Work Text:
The first confession was posted exactly one week before Mo Ran’s birthday, close enough to April Fool’s Day that she wondered if it was a belated joke. But it was the day after, and anyone who would normally prank Mo Ran (Xue Meng) had already tried their hand (toothpaste Oreos) and failed (“Those look like shit.”).
Besides, yesterday Xue Meng had yelled angrily across all the cubicles at Mo Ran, “Mo Ran!! Check the forum! Someone just called my dad a DILF!”
Mo Ran pretended not to hear. They weren’t supposed to mention the forum in the agency office, because, well—
“What forum?” came a biting voice from Mo Ran’s left. Chu Wanning. This was why. Because if Chu Wanning got wind of the operation she’d no doubt shut it down.
Long story short, Xue Meng had gotten chewed out by her hero (so there was no way she’d dare open the forum again for the next week), and Mo Ran had expected the site to go down within twenty-four hours. But the next day, she woke up, grabbed her phone, and flicked it open out of boredom.
Right at the top, under the fancy Sisheng Peak Anonymous Confessions!!! header, was confession #195: I am in love with Mo Ran .
It was pretty common to submit posts about how cute someone in the agency was. But no one used it for declarations of love, especially if they were serious. The confession was written so dryly and moreover with perfect grammar, all unprecedented in Sisheng history.
Shi Mei had texted in their sisheng babies group chat: mo ran, did you hear? someone’s in love with you
Xue Meng: what??????????
Shi Mei: i’m surprised you haven’t seen…it’s on the forum
Xue Meng: okay FIRST someone on there wants to fuck my dad so i’m taking some time away, and SECOND chu-qianbei caught me on there yesterday so i’ve deleted it from my bookmarks bar for now
Shi Mei: oh…mo ran??
Xue Meng: she’s asleep
Mo Ran: im awake
Xue Meng: she’s ALIVE!!
Shi Mei: did you see?
Mo Ran: it’s probably a prank lolol who writes like that
Shi Mei: but what if it’s not
Mo Ran: idk well what am i supposed to do about it
Xue Meng: ask chu-qianbei to borrow tianwen and ask everyone at sisheng
Mo Ran: i’d rather die.
Chu Wanning would not only laugh in her face but call the entire operation frivolous. Mo Ran didn’t think that Chu Wanning believed in true love.
Anyway, there wasn't a point in wasting work time to track down love anon. Mo Ran wasn’t in a hurry to fall in love anyway - she didn’t need to be attached. She was a young and bright, up and coming field cultivator!!
Everyone forgot about it by the time lunch rolled around; the post got no upvotes and was quickly relegated to the second page. Much more interesting was the new gossip about the field cultivators' pet crab. Three anons in a row claimed that they saw the crab glowing, which was way more important than a secret admirer.
Mo Ran herself let it slip completely from her mind. The weeks went by, and love anon never showed up. Mo Ran celebrated her birthday at the club — all the field cultivators were e-vited but the only one mannerless enough to actually press decline on the public RSVP list was Chu Wanning. If you couldn’t come you just hit maybe! Or didn’t RSVP at all! Mo Ran didn’t get why Chu Wanning hated her so much. Meanwhile, the glowing crab had been scanned for radioactivity and ghosts, and both tests turned up negative.
—
The end of June was always hot and sticky at Sisheng. The air conditioning audibly labored, half the ceiling fans didn’t work, and Mo Ran could swear even the tiny sparrows that nested on their window sills were sweating their asses off.
There was no dress code at the office. Most field cultivators were off on missions during work hours. The majority took less than twenty-four hours, and were simple enough that everyone showed up in street or athleisure clothing. These bottom-tier missions made up the bulk of their income. The other third of the time, they were stuck in the office writing mission reports and filtering the mission requests inbox for spam. Paperwork attire generally consisted of hoodies and sweatpants.
In May and June, however, people started trading in the pants for skirts and shorts.
Listen. It wasn’t Mo Ran’s fault that she’d started really putting in hours at the gym last December after Shi Mei had decisively turned her down for the very last time. It also wasn’t her fault that she hadn’t tried on her nice jean shorts and v-neck T-shirt until now. Long story short, she’d been on her bulking-protein-lifting grind for months, gone up a boob size, gone up a butt size, and her originally appropriate office attire was now verging on the edge of whorish.
But like, just the edge.
Xue Meng had taken one look at her as she stepped into the office and nearly choked on water.
Mo Ran hightailed it to her cubicle and powered up her computer. Her last mission with Shi Mei had been two days ago, and she’d accidentally enraged a spirit so much it razed half a ripening cropfield. Now they had to fight with the municipal government about how much money they’d fork over for making the request in the first place, versus damage payments out of Sisheng’s pocket. Or, uh, out of Mo Ran’s salary.
“Shi Mei,” she called, waving her over. “I think I need your signature.”
At that, Chu Wanning's head popped over the divider that separated their two cubicles. Why was she in the office again? Chu Wanning looked like she was about to say something, but thought better and ducked back down, out of sight.
Mo Ran got the signature from Shi Mei and saved the file securely. It wasn't until lunch break until she got to talk with Shi Mei again, when they walked to the office cafe together. Xue Meng was already sitting at their regular table.
"Guys," she said, once they'd ordered and paid. "Check the forum. It's—well, you have to see it for yourself."
"What, they finally figured out what’s happened to Mr. Crab?” asked Mo Ran, putting her phone aside and taking a long sip of water. She popped open a button on her shorts and looked around surreptitiously. Listen, it was a little too tight, and she needed to eat.
“ No ,” insisted Xue Meng. “Just check.”
They were waiting for food regardless, so Mo Ran swiped open her phone and pulled up a new browser.
“Scroll down a bit,” Xue Meng instructed. It was pointless, though, because Mo Ran had already seen the offending confession.
I want to drop all my documents and watch Mo Ran pick them up in front of me. I want to see her hamstrings flex. Although, I am sure she would get my papers wrinkled, because she can be careless.
“What is this,” said Mo Ran, scoffing even though her cheeks felt a little hot. “Are they thirsting or are they roasting me?”
“More importantly,” said Xue Meng, “do you think it’s the same person as before?”
“The writing style…” began Shi Mei.
“It has to be.” Mo Ran looked at the other confessions on the page. All were written in slang and clearly without proper grammar and punctuation. There were a lot of cultivators in the agency, but Mo Ran thought she knew most of the people who used the forum, and no one talked like this .
She refreshed the page. There - there was another one, newly uploaded, right at the top above the other.
Her huge breasts and inappropriate sense of humor have bewitched me.
Mo Ran was so busy gaping at this one that she missed her plate of food being set down before her. Shi Mei forked a string bean and directed it into her open mouth.
“This,” began Mo Ran, showing Shi Mei the text on her phone, “...this is definitely an HR violation, right?”
“Do you feel violated?” asked Shi Mei.
She thought about it for all of two seconds. “Nah,” said Mo Ran, staring down at her own tits. “Nothing I didn’t already know about myself.”
—
The anonymous confessions became more frequent after that day. Thanks to love anon’s constant stream of risque content, the website owner (Mo Ran wasn’t sure who it was, but she had her suspicions about Shi Mei) moved it off the web and to an app. Instructions for installation had been posted as the final confession on the website. The app did a better job of confirming users’ ages even if it didn’t require a login; no one wanted the high school interns stumbling into all this lust directed at Mo Ran. Everyone else mostly found it amusing.
These days, Mo Ran would tap open the app, see something like:
I am not lying, joking, nor exaggerating when I say this woman makes me unspeakably feral. The sins I would commit for her. I am never getting a single glimpse of heaven.
