Chapter Text
“‘Mione!” Ronald Weasley spoke loudly out of the fireplace. “Are you there?”
“No,” she called out from her seat on the green velvet sofa. She sat reading a book on layering spellwork between two older wizards. Or rather she was lounging in her usual position between the two wizards: Her feet on the lap of the one with black, slightly curled hair (no match for her curls but lovely nonetheless) with his moonlight eyes trained on his book as he massaged her bare foot with one hand; her back against the torso of the one with sandy hair and emerald eyes focused on his own book as one scarred hand played with her wild brown curls, still slightly damp from her shower earlier. All were entirely absorbed in their respective books but managed to share a levitating glass of firewhisky between them. She raised a question of the use of catalyst elements when layering spells that prompted the start of what would have been a rather fascinating conversation for the three had they not been interrupted by a visitor from the floo.
The tall red-headed wizard stepped through, his cornflower blue eyes flashing a darker blue in anger as he took in the positions of the cozy trio in the Black Family Library. Crookshanks raised his head from his curled position by the feet of the sandy haired wizard and hissed at the visitor before promptly rising and strutting past him. The half-kneazle’s bushy tail brushed against the red-headed wizard and flicked at him annoyingly before walking out of the room. The trio watched the familiar leave and looked up at their visitor in surprise. They had forgotten about the voice in the fireplace from minutes ago, so engrossed were they on their conversation.
Hermione immediately grew annoyed, “What do you want, Ronald?” Her firewhisky eyes returned to her book, promptly ignoring him. She wrote notes in a small notebook balanced on her bare thigh, before tucking her Muggle pen behind one ear. She had paperclips attached to the bottom of her khaki shorts, and she placed one clip along the line on the page in her notebook and added the page number of the book she was reading as a reminder to herself when she reviewed the notes later. Any suggestion to use the paperclip on the book itself would earn a scornful look and a monologue on the importance of preserving old texts.
The older wizards looked at each other in surprise, whole conversations spoken in the meeting of eyes, slight raise of an eyebrow, tip of the head, and pursing of lips. They debated whether or not to give Hermione and Ron space but agreed that they were entirely too comfortable with the beautiful witch between them and they were curious as to what the couple was fighting about this time. They settled deeper into their seats on the sofa, resuming their focus on the witch’s hair and feet while pretending to read their books.
Ron would not be deterred by her passive dismissal. “You fucked my girlfriend.”
At this, the older wizards’ books and jaws dropped, and they stopped pretending they were ignoring the conversation. Those were the last words they thought would come from the young Weasley’s mouth. Wasn’t Hermione his girlfriend? Did they break up again? If so, when? And would it be for the last time? Hope arced between the emerald and silver eyes. But wait, she’s with a woman now? They stared at the witch to see if she would confirm.
Hermione only looked confused, looking up from her notes. “Maggie is your girlfriend? I didn’t know you went to Muggle cafés.”
“Who the hell is Maggie?!?” Ronald said, confusion, anger, and jealousy flashing across his features.
“Well, none of your damn business then if that’s not who you are referring to,” Hermione said calmly, returning to her book. She glanced at the wizard who was still massaging her foot. His silver eyes held her gaze as his full lips pursed in question. She glanced down at his lips then back to his lovely face, porcelain skin and high cheekbones that screamed Byronic beauty. She told him, “Muggle barista who makes the excellent cappuccinos, mon chiot.”
“Ah,” the other wizard said in recognition. His scarred countenance held a thoughtful expression as his teeth nibbled at one scar below his lip, an unconscious habit. He would roll his eyes and vehemently deny it, but the scars highlighted the beauty in his face, outlining a fine bone structure, full lips, and a strong chin. “From that Muggle café we went to last week, Siri.” His fingers dove a little deeper into her hair to massage her scalp and she closed her eyes and hummed in contentment. She had worked long hours at the shop today and deserved to be relaxed, he thought.
