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English
Series:
Part 1 of Cale's Accidental Acquisition of Traumatized Children From Across the Multiverse
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Golden TCF Fics💰, Harry Potter, Korea Fandom, Why sleep? We have great stories!, Harry Potter Golden Collection, Trash of Count Family Golden Collection, Мои_любимые_работы😉, Magical-wonderland-33, Trying to keep track of what I read: A collection, Long Fics to Binge, wan's delusions it keeps in its heart aka PEAK
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Published:
2023-02-21
Updated:
2025-03-13
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78,716
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16/?
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Harry Potter and the Interference of a Slacker

Summary:

Cale Henituse has done it. After three years—ones of battle, planning, and beating the White Radish into oblivion—Cale has achieved his slacker-life. Now, his days only consist of lounging around, eating, and playing with the children. He couldn’t ask for anything more.

"My Child… I must ask you for one more request."

Cale just had to go and jinx it didn’t he!

“And since when did I become your child?! You stupid God of Death!”

 

OR

 

Our favorite red-haired “slacker” joins the world of Harry Potter to protect Hogwarts, adopt some kids, and beat the living daylights out of a no-nose, Dark Lord. Watch out Mr. Long-Name-Who-Apparently-Must-Not-Be-Named! You are the only thing standing in the way of an overworked, ex-commander’s “slacker-life!”

(UPDATE FROM AUTHOR! Thank you all for your patience and support. Unfortunately, my schedule has not allowed for me to work on this fic. I have also been considering rewriting it because I have kinda realized that I have written myself into a corner with a few parts... I do not yet know when the next update will release, but I wanted to keep y'all in the know!)

Chapter 1: A New Journey Begins... A Slacker-Life Ends

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Cale Henituse stood face-to-face with a tall man. His short hair was a ghostly white with eyes that matched in color. His skin was tanned and he wore a cream cardigan as well as white pants. His eyes rested closed and his lips were gently set in small smile. Overall, he gave off a regal aura of wisdom and power. The man was, in fact, a god after all.

 

However, if one looked close enough, they could spot the sweat that rolled off his exposed neck and the slight shaking of his hands. Now, there were not many creatures that could make a god tremble in fear—this particular deity even had the task of overseeing what many in the world feared. One such being was standing right in front of him with crossed arms. 

 

The god coughed into his hand. “Ah, Cale… How are you this fine morning?” 

 

The red-haired commander did not answer. Cale stood, not moving an inch, and glared. He had just gone from simply enjoying his well deserved slacker-life to this in a span of a few minutes. Cale had agreed to play hide-and-seek with the children… Next thing he knew he was face-to-face with the god of death.

 

The man in front of him gulped, thoughts rampant. This child… Why is he always so scary with a single glance? Curse you, Reality!  

 

However, with a breath white eyes locked with those of red. “My Child… I must ask you for one more request.” 

 

“…”

 

“Why are you walking away?!”

 

Yes… Cale, in fact, turned right around and began walking into the endless void. 

 

The god of death hung his head in defeat. He knew he should have prepared snacks as bargaining chip for his child. Reality had become so adamant on the quick timing of meeting with Cale. No respect for a few days notice.

 

“Death, maybe I should take it from here.” 

 

The domain warped as a new figure entered, causing the god of death to quickly turn his attention.

 

“You have arrived,” the god of death said.

 

Standing out amongst the realm of white, the figure stood tall with a human-like build. However, one could not see beyond the dazzling robe that covered the figure's face or any other defining features. A robe reflected light as if made of blue and purple crystals. Glass-like ends dragged along the white floor, leaving a trail of shimmering hues.

 

The god of reality smiled at his friend’s statement. “I just felt it better to explain the situation to the young mortal myself. Knowing you… it is easy for you to become distracted.”

 

The god of reality moved a robed arm forward, and with a quick flick, Cale Henituse once again appeared.

 

Cale’s face contorted in confusion. He clearly did expect being sucked through the floor and ending up floating in front of the two gods. 

 

The god of reality smiled. “Hello, Cale Henituse. We have much to discuss… Why don’t we get comfortable, no?”

 

Before Cale knew it, he landed back down with a small bounce on a couch. An assortment of cookies and scones appeared on a glass table in front of him as well. 

 

Might as well help myself.

