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The screams. The screams haunt him. Isabel. Farlan. Petra. Gunther. Eld. Oluo. All of them. Gone. As if they never existed. But he's still here. Why is he still here? It makes no sense. It's not fair. Levi didn't ask for this, didn't beg life to survive the cruelest encounter he could ever have with any creature.
A damn kraken. Gigantic. A monster hidden by the sea. He must have steered his ship too close to its cave. Or maybe it was on the prowl, hunting, searching for something Levi doesn't understand. Perhaps it tried to find a mate. He scoffs. As if it matters. As if there's any fucked up reason nature could spit up that would justify losing everyone he loves.
He's the freaking captain. He should’ve gone down with the ship. It's Levi who's supposed to dissolve in kraken stomach acid—but in some horrible twist of fate, Levi was inside the ship when the monster slithered along the surface and plucked his friends, his crewmates—his family, for fuck's sake—off the deck. Their screams echoed off the damp wood. And he was stuck on the latrine.
How often had he talked about shit? So when the others started shrieking, Levi couldn't have known. How was he supposed to figure out it wasn't just a joke? The ship didn't dip. Water didn't slosh as waves tried to swallow them.
No.
The kraken rose out of the sea and snagged Levi’s crew, one after the other. Or two and three at a time? How’s he supposed to know? He wasn't fucking there—even though he should have been!
Levi only clued in when the scream disappeared. Did the kraken play with his friends while Levi pulled up his pants? Did they wonder where he was? Sure, when they became pirates, the crew understood they'd most likely die a gruesome death. But … Why did it have to be like this? And why was Levi still here?
The monster didn't even shatter their ship. His ship. When Levi resurfaced to an empty deck, all he caught was the giant sinking into the sea. Noiselessly. As if it wasn't responsible for Levi’s loss. As if it hadn't just uprooted Levi's entire world with one attack.
If only he were dead too.
What now? What's a pirate without a crew? Even more importantly, what's a man without his friends? Those people gave him purpose. Fuck.
Fuck!
Levi's body curls over the wood railing, a small barrier between him and the now silent ocean. Maybe, if he were to just …
His head’s so scrambled, twisting like a whirlpool, it takes Levi a while to register the sound dancing across the rippling water. A melody so gentle and kind and soft, the hair on the back of his neck raises. Something so beautiful, it shouldn't be heard.
Something … ethereal.
Levi's eyes slip closed. What does he have left to lose? Nothing. Not a single damn thing. The ship, maybe, but he can't operate it properly on his own, anyway. He could enlist a new crew. But it wouldn't be the same. Nothing will ever be the same again. So Levi allows his feet to guide him to the bow, following the song, well aware it'll lead to his death.
Levi bumps into the railing and against his better judgement, opens his eyes. There. A creature nearby, slinking through the waves almost playfully. Levi can't spot wings, other kinds of feathers, or bird legs, so it’s not a siren. Which only leaves …
He gasps when his gaze lands on the mermaid's face. Or rather, merman's. Levi couldn't tell by the voice alone, their singing’s impossible to compare to anything else, but … that's not a mer-girl. Even the long, brown, curling locks can't conceal his strong jaw and the most viridian irises Levi's ever seen.
Once the boy notices Levi in return, he perks up. He looks young, but comparing mermaids to humans is stupid. That boy could be hundreds of years old.
"Oi!" What possessed him to talk to the creature? Levi will never know. "What’re you singing for?"
Maybe he's lonely and that’s why Levi gives the conversation a chance. His sorrows drown him, after all. Is a merman really the worst company Levi could have? If the boy pulls him under, at least his death will be quick. That's the only thing Levi has left to hope for. They’re too far away from civilization to get help—and under his skull and bones flag, no one would help him anyway.
Besides, what does it matter if Levi dies? He didn't make any promises. Should be allowed to go out on his own terms. Even if his friends couldn’t.