Sirius nodded his head when he remembered. “Ah yes, Remmy. The blond with the brown eyes.” He looked at Hermione. Her face was serene as Remus’ long fingers worked their magic through her curls. She had tawny skin with an underlying golden glow that highlighted the freckles peppered across her cheeks and nose. Her full rosy lips were curled in a small smile. She shone like a star, and he wondered if she should have been named after a constellation. “She’s a lovely bird, kitten. I didn’t know you cared for her.”
She flipped one whisky eye open, “I don’t. Kinda just happened. She’s sweet enough but I think I prefer the cappuccinos.” She sighed regretfully. “I was feeling sad, so she made a lotus design in my cappuccino yesterday. Couldn’t resist.”
The trio began to debate if they should find a new Muggle café just in case Hermione pissed off the barista. They settled back into their comfortable positions and massages resumed as they animatedly discussed the pros and cons of going to a new café or Hermione biting the bullet and exploring if the barista had any expectations from what Hermione thought had been a one-off. They completely forgot about Ronald’s presence in the room.
Ron looked at the three with incredulity. “I’m still here!” He said waving his hands.
The trio appeared surprised again. Remus and Sirius resumed their fake reading while Hermione gazed at Ron with annoyance. She rolled her eyes. “Unfortunately. What do you want?”
“I want to discuss the fact that you fucked my girlfriend,” he said.
“You really need to be more specific, Ronald,” she said, boredom in her voice. She glanced at her watch. “Not that it’s any of your business, but in the approximate 36 hours that our relationship ended, I have been with two women.” At this, all the wizards’ eyebrows raised in surprise. Hermione merely returned to her book, taking another note in her notebook. One of the straps of her black camisole fell. The wizards’ eyes trained on the delicate curve of her shoulder as she muttered to herself while she read. She absentmindedly placed the strap back on her shoulder before writing another note in her notebook.
Ron stared at her for a moment. “We break up a day and a half ago and you’ve already been with two people?”
“Why so surprised, Ronald?” She asked, peering at him over the cover of her book with a genuine curiosity that seemed to anger him further. “We broke up a day and half ago and you already found yourself in a fully committed and monogamous relationship. I suppose we each deal with break-ups differently.”
“That is not the point!”
“What is your point?” Her eyes returned to her book, bored again with the conversation.
“You…don’t…you…move on…” he sputtered.
Hermione observed him for a moment. “Double standard then, right? We break up, you get to move on with a new person, but I have to stay home and mourn the loss of what was and what could have been.” She snorted a laugh. “Fuck that and fuck you for assuming it. Please leave now.” She gestured to the door.
The older wizards glanced at her then each other in amusement and pride. She returned to her book, wriggling her black cherry painted toes in Sirius’ hand and nudging her head against Remus’ hand so the wizards could resume their respective massages. The older wizards smiled at her fondly before returning to their manual ministrations and books. The trio settled into a comfortable silence again, Remus levitating a magically refilled glass of firewhisky to Hermione, who took a deeper swig before levitating the glass to Sirius.
Ron would not be deterred. “You fucked my girlfriend.” He paused when she raised an eyebrow at him, refusing to repeat herself. Ron clarified. “Lavender.”
At this, sudden understanding flooded Hermione’s eyes. “Ah Lavender.” She was quiet as she contemplated this new development in the conversation. As she usually did, she found herself eyeing Sirius’ tattoos peeking out from the collar of his Rolling Stones t-shirt. Her eyes and fingers itched to trace each line and pattern and devour his skin like one of her books. They both intrigued and calmed her. Sirius smiled when he caught her staring and threw her a flirtatious wink of his pretty silver eyes. She blushed a shade of pink before smirking at him.
Ronald took in the exchange with growing anger as his own face grew red. “Are you going to deny it? And why the fuck are you sitting between Sirius and Lupin like that?”
At hearing the way he spoke Remus’ name, both Hermione’s and Sirius’ eyes narrowed and focused on Ron, who took a step back in what he would deny as fear given the fact that he was a rather talented Auror. What went unspoken, but understood, was that despite Ron’s accolades in the wizarding world, Hermione, Sirius, and Remus each could easily beat him in a duel, and wandlessly at that.
