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“Cheer up, Pads, have a drink.”
It was only luck (and his quite impressive reflexes, sometimes he felt his skills were wasted as a Beater) that prevented the bottle of Firewhisky from crashing to the floor.
“Merlin, Prongs,” he snarled, his heart stuttering in his chest as he straightened up, twisting the cap off the bottle. “That was bloody close.”
“Don’t just sit there sulking then,” James grinned, teeth flashing in the dim light even when Sirius flipped him off, taking a big gulp from the bottle.
“I’m not sulking,” he muttered (sulkily), wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and slamming the bottle back down on the table.
“Uhuh,” James nodded, a knowing glint in his eyes as they travelled from Sirius to the dance floor, a mop of brownish curls that looked almost golden in the flickering lights of their common room visible between all the bouncing bodies.
“Fuck you,” declared Sirius solemnly. “Since when does he dance anyway?”
“Since McDonald asked him,” James supplied, entirely unhelpful. “Or maybe it was Meadowes actually…or Vance?”
Sirius glowered at his friend, something dark and twisty hissing inside of him as James’ words registered with him. He grabbed the bottle again, taking another swig.
“Ew, that’s disgusting, Black. Use a glass!”
“Sod off, Evans!” Sirius snapped, earning a Hey! from James and a snort from Lily as she placed a glass in front of him.
“I thought you were supposed to have manners,” she bit back before sailing off, and Sirius glared at her before looking back at his friend who was staring after her with a lovesick sort of expression on his face that made Sirius’ stomach turn.
“Give it up already, she can’t stand you,” he grumbled cruelly, taking another swig from the bottle out of pure spite, purposefully pushing the glass out of the way.
“Fuck you, Black,” James said, his brows pulling together in a scowl as he studied him, “No need to get nasty, it’s not my fault he’s dancing.”
Sirius felt a stab of guilt because he knew James had a point, and he tilted his head slightly as if to acknowledge that. James looked at him for another half-second, eyes glinting behind his glasses, before his expression softened. He exhaled a sigh.
“You could just go over there, y’know,” James said, as if it was the easiest thing in the world when it was just not.
Nothing about this was easy.
He didn’t even want to be there. He never would have agreed to something as lame as Valentine’s party if Prongs hadn’t let himself be convinced. Of course his best friend hadn’t been able to say no when Lily had asked him and somehow Sirius had been roped into sneaking off to Hogsmeade to stock up on their alcohol supply.
The Ravenclaw common room looked nothing like how he remembered it from the last time he had been there. Instead of the blue and bronze that usually decorated the room, there were now swathes of pink and red fabric interspersed with golden hearts around the walls and draped over the bookshelves. There were conjured fairies zooming around the room, and the faint buzzing coming from them somehow cut through the music and was starting to get on Sirius’ nerves.
It was ridiculous. Valentine’s Day was ridiculous. This party was ridiculous. Everything was ridiculous and no-one else seemed to care. James was too far gone into his obsession with Lily fucking Evans and Remus. Remus was dancing. With Mary of all people and the realisation made something vicious coil and hiss inside of him.
Sirius looked when Remus disentangled himself from the crowd, making his way across the room towards where he was sitting. He looked happy, face a little flushed even in the dim light, a few curls stuck to his forehead as he slumped down on the seat next to Sirius.
“Can I?” he asked, not waiting for a reply before he grabbed a butterbeer that stood on the table, taking a swig. “Pretty good party, isn’t it?”
Sirius shrugged, tearing his eyes away to look at the people dancing again, the base of the music thundering through him. He could feel Remus’ presence next to him, the pull of his magic and his own surging in response.
“What’s got your wand in a knot?” Remus asked when he didn’t get a reply, nudging against him lightly and Sirius felt an irrational surge of irritation as he moved away slightly, brows pulling together into a scowl.
“Nothing.”
“C’mon,” Remus coaxed, leaning a little closer as he shifted so that their knees knocked together. “Since when is Sirius Black not the life of the party?”
“I don’t know, since when do you dance?” Sirius shot back snidely, staring stubbornly across the room where James was clearly trying to chat up Evans. Again. Sirius loved him to death, but the guy clearly didn’t know when to just give up.
“What?”
Sirius half-turned to glance quickly at Remus, the puzzled look on his face, the hint of hurt there, but he immediately quashed the twist of guilt in the pit of his stomach. Instead he stood up abruptly, shoving his hands into his pockets.
“I’m tired, I’m going to bed.”
“Sirius, wait–“
Sirius ignored him as he stomped off, pushing through the people that were milling about, aiming for the door. It got easier to breathe the second he’d closed the door to the common room behind him, not thinking as he hurried down the spiral staircase that led to the fifth floor. The music couldn’t be heard from here, only Sirius’ own slightly rapid breathing.
