Helluva Boss: Vine Edition

by Pretzel_Tiramisu

Summary:

Since writer’s block is taking so long to leave, I’ve decided to put Helluva Boss characters into vines…

 

Enjoy…

Notes:

I have no clue what I’m doing

Chapter 1

Millie: how do you know what's good for me?!

Lin: That’s my OPINION-

Joe: …

Octavia: Hey, well how you doing? Well I’m doing just fine, I lied, I’m dying inside

This one idk who is who, but it can either be Blitz, Striker, or Fizz.

: So you’re hanging out with Kelly yesterday?

: Rebecca, it’s not what you-

: I won’t hesitate, bitch!

Paimon: You don’t like the snow?

Baby Stolas: No!

Paimon: Why not? Can you say snow?

Baby Stolas: MWAHHH HHH-

Blitz: I’m scared, dad!

Buckzo: Do you trust me son?

Blitz: Yes!

Buckzo: Come on, son!

Blitz: * falls tragically *

Buckzo: Rule number one, never trust anyone!

Zim: Stop saying the mighty ZiMmMm sounds like this worm baby! *gestures to Moxxie photo*

He’s dumb, and a coward! AND ZIM IS NOT A COWARD-

(Can also work in vise versa but whatever)

Blitz: *blows kiss*

Moxxie: *grabs kiss*

*turns on blender and drops it*

Vortex: *blowing smoke in the office lobby*

Loona: wOw

Chaz: Hey, Mailman! What do ya got?

Mailman: Just this LETTER!

Chaz: Dahhh!

Mailman: Ahhh!

In Moxxie’s voice: “Chaz, I don’t love you anymore, I-“

Either Baby Fizz or Blitz after drinking the grape juice in the cabinet: I smell like beef… I smell like beeef… I smell- I smell like beef-

 

 

Fizz and Ozzie sharing a lollipop with “Takkkeee meeeee awayyyyyyy, a sceret plaaaaaaace* in the background 

Blitz and his ponies under the moon with *With your red dress on toooonighhhhht*

Millie: You ready to fucking die?!

Sallie May: I’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me!!

Millie: At Dell Taco they have a new thing called- *laughs* FRE E SH A VOCA D0!!! FRE E SH A-

Verosika: And they were roommates! 

Anyone of the Mayday Crew: Oh mah gawh they were roommates!

Blitz and Stolas in a pool: …

Entire Fandom: Two bros, chilling in a hot tub, sitting 5 feet apart because they have issues!

Every human in helluva boss at literal undisguised demons: Look at all those chickens!

 

Ozzie: Road Work Ahead? Uhhh, yeah I sure hope it does!

 

Martha after dying: It’s the mentallll break downnnn *shitty kazoo*

 

Gir: Dah-dee?

Moxxie: … DO I LOOK LIKE-

Chapter 2: Part Two Mama Quakers!

Summary:

You know what to expect

Blitz: Hey bro, can I have some of that water?

Moxxie: It’s not water

Blitz: Vodka! I like your style-

Moxxie: it’s vinegar

Blitz: …what?

Moxxie: It’s vinegar

Drunk Moxxie: Oh mah gahhhh I’m at chipotle~ Chipotle is mah liiiiiifeeeee

*Acoustic guitar plays as Mammon waddles away with Ozzie pinching his nose*

Lyle: Loopty  is so annoying!

Loopty Goop: *running on roof to window* I heard you were talking shit about me?

Lyle: WHAT THE FU-

The Cherubs getting ready to ruin society: You better watch out, you better watch out, YOU BETTER WATCH OUT , YOU BETTER WATC-

Stella: You’re not coming to my tea party?! BECKY, I MADE BISCUITS-

Sallie May: Hey everybody, today my sister pushed me, so i'm starting a kick starter to put her down 

*shows Millie slideshow*

The benefits of killing her would be that I’d get pushed away less-

Millie and Moxxie: Cannnn you feel the loveee 

Behind the curtains: To-o-nigh-igh-ght!

Moxxie: Really?

Blitz eating cheese: Sorry

Blitz with pony figure: I sneezed on the beat and the beat got sicker *insert sad collage here*

The fandom: Oh look, a hot snake!

Striker: *tries to strangle Moxxie and kill stolas*

Fandom: NOOO, STRIKER!!! STRIKER-

(Tho tbh we all know damn well it just gave more fuel tor the ship fire smh)

FizzaRolli: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to t-t-t-t-t-Tarrrrrgettttt! *airhorns*

Moxxie: *literally trying to enjoy anything*

The writers/fandom: *grab inflatable helicopter stick and spin Moxxie with “if you love me let me gooo” in the background*

Angst and sadness: *jumps from stairs*

Stolas: AHH! Stop, Ima drop my croissant! 