“Tread carefully with that tone, Ronald Bilius Weasley,” Hermione said, acid dripping from her voice as her hair crackled with energy. Several curls wrapped themselves around Remus’ wrist. Ron only stared at her wide-eyed. Sirius beamed at her.
Hermione continued, “And ‘fucked’ is a rather strong word and not entirely accurate. And I would also argue that she was not your girlfriend at the time.”
“But you were!”
“Officially, yes. Unofficially, I would say we ended when you decided to fuck her in your bed 48 hours ago knowing that I would be there to pick you up for dinner.” She shook her head. “Really Ronald, you think you would have learned after our previous break up that there are better ways to get out of a relationship than infidelity.” She sighed. “I don’t know why I was so surprised. It’s not like you know how to hide it. And you were so obvious during the Battle of Hogwarts Anniversary Ceremony last week, with all the goddamn eye fucking.” She rubbed her face. “Stupid me for taking you back though, right? Unhealthy relationship. This is why we need to stay broken up.”
She ignored him again and refocused on the notes she had written thus far. Exasperated, Ronald huffed and paced in front of her. “When did you fuck her then?”
Sighing again in annoyance, she looked up from her notes. “As I said, I did not fuck Lavender. But for the sake of argument, I will admit to oral approximately 37 hours ago.” She suddenly smiled, “You’re a prat, but you have excellent taste in women. She was absolutely delicious.”
Both Remus and Sirius smothered snorts of laughter, to the annoyance of the increasingly crimson faced red-headed man before them. “Angel, be nice,” Remus said in a low voice that forced Hermione to close her eyes and suppress a shiver. She leaned back into him without thinking, to the delight of Sirius, who flashed a smile of triumph to his long-time friend and partner.
Ronald, who missed the entire exchange due to black spots flashing in his eyes, only sputtered, “What the fuck?!? You fucked her an hour before breaking up with me?”
Opening her eyes and a little surprised to see Ron still there, she shook off the pleasant and gauzy fog that enveloped her head and limbs. “Well, that was a sort of accident. I saw you leave your flat and let myself in to get my things. Didn’t realize she was there putting away her things. Very tacky of you, Ronald, to have your future girlfriend move in without even properly breaking up with your current one.” She shook a finger at him. “So as I was pulling my stuff out the drawer and she was pushing her stuff in, we got to chatting about life, love, and poor relations with you and between the pushing and pulling we began kissing and suddenly I had her sprawled on the couch and my face is buried between the softest thighs and she’s screaming so loud for Merlin, Morgana, and Circe that I had to gag her with her own knickers.” Hermione shrugged. “That happened about three times. She was so responsive. Merlin, the sounds she makes. And she tastes like a fucking peach. I was so wet, I had to change my knickers before rushing out to see you. I do hope you take proper care of her, Ronald. She is very sweet, very willing to work on the sex issue, and seems to truly care for you. I left her those diagrams I made you, by the way, but added the movements that work for her.”
All the men were silent at this point. While Ron was a bright red, Sirius and Remus each had pink cheeks and chests and were breathing shallowly. Remus shifted slightly behind her, the hand buried in her hair moving slowly with his thumb rubbing swirls at the nape of her neck, while Sirius noticeably moved Hermione’s feet further away on his lap, his thumb swirling on her ankle. Hermione squirmed a bit in her seat from the wizards’ touches, and both wizards stilled as they caught her scent in the air. She caught Sirius’ heated stare with a raised brow.
“Umm,” Sirius said, voice husky. “Did she reciprocate, ma coquine?” His massage resumed and traveled upwards to her calf. His book lay forgotten on his knee as his other hand moved to the heel of one foot.
Hermione’s lips curved in a slow smile. “No. I wanted to catch Ron at work to break things off officially and I figured she needed the release more than I did considering she was insisting on staying with him despite the sex issue.” She shrugged. “Who am I to judge her love. I saw Maggie after breaking off with Ron and things escalated fairly quickly there. Was a bit late for work, but the twins enjoyed their free cappuccinos and biscotti.”