—and just keep scrolling. It was, of course, flattering, but Mo Ran had way too much on her mind to investigate. First of all, she did most of her missions alone or with Xue Meng or Shi Mei. Second, when she was around her coworkers, she was in the office getting harassed by Chu Wanning. Just thinking about the esteemed Chu-qianbei catching her slacking off made her shudder. Sometimes it felt like she took the cubicle next to Mo Ran just so she could keep an eye on her and find things to pick at.
“What are you daydreaming about?” came Chu Wanning’s snappish voice over her shoulder. Case in point.
“Pussy,” Mo Ran said without thinking, and then froze. It was the type of thing she’d say to Xue Meng so she’d curse and call Mo Ran a perv. But Chu Wanning was such a prude.
“You—” said Chu Wanning, and Mo Ran turned around in her chair to see the tips of Chu Wanning’s ears flushing red. “Focus on work during work hours.”
Mo Ran blinked as Chu Wanning stomped back around the divider. That wasn’t as harsh of a reprimand as she’d thought. Chu Wanning was kind of cute when she was embarrassed, the way her typically barbed anger was gentled by the blush and inability to make eye contact.
Anyway—just because Mo Ran wasn’t trying to figure out who it was didn’t mean that the rest of the office wasn’t in a frenzy. Everyone was always gossip hungry, and love anon kept throwing them candy. Mo Ran knew Shi Mei and Xue Meng were keeping a list of everyone they thought it could be and slowly crossing off names.
are you sure lu wen isn’t attracted to women , texted Xue Meng that night.
god i wish, replied Mo Ran. is this for your little list
we’re really narrowing it down, confirmed Shi Mei. out of all the people you talk to regularly, there’s just chu-qianbei left…the others would be admirers from afar
true objectification, quipped Xue Meng.
Mo Ran: rather be objectified than have it be chu wanning lolol
Mo Ran: pretty sure any conversation i’ve had with her would only add to her negative impression of me
Xue Meng: doesn’t mean she can’t think ur bod is bangin
Mo Ran: …hate sex with chu wanning
Xue Meng: FUCK OFF!!!!!!
Shi Mei: please keep your sex dreams to yourself, mo ran
Mo Ran, who actually had dreamt of fucking Chu Wanning probably too many times in her life for it to be a normal boss slash archnemesis slash coworker situation, turned off her phone and threw it onto the couch. She was doing a great job of keeping it to herself.
Love anon was not .
The next Friday, Mo Ran woke up to:
I want her to eat me out until I cry while she tells me she loves me and that I’m pretty.
Which, okay, narrowed down the pool somewhat but also, what the fuck. Love anon not only needed to get railed but also, apparently, to go to therapy. Had they never heard of a personal diary before? Mo Ran wasn’t out there telling everyone (anonymously) that she wanted to fuck Chu Wanning until she cried and apologized for all the shitty things she’d said about Mo Ran’s cultivation. Mo Ran coped like a normal person (having extended fantasies at night and jerking off).
This status quo continued through the summer and even through fall, where the comments became a little more subdued but no less frequent. Shi Mei and Xue Meng had crossed almost everyone off their list, but acquiesced that multiple people on it could have been lying. Mo Ran had taken the big black sharpie and crossed Chu Wanning off herself. Chu Wanning presented herself as pure as fresh snow; the idea of her having sexual fantasies about Mo Ran of all people was laughable. Just last week she’d ripped Mo Ran to shreds for closing a spacetime rift too inefficiently, even though the end result was the same, plus a minute or two. Mo Ran wasn’t even supposed to be an expert in rift closure.
“It’s because she cares about you,” said Xue Meng lazily when Mo Ran ranted to her later on the train. “She wants you to improve.”
“It’s because she wants me to be demoted,” snapped Mo Ran. “She’s definitely telling your dad about how unqualified I am every week during their meetings.”
“Dad loves you,” Xue Meng said, affronted. “He’d never demote you. Besides, demote you to what?”
Mo Ran rolled her eyes. Okay, she was being dramatic. As a field cultivator, she couldn’t really be demoted, and she wasn’t looking to become a cultivation professor down the road. “It just really sucks. It feels like she’s always paying attention to my every move, waiting for me to fuck up.”
“Yeah,” said Xue Meng dreamily. “She’s always paying attention to you…”
“Your obsession with Chu-qianbei is getting disturbing.”
“Says you ,” retorted Xue Meng. She looked around surreptitiously and lowered her voice. “You know, we didn’t want to tell you…”
“What?”
“But last week when we took the river spirit mission, the first night we camped by the bank, you said Chu-qianbei’s name in your sleep.”
Mo Ran cut a glare at Xue Meng, who was now crossing her arms and glaring. “I did not .”
“Yeah, you have fucking problems. Did you know you said her given name? You called for Wanning. Sicko.”
Mo Ran thought back to that mission, but couldn’t remember dreaming. Her subconscious was betraying her. “You’re fucking with me. As if I’d think about Chu-qianbei during the precious hours I have where she’s not nagging at me.” Guiltily, her mind supplied all of the times she had indeed fantasized about Chu Wanning off work. Chu Wanning wore pencil skirts in the summer sometimes, okay? There was a reason for everything.
“Believe what you want,” said Xue Meng. She looked too smug for someone who’d just gotten taken off active duty for two weeks because she’d accidentally swung her sword into a government embassy.
“Thanks,” said Mo Ran curtly, turning away from Xue Meng. “I will.”
As the weather got slightly frostier — it never really got that cold in their part of Sichuan — love anon became a little more reserved.
It would be a travesty if Mo Ran’s nose and chin moles were going unkissed. But why would she want me to kiss them.
They were also becoming more self-deprecating, as if love anon had seasonal depression. Or maybe it was because it had been over half a year, and Mo Ran hadn’t showed any interest.
It wasn’t that she felt zero interest. She was like a dog; when people praised her, she would return again and again. The compliments to not only her body but also her personality (rare) were addictive. But Mo Ran hadn’t been doing anything to warrant the comments, except being herself. It was like being rewarded for doing nothing. And she had no clue who was sending them.
She also couldn’t foolishly say things like “of course I’d want you to kiss my moles,” because what if it was like, Xue Meng or something? The best course of action was just to stay silent.
Everyone was also getting busier at the office. With shorter days and longer nights, more monsters were coming out to prowl. Especially around the holiday season, when people were taking time off left and right, the remaining cultivators had their schedules stacked with cases (probably violating at least a few labor laws).
So it was the last week of December, and Mo Ran was busy getting briefed on a mission by Chu Wanning. A mission they were doing together , because it was almost New Year’s and everyone else was taking time off to go hang out with their families, but neither Mo Ran nor Chu Wanning had families to go home to, and…
“Are you listening?” barked Chu Wanning, face stern and eyebrows drawn together. Chu Wanning was probably the only woman in the world who genuinely looked attractive while making a face like she was sucking on a lemon. Mo Ran had never seen her smile; it was the sort of mystery that Mo Ran sometimes spent lunch break wondering about.
“Yes ma’am,” said Mo Ran, half as a joke. The sarcasm must have come through, because the tips of Chu Wanning’s ears flushed in anger. “String of mysterious disappearances in Shanxi. Mostly young people in their twenties, some in their thirties. Suspected ice demon.”
“Okay,” muttered Chu Wanning, ducking her head. “Pack cold weather clothing. There will be snow. We depart from here at noon tomorrow.”
“I can handle snow,” said Mo Ran casually, resting the back of her right hand on Chu Wanning’s wrist. “See? I run hot.”
Chu Wanning jerked her hand away instinctively. “Good for you,” she snapped. “Not all of us are so lucky.”
