Nico raised his sword, blocking the attack. He frowned thoughtfully.
“We talk enough over lunch," Nico assured him, he looked genuinely confused.
Jason smiled uneasily. He didn't want to have to explain his motive or expose his friend in any way. Maybe Nico didn't want Jason to know about his crush after all.
He decided to change tactics.
“He just seemed to need a distraction. He's always with his brothers, it's good to have friends around to have different conversations." he summarized, putting away his sword when he noticed Nico's disinterest in continuing the fight.
Nico seemed surprised to hear this, and turned his gaze to the horizon. There was a slight blush on his face. Jason felt a bitterness in his mouth, but kept his smile unbroken. It hurt, but it wouldn't hurt for much longer.
Nico huffed, gesturing for them to get out of the training field. Jason followed him up the hill.
“I'll think about it.”
Jason smiled, nodding his agreement.
“Whatever makes you happy.”
That was all that mattered.
***
After that, whenever he could Jason would drag Will into whatever he was going to do with Nico: a game night, an outing into town, or even a canoe trip where he coincidentally had to cancel and go off to solve a problem, leaving the two of them alone on the lake.
Jason kept up this rhythm for days, acting as if including Will was something natural and simple, without hesitation, even when Nico expressed shock when Jason did.
Determined to take that as a good sign, he continued on in this pattern for days, oblivious to Nico's annoyed look and Will's confusion at all of these events.
***
Nico had started helping Will in the infirmary a few weeks after their conversation, spending most mornings in the company of Apollo's son.
Jason noticed him to be more active in the presence of Apollo's children. Chatting with Kayla and Austin, hanging out with Will's friends - Cecil and Lou Ellen, - and walking from one table to the next with a timid smile on his face.
He loved to see the way Nico came out of his shell a little, even more so with his weekly appointments with Mr. D. Having an adult to talk to about his problems seemed to have given him a little more confidence.
Jason remained distant and tried to convince himself that it was because he was busy, but deep down it was because watching those smiles being thrown in Will's direction was hurting a little.
He turned his back on the cafeteria, walking calmly towards the lake. The day was nice and brisk. Some Roman campers showed up for a night at the campfire that Piper and Hazel had organized. Nothing too big, but many curious people who did not participate in the war built up the courage to show up that day.
In the distance, he saw Hazel and Annabeth in a polite conversation as they organized the space for so many people, vaguely gesturing around. Jason waved from afar, continuing on his way towards the lake.
Beside him, popping up without making a single noise, was Piper. Jason smiled at his friend, leaning toward her when his arm was taken by her hand.
“Where are you going?”
“Just taking a walk.”
“Hm, are you?”
Jason smiled, but kept walking. Piper waved at several campers as she passed by, tugging him back and forth, prompting some amused laughter from Jason. He joined in on his friend's good humor, starting some conversations about Camp Jupiter, the changes they had after the war, how Frank had gotten used to it as Praetor.
The subjects went on for a long time, up to the point where they both threw themselves on the shores of the lake, tired and laughing their heads off.
He laid his head on his friend's shoulder, watching the still water and the nymphs on the distant rocks. There were no canoes on the water, giving the feeling of tranquility on the shore.
Piper sighed, stroking his hair softly.
“So... May I ask why you ran away from the cafeteria?”
Jason closed his eyes. He should have known Piper might notice something.
“I didn't run away, exactly.”
“Okay, so what exactly did you do?”
“Hm... Strategic retreat?”
Piper laughed, nudging Jason's head with her shoulder. Jason grinned, sitting up straight. He turned to Piper, seeing the sharp, intelligent look in her eyes, assessing him.
“Does this have something to do with Nico?”
Turning his gaze to the lake, Jason nodded:
“He's fine, isn't he?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, he seems more... cheerful. Less frightened.”
Piper leaned forward, searching his eyes. Jason turned his face in her direction.
“Yeah? And? Does that scare you?”
“No, I'm glad. Very much so.” assured Jason, with no hesitation. “But I don't want to get in the way.”
Piper quirked an eyebrow.
“Get in the way? I'm pretty sure you're the one who helped him to feel more at home. Believe me, most of us don't know how to interact with him," Piper confessed, dropping her shoulders. “He's nice, but I wouldn't call him a friend.”
Jason curled his lip, displeased. However, Piper carried on.
“Besides, weren't you fond of him? Why walk away now?”
And the question of millions. Jason could give a million answers, a million well-crafted half-baked excuses for not having to tell the truth, but Piper had that determined look in her eyes, as if deep down she already knew the answer, but wanted to hear Jason admit it out loud.