The merman cocks his head. "I'm singing for you. Isn't it obvious?" He smiles. What a stunner. Teeth sharp and eyes full with life. He should be able to end Levi without any struggle.
Without worry, Levi leans over the railing. "And what’re you trying to do?"
"Come into the water and find out. Bring your mates. We can all have a little fun together!"
"Slutty." Levi can't help but smirk, even if it’s bitter. But then the loss of his crewmates settles in again. He straightens back up and looks around. "It's just … it's just me. I'm the last one."
"The last human?" The merman frowns, lifts his tail out of the water and flops it onto the surface. It's as beautiful and perfect as his eyes. "Where did they go?"
"No." Levi shakes his head. The situation is absurd. "No. Not the last human. Just … the last of my crew."
The merman stiffens for a moment. Then, his tail starts jerking, adding ripples to the waves. "What happened to the rest?"
"Shouldn't you be singing?"
"Shouldn't you be dead?"
They stare at each other, no hint of the ethereal melody left between them, only agitation. Why does the merman care? Does he consider Levi a coward? Maybe believes he ran away?
Levi balls his fists and stares into seaweed eyes. Are they darker now? "They were attacked while I was … incapacitated."
"I don't see any signs of damage."
What the fuck?
"They're gone! It's … god damn it! You don't understand. You can't understand!"
The boy raises a brow, face now a mask of distaste. "Why not?"
"You don't have a crew!"
"I have a family!"
What's going on? Why is Levi arguing with someone—something!—that's half fish? "Fucking drown me already. I'll come into the water."
"Why?"
"I should have sunk with this ship!" Levi talks with his hands. Why is it so complicated to get murdered? “So what difference does it make?!” Everything. It would change everything. End everything. Exactly as he needs it to.
The merman growls. Maybe Levi ruined his fun by being a willing victim? "What about your crew?"
"I told you! They’re dead!"
"Are you sure they didn't just leave you? You're pretty unpleasant company!"
Levi gapes, then glares. "Fuck you! I'm—A kraken dragged them off! I saw it!"
It’s enough to earn a hiss. Something so … strange, so otherworldly. "A kraken?" Blue curls up the boy's neck, wraps around his throat like a murderous grip—but no, it's just his skin changing color. For a moment, he seems listless as he swims, tail splashing. Then he stills. "And you?"
"I was—"
"Did you fight it?" His eyes lighten, almost gold now. What is this creature?
"I …" Levi blinks. He's fought. Oh, he's fought so many battles in his life. But he'd been unable to do something when it mattered. Because fate is fucking cruel. "I didn't."
The boy's eyes harden again, turn some shade of red, then bronze. "Why?"
Wasn't the merman trying to lure Levi to his death? Levi even wanted it! So why are they still talking? Why are they delaying the inevitable? The end of his suffering and the merman’s desire? "I couldn't."
"But you want to?"
"I—"
"You seem strong." The creature presses the words out as if they irritate his vocal cords.
Levi pauses. He is. He i s strong. Always has been. He’s always worked hard to continue being strong—more than just hardened or fast or relentless. More than physically powerful. It might be stupid to face a kraken on his own, but shouldn't he at least try? Die battling like his crewmates? He swallows. "I'm more than capable of holding myself in a fight."
"Are you a coward, then?"
"No!" Levi's throat burns as he screams, unable to keep his voice down. How can he when confronted with such a horrid accusation? "I'm not a coward. I'm not weak, and I’ll—"
"Get into the water." The merman rolls over, exposing his belly like a puppy that wants to play. "You’ll get into the water."
Levi stares, mouth half-open as he tries to come up with some sort of clever answer. But despite usually being quick on his toes, all he manages is another resounding "No!"
"Yes." The merman smiles and rolls around, once, twice, and beckons Levi. "Get into the water."
"No, I won't …" What's going on? Levi wanted it a moment ago. And why is the merman smiling? Calling for him, now of all times? Now that Levi’s somehow decided he wants to live?
"Yes you will. I have what you want."
