Chapter Text
A rainy summer day. Pitter patter. Pitter patter. The sound against Hitori's window mirrored the sound of her heart. Or at least, that's what it felt like, the past few days. She thought that crushes were supposed to be... bubbly and fluffy and fun. Or at least... not so... hard to deal with? Like a secondary thought that could be set aside, and focused on later. Not so. No, ever since her last get together with Kessoku Band, her last practice session with Kita... her mind had been on the other guitarist with a passion she'd only experienced before when learning guitar. And... at first it had been... that. Bubbly. Fluffy. Fun. Imagining them as a couple that absolutely killed it at guitar, they'd be some sort of rock power couple, right? It was exciting! She almost even started picking words for some sort of confession! A massively brave step in her opinion!
Then she started thinking. And thinking. And thinking. Until it simply became overthinking. Kita was extroverted, fun, girlish, nice, sweet. There was no way she'd fall for a wallflower like Hitori Gotou. Someone who spent a large portion of her school years playing guitar in her closet. Someone who couldn't hide from her own nasty little thoughts, the ones that made her feel so much smaller than what she was. And besides. Kita liked Ryo. Practically screamed her adoration for her any chance she got. There was no chance she'd like some... sub-waterflea half-assed guitarist shut-in.
As Hitori was immersed deeply in these thoughts, staring at the ceiling, following little cracks with her eyes, a bright light burst forth. For a moment, she thought she'd gone blind! Maybe she had? A punishment for falling for the goddess of her school, perhaps?!?! Ah. No. She recognized the silhouette looming over her. "Bocchi!!!," the voice worriedly cried out, the source kneeling down before her. As Hitori's eyes adjusted to the light, she saw a slightly dampened Nijika. Behind her loomed the ever-stoic Ryo, aloof as she pushes in behind her, raising a hand. "Ah. Nijika, Ryo," She deadpans, slowly sitting up as a third head pushes into her room, catching her breath in her throat. Kita. Still pretty. Still radiant, even.
"Don't you 'Ah' me! You've been ignoring us for days!!! Big Sis has been down our throats about you for a week, now! You... you call out if you're gonna do something like this, y'know? And... besides... we were worried. All of us. You... weren't answering LOINE or anything..." Nijika said, finishing softly. She looked to the pink haired girl and frowned. "What's wrong?" The blonde could easily tell something was. Bocchi had made so much progress. Grown so much from the girl hiding in a mango box. So... to go so far back, even if for just a moment... something was up. And the drummer'd find out what.
Hitori felt horrible. Like garbage. She'd ignored her guitar. Her friends. Her job. Nijika, Kita, Ryo... they all were worried for her while she was... moping. About some fantasy crush she'd probably be over in due time. It was hard to really say she was going to be over it, though, especially as the redhead looked at her with worry, and some greedy part of her wanted to keep those eyes on her. To have those golden eyes glued to her. It was like her wish to have people crazy for her band all over again... Wishing too much, wanting too much, expecting too much. But... Nijika wanted to know what was wrong, too. Did she lie? Did she tell some half-truth? She... she wasn't sure. But the part of her that couldn't lie, because Nijika come all this way, worried for her, had her answering before she could stop herself.
"It's... It's a... um...," No. Stop. You can stop yourself now, and just say it's a cold or something, and they'd be fine, "I-It's a... c-c-c-c...," Cold. Come on now. Just say cold, damn it! It's not hard, "I-It's a crush!" No! No! No! Hands covering her face, face red, steam billowing off of her, she stammers out, "N-No! I meant! Um! A cold! Mistake! Forget it!" She had to try to course correct. To cover herself.
Ryo seemed to have gotten that idea, as she goes, "I thought you'd died. I lit incense for you in the shrine I used for Ikuyo. RIP." That was enough to have the redhead whip her head to the bassist, looking some flavor of upset. "I--! Senpai! I thought--!" "You're not dead. I thought Bocchi was. That's all." Nijika sighed in frustration, pinching the bridge of her nose. Of course Ryo'd try to cover for something like this. No. They had to tackle this head on and help the guitarist through this. This crush clearly had Bocchi... well, crushed.
"Hitori, you don't have to tell me now. Or ever! But... if you feel like you can trust me with it; tell me over LOINE. Okay? Ryo and I are headed back home, for the night, and we'll tell Big Sis you were too sick to come in, or even call in, and get you another day off. Hope to see ya after?" Hitori swallowed and sheepishly nodded. The offer didn't sound... too bad. Just Nijika. Nijika'd held onto her 'guitarhero' secret without a problem. Figured it out on her own and never told anyone. It... was nice to know she could confide in her. Maybe she would.
Kita leaned down and gave Hitori a quick, tight hug. "I'm glad you're okay. Ryo joking about you being dead on the way here... it scared me. You're... you're important to me, to us, Hitori," She admitted, tightening her grip a little more before releasing. It was more direct than Hitori'd been ready for. More Kita than she'd been ready for. But the words stuck with her as the redhead and the others slipped out. The warmth around her lingered for a while after they'd left, leaving her sitting in her room, silently mouthing out those words as she sat there, heart pounding.
'You're important to me.'
Faster and faster, she put them through her head, trying to wrap her mind with it. She was important to Kita. She was important to all of them, and that definitely mattered, but... she was important to Kita. The girl who had the whole of their class practically giddy to see the big old grin she wore. She was important to her. As she grabbed her phone from the floor, staring at it intensely, she swallowed. There was a chance Kita'd see. And if Ryo did, who knew how long that secret would stay that way. But... but she'd take the risk. But... what if the band fell apart because... no!!! She'd... she'd say this! If Kita could see a closet full of their promotional photo and still look her in the eye... would this be much different if it wasn't requited?
With a fervent attitude, she was tapping open LOINE and opening her private chat with Nijika, the place she'd shot jokes she thought the drummer'd like, and secrets she felt she could trust her with (though much smaller than this was, certainly). Tapping out her message... deleting it, tapping it out again, deleting it again, and finally tapping it out to be sent, she takes a deep breath. It was two words. She could send this, and Nijika'd know, and only she'd know.
As they'd entered the train station, waving off Kita, Nijika's phone chimed, prompting a quick, "It's Bocchi," from Ryo. Knowing the pink haired girl, it very well could have been. Their chance encounter at the park had already left them with few barriers, so... maybe Bocchi didn't have trouble telling her. Taking out her phone, and getting into LOINE, she stares at the message she's given, narrowing her eyes and rereading it. Multiple times. She was... a bit dumbstruck. The girl seemed a touch more outgoing than Hitori's type'd be, to say the least.
Written simply, with no attempts to skirt around it, Bocchi'd sent her, 'It's Kita.' Nijika wasn't sure what she'd do, but she was certain to hide her phone from Ryo. Pride in Bocchi aside. She couldn't keep a secret like this. But that did mean she had to laugh off the "What'd she say?" with a nervous, "Oh... y'know... normal Bocchi stuff. That she was a changed woman and that she'd never leave us on a no-call situation like that again, haha!" With that, she headed further into the station. She'd have to talk to Hitori about this when she got home. Pumping her fist, she psyched herself up for it. It'd certainly take a lot to get the shut-in to-- Ah. Her phone's going off again. Hitori. 'I mean! She's our vocalist! That's all!!!' An awful lot to get the shut-in anywhere close to confessing.