Piper was good at reading feelings, at understanding them before the person themselves. Maybe that was the main reason she suggested the breakup. Maybe, at some point before Jason, she realized that he didn't feel for her what he was compelled to believe.
In any case, there she was, willing to listen to his dilemmas.
“It hurts, being around him.”
Piper frowned, puzzled. Jason explained:
“Seeing him in love with Will.”
The change in Piper's expression was striking. From a confused expression, it turned into shock and then into a loud laugh. Her voice echoed around the waterfront, causing Jason to look around, worried that someone had overheard. Piper leaned towards him, using his shoulder for support as she lost her breath amidst her laughter.
Jason sighed.
“That wasn't even funny, you can stop now.”
Piper coughed a little, wiping her face with the back of her hand. There was an amused smile on her face, a twinkle in her kaleidoscopic eyes.
“No, it's just that you're too slow.”
Jason threw his hands in the air in disbelief.
"Slow? Me?”
“Yes, you! Since when does Nico like Will? “
“I don't know! But it's pretty obvious.”
Piper laughed again, in a more subdued way this time.
“Jason, Nico doesn't like Will that way”
“Believe whatever you want.”
Piper rolled her eyes, but leaned towards him.
“Okay, let's "assume" that he likes him, are you just going to let it go and do nothing?”
“What would I do, Pips?”
“I don't know, confess? Admit that you like him more than just as a friend?”
Jason shook his head in denial, dismissing the idea.
“I don't think he would feel comfortable if I did that, I mean, I've slept in his room several times. Maybe he thinks I did it with bad intentions.”
“Oh?” Piper cocked an eyebrow, amused. “You did?”
“Of course not, Pips!”
“Then you're just making up excuses. I know it's scary, believe me, confessing to Shel was terrifying, but it all worked out.” Piper assured him, resting her hand on his shoulder in an encouraging manner, "Instead of running away, why don't you try to demonstrate?"
Jason frowned, but didn't say anything else. He would never have the courage to confess knowing that Nico liked someone else, he would hate to make him uncomfortable or confused. Jason would give Nico what he needed most.
And, from the beginning, it was a friend he needed the most.
So, even with Piper's encouragement, Jason would continue to avoid him as he tried to subtly bring them together.
In the end, only he would get hurt.
There was no better outcome than that.
***
Nico caught up with him on the way to the campfire later that day.
He was coming from the cabin area, wearing the camp t-shirt dyed black instead of orange. Jason didn't know he had a choice of different colors besides orange, but it would probably be far more shocking to see Nico wearing neon colors than to magically create one in black.
He smiled at Jason, motioning with his head for Jason to follow him to the campfire. Jason joined him immediately, feeling his chest grow warm with his very presence. He smiled broadly, fixing his glasses as they walked.
“Where were you all day?” asked Nico, curious.
Jason gestured toward the lake.
“I was with Piper. She dragged me around the campground to talk to everyone before I managed to escape to the lake.”
Nico let out an indignant laugh and shook his head.
“Good thing I wasn't with her.”
Jason grinned wickedly.
“Piper will be at the bonfire.”
Nico stared at him, frowning.
“Don't give her any ideas.”
Jason held up his hands in surrender.
“I wouldn't dare.”
Nico snorted, but a smile remained on his face all the way to the bonfire.
There were more people than Jason anticipated. In addition to a few Romans - most he didn't know much about - there were some visiting Greeks. It was school season, so many would be away with their families for the entire school year. Percy was one of them, staying the night before returning home with Annabeth.
He saw Reyna in the distance, waving at her distractedly. She was talking to Piper, smiling amiably at him before turning her gaze back to her friend.
“There's a place over there," Nico pointed, walking in that direction. Jason followed him, sitting down next to Nico on the grass, near one of the bonfires. Around it were some of Apollo's children, playing random music while they hummed, their voices echoing comfortably around them.
Nico leaned his hands back on the grass, enjoying the serenity of the night. Jason watched him in the half light of the fire, the way his hair glowed in shades of copper, the caramel of his eyes a beautiful hazel tone, similar to Hazel's. There, relaxed beside him, Nico looked content, almost vibrant.
The sight left him momentarily fascinated.
Nico tilted his head in his direction, absently.
“You're staring, Jason.”
Jason looked away, blushing brightly. He had been too distracted.
He heard Nico's low laugh, his shoulder leaning lightly against his own. Jason felt his heart skip a beat.