"I'm not interested in—"
"Revenge?" His eyes light up as if someone ignited the embers within them.
What? Well. Yeah. But no! Levi is interested in revenge, wants it desperately, but … He takes a deep breath, looks left and right. "You have nothing to offer me, merman. I'm on a ship. I can hunt the kraken without your help."
"Really?" The boy has the audacity to snicker. "And pray tell, human, where would you go looking?" Levi's floored. Where the fuck would he go? "I know where the kraken lives. Come into the water. I'll show you." He giggles, eyes shifting back to a turquoise hue as he seems to let go of whatever angered him before.
"You're going to kill me."
"The kraken will kill you if you leave to hunt him."
Well. There's nothing he can say to that. The merman is right. Probably. And yet … the idea of going out without a fight, now that the idea of fighting is an option at all, seems wrong. Would be an insult to the lives lost, to the shattered heart lying broken in his chest. "All I need is a chance. I don't know what the right way is, but I believe I’ll—"
"You're boring." The merman yawns, exaggerated by a stretch. His gills flutter, and Levi’s gaze follows the movement. "What's your name?"
"What's your name?" Damn it, the little beast seems to be manipulating him somehow. There's no other explanation as to why Levi can't talk and think like an adult anymore.
"I'm Eren." He tosses a part of his hair, but it only splats against his back. "Now you."
"I'm not telling you my name!"
"Why not?" Eren drawls and circles lazily through the water. "I'm going to kill you anyway, didn't you say so?" His tone is playful and Levi swallows. "Come into the water."
"No, I …"
"Come. Into. The. Water."
He's heard of siren songs and mermaid lullabies, but this one is more or less just yelling at him. What the fuck? "I don't want—"
"JUMP INTO THE WATER!"
Levi's muscles jerk into motion. He climbs the railing, hops off, and with a mighty splash, he's eye to eye with Eren, floating together. Icy shock shoots through him and he gasps for breath, even though his head is above the water. Why did he do that? Next to him, Levi's ship towers, but … it's impossible to climb back up from where he's landed. Why would he jump?! His legs are already lead weights as the water chills his body.
Panicked eyes zero in on a beaming face. "Hello, beautiful." Too close. Too dangerous. From here, Levi can nearly count the needle-sharp teeth. "Now, what's your name?"
No. Levi shakes his head, but Eren simply shrugs. With a quick flick of his fins, he's next to Levi. A second later, slippery scales curl around Levi's stiffening body as Eren winds his tail around him. What's going on? Oh. He has an idea. But is this real? Can this actually be happening?
"You'll tell me. One day, you'll tell me." Eren grins and places large, webbed hands on Levi's cheeks. "Until then, don't be shy."
He’s yanked forward. Or his face is, at least. The rest of his body remains trapped in Eren's death grip. And they kiss. Cold, wet lips press to his, firm and needy.
Levi's head might explode. He gasps again, but Eren's jaw locks and he pressed further forward, insistent, demanding. His tongue pries Levi's lips open with brute force, then he whispers, "Don't fuck this up for either of us. Keep your mouth on mine." A second later, he's on Levi again.
It's too much. It's all far too much. A kraken and a merman in one day. And now? Now Levi will die, just after he’s found his hope. His task. His calling.
Eren reaches up and pinches his nose. How strange and kind of stupid—until Levi is freed from the large tail and the thing flicks a few times. But not from happiness, he belatedly realizes.
No.
Eren’s dragging him under!
First, water splashes, but soon enough, Eren has sufficient momentum to pull them both entirely beneath the surface. His strong arms don't let go of Levi, and the hold on his nose remains.
What now? The sea closes above their heads. Levi only has so much air left and he's panting it into the mouth of the man who's trying to murder him! But his body is locked up, both from cold and shock, so he can't even do anything.
He promised he would.
Said he would fight—for Isabel and Farlan. For Petra. For Gunther and Eld. For Oluo.
