Literary Masterpieces

by mishka_111

Summary:

Here, in this tasteful work of mine, I will be releasing my masterpieces revolving around different characters and personas I fancy. Any resemblance to real life figures, is PURELY coincidental. I am not personally responsible for any copyright issues.

Notes:

Hello my little shreklings. I hope you are all having a wonderful evening of love and bravura. Make sure to quench your thirst from this beautiful swamp of literary delight, enjoy my stories.

Chapter 1: Andrew's Love

Summary:

Andrew Tate and Rick Sanchez fall in love.

Andrew Tater Tits hated women.

Women, fuck, why did women even exist? Even in their names, the word ‘men’ existed and those sluts were nothing but wastes of oxygen. Their mamas never taught them how to cook and clean anymore; all they knew was how to play with boys hearts and wear mini skirts like a slut. God, Andrew needed a traditional woman. A woman that could cook him chicken nuggets and fries, wash his Hot Wheels bedsheets and tuck him to bed with a glass of milk —chocolate each time, then what was the difference between sucking on her tit and drinking normal milk?— and a goodnight kiss. No chapped lips, no mouth smell.

But no women good enough for Tater Tits existed.

But Ricky Sanchez did.

Oh Ricky, Andrew Tater Tits would start in his diary with to end up writing about the blue haired man for hours and hours. There was so much to admire about that sexy brain.

Ricky had lost his job years ago, as well as all his friends except Andrew. They were each others exceptions, always there for support and well… Relief. A little bit of relief. Saturdays were for the fags and both men knew. Of course they were going to dress up in cute onesies and run around with a diaper full of diarrhea. Andrew struggled with explosive diarrhea all the time yet there was Ricky to calm it down. It was a tasty midnight snack. Ricky had an eating disorder so Andrew, being the psychologist he is, would take baby steps in recovery with the shit.

But well, the things that brain came up with…. God. So romantic.

Ricky was lying down next to his man child when he heard a shart so loud his eyes watered and cells started to die faster than usual. It was so awful he could feel it and… That’s why he suddenly came up with an idea. A shart so deadly it killed off excess cells… Wouldn’t it be so helpful for treatment? Cancer treatment.

“I have an idea pissy sissy.” He whispered into Andy’s ear, looking at himself from the reflection Andrew’s bald head provided. “What if we color your head blue and make you my skinny, naughty mega head?”

Andrew blushed and started even more before Ricky physically flew away. He heard Andy’s scream before blacking out and waking up in a small bed, gasping loudly. Where was his pissy sissy now?! He really left? Oh God, how would be manage without his babe?

He looked around with curious eyes, noticing how there were two other beds that were larger compared to the one he slept in, a nice smell of porridge coming from the kitchen. He slowly stood up, diaper so heavy he could move so slowly. But that didn’t matter.

But before he could do much, he saw three shadows in front of him. Baldielocks?! These bears… Was this early hair thinning? Yet Ricky didn’t have time to think.

“Mommy, he smells like shit!” The little baldielock cried out before the mom took out a mega sized horse dildo that probably didn’t even fit the dildo definition since it was bigger than the 800 pounds looking dad. “This will punish him sweetheart. Look behind.”

Soon, the bear started running towards him and Ricky screamed as loud as he can, running as well but having the bear chase him. However, he was saved. Andrew always saved him. And there he was, Ricky running into his arms actually. Yet he didn’t have the chance to hold onto him, falling down and waking up at the hospital.

“HU?!” He gasped and looked around, there was the doctor. “What happened to me!?!?”

“You are the 1st person to survive hyposhitemia shartcoma!”

Chapter 2: Shrek and his Man, John.

Summary:

Shrek reunites with his old lover, John, a priest who is practicing exorcism.

This place… How long has it been ever since John visited this swamp?

The last time he’d ever spent a —reasonable amount of time— here was when he was with his old high school sweetheart. Shrek. He remembered his name as clear as water, heart still fluttering at the thought of his sweet plump lips and curvy body. Shrek has been the one John always sought out for during those when he was discovering his love for sexy, green men still and again… Shrek has been the one. The one he got to experience love and lust with.

