Chapter Text
Toni heard the unmistakable sound of the front door lock clicking, picking up her phone to see the time. 8:56 PM. She sighed, realizing Shelby was getting back home from her third date this week, with the third different good ol boy her father had set her up with.
Shelby swung the door open, dropping her purse on the table in the entryway and kicking out of her boots. She drug her feet towards where Toni was lounging on their couch, falling back into the cushions. Toni just watched, lifting her arm, knowing Shelby’s routine after these dates.
Shelby’s legs, as expected, landed across Toni’s thighs seconds later. Toni lowered her arm, massaging Shelby’s calves, same as she always did.
“Looks like you had a great night. How was Walker? Boone? Dallas?”
Shelby rolled her eyes, correcting her. “Colton, and I had the best time, obviously.”
Toni raised an eyebrow, laying her head back on the cushion and letting it loll to the side, eyes on Shelby as she collected her words, preparing to vent.
“Lord, this one claimed he was the next Willie Nelson. Can you believe that? The nerve.”
Toni hummed, “Wow, how dare he?”
“That’s what I’m saying! I swear, if I wasn’t gay before, I definitely am now.”
Toni chuckled, head shaking softly. “Wine?”
“Please,” Shelby practically moaned, raising her legs so Toni could get up, heading into the kitchen to retrieve two glasses, their favorite bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon, and a pint of rocky road for good measure.
She brought her haul back into the living room, Shelby taking the bottle and opener from her. She frowned at the ice cream in Toni’s hands, realizing she didn’t bring anything to eat it with.
“Spoons?” Shelby questioned, to which Toni rolled her eyes.
“Of course, how could I forget? Anything else you want me to grab for you, Princess? I could fluff your pillows if you’d like,” she said in a playful mocking tone, squeezing the cushion behind Shelby’s head.
Shelby scowled at her as she slapped her arm away, leaning forward to stand and get the spoons herself, but Toni pushed her back down. “Chill, Bee. I was kidding, just ran out of hands. I’ll be right back,” she promised, pressing a kiss to Shelby’s forehead as she left to grab their utensils.
She and Shelby had always had a physical relationship. They cuddled during movie nights, didn’t hesitate to hold hands if one of them needed comforting, and kisses on cheeks or foreheads were just standard practice, strictly platonic of course.
However, their friends still gave them hell for it. It took months, and both Shelby and Toni getting girlfriends their sophomore year to convince them they weren’t secretly dating.
Shelby’s relationship ended within a few months, her girlfriend Becca constantly on her case for not being out yet, to the point that Shelby broke up with her. She was heartbroken, not as much at the loss of the relationship, but for feeling as if it was her fault. That she didn’t have the courage to be fully herself.
Toni had held her all night, making an overly detailed, slightly dramatized list of all the ways that Becca was a moron, and telling her she had never met anyone stronger.
Toni’s own relationship ended not long after, Regan claiming that Toni always put Shelby before her. Toni of course denied that, saying their relationships were completely different, but Regan wouldn’t let it go, eventually asking Toni to choose between them.
Toni was infuriated at being given this ultimatum, breaking up with Regan on the spot because there was no way the relationship would work out if that was the mentality.
Unlike Shelby who had wanted to lay in bed for days after her breakup, Toni needed to get her energy out. She practically lived at the gym between classes and basketball practices.
Shelby was typically the girl camped out on the cardio equipment when she worked out, but conveniently decided she wanted to get into weight training right after Toni’s breakup.
Toni saw right through her act, but she had been trying to bribe Shelby into working out with her for a while, so who was she to say no? The next few weeks were spent with Toni teaching Shelby everything she knew about lifts, half the time Shelby just sitting on the equipment beside her, saying she was watching her form, but likely just taking a break.
It was a perfect distraction. They both always seemed to know exactly what the other needed in times of distress. They were practically soulmates. Platonic, of course.
Which is why Toni chose wine and ice cream tonight over beer and pizza. She knew when Shelby was this frustrated she wanted something sweet.
As she reached the kitchen, she looked back over her shoulder at her best friend and her heart ached. Shelby had been out to her since they were 18, and had come out to her family right before the start of their junior year, but her Dad had convinced her that it was best not to make her sexuality public given her growing popularity these days.
