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James Potter was Sirius’ best friend. That’s all that Regulus really knew about him when he started at Hogwarts. He’d see them laughing in the corridors and scheming new pranks in the dark-lit corners of the library when they thought no one was looking.
Regulus was looking.
He liked to keep an eye on his brother’s friends, just to make sure they were good to him. He’d never admit it to Sirius of course, that he was secretly looking out for him.
So Regulus observed.
Sirius seemed happier than he’d ever seen him at home. Not that the bar was that high to start with, but it was still nice to see. Regulus decided that James Potter was good for him.
He kept observing though. What started as him looking out for Sirius turned into something else. He was no longer trying to figure out if Potter was a good person, no. He knew that he was. He knew that he always put his whole being into every task. That he loved like no one he had ever seen. Regulus wasn’t aware that it could look so easy. So easy to breathe. To exist. To smile. James Potter made it look so easy and Regulus desperately wanted to know how.
So he observed. But this time, he was doing it for himself.
Because something about James Potter was so captivating that it made him question everything he had ever known.
They didn’t really have any mutual friends or reasons for talking. It wasn’t until Sirius dragged him to a party in the gryffindor dorm that they actually spoke for more than five minutes. James was high on his recent victory, Gryffindor had won over Ravenclaw, and he was basically bouncing off the walls. Regulus guessed that he also had had something stronger to drink, because his eyes were glossier than usual.
“Baby Black!” James had shouted, throwing his arm around him as if they were long time friends. Regulus had hesitated, only for a few seconds, before he pushed him off.
“Did you see me play?” he wondered, his voice loud in an attempt to be heard over the loud music.
“It was pretty hard to miss. You scored the most points out of everyone.” he said matter of factly, trying not to sound too impressed. He secretly was. James didn’t need to know that.
James laughed and Regulus noted the smile that bloomed on his face. His insides did a sudden flip. What was he doing?
He took a step back, but James followed. Why was he still here? Where was Sirius?
“You look nice.” James said, that beautiful smile still dancing on his lips. Regulus hated that he almost flushed. He raised a brow. “Is that so?”
“Mmmh” James nodded, seeming pleased with himself. “You always do.”
Regulus wasn’t sure what to do with this new information. James Potter thought he looked nice. As in, everyday. He usually has a comeback resting on his tongue, ready to jump off, but he finds himself speechless for the first time in a long time. He simply just stares.
James stares too, stars dancing in his eyes. Of course he has stars in his eyes. Damn him.
Regulus clears his throat. “I- I’m leaving.” he declares, silently cursing himself for the whole interaction. He was stronger than this, he’s not someone who melts into a puddle at the mere sight of a pretty boy.
James doesn’t protest, he seems a bit out of it. Regulus wonders what he’s thinking about. He’s out of the room before he can find out.
In his haste, he doesn’t notice Sirius watching them from his position on the couch.
James Potter was considered by many to be at the top of the food pyramid. He got good grades, had lots of friends and was just a well-liked person. On top of all of this, he also had to be stupidly good looking. Regulus hated it. He hated how he would look for him in the corridor, in the library, anywhere he went really. Like he had a chance with someone that was so…so. So James .
Regulus stomps into the dorm and yells into his pillow. Barty and Evan share a look, amused yet knowing.
James Potter was many things, but most of all he was out of his league.
They don’t really talk after that night. Regulus makes it a mission to steer out of James’ way, his words still echoing in his mind.
“You always do.”
It takes a week and then James decides to occupy the space next to Regulus in the library. Regulus glances up from his potions book and gives him a questioning look. James smiles and shrugs, but they don’t speak. Regulus tries to block him out, burying his nose in the book. He doesn’t have time for this.
Every now and then, James would glance over to him. Regulus would not glance back.
It becomes a new routine. Regulus will be sitting, minding his own business and then James will find him, Merlin knows how, and he will sit. He will sit and he will do whatever homework he has due. Even when Regulus changes where he’s sitting, he will still always find him. Why he’d rather sit with him than bother Sirius or even Remus, Regulus doesn’t know.
A few days into the routine, they actually exchange a few words. James was struggling with his astronomy essay and his huffing and puffing was annoying the shit out of Regulus. So he helped him, mostly to shut him up. Not because he liked him or anything.
The smile that James gave him was worth it.
James probably shouldn’t have been out by the lake by himself. Especially not after their most recent prank on Snape. It had been Remus’ idea to hex his textbooks so that they’d bite him when he tried to read them. Needless to say, it had not been appreciated by the slytherin at all.
James was simply enjoying the sunlight when he heard someone yelling at him. He barely has time to turn around and catch a glimpse of an angry Snape, before he feels himself floating in the air. He lets out a startled yelp, unable to fend for himself.
Splash!
Snape has dropped him in the lake. The water is cold, causing his whole body to shiver as he tries to swim to the surface. He inhales water, tries to cough, but it doesn’t help. The water is so dark, it confuses him. He seems a shimmer of light, focusing on that. It has to be the surface. With some more effort, he’s up. He coughs, crawling onto the grass. His robes are dripping and so is his hair. Somehow he still has his glasses on.
The adrenaline is pumping in his veins and he rolls onto his back. He can feel vibrations shake the ground, like someone is running towards him.
"Potter!"
It’s Regulus’ voice.
James’ heart is racing in his chest, like there was a whole herd of centaurs galloping back and forth. He can feel Regulus' eyes on him, but he feels like he's about to drown. He gasps for air.
"James!"
Oh.
He didn't know his name could sound so nice.
James. James. James. It echoes in his mind.