“You are the only one that thinks there’s a sex issue,” Ron grinded out through his teeth. He scrubbed his red face with a hand before resuming his glare.
She laughed dryly, “Keep telling yourself that, Ron.” She waved him away. “Are you done here? We’re busy.” She returned to her notes. Remus and Sirius gazed at each other heatedly before returning their attention to the witch. She never failed to surprise them.
“She just called your name out during sex,” he said in a dangerous voice. Remus and Sirius gave him a look of warning at his tone. However, Hermione’s musical laughter filled the room.
“And you still deny a sex issue?”
“‘Mione,” he said in the same low voice, studiously ignoring the murder in the older wizards’ eyes.
Hermione could feel a low growl reverberating in Remus’ chest. She automatically put a calming hand on his knee and squeezed gently. All three wizards looked down, two of them flashed each other grins.
“That does not sound like a ‘me’ problem, Ronald. That sounds like a ‘you’ problem,” she said.
“Excuse me?” He asked.
“You are not excused, Ronald,” she said, anger starting to seep through her words. “We are over. We were not good for each other and should have never tried again after the first breakup. You don’t get to come to our house and interrupt us with bullshit unless you have an appointment, which you do not.”
“‘Mione,” he pleaded.
“Don’t ‘Mione me,” she said, curls crackling with her magic again. “And Lavender calling out my name while fucking you is not my problem. If you can’t hold your witch’s attention in bed, that’s your problem. Always has been. When I’m fucking someone, they’re praying to Merlin, me, or whomever else happens to be in the room with us.”
“What?!?” Ron nearly shouted, which drowned out the low moans from the two older wizards. “You’ve had threesomes?”
“Not your business,” she said, dismissing him with a wave of her hand as she returned to her notes.
“The fuck it is. We’ve been together for four years. Before that you were barely dating anyone.” His face looked thunderous. “Did you cheat on me?”
Fully angered now, Hermione sent a silent and wandless stinging hex in warning just in front of his foot, causing the wizard to hop back with a yelp. “Don’t you ever accuse me of infidelity you spineless, cheating arse! I was faithful to you when we were together, which, by the way, was not a full four years when you discount the 17-month gap after our first breakup. You were the one fucking your female partners during Auror trainings abroad. Just because you weren’t aware about my love life at and post Hogwarts does not mean it was non-existent. I don’t owe you any explanations of that time nor any time when we were not in a committed and monogamous relationship.”
Ron paced the floor by the floo. “What the hell ‘Mione? Threesomes. Shagging women now. It’s like I don’t know you at all. What the hell possessed you to go with Lavender? Couldn’t you start your…female explorations with someone else?”
Hermione snorted another laugh. “Lavender was hardly my first. Ginny was.” Her eyes widened and she covered her mouth with a hand.
Sirius’ and Remus’ brows raised as they caught each other’s eye while Ron screeched a “What?!?”
“Oh Merlin,” she murmured. “That wasn’t supposed to come out.” She furrowed her brow in thought.
“You fucked my little sister?!?” Ron screeched again. The pitch of his tone hit the canine ears of the two older wizards which caused them to wince.
“Oh for God’s sake, Ronald,” Hermione said, annoyed that he was interrupting her train of thought. “You and I were hardly a blip in the radar.” She shook her head. “Honestly, if anyone should be territorial, it should be Freddie and Georgie.” Ron’s blue eyes bulged in shock and rage. At this she slapped her hand over her mouth and looked at Sirius in horror.
The wizard appeared concerned. He rubbed her ankles, “What’s going on Kitten?”
“I keep saying what I’m thinking even though I don’t want to say it,” she said carefully. Her eyes widened in realization. “Oh bugger all.”
“You fucked Fred and George?!?! Is this the threesome you’re talking about?” Ron shouted. “They’re twins! How does that even work?!?
“Shut up, Ronald!” She snapped and waved her wand. He was suddenly tossed onto an armchair and made to sit upright. “Take a breath for God’s sake!” She said when she noticed he was beginning to hyperventilate.