Toni was less than thrilled at his influence, but Shelby talked her down. She promised that she agreed with him, at least for the time being. When she was ready, she would tell the world and Dave wouldn’t be able to hold her back.
What started as late night scribbles in a spare notepad, chord after chord being strummed in their dorm room, and countless nights spent bouncing lyric ideas off of Toni had shifted to playing local venues, collaborations with other artists, and now, recording her very first solo album.
Her career didn’t really pick up until they graduated last year when she had time to pour herself into her songwriting, but now people were starting to recognize her name, claiming she was the next big thing in country music.
Toni felt so lucky to have known Shelby from the start, and to now be on her team, for lack of better term. Toni had gotten her degree in computer science, so she knew her way around a code and had taken on the responsibility of running Shelby’s webpage, keeping her fans up to date on her most recent happenings.
She picked up two spoons, making her way back over to Shelby, pushing them both into the ice cream and sitting it in between them.
Shelby had poured them each a glass while she was gone, Toni’s sitting on the coffee table while Shelby held hers carefully, bringing it up to her lips to take a sip.
Toni was much less delicate, taking a rather large drink from her own glass. “So, hillbilly behind door number three wasn’t the one?”
Shelby looked at her with annoyance. “Do we have to keep doing this? I know you think it’s stupid, but -“
Toni cut her off, sitting her glass back on the table and scooting beside her, placing a hand on her knee.
“Bee, that’s not it. It’s not stupid. I just… I hate it. It’s making you miserable, and for what? You’re the most talented girl I know. Why do you have to pretend to be into guys in the first place?”
Shelby’s face fell into a frown. “You know my Daddy, T. He’s convinced that if the public found out about me being into girls it would ruin my career. Sure, I’m at my wits end, but at least I still have my record deal.”
Toni sighed heavily, wishing there was more she could do. Her fingers squeezed Shelby’s knee, a tender smile on her lips. “I get it. I mean, I don’t, but I get it’s a complicated situation. Just so you know, if and when you decide you do want to come out, I’ve got your back. Anyone that’s a real fan will too. It’s 2023, everyone isn’t as close minded as they used to be.”
Shelby sighed, letting her hand that wasn’t holding her glass drop to her lap, taking hold of Toni’s.
“I know that. I’m just not ready yet. I want people to recognize me for my music, not for some sleazy article speculating who I’m sleeping with.”
“Ok then, playing devil’s advocate, what’s different about them assuming you’re hooking up with these guys?”
Shelby closed her eyes, exhaling tiredly as she laid her head back. “It’s a front Toni. Daddy’s pulling his manager card and having me build a character. And no one’s speculating I’m sleeping with the guys, just dating them. As far as the press is concerned I’m saving myself.”
Toni rolled her eyes, scoffing playfully. “That ship sailed sophomore year.”
Shelby stared daggers at her, punching her shoulder. Toni chuckled as she rubbed her arm.
“Like I said, as far as the press is concerned. And can we not talk about Becca? Like, ever again?”
Toni laughed to herself as she finished off her wine, taking the ice cream into her lap and spooning a heaping bite into her mouth.
Shelby’s eyes dropped down to her wine, looking contemplative as she swirled it around in the glass.
“What’s up, Bee?”
Shelby shook her head. “It’s nothing. I’m just tired I guess. It feels like everywhere I go, somebody's asking me to, like… meet some kind of expectation. It's a lot, is all. The pressure.”
Toni stretched forward, sitting the pint onto the table in front of her. She turned her hand upwards in Shelby’s lap, interlacing their fingers. Shelby smiled softly at the gesture, gripping her hand tighter.
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, you know? I’m always here for you,” Toni ensured.
“I know you are. Thank you, by the way. Everything right now is just so… stressful. You’re pretty much the only thing keeping me sane,” she admitted.
Toni smiled gently, lifting her arm so Shelby could lay her head down on her chest, her fingers tracing up and down Shelby’s tricep. She bent down, kissing the into her hair for a few seconds before resting her chin there. Shelby let out a long sigh, relaxing into her.
“I mean, I get it. I’m pretty fucking great,” Toni said teasingly, Shelby sitting up and swatting her chest.