Mo Ran gave Chu Wanning a once over. Her frame was much slighter than Mo Ran’s, and her wrists were deceptively delicate. Mo Ran casually thought about what it would be like hold them in her hands, behind Chu Wanning’s back or over her head. To push her smaller body against the wall and pry open the pursed lips with her own— Mo Ran pinched her own thigh. It really sucked when your archnemesis coworker-boss was ridiculously gorgeous.
“What are you looking at,” said Chu Wanning, almost sullenly. She turned her face away and crossed her arms, becoming even tinier.
“I have space in my bag,” said Mo Ran, voice coming out gentler than she wanted it to. “If you want to bring an extra coat or something—”
“No need,” Chu Wanning said, turning away and walking back into her own cubicle.
God, Mo Ran loved to see her leave, and also really, really loved to see her go.
—
There hadn’t yet been a demon that Mo Ran couldn’t subdue, much less her and Chu Wanning together. Mo Ran wasn’t concerned about the mission. She was, however, concerned with spending a twelve hour train ride from Chengdu to Taiyuan, the capital of Shanxi province. Sword may have been faster, but the hours saved weren’t even worth the wasted energy. Besides, Chu Wanning notoriously hated riding on her sword, especially long distance.
So now they were sitting awkwardly next to each other. It was two hours in. Chu Wanning was the type of stone still that clearly indicated she was pretending to sleep. Mo Ran had her earbuds in and was trying to find inner peace. Every time she instinctively tried to put her elbow up on the armrest, it would graze the side of Chu Wanning’s arm, and they’d both flinch apart.
Mo Ran sighed and pulled up the case information on her phone instead, reading it over for the nth time. A skiing resort, it looked like, in Jinzhong’s Wujin mountains. A neighboring city. Guests staying there as early as October had been reporting disappearances, but corrupt city officials had tried to cover everything up to save business going into ski season. Finally cowed into submission by growing news presence and declining profits, the local government had asked Sisheng to step in. Of course , thought Mo Ran. The tricky bastards hadn’t dared hire a local agency, in case they spread rumors after and scared all the local patrons away. Instead, they’d silently contacted cultivators from the south, from Sichuan .
And now Mo Ran was on a twelve hour train ride with Chu Wanning.
girlies, she texted the group chat. i am so fuckingggg bored
go submit some more confessions, Xue Meng texted back instantly. Oh. Right: Xue Meng’s newest theory, which was that Mo Ran was the one submitting all these insanely horny and lovesick confessions for herself. As if Mo Ran needed to hype herself up like that. The only things she’d ever sent into that godforsaken blog were meme content such as, I saw Xue Meng standing on the table trying to reach the high cabinet but she fell over onto the copier and accidentally scanned her ass. The scan’s still sitting on the printer btw if anyone’s interested
(Legend had it that one of the Mei Hanxues had picked up the scan for real and had it framed in her home. When asked, Xue Meng had said something like, “What?! Why are you asking me? Why would I ever go to her house? Huh? Did you even think about that?!”)
i can literally send you my app activity, Mo Ran replied.
Shi Mei: are you sure you don’t want me to just track the IP of whoever keeps sending them?
Mo Ran: it’s not worth the effort. so someone’s in love with me lol big deal…nothing new
Xue Meng: i hate your fucking guts
Mo Ran: 😛
No one responded to her cheeky emoji, so she texted again, Did you guys know Chu-qianbei sleeps with her mouth open? She snapped a picture and sent it to the group chat.
Shi Mei: that’s adorable
Xue Meng: you’re disrespecting our qianbei again
Mo Ran studied Chu Wanning’s lips (platonically). They were very thin and light, unlike Mo Ran’s own, and her little pink tongue was made visible by her slack jaw. It was truly a tempting sight. In particular, Mo Ran liked imagining what it would be like to kiss Chu Wanning now, when she was asleep. Mo Ran thought about her mouth, loose and open at first, but quickly resisting and pulling together in shock as she awoke.
Chu Wanning would yell at her, maybe try to turn away only to realize that she was trapped between Mo Ran and the window. Mo Ran would already have her wrists secured…she’d pull one of Chu Wanning’s legs over so that she would be sitting on one of Mo Ran’s thighs. If Chu Wanning tried to resist, Mo Ran would just flex her thigh, jumping her muscle against Chu Wanning’s most tender spots. Thinking about bullying and dirtying Chu Wanning (grabbing her ass and moving her cunt against Mo Ran’s thigh, biting her lips so hard they’d turn numb, sliding a hand under her dress shirt to squeeze her waist) always made Mo Ran feel insane. Chu Wanning liked to pretend she was so much better than the rest of them. But Mo Ran just had to get two fingers in her pussy and a thumb on her clit and she’d be the same as all the other girls Mo Ran fucked. She’d never get to test out the hypothesis, but she was sure.
She looked back down at the text chat.
Xue Meng: hellloooo? u arent even gonna deny it…
Shi Mei: of course mo ran respects qianbei
Xue Meng: name 3 positive things ran-jie has ever said about chu-qianbei go
Mo Ran saw that Shi Mei was typing, but her fingers flew faster.
Mo Ran: good skin nice ass cute blush
There was silence for a minute. Mo Ran saw Xue Meng’s three dots appear and disappear.
Xue Meng: FUCKKKKKKK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Xue Meng: SHE’S NEVER RESPECTED QIANBEI A DAY IN HER LIFE
Xue Meng: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO HER ON THE TRAIN YOU SICKO
Shi Mei: mengmeng, we don’t call our friends sickos
Shi Mei: but mo ran, you’re a sicko
Mo Ran: you asked
Xue Meng: i wonder what kind of dirty thoughts are running through your perverted brain right now
Mo Ran: you asked
Xue Meng: wai
Xue Meng: WAIT
Xue Meng: i see you typing. mo ran. stop now
Shi Mei: mo ran
Mo Ran: in order to protect our local virgin from having her mind polluted, i’ve decided to keep my thoughts to myself
Xue Meng: keep your hands to yourself too. thanks
Shi Mei: xue meng isn’t a virgin
Mo Ran: …
Xue Meng: WHAT THE FUCK
Mo Ran: so, does mei hanxue have a picture of your ass framed on her wall or not
Like this, twelve hours passed.
—
As expected, the demon was no problem. It was a routine mission, the kind where they showed up, talked to the snivelling resort owners, hiked up (or rather, rode a skilift up) the mountain, and exterminated the monster. Mo Ran was already anticipating getting back to the resort, where they were each allotted one of the nicest rooms in the complex before heading out on train the next day.
The real problem was when they were on their way down the mountain. If they’d just hopped on their swords, everything would have been fine. But Chu Wanning insisted on calling her little paper dragon to ride on instead. She was standing there, coaxing the dragon to get bigger, when the mountain started rumbling beneath them.
Okay, so Mo Ran was making this sound like all Chu Wanning’s fault. But it was true that Mo Ran tended to be a little ferocious when she fought. Maybe she had damaged the internal infrastructure of the mountain.
Either way, they had barely scrambled to the safety of a tiny wooden ski cabin when the avalanche struck. When the rumbling stopped, they couldn’t even see out of the windows, because the snow was too high. Mo Ran had moved to blast open the snow so they could get out, but Chu Wanning grabbed her arm.
“You’ll cause another avalanche. It’s better to ask the agency to pick us up instead of wasting energy when we don’t know what the situation is outside.”
“Do we have phone signal?”
Chu Wanning didn’t roll her eyes, but Mo Ran caught the beginning of the motion.