Remus and Sirius looked at each other and the witch between them. They opened their mouths to speak when she suddenly waved her wand with a murmured Expecto Patronum. To their astonishment, a large and beautiful white wolf sprang forth from her wand. Her eyes were outlined black, and she trotted around the room before rubbing her face in first Remus’ hand then Sirius’ hand, wagging her tail playfully. Speechless, the Werewolf and Animagus could only pet the wispy wolf gently.
Hermione said, “Message to George and Fred. The experiment today seems to have been a success. I’m compelled to talk without a filter. Unfortunately, Ronald now knows about our…uh past relationship. And my thing with Ginny in 8th year. And he may find out about that time with Charlie.” She covered her mouth again, closed her eyes, and shook her head.
“What the fuck?!?” Roared Ron from his forced seat on the chair.
“Quiet Ronald!” She snapped. “Anyway, be careful. Not sure how long the effects will last.” With that she sent her patronus to her business partners, the white wolf glancing at the older wizards again before departing.
Everyone was quiet. Remus cleared his throat first. “Angel?”
“Yes Remus?” She asked. Her hand hovered close to her mouth just in case.
“When did your patronus change?” He paused and said, "Please don't answer if you truly don't want to right now."
She snuck a glance behind her and saw the kindness, curiosity, and something else behind his green eyes. “First noticed at the Battle of Hogwarts.”
Both wizards breathed in sharply. Remus’ hand dropped to her waist and Sirius rubbed her ankles gently. “Kitten, why didn’t you say something?”
She looked down. “I um…didn’t want to interfere with your relationship. You seemed so happy. And…I didn’t think…what I…I didn’t think it would be reciprocated.”
The two wizards looked at each other, again a whole silent conversation occurring just through their eyes and facial expressions. Finally, Remus said, “You were wrong, Angel.”
Astonished, Hermione looked back at Remus and then stared at Sirius where she saw confirmation of Remus’ words. She opened her mouth to speak and then closed it when she didn’t know quite what to say. She opened it again and said, “Oh bloody hell.”
“What the fuck is going on right now?” Ron asked, voice shaking with barely concealed rage.
“Shut up Ronald,” the trio said.
“Are they the reason you never wanted to move back in?” Ron asked, disgust and fury running through his features. He attempted to free himself from the sticking charm she had placed on him, but gave up with frustration and glared at her.
Remus growled again. Hermione turned her head and saw his green eyes bleed gold. She murmured, “It’s okay, Moony. Mon petit loup.” The wolf in his eyes shifted to meet her own cognac eyes and stared at her with unconcealed curiosity, desire, and adoration. Emerald suddenly outlined the amber of his eyes, the man and the wolf meeting her gaze. Hermione held the hand that had settled on her hip, thumb rubbing over one of his scars.
“You’re fucking both of them, too,” Ron said in a cold voice.
Sirius sent a stinging hex to the wizard’s foot, and Ron yelped. Sirius’ voice, equally cold, “Stop talking or I will sever your tongue. Need I remind you that Hermione and Remus are both under the protection of the House of Black. Transgressions against them will be met with swiftly and decisively.” Ron set his mouth in a thin line as he scowled at the older wizard. Having survived two wizarding wars, 12 years in Azkaban, dementors, beasts, deranged relatives, a swarm of dark wizards, and a brush with the Veil that was thwarted by the quick reflexes of the fierce and brilliant witch currently cradled between himself and his partner, Sirius met the young wizard’s glare with a honed defiance and disdain from which Ronald could not help but avert his gaze. Sirius curled his arm around Hermione’s legs and placed his hand on top of Remus and Hermione’s linked hands.
The floo activated again and one of the twins stepped through. Tall, broad shoulders, and muscles maintained by pick up Quidditch games. His sapphire eyes sparkled with wicked amusement ever present in his and his twin’s eyes. She recognized George immediately from his smile. “Hello princess! Freddie went all true confessions with Angie and they’re currently shagging in his room. I think they’re going to get married soon. I’ve been avoiding Tonks because she’ll run for the hills if I start proposing after only two months of dating.” He started laughing, “She won’t get too far though since Remus has Teddy tomorrow.”
