Chapter Text
"Wait." He finally caught up to her as she went to close her bedroom door. "You're- you're leaving?" He hated how his voice choked over the words.
When?
She held the door open for him and nodded once, closing it behind him.
They stood in silence for a long moment, light filtering in through her window.
Finally, she spoke, regret blanketing her voice, "Me staying here was always temporary. It… wasn't supposed to be this short though." Her grip on her laptop tightened as she took a few grounding breaths. "I was just- I wasn't supposed to get attached." She wouldn't look at him.
How long do we have?
She'd said something similar before, too. "What were you supposed to be doing here?" He didn't mean that to sound harsh.
Her bitter laugh had him wanting to reach out. Again, he held himself back, certain it would be unwelcome. "The closest compromise we could get to me getting to live my dream."
She hugged her laptop and went to sit on her bed. She had left room for him next to her, but he leaned against the wall instead. "I wanted to be a child psychologist, help children of neglect and abuse." A small smile crossed his lips – that dream suited her – matching the sad one on hers. "But, life gets in the way of plans and dreams. I managed to graduate. But, we-" she paused, considering her words. "It will make more sense when Danny answers your questions. But, we needed insight on redirecting or reasoning with people with obsessive and violent personalities. Gotham – Arkham – is the best place for that. That I could practice psychology and potentially help people here, too, was the closest I could come to the life I'd wanted growing up. It made me the best - only - person to do this."
Don't leave.
"You came here to learn to reason with our Rogues?" The snark slipped out of his mouth before he could form one of his more vulnerable questions. He rolled with the deflection anyway, "Has sitting down with the Joker really ever helped anyone?"
Jazz's expression turned dark, "Not the Joker. We already know how to recognize and handle someone that will gleefully hurt those around them without reason or restraint." A chill went up Jason's spine, a sharp contradiction to the warmth spreading through his chest. Every reminder that this cinnamon roll was dangerous snuck up on him. But, to know she acknowledged Joker as irredeemable, even as she didn't know he'd been responsible for Jason's death, to know that Jazz would be on his side on this, to know someone didn't think he was a monster for not wanting to reason with the man… it warmed his heart.
"Many of the others have been a huge help though," Jazz continued. "And a lot of them can turn things around if they get proper support. They'll never be normal citizens, of course. But, if they had reason to be more committed to their own recovery, they could stop escaping as frequently, even cut back on the intentional murders, assaults, and reckless endangerment. The changes I've been trying to make might've helped, given time." She clenched her laptop to her chest, "If I'd just had a little more time, maybe I could've convinced someone. Maybe I could've made a difference for someone, anyone."
"You're really okay leaving it like this?"
Will I see you again?
He immediately recoiled at her sharp glare.
"Of course I'm not!"
Her expression softened, "But, Danny was right. It's not going to be safe here for me much longer. And, if the GIW or Vlad find anything of interest when they get here - anything worth attacking, capturing, studying, or killing - it will only make the situation worse. Nevermind if they actually manage to find and capture me," she shuddered. "I would become a hostage that served Danny up on a silver platter in his rescue." Once again, Danny was the target. Jason wanted to argue that her being captured was important in itself. She gave him a wry grin. "Besides, our working plan of action is to try to keep anything interesting as far away from them as possible. That would include me."
The grin turned into a smirk that tried to be mischievous, "At least I was able to bargain to get you those answers I promised. I managed to do something good out of this whole mess. Right?" The smirk wavered, a mask of teasing to hide her uncertainty.
He would've preferred her over answers.
What good did answers about her do him if she wasn't here?
"You could–" he felt heat in the tips of his ears as he fumbled his words – "come back. Maybe? After."
Her eyes cast down briefly as her shoulders sagged, before returning to his. "Even if I could find this much time again away from my duties, breaking my contract with Arkham will make me ineligible for future employment. Even if I somehow could snag my job back, Batman has made it clear my brother and I are not welcome here and would do what he can to keep us out." Jason furrowed his brow, had that been part of B's meeting with Danny? Maybe it was something he could help with. "Even if Batman wasn't against us, specifically, he would likely still consider us metas and not want us in the city. And, even if Batman wasn't hostile, the main reason I would've wanted to return, even if just to visit, doesn't-" Jazz cut herself off, as she searched his eyes, "I don't think he'd want me to come back here anyway. If we could even patch things up."
Jason felt his face heat up at the admission. She would've visited. She would've come back just to see him again. He didn't look away. He didn't look away. He refused to look away. "I think he would prefer it if you didn't have to leave in the first place." The admission felt awkward, but he forged ahead regardless, "But, since you do, he'd want you to be safe. And would definitely like to see you again." He kept his eyes on her as his blush deepened.
"He- I would also like the chance to make amends for how I acted. And to see you more, too. Now. Before you leave. If you'd like?" He felt his heart fluttering, hanging on her response before he'd even finished his question.
Her lips parted slightly. He wanted to take them in his, ask her to never leave. He'd finally run his fingers through her hair and-
"I think I would like that," her soft voice eased the tension in his shoulders.