She tossed Mo Ran her phone, unlocked. “You can try to get some signal for a direct connection.” Then she concentrated her spiritual energy and produced a golden begonia flower, letting it flutter through the walls of the cabin and into the snow. “That should take a couple of hours to reach Xue-zongcai given how distant Sichuan is.”
There was, predictably, no signal where they were standing. But Mo Ran floated on her sword to the very top of the cabin and shook the phone around. The signal symbol flickered for a second, but then showed one consistent, solid bar. That would probably be enough to give Xue Zhengyong a call.
A few notifications slid in as Chu Wanning’s phone reconnected to the world. Work emails. A voicemail. The Duolingo owl threatening to off itself. And then: Congratulations on 50 posts on Sisheng Peak Anonymous Confessions!!! A milestone ㊗️
Mo Ran’s brain went blank.
Not only was Chu Wanning using their godforsaken anonymous confessions app, but she had posted fifty times on it??
Mo Ran rifled through all of the posts she remembered from the last year, but none of them sounded like Chu Wanning. She could not imagine Chu Wanning typing out something like “ lowkey xue zhengyong is such a dilf id let him take me out. if you know what i mean ”
Unless.
Mo Ran shook her head. First of all, Chu Wanning would never harbor feelings for a married man. Second, there was no way she knew what DILF meant. Third, Chu Wanning once eviscerated her ass for improper use of a semicolon so it would be unbelievable if she was posting anonymous confessions without punctuation.
But just in case: “Chu-qianbei,” said Mo Ran tentatively, waving the phone around like she was still looking for signal. “Do you know what a DILF is?”
“Is that a new company acronym?” replied Chu Wanning with her eyes closed, leaned up against the wall. “I keep telling Xue-zongcai to update me on new workplace policies.”
Mo Ran breathed a sigh of relief. Xue Zhengyong did enjoy coming up with weird acronyms to keep the office lively. (He had just introduced a new one to Mo Ran and Xue Meng last week: PIDBUYB, Preventing Infrastructure Damage By Using Your Brain.)
There was one anon who always posted with perfect grammar. And punctuation. And spelling. And rarely any slang. But it couldn’t be…it really, really couldn’t be. Because if it were anyone else, Mo Ran could let it slide as a joke. But Chu Wanning wouldn’t joke about this kind of thing. She wouldn’t joke at all, period.
Mo Ran tapped open the app without thinking. It wouldn’t tell her anything. The anonymity meant that even the app didn’t track what posts you had made.
But Chu Wanning must have been using the app before she’d last stowed her phone away, because there was still text winking at Mo Ran in the submission tab, sentence half written and saved as a draft.
Mo Ran gets hotter every year. She was very sweet looking in her early twenties, but as she gets older… She went from cute to sexy and she will keep getting hotter as she gets older. Maturing like a fine wine.
Mo Ran almost dropped the phone in shock. She looked between the screen and Chu Wanning leaning against the wall, looking like a pure, elegant ascetic. Like a highlight reel, a long sequence of all the posts Mo Ran had ever read from love anon flashed through her brain.
Who knew? Chu Wanning was no pure angel; she was just as depraved as the rest of them. But the harder roadblock for Mo Ran’s mind wasn’t the physical attraction - it was the fact that the very first confession, the one that had lingered harder and more permanently than the others, was that Chu Wanning was in love with Mo Ran.
That was simply impossible to believe. Chu Wanning was spotless and esteemed, Mo Ran was a dirty nobody who had crawled her way from living on the streets to a prestigious cultivator position at Sisheng thanks to Xue Zhengyong’s fondness for her. Wasn’t Chu Wanning afraid that Mo Ran would stain her? Mo Ran understood how it could be a sexual fantasy, but love?
She didn’t know how to respond, so she hurriedly closed the app again and thumbed open the phone app. After placing a call to Sisheng, she returned the phone to Chu Wanning and settled on the opposite end of the cabin.
She couldn’t approach Chu Wanning now. It felt wrong, somehow, to know. Mo Ran almost wished she was ignorant instead. Mo Ran was someone who was eager to please, and for a moment she even considered offering to fuck Chu Wanning since she wanted it so bad. Maybe it would make her happy? But the next moment she nearly slapped herself in the face. That would be taking advantage of Chu Wanning’s feelings, and besides, Chu Wanning wouldn’t be thick-faced enough to accept on this premise.
Also, if Xue Meng and Shi Mei found out, there wouldn’t even be a whole body to lower into her grave.
Mo Ran took another peek at Chu Wanning, who was meditating with her eyes closed. She didn’t look like she was in love with Mo Ran. Maybe it was all a fever dream. Chu Wanning 1.0, the stern supervisor who nagged at her all the time, was slowly being replaced with Chu Wanning 2.0, the one apparently hiding burning hot feelings and wanted Mo Ran’s dick.
After a brief pause, Mo Ran realized to her horror that she was getting turned on. By the thought of Chu Wanning, Sisheng’s pure darling, hiding her filthy fantasies about Mo Ran every day at work. Mo Ran already found Chu Wanning supremely attractive, and now knowing she could actually have her—disregarding ethical stipulations—was torture.
Her mind was racing so fast the cabin began to seem especially stifling. Wasn’t—wasn’t love anon also a virgin? Well, it made sense that Chu Wanning was a turbo-virgin but…but hadn’t love anon told everyone that they wanted their first kiss to be Mo Ran? Chu Wanning was so pretty, had no one ever kissed her before? Was everyone fucking blind?
Mo Ran took three deep breaths and recited in her thoughts, Chu Wanning is a virgin. Virginity is a construct. But she wants me to take her virginity. Virginity is a construct!! Chu Wanning is a virgin though…that’s hot. Okay, so reciting wasn’t helping. Why wasn’t Sisheng here yet? What were they waiting for!!!!
“Are you cold?” came Chu Wanning’s voice from across the cabin. Mo Ran full-body flinched at the sound. Cold? As if. She was burning hot.
“N—No…” said Mo Ran, trying to find the courage to look Chu Wanning in the eye when she talked to her. The problem was, she was currently having trouble looking at Chu Wanning without imagining her naked. “Is qianbei cold?” Respect. She had to be respectful.
“No,” said Chu Wanning, crossing her arms. Her big winter coat was swallowing her, white furred hood tickling her cheeks. She was adorable.
“You…probably wish you were here with Shi Mei or Xue Meng,” said Mo Ran, scratching her cheek. “I know you don’t enjoy my company very much.”
Chu Wanning’s eyes widened, barely perceptible. After a moment, she said, “It’s fine. Shouldn’t it be you that wishes you were stuck here with Shi Mei?”
“Huh?”
Chu Wanning just glared.
“Why would I want to be stuck here with her?”
“So you could—could share warmth with your bodies,” Chu Wanning spat out, turning her head to the side.
Mo Ran’s jaw was slack in surprise. “Why—”
“Never mind.”
“No, I mean, you knew about that?” said Mo Ran, finally finding her voice. Most of the office knew about her little puppy crush on Shi Mei, but Chu Wanning didn’t engage in company gossip. Or. Considering the events of the last hour, maybe she did.
“It was obvious,” scoffed Chu Wanning. “She’s pretty and kind, of course you liked her.”
“It was really just a crush,” said Mo Ran, for some reason desperate to convince Chu Wanning she didn’t like Shi Mei anymore. “She turned me down like a year ago, and I’ve moved on.”
“Why are you telling me?” said Chu Wanning testily. “I don’t care.”
“It’s true!” said Mo Ran, scooting across the length of the cabin to be closer to Chu Wanning.
“What are you doing!” Chu Wanning scrambled to the side to avoid Mo Ran colliding into her.
“Sharing warmth, didn’t you want to?”
“Mo Weiyu,” scolded Chu Wanning. “Don’t say nonsense. Move over.”