“I was just trying to be nice and you have to get all full of yourself.”
Toni laughed, pulling Shelby back into her side. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I promise I’ll be serious, but, it’s not like I lied.”
Shelby lifted an unimpressed eyebrow as she looked up at her, waiting for Toni to stop messing around.
Toni’s teasing expression softened, sincerely saying, “In all honesty, I’ve got your back. I have since we were 18 and I always will. Is there anything I can do to help?”
Shelby sipped down the last few drops of her wine before placing it on the table, laying her head back down and letting her fingers outline the front pocket of Toni’s hoodie. “I just need to find some way to blow off steam. I feel like I'm one invasive interview from some no-name reporter away from just snapping.”
Toni, feeling the effects of the alcohol start to hit her system, laughed, seeing her window of opportunity to make another jibe at Shelby.
“You know what’s great for that?”
Shelby hummed against her, recognizing the tone of Toni’s voice and knowing whatever she was about to say wouldn’t likely be helpful, but entertaining at the very least.
“What?” Shelby asked at Toni’s hesitation.
Toni clamped her mouth shut because was she really about to suggest that to Shelby?
“Um, forget it. Dumb idea,” Toni said, moving her fingers up to Shelby’s hair. She scratched lightly at her scalp, hoping to distract her but Shelby was stubborn.
“Tell me, Toni. I’m willing to try just about anything at this point. Who knows? I might just shave my whole head. Maybe the press will start calling me Shelbald or something and forget about dates all together.”
Toni laughed loudly at the absurdity of it, picturing Shelby with a fully shaven head. “You know, I think it’d be hot.”
“Oh hush, you. I’m obviously joking. Really though, what were you going to say?”
Toni let out a heavy exhale, knowing Shelby wasn’t going to give up anytime soon. “I was gonna say sex is great stress relief, but -” Toni cut herself off, knowing she could play off the suggestion as a drunken joke if she didn’t elaborate further. She tensed regardless, anticipating Shelby’s next slap, but instead she heard her breath hitch.
Shelby sat up, a challenging expression on her face. “Are you offering?”
Toni’s eyes grew comically large, jaw dropping slightly. “Offering what?”
Shelby smirked, her own wine giving her the confidence to be more bold, “Sex,” she repeated, having to hold back a laugh at Toni’s shocked face.
Toni let out a nervous laugh, “Very funny, Bee. Really had me going there for a second.”
“I’m not trying to be funny, T. I think it could be… fun at the very least.”
Toni squeezed her eyes shut, trying to sort through what Shelby was saying. She wasn’t drunk, but her mind was pretty fuzzy from drinking so quickly.
She pushed through it, asking, “Why would you want me? I’m sure you know plenty of other girls that would jump at the opportunity to be with you, Shelby.”
Shelby bit her lip, sitting up beside Toni and pulling her knee under her chin. “This is all still real new to me. I just, I trust you, T. I can’t be sure someone else wouldn’t use me and go straight to some journalist to get their 15 minutes of fame. It’s not like we haven’t kissed before.”
“We’ve kissed twice, and they were just drunk pecks as dares. We’ve never kiss-kissed.”
Shelby looked at her amused. “It’s cute that you remember how many times we’ve kissed, T,” she teased, smirking at Toni’s reddening cheeks. “And what exactly makes a kiss-kiss?”
Toni huffed, “You know the difference, Bee. I just…”
“If you don’t want to, we don’t have to, obviously. But… I wouldn’t be opposed.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to. You’re just my best friend. I don’t want to fuck that up.”
“Nothing could mess up our friendship, I am certain of that. I just think it would be a nice distraction. We don’t have to make it a big thing. Just, if one of us has a bad day or something.”
Toni’s eyes narrowed, searching Shelby’s face for any sign of insincerity. “I really feel like you’re pulling my leg here. Are you drunk right now?”
Shelby rolled her eyes. “I had one glass, and I paced myself. Which wouldn't kill you to learn how to do that, by the way. You’ve seen me drunk, this isn’t it. You, however, are absolutely tipsy. Why don’t we sleep on it and we can talk again in the morning?”