He took in the room. His red-faced brother struggling to rise from an armchair. His long-time friend and business partner cozily snuggled between two wizards she’s been crushing on for years. And said wizards with their arms wrapped protectively around her. He raised his eyebrows in interest. “True confessions here as well?”
Hermione only nodded her head, afraid to speak. George smiled kindly. “Right before I came here, Freddie said he could no longer feel the effects. Since you and I took our dosages later, it should wear off for us in about 30 minutes.”
“What the fuck, George?!? You fucked my girlfriend.”
George rolled his eyes. “Don’t be crude, you prat. Mum and Dad raised us better than that. And she was most definitely not your girlfriend when she was with Fred and me. Not that it’s any of your business. You didn’t see Freddie and I getting all possessive when she lowered herself to date you.” He looked at Hermione. “Seriously, I still think you took a hit to the head during that Final Battle.” He turned back to his brother. “Why are you here? Didn’t she break up with you again? Unfaithful arse.” He turned to Hermione. “You two are done for good, right?” He smiled broadly when she nodded.
“Did you know she was with Ginny?”
“Of course,” George settled into an armchair next to Ron, purple robes draped carefully around his crossed legs. He looked on his brother with amusement and annoyance.
“And Charlie?”
“Yes. Our rather lovely romantic relationship had mutual respect and genuine affection, which is conducive to honest communication. Of course, that carried over to our friendship. She’s our best friend. We talk. Be quiet now.” George took out a purple notebook and Muggle pen. “So princess, when did you first notice the lack of filter?”
Ever the scientist, Hermione refocused on their experiment, “Maybe five minutes before I sent the patronus. Hard to say. I’m usually always direct with people anyway.”
“True,” George answered. He and Hermione began a conversation about the initial symptoms of the new Wheeze, the potential impact of imbibing alcohol with it, and how to tinker with the onset of effects, with George furiously taking notes.
Hermione also showed him her notes on layering spellwork and her conversation with Sirius and Remus. “I really think we should bring them on board as consultants at least for that one project, Georgie. Their work on the Marauder’s Map alone more than qualifies them and I think their past work as Aurors, highly decorated Aurors I should add, would really bring a lot to the table. Not to mention the Ministry would…” She smacked her hand over her mouth again, wide eyed.
Sirius and Remus glanced at each other confused. George chuckled. “Classified, Mia, remember?” She nodded her head and did not move her hand away from her mouth. “I do agree, though. I’m positive Freddie will, as well.” He looked at the older wizards. “Would you be available Monday morning at 10am? Fred, Hermione, and I would like to propose a business proposition.” Both wizards nodded. “Excellent!” George clapped his hands and rose. “Well, I should go.”
“Take Ronald with you pretty please,” Hermione said.
Ronald was still stuck to his chair, face a dangerous shade of red. “Why does George know all about who you’ve fucked in my family, but I, your actual boyfriend, do not?”
“Didn’t I cover that already?” George asked, confusion flooding his features.
Sirius said, “He likes to ask the same question in multiple ways. Auror training. And bullheadedness.”
Hermione leaned back against Remus again and sighed, “Please understand that I am no longer your girlfriend.” She brushed the hair back from her face. “George is one of my best friends and he has never judged me. Same with Fred and Ginny. You always have something to say if I don’t fall into exactly what you want me to say or do or think or feel. So why would I tell you anything?”
Ron grew angrier. “That’s bullshit. Harry and I were always your best friends.”
“Until I fell out of line. In which case, you guys ostracized me and made me feel like shit.” Hermione said. “Listen Ron, I’m not imagining any of this. Everyone noticed. Harry actually apologized to me about it in the tent. He knew what our dynamic had been and had a lot of regrets about the way I was treated. He owned up to his part in it. I forgave him. And we’ve been closer ever since.”
At the mention of the tent, Ron narrowed his eyes. “Since you can’t hide anything right now, tell me. Did you fuck Harry while I was gone?”