Mo Ran moved closer. Now she could see how easy it was to fluster Chu Wanning. Everything she had mistaken for anger before was really embarrassment. The red flush, the darting eyes, all of it Mo Ran found addictive.
“Come on,” she wheedled. “Chu-qianbei, I’m cold.”
“You weren’t cold a second ago,” said Chu Wanning. “Get lost.”
“All you know how to say is get lost…”
“Then why don’t you listen?”
Mo Ran inched closer until they were brushing shoulders, then stopped. This was as much of a liberty as she would allow herself to take. Chu Wanning didn’t move away.
Now that she knew it was Chu Wanning who had been praising her this entire time, she felt like a dog thirsty for praise. She wanted to know, when Wanning looked at her, what did she see? When she said, get lost, what was she really thinking? Something like come closer, come here, press your arm to mine?
Chu Wanning, thought Mo Ran. Did you ever really hate me? Because when she thought back on it, Chu Wanning had never actually been malicious toward her—only sharp and strict and nagging. But when Mo Ran had destroyed that cropfield in the summer, it had been Chu Wanning who had proofread the paperwork and sweetalked the local government into submission. Not a penny had come out of Mo Ran’s salary, although she had personally gone to reseed the field. No matter how sharp Chu Wanning had been with Mo Ran, she had been holding an umbrella over her head the entire time, protecting her from the rain. No one had ever done that for her, not since her mom died.
Suddenly stupidly overcome with some emotion, Mo Ran turned to Chu Wanning and grabbed her hand.
“Mo Weiyu! What,” said Chu Wanning, pausing to take a breath, “do you think you’re doing?”
“Your hand is very cold,” said Mo Ran dumbly. She didn’t even understand why she had taken Chu Wanning’s hand, except that for a moment she truly wanted to.
“You don’t need to worry about me,” Chu Wanning said. “I can regulate my body heat.” She was, after all, a cultivator.
Although she shook off Mo Ran’s hand, Mo Ran didn’t miss the way Chu Wanning leaned ever just so slightly closer to her. When they weren’t in the office and Chu Wanning wasn’t taking every opportunity to yell at her, it was actually quite nice to spend time together.
The sky quickly grew dark. Although it was only around five in the afternoon, Mo Ran was tired from the day’s events. She eyed the little cot in the corner. There was no way both her and Chu Wanning would fit on it, unless they slept on top of each other. And with what Mo Ran now knew, she wasn’t sure that was ideal. What if her darker impulses took over? Who knew when the Sisheng team would arrive! If Xue Meng was on that team, Mo Ran would be dead in a ditch before she could even defend herself.
“Chu-qianbei,” she said cautiously, noting how Chu Wanning’s eyes were fluttering closed with every breath, before she’d jerk back awake. “Why don’t you go sleep on the bed? I’m not tired yet, I’ll keep an eye out for Sisheng.”
“I’m not tired either,” insisted Chu Wanning predictably.
“It would be good for you to get some rest. Why don’t you try lying down?”
“I’m not a child, Mo Ran.”
“Okay, okay,” Mo Ran said, waving her hands. If Chu Wanning fell asleep right here, Mo Ran would just move her to the cot.
But the conversation had invigorated Chu Wanning’s sense of competition; neither of them slept a wink that night, propped against the uncomfortable wooden wall until the sound of snow moving and scraping announced the Sisheng team’s arrival.
Mo Ran blinked red, tired eyes as she got up and stretched. She felt like she’d been run over by a truck. Chu Wanning wasn’t in much better shape; she was practically nodding off into her own chest, but every time Mo Ran would even think of moving her, she’d snap awake.
They didn’t get much time to chat on the way home. Although Xue Meng wasn’t on the team, Shi Mei was , and she’d dragged Mo Ran away to a separate train carriage before she could even chase after Chu-qianbei.
“Sleep,” said Shi Mei sternly. “Why didn’t you rest last night?”
It sounded stupid to say that Chu Wanning hadn’t gone to sleep so she didn’t want to either, or that she was concerned about who would take the bed, so Mo Ran just shrugged. “Adrenaline.”
She was already drifting off.
—
The first few days back, Mo Ran had off from work. Although nothing had really happened except being trapped in a cold ski cabin under an avalanche, Xue Zhengyong had forced both Mo Ran and Chu Wanning to take a break. It was New Year’s right after, so the time off stretched to a week.
Which was great, because Mo Ran needed real time to process, away from Chu Wanning and enclosed spaces. It wasn’t every day you found out your archnemesis colleague actually had the hots for you. Maybe even the heart tingles.
For a while, she wondered if she had imagined the entire thing. Or maybe it wasn’t true, and love anon and Chu Wanning weren’t related after all. But the proof was too loud to be just a coincidence.
She kept it a secret for the time being. There was something just not right about airing Chu Wanning’s dirty laundry. Anyone else was fair game, but not her. Mo Ran felt possessive, too, over this secret: the idea that Chu Wanning had desires like anyone else and furthermore had desires for her.
Still, despite her best efforts to be a good person, she went back and read every single confession from love anon, word for word. Some of them were sweet, and others were definitely the reason the app now had an 18+ checkbox. Chu Wanning was not overly creative, but Mo Ran’s mind filled in the gaps for her. She didn’t even have time to consider the ethical implications of jerking off to your supervisor’s awkward first time sex fantasies before she had a hand down her pants.
So out of both guilt and shame, Mo Ran tried to be inconspicuous on the first day back at the office in the new year. But Chu Wanning was everywhere. They were working on the mission report for the next week together, given that there’d been a big incident.
Mo Ran really wasn’t trying to be bad. But ever since she found out about Chu Wanning, she’d been just slightly disbelieving. Despite the undeniable proof she had seen, Mo Ran found herself wanting to push at Chu Wanning’s boundaries. Because there was no way — no way her bossy, cold, snappy supervisor really liked Mo Ran like that.
One night, when everyone else had gone home except the two of them, she leaned closer to Chu Wanning over the paperwork and said, “Want to grab dinner before going home?”
“No,” said Chu Wanning briskly, and Mo Ran felt her heart drop in disappointment. “I’ll keep working. You can go.”
“I’m not leaving until you leave,” said Mo Ran spitefully, placing her fingers back on her laptop keyboard.
“Go eat,” insisted Chu Wanning. “You aren’t helping.”
“We can get takeout,” suggested Mo Ran, sliding her chair closer. The cubicle wasn’t large, and Mo Ran’s knees were almost touching Chu Wanning’s thighs. “What do you like to eat?” Mo Ran knew what Chu Wanning liked to eat from observing her at the holiday galas, but she asked just to avoid seeming creepy.
When she got no response, she leaned in even closer. “Sweets, right? How about tofu pudding and sugar lotus roots, and steamed fish?”
Chu Wanning said between gritted teeth, “No need.”
“Come on,” Mo Ran coaxed, suddenly feeling a little bit of pity for Chu Wanning. She was always eating alone, when food was so much better with company. Mo Ran suddenly really, really wanted to feed Chu Wanning. “It’s not good to work so much without eating.” Without pause, she reached an arm over Chu Wanning’s shoulder and stilled Chu Wanning’s hand.
Chu Wanning’s entire body went stiff. “Get off,” she bit out, turning her face away so all Mo Ran could see were her red ears. She shook off Mo Ran’s arm but remained frozen, pen in hand.
Oh , realized Mo Ran in an instant. What before might have seemed like a rebuff now transformed into shy embarrassment. She likes it. Had anyone ever taken care of Chu Wanning before? Would Mo Ran be the first? It made her both a little sad and a little pleased.
