You make it better

by daydreamlog

Summary:

Wonwoo desperately needs someone to tie his shoelace and Mingyu just happens to be there.

Chapter 1

Helpless. 

That’s the only thing that can describe what Wonwoo is feeling at the moment. 

He’s a few blocks away from home, there’s no one in sight, and he can’t see his feet. 

He no longer sees his feet, that is. 

Entering his seventh month means his bulging and healthy stomach now hinders his downward line of vision. But even though he doesn’t see it, he knows his shoelace has come undone. 

He should have listened to his best friend that morning. 

‘Wonwoo, let’s go for slip-ons next time, okay? You won’t be able to tie your shoelaces anymore,” Soonyoung says as he kneels in front of Wonwoo to help him wear and tie his shoes. 

“Hmm, yeah. Next time,” Wonwoo sayys while munching on his bread. There’s cheer on his face as the taste of cheese bread finally hits his tongue. 

“You know what, let’s wear slip-ons today.” Soonyoung is about to stand and get Wonwoo’s easy-to-wear shoes when the heavily pregnant man stops him by the arm. 

Wonwoo viciously shakes his head, a pout forming on his face. “No, I don’t want to. These are my most comfortable shoes.” 

And Soonyoung knows any better than to fight back so he sighs, kneels again in front of his best friend to check, redo, and make sure the shoelaces are tightly tied. 

Wonwoo immediately stops in his tracks, in the middle of a deserted road, feeling his shoes loose on his feet. 

“This is the worst,” Wonwoo says, carefully walking to the side and under a shade. He sighs and leans back into the tree trunk, trying to take a peek down at his shoes. 

True enough, there it is. His right shoelace is completely untied. And he has no way of reaching or bending down to tie it back. 

He knows attempting to do something impossible can be dangerous for him and his baby, he might lose his balance after all, and walking with an untied shoelace is equally risky. 

But standing a minute more is starting to kill Wonwoo’s legs. To add, there’s a throbbing pain in his lower back, shouting for him to sit down. 

So he leans back to the trunk’s rough surface and when he feels completely grounded, he raises his legs. His baby bump is on the way and Wonwoo struggles to even reach his shoelaces, what more to tie them tightly. 

And before he can even tie them halfway, he loses balance, prompting him to put down his legs to avoid falling. 

He tries several times but to no avail. He leans back, wincing as the coarse trunk digs through his back. He feels tears welling in his eyes, sweat falls from his forehead, and he’s getting real tired of standing. 

“Wonwoo?” 

Wonwoo swears it feels like hearing an angel’s voice. 

He weakly smiles at Kim Mingyu, standing just a couple of meters away from him. The other seems like he’s just coming home from his morning run, donning a dry-fit muscle tee, shorts, and running shoes. 

He stares to look at the heaving Wonwoo with a concerned look on his face. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Mingyu asks and takes quick steps toward the pregnant man. 

Wonwoo nods, running his hand up and down his tummy. 

“Hi. Yeah, I’m okay. Just…” Wonwoo's voice falters. It’s obvious he needs the help, and it’s clear Mingyu would, but Wonwoo is too shy to ask. 

Wonwoo first met Mingyu roughly four years ago, when he first moved into his current apartment. 

Aside from the building being conveniently located to places he needs to be, the landlord is also a big factor in why Wonwoo has stayed for four years. The taller man is kind and smiling, has always been considerate to his tenants, and is incredibly good-looking. 

(The last one is a bonus.)

He and Mingyu are not exactly close, but Wonwoo considers them friends at least. They regularly talked over the years and even shared a table once or twice when they bumped into a restaurant downtown. 

“What’s wrong? Does it hurt?” 

“Uhh, no. It’s just…” 

Mingyu's gentle eyes roam over Wonwoo’s body and still upon seeing his untied shoelace. He throws the pregnant man a smile and points to his shoes. 

“Is it your shoes?” Mingyu immediately kneels and Wonwoo tries to fight down a blush, but he can’t so he blames it on the morning heat. 

And tries to blame his beating heart on his tiredness. 

Mingyu has always been so kind, Wonwoo knows that. The type of person to help an elderly cross the road, foster an abandoned puppy which eventually became his, helps struggling tenants carry their groceries up to their units, and even help a beginner driver parallel park! 

(Wonwoo saw all it played out.)

Sometimes, Wonwoo found it ridiculous how Mingyu can be so compassionate. 

“Are you on your way back?” Mingyu asks, double-knotting Wonwoo’s shoelace and looking up at the pregnant man. 

Wonwoo nods as Mingyu stands beside him. “Okay, let’s go home together!” 

It’s the pregnancy hormones, that much Wonwoo is sure when he finds himself swallowing back tears at Mingyu’s words. 

The whole seven months, he’d dream of it. A place to call home and a person to go home to. 

But instead, he got a slam at the door and a message saying ‘I don’t want it.’ 

Wonwoo replied back with a ‘We don’t want you either.’ and blocked that motherfucker out of his life. But that doesn’t mean he’s the strong, independent guy everyone thinks he is. 

He manned up, talked to his parents alone, went to his doctor’s appointment alone, and shopped for baby clothes alone all the while working and crying his little heart out behind closed doors. 

So Mingyu switching sides so he’s on the safer part of the sidewalk, warm hand on the small of his back as they cross the road, or even the mere question ‘Is there something you want to eat before we head back?’ really tugs at Wonwoo’s heart. 

And for a short time, to be given the attention he can only dream of, had Wonwoo clenching his fist, trying to stop his tears. 

“Thank you, Mingyu,” Wonwoo timidly says as they finally stop at his front door. “And I’m so sorry for the trouble.” 

“No, it’s no trouble at all. Don’t worry about it,” Mingyu shakes his head and ushers Wonwoo to go in. “Have some rest.” 

Mingyu turns around to leave while Wonwoo still stands by his door, staring at the other’s retreating back. 

‘Whoever Mingyu ends up marrying will be so darn lucky.’ 

Wonwoo was a step into his unit when a hand gently reached out to hold on to his wrist. He looks up to see Mingyu again, this time, the taller’s eyes seem a bit nervous but determined.

“Uhh next time, just in case, you know. You need someone to tie your shoelace, or if you want something to eat, or if you’re looking for company during your walks, or if anything at all, please call me.” 

Wonwoo feels warmth spread throughout his body, especially with how Mingyu’s soft eyes gaze down on him. 

Mingyu kneels, leveling with Wonwoo’s bulging tummy, and slowly unties the pregnant man’s shoelaces. 

“I’ll meet you real soon little guy. Be good to your dada, okay?” 

It was a whisper, but Wonwoo heard it loud and clear. Sweet, Wonwoo thinks, to have someone other than your best friend and parents so excited to meet the little life inside you. 

“If you want me to, I'd love to tie your and your dada's shoelaces.” 

But that… that’s a different story. 

Chapter 2

For long seven months, Wonwoo had always wondered what it felt like to go through pregnancy with a partner. 

He thought about it while he was vomiting his lunch out on the second month, kneeling on the floor of the office’s third-floor bathroom, with tears in the corner of his eyes, wondering what it would feel like to have someone come running to him, gently patting his back, and wiping the sweat out of his forehead. 

He thought about it as he walked to the bakery five streets down from his apartment. He was exhausted, his morning sickness was bad, and maybe it was the pregnancy hormones that rendered him tired ninety percent of the time. 

But he was really craving cheese bread and so he wondered what it would feel like to have someone he could ask to buy it for him or someone who would do it just because he knows Wonwoo best. 

He thought about it as he looked through aisles and aisles of baby clothes, excited but confused about what to get, wondering what it would feel like to have someone push the cart for him as he contemplated getting the robot or the sailor-designed onesie. 