He hesitated for a moment at the bottom of the stairs, suddenly wishing he’d taken James’ cloak or at least the map. He didn’t like walking back to the Gryffindor tower without either of them, and considering how the rest of his day had gone, if he was ever to get caught out of bed it would probably be tonight.
He walked briskly towards the opposite end of the corridor. He knew that there was a tapestry there covering up a passageway which led straight across the castle and came out near the entrance to the Gryffindor tower. His heart was still pounding too hard in his chest and there was an uncomfortable knot in the pit of his stomach. He was surprised he made it all the way back to the common room without getting found out.
“Amortentia,” he muttered, tapping his foot impatiently against the floor as he waited for the portrait to swing open.
He climbed through the opening, ignoring the Fat Lady’s cheerful chipper behind him and he stormed up the stairs to their dorm. It was empty, of course, the rest of them still at the party. Sirius felt his magic crackle underneath his skin, surging with his own temper, and when he flicked his wand in the direction of the record player to get it going it was with enough force to send the pile of records slide off the bench and onto the floor.
He snorted to himself, not bothering to pick them up, instead he almost tripped over his own trunk where it had been dragged out into the centre of the room earlier that day. He swore loudly, kicking at it and then swore again as the pain of it registered with him and he slumped down on the edge of his bed. He ran his fingers through his hair, tugging at it in frustration.
He didn’t know why he was in such a foul mood, but he couldn’t shake it off either. He dropped back against the bed with a groan, closing his eyes. Whenever he did though, all he could see was Remus dancing. The way Mary had been clinging to him on the dance floor, how his curls fell down in front of his face as he leant down to hear what she was shouting into his ear.
Remus had been weird with him all day, barely talking during breakfast and then keeping out of the way between their classes. He hadn’t even been at lunch, at least not during the time Sirius had spent in the Great Hall, and when he had asked him about it during Transfiguration he’d blamed his prefect duties.
Sirius had sneaked off to Hogsmeade with James straight after classes had ended to stock up ahead of the party, and by the time they got back to their dorm to get ready, Remus hadn’t been there. He didn’t know where he had been, but by the time he and James got to the Ravenclaw tower Remus was already there, sitting in a corner and chatting with Mary, a Ravenclaw student that was a year above them and who used to bum smokes off Sirius by the greenhouses. Sirius groaned at himself as he rolled over onto his stomach, pushing his face into the covers with a dramatic sigh.
“Padfoot?”
Remus' voice startled him and he jerked his head up, pushing himself into sitting. Remus was standing in the middle of the room, a tension over his shoulder and something uncertain over his eyes that stirred something in Sirius’ chest.
“You alright?”
Sirius shrugged, brows pulled together into a frown as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“What are you doing here?”
It was Remus' turn to shrug then, “Just checking in on you. I saw on the map you’d come back here.”
“What about the party?” Sirius asked before he could stop himself.
“What about the party?” Remus returned, watching him with an unreadable expression on his face.
Sirius waved a hand in frustration, “You looked like you were having fun, all dancing and stuff.”
Remus huffed out an annoyed sigh, “What’s your obsession with me dancing? I was just having fun. It was a party.”
“Yeah, you looked like you were having plenty fun,” Sirius muttered snidely, crossing his arms across his chest.
“What the fuck is your problem?” Remus snapped, glaring at him. “You’re behaving like an idiot!”
“Oh am I?” Sirius snarled, standing up. “Am I?”
“Yes,” Remus exclaimed, throwing his arms out. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong with me?” Sirius shouted, his magic surging along with the rage that flared in his chest. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe you can ask Mary about it.”
Remus stared at him, mouth open for a moment before something flashed behind his eyes.
“What are you on about?!”
“Just go back to the party, Moony,” Sirius snapped. “You don’t want to miss out on all of the fun and the dancing.”
Remus’ jaw worked for a moment before he shook his head, his shoulders dropping slightly, “You’re fucking mad.”
“I’m surprised you even noticed I was gone,” Sirius sulked, annoyance still simmering through him. “You seemed to be plenty busy without me.”
Remus scrubbed a hand across his face, “Are you fucking kidding me? I’m here, aren’t I? I left that stupid fucking party to come and check on you.”
“Well, I didn’t ask you to do that,” Sirius shot back. “So by all means, go back to your precious party, don’t let me stop you. Seemed like Mary had a lot of interesting things to tell you and by the way, I think–“
Sirius was cut off as two things happened at once, the first one was Remus closing the distance between them with two long strides, his hands curling into the front of Sirius’ shirt as he tugged him close, pressing their lips together and muffling the rest of the words that Sirius was trying to get out. The second one was that Sirius’ brain shut down.