“You mean when you abandoned us?” Hermione said, hair crackling again. “That is not your business. We were not together then.” She glared at her ex-boyfriend and bit her lip. George watched with interest as she was able to evade the question, taking his notebook out again to write his observations. Sirius and Remus, shifted and glanced at each other again in silent conversation. They were curious about the events of the tent, but uncomfortable with Hermione being compelled to speak.
“You and Harry have been dodging this question for years. Just answer it. Did you fuck Harry while I was gone?”
George looked up, ready to intervene, while Remus and Sirius each opened their mouths to stop the interrogation, but the men stopped when Hermione raised her hand and shook her head. George sat back and eyed his brother with anger.
Hermione breathed in and out carefully and said, “Fine! You want to know? I’ll tell you. Yes! Yes, Harry and I slept together in that tent while you were gone. After his apology. At least twice a day, every day that you were gone. We were hurt that you abandoned us. And we were terrified of what we had to face alone. We loved each other so much that we gave each other what we needed. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and never regretted one moment of that time together. Satisfied?” She appeared close to tears, glaring daggers at her ex and breathing harshly as her entire body trembled.
Ron was shocked into silence, but the vein in his forehead seemed to be pulsing. Sirius and Remus looked at each other and then Hermione before moving closer to her. Remus curled his arm around her belly and laid his head against hers, while Sirius had her full legs on his lap, knees bent while he rubbed her legs in long calming strokes from her knees to the tips of her pretty toes. He murmured, “Ca va aller, ma lionne.”
“Slag,” Ron said, shaking his head.
The older wizards immediately had their wands out in response, but George was quicker as he jabbed his brother in the nose. Blood spurted out and hit Ron’s legs and the rug. Hermione stared in shock.
“What the fuck, George?!?” Ron roared, clutching his nose while staring at his brother. “Have you gone mental? You broke my fucking nose.”
George whipped out his wand and shoved it under Ron’s chin. “Shut up, Ronald.” The room went silent. The twins were generally both very laid back, kind, and happy wizards. While Fred was quicker to anger and more impulsive, George was the more empathetic, calmer, and sweeter of the two. To bring George to violence meant that something or someone has been fundamentally violated and that George would not abide. The wizard’s sapphire eyes flashed to a midnight blue.
In a low and dangerous voice, George spoke, “You do not get to speak to her like that. She has saved the lives of every single person in this room, twice over. Not one of us would be alive had it not been for Hermione and her fucking brilliance, tenacity, and willingness to do the dirty work. Work that you ran away from like a fucking coward.” George shoved the wand even harder under Ron’s chin, uncaring of the blood dripping down from his nose onto the wood and George’s own hand. “I have watched you try to tear this woman down, year after fucking year. And she forgave you every single time. You verbally abused her, isolated her from her friends, just because you can’t handle a woman smarter and stronger than you. And when you were blessed to actually have her and love you, what did you do? You fucking cheated on her and made her feel small again. Shame on you. You call her a slag for rightfully spending her time with others while she was single. Yet you were supposedly committed to her and fucking any twit that smiled your way. Fucking misogynist.” George took his wand with his other hand and slung a right hook across Ron’s jaw. Ron immediately slumped over unconscious.
Astonished, the trio stared at George, who was shaking his head in disgust. He glanced at Hermione, “Mia, I'm sorry for getting blood on the rug.” He waved his wand, murmuring a spell to clean the mess. He looked at his hand, cut and bruised. “Fred is going to be pissed. He’s been wanting to do that since the Triwizard Tournament. You know how many times I talked him out of it?” He sat back in sudden thought. “You think the Wheeze might impact actions, too? Not just words.”
Hermione needed a moment to refocus on their product. “Umm. Well, thought, behavior, and emotions are all linked, so that is certainly a possibility.”
“Hmmm,” George said, crossing his arms and tapping a long finger to his lips. “We would have to put a strong disclaimer on this one then if we can even sell it. I can see idiots trying to use this to push people into doing things they wouldn’t ordinarily do. The Ministry may intervene.”