 

And so, Cale Henituse did just that. He began nibbling on several of the sweets, not minding the two divine beings seated in front of him.

 

“Ah, I can understand why you like him, Death. He is very endearing.” 

 

Cale’s cookie suddenly tasted very sour. The god of death didn’t need any context to know that classic, Cale Henituse, “What nonsense are you spouting?” face. 

 

The other god simply laughed before turning to a serious tone. “Hello, young mortal. I believe introductions are in order… I am the divine regulator of Reality, in charge of keeping the various timelines and worlds in balance,” the man said in a steady tone. The robed figure sat up straight. “Though, I am already very aware of who you are, Kim Rok Soo—or do you prefer to go by Cale Henituse now?” 

 

Cale’s face remained expressionless throughout the introduction. He only nodded. “Yes, I plan to live the rest of my life in my new world.” 

 

The god of reality’s smile grew brighter. He spoke gently, “I am glad that is the case. After all, this stupid fool next to me would not shut up about his new child.”

 

The god of death gave a look of betrayal and was about to say something when a raisin cookie landed straight in his mouth. His thoughts were immediately silenced by trying to get the taste of the cookie out of his mind. In all the cookies on the table, why this one?!

 

“Now—” the god of reality clapped “—down to business. Death owes me a favor for bending realities to bring you here. I am calling on it now and am asking for your help.”

 

“Woah, woah, woah… why are you throwing me under the bus like that?” 

 

The god of reality kept on talking, not even acknowledging the lord of death’s comment. “Cale Henituse… far in another dimension there is another being that seeks to bring destruction to his world. I need your help in saving it. Unfortunately, you will also have to go alone due to the safety of inter-dimensional travel.”

 

 

 

“Huuuh…”

 

 

 

Crunch.

 

 

 

The three sat there in awkward silence. Well, two of them anyway. Cale was just enjoying the chocolate chip cookies in his hand. 

 

Oh, look! They have tea.

 

“Cale?”

 

Red eyes gazed to meet where Cale assumed would be the god's face. He breathed one more sigh before speaking. “Before I give my answer, please explain the whole situation.”

 

“Of course, young Henituse. I would not have expected anything less. I shall begin with telling you that this world is very similar to your original Earth.”

 

Cale froze for a second, his teacup stopping halfway at his lips. He then simply nodded once more as he drank from the cup.

 

The lord of reality continued, “There are several main differences in this world and your old one. Magic exists in this world. Though compared to your current home, it is very limited.”

 

Cale tilted his head. “How so?” he asked.

 

“There is a rift between those who can use it—ones who call themselves witches and wizards—and those who cannot not—regular humans whom the magic world labels ‘muggles.’ Do you understand?” 

 

Cale affirmed his answer with a nod. 

 

“Good… This division has been around in the world since its creation; however, there have also been those of magical prowess that believe they are superior to their non-magical neighbors. One such person exists today, and he threatens the balance of that world. He has already cheated death once, in ways that no being should ever get close to achieving, and has extinguished the light of hundreds of innocent lives.” 

 

The ex-commander remained still throughout the conversation. He listened intently, every word recorded in his memory. 

 

“I fear with the way things are now, a great cost will be paid in order to defeat him… the life of a child.”

 

Both gods could suddenly see the difference in Cale’s whole demeanor. A new gaze appeared in his eyes—one fueled by the true power he possessed despite his weak appearance. The god of reality saw how the redhead gripped the teacup tighter. 

 

“Unforgivable…”

 

The god smirked at the commander’s tone. The god of reality had been extremely busy these past several years, dealing with many issues with various universes (that purple alien just had to go and count retirement as destroying worlds and that stupid TVA keeps making things harder for them). It had become quite the discouragement not being able to see this child grow like the rest of the gods. However, he had heard that Cale Henituse would never allow one thing: the mistreatment of children.  

 

“Cale Henituse… I am asking for you to go and protect the children of this world—one especially—and destroy the evil that plagues its borders. Without you, I fear that many more will die–”

 

The lord of reality was not able to finish the sentence before Cale suddenly stood up. His red bangs covered his eyes. Death’s lips widened into a vicious smile. He had witnessed the many battles of the ex-commander from the heavens. He also knew the intent behind that exact posture… someone was going to die a very miserable death.