His mind went completely blank, but his body responded automatically as his own hands came up to grab at Remus’ upper arms, one of his legs edging between Remus’ as he pressed tightly against him. Remus was kissing him with such force it made his head spin, his lips hot and insistent against Sirius as his tongue pushed between Sirius’ lips. Sirius parted them without thinking, a strangled sort of sound escaping him that made Remus make a noise in return that made Sirius’ knees go weak.
He didn’t know how long the kiss went on for but it felt like forever, the two of them not breaking apart until they were both desperate for air, Sirius panting harshly as Remus pulled back a little. Remus' eyes shone like gold, and his cheeks were a little flushed. Sirius was fairly sure that he had a similar blush dusted across his own face but he chose to ignore it, his eyes still greedily drinking in every detail of Remus’ face.
This close he could see every single freckle across his nose, otherwise barely visible this time of the year. He could see the one scar that split Remus’ left brow and ran down his face to his upperlip, pulling his mouth down and making his smile a little crooked. He wasn’t smiling now though, expression perfectly serious as he studied Sirius with such intensity that it made Sirius’ breath hitch.
“Didn’t know how to get you to shut up,” Remus said, his voice dropped low and a little hoarse, making something hot stir in Sirius’ belly, “Never know how to get you to shut the fuck–“
This time it was Sirius who surged forward, crashing their mouths together again, walking Remus backwards until he was stumbling up against one of the bedposts on James’ bed. He felt a flare of arousal running through him as Remus’ melted against him, opening up easily, and Sirius ran his tongue over Remus’ teeth, snagging a little on his chipped tooth. He felt Remus’ hands roam over his back, down against his hips as he pushed them snugly together.
“Fuck,” Sirius gasped as they broke apart, dropping his head against Remus’ shoulder, his own breathing rapid and he could feel the way Remus’ heart pounded harshly.
“Yeah,” agreed Remus as his hands slid off Sirius, his head rolling back against the post as he watched Sirius with half-lidded eyes.
“Why did you…?“ Sirius started, his pulse thrumming through his veins as he pushed himself up straight.
He put some distance between them, not quite taking a step back but tilting his head back a little. It was new, having to do that, but Remus had hit a growth spurt the previous summer and shot up. He was now a couple of inches taller than Sirius, something he looked far too smug about, especially now as his gaze flicked from Sirius’ mouth to his eyes.
“Told you, didn’t know how else to shut you up,” he drawled, lips twitching into a smirk that sent heat sizzling down Sirius’ spine. “It’s very difficult to get you to stop talking once you get going.”
Sirius snorted, his gaze narrowing as he glared at Remus. His lips were bruised, swollen and a little slick from spit and Sirius wanted to taste him again. His body tipped forward slightly, almost without him being aware of it, catching himself last second as he straightened back up. He didn’t miss the triumphant glint in Remus’ eye, the small pull at the corner of his mouth and he felt himself flush hotly.
“Arsehole,” he muttered sourly, unable to look away from Remus’ eyes once he got caught in them again. “You can’t just walk around kissing people to get them to shut up.”
Remus raised an eyebrow at him, “I dunno, I think it worked fine.”
Sirius snorted, “It did not!”
Remus laughed, a low and rumbling sound that didn’t sound like his laugh usually sounded.
“It did for a moment.”
“This isn’t a joke,” Sirius snarled, his temper flaring again, moving to step away but Remus was surprisingly strong when he wanted to, fingers tightening against Sirius’ hips to prevent him from moving away.
It wasn’t a joke, not to Sirius. The way the light bounced off Remus' curls wasn’t a joke, the way his eyes flickered with gold when he was reading in front of the fire wasn’t a joke. The way Sirius couldn’t fucking breathe when Remus was looking at him wasn’t a joke. But none of that seemed to matter to Remus who looked like it was perfectly fucking normal for him to walk about and kissing classmates. And maybe it was, Sirius thought darkly. He’d seen Remus with Mary earlier. Maybe he did walk around randomly kissing people and Sirius just hadn’t noticed before.
“Sorry,” Remus grinned, pulling Sirius’ attention back at him, and at Sirius' glare his expression smoothed out a little and he looked mostly serious as he watched him closely for a moment. “You really are an idiot, Sirius Black.”
“Fuck you,” Sirius huffed, his brows pulling together.
There was a hint of a twitch at the corner of Remus’ mouth but he managed to keep his expression under control.
“You’re jealous,” he said, instead, a statement more than anything.
“Jealous?” Sirius spluttered, his heart racing. “I’m not fucking jealous. Why should I be jealous? Jealous?!”