It was just passing thoughts, that’s all, Wonwoo thinks. He had long accepted he’d be raising his little one alone. 

So Mingyu didn’t need to do it. 

He didn’t need to show up and be the partner Wonwoo needed. 

But he comes in bearing all this love on his sleeve, his gentle grip slowly pulling Wonwoo into a safe place and his heart and soul whispering ‘You’re not alone anymore.’  and ‘Let me take care of you.’ 

After indirectly asking Wonwoo if he can be a part of his life, Mingyu doesn’t need to say another word anymore. 

It shows in his eyes and how he gazes at Wonwoo during their meals, just when he’s finished cooking up whatever the other wants to eat. 

It shows with his warm hands, very shyly brushing with Wonwoo’s, timidly asking if he can hold his during their morning walks. 

It shows in his voice, as he patiently and kindly tells the pregnant man that too much spice can cause heartburn and indigestion and that Wonwoo might not feel comfortable with those. 

It shows in his smile as he helps Wonwoo wash and fold baby clothes, carefully pairing the same-patterned pajamas with their gloves and socks. 

It shows in his curious but determined eyes as he spends the whole night comparing diapers and wet wipes, which baby shampoo is the most recommended, or which formula is the best. 

It shows in the way he acts, there at Wonwoo’s door, first thing in the morning for his nine o’clock appointment with his doctor, or how he is so attentive to the doctor and her reminders and instructions. 

Mingyu doesn’t need to say anything, doesn’t need to broadcast his plans for the future, or why he’s doing all of this. 

It just shows so naturally, like Mingyu was meant to stand there beside him during an ultrasound session, also gasping in utter adoration about the pair of active feet kicking in black and white. 

“Oh, wow…” 

Wonwoo chuckles, his eyes darting from Mingyu to the screen, as the doctor moves the transducer around his stomach, nodding and humming as she goes. 

“Everything looks good,” she says, tapping the buttons of the machine. 

“And daddy looks really excited, too.” She glances up at Mingyu and then at Wonwoo as she wipes out the gel from his bulging stomach, a small smile gracing her lips. 

“Oh, he’s—” 

“Yes. I’m really happy.” 

Wonwoo had never talked about his situation with her, making it very vague if he needed to, and Mingyu, most certainly, didn’t need to do that, but he did anyway. 

“So, Wonwoo, any contractions? Pain?” The doctor asks, pen hastily jotting down notes on his record. 

“None so—” 

“His hips have been hurting, Doc. His lower back, too. Is that normal?” Mingyu butts in, taking a seat beside the pregnant man. 

Wonwoo chuckles but Mingyu fails to hear him, all ears to whatever the doctor is about to say. 

“Oh, yes. That’s normal. It’s because of the hormones, pressure, and weight distribution. Wonwoo is…”

His doctor had already warned him months ago of the changes and how it might make him uncomfortable. He tells Mingyu every day he is okay and that’s what pregnancy does to the body but the other is always so worried. 

‘Ah, this is what it feels like.’ 

For long seven months, Wonwoo had always wondered what it felt like to go through pregnancy with a partner. 

And in his eighth month, he finally understood why people fall in love with the idea of settling down, marriage, babies, and a white picket fence as he stares at Mingyu’s glimmering eyes gazing down at the sonogram. 

For seven months, Wonwoo had always thought his little one would be the last boy he’d give his love to. 

But on his eighth, he realized why people fall in love again after being hurt and left behind, why people make room for love, and make even more space for it. 

It’s all because human beings like Mingyu exist. 

Human beings that embody love and save all the love people like Wonwoo can’t give to themselves. 

Human beings that make you realize it’s worth risking it all again. 

It’s Mingyu that made him realize it’s okay to love again. 

 
** 

“Okay, let’s go.” Mingyu pats Wonwoo’s shoes just as he finishes tying up the laces. He looks up, his view a bit obstructed because of the other’s bulging tummy, to see the pregnant man smile and nod at him. 

“All good!” 

Mingyu smiles and gently holds on to Wonwoo’s arm, guiding the other out of the parking lot and into the grocery store. 

Wonwoo used to dread grocery days. 

Sometimes, lines are long, and pushing the cart from one aisle to another can be tiring, especially with the extra weight he has put on, but standing up for long at the counter is equally taxing, too.

But now, grocery runs are one of the things Wonwoo loves to do. 

Because grocery runs are never just grocery runs with Mingyu around. 

Sometimes, it’s a walk in the park before they go home, ice cream as he sits on a swing with Mingyu slowly pushing him from the back, or side trips downtown because Wonwoo has been craving cheese bread from a specific bakery. 

Also, because tying shoelaces or picking up his favorite noodles from the button shelf is no longer a struggle. 

Wonwoo can melt at how Mingyu is so careful with him, matching his slow pace, how he always makes sure that Wonwoo is on the safe side, or never failing to steer him away from rocks, potholes, or humps on the road that Wonwoo might trip on.

“This is cute. Let’s get this.” 

Without further consultation with Wonwoo, Mingyu quickly puts the dinosaur onesie into the pushcart and wheels away, leaving the pregnant man frowning. 

“Mingyu! We have enough onesies!” 

“We need more! What if we run out?” 

“We won’t and he’s going to grow them out in a month.” 

Wonwoo braves himself because he knows what’s coming next and he’s right. 

Mingyu pouts, feebly picks up the onesie, and stares at it for seconds as if it’s some sort of item with sentimental value before hanging it back up on the rack. He looks at Wonwoo, his eyes mournful before sighing and turning away. 

“Really? You’re going to be like that?” Wonwoo whines, stomping his foot. 

Mingyu’s boisterous laugh echoes in the department store, earning the looks of other shoppers as he looks back to a sulking Wonwoo. 

“Kidding, kidding,” he says, walking back and linking arms with Wonwoo. He nuzzles the other’s shoulder, giggling as he goes. 

They were only supposed to grab prenatal vitamins in the nearby pharmacy but Mingyu led them straight to the department store, the taller man immediately attracted to every cute onesie, sock, and pajamas he set his eyes on. 

Even though Wonwoo would always remind him that they have enough (admittedly, he went crazy shopping during his sixth month), Mingyu would never pass on an opportunity to get more. 

‘So, this is what it feels like…’ 

All of a sudden, errands aren’t as much of a chore anymore and Wonwoo has grown to love grocery runs. 

Grocery runs with Mingyu, especially.

** 

Wonwoo is no chef. He can cook easy meals, enough to sustain his hunger with some nutritional value. Aside from that, takeouts and deliveries have been his best friend. 

Besides, in the current economy, convenience store meals are significantly cheaper than attempting to cook at home. 

But when he got pregnant, he was suddenly thrown into this challenge where he needed a balanced diet to keep, not only himself but importantly, his baby healthy. 

Going back to his first point, convenience store meals are significantly cheaper than attempting to cook at home because he did manage to mess up 300 grams of pork and a whole lot of condiments and vegetables. 

At the end of the night, he had to throw it out. Even a rat wouldn’t dare. 

But he can’t stop there. He has a life inside of him now, and a little child that will soon need more than just a provider dad. 

And so he tries. 

Meal kits, an added expense but easy-to-follow recipes and he has options for healthier meals. 

Takeouts and ready-made food but more on vegetables and fruits for desserts and his favorite, homecooked meals from the excited soon-to-be grandparents whenever they would visit him. 

(Not to mention, him hoarding containers of containers of meals and meal preps when he visits his family back in his hometown.) 

“Dinner!” 

Wonwoo smelt the heavenly scent from a mile away (okay, maybe from the bedroom door) and a smile instantly blooms on his lips. 

