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They were going to be friends. They were going to try, anyway.
The break up was as mutual as it could be, however painful it was for both of them. Daniel wasn’t racing next year and didn’t know what his future was going to hold. If he wasn’t racing, there was no reason for him to be in Monaco when his family he had so dreadfully missed was a world away in Australia.
It wasn’t that they didn’t love each other.
After falling in love with Max Daniel had known he’d never actually been in love before him. His love for Max was what made it so hard, but in the end he knew what had to be done, and Max understood. As much as he could.
Daniel needed to go. Needed to heal. Needed to get away from Formula 1 and re-connect with his family. To disappear and figure out his life and his future and what he wanted going forward.
It was when Winter Break time was ending and Daniel wasn’t going back to Monaco that it all really hit him. He’d texted Max here and there, check-ins to let Max know he was alive and well, but they’d slowed down and Daniel knew it was because it hurt too much, for both of them.
Daily chit-chats became weekly check-ins became every-now-and-again emojis became weeks without contact and Daniel supposed it was for the best. Max needed to be able to let go and move on while Daniel figured his life out.
The first time Daniel hooked up with someone back in Perth he could hardly go through with it. The guy was too tall, too lean, too rough pushing Daniel’s mouth down on his dick. He sucked the guy off anyway and shied away when the guy offered to jerk him off, making his excuses to get out of there.
The second time had been better. Daniel had showed up expecting to get fucked like they’d talked about on Grindr but when he watched the dude roll the condom on between Daniel’s legs his heart clenched and he couldn’t do it.
“Sorry,” Daniel had said, shaking his head and nudging the guy away so he could push himself up to sit. “I uh, I thought I wanted to but,” he didn’t finish, just moved off the bed to look for his jeans. The guy’s shoulders sank, defeated. Daniel could tell when he’d arrived that the dude knew who he was, and was probably stoked to hook up with him.
But he wasn’t Max and sex with other people wasn’t what he’d expected it to be as a single man who could do what he wanted.
His hand got the job done for himself, well enough, and until he could stomach the idea of another man touching him he’d decided to delete Grindr from his phone and forget about it.
He wondered if Max had slept with anyone. Probably. It’d been a good eigth months since they broke up and Daniel went home to Australia. Of course Max had. He was young, and successful, and hot. Daniel wondered if the guys Max was sleeping with knew Max liked to have his cheek stroked when he was kissed, or if they found that extra sensitive little spot in the crook of Max’s left thigh that always made him squirm when Daniel bit him gently, or if they took notice of the pretty blush on Max’s cheeks and chest when they rode his dick, or the way his eyes got wide when something felt extra nice.
And then Daniel sort of hoped that maybe no one else was learning these things about Max and Max wouldn’t be as satisfied sleeping with someone else as he was with Daniel.
He wanted Max to be happy. He did. He told Max so when they ended things, told him to not be afraid to meet someone new and to not hold back, but secretly Daniel supposed he kind of hoped there’d always be something missing. He’d agonized over wanting to look at Max’s social media, but knew he’d find nothing. Max never posted anything about his life on his socials, and Daniel knew it was fruitless.
He figured Michael would let him know if he’d got a whiff of anything about Max seeing someone new in the paddock, anyway.
-
He was never going to miss Vegas.
Racing or not, Daniel wouldn’t miss the inaugural race in Vegas for anything. He loved the city, he had so many amazing memories here, and he was excited to see familiar faces and friends, to connect with Michael again, to be in the paddock.
To see Max.
He hadn’t told Max he was coming but it was pretty much a given that he’d be there. Still, Daniel stayed where he was supposed to as a guest of the Alpha Tauri garages, taking in the way Michael worked with Yuki and the different approaches he’d developed.
It was easier to avoid seeing Max here, anyway.
Until it wasn’t.
Until Daniel was coming down the stairs from where he’d been saying hello to and chatting with Christian, as Max was heading up them.
Until Daniel saw Max’s pretty blue eyes look up at him in surprise as he paused on the stairs, frozen in place.
Daniel offered a smile, a bit bashful because he realized perhaps he should have warned Max he was coming, even if Max could have easily assumed he would be here.