She raised her hand cautiously again and put it on the small of Chu Wanning’s back, pushing lightly. Almost inaudibly, Chu Wanning let out a tiny whimper at the feeling of Mo Ran’s large, warm hand spanning her waist.
“Doesn’t your back hurt from sitting for so long?” asked Mo Ran casually, as if her own heart wasn’t about to beat out of her chest. “We can pick up the food together and eat here. Take a walk.”
After a pause, Chu Wanning whipped around. “My back is fine,” she hissed. “Go home, Mo Ran. I can keep working. You’re being distracting.”
Mo Ran raised an internal eyebrow. Distracting? But she’d seen through Chu Wanning’s facade now; she knew Chu Wanning liked to be taken care of, she just had to trick her into it. “Okay, okay, to be honest, I haven’t eaten since breakfast,” said Mo Ran, backing away. “But I hate eating alone, especially in the winter.” She took a deep breath and pulled out her best puppy dog eyes. “Chu-qianbei, you really wouldn’t make me go sit in a restaurant by myself, right?”
“Where’s Xue Meng? Shi Mei?”
“It’s a Friday night,” said Mo Ran lightly. “You can imagine where they are.”
Chu Wanning hmph-ed. “Whereever they are, I’m sure there’s better company for you than me .”
“No way,” said Mo Ran. “I get to eat with those two all the time. I never get to have a meal with the esteemed Chu-qianbei.”
Chu Wanning’s next sentence spilled out too fast, as if she had tried too hard to keep it casual and cold. “What about all the others there?”
“Others?”
“Everyone knows you’re not short of people to ‘hang out’ with,” snapped Chu Wanning, drawing her shoulders up even more and writing furiously on the stack of papers.
Normally? Mo Ran would accuse Chu Wanning of slutshaming her. Given the context of love anon? Chu Wanning sounded jealous.
“Chu-qianbei,” Mo Ran said seriously, spinning Chu Wanning’s chair around so she was facing her. Mo Ran gently took hold of both of her wrists. “You can’t really believe that any of them are more interesting than you.”
Staring at Chu Wanning’s wide eyes and parted lips, Mo Ran realized two things quickly: 1. Chu Wanning really did think she was the least interesting person in the world and 2. Even if Mo Ran didn’t desire her romantically, she sure did want to kiss her right now.
“F—” said Chu Wanning, before clearing her throat and starting over. “Fine,” she said, eyes darting away and shaking her wrists out of Mo Ran’s grasp. “Order whatever you want.”
Mo Ran internally cheered before she rolled her chair away and pulled up the food delivery app on her phone, ordering all of Chu Wanning’s favorites.
For the next week, Mo Ran and Chu Wanning stayed late at work, and every time without fail Mo Ran was able to wheedle Chu Wanning into sharing a meal with her. Mo Ran began to realize, with horror, that she gained some kind of perverse satisfaction from seeing Chu Wanning’s mouth full of food.
Things had been going so well that Mo Ran decided to really test her luck. "Chu-qianbei…" she began mournfully one evening. "I really miss home cooked food. I'm a really good cook, everyone says so. Why don't you let me make you dinner at your place?"
Chu Wanning’s ears immediately flushed red. “No need,” she said.
“Why not?”
“My place is messy.”
Chu Wanning was so organized at work, how messy could it be? “I don’t mind some mess,” said Mo Ran. “I’m not the cleanest myself.”
Thirty minutes later, Mo Ran was surveying the messiest kitchen she had ever seen. Chu Wanning was fidgeting by her side, so she gritted her teeth and strode in as if nothing was out of the ordinary. She put Chu Wanning on dish washing while she scoured the empty fridge for ingredients.
“Ground pork, eggs, scallions, minced garlic, chili oil…” she mumbled as she went shelf by shelf. “Is this all you have?” She looked over to where Chu Wanning was washing the dishes extremely meticulously, scrubbing at each plate bottom to top with the sponge. At this rate, it would take hours to clean up the sink. Mo Ran was starting to see why there was a pile-up.
“There are instant noodles in the pantry,” said Chu Wanning defensively.
“Is that what you normally eat?”
Chu Wanning didn’t answer. So that was a yes. Mo Ran let out a despairing sigh.
“Wanning, you have to let me cook for you from now on, okay? Think of your poor body,” said Mo Ran. “It’s crying for vegetables.”
“I’m not a child,” said Chu Wanning, which seemed to be one of her favorite statements.
“I don’t see you as a child,” said Mo Ran, raising an eyebrow.
The plate between Chu Wanning’s hands slipped and clanked against the side of the sink.
Mo Ran took out a few packets of instant noodles, the ground pork, scallions, ginger, and eggs. She could make pork noodles and scallion pancakes, which would taste slightly better than whatever flavoring was in the instant packets. Next time, she’d buy groceries for Chu Wanning.
In the pantry, there was flour dusted all over the floor and shelves. “Wanning, have you been baking?”
“No,” replied Chu Wanning from the sink.
The spilled flour…the ground pork…the chili oil.
“Chu Wanning,” said Mo Ran. “Have you been making red chili wontons?”
There was a louder crash from the sink this time.
Every time after Mo Ran had gotten back from a difficult mission, there’d been red chili wontons waiting at her desk. Since she’d joined the agency. She’d seen Shi Mei leaving them there once, and had always assumed it had been Shi Mei’s gift. It was part of why she’d had such a puppy crush. Just last week, Shi Mei had personally brought wonton soup to Mo Ran’s apartment on her first day off; Mo Ran had never bothered to ask who made them. If not Shi Mei, then who? Or at least that’s what she had thought.
“Wanning,” said Mo Ran more urgently, a wave of impatience snapping through her body as she walked around the small kitchen island to the sink. “Have you been making them for me?”
She spun Chu Wanning around, uncaring of the spray of water that accompanied.
“Wait a minute, Mo Ran—”
“Just answer me.”
Chu Wanning looked down, defeated, as if Mo Ran had discovered some terrible dark secret. “Yes…”
Her cute qianbei. Her cute supervisor who liked her so much she’d learn how to make the spicy food Mo Ran liked to eat, even if she couldn’t handle the spice. Her Chu Wanning, who wanted to be Mo Ran’s, be taken by her, be devoured by her.
“Thank you,” she said gently, as if calming down a startled cat. “They really meant a lot to me.”
“That’s—good,” said Chu Wanning haltingly, peering up at Mo Ran as if to make sure she wasn’t wearing a look of disgust. Whatever she saw must have been reassuring, because her tense shoulders dropped and she turned back to the dishes.
“I’ll do them later,” Mo Ran blurted out. “Just take a seat at the dinner table, the noodles shouldn’t take long.”
She hustled Chu Wanning into a chair and started cooking. First, she made dough, mixing water and flour together in a bowl until it no longer stuck to her fingers. She let that rest covered. While it sat, she threw minced garlic and cut scallions into a wok with oil, hearing it sizzle before adding ground pork and cooking wine. After the pork turned white, she added black vinegar, sugar, soy sauce, and salt, before cracking two eggs along the side of the wok.
While that bubbled away, she filled a pot with water from the kettle and set it to boil, tossing in three packets of instant noodles. When the noodles were done and rinsed with cold water and the pork had boiled down, she divided the food into two bowls and garnished the bowls with scallions, julienned cucumbers, and the fried eggs.
She placed the bowls on the dinner table and motioned for Chu Wanning to start eating. Meanwhile, Mo Ran went back to the kitchen and pulled out her dough, cutting it into two pieces and rolling it out, before adding scallions, flour, salt, and oil to each thin, round pie. She rolled them up, twisted the long ropes, then drew them into a spiral.