He would recognize that beef and savory smell in a heartbeat.

He quickly sits down, hands clasped together in excitement and his eyes twinkling at the sight of his favorite food. 

Noodles. 

But since Mingyu came around in his life, it’s noodles with a twist. 

“Here you go,” Mingyu says, scooping a bowl of steaming rice and setting it down in front of Wonwoo. 

“Thank you for the meal, Mingyu.” 

Their little buddy (or maybe just Wonwoo?) had been craving noodles but Mingyu wouldn’t just allow plain noodles straight out of the pack. 

He argues that instant noodles are basically junk food, with high levels of carbs, fat, and sodium, and low on vitamins and proteins. 

“If you really insist, please let me cook noodles my way.” 

It’s amazing what carrots, spinach, green onions, mushrooms, and some other vegetables can do. 

“Anything for you.” 

Wonwoo can literally hear his heartbeat, fast and erratic, in his ears. 

It could be because of the noodles, at the thought and sight of his craving, but it could also be because of Mingyu, who is smiling at him so fondly like he’s a universe of stars. 

Wonwoo doesn’t know which is which, but he hopes he gets to feel this for a long time. 

 

** 

Wonwoo sighs, as he forlornly stares at his open closet, his gaze fixed on a certain section that’s just been sitting, collecting dust. 

Shirts, button-ups, jeans, and work slacks that have been neatly folded and have not been worn for months, simply because they no longer fit. 

But he can’t give them away just yet because he knows he’ll need them when he slowly sheds the pregnancy weight. 

… right? 

He’ll still get to wear that baby blue V-neck shirt he gets tons of compliments in because apparently, it showcases his “beautiful” collarbones and the color suits his fair skin, right? 

Or his favorite jeans, old but it’s the most comfortable jeans he ever owned and he can no longer find the exact style from the brand. 

Or those expensive button-ups he uses for formal events and work, ones that he splurged on because he knows they will last him for years, plus they are timeless pieces that can be used on different occasions. 

And… 

He moves his gaze from the closet to his lap, where he tenderly holds a seafoam green cardigan. It used to hang over his lean, pre-pregnancy body loosely but now, is a tight fit across his shoulders and arms. 

It’s the first piece of garment he bought with his first paycheck and is a remembrance of his first stash of ‘adult money.’ 

Wonwoo missed wearing it. He found a similar one in the mall a few weeks ago, but there’s no bigger size available so he left the store disappointed. 

So now, it’s just a grim reminder of the insecurity that’s been eating him for five months. 

‘Five months…’ Right when he started gaining weight, bid temporary goodbyes to his clothes and bought trousers with elastic waistbands and shirts three sizes larger than his usual medium. 

He hastily folds the cardigan and carelessly lodges it back in the closet as he shakes his head, getting rid of unwanted thoughts. 

‘It’s the hormones. It’s just the… hormones…’ 

His eyes unconsciously trail to the full-length mirror in the corner of his room and he finds himself walking to stand in front of it. 

A ratty old oversized shirt he found amongst a pile of clothes he was supposed to give away, sweatpants that were sizes too big but it’s one of the only few things that fits him right now, and jaw and cheeks fused with fat. 

Not to mention, hair loss and the infamous pregnancy nose. 

Wonwoo never believed he was jaw-dropping handsome, but his looks are not exactly unlikeable either. 

But looking at his state now, he feels… 

‘Wonwoo, it’s just the hormones…’ 

Not himself. 

He loves his little one, and he knows he loved him the moment he knew of his existence, but sometimes, Wonwoo can’t help but think back to the times he was a little freer, a little less worrying, a little less responsible. 

Because now, he can’t help but think about money, how he has to stay economically stable for the years to come, how he has to stay strong because who else will his son depend on if it’s not him? 

On top of that, will he ever go back to how he used to look? 

Wonwoo heaves a heavy sigh, patting his cheeks to ground him out of his worries. 

“One at a time, Won. One at a time,” he whispers, caressing his baby bump before looking away from the mirror. 

He heads back to his closet to look for another pullover but a knock on the bedroom door stops him. 

“Mingyu?” 

“It’s me!” 

Mingyu’s voice is enthusiastic and it brings a smile to Wonwoo’s face. 

This person has been his ray of sunshine since that one fateful morning and Wonwoo wonders how things would have turned out if he hadn’t met Mingyu in this lifetime. 

“Come in. I’m done.” 

The door opens a bit and Mingyu’s head peeks out from the frame. Wonwoo allows him in every part of the house, it isn’t that big anyway, but Mingyu is always so reserved, careful not to invade Wonwoo’s privacy in his room. 

“Uhh, I have… something for you.” His voice suddenly went from cheery to bashful and hesitant. 

“Hm? What is it?” Wonwoo asks, looking through hung clothes to pick a sweater so he and Mingyu can go on their afternoon walk. 

Mingyu shyly opens the door and hands Wonwoo a paper bag. 

“Food?” Wonwoo grins, accepting the bag. Mingyu has a knack for bringing him random snacks he finds everywhere. From a free taste stall in the mall, a street vendor near the park, a newly opened cafe, or a pop-up store. 

“No, but I hope it’s better than food…” Mingyu mutters under his breath, eyes nervous as he watches Wonwoo wrestle the item out of the bag. 

“Oh.” 

It’s soft to the touch and in that lavender shade color he likes. It’s thick enough to keep him warm, but also pleasantly lightweight to use in autumn. 

The crocheted sweater is comfortably oversized, and Wonwoo sees himself wearing it even post-partum. 

“This is…” 

Mingyu reaches to scratch at his nape, the tip of his ears turning red, and his canine grin, nervous. 

“I… asked granny from the first floor to teach me how to crochet. Some parts need improvement and I might have to do that again. I can’t find that specific green but you mentioned you like purple so I just—” 

Wonwoo smiles and moves to hold Mingyu’s hand. He caresses the other’s knuckles before giving it a gentle squeeze. 

“It’s perfect, Mingyu.” 

Wonwoo didn’t think Mingyu would remember or even know that fleeting moment at the mall. 

After all, the taller man was lining up for ice cream when he entered the apparel store and asked about the cardigan. 

‘He’s impossible...'

Wonwoo wears it with ease and he swoons at how soft it is against his skin. It has a subtle v-neck, low to show his collarbones but just modest enough, and long, airy sleeves that allow sweater paws, perfect because his hands are easily cold. 

He turns to the mirror, noticing how he looks brighter in this color. The lavender complements his skin and pitch-black hair, it’s light, allowing Wonwoo to move without any constraints. 

And for some reason, it feels like he had owned this sweater for years. 

“Do you… like it?” Mingyu asks. 

“I do. Thank you. It’s so lovely.”  

Mingyu’s smile is beautiful like he is happiness personified and Wonwoo is pleased to know he’s the one to put that on his face. 

“I’m glad you like it, Wonwoo. You look really beautiful." 

Mingyu gently grabs his arms, pulling and fixing the sleeves before intertwining their fingers. 

“Let’s go?” 

Wonwoo thinks he can forget about that old cardigan now. 

 

** 

Wonwoo felt it when he was taking a bath one night. 

There’s no pain but water is trickling down his legs and he knows it’s not from the shower. 

‘Oh.’ 

He carefully walks out of the bathroom, wrapping and drying himself with a fluffy robe. By now, it’s obvious that his water has broken when he still feels an uncontrollable gush of fluid down his thighs. 

So he puts on comfy boxers lined with adult diapers. He doesn’t know how much water it can hold, but he hopes it’ll sustain until at least he gets to the delivery room. 

He isn’t due for another week but his doctor has already warned him that it can happen anytime by the thirty-seventh week. 