“Daniel,” Max said, voice a little breathless, and it made Daniel’s stomach flipflop.
“Hey, Max,” Daniel said with a small smile, stood awkwardly two steps up from Max, looking down at him.
It was hot enough in Vegas, and even despite the dusky evening sunset, Daniel felt his temperature rise, the prickle of sweat at the back of his neck. He’d stayed away from social media after a few too many instances of wine-drunk crying at Max’s training videos and photos of his wins this season. Daniel had left Monaco, left Max, to go home to Australia and re-connect with his family and his self, to re-center and figure his life out, and he’d spent a lot of time thinking about Max, worrying about Max, missing Max.
It took months for him to try to shake it off and now, coming up on a year since they broke up, Daniel had thought he’d been all good now. Moved on, mostly, knew he’d possibly see Max this weekend in Vegas but felt prepared for it.
He hadn’t been prepared at all, turns out.
Because Max was beautiful, and strong, and broad, and pretty as ever, looking up at Daniel with surprise on his face and a dusting of pink blushing on his cheeks – from the heat, or from seeing Daniel, he wasn’t sure.
Max was back in his casual clothes after today’s quali; showered and clean in tight jeans and a Red Bull polo, his cap on his head, looking beautiful in the way only Max could in that damn polo.
“I heard you were here,” Max started, hand gripping the railing of the stairs a little too tightly. “I of course didn’t have any time to see you but people said,” he continued with a little shrug.
“Well, you’re seeing me now, I suppose,” Daniel said with an awkward laugh, trying for casual. He felt anything but.
Max’s eyebrows knitted in a small frown and Daniel felt kind of bad. He probably should have officially let Max know he’d be here this weekend. He took in the way Max looked at him, studious and calculating as ever, watched Max watch him.
“Did you come with anyone?” Max asked him and Daniel felt slightly taken aback by that. If only Max knew Daniel hadn’t been able to close the deal with anyone in almost a year. He’d had a few hook ups, and he was getting better at chilling out during them, but he certainly wasn’t seeing anyone new and definitely wasn’t here with someone.
“Just Blakey,” he said with a shrug and watched as Max’s hand unclenched a bit on the railing. Weird.
“I have to talk to Christian,” Max said, clipped and a bit awkward. They didn’t know how to talk to each other anymore, it was clear. It was painful and awkward and Daniel wasn’t sure how or why he thought – he said – that they could ever be friends.
“Right,” he nodded, shifting sideways on the little staircase so Max could squeeze by him. “Good luck tomorrow, Max,” he said, but Max didn’t need it. He got pole in quali and his season had been incredible. He could become a three-time WDC tomorrow. He likely would.
“Thanks,” Max had said as he squeezed past. Daniel caught a whiff of Max’s cologne and it made his heart ache.
He turned to continue down the last few steps, ready to find Blake and get out of here back to the hotel. He’d thought about hitting the casinos tonight for a bit but now all he’d wanted to do was lock himself away in his hotel room and punish himself for ever thinking they could be friends, or that he could get over Max.
What a fucking idiot.
“Daniel?” Max’s voice came from above him, and Daniel turned to look up to the walkway to Christian’s office where Max was leaning against the railing. “Where are you staying?”
Daniel watched Max above him, felt his heartbeat kick up a bit in his chest.
“The… The Palms,” Daniel heard himself say, swallowing thickly as he looked up at Max. “Me and Blake have a suite,” he said, shrugging a little. They’d invited Michael to stay with them, too, a reunion of their little trio, but he’d had to decline so he could be available to Yuki at his hotel. Daniel understood. He used to rely on Michael for everything.
“Red Bull are at Ceasars,” Max offered, biting his lip a little. “I’ll leave your name with the concierge, if you want to… to talk or catch up,” he said before turning to enter Christian’s office, disappearing from view.
What the fuck.
-
‘What the fuck’, Daniel thinks to himself as he walks down the plush carpeted hallway of the floor Max is staying on. The concierge did indeed expect him and gave him the room number and a key when he’d arrived at the desk, and now Daniel found himself standing in front of a hotel room door unsure if he should knock or turn around and get out of here.