In the warm silence that followed, he considered making a move toward her, hoping to bridge the gap between them. He still hesitated to sit on her bed, next to her, it still felt like that would be pushing his luck.
He found himself on his knees before her, hands braced on the bed to her sides. He'd practiced his apology for days now, he refused to mess this up.
"You have shown me nothing short of compassion and respect since I met you. You never pushed my boundaries unless it was a matter of life or death. You never pressured me to share pieces of myself before I was ready. At every turn, you proved yourself worthy of my trust, and worthy of the same respect you showed me." He kept his eyes locked on hers, watching as they sparkled like a tropical sea in the faint light.
"When the time came for me to repay that respect, when something tested that trust, I buckled. I hurt you, I threatened you, I forced your secrets from you. I don't regret asking about what B brought up. But, I do regret how I did it. I should have given you space to explain yourself, the same as you gave me. Instead, I treated you like an enemy. I betrayed the trust you built. For all this, I am truly sorry. I will do whatever it takes to make amends." His arms itched to hold her. Instead, he lifted one hand and gently cupped her cheek, "I don't want to lose you. And I don't want us to be over."
The two unshed tears finally fell down her cheeks as she closed her eyes and leaned into the touch. "I don't want to lose you either."
After a pause where they both savored the touch, she opened her eyes again to return his gaze, "I won't apologize for giving you ectoplasm without your consent, though I do regret it came to that. It saved your life and I would make the same decision again in a heartbeat, even if it meant losing you in my life. But, I am sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I had hoped there was more time. More time together, more time to ease into the information, more time to share before I had to leave." She took a shaky breath, "But, we don't. And I can't stay. It may only be weeks or days before we need to leave. I can't ask you to continue a relationship like that."
He shook his head and smiled at her as best he could, "Then we have weeks or days together and will make the most of them. It doesn't have to be a relationship. I want to have that time with you, if you'll let me?"
She smiled and pressed her hand against his face in return, "Of course." Her thumb caressed his cheek thoughtfully, "It would've been nice to have the option of visiting after, too. To not have to say goodbye with such finality."
Jason hummed in agreement, then smirked at her, "I suppose that just means I have to be the one to visit you instead."
Her eyes widened, then she chuckled, "I would like that a lot. But, I'm sure you'll reconsider when you learn more about what all that would entail." She cautiously leaned forward, giving him every chance to withdraw, and pressed her forehead to his. "The offer still means the world to me. Thank you."
He nodded around the lump in his throat.
"So, are we still-"
There came a knock on the bedroom door. Danny's muffled voice proclaimed, "Dinner's here!" Then a grumbled, "I got enough for the asshole, too. He's plenty welcome to take it and fuck off though!"
"Be right there!" Jazz called back, Jason ignored how his heart lurched as she pulled away. Then she sighed and rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry about him, too. He's very protective. I'll try to talk to him again."
Jason just smiled and shook his head, hopefully subtle in the way he leaned into her hand, "He's looking out for you, don't be sorry about that. His issue is with me, and it's not entirely unfounded. We'll sort it out in time."
His eyes took on a determined edge, trying to will her to believe his next words, "I'll make sure we have as much time as possible."
She smiled as her cheeks lit up at the promise. He gently brushed over one with his thumb, as she'd done to him. His gaze held hers as he hadn't been able to capture it all evening. He memorized the patterns in her eyes.
They both jumped as banging erupted from the door. "I swear if you're holding up food so you can keep making out in there, no one will ever find your bodies!"
Jason couldn't help the laugh that bubbled from his chest as he went to stand. But, as he leaned forward to do so, an impulsive thought crossed his mind. He pressed his forehead against Jazz's again. His free hand rested on her waist and gently pulled her from the bed. Both blushing as he smiled down at her, grip loose, "Wouldn't want to disappoint him, now would we?"
His heart pounded in his chest at the gamble, unsure of their new boundaries and if she'd brush off the suggestion or not. He wouldn't bring it up again if she did.
Her returning smile took on a mischievous edge as well, as she closed the distance between them. "That would be a shame." He leaned in to meet her, a question on his lips.
They both jumped as something heavy collapsed against the door and slid to the floor on the other side. "Your poor, dear little brother is wasting away to nothing waiting to eat! Whatever will I do with all this food that my cruel big sister is taunting me with!"
Jazz let out the sigh of a haggard older sibling and casually bonked her head against Jason's chest. He desperately hoped no one heard how his heart stuttered at the affection. He'd missed Jazz even more than he'd realized. Would it be too much to fully wrap his arms around her now and hold her close? Would that be okay?
Too soon, she'd stepped silently away, a finger to her lips, and he let his hands fall back to his sides. Getting her hand around the knob, she yanked her door open in a swift motion. He chuckled with satisfaction as the dramatic little shit toppled to the floor from where he'd slumped himself against the door.
Jazz nudged him with her foot, unimpressed, “You’re a menace.”
Danny made a loud gagging noise like a dying animal in response before pulling himself off the floor. "You can make out with jerks as much as you want when I leave." He pinched the hem of Jazz's sweater and tugged her back to the table where he'd already laid out the Chinese food. Jason followed after, a soft smile on his face.