“Is there something you want to tell me?”
With this question the whole conversation with Piper came back to the surface. Should he say something? Even though he didn't feel confident, a selfish part of him wondered what would happen if he told him, if Nico's pleased expression would stay; if it would be reciprocated.
He turned his face to Nico who was watching him intently. There was no confusion or impatience, just his friend's calm gaze, encouraging him. Jason smiled at him.
“Nico, I—”
“Nico! Jason!” Will called out to them, approaching the fire where they were standing. His brothers greeted him, beaming.
Suddenly the little spell was broken. Jason stepped away, standing up from the grass. Nico jumped in place, startled by the sudden movement.
“Hi Will! I have to go talk to Piper, you can sit here.”
“Jason—”
Nico tried to call out to him, but Jason hurried away, the pounding in his chest making him gasp as he walked away from the campfires.
He didn't look back, even though he really wanted to.
But if he had, he would have seen the way Nico stood up to follow him, or the desolate look on his face as he realized Jason didn't want to be followed.
But he didn't look.
***
The days that followed were... difficult.
Nico was avoiding him, that was obvious. Not only him, but the entire Apollo cabin seemed distant from the son of Jupiter.
He couldn't tell if he had done something wrong, but it hurt him more than he thought.
After the third day, Jason decided that he would spend some time in Nova Roma. He missed his old home, even though Camp Half-Blood was exactly what he had always wanted. Besides, visiting friends was the best part of both camps' friendship.
He would be back in a few days. Who knows, maybe by then things would settle down. He warned Piper about his decision, and asked her to pass it on to Nico in case he asked about him.
He packed his bags as neatly as he could, trying to keep it simple and objective, for only a few days of traveling.
Before he finished, however, Nico stormed into his cabin.
There was a strange expression on his face, too complicated for Jason to grasp. He walked towards Jason, looking from the suitcase on his bed to his face. This seemed to annoy him even more.
“Where are you going?” That question sounded like an accusation, a bitter, poisonous thing.
Jason shifted on his heel, uncomfortable.
“I'm going to visit some people in New Rome. I haven't been there for a few months." Jason said, looking away in avoidance.
He continued to pack his bag, but Nico took the shirt from his hands, forcing Jason to face him.
“You're running away!” Nico said incredulously, as if he had never imagined Jason doing something like this.
A pity, because Jason was that kind of person when it came to relationships. A war? He went headlong into it. A battle? He was always prepared. His feelings? Ah, he didn't have a good relationship with those.
“Yeah, maybe I am.”
Nico snorted, distraught.
‘Why? Did I do something?” Nico asked, the thread of sadness in his voice made Jason puzzled, but he quickly denied it.
“Of course not! I'm not running away from you!”
Nico shook his head, running a hand through his hair, disturbed.
“Yes, you are! In fact you've been avoiding me for days, Jason, days! ” Nico exclaimed, a hint of exasperation in his voice.
“Nico—”
“Every time we do something you avoid being alone with me, so clearly I did something!” He remarked, pointing to himself. "Am I bothering you? Why won't you be alone with me anymore?”
Jason froze, in shock.
Did Nico believe that he didn't like being alone with him? That he was annoyed with him? This was so far from the truth that it was almost comical. Maybe he would have laughed at the situation if Nico wasn't so scared.
By the gods, Nico was terrified!
Jason moved closer, trying to sound gentle. His chest tightened, but the truth was the only thing that would soothe his friend.
“I like you," Jason confessed, feeling his throat tighten at the admission. Nico froze, with no reaction. “I like you, Nico, and I don't know what to do with that feeling.”
Nico dropped his shoulders, much of the tension leaking through his skin. He creased his brow.
“I don't understand.”
Jason laughed, humorlessly.
“It's painful, you know. I'm happy for you, don't get me wrong, but it still hurts.”
Nico looked even more confused and a little worried.
“Hurts? Jason, I really don't understand what the problem here is.”
“I like you and knowing that you like Will hurts.” he finally admitted, sighing. He felt horrible for saying this, but it was the absolute truth.
Nico gasped.
“What the— Jason!”
“I know it's horrible for me to say this, but it's true. I've tried to accept it, I've tried to help, but it's still painful”
-”Wait, that's what you were doing—”
“And I'm sorry for putting you in that situation.” Jason continued to speak, bordering on the hysteria. “And you've been avoiding me so I figured you must have realized because I have been so obvious at the bonfire—”
“JASON!”
Jason stopped talking, watching Nico with trepidation.