So Wonwoo has been getting ready for the surprise that it will be. 

His and the baby bag, all packed and ready to go by the door. 

The finances and documents are prepared and slotted in a portfolio folder.

Physical health, yes. He just wants to pop his baby out safely and healthily and so far, there were no complications found during his visits and ultrasounds. 

Emotionally? He likes to think he is, but he also knows no one is ever ready for parenthood, no one just wakes up one day thinking they are prepared to be parents. 

There’s no manual on how to raise a kid right, but there will be experiences to learn from. 

Wonwoo sends a text to his parents, breaking the news as cheerily as he can to ease their nerves. 

‘The grandson is coming!’ He adds an emoji with the party popper at the end. 

He had already told them which hospital to go to, briefed them on where things were and what documents were needed in case the doctor or nurses asked, and…

Who to expect will be waiting alongside them in the hospital room. 

‘Mingyu…’ 

He remembers that exact moment Mingyu asked if he could meet his parents. 

It was seven in the morning and Wonwoo woke up with this insane craving for scrambled eggs with milk, butter, pepper, and toast, and Mingyu was just the person to make it perfectly to his liking. 

(It’s a simple dish he could make but he couldn’t seem to add the right amount of milk. His last attempt made it too watery.)

And amid the peaceful breakfast, Mingyu broke the silence. 

“Can I, perhaps…” 

“Hm?” 

“Meet your parents?” 

“... why?” 

Wonwoo didn’t mean to ask why, it just came right out of his mouth. It’s too rude, like telling Mingyu who even is he to meet Wonwoo’s parents, what importance does he pose to even get to that extent? 

But maybe it’s just Wonwoo overthinking, overanalyzing his own thoughts, and thinking badly of all the things because Mingyu didn’t pay attention to the biting question. Instead, he smiles and a second later, a bashful grin blooms on his face. 

“Because they might be worried about you. I just want to introduce myself to them, tell them you’re safe with me.” 

They never got to that point, but Wonwoo did cryptically told his parents about a man who tied his shoelaces for him. 

He calls Mingyu and in a second, the other picks up. 

“Hey,” Wonwoo mutters, grabbing his wallet and phone from his room and slowly walks out to the living room. 

“Hi!” Mingyu’s voice is eager and Wonwoo had always wondered how he can have so much energy even late at night. 

“My water broke.” 

There’s silence before Mingyu’s alarmed voice rings from the other line. 

“Stay there. Please, just sit still.” 

Wonwoo chuckles and nods as if the other can see him.

“I will and calm down, Mingyu.” 

Mingyu doesn’t calm down, that much Wonwoo realizes when he hears shuffling, rustling, and the hurried and heavy steps. 

Not even a full minute later, he hears his front door chiming open and Mingyu emerges from the entryway, huffing out tired puffs of breath. His shirt is wrinkled and he is wearing mismatched socks. 

“Oh my God. Does it hurt? Where does it hurt? We have to go now. We have to get a cab. Where do I get a cab? Oh my God. I have a car. We have a car. Is he coming out? Should I… do I —”

“Mingyu, please calm down.” Wonwoo chuckles, beckoning for the other to sit with him, tapping the sofa. 

“Wonwoo! Let’s go to the hospital now!” Mingyu is pleading and Wonwoo can only laugh as he caresses his stomach. 

They indeed need to go to the hospital as fast as they can, but he’s not leaving the house until Mingyu calms down. 

With moments like these, someone has to stay composed, and seeing as Mingyu is panicking as if he’s the one about to give birth, Wonwoo has no choice but to be the levelheaded person in the room. 

The pain has yet to kick in and aside from the water leaking down there, Wonwoo is still pretty aware of what’s happening. 

He stands up to where Mingyu is, the taller’s arms reaching to steady him even though Wonwoo is wobbling slash walking just fine. 

Wonwoo pats Mingyu’s shoulder, urging him to cool down. 

“Inhale, exhale… That’s it. Let’s calm down before we go, okay? I don’t want you driving us to the hospital while you’re shaking, Mingyu.” 

Mingyu is wide-eyed, trying to even his breathing as he cups Wonwoo’s belly. 

Wonwoo laughs at this. 

“My belly is a what now? A magic crystal to help you calm down?” 

That instantly puts a smile on Mingyu’s face as he shyly chuckles. 

“Yeah, it is. It’s amazing.”

With one last heave of breath, Mingyu tenderly holds Wonwoo’s hands, picking up the bags with the other. 

And with one burst of courage, he kisses Wonwoo’s knuckles before giving them a feeble squeeze. 

“Let’s go meet our little one.” 

Chapter 3

“Are you the father, Sir?” 

Mingyu doesn’t know what to say. 

The inquiring nurse is patiently waiting for his reply but he doesn’t know what to say. 

In a way, he is the father, he will be the father. 

In how he plans to court Wonwoo properly after he has given birth and if he is allowed to, raise their little boy as his own. 

But, also, technically, he’s not. 

He and Wonwoo haven’t really talked about their situation, or what they are in this time and Mingyu has always sensed that the pregnant man is not comfortable naming what they currently have just yet. 

Wonwoo was at the end of his pregnancy when they fittingly met and there was so much to unpack and getting through the delivery safely became their priority. 

And Mingyu understands that, so he makes his intentions clear with actions he hopes Wonwoo will consider. 

He wants Wonwoo to know he is in this for the long haul. 

That he’s going to stay for a lifetime. 

“Uhh…” 

The nurse smiles at him before looking at the chart in her hand. 

“Then, please wait in room 214.” 

She must have felt Mingyu’s incoming question because she beat him right to it. 

“Unfortunately, we don’t allow spouses or family members in the delivery room but, rest assured, we will keep you updated on Mister Jeon’s condition.” 

Mingyu can only meekly nod, tensed nerves still lingering inside his body and his stomach tingles, performing somersaults like crazy. 

He enters room 214, a private room that smells like antiseptic with dull white walls, a table, chairs, and a bed. It’s cold and Mingyu is sweating out of nervousness so he ups the temperature before setting the bags down. 

He places Wonwoo’s favorite pillow on the bed, the pale blue pops out from the dry white covers and pulls out the extra change of clothes and adult diapers and piles them inside the closet. 

He checks the time and only ten minutes have passed. Wonwoo’s parents are to arrive in two, three hours, or maybe even in the morning if the elderly couple missed the last train. 

They were supposed to stay with Wonwoo during his due week, which is next week, but their little one decided to come out a bit early. He hopes they can make it in time to hold their grandson first. 

Mingyu sits down on the wooden bench lined with foam, looking up at the television. He turns it on to a rerun of a nineties drama. It’s almost midnight and nothing decent is playing so it’s a lonely company for his uneasy state but at least it tunes out the ringing in his ears. 

With nothing but his thoughts, Mingyu remembers the first time he met Wonwoo four years ago when the other had inquired about the available room for leasing in his building. 

Mingyu thought he was housing a fresh-out-of-college guy, only to raise his eyebrows when Wonwoo’s personal information sheet says he is twenty-nine years old, just a year older than he is. 

Mingyu remembers thinking that Wonwoo looked young for his age. 

The man moved in the next weekend and they had a pure landlord-tenant relationship until Mingyu found himself thinking about him far more than he thought he would. 

It’s no big deal, Mingyu used to think.

Wonwoo is an attractive man, established in his way and it was just a happy crush, anyway. 

One that makes him feel giddy for no reason, or one that makes his day when he bumps into the other on the elevator and Wonwoo greets him with a shy ‘Hello.’