“Needs an Age Line,” Hermione said. “That can’t be bypassed by aging spells.” She smirked at him.
George laughed, “Fortunately for us, we know the exact counter spells for that. They should go on every aspect of the product. The box and the ampoule.”
“Might need to have customers register their names with it. For liability purposes. And we need to have very explicit consent spells that renders the product unusable if consent is not provided.” Hermione pulled her Muggle pen from behind her ear and began to take her own notes on a new page in her notebook. Remus and Sirius looked at her, thoroughly amused by the sudden shift in conversation. She wiggled her toes absentmindedly as she wrote. Sirius resumed the foot massage, while Remus began to play with her hair again.
“What is this Wheeze for?” Remus asked.
George grinned at him. “Part of our adult line. It’s for a couple’s game that focuses on honest communication.”
“Ah,” Remus said, chuckling. “You might want to get people to sign waivers before they use the product.” He tipped his chin to Ron’s prone form. “Not everyone is going to be able to handle that level of honesty.”
“Very true, Remus,” George said, taking a note. “Excellent point.” He eyed the two older wizards. “So can I get a soft yes on consultation positions with WWW? We’ve been extremely successful since we first opened, as you both know. And we have upcoming contracts that will be very lucrative. Can’t say where they are from until you’re on board.” He winked slyly. “But I’m sure you have already guessed.” He looked pointedly at Hermione.
“We need to isolate to a select few people when we test this again,” she said, blushing furiously.
She and George then proceeded to test each other to determine if the effects of the potion had worn off. Sirius and Remus observed, fascinated at their process. After determining that the potion was indeed out of their systems, conversation shifted to Hermione’s side projects, including an Aftercare Potion for werewolves that was currently in the Trial Phase. Their discussion was interrupted by a groaning Ron. They glanced at the young wizard, who looked an absolute mess. Freckles nearly masked by the redness of his face. Misshapen nose surrounded with blood. A bright red jaw that was sure to black and blue by tomorrow. He sat up and looked around the room in confusion before the memories came back. He was about to open his mouth, when George suddenly casted, Silencio.
“Quiet, Ron,” George said, serious tone back. “I’m going to take you back to the Burrow so Mum can call Andromeda and have your nose reset. We are going to have a civil conversation regarding how you will be giving Hermione much needed space until you are able to be a better friend to her. We’re calling in Harry—he’s been wanting to talk to you about this for years and he’s going to make sure you don’t do anything stupid like try to have me arrested for assault.” He suddenly shifted in close to his brother, who leaned back in his chair involuntarily. “And I’m telling you now, if you try to retaliate in any way about what happened here today, I will be informing Mum, Dad, and Harry about all the intel Freddie and I have on you. You’ll be lucky to have a job and a place to go for the holidays.” He tipped his head towards Hermione, Remus, and Sirius. “Leave them alone and let them be happy, you prat.”
He rose and gestured to Ron to rise as well. Ron glowered at Hermione and the older wizards but allowed himself to be walked to the floo. George grinned at Hermione, “Have a good weekend, gorgeous! Let’s all have brunch on Sunday at that Muggle café. Their biscotti was delicious.”
Hermione furrowed her brows and shook her head, “Um that may not be possible.” She sank deeper between Remus and Sirius, who laughed.
“May I, Kitten?” Sirius asked when he saw George’s confused look. She nodded her assent. “She had rebound sex with our barista.”
“Baristas,” Hermione said, in a low voice. At Sirius’ look of question, she said, “I may have visited again in the evening, and she brought the other blond with the green eyes. Mary? No. . .Mona was her name.” She could feel Remus’ body quake behind her with silent laughter.
Sirius looked at her with undisguised admiration and lust, “Oh ma coquine...”
George tipped his head back and laughed, “You guys pick the place then and let us know. Love you!” He threw some powder into the floo and shouted, “The Burrow!” before pushing Ron through. He saluted before repeating his actions and walking through himself, leaving the Trio in the silence of Grimmauld.