Shrek was John’s God. Before meeting him, the man was a priest at the church in his town, preaching the Lord’s name and exorcising those possessed by Satan and his servants. However, not everything lasted forever and his faith had been sort of a victim, if he used the nun’s word. True, the nun was a right. John was a victim of Shrek’s overwhelming, intense love; heart stolen and breath taken. Yet after Shrek was gone, John’s soul also returned to where it originally belonged.

Memories started replaying in front of his eyes as the man teared up slowly, letting out a deep breath. His grip around the bronze cross tightened, walking towards the old house. He could feel his anxiety grow whilst heading to the entrance, soft growls and whimpers showing up. John held his breath before turning the knob and taking a peek inside… Huh? Was this…

“Shrek?!”

He shrieked, seeing how his back faced the door yet God, this was Shrek. His fat ass screamed the Lord’s glory with how delicately it’d been created, wearing a tiny little thong… Wait. A thong?

Taken aback, John immediately slipped out of the euphoric state he was in, quickly taking a look around and seeing all the BDSM tools. Supersized dildos were hung above the walls, scary looking flocks and paddles, rings, ropes, John could feel his underwear slowly fill up as his terror hit him hard like a truck. He didn’t sign up for this at all.

“Priest.” Shrek slowly turned around, a melted face causing the man to scream and pull out the cross, leaning against the door. However, the cross seemed to do absolutely nothing against Shrek, as he stood up and started dancing, soon placing his hands on his knees and twerking harder than ever as if there was no tomorrow.

John felt his eyes bleed, trying to open the door yet noticing how it was locked, screaming even louder. Shrek was twerking closer, shaking the house with each throwback, having him trapped in between the door and his ass.

“In the name of-” John was desperately trying to read a psalm and also hold the cross, but it didn’t work. “Stop!”

“Why are you running away from me, priest?! We were lovers… I missed you boo boo baby-uh, did you bring the Jesus dildo?”

John screamed louder before stopping, his eyes almost actually catching flames with how teary they have become the moment a loud shart hit him in frequencies, breaking all the physics rules and having the house blow up.

And well… That was the story of how the swamp turned into a radioactive place that was so contagious that any person evaporated if they stood too close, the smell burning everyone’s smelling sensation and killing them on the spot without even noticing. However, there was no escape either. In Shrek’s Fartdom, each person smelled the scent but never died, seizing non-stop and becoming dolls. John was one of them. His slave. His most beloved slave though Shrek wasn’t racist.

Chapter 3: Shrek and his Golden Lover Trump. (1)

Summary:

Trump, the damsel in distress... He finds himself in Shrek's strong arms.

Things were going fine or Shrek thought so.
He’d been sitting alone, dangling his thick legs off the lake for a while now, the kelps coming from beneath tickling his feet, taking off the smelly scent. The moon shone upon the water surface, forming a crescent on top, which had the buff male admiring it. He simply could not pull his eyes from it, getting lost in his thoughts.

He couldn’t or didn’t want to believe how he wasn’t accepted by Fiona anymore. He thought she really would keep her promise and love him the way he is like she repeated non-stop at the beginning of their relationship. Turns out he was wrong.

It hurt so bad, his heart kept aching, swarmed by negative emotions. He tried letting the breeze take the negativity away but it didn’t work at all, slouching. He couldn’t help but wonder if he’d lost everything.

“Help!”

The masculine voice coming from afar grabbed Shrek’s attention immediately, causing him to look around, sensing a movement deep in the woods. He slowly pulled his legs back up, looking around with squinted eyes.

“Hello?!” He yelled back, anxiety taking a bigger part in his brain.

“Help, please, they’ve gotten over the walls, coming to find me!” The voice started sobbing, worrying the beast more. A sexy one indeed because as soon as the blond guy saw him, he stopped, staring at the mouth-watering view. Holy shit, he was lucky to run away from everything to come upon this hottie.

“Walls? What walls?” Shrek questioned, the wet fabric sticking on his big quads, taking out the shape, how his muscles ran down behind his thigh. Droplets dripped from his abs, plump lips so kissable.

“…They are coming to kill me so please help.” He begged, bringing his hands together, puppy eyes on show. “Please kind sir, take me.”