It’s just a happy crush when he finds himself smiling at the mere thought of the man, when he practices his smiles or spends extra time styling his hair just in case he sees Wonwoo on the elevator again, or when he watched the movie Wonwoo posted on his Facebook to try to know him more through his interests. 

But maybe it wasn’t so much a happy crush anymore when he locked eyes with Wonwoo in a crowded cafe and the other beckoned to sit with him. 

They spent a good three hours, stuck on their seats, forty minutes away from home, the rain pouring heavily as they shared life stories and advice and laughed at each other’s funny misfortune over iced coffee and soggy fries. 

It didn’t take much for Mingyu to see something different of Wonwoo that night. 

But he was too worried that rushing head first would scare Wonwoo away, was so obsessed with building a magical connection that he forgot that his small seconds with the older man were nothing but that. 

Just small seconds in Wonwoo’s twenty-four hours. 

That was Mingyu’s first mistake. 

Not seeing Wonwoo with anyone else made Mingyu think the other was not entertaining suitors, or that because Wonwoo casually shrugged off relationship talks meant he was not interested was Mingyu’s second mistake. 

So while he was standing in place, baiting for chances, waiting for perfect moments, for red strings to naturally intertwine and, for destiny to do its work, Wonwoo was bringing another man home. 

He remembers seeing the ‘boyfriend’ the first time over slightly tinted car windows. 

They were kissing, small smiles on their locked lips. The man’s hand was on Wonwoo’s nape, playing with the tiny wisp of hair resting there while Wonwoo clutched at the other’s shoulders. 

They looked so in love and Mingyu looked lost. 

He started to dread seeing Wonwoo on the elevator, not because he hated him, but because his boyfriend would often come up to the unit with him. 

They would politely smile at Mingyu and he would retreat to the back corner of the enclosed space, desperately wishing for it to go faster. 

He hated that he would burn in jealousy seeing the man whisper something to Wonwoo’s ear and the other would cutely giggle. 

He hated seeing their fingers brush against each other like they were too shy to hold hands because Mingyu was around. 

He hated it. 

He hated his hesitation, he should have tried when he had his chances.

He hated the regret filling in his stomach, the nausea digging deep into his gut telling him how he fumbled so bad. 

Mingyu sighs and leans back to the wall. He tilts his head up to look at the equally dull ceiling. There has to be a justifiable reason why hospitals have such depressing colors because if they aren’t, Mingyu would like to sue. 

All these whites and muted shades just don’t do wonder, he thinks. 

He keeps this in mind, wondering if he should repaint his or Wonwoo’s home. 

Lost in thoughts again, he backtracks to roughly seven months ago when everything changed. 

The first time it caught Mingyu’s attention was at the apartment’s parking lot, mid-day when the other man was supposed to be at work but Mingyu found him hunched over a bush, vomiting his stomach out. 

Wonwoo reasoned out the viral stomach bug going around his office. He smiled at Mingyu to assure him. 

It didn’t assure Mingyu in any way. 

The following weeks led him to look at Wonwoo more closely than before. 

The other’s fair skin looked sickly pale, his undereyes darker, and he looked glum and tired. 

Mingyu would see him going out at ungodly hours of the night or early morning and he would wait by the hallway, looking at the terrace and waiting for Wonwoo to come back. 

He worried for his safety, but Wonwoo would always come home, a bit more cheery than when he left, carrying bags from the nearby convenience store or that bakery five streets down the apartment. 

Concern overfilled Mingyu’s mind… 

‘Is he okay? He looks sick.’ 

‘Where is he going? It’s late. Should I follow him? What if he thinks I’m a creep?’ 

‘He looks fine today and he’s eating that cheese bread for the fifth time this week. He must like it so much. Should I buy some for him later?‘

‘You can’t, Mingyu. He has a boyfriend.’

… that it didn’t dawn on him much earlier that he hadn’t seen Wonwoo’s boyfriend in months.

“Hi! I should help you with that,” Mingyu says, running down the stairs and just in time to catch Wonwoo trying to carry all five, heavy bags. 

“Oh, Mingyu. You didn’t have to…” Wonwoo was heaving, his face flushed red and drained from taking out the bags from the taxi. 

“Don’t worry about it.” He hauls all four, leaving Wonwoo with the lightest one. 

The elevator is slow, as usual, and Mingyu takes this time to observe Wonwoo from the metal doors. 

He is wearing a jock jacket, an oversized shirt and jeans. He looks healthier now compared to the last few months. He seems to have gained weight, judging from his fluffy and adorable cheeks, which Mingyu has to try his hardest not to pinch. 

And he’s glowing. 

‘So pretty…’ 

Only the two of them were in that entire elevator ride, so it got Mingyu mindful of the tiniest movement that he didn’t miss it when Wonwoo, who was only staring blankly ahead, unconsciously caressed his tummy. 

And only then did Mingyu notice the tiny bulge. 

‘Oh…’ 

He must have stared a bit too long because Wonwoo’s chuckle brings him back to reality. 

“Six months.” Wonwoo grins at him, a lovely smile on his equally lovely face. 

Wonwoo looks happy. 

“Wow. I didn’t notice. That’s… just wow. Congratulations to you and your boyfriend!” 

Wonwoo’s smile falters and Mingyu feels the heaviness in the air, his stomach sinking with unease as Wonwoo breaks eye contact. 

“He… he’s not around.” 

His third mistake was allowing Wonwoo to go through it alone for a month more as he seemed to can’t find the timing to even approach the pregnant man. 

Wonwoo’s parents and best friend are around more often during his sixth month, leaving Mingyu to look at him from afar, letting chances pass him by yet again. 

But that one fateful morning changed everything. As he was walking away, leaving Wonwoo at his front door, he thought there would never be a better time than this. 

Mingyu decided then and there that he would not let it pass. 

‘Not this time.’ Mingyu sighs in relief for the nth time that hour. Delivery went well, even though it sent Mingyu teetering into anxiousness, so much that he felt he was about to faint and vomit. 

Good thing Wonwoo’s parents arrived just in time. 

Mingyu was aiming for a more impressive first meeting, but all he could say was “Hello, my name is Mingyu.” before offering a cold, clammy, and shaking hand.

And all he remembered was Wonwoo’s parents softly smiling at him before his father patted his back and thanked him for taking care of Wonwoo all this time.  

Mingyu fixes the thin blanket over Wonwoo. He can’t wait to go home so Wonwoo can lie on a more comfortable bed with thicker blankets. 

He looks at one corner of the room where little Junseo, cradled by his grandmother, sleeps tightly in a swaddle. He’s only been out for a couple of hours, but when Mingyu took a peek earlier, he could already see Wonwoo in him, especially his eyes and lips. 

Mingyu is sure he’ll grow up handsome like his dada. 

Adjusting the air conditioner to a temperature he knows Wonwoo would find comfortable even in his sleep, Mingyu moves around the room to pack things back into the bags. 

They’ll probably be discharged come morning so he figures it’s best to clean up now to lessen the fuss. 

“Mingyu?” 

Mingyu looks up from folding Wonwoo’s shirt to see his father inviting him to come closer. Thinking the older man needs something, he stands up without hesitation. 

“Yes, mister Jeon?” He whispers, careful not to wake the little bundle of joy in his grandma’s arms. 

“Would you like to hold him?” 

Mingyu freezes in place, eyes moving back and forth between Wonwoo’s parents and Junseo. 

He didn’t, not once, attempt to hold the little baby, even when the nurse first offered Junseo to him, he politely declined and directed her to the grandparents waiting. 

It’s not because he doesn’t want to, he’s unsure if he has the right to. 

But looking at Wonwoo’s parents' expectant eyes, his mother already shifting position so she can give Junseo to him, has Mingyu’s heart beating fast and loud in his ears. 