Shelby leaned over, kissing Toni’s cheek before standing, taking their empty glasses and the ice cream back into the kitchen to put away. She came back to put the cork back in the wine, laughing to herself when she saw Toni hadn’t moved an inch.
After putting the half empty bottle back in the fridge, she walked towards her own room, telling Toni goodnight.
Toni cleared her throat, realizing she had spaced out, mumbling a quiet, “Yeah. Night, Bee,” and watching Shelby walk into her own room.
Once Shelby was out of sight, Toni let herself collapse back into the couch. She brought her hands up to her face, running them up over her hair. She laid there for a few minutes, getting lost in her mind again when she heard Shelby’s shower start running, realizing she needed to get herself ready for bed too.
She rocked forward, using the momentum to stand up and drug herself to her own room. She changed into an old baggy t-shirt and boxers before flopping into her bed, kicking around at her balled up comforter until it was unraveled enough to pull over her body.
Now that she was in the quiet of her own room, she finally felt like she could process everything that had happened tonight.
Shelby was stressed, at her breaking point, and needing something to help her chill out. That Toni understood. That made sense. But sex? With her? That’s where things got more confusing.
Toni would be lying if she said she didn’t find Shelby attractive, conventionally speaking, but every time her feelings felt more like attraction, she withdrew. But now, after Shelby so blatantly told her what she wanted, Toni finally let her mind drift there.
Shelby wanted them to have sex. Casual sex, situational sex, but sex nonetheless. Sex with her best friend, the girl she had turned to in all the ups and downs of her last few years, the one person in her life she knew she could count on without question, sans Martha.
Toni’s eyes fluttered shut, feeling a confusing combination of uncertainty and arousal mixing in her belly, but she knew one thing for sure.
She’d do whatever the fuck Shelby asked her to do, especially if it would make her days more bearable, apparently without much persuasion.
“Fuck,” she whispered to herself, hardly believing that she was actually going to agree to this.
Toni woke up the next morning, still feeling drowsy, but knowing the only thing that would help was coffee. She kicked her covers off, using her fingers to work through her bed head before making her way to the kitchen.
Shelby was always more of an early riser than herself, but Toni was still surprised to see breakfast and coffee prepared.
Shelby was fully ready for her day, dressed and makeup on, finishing wiping down the counters.
“What are you doing?” Toni questioned, gratefully taking the offered mug and sitting down at the dining table.
“I have to leave in a few minutes for the studio so I have time to work before the interview later,” Shelby said dismissively, going back to cleaning.
“Yeah, but it looks like you’ve been up for hours,” Toni said, looking around their space and seeing everything spotless. It looked as if no one had ever lived there.
“I couldn’t really sleep. Listen, Toni. About last night -“
“I’m in,” Toni said quickly, knowing she would lose the confidence to do so if she waited a second longer.
Shelby stopped wiping the counters, dropping the rag and facing Toni with wide, surprised eyes. “You are?”
Toni shrugged, trying to feign nonchalance. “Yeah, it’s just a way to blow off some steam, right? Work’s been a lot lately with deadlines and all, and you said yourself, you’re at your breaking point. If you think it would help, I’m cool with it. It’s like you said, we don’t have to make it a big thing.”
Shelby nodded slowly, taking it all in. “You’re sure?”
Toni smiled, hoping her body language read more relaxed than she felt. She knew this would be completely new territory for their friendship, but she agreed because she trusted Shelby with her whole heart.
“I’m sure, Bee,” she promised, standing up and wrapping Shelby in a hug.
Shelby stiffened for a moment, surprised at Toni’s abrupt show of affection, before hugging her back. They stood there for a few seconds when Shelby’s phone started ringing, Dave calling to make sure she was on her way to the studio.
Shelby rolled her eyes as she answered, squeezing Toni’s arm with a soft smile as she released her. She grabbed her purse from the counter, hanging up after telling her dad she was on her way.
“Have a good day, T. I’ll see you tonight. Want me to pick up dinner?”
“That works. Good luck today, Bee.”
Toni let out a weighted breath as soon as she was gone, absentmindedly chewing on her toast and sipping her coffee before retiring back to her office, which was really just a cluttered desk in her bedroom, to attempt to find some focus and start her own day.