He knocks, against his better judgement, and the door opens to show Max on the other side, looking soft in sweat-shorts and a white t-shirt, barefoot and cozy.
“You came,” Max says, all smiles, blue eyes lit up for Daniel.
“Here I am,” Daniel nods, laughing a little, nervous, thinking this is probably going to be a bad idea.
Max lets him inside, closes the door behind him. Daniel kicks his Vans off and follows Max into the living room area of the suite where he settles on the couch while Max putters about to get him a drink. When Max joins him on the couch he’s facing Daniel, arm draped over the back of it as he gets comfy.
“I was so surprised seeing you today,” Max tells him, animated as ever when he speaks. “I of course thought you might come to Las Vegas but I did not expect to see you on the stairs to Christian’s office. What were you doing, by the way?”
“Just saying hi,” Daniel shrugs, looking back at Max. He’s so himself. In comfy sleep clothes, unbothered, short leg riding up and exposing his strong, thick thighs. Daniel fights to keep his eyes up. “I haven’t gone to any races all year so,” he shrugs again, glancing down at his fingers where he picks at the skin of his thumb.
“You look good, Daniel,” Max tells him and he looks up to meet Max’s eyes again. Daniel knows the near-year off has done him wonders. He gained weight, he filled out again, he’s physically doing a lot better. Emotionally, he’s better too. Therapy has done wonders. He’s not sure what he wants for the future, still, but he’s not as lost as he once was. He appreciates the compliment.
“Yeah, well, I get to eat what I want and I don’t have to work out anymore if I don’t want to,” he laughs, a bit deprecating and playing it off. He still takes care of himself and eats well, but Daniel can’t deny that it’s been nice not worrying about his weight or work outs as much.
There’s an awkward sort of tension between them and Daniel knows he probably shouldn’t have come to Max’s – to his ex-boyfriend’s – hotel room tonight. What was he thinking?
That he wanted to see Max, alone. Away from the track. No one to bother them. No duties to get to. Just Max, relaxed, soft. The Max he once loved.
Still loves. Will always love.
His eyes downcast, Daniel watches Max reach over to where he’s picking at his own thumb, to place his hand overtop Daniel’s like he always used to do to get him to stop. The touch of Max’s hand to his is enough to make his heart jump, a little.
Daniel doesn’t look up when he feels Max shift on the couch, closer until their knees are pressed together where they’re angled toward one another. He swallows, keeps his eyes down as Max twines their fingers together and rests their hands in his lap. Max can probably hear his heart racing.
“Tell me if I’m getting this wrong,” Max says, softly, as he leans in to press their foreheads together, bumping noses gently before he angles down to kiss Daniel.
The keening little whimper that escapes him should be embarrassing but all Daniel can do is kiss Max back, bring his free hand up to cup Max’s cheek the way Max likes, and savour the way this feels right. The way it never felt when he’d kissed anyone else over the last year. The way nothing, no one, could compare to how kissing Max feels.
Daniel’s not sure what he really expected out of coming to Max’s hotel room tonight but he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t maybe hoped for this.
“Daniel,” Max sighs against their kiss, drags his nose along Daniel’s and nuzzles in a little. “I miss you,” he says as he pulls back to look at Daniel. Earnest, open, not masking anything.
“Me too,” Daniel agrees, nodding a little as he squeezes Max’s hand.
He’s so weak. He’d been the one to bring up the topic of breaking up in order to focus on himself and getting better, and Max had been hurt, but supportive.
One moment alone with Max again after almost a year and he’s crumbling.
“Come back to Monaco,” Max says, reaching for Daniel again to kiss him softly once more. “I don’t care if you never come back to Formula 1 ever again, but I want you to come back home. Daniel. Please.”
Daniel nearly chokes on a sob but reels it in, feels his heart pounding in his chest as he listens to Max, kisses him again just because he can. After all this time. He can, again.
“Take me to bed, Maxy,” Daniel whispers, shivering a little when Max kisses him harder this time.