“Can I…?” 

The elderly woman only chuckles and shakes her head out of fondness. 

“Oh, sweetheart. Of course, you can.” 

** 

 

‘Huh?’ 

Wonwoo blearily blinks his eyes, his vision adjusting to the dim room. Only the nightlamp and the tiny glow-in-the-dark stars they stuck on the ceiling offer light, it’s barely there and Wonwoo doesn’t even see them unless he’s wearing his glasses. 

‘Weird.’ 

He, oddly, feels well-rested. It’s unnatural for him to get this much sleep, this much-undisturbed rest ever since they’ve bought Junseo home. 

His eyes snap open at the realization. 

‘Junseo…!’ 

He scrambles out of bed, tripping on the blankets as he hurriedly turns on the light. Junseo’s crib is right beside his bed and tears start forming in his eyes when he sees that it’s empty. 

‘Where—’ 

His chest is threatening to collapse on him, and panic sinks in as wobbly feet dart straight out of the door and out into the living room, only to find Mingyu, on the sofa, his eyes so close to giving up on him but he aggressively shakes his head to rid the sleep out. 

On his chest is Junseo, dozing off soundly to the beat of Mingyu’s heart and he lays like he belongs there. 

“Mingyu…” Wonwoo whispers and the other man’s humming stops as he smiles at Wonwoo. 

“Hi,” he whispers back, waving to Wonwoo before patting the seat beside him. 

The sofa has turned into a makeshift bed with two pillows and a large blanket sitting on it. It has been Mingyu’s space for three weeks as he accompanies Wonwoo and Junseo throughout sleepless nights. 

His presence keeps Wonwoo sane on most days, something he is beyond grateful for. 

Wonwoo hesitantly sits on the sofa, his eyes trained on his sleeping baby. 

“I’m sorry. Was he crying? I must have been in deep sleep. I didn’t really hear…” 

Wonwoo is apologetic. Caring for a newborn is difficult. They have needs that are unidentifiable and their unpredictable sleeping patterns can drive a parent to exhaustion. 

“I was just checking up on you before going to sleep but this little buddy here was awake. He started crying when he saw me though so I picked him up. I hope that’s okay with you…” 

But, here is Mingyu, seemingly delighted to take on the job, as he gently runs a hand over Junseo’s back, staring down at him like he’s precious cargo. 

“Thank you, Mingyu.” 

Mingyu circles an arm around Wonwoo’s shoulder, tugging the other closer to him. Wonwoo relaxes, his body melting against the sofa’s soft cushion and his nose drowning in the smell of Mingyu’s after-shave spray. 

“Anything for you two.” 

** 

 

Wonwoo regrets taking a walk that morning. He should have stayed home and taken care of Junseo instead but Mingyu was insistent he get some fresh air before parenting duties took over the whole day. 

But now he regrets it with all his soul. He fucking regrets it as he curls into a ball behind a wall, listening to middle-aged ladies talk. 

“What a shame. He was such a nice man, too.” 

“It really is. He could do better. He has multiple leasing businesses and he’s handsome. Mingyu can get anyone he wants, but he chose…” 

“Well, that guy on the third floor is nice, too.” 

“Yeah, but Mingyu is not his baby’s father, is he?” 

“He’s not. I think they only got together when he was about to give birth.” 

“Really? He bagged a big fish.” 

“He’s pretty lucky to have Mingyu, but it’s too bad. Mingyu deserves better.” 

“Well, nothing is set in stone. They could still break up.” 

“But don’t you think it’s too fast? I haven’t seen them together before so I wonder when…” 

“Mingyu pities him. Ah, such a nice kid. I hope my daughter finds someone like him.” 

“Ooh, why don’t you introduce him to your daughter? She is really pretty…” 

Wonwoo tunes out the rest as he walks back into the apartment, but their voices are loud, haunting, and taunting him. 

With every heavy step, he feels tears blearing his vision and down his cheeks. He stops midway to wipe his eyes, ridding traces of weakness and what seems like feelings of humiliation. 

He’s not embarrassed by his situation, he will never be embarrassed of Junseo. The person who should be ashamed is his bastard of an ex-boyfriend who left him to fend for himself.  

Mingyu, his family, and friends never made him feel any different from what happened, never made him feel this small, this vulnerable. 

He walks slowly, wishing he had more time to himself, to clear his head, to scrap whatever nonsense he just heard. He doesn’t need it, especially now when he’s running on whatever his hormones dictate his body to do and feel. 

But in the blink of an eye, just as he was wiping the last of his cries, he had arrived back home. 

‘It’s nothing, Wonwoo. It’s nothing. It’s their opinion, you can’t change it. You did nothing wrong. You’re fine…’ 

He quietly opens the door, careful not to wake Junseo up in case he’s still asleep, but it’s Mingyu’s voice that greets him. 

“... happy birthday. Sorry, I can’t go to your party tonight. Sure, next time. Lunch is on me. Tell me in advance though so I can check my schedule. Yeah, yeah, I’m a bit busy these days…” 

The taller is leaning against the bedroom’s doorframe. He is occupied with a call, but his eyes are focused on the sleeping Junseo in his crib, and when he sees Wonwoo standing by the front door, he drops the call a second later. 

“Breakfast?” Mingyu asks, gently grabbing Wonwoo’s arm, and leading him to the dining table where a simple meal of eggs and bacon is served. 

“You can go, you know,” Wonwoo whispers as he plays with the food, moving around a piece of bacon with his fork. 

“Where?” 

“Birthday party.” 

Mingyu looks up at him, munching on eggs, before shaking his head. 

Their eyes meet and Mingyu smiles. 

And Wonwoo only used to see the good in it, how Mingyu is happy to be there with them, and how he is always so willing to take over caring for Junseo when he knows Wonwoo needs to rest. 

But now, Wonwoo can only see the dark eyebags plaguing the other’s face. Sleepiness lingers on his face and his stance looks more weary than before. 

Wonwoo thinks their whole situation is draining Mingyu. 

He is draining Mingyu. 

Not only of energy but of time the other is supposed to spend with family and friends and other people more important than him and Junseo. 

Wonwoo wonders how many times Mingyu has chosen them at the expense of his happiness and freedom. 

He wonders if he is caging Mingyu into this life when the taller is made to go out to the world. 

He wonders if what they said was true, that Mingyu is here because he feels Wonwoo needs saving. 

Because why else would a man, capable of greater things in life, settle with a person like him? 

Maybe they are right. 

Mingyu deserves better than slaving himself away to a pity party. 

“No, it’s fine. I’d rather be here anyway. Besides—” 

“Why?” 

Mingyu fumbles on his words for a bit. “Hmm?” 

“Why are you here, Mingyu?” 

“Uhh, to help take care of Junseo?” 

“You don’t need to. He’s not your child, after all.” 

Wonwoo’s tone is bitter and disrespectful to the things Mingyu has done for him, dismissing the millions of emotions Mingyu had made him feel. 

“Huh…?” 

Wonwoo sets down the fork on the plate, the utensil loudly clacking against the glass. 

“I said you don’t need to. I can take care of him just fine.” 

Mingyu sighs, worried about Wonwoo’s actions. He doesn’t understand, but at the same, he does. 

He tries to soothe him by reaching for the other’s hand on the table but the other quickly pulls away. 

“Wonwoo, I know you can, but I just thought it’d be better to be with you. It’s only been a month since you gave birth, you’re still exhausted and your body hasn’t fully recovered yet. You need help and I—” 

Wonwoo hastily stands, his chair falling to the floor, and his knuckles in tight fists. 

“I don’t need help! I don’t need someone to fix my life! I’m not a charity case, Mingyu!” 