Remus didn’t seem too worried about his outburst, and there was definitely a hint of amusement behind his eyes now even though his face otherwise didn’t betray anything.
“Course not,” Remus said solemnly, “you seemed to be perfectly fine with me hanging with Mary earlier.”
“Well, she’s an idiot.”
Remus snorted, but it was a soft sound, his fingers tightening as he pulled Sirius a little closer to him.
“There’s a really easy way for you to not have to be jealous, y’know.”
“I’m not fucking jealous,” Sirius snarled, anger spiking in his chest again.
Remus rolled his eyes, “Fine, you’re not fucking jealous, except that you are, but the next time there’s a fucking party you should pluck up the bloody courage and just ask me to go, y’know. Or at least ask me to dance instead of just sulking in a corner.”
Sirius stared at him, “What?!”
“Sometimes you’re really bloody thick,” Remus said with an exasperated sigh, but there was still something soft wrapped around the words. “You don’t have to be jealous, you bloody idiot. I didn’t kiss you just to shut you up, you lunatic, you think that’s how I go around dealing with loud people? Would’ve had to snog Prongs senseless by now if that was it. I kissed you because I wanted to, and because it seemed as if you’ve wanted it for a while too. Been waiting for you to do something about it but you never did and I just…got tired of waiting.”
Remus fell silent then, that same half-smirk on his lips still but this close Sirius could tell he was nervous. He could see it in the tension over his shoulder, the way there was a little hitch in his breath as he exhaled between taut lips. Remus’ voice filtered through the haze in his brain, words rattling through him, his heart pounding so hard in Sirius’ chest that he was worried it might escape.
Remus was still watching him, his gaze thrillingly focused and a little bit narrowed, flitting over Sirius’ face. Sirius saw him get stuck on his mouth and he parted his lips slightly, running his tongue lightly over his bottom lip and he didn’t miss the way Remus’ eyes darkened slightly and it made hotness pool in his belly.
Oh.
Sirius didn’t know what to say. His mind was hopelessly blank, his heart racing and he could feel himself going hot all over. He sucked in a breath, unable to think a single coherent thought as he surged forward again, crashing their mouths together once more, his fingers coming up to fist into Remus’ shirt as he tugged him closer still. When they broke apart again, Sirius gulped down air as if he was drowning, his head swimming and he wasn’t sure if it was because of the lack of oxygen or just Remus.
“What was that for?” Remus asked, and Godric, his voice. Sirius could practically feel his knees buckle.
“Needed you to shut up for a moment,” Sirius replied, quicksharp, and when Remus threw back his head to laugh Sirius very nearly pounced on him again.
“I wasn’t talking,” Remus pointed out, the previous tension almost completely gone, his eyes dancing as he looked at Sirius. “I was done.”
Sirius’ mouth pulled into a grin, warmth sizzling through him, “Must’ve been working then. Good to know.”
“I’ve created a monster,” complained Remus dramatically, and this time it was Sirius’ turn to bark out a laugh, tugging Remus along as he walked himself backwards towards his own bed.
He sat down, pulling Remus down with him, almost on top of him, their legs pressed together. Remus was watching him, a little warily now, worry seeping through into his eyes as Sirius gave him a smile that he hoped was reassuring.
“You really meant that?” he asked, after a moment.
“Meant what?” Remus returned almost immediately.
“That you’ve wanted to do that for a while,” Sirius exhaled, his own eyes flickering to the closed door behind Remus’ and then back and he could feel his own face heating but he pushed on. “The…kissing.”
Remus watched him for a moment and then he smiled, not the cocky smirk from before but a softer version, the one Sirius only ever saw in the early hours of the morning before Remus had quite woken up properly. Remus blushed too, Sirius was sure of it, even if it wasn’t as obvious as it was on Sirius’ porcelain skin. He could almost feel it though, the heat, and he was gripped by a sudden urge to taste the flush on his skin.
“Yeah, was waiting for you to catch up but I forgot what a twit you are.”
“Git,” Sirius huffed, but he couldn’t stop the happy grin that pulled across his face.
“Prat,” Remus retorted.
“Wanker.”
Remus mock-gasped, his hand coming up to clamp over the back of Sirius’ neck, giving him a squeeze that sent something hot sizzle through him.
“I’d be careful if I were you.”
“Or what?” Sirius asked, squirming a little against the grip but not really to get away but rather to feel it, his heart doing yet another happy little stutter in his chest.
Remus pretended to think it over for a moment, “Or I might have to kiss you again.”
Sirius glanced up at him, parting his mouth enough to run his tongue along his bottom lip again. Then he smirked, a quick twitch of lips, a flash of teeth, before he arched a brow in a challenge.
“Twat.”
And Remus pounced.