There's nothing he can do now, though. A creature much stronger than he is dragging him under, and although earlier that day Levi accepted death as an old, welcome friend … now as he sinks deeper and deeper to the ocean floor, the only thing he can think about is fighting.
Living.
Revenge for those he loved.
Loves.
Levi's so caught up in his thoughts, it takes him a while to figure out something's wrong. Something other than Eren drowning him. Because that's just it, isn't it? He's still … breathing.
And that's when his brain catches up—they’re pressed into a kiss, mouths sealed against the water. Eren has gills. He's breathing for them both!
Why? Is Eren trying to show him where the kraken lives? He squeezes the merman's hand to signal, yes, okay, I understand. You're not trying to kill me. Eren lets go of his nose and his eyes fill with something new. If Levi didn't know better, he'd call it adoration.
Just when he thinks he’s figured the situation out, Eren pulls his head back. Smiles. And Levi, trying to breathe in like he did before, swallows water. Startled, he gasps once more, filling his lung with another slosh of icy saltwater.
Damn it!
He's going to die. And they’re so far under, there's nothing he can do about it. Even though they barely met, even though Levi had no reason to trust Eren, he stares at the merman in utter shock and betrayal. For a moment, just the breath of a second, Levi thought he could have something nice for once. Help, maybe.
It's just … What he finds in Eren's gaze isn't what he expected. No satisfaction or arrogance, no pride or joy about a successful kill. His almost luminescent eyes are filled with worry?
As if he's unsure about doing so, Eren reaches out and curls his strong hands around Levi's jaw. "Breathe." The word isn't as easy to understand underwater, but it's only mockery, anyway. Right? "Breathe," Eren almost seems to beg.
What other option does he have? Levi's ears sting. His whole body tingles from the cold. And his lungs … What are they even doing? He's been holding back a hacking cough ever since inhaling half the sea, but it's impossible to keep it up forever.
So he breathes in. Water floods his lungs. Eren seems relieved. He smiles, nods encouragingly, and repeats, "Breathe."
Another inhale, another lungful of death.
"Breathe," Eren begs and kisses him, again and again. And Levi takes another gulp, eyes screwed shut. His body buzzes. There's crackling in his ears, burning in his throat, frozen warmth in his legs.
Is this what dying feels like? Everything at once?
"BREATHE!"
More on instinct than rational thought, Levi attempts to do the impossible again. Except this time, it's different. The burn in his lungs eases, little by little. His ears still ache, but … what's worse is the new sensation surrounding his legs.
Levi screams. He yells as loud as he can. Eren flinches and presses his hands over his own ears—still, the boy doesn't back away.
Not even when cramps fold Levi in half. He seems to breathe fine, but … fuck! Looking down, Levi spots the most unreal thing and the source of his suffering. His legs are dissolving, warping, changing in a way that's not possible—shouldn't be possible—but it's still happening! Levi pants shred, distort, move. It's as if his body absorbs the fabric, wraps itself anew, creates—He can't comprehend what he's looking at.
Where his legs used to be is now …
"Black. That's so pretty." Eren licks his lips, smiling once more. His voice is much clearer now. "I'm jealous. Mind if I touch—"
"Yes!" Levi hisses. "What did you—" Again with the talking underwater. He squeezes his eyes shut, covers his ears. This is a terrible dream. It's all just a terrible dream and he’ll wake up any moment when—
"Human."
Strong fingers wrap around his own but the touch is off. Something seems weird—Levi opens his eyes again and looks. They can't link their fingers because both of their hands are webbed! What the hell? "What did you do to me?!"
Finally, Eren backs off a little. "I …" To his credit, he looks guilty. "I drowned you."
"What?" Levi glances around. They’re clearly at the ocean floor—but he’s still alive. And, as it seems, a mermaid—no, merman—now!
"I drowned you. You … when I found you, you’d lost all hope. We can scent desperation. Are drawn to it. I don't know what issues you humans have with us, but … we want to help. Most of the time, merfolk want to help."