When she looked over, Chu Wanning hadn’t touched her food. Instead, Chu Wanning was watching her. A strange fondness bubbled up in her heart, and she could help but smile down at the oil heating up in the pan. She rolled the pancakes out thin and fried them on high heat for two minutes, before cutting them into even slices.
“Dinner’s served!” she said, grabbing her chopsticks and dropping heavily into the chair opposite Chu Wanning. “I’ll get more groceries tomorrow.”
“Don’t waste your time on that,” scolded Chu Wanning, digging into the noodles. “I can buy my own groceries.”
“But I’m eating you out of house and home,” said Mo Ran, putting on her best puppy-dog face. “How will I repay you?”
“You cooked for me, Mo Ran,” Chu Wanning said, flustered. “Eat.” She shoved noodles in her mouth and chewed, before taking another large bite. Good. So she liked it.
After dinner, Mo Ran washed the dishes and then went home with a wave. She was sure she would be back the next day. Once you broke down Chu Wanning’s walls, it was easy to force your way inside.
—
The next day, Mo Ran found herself laughing helplessly against the copier as she held her phone to her face.
I wish Mo Ran would cook for me every day for the rest of my life, read the newly posted confession. There hadn’t been a new one in a couple of weeks, with Chu Wanning presumably busy with paperwork. Mo Ran had nearly forgotten that Chu Wanning was ignorant to her discovery.
As she read the confession, she acknowledged the truth of her heart: she really wanted to cook for Chu Wanning every day for the rest of her life. She scrolled down to the second most recent confession.
The feelings that Mo Ran invokes in me…I should reach out to Guyueye for an exorcism.
Mo Ran couldn’t help it—she’d read them all before, but a smile crept onto her face anyway. Reading down the list of confessions only confirmed that she not only reciprocated Chu Wanning’s feelings, but she had to tell Chu Wanning that she liked her today. There was no other option, no more time to spare.
The mission report was just about complete. Chu Wanning offered to do the final proofread at around four in the afternoon, so Mo Ran left early to go to the grocery store. On her way out of the office, Xue Meng tugged on her coat sleeve and stopped her in the lobby.
“I haven’t seen you since the New Year’s party,” she said, crossing her arms. “Have you been avoiding us?”
“No,” said Mo Ran breathlessly. “Listen, Mengmeng, we should definitely catch up on a day that is not today. But I’m in a hurry right now.”
“Where are you going?”
“The supermarket.”
Mo Ran felt faintly irritated as Xue Meng tailed her out the door and into the frosty air.
“Go home,” she said, shoving at Xue Meng.
Xue Meng, predictably, shoved back. “It’s been so long, and you won’t even let me walk with you to the store?”
“No,” Mo Ran repeated. “Go home or I’m calling Mei Hanxue.”
“Which one?”
“Does it matter?”
“Of course it matters!” Xue Meng shook her head. “Whatever! Keep your secrets. I’m going home, but I’m going to bring Shi Mei to bother you next time.”
“Sure, sure,” said Mo Ran distractedly, swivelling her head to make sure Xue Meng really had gone. She wanted to have dinner ready by the time Chu Wanning got back, so she had to move fast.
After groceries, she took the train to Chu Wanning’s apartment and pressed the key code Chu Wanning had entrusted her with this morning. The kitchen was much cleaner than yesterday, and she got to work unpacking groceries, chopping lotus root and winter melon, and filling a bowl with meat for meatballs. In another bowl, she soaked vermicelli and woodear mushrooms. Chu Wanning didn’t even keep most spices, so Mo Ran had bought goji berries, ginger, leek, and dried shrimp skin.
By the time Chu Wanning stepped in, the entire apartment was suffused in fragrance by the slow-cooking soup still on the stove and the array of dishes. The rice beeped just in time.
“Wanning!” Mo Ran said, cheeks rosy from the heat, sleeves of her dress shirt pushed up to the elbows.
Chu Wanning stood in the doorway for a long moment, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.
“It smells good,” she said quietly, then took off her coat and put her bag down.
Mo Ran barely ate. She spent most of the time picking at various dishes and watching Chu Wanning eat. The steam from Chu Wanning’s bowl of soup was tinging her pretty porcelain cheeks a light pink. Mo Ran liked seeing her after work, casual, collar just slightly loosened and stray hairs falling around her face.
When the table cleared, Mo Ran didn’t immediately move to wash the dishes, like she normally would. Instead, as Chu Wanning stood to put her bowl in the sink, Mo Ran grabbed her wrist.
“Chu-qianbei,” Mo Ran said, “I’m sorry, but I have to tell you something.”
Chu Wanning put the bowl back down on the table. “Is it about the report? I just submitted it, so it’s too late to make edits.”
“No,” said Mo Ran, standing up so she was towering over Chu Wanning. They were close enough that if she wanted to, she could sweep Chu Wanning into her arms and kiss her until she was dizzy. “It’s a personal matter.”
Mo Ran could feel Chu Wanning’s hand trembling in her grasp.
“Have you heard of the Sisheng Peak Anonymous Confessions app?”
“No,” said Chu Wanning very fast, turning her head away. “If you’re done talking about office gossip, help me clean up.”
“I’m not done,” said Mo Ran, stepping closer, a helplessly sleazy smile on her face. “Well, I found out something interesting about it a week or two ago. You see, there’s this one anonymous confessor.”
“Mo Ran!” snapped Chu Wanning the way a cornered cat might hiss and swipe at a much larger predator.
“They’ve been saying really quite depraved things about me,” Mo Ran continued, stepping forward until Chu Wanning was backed up against the wall. “But some of it is sweet, too.”
“Mo Ran,” repeated Chu Wanning, eyes darting back and forth. But Mo Ran wouldn’t let her escape that easily.
Casually, she said, “Apparently, they’re in love with me.”
At that, the greatest secret of her life so easily said out loud, Chu Wanning visibly lost her will to fight. She was just trembling now, with her head down, as curled in on herself as she could be with Mo Ran still holding one of her wrists.
“What was the point of all of this…” she said, her voice laced with humiliation. “The dinner…spending time together…was it funny?”
“What?” said Mo Ran, taken aback. Her grip on Chu Wanning’s wrist loosened.
“I know I’m old and undesirable,” said Chu Wanning, voice shaking but nevertheless angry. She looked up, and Mo Ran was startled to see her eyes wet. “Why do you have to remind me?”
Mo Ran’s heart broke and rebroke quietly. After a brief moment of pause, she said, “You’re wrong. How could you think you’re undesirable?”
Chu Wanning’s eyes widened.
“I don’t know why you would like me,” said Mo Ran. “I’m young and foolish. I don’t deserve your like, much less your love.”
The fear and the humiliation were beginning to seep out of Chu Wanning’s face.
“Wanning,” said Mo Ran into the space between them, quietly but earnestly. She was close enough that she could count Chu Wanning’s eyelashes, the sweep of them fluttering against pink cheeks.
“Watch your tone,” said Chu Wanning without any heat. She seemed to sway forward, as if she was subconsciously drawn to the heat of Mo Ran’s body.
“...sorry,” Mo Ran said, gently tangling her fingers with Chu Wanning’s. Chu Wanning flinched away slightly, but Mo Ran held on, held on tighter. “Chu-qianbei.”
She had to convince her somehow. How could there be words enough to describe the foreign feeling in her chest when she saw Chu Wanning? Or that itch she got under her skin, urging her to follow Chu Wanning around, get her attention, soak in her praise? Or even just that, she found Chu Wanning more interesting than anyone, she wanted to accompany her forever, she wanted to hold an umbrella for her for the rest of their lives?