Nothing is as easy as this. As the way his clothes fall off and he falls into the sprawling, lush bed of Max’s hotel room. As the warmth and safety of Max caging him in; Max’s broad shoulders and thick thighs and full biceps working to press Daniel into the mattress and grind their bodies together.
It’s as familiar as it is a relief. For the hook ups Daniel’s tried to have, nothing felt right like this does. He knows Max and Max knows him, and the way Max kisses him and touches his body bring Daniel back as if no time passed at all.
“Do we need a condom?” Max asks him after he’s brought Daniel to the brink of coming with his fingers, easing them out and making Daniel tremble at the loss. It’d be stupid not to use one, probably. Daniel hasn’t actually let anyone fuck him since they broke up, but he doesn’t know what Max has been up to. Who he’s been with. What he’s done.
“I uh,” Daniel starts, looking up at Max. He’s panting a little, hasn’t felt this good in his body for months. “I haven’t. Since we last. Since. With anyone,” he stumbles, a little embarrassed to admit it. Max doesn’t offer up his escapades of the last year but he doesn’t need to, and Daniel wouldn’t care either.
“I’ve been of course tested regularly,” Max says instead, which Daniel knows is the case with the regular medical checks they go through for the season. “My last one was all clear,” he tells Daniel as he kisses down his jaw, waiting for Daniel to call the shots.
He wants it. He wants all of Max.
“Just fuck me,” Daniel gasps, arching his back when Max nips at his collarbone. He shifts his legs a little wider for Max, bites at his lip when Max reaches for the lube he’d used to finger Daniel open.
When Max does, when Max presses inside him and sinks in, Daniel can’t help the moan at the feeling of fullness so deeply satisfying within. He’d fucked men before Max but it wasn’t until being with Max that he realized how another person could be perfectly matched for him.
Max, rocking inside him, slow and gentle and letting Daniel adjust to the sensation after so long without this, feels so perfect. Max’s dick is the perfect thickness, the perfect size to grind over his prostate with each press inside. He moans as he clutches at Max’s back, moans for the way Max’s abs grind against his own dick, loves the sensation of being filled up and pressed down by Max again.
It’s over fast but Daniel can’t complain. He’s got Max inside him, and on top of him, and kissing him deeply as Max’s hand runs up his side and over his chest to cup his jaw. They’re sweaty and sticky and messy and Daniel can’t find it in him to care as he kisses Max until he’s breathless, finally having to break away to get some air.
He winces a little when Max pulls out, shivers at the feeling of Max’s come leaking out of him, relishes in the nasty way it’s always made him feel loved.
“Fuck,” Max sighs as he moves off of Daniel to his side on the bed, sprawled on his back for Daniel to drink in the sight of his body. Naked, sweaty, big and broad and beautiful for Daniel to roll over and snuggle into, draping his leg over Max’s thigh to press close to him. Max’s arm curls around his shoulders to cuddle him in and Daniel sighs as he thinks about what just happened.
They’d been in each other’s presence for ten whole minutes before getting right into bed with each other.
Max had started it. Max had kissed him. Max asked him to come back to Monaco. Max had been missing Daniel just the same, but never pressured Daniel to talk to him or come back. He’d given Daniel the time and space, given him the break-up without making it too hard on Daniel. Been selfless and mature and Daniel realizes now, as much as he’s been hurting, Max has too.
“I meant what I said,” Max says as he presses a kiss to Daniel’s temple. “About coming home. If you’re not ready I… I understand, I guess. It’s been almost a year, Daniel. I want you to be of course okay but I want you to be okay with me,” he finishes and Daniel nods his head a bit against Max’s shoulder.
The year has been good for him. He’s physically so much healthier, his therapy is going well, he’s not sure where his future lies but it can start with Max. It’s been a year and he’s never moved on. Maybe he was stupid to think he ever could.
He knows they need to talk more about it all, logistically. He thinks they’d need to come out. There’s no explanation for Daniel being back in Monaco, living in Max’s building, when he’s not involved in the sport any way anymore.
That’s a conversation for later, but for now he’s going to fall asleep soon, and he can’t think about much else.
-
Max becomes WDC for the third time the next day, and Daniel thinks maybe being a full time WAG won’t be so bad, next year.