Shrek looked at the stranger from head to toe, noticing how most of his clothes were torn and his skinny, twink-like body showed underneath. He looked like Shrek could bend him over and fuck till he couldn’t walk properly.

“Yeah, of course, come with me.” Shrek offered him his hand, starting to walk towards his own, the leaves crunching under. “What’s your name?”

Trump, his name was Trump. Donald Trump. The notorious manwhore, little slut, cumdumpster, baby boy, slave. He had many nicknames and he’d been sleeping with countless men over the past few years, getting used all the time. His little hole was large at this point but he thought these were all getting him ready for this moment, Shrek’s big cock.

“Trump Valentine,” he spoke with a more feminine voice this time, intertwining their fingers, shoulders brushing against each other. “But you can call me your boyfriend.”

A sheepish smile crept up to his lips, wanting to slap his ass so hard.
“Well, okay there boyfriend.” He flirted back, opening the door for his new husband, walking in. This is why he hadn’t been accepted by Fiona. Because he was deeply attracted to men. Men, men, men, men took up a whole space in his sexy brain. He loved men. The way he held men, kissed them, the way they laughed and acted all possessive, aggressive. Shit, he was getting turned on.

“I’m Shrek.” He closed the door, looking at Trump under a good light. “You can borrow my clothes.”

“Really?” Trump’s eyes sparkled with excitement. “Thank you Shushu.”

“You’re welcome,” Shrek’s voice was enough to melt Trump, his little buddy at the edge of waking up. He quickly went into Shrek’s room, taking out a big sweatshirt, putting it on. His bubble butt was way under the shirt, body covered well yet still looking petite, usable. Shrek felt himself go crazy when he saw it.

“You look very good.” He said before watching Trump drop something onto the floor. He walks in front of him, bending down, Trump’s ass right in front of him. Jesus Christ, it was so big and round and plump.

“Thank you, Shrekie.” He thanked, then sitting next to Shrek, looking at him with bedroom eyes, which went unnoticed. “How old are you?”

“I don’t know, around 30? You?”

“How old do you think I look?”

“60?”

“Oh my Jeez, Shrekie, do you think I’m that old looking? I mean I am 60 but people say I look 19.”

“Well, It’d be a bit weird to be attracted to a 19 year old. Plus, I like older men.”

Trump’s heart started racing, happiness washing over his body like a wave of ocean. Really?! Shereckt liked him back? He was so happy. He instantly kissed him and Shrek kissed back. Before much passed, Shrekie boo-boo’s hands were all over his body, grabbing, groping, absolutely devouring his body like a starving man eating his first meal. Trump’s heart thumped against his chest harder, louder than ever but it was most likely nothing compared to how the other man was going to feel inside of him.

“Nngh.. Nya.. Father?” Trump whined, seeing Shrek, who was now pretty much on top of him stop. Fuck, had he done something wrong? What was wrong? Were they going to stop now? He didn’t want to. His body, every single cell in him was seeking out for his touch, big magnum dong. However, all his worries washed away when he watched a thick, literal tree trunk-looking thing bust out of his thin bottom. It fell right across his face, causing him to yelp, the sour acute smell filling his lungs. “Oh, fuck, this is turning my stomach, Shrekie.. Don’t you wash?” He asked, making a face.

“A true man never washes.” He shrugged, the unwashed semen and dirt around his glands widening up his eyes. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing, how would this fit? “Scared? Don’t be baby, because you’re not going to be the only one taking me tonight.” He bit his thin lip, Lord Farquaad jumping out of the toilet, water dripping all over his silky, thick hair. He shook off the wetness. Trump’s eyes widened even more, he looked jacked as fuck, muscles ripping out the royal clothing. There was.. Scat all over his big dumpstruck, watering Trump’s mouth. He felt like a prey about to get hunted, heart racing a thousand miles. “See, you cum trumpster, I will ruin you just like how you ruined my kingdom.”

Trump felt betrayed but also aroused, liking how they were forcing stuff on him. He didn’t have any ideas how he ended up in this situation but it worked to some extent, he liked what they were doing, how he was about to get absolutely destroyed.