 

Cale turned his gaze towards the two divine beings. It seems like he may need to take a rain check on his plans to take a nap that afternoon. Cale let out a long breath, letting the tension from his shoulders fade.

 

“Well then,” Cale said as his famous “scammer” smile appeared on his face. He began chuckling to himself, “I suppose that I just need to loot another radish.”

 

At that moment, both gods whispered a silent prayer for the unsuspecting world in which this scary demo–human was going to be unleashed.

 

Cale Henituse’s form soon started to fade, but not before he screamed one final thing. 

 

“And since when did I become your child?! You stupid God of Death!”

 

 

“Don’t look at me like that!”

 

“I’m not sure what you mean.”

 

“You're judging me, aren’t you!?”

 

“…”

 

“Don’t ignore me!”

 

 

To say that the inhabitants of the Super Rock Villa were furious was an understatement. First, their young master just randomly collapses on his walk with the children. This already put them on edge. Then, once Cale woke up, they learn that he is going to be sent to another world… without them! Cale told them that the gods could only send one person safely. But that did not really help most of his companions. Of course, the three children and a black-haired swordsman were the worst to console. Cale simply gave each of them a smile and caressed their heads. He picked up the three children with trembling arms and whispered words of comfort into their ears. He even patted the head of his loyal knight that somehow turned into a puppy. 

 

So, yeah… lets just say that the forest may become a whole lot smaller thanks to a few spells and punches being released. 

 

But, as per Cale’s usual behavior, he got right to work on tightening up loose ends—which honestly were just letting his closest companions know what was going on. During those few hours, the ex-priestess, Cage, came to the villa. In order for the transmigration to work as planned, the gods needed to have someone of the material world with a close connection to divine beings. Cage was tasked with acting as a way to get not only Cale’s soul, but also physical body to the new world. 

 

“Young master, I have a message from that stupid god,” Cage said. Her head had been hurting non stop for the past hour. The God of Death had been yelling all sorts of nonsense. However, she was able to discern a little bit of his rambling and write the information down. “I have written down the things that the God of Death forgot to tell you in your last meeting.” 

 

Cale grabbed the piece of paper and studied its contents. It took only a moment for him to record the information before he handed the paper back to Cage. The God of Reality apparently had already set their plans into motion. He was to meet with the headmaster of the school that Voldemort, as he learned was the name of the dark wizard, was after. It was still baffling to Cale why a person would want to go after a school for gods sake. He is also supposed to meet a boy that this same Voldemort has been trying to kill… Harry Potter.

 

Cale moved his hand and moved his bands from his eyes. He sighed then looked towards the ex-priestess. “Thank you, Miss Cage. I am ready to proceed.”

 

Cage nodded. She then looked towards the rest of the people in the room. They were all extremely powerful and had gathered together to perform the magic circle. 

 

“Let us begin.”

 

With that, auras of all different colors joined together under the feet of their beloved commander. Cage closed her eyes, allowing her own power to etch the magic circle into the ground. 

 

Everything was almost complete… until…

 

“Human!” 

 

A black blob broke free from the arms of the Ancient Dragon in the room and barreled straight towards Cale. 

 

“Wait, Raon!”

 

“Ahh! Stupid Kid!”

 

“Roan!”

 

“Wait, Hong! What are you doing!”

 

“On! Hong!”

 

Two more blobs raced towards their guardian in the magic circle. 

 

Before anything else could be said, a white light covered the room. No one could see a thing until it finally dimmed… revealing no trace of Cale Henituse or his children.

Notes:

Hello, Readers!

I am very excited to be releasing my first ever AO3 fanfic for "Trash of the Count's Family!" I have always wanted to create a TCF fic, and after playing Hogwarts Legacy, a light bulb in my mind finally went off.

Please feel free to comment with any feedback you may like! I am always open to constructive criticism and suggestions. Speaking of suggestions... I have a quick question I would like to ask for the upcoming chapters. Right now, many of Cale's companions are back in their world, would y'all like to see them at Hogwarts?

Thank you for checking out this story! I don't really have a schedule going right now, but I am hoping to develop one soon! Finally, I am also sorry about the short chapter. I promise that future chapters will be longer as this was just a set up!

Have a wonderful day!
- Zero