Wonwoo swears to heaven he didn’t mean a damn thing he said. He knows it’s the hormones, the exhaustion, their words, speaking out of spite. 

“You… you don’t need to do this.” 

But it’s his heart that’s speaking now. 

“My life, my career, everything, I have to put on hold and that’s on me, but you…”

And maybe deep inside, it’s not being pitied that frustrates him, it’s like he knew that such a notion would eventually come. 

And maybe it’s Wonwoo, himself, that feels sorry for Mingyu. 

“You are not… this is not your life, Mingyu! I… we are not your responsibility! You don’t need to be stuck here, in this… gloomy room, losing sleep because of…! Because of someone else’s child!” 

His words hurt him and there’s the realization that in this universe, Junseo is not Mingyu’s child, that he can up and leave anytime because there’s nothing that ties them together. Not by law, not by blood. 

And Mingyu’s silence is terrifying, like he’s contemplating, like Wonwoo’s words finally make sense now that he voiced them out.  

“You asked me why I’m here and I’m going to tell you.” 

Mingyu’s voice is deep, a tone Wonwoo hasn’t heard of before. He rounds the table to where Wonwoo is, yet he keeps his distance. 

“I’m not here to save you, Wonwoo. You don’t need it. I’m not here to fix you either because you’re not broken.” 

Mingyu roams his eyes around Wonwoo’s apartment, a tiny home meant for one, but now houses two. The first time he’d been here, it was dull, a bachelor’s pad with its owner spending more time outside than in it. 

But now, there’s a tinge of yellow and blues and greens. Junseo’s folded playpen that he is yet to use, his high chair, a rocker, and a box of toys family and friends had gifted him, a bottle sterilizer with cute dinosaurs on it, magnetic alphabet letters on the fridge, and a tiny bookshelf on one corner of the room. 

It’s a far cry from what Mingyu was used to, so unlike what he had originally planned his life to be, but here he is. 

“I’m here because I love you.” 

Wonwoo flinches at Mingyu’s words, his confession a fire spark that burns his skin. 

“I love you and Junseo and this little life.” 

Mingyu gestures around the room and Wonwoo looks around the place where Mingyu has left tiny fragments of himself, where he scattered a bit of his love for Wonwoo and Junseo to feel. 

“I wouldn’t trade this out for another life. Not you two.” 

** 

 

“Shall grandpa take over?” 

Wonwoo weakly looks up to see his father peeking from the bedroom door. He smiles before shaking his head while he adjusts his sitting position against the headboard.

“No, Dad. I’m… I’m okay. He’s just really fussy tonight. You should go to sleep.“ 

In his arms is Junseo who’s been restless the whole night. He’s had his milk fill and diapers changed, but still, he refuses to be put down for more than five minutes. 

It’s two a.m., and Junseo has been squeamish and crying for hours. 

“Do you think he knows he’s not at home?” His father asks, an underlying meaning masked within his words. 

Wonwoo pretends he doesn’t get it. 

“No, Dad. I don’t think he is even aware we traveled,” Wonwoo says with a tired grin. His father mirrors his smile before nodding.

“Well, wake us up when you need anything, okay? Your mom and I will take over in the morning.”

“Thank you, Dad. Good night.” 

“Do you think he knows he’s not at home?” 

His father’s words continue to echo in his mind as he stares down at his whimpering son. 

“Do you know you’re not at home? That’s why you can’t sleep?” He whispers in the dead of the night, one finger reaching to gently poke Junseo’s soft cheek. 

The baby can only gurgle at his dada’s voice. 

Wonwoo sighs as he softly pats Junseo’s leg, humming a nursery song and hoping it’ll put him to sleep. He leans back to his neck pillow as he stifles a yawn. 

It’s been a week since he left home. 

Home being his studio unit or the magical man that is Mingyu, he doesn’t know. 

He felt he needed the time out, just a space to breathe and he knew the best way to do that was to go back to his family. 

He felt like Mingyu needed the time, too, to think through his decisions and what he was signing up for. 

Wonwoo wouldn’t hold it against the other if things go the opposite. After all, parenthood is a big responsibility. It’s not something to decide on overnight. 

But still, accepting and knowing that Mingyu might leave doesn’t stop the ache in his heart, it still doesn’t stop the tears from falling down his eyes. 

Wonwoo tries to stop a sob from bubbling out of his throat as he clutches at the painful, constricting feeling in his chest. 

Junseo, seemingly sensing his dada’s distress, starts to cry at that moment, his tiny gloved fist reaching for Wonwoo.  

“Ssh, it’s okay, it’s okay. Dada’s okay, baby. I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” 

Wonwoo tries to hold it together as he cradles Junseo in his arms, brushing a finger against the baby’s cheek before planting a light kiss on his forehead. 

“It’s okay, we’ll be okay…” 

Junseo’s distressed cry still resounds around his childhood bedroom and Wonwoo can’t help but tear up out of frustration and tiredness. 

He taps his phone open to check the time, only to find out what seemed like hours has only been thirty minutes. 

Wonwoo harshly throws his glasses to the bed and exasperatedly wipes his face. He picks up his phone, this time intent on looking up why Junseo is inconsolably fussy when the device vibrates in his hand. 

Mingyu 

Wonwoo remembers Mingyu’s face when he told the other he’d go home in the meantime. He looked dejected, but he hid it with a smile, saying he understands and even offered to drive him and Junseo. 

Wonwoo hates himself for that. Of all the things Mingyu has done for him, them, this is how he repays him. 

By hurting him, jumping to a nonsense conclusion of why the taller man stays, and belittling his feelings and emotions into mere pity. 

But, Mingyu is still here. 

Three hours away from them, yet he knew Wonwoo needed him the most. 

With shaky breath, he answers the call. 

“Hi…” Mingyu’s sleepy voice booms out from the speaker. 

“Mingyu…” 

“Did I wake you— hmm? Is Junseo crying?” 

Wonwoo nods even if Mingyu can’t see him, he nods because he knows his voice will fail him. 

Can he possibly tell Mingyu he’s crying alongside his son? Because he misses him? 

“Are you two okay?” The taller man’s worried voice rings and Junseo shifts in Wonwoo’s arms. He immediately taps the Speaker button, puts the phone on hands-free, and sets it down to the bed. 

“Yeah, he’s just… I don’t know. I need to look it up. It might be colic but he’s been crying and all fussy since earlier.” 

Silence, but strangely, it doesn’t bother Wonwoo, unlike all the other times the silence has driven him mad. 

Silence, this time, is comfortable and warm. 

‘Huh? Quiet?’ 

“... Should I go there?” 

“Huh?” 

Wonwoo looks back down to Junseo, who’s been quiet. His fox-like eyes, which he got from Wonwoo, are wide open, curious, and attentive to Mingyu’s voice. 

“Do you want me to—”

“He… stopped crying.” 

“Hmm?” 

“He’s calm now…” 

“Really? That’s good. Is he sleepy?” 

“Do you think he knows he’s not at home?” 

His father’s words are heavy, shedding light on Wonwoo’s troubled mind and heart. 

Maybe Junseo does know he’s not at home. 

“He… misses you,” Wonwoo whispers, light and airy in a way he’s unsure if Mingyu heard him. 

Mingyu chuckles on the other line. “You think so?” 

“I know so. He’s listening to you and it’s the quietest he’s been in four hours.” 

Mingyu hums and Wonwoo hears shuffling before the taller man comes back on the phone, bringing with him soft guitar strums. 

“Should I sing you something, Junseo? What do you want, little bud? Twinkle, twinkle, little star?” 

Not even twenty minutes later, supported by Wonwoo’s small taps and gentle swaying, Junseo sleeps to Mingyu’s voice singing Rock-a-Bye Baby. 