Moxxie: WHEN WILL YOU LEARN, WHEN WILL YOU LEARN?! THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSIQUENCES?!? 

Deerie: I want a church girl, that go yo church! Annnnn reeeeee errrr biiiiibblee-

Stolas: Dad, it’s the good kush!

Paimon: This is the dollar store, how good can it be?

Verosika: Saava gives you all your daily nutrients like 0 grams of trans fat and ohh myy gawww, cholesterol 

Octavia: *pours lemons*

*on the brink of tears* Well, when life gives you lemons!

Striker: it is Wednesday, my dudes

*banshee screech*

*on facetime*

Baby Blitz: Ooo, Fizz, I’m eatin ICECREEAM!

Fizz: Guess what I’m eatin, POPCORRN!

Chapter 3

Summary:

I stayed up til 3 am last night do homework and I am tired af plz help

Also enjoy more memes

Blitz speaking into microphone: Moxxie, me and Loona don’t give two shits about stupid. Ass. Moraaaaaaals.

Verosika: First lemme hop out the *piano* porsche some wanna hit that-

Blitz: Shut the *piano slam* up

(Look idk the actual words plz forgive me)

Striker preparing to kill Stolas: Bop it, twist it, pull it, neeeeeer-

The fandom after S2-EP1: GUYYYS, GET OUT OF THE WAYYY, IT’S BABY STOLASSSSS-

Robofizz: I have a banana peel on the ground, im gonna see if it’s really slippery like in the cartoons

(Slips and burns LooLoo Land down)

Loona: *looks at Shoes sign*

*covers the S*

Millie: Loona, stop. You look like a Nazi

Octavia: fuck this shit I’m out

*Jumps into trashcan*

Moxxie at Ozzie’s: I love you bitttttch

*strums guitar*

I ain’t ever gon stop loving you, bitttttch-

*Imp in van*

Blitz: Moxxie, are they helium balloons?

Moxxie: ah for fucks sake-

*showing IMP van floating into the sky as the crew argues*

Wally Wackford: Two shots of Vodka

*dumps the whole fucking bottle*

*crashes into IMP office*

Literally every Wrath Imp: I wanna be a cooowwwwboyyy babyyyyy (hell yeah!) I wannnnnnna be a coooooowboyyyyy baby-

Collin: Me and the others about to go vandalize some stuff

*Cletus writing =16 on truck*

Apple: Iz the most beautiful thing I eva seen in my life!

Iz watah-melon! INSIDE A WATAHMELOOOON!!!

Lin/Joe yelling at Moxxie: If our farmhand can make enough money to buy a blessing tipped rifle-

Moxxie: Wait, why does he have a blessing tipped rifle?!

Striker: MIND YO BUSINESS, VERMIN!!

News: How do you keep your pants up when you preform, it’s incredible !

Vortex:

…

Belt.

FizzaRolli: What’s up, I’m here with Blitz who’s a FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT ASSHOLE, FUCK YOU-

Ralphie: And to all, a good night!

*shit recorder music*

Chapter 4: Ex’s and Oh’s edition

Summary:

Wooohooooo more vines while I’m burnt out plz help finals are gonna be the end of me

Crimson after Moxxie’s mom cuts Moxxie’s steak: NOT ON MY WATCH! *slams hand* NOT ON MY WATCH!

The poor priest: *playing keyboard*

Millie and Blitz: JAM- *crashes wedding*

*Moxxie laying face down on the floor while Chaz plays *cha cha real smooth* on the DJ*

Chaz: I care about you, here’s some pinecones on a stick

Chaz strolling by at everything that breathes in the art museum: I can fuck that, I can fuck that, I ca-

Alessio: *chugging mouthwash in the middle of Walmart because he doesn’t get paid enough for this shit*

Crimson: He’s a good kid! *turns of Moxxie* I’ll kill you, FUCK you, *spits*

 

Probably Chaz with Millie at some point: Couuuntryyyyy giiiiiirl I looooove yoooooooou-bleh

 

*Blitz and Chaz sitting on a bus*

*chaz puts his hand on Blitz’s*

*Blitz pulls hand away idfk how to explain this shit if you know you know I h-*

 

Fandom watching Ex’s and Oh’s:

A…

Aa… 

AAA-

*Blitz is literally that one vine with the kid in the blue jacket with the *eeeeeen tongue click* song I can’t describe but it’s him this episode*

 

*Loona’s the “peace out, fades” meme*

Notes:

There’ll probably be more but idk I’m burnt out