Work Text:
Ava knew pursuing a sixty year old, repressed, deeply churched woman was going to be an uphill battle. To have made it this far she felt like she’d won the last qualifying spot for the Olympics.
Everyone at Abbott Elementary thinks Ava is inept and flighty, and that belief worked well for her. But she desperately needed someone to talk to about Barbara. They have been doing whatever it is they are doing for two months now. This mostly included spending time at Ava’s home. They’ve shared a few chaste kisses but nothing more, and even though they shared that first breakfast, Barbara refused to go out in public for anything other than getting from point A to point B.
What was more confusing was that their relationship within the four walls of Abbott was stronger than ever; it was as if Barbara had decided that because Abbott was the place where they fell in love, it would be the place they were at their best.
But only as close colleagues and friends.
Ava had tried talking to some of her closer sorors and friends about this situation she has found herself in, but they were firmly on the side of not engaging. They could not see any good coming from it and wanted Ava completely out of the situation. Melissa Schemmanti was Barbara’s best friend and to go to her would’ve felt like violating something. Ava also doesn’t trust Janine, Jacob, or Gregory by extension; they can’t hold a drop of water between them.
Ava found herself sitting in her office after hours feeling deflated. She’d asked Barbara earlier in the day to accompany her to dinner with some old college friends– something casual, just work colleagues who’ve gotten close, enjoying a meal with other people.
Barbara looked at Ava as if she’d grown a second head, and then in a split second, Ava saw the moment the lie Barbara spoke formulated in her eyes: “Gerald is off and I promised him we’d do something together.” Ava tried her best to hide her disappointment and simply nodded before she left Barbara’s classroom.
There was a soft knock on her door frame and Ava looked up to see Melissa standing before her. With a puzzled look at the clock that read “6:30 p.m” Ava said, “I thought I saw you leave. What are you doing here?”
“I was headed over to the carryout to pick up dinner when I saw your car still in the parking lot. Thought the school might be on fire since I’ve never seen you here for more than 5 minutes after the final bell rings,” Melissa replied, with a smirk.
When Ava didn’t even roll her eyes at the quip, Melissa sighed heavily and took a seat across from her. Ava watched as Melissa hesitated to speak at first, but then she took a deep breath, leaned back in the chair, and started talking to the wall directly behind Ava’s shoulder.
“Loving her can be one of the scariest things you’ll do. She lights up the world while cowering in darkness and it makes you want to pull your hair out.” Ava just stared back, not moving, too afraid of what would come next.
“Thirty years ago, we met right there” she turned and pointed just past the front desk, “in that hallway and it was love at first sight. How could it not be with Barb?”
Melissa briefly looked at Ava with a watery smile, “Twenty-five years ago, I vowed to myself that I would love that woman until I draw my last breath, but I could not and would not love her more than she loves herself.”
“Something changed two months ago. Barbara’s lighter. She’s floating around here like she was after she had her daughters. She’s happy. She feels as safe as she can, and I know that’s because of you.”
Melissa paused and looked over to see Ava quietly wiping tears from her cheek. She leaned forward, placed her hand on Ava’s wrist, and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“Until the Gerald issue is resolved in a real way, she’s only ever going to be lighter, never free. Lighter still comes with a lot of sharp edges and lies that she thinks protect her. You have to decide for yourself if you can live with her lighter until she chooses her freedom.”
Ava remained silent. She hasn’t had one ally she could rely on and finally found someone she could parse this through with. Of course, it would be the other woman at Abbott Elementary that had fallen under Barbara Howard’s spell. Ava thought that she could be ok with Melissa Ann Schemmenti being her lifeline.
“Hold Barbara accountable for what you can but,” Melissa's eyes became steely as she tapped the desk with her finger- “you knew exactly what you were choosing when you decided she was it. You knew her relationship status, knew her Top 5 Biggest Hangups, and you still went knocking. You truly need to spend some time thinking about what you want from this and if it’s something that you want to navigate.”
Ava looked at her solemnly “I don’t think I could walk away if I wanted to.”
Melissa smiled at her sympathetically, “Then I think we have at least one answer. Going through this alone was hell and I don’t want that for you or her. She deserves the love she wants, even if she doesn’t know how to fight for it. Given my unique perspective, I’m happy to be a sounding board or just shoulder whenever you need it.”
Ava found herself without words for the kind gesture, and simply said, “Thank you, Melissa.”
Melissa gathered herself from the chair and moved to head out. When she reached the doorframe, she turned back and shrugged, “She loves you. She may be able to deny a lot of things, but her eyes tell her truth and she can’t stop them from shining every time you enter a room. I always thought that when this day came I’d be spitting fire with jealousy. But I just want her happy and if you’re the cause of that, I’ll be your biggest champion.”
Ava looked to the only other person she knew loved Barbara as much as her and felt the heaviness she was feeling earlier dissipate.
With a chuckle, Ava stood to gather her things to head to her own planned dinner, “The two of us teaming up like Gay Avengers? Barbara Howard won’t know what hit her.”