Nico took a deep breath, and approached Jason. A little hesitantly, he held his friend's arms, keeping intense eye contact. Jason swallowed dryly, breathless.
“Why didn't you tell me before?” Nico questioned, his tone soft and low. Jason pressed his lips together, unsure of what to say.
“I was afraid I might scare you.”
Nico frowned.
“Jay... You don't scare me. I don't know where you get that from.”
Jason looked away, embarrassed.
“You are still learning to deal with your feelings, I didn't want you to have to worry about mine too.”
A short silence settled between the two of them before Nico sighed.
“Jason, look at me.”
The son of Jupiter faltered, but looked at his friend again, afraid to see something on his face that would turn him away. Sadness, frustration, anything.
But there was only a soft smile.
“For someone so smart, you're very impulsive.”
Jason blinked, not quite understanding.
“Impulsive?”
Nico cocked his eyebrow emphatically.
“Jason, you just assumed that I liked Will because we got along and decided to run away instead of talking to me about it.” Nico laughed incredulously. “Running away is my thing, you can't go around imitating me.”
Jason smiled thinly.
“I don't handle feelings like that very well, I never knew.”
Nico inclined his head, sympathetic.
“I don't do either, so I thought we could figure it out together.”
Jason opened his mouth, but didn't know what to say. Together?
Nico smiled, raising his right hand and stroking Jason's cheek with his thumb. Jason remained silent, paralyzed, afraid to break the fragile moment between them.
“I was upset with you, with this whole situation of inviting Will into everything, pushing me towards him as if my presence was not welcome.” Nico shook his head in disbelief. “That night at the bonfire, I thought we were on the same page, but you pushed me towards Will again, and I didn't know how to handle it anymore. Will noticed. He noticed my feelings before I did, and when you started setting up dates with the three of us, he was just as confused as I was.” Nico spoke up, taking a deep breath. “After the bonfire he got... angry . Everyone in Apollo's Cabin, actually. We kind of assumed that you had figured it out and were avoiding me.”
Jason cut him off:
“Figured out what?”
Nico laughed, flashing a wide smile.
“That you had figured out that I like you.”
Jason's eyes went wide, shocked, again not knowing what to say. Nico seemed to find this amusing, gently fixing his glasses, a calm smile on his face.
“I'm glad you didn't notice. Because I can tell you myself," Nico took a deep breath, looking him in the eye.
There was a blush on Nico's face that intensified as they maintained eye contact. Jason felt his face heat up just as quickly, the butterflies in his stomach completely unhinged.
“Jason, I like you, I have for a while now. And I... I didn't know how to tell you, so I could only talk about it with Will. Maybe you misunderstood because of that, but... I don't have anything with Will. But I'd like to have something with you.”
Jason took a deep breath, opening up a huge smile. Nico let out a breath, relaxed by Jason's reaction. Before he could say anything, Jason pulled him into a hug, wrapping his waist in an almost too intense grip.
Nico returned the gesture, stroking his hair gently.
“I guess I got it all wrong.”
Nico laughed, nuzzling his head against his shoulder.
“You think so? You almost gave me a heart attack when Piper told me you were going back to New Rome.”
“It was a desperate move," he admitted, releasing him.
Nico rolled his eyes.
“You tell me.”
The blush was still on Nico's face, but there was a calmness in his expression that turned the redness into something gently beautiful.
Jason lifted his hand, stroking the apple of his cheek with his thumb, completely smitten.
“I'm in love with you," he admitted finally, more strongly this time.
Nico blushed even more.
“Now I know that.” he admitted, shyly.
Jason smiled, pleased.
“Good, because I intend to say it all the time from now on.”
Nico shook his head, resigned.
“You are terrible.”
“Just a little slow.”
Nico laughed, moving closer to Jason, looking down from his eyes to his lips with interest. His heart felt like it would burst out of his chest at such a rapid pace.
“Jay...can I…”
“Please.”
Hesitantly, they moved closer to each other, tilting their faces close in a gentle touch of shy lips. Jason closed his eyes, caressing Nico's face lightly.
As if encouraged by this, Nico wrapped both arms around his neck, pulling him down tighter, turning his face into a better position, turning the kiss into something more intense.
The tightness in his chest disappeared, letting himself be carried away in the euphoria that buzzed in his ears, in the warmth of Nico's body glued to his, in the softness of his curious and delicate lips.
And in the back of his mind, he was grateful to be someone's first choice and to be able to give it to them.
To be able to try to love someone and be loved back.