Wonwoo moves swiftly and quietly, laying their little baby in his crib. Mingyu is still on the phone, his breathing the only thing that can be heard in the room. 

With Junseo, Wonwoo didn’t need to talk to Mingyu, but now, he faces him with a throbbing heart. He, truthfully, doesn’t know how. 

He picks up his phone while bringing the blanket to his body.  

“Hi…” 

“You should go to sleep, too, Wonwoo.” 

“You too.” 

“Should I come over in the morning?” Mingyu asks, his voice is hopeful. 

Wonwoo shakes his head. “No, no. It’s dangerous to drive when you’re lacking sleep, you know.” 

“Hmm…” 

Wonwoo buries his face into his pillow, wondering where he’ll go from here. 

“No, really. It’s okay, Mingyu. I can manage.” 

He’s too embarrassed to go back to his unit, he can’t face Mingyu after all that has happened, but he can’t stay here with his parents forever. 

They are older now, way past their prime, and caring for a newborn is too taxing. He can’t possibly ask them to stay up late into the night and cradle a baby all up in the morning. 

“Wonwoo.” 

“Hmm?” 

“You can come home.” 

He still doesn't know if home is the one-bedroom unit he’s been leasing for five years, the place that has seen his ups and downs. 

“You can always come home.” 

Or if home is Mingyu, a love personified. 

 
**

 

3 years later

 

“Okay, good!” Mingyu taps Wonwoo’s shoes after tying up his shoelaces, double-knotting the string. He looks up to see the other gently smiling down on him before reaching to brush his now-long hair. 

“Thank you.” 

“Mine too, Pa!” Junseo energetically stomps his feet to the floor, the strings of his shoes flying all over the place and Mingyu moves to tie them too. 

“Calm down, little guy. You’ll run out of energy before we can even get to the park,” Mingyu says, laughing as Junseo can’t seem to sit still. 

“Your hair’s getting long, Min.” Wonwoo tucks a handful of strands behind his ear and Mingyu tilts his head to place a gentle kiss on his hand. 

“Should I cut them?” He asks, but Wonwoo shakes his head. 

“No, it’s okay. Let’s braid them!” 

Mingyu laughs, hoisting Junseo into his arms and his other hand reaching for Wonwoo’s as they walk out to the parking lot. 

“Braid? I don’t mind, but all of a sudden? Do you even know how?” 

Wonwoo softly chuckles. “I really don’t.” 

Mingyu grins and sways their intertwined hands. 

“Tell me if you don’t feel well so we can head home. You understand right, little bud? Dada is sick so we have to go home once he’s not feeling well, okay?” 

Junseo nods and Wonwoo tries to hide the secret smile blooming on his lips.  

He’s been unwell for weeks now, vomiting at random hours of the day. He blamed it on an officemate who was on vacation and got back to the office, bringing with him the flu. 

But just one day, he finds himself at the pharmacy, purchasing three pregnancy tests, after the persistent symptoms strikingly feel familiar. 

“Be careful!” Wonwoo shouts at Mingyu and Junseo who almost collided into another playing father-son duo. 

Instinctively, he reaches to caress his still-flat tummy. He still has a couple of months before knowing the gender, but his intuition has been tingling all week. 

It’s never too early to start learning how to braid, right?

After all, their daughter would want pretty braids soon. 

Notes:

That's it for this little fam! Thank you so much for patiently waiting for updates and for reading! Let me know your thoughts <3

Chapter 4

Summary:

What goes on in their little life :)

“Da…” 

“Huh?” 

“Da…da…” 

“Oh my God.” 

“Daaaaa…” 

Mingyu is tearing up, a shaky hand desperately trying to hold his phone up as he records the precious, oh-so-precious moment of Junseo saying his first word. 

Dada. For Wonwoo. 

Wonwoo is beside him, hands covering his mouth in bewilderment as Junseo squeals, clapping his little hands together, squabbling out “da da” every passing seconds. 

“You smart, smart boy!” Mingyu picks Junseo up and smothers him with gentle kisses. 

“Say it again? Da…” 

“Dada!” 

“Awwww! Won!” Mingyu looks at him, his eyes glittering like stars and sand and diamonds, just everything that sparkles and it’s so beautiful. 

So beautiful that Wonwoo feels a sting in the corner of his eyes, watching Mingyu and Junseo smile as if they are meant for each other. 

“You’re so smart like your Dada, aren’t you? Just like your Dada.” Mingyu continues to cuddle Junseo, their baby loving all the attention and his bubbly chortles fill the room. 

“Da!” Junseo reaches for Wonwoo, and he picks him up and cradles him to his chest. 

He looks at Mingyu and there’s a proud smile on the other’s face. Wonwoo doesn’t dare grab the credit, it was Mingyu who’s been persistent with Junseo’s first word. 

“It’s nap time, right? I’ll go grab his bottle,” Mingyu says after taking a peek at the wall clock. 

He is immediately on his feet as Wonwoo settles on the bed, moving to lean on the headrest and propping a pillow below his arm. 

Junseo’s still awake, but Wonwoo knows he’ll be down after his bottle. He’s looking at Wonwoo, mirroring the same fox-like eyes and a quiet titter as he plays with his father’s finger. 

“That’s right. I’m your dada.” 

At the word “dada”, Junseo gurgles, happily. It’s incomprehensible, but it’s melody to Wonwoo’s ears. 

“And you have a papa… Pa… pa,” Wonwoo whispers, nodding as Junseo listens, his lips moving to mimic, but no sound comes out just yet. 

“Is he sleeping already?” Mingyu comes in, shaking the bottle in his hand as he slowly approaches the bed. 

“Not yet. Almost.” 

Mingyu handed Wonwoo the bottle before slowly ruffling Junseo’s hair. 

“Do you want me to put him to sleep?” 

Wonwoo shakes his head. “It’s okay. I’ll do it. You take a nap, too.” 

Mingyu is already doing too much for him and Junseo, especially with Wonwoo working, even if it’s from home. Also, their baby associates play time with Mingyu, so he fights off sleep whenever Mingyu’s around. 

“Nah, I’m good. I’ll make you something to eat.” Mingyu caresses the baby’s cheek one more time before quietly heading out of the room. 

“That’s your papa, baby. He takes very good care of us, don’t you think?” 

There’s a fine line between what’s going on with him and Mingyu as a pair and what’s going on with him and Junseo and Mingyu as a family. 

Wonwoo decided to take it slow, building a foundation with Mingyu first before piecing together a life they could call home with Junseo. 

Mingyu has made it clear. Parenting, discipline, and decisions all still lie with Wonwoo, and sometimes, he fails to realize how important his input is, too, as he skirts around the idea of parenting and deciding for the three of them. 

He is still unsure of his place in their life, even though he is sure of what he wants to be. 

Which baffles Wonwoo because Mingyu’s respectfulness really blinded him to what this all will lead to. 

“He’s your papa. He’s a bit slow so we have to say it to his face, okay? He loves you. He loves dada, too, and we love him just as much.” 

Junseo squeaks as if he understands, but Wonwoo knows their baby does. 

After all, it’s hard not to know Mingyu’s love when he’s an epitome of what love is. 

“Pa…” 

“Huh?” 

“Papa…” 

“Huh…” 

“Papa!” Junseo crawls towards Mingyu, a round of giggles escapes his lips as he climbs to Mingyu’s lap. 

Mingyu hoists him up, staring at him with disbelief. “Huh…”

“Do you want his next word to be ‘Huh’? Wonwoo laughs from the side, nonchalantly folding Junseo’s clothes. 

“Won…” 

“Yes, pa?”