“Chu-qianbei,” she called again, and although Chu Wanning drew away, her hold on Mo Ran’s hand strengthened. “Forgive my unearned audacity,” she said. “But I like you. Not just as colleagues. The type of like from one woman to another. I like you.”
There was a long silence, but Mo Ran waited patiently.
Chu Wanning had gone completely rigid, breathing so quietly Mo Ran could barely hear her even though they were standing so close.
“...but I’m ugly,” she finally said, looking away.
“Wanning,” said Mo Ran exasperatedly, even though she knew Chu Wanning thought this. “You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen.”
Chu Wanning startled back at that, eyes wide and cheeks red. “My temper is bad, and I’m always picking on you.”
“You won’t convince me you’re the worst,” said Mo Ran. “In my eyes, everything you are is everything I want.”
“I’m—I’ve never dated before,” mumbled Chu Wanning.
“Then let me be the first,” said Mo Ran. “I’m begging you.”
With a surge of confidence, she pulled Chu Wanning into her arms, and rested her cheek on the top of Chu Wanning’s head.
“Wanning,” she said again. “I’m whiny and annoying. I’ve done so many bad things, wronged so many people, made so many mistakes. Last week, I dropped your paperwork again, and although I pretended nothing happened, I picked them up in the wrong order.”
Chu Wanning beat a fist against Mo Ran’s back.
“I like you, although I’m not good. Wanning, what about you?”
Of course, she already knew the answer. But she wanted Chu Wanning to be comfortable enough to admit it.
After a second, she felt a nod against her shoulder and couldn’t help but squeeze Chu Wanning even tighter.
“Mo Ran!” said Chu Wanning, muffled into Mo Ran’s right shoulder. “Let me go, you’re squeezing too hard.”
“Sorry,” said Mo Ran sheepishly, releasing Chu Wanning. She was grinning ear to ear. “I’m just really happy.”
“I’m—” said Chu Wanning, then blushed and hesitated.
“What?”
“Never mind.”
“I want to know!”
“Shut up!”
It was fine. Even if she was being tight-lipped, Mo Ran had over fifty confessions to backread in times of emergencies. When she needed the reminder.
“Wanning,” Mo Ran chirped, leaning down and bumping her forehead against Chu Wanning’s. “You know I read every single thing you posted, right?”
It took Chu Wanning a second to process just what that entailed. Her entire body froze, and then she darted under Mo Ran’s arm and across the room.
“I’ll have the app taken down right away,” she hissed, face firetruck red.
Mo Ran shrugged. “I have them all saved,” she said. “It’s my checklist. Don’t worry, baby, we’ll get them all done one by one.”
“That’s—so—shameless!” Chu Wanning bristled, but she didn’t move away as Mo Ran approached her. As Mo Ran closed the final few feet, her eyes drifted shut on their own.
“See?” murmured Mo Ran, taking Chu Wanning’s chin between her fingers. “You’re a natural. Now let me check one off.”
It was by far the worst kiss Mo Ran had ever had. Chu Wanning was stiff and unresponsive. When she did begin kissing back, it was a lot of mouth movement with very little finesse. Teeth were definitely happening. Still, Mo Ran thought, this was the best moment of her life. She couldn’t help laughing a little into Chu Wanning’s mouth, out of happiness.
Chu Wanning pulled away. “You’re laughing,” she said. “Is it…bad?”
“No,” reassured Mo Ran. “You’re very good. The best.” She leaned forward and captured Chu Wanning’s mouth again, manuevering her until Mo Ran was hovering over her on the couch. Unfortunately, this would have to do. Mo Ran had peeked into Chu Wanning’s bedroom yesterday and there was hardly a square foot of free space on the bed.
I’m making out with Chu Wanning on her couch, thought Mo Ran dazedly. In her home . She couldn’t remember how many times she’d had a fantasy just like this. Chu Wanning’s sloppy mouth and determined huffs of air as she struggled to breathe through her nose were turning Mo Ran on an embarrassing amount.
“Breathe, baby,” she said, drawing back, staring entranced at Chu Wanning’s spit-slick lips and messy hair. With one hand, she thumbed at the shell of Chu Wanning’s ear. At the instinctive full body shiver, Mo Ran grinned. Bingo. “I’m gonna make you feel good, okay?”
Knowing that every sensation was completely novel to Chu Wanning made her brain go blank with desire. Mo Ran bit down on Chu Wanning’s ear, then licked it, revelling in the way it made her hips buck up and grind against Mo Ran’s thigh. She deliberately pressed her leg against Chu Wanning’s clothed crotch, hands reaching down to cup Chu Wanning’s ass and force her to move. Her little whimpers were driving Mo Ran crazy. In a killing blow, Chu Wanning strained up and pressed a clumsy kiss to the side of Mo Ran’s neck, where she had a constellation of moles.
Mo Ran helped Chu Wanning out of her clothing with little resistance. Finally, she could do what she wanted to her Chu-qianbei. She ran her hands over the landscape of Chu Wanning’s body - over the tight breasts and muscled stomach, into the warm heat where Chu Wanning had her legs pressed together.
“Mo Ran,” admonished Chu Wanning, but it came out breathier than intended. Her hips chased after Mo Ran’s hand.
Prompted into motion, Mo Ran leaned down to bury her face in Chu Wanning’s tits. “I’ve always wanted to do this,” she groaned. She sucked and bit lightly at Chu Wanning’s nipples, teasing the tip with her tongue until Chu Wanning was making sounds of impatience and driving her hips up. Her body was honest.
Chu Wanning didn’t realize what was happening until Mo Ran had two large hands on her hips and was leaning in.
“You’re—” she said, voice wrecked. “That’s—Mo Ran, that’s dirty!”
“That’s right,” said Mo Ran. “I’m making you dirty. Chu Wanning, the best cultivator there’s ever been, reduced to a moaning whore from getting her tits sucked.”
Chu Wanning hit her on the head with a fist.
“Look baby, you’re so wet,” Mo Ran cooed, sliding a finger through the slick. “No one’s ever done this for you, huh?”
“Of—Of course not!”
Mo Ran parted Chu Wanning’s legs and dived in. The first circle of her tongue around Chu Wanning’s clit made her throw her head back and squeeze her legs around Mo Ran’s shoulders.
“You’re beautiful,” breathed Mo Ran, slipping her index finger into Chu Wanning’s fluttering, virgin pussy. “I’ll be your first and last.” Chu Wanning’s wetness was smeared around her mouth.
It didn’t take much for Chu Wanning to come; Mo Ran sucked and licked at her clit, slowly pumping two fingers in and out of her cunt, rubbing upward every stroke. Mo Ran fucked her through the orgasm, a gentle gush of slick escaping around her fingers.
“Baby, you’re so pretty,” she growled, eyes roving across Chu Wanning’s heaving chest and mouth open in pleasure. Her hips were twitching, the corners of her eyes red from tears. “The prettiest. All mine, okay? From now on, don’t look at anyone else.”
“Mo Ran,” called Chu Wanning from where she was beginning to come down. “You…” she closed her eyes. “There will never be anyone else.”
Tears pricked at Mo Ran’s eyes. So long she had waited for someone who would always look at her first, always come to her first. Someone who would be kind to her, pay attention to her, would never leave her. She was so stupid for overlooking Chu Wanning.
“What about you?” asked Chu Wanning, cutting through her thoughts. “I can…should I help?”
Mo Ran blinked back the sudden tears and smoothed some of the stray hairs sticking to Chu Wanning’s sweaty temple.
“Don’t worry,” said Mo Ran, unbuttoning her shirt with one hand. She pinched one of Chu Wanning’s nipples, eliciting a yelp. “We’re just getting started.”