Chapter Text
Ever since Lance was a little kid he always knew something felt off about his life. He always felt uncomfortable in his own skin and hated his name, Evelynn, such a proper name fit for a daughter of a nobleman and leader of the trading guild. It's definitely a cute name, one befitting someone with proper grace and class (not to say Lance doesn't have grace and class), it just isn’t the name befitting of him.
Lance was always surrounded by brothers, all his siblings were born boys except for him which always made him feel like the odd one out. He would constantly be left out of the games his brothers would play, not allowed to join in on the many fights they would inevitably get into. No, instead Lance would have to sit inside all day learning about the ways of society and the knowledge necessary to become a proper wife someday. He would often look out the window of the library they would often have him caged in and see his brothers practicing sword fighting, or hand to hand combat, or even just them chasing each other around, and would stare in longing to be with them. He didn’t choose this life, he didn’t want to just be married off someday, most likely way too young for his liking, he just wanted to do all the things his brothers were allowed to do.
As Lance grew up he started to understand why he always felt so out of place, why he felt like he was a bystander experiencing the life of a girl he didn’t know. As he started to learn about the more, ahem, intimate learnings of becoming a noblemen’s wife was when he found out about people in their society who were able to change the way they dressed, the way they presented themselves, the way they created new names. He suddenly felt seen and heard and understood all at once. As he began to learn more about the ability to change one’s identity and self expression he began asking his mother more and more questions about how to actually put this new way of living into action. He then learned the harsh and unfortunate reality of living within this world.
“Those who choose to transition in any degree must keep their same status within society. They cannot simply cast away the burdens and responsibilities they must uphold by choosing a new way of life. They must legally be recognized as the gender they were given at birth in matters pertaining to social status within society, including the jobs and marital rights chosen by the families of the individual. They can, however, be legally recognized as their chosen gender in matters pertaining to legal name and title changes (one cannot change their last name unless married), and legal gender changes for documentation purposes. By all rights and purposes, if the individual chooses to transition, they will henceforth be recognized by their chosen gender and will be protected under law.” That was what the law book said.
Lance was crushed. So he could be recognized, both by the people around him and legally as a man, but he could not change his fate of someday being married off to whoever his father deemed necessary. What kind of fucked up person who wrote these stupid rules thought that people would transition just for the fact that they thought it would give them a better life. It was so fucking stupid. Lance just wanted to feel like himself in his own skin and to be able to join his brothers in helping out with the guild. Yeah, he didn’t want to be used as a piece of property to be sold off to whichever noblemen thought he was worth a pretty penny, but that didn’t mean he wanted to be recognized as a boy solely because he didn’t want to have that kind of life.
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Thanks to his caring, compassionate, understanding mother, he was able to come to terms with this fact of his life. She was the one who kept encouraging him to start his journey in transitioning, to see what made him feel more comfortable, more himself. And when he turned 16, she was the one who supported him and made him feel brave enough to tell his father. He was furious that day. Lance can still remember his exact words he shouted at Lance while beating his mother: “HOW DARE YOU GO AGAINST ME LIKE THIS!! NOW HOW AM i SUPPOSED TO FIND A SUITABLE HUSBAND FOR YOU?!? NO RESPECTABLE NOBLEMAN WILL WANT TO WED AND BED A FREAK LIKE YOU! YOU HAVE RUINED ME!!!”
That night at dinner Lance’s mother was still in bed recovering and been seen for her extensive injuries that she sustained by his father’s hand. After dinner, his father dragged him into the forever recognizable cellar with his younger brother, Marco; forced to watch as his father then beat his brother for over an hour, all the while being reminded that this was his fault.
Two days after that day, when his mother’s injuries had healed enough for her to be able to go out in town without becoming extremely weak (but still looking extremely worse for wear), she took Lance to the nearest town hall and helped him file for a legal name and gender change with a forged letter from her husband giving his consent.
Three days after that day, a letter arrived at the house explaining that Lance’s name and gender change had been accepted. Thankfully Lance’s mother was able to intercept that letter before his father so he would not know.
A week after that day, Lance was told to get dressed in a big ball gown that was laid out by his maid and was shoved into a carriage. He was then led up a staircase where he was told to stand there and be quiet by his father. His father then had a conversation and negotiation with the man before them (who had to be at least 60 years old) about the price he would get for selling Lance into a marriage. From that day on Lance would be living with the man as his wife.
The man was nice and thankfully never forced Lance into doing any sexual, he simply treated Lance as another house servant.
Two weeks after living with his now husband, the man died.
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Two days after his husband’s funeral Lance’s mom found him. She had grabbed him before his father had a chance to do anything and ran away.
For two years Lance lived in a small one bedroom apartment with his mother. He was able to dress how he wanted and express himself in any way he wanted. He was finally able to cut his hair into a shorter style as his father made him grow his hair out his whole life. He got a nice clean shave on the sides while leaving lots of volume at the top. An elegant cut that accentuated the natural curls of his chestnut brown hair. Both of them were able to work at the bakery below the apartment. After two years Lance’s mother began falling ill. He could not figure out what was wrong with her or how to help her. He called in doctor’s who also did not know what she had or how to treat her. Most of the time his mother was on bed rest as she had become too weak to do much else and after a few months she had passed. His mother’s death hit Lance extremely hard and made it difficult for him to be able to work. It was during this time when he was struggling to cope with her death and also trying to find another job to pay for the apartment that his father had found him.
Lance’s father took Lance back to the house after that and decided to finally start coming to terms with his transition after he found out that Lance had legally changed his name and gender. He began buying Lance proper gentlemen’s clothes once he realized that he would have to present Lance as a man if he wanted to have a legal marriage. He would still call Lance by his dead name and gender when at home but would actually refer to his now legal name and gender when they would be out in public. He let Lance keep his hair short rather than forcing him to grow it out.
A few months later, Lance’s father found another man he could sell Lance off to; one that was willing to be married to another man. By this point, Lance was of 18 years old and was starting to accept that these men might want to have sex with him. His second husband was in his late 20’s but was kind. He wasn’t attractive, but he also wasn’t ugly, just plain ol’ average for a man. He had sex with Lance twice the entire time they were married and it was overall just an okay experience. If anything it was more uncomfortable for him than pleasurable. As far as firsts go it wasn’t the worst thing Lance had ever experienced but he wouldn’t say that he would try to seek out the experience. If his husband wanted to do it fine, but otherwise Lance was content with never doing that again.
Lance was with his new husband an entire two months this time instead of two weeks before this husband too, had passed. It was at this husband’s funeral that Lance’s father notified him that this time he was going to make sure Lance would marry a duke.