Work Text:
You gasped for air. Sitting up immediately, hands against your heaving chest, eyes wide.
It was still dark outside. Only the flickering light of the vacancy sign peaked through the edges of the heavy floral curtains into the stuffy motel room. The room was littered with take out containers, clothes, and other miscellaneous “work” objects.
The night was still, as though the summer heat had incapacitated any thought of the world moving. There was no sound of cars or people, just the lazy hum of the sign outside. It could’ve been considered peaceful had you not been jolted from your sleep. The visions from moments before were still clear in your mind as you stared into the dark room, breath ragged, the adrenaline continuing to cycle through your system.
Nightmares were no stranger to you. They plagued your nights like a toddler crawling into your unconscious everynight no matter how many time you tucked them into their own bed. It’s been like this for six years, though, even before then, you don’t remember ever having the sweet dreams that songs and books seemed to speak about. Despite how frequent the nightmares came, they never got easier. Each time as vivid and terrifying as the last.
Eyes adjusting to the darkness, you looked around, breathing deeply, trying to calm down. The only reprieve you felt was when your eyes fell on the body next yours. If not for the exact circumstances you could have laughed. Splayed out and almost comically asleep, Dabi looked like the complete opposite of how you looked. The blanket you shared, though never equally, did little to cover his boxer clad body . With legs and torso exposed to the cool air, head lolled to the side, chest rising and falling with steady breaths, and small silver staples glinting in the small amount of light streaming in through the window, Dabi slept soundly.
Watching him, you let out a small sigh releasing some of the tension in your shoulders. You felt slightly better, less alone at least, but you couldn’t shake the fear and anxiety bubbling in the pit of your stomach like a ball of unrelenting static. Looking at the clock you read 2:43 am. Shit. This was going to be a long night if you couldn’t find a way to fall back to sleep.
Lying back down, you try to go back to sleep, but as soon as you close your eyes, everything comes rushing back. You tried hard to think of something else, anything else, but it didn’t work. It never worked.
Opening your eyes again, you lay in silence, staring up at the popcorn ceiling, following the cracks and peeling paint in the rough texture. Letting your head roll on the pillow, you look over again at the man laying next you.
How is it he can sleep so soundly? You know it doesn’t bode well to compare trauma. It’s like trying to compare who had it worse: someone who got pushed into an olympic size pool or a kiddie pool, when in the end you're both just wet. But you can’t help thinking that he’s had it way worse than you. Worse than you could ever imagine, just based on the small amounts he’s revealed to you. Yet, he is blessed to be able to fall asleep anywhere, and you can barely make it a few days with a good night's sleep.
Staring at Dabi you could feel the sweat starting to cool, leaving goosebumps across your skin. The warm air felt sticky against your clammy skin. You knew that laying in bed, unable to think straight, and shivering in sweat was not going to be any productive means of falling asleep, so slipping out of bed, you walked to the bathroom.
Without turning on the light, you turn the shower on and shimmy out of your pajamas that consisted of mostly Dabi’s clothing. Waiting for the water to heat up, you could already feel your body start to relax from the steam starting to fill the small room. Taking a deep breath of the humid air, you try to focus only on the warmth filling your lungs. Deeming the shower hot enough, you stepped under the stream, letting the hot water wash away the cold sweat and gooseflesh. Standing directly under the downpour, you let the shower envelop you completely, the water falling on your head rhythmically, turning all your thoughts into white static.
You don’t know how long you stood there in the dark. The sound of the shower and warmth of the water were the only things keeping you grounded. It could have been 2 minutes or 2 hours, you don’t know, before the sound of the bathroom door broke your mindlessness. A stream of warm orange light came into the bathroom from the bedside lamp, silhouetting a tall figure in the door frame. You looked up at Dabi sleepily rubbing his eyes before looking at you. Making contact with his familiar blue eyes, you could see the drowsiness that plagued them as they longed to still be shut. You felt a pang of guilt, as you thought the shower must’ve woken him up. You watched as he came to the edge of the tub, till he stood looking down at you.
You looked down not wanting to talk and the guilt of waking him still lingering in your chest. Usually when you had a nightmare you either just went on your phone and waited it out or it was close enough to morning that it wasn’t weird to just get up. Most of the league just thought you were an early riser when they would find you already on your second cup of coffee by the time they stumbled into the common areas. Dabi knew you had nightmares. He found out on a particularly bad night when you woke up screaming and sobbing. You didn’t talk then either you just clung onto him and continued to cry till you exhausted yourself back to sleep. Dabi had just held you, let you curl up into him till you were asleep, and when you didn’t bring it up the next morning he didn’t ask.
So, it didn’t surprise you when out of the corner of your eye you saw Dabi take off his boxers, throwing them next to your discarded clothes. Silently he stepped into the shower behind you. Instinctively you reach forward to turn down the temperature of the water till it's just barely lukewarm, the temperature that was a compromise between the both of you. On your own, you preferred water that left your feet and hands red with steam rising off your skin, and Dabi liked his showers cool and refreshing. Thankfully not ice cold, though you don’t think he’d mind it. Showering together often led to petty arguments and lots of shower sex to which Dabi would always instigate saying things like why have the water keep you warm when I can. Which often led to you pressed against him feeling his heat both inside and out.
Now, as you felt the warm water fade to something less desirable, long arms wrapped around your waist as you were pushed back against a warm chest, the weight of his chin resting on top of your head. His tall and familiar presence did even more to calm you than the shower. There were no petty arguments and no wandering hands just simply holding each other, in comfortable silence as time stood still once again.