He opens his eyes, locks them with Regulus.
Oh.
Oh.
It all clicks into place.
He breathes in, mimicking Regulus who is trying to guide him into taking bigger and deeper breaths, but his mind can't seem to focus on anything besides this new revelation.
"James!" It's more stern this time, but somehow it still makes his insides dance. He breathes in, out.
In, out.
Regulus' hands are on his shoulders. How did he not notice before?
It’s like he’s flooded with a sudden sense of calm . He’s not actually drowning, he’s falling. Falling hard for Regulus.
A minute or two passes, he’s not sure.
He takes a shaky breath, smiling sheepishly at the slytherin. “James, huh?”
Regulus scoffs and rolls his eyes, but James can see that there’s something else in his eyes. A sense of fondness that he wasn’t aware of before. Regulus stands, brushes dirt off his robes.
“Don’t get used to it.” he says, using a spell to dry James’ robes and hair.
He gives him a final once over before turning on his heel and walking off. Somehow James knows it’s a lie.
James. James. James.
When he tells the others about the incident, he doesn’t mention Regulus or his new finding.
Regulus wakes up the next day with a small note on his folded robes.
Thank you :)
He hides it in his pyjama pocket before anyone can see him smiling stupidly to himself.
They go back to their routine. James talks a lot. Regulus listens.
James tells another one of his horrible jokes. Regulus scoffs but smiles. It was almost funny.
Regulus goes to one of his games. He doesn’t mention it beforehand, trying to blend into the crowd. Somehow James still spots him. He has the audacity to wink. Regulus blames his red cheeks on the cold wind.
Gryffindor wins again. This time against Hufflepuff. This time, James invites him to the party. Regulus says that he’ll think about it.
When Regulus shows up at the Gryffindor common room the party is already in full swing. The music is blasting and most already look drunk. There’s a mix of different students there from different houses. He keeps to the shadows, finding a corner of the room where he can observe.
James Potter is hard to miss. He’s in the middle of the room, being congratulated by a young Gryffindor girl. Regulus doesn’t know her name.
He’s laughing, smiling. Looking content.
Regulus finds himself watching the ways his hair moves when he dances, the way in which his eyes sparkle.
He’s not sure how long it takes James to notice him, but he can tell exactly the moment that he does.
Oh.
If he thought he looked beautiful before, it’s nothing compared to how he looks now. Like he’s happy to see him. Regulus thought it was impossible for his smile to grow any bigger, but he’s proven wrong. James is smiling brighter than ever.
He’s walked over to Regulus in a few seconds, stumbling a bit but without falling. He places one hand on the wall to steady himself. Regulus takes a step backwards, feeling his back connect with the cold wall. He swallows, noticing the position they’re in. James still has his hand next to his head, almost caging him in. Regulus doesn’t know where to look.
James smiles a bit more shyly now.
“Hi Reg”
“Hi”
“I wasn’t sure you would show up.”
“Well, here I am”
James shakes his head, as if he just said something funny.
Stars are dancing in his eyes again. Regulus always liked to stargaze.
James leans in even further. Regulus feels his breath get stuck in his throat. He can hardly hear the music anymore, only the beating of his own heart.
“Can I..can I kiss you?” James asks, his cheeks red and his eyes unsure. Regulus curses him internally for being adorable.
He doesn’t think he can find words to speak, so he just nods.
James cups his face and Regulus melts.
James Potter kisses like everything else he does. With his whole being. Regulus feels his knees turn into jelly, overwhelmed by the feeling of his lips against James’. It’s sweet, but somehow desperate and Regulus wonders if James had also been waiting for this moment. If he had also imagined it, longed for it.
His hands tangle in James’ hair. It’s soft like he imagined it. Possibly even softer.
Regulus breaks away for air, drunk on emotions he didn’t know he could feel. James smiles, more confident this time. Kisses him on his forehead, as if Regulus was something precious. Something worth cherishing. Something worth keeping.
Regulus isn’t one to melt into a puddle of the mere sight of a pretty boy.
James Potter is more than a pretty boy.
Sirius finds out of course. It’s hardly the best place to kiss at a Gryffindor party if you don’t want to get caught. Both of them were aware of this, yet neither seemed to care in the moment.
He’s not that upset really, mostly just overprotective and a bit confused. He gives James the if-you-hurt-my-baby-brother-speech and that’s pretty much it. Remus wants to know how the kiss was. James throws a pillow in his face while Peter snickers and Sirius yells “That’s my brother you’re talking about!” in the background.
They go back to their routine. Almost. James will greet him with a forehead kiss, sometimes one on the cheek. There’s a lot more hand holding. Sometimes just to get comfort from the other, while reading their individual books. Sometimes they’ll sit in one of the big windows, he’ll be reading a book with his head in James’ lap. James usually plays with his hair. Sometimes he just holds him, sometimes he draws shapes on his arms as if he’s telling his own story.
Regulus finds that he likes the subtle touches. The arm around the waist, the hand on his back, the hand that gently brushes the hair out of his face. But most of all, he likes James Potter.
James Potter was Sirius’ best friend. That’s all that Regulus really knew about him when he started at Hogwarts. Now he knows a lot more. He always takes time for his friends, he helps those in need, he looks adorable when he’s just woken up. He has a smile that he specifically keeps for Regulus. He loves with his whole heart. He hides cute notes in Regulus’ robes for him to find. He sneaks food from the kitchen for their stargazing adventures at the astronomy tower (Regulus still thinks that the loveliest stars can’t be found in the sky, but in James’s eyes).
James Potter was many things to many people. For Regulus Black, he became everything.