"You tried to kill me!"
"No, I didn't!" Eren pouts. It makes him look even younger. Levi wants to kick himself for considering it cute—but he doesn't have any legs anymore. "I saved you. You wanted to drown yourself! I could smell it. You were reeking of self-hatred! I gave you a reason to fight! To keep going!" His gestures become more and more animated, brows drawing in tightly. "You can't just give up! You have to push forward, that's what we live for! To love and to battle!"
"What does someone like you know about love?" Levi's words come out harsher than he intended, but that’s always the case when he’s forced into a corner.
Eren flinches like he's been struck. His eyes shift to a red so intense, it borders on burning wood. Maybe now he’ll kill Levi. Does he regret turning him? Saving him? The boy snarls. A moment later, his irises shift to orange, yellow, aquamarine again. Eren takes a deep breath—which shouldn't be possible, yet here they are. "I saved you because I wanted you to have a chance. For revenge. To live. To … to be anything but fish food. You have no right to judge my capacity for love!"
Admitting that equals a stab to Levi's chest—but the little shit is right. "All I know about merfolk is that they drown lonely sailors." He can't help but sound defensive.
Eren nods slowly. His shoulders lose some of their previous stiffness. "We drown humans. But not to kill them." Long hair wafts around his face as he shakes his head for emphasis. "The goal is to give them another life."
"How come humans don't know?"
"Well," Eren chuckles darkly, "most don't exactly want to return to a life that plagued them. They stay hidden within their new families."
New families? This is too much. Too much to process. Levi pulls his mind back from Eren's words and tries desperately to understand. His hands wander down to where his own torso bleeds into black. Skin to scale, human to fish. Levi gulps.
"Why are you doing this? Surely not because you have such a good heart?" Why is he trying to hurt Eren? To keep him at a distance? Maybe because it's all so damn surreal. Perhaps because Levi’s starting to see something in the boy's eyes he doesn't understand. Compassion? Or … what? More?
"Because someone has to save the lost souls." Eren's eyes wander before they return to Levi, the color stuck somewhere between cold and warm. "Many weren't born as merfolk, you know?" No. He didn't know. Although it makes sense, now that Eren’s explained what they actually do. "We’re shifters, most of us. Older merfolk saved us when we were stranded, alone, and vulnerable. And now …" His eyes dilate, as if his gaze is zeroing in on Levi even more. "You wanted to fight, didn't you? But alone you had no chance. Now, though! Now, with an entire army … with people like you …" His tone begs Levi to listen, to understand. "We can do it together. We can hunt the kraken!"
The kraken.
Among all the troubles, his worries, his fucking species shifting, Levi almost forgot about the monster under the sea. His neck prickles just thinking about it. Asking questions is easier than dealing with pain. "An army?"
Eren's eyes soften. "Many of us lost loved ones to the monsters down here. Not all of them to the kraken. But we're willing to push forward and face the monster. I didn't want you to stand on your own." Warm hues crawl up his chest, tinting Eren purple as he turns his head away. His next words are whispered. Only Levi's changed biology allows him to notice them at all. "I lost my family to the kraken. So I … I understand how you feel."
Oh. Levi gulps. Eren's human family? Or merfolk? Does it matter? He decides not to ask.
Instead, Levi stretches out a tentative hand and touches Eren's lower arm. "We're … we can do this." Whatever this is. There are a million things left Levi doesn't understand. Why can he breathe now? Was it the kiss? Can he turn back into a human? Is Eren his partner now? Was the drowning similar to a wedding? None of it makes sense. But things will. In due time, they will.
Until then, Levi gingerly takes the merman's hand. "Thank you." Because even though he drowned him, Eren saved his life. Gave him purpose. Gave him a goal. Something to fight for and … damn. Something Levi might actually be able to win. For himself and his lost loved ones. He smiles properly for the first time that day and makes sure Eren looks at him for his next words. It's all he has left to give, after all. "I'm Levi."