“I don’t want it- Shrekie-uh, let me go-uh!” He screamed like a little bitch before Lord Farquaad slapped his ass so hard he felt it go numb, heat up to a point he could crack an egg and cook it. “Shut the fuck up.” He was so dominant it got Trump wet immediately, tears picking at the corners of his eyes. “It’s Daddy Farquaad anymore, kitten, and you are my slave.”

Shrek, seemingly jealous, grabbed Trump’s feet and held them together as he used it like a hole, moaning. Trump, however, he had no idea what was going on, just going along with it. Soon, Daddy Farquaad took off kitty ears, putting it on. The horrible smell of scat was over the atmosphere anymore, causing him to throw up right inside his mouth. Trump screamed louder, swallowing everything like a good little boy. He hadn’t been behaving so well, crying like a baby and refusing what they wanted, he needed some punishment to get back in the line.

At the same time, Shrek was admiring his feet, at the edges of pleasure. He ignored Fartquaad, mentally scolding himself for even letting him come in the first place. What if Trump liked him more? He didn’t want that, he didn’t want there beautiful love to fall apart, he couldn’t handle it. Even the thought of their, Fartquad and Trumpster, twisted his stomach, heart aching in tremendous pain. What if they ran away without him? His heart, it hurt, twisting and turning in his chest to a point where he found it hard to breathe. He needed to find a way to keep his man with him.

Chapter 4: Shrek and Duolingo.

Summary:

Shrek is accepted by his crush, Duolingo.

Duo-lin-go.

The tongue took three trips to the roof of the mouth whenever Shrek said her name, his heart jumping at each syllable. How could a name mean so much? Only a few letters and it got the green man feeling so full of lust he could bust at any second.

Her green feathers and orange beak; those eyes would open largely and only look at Shrek, which got his whole body electrified. Even a ‘hello’ coming from her had him growing red, finding it hard to pull his eyes off of her.

Was the Lin part due to her Asian side? From what he knew, she was actually from nowhere and that was just so sexy. This thickquette bird, she didn’t belong anywhere but Shrek’s arms. He knew she was a sweet bird —which also probably tasted sweet two in both ways— and he’d eventually only be Shrek’s. Her wings were delicate and she needed to be handled all gently too but God, Shrek was a rough man.

Like what Dostoyevski said, “I’m a sick man.” Shrek found himself immensely drawn to that line. Yeah, he was sick. Sick due to love. This love he felt for the other was so intense the green man couldn’t stop thinking of anything but his sweet little fat bird. Those cheeks, they clapped.

That day, Shrek was at mangal, cooking some of his food with skewers through them. They were looking so tasty he could die, mouthwatering at the sight of little birds cooking on the grill. “I’m so glad we got these! It’s so tasty.”

“Oh absolutely!” Fiona rubbed over her tummy, which was hanging low at 700 pounds. It had taken Shrek a long time to convince her to sit down so they could eat the birds and wings, she was trying to diet earlier but that was pretty rude and Shrek wasn’t a communist. He believed everyone should have things they can fully own. For him it was Duolingo.

“Did you know that Duolingo is coming too? It has a reason why her name has duo, it’s because she was destined to be filled with one more!” Fiona let out a loud cackle, soon burping so loud Shrek gave an opposite reaction of sharting himself when he could easily vomit. He was flustered though, heart racing. “You gonna fill her up?”

“Ugh, Fi-Fi, what the fuck are you saying you fat big bitch? Maybe I shouldn’t be feeding you right now.” Barry B. Benson flew around before sighing, flying around her head to piss her off as she swayed her hands.

“Stop you dumb beega.” She groaned before tearing up.

“HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A SLUR?”

“Maybe you stop being a stupid fat phobic bitch, eh?” Her Canadian accent showed up.

However Shrek was… Shrecket. How would he explain this? Explain he was into… Eating birds. I mean… He would eat Duolingo too. Just, not in a context like this.

What if Dulolingo saw this? “Guys shut up.” Shrek sighed and sat down, his diaper underneath creating a soft material to sit on since the green man’s butt needed extra soft cushions which were pretty costly in order not to flare up with pimples and such. His shit covered a nice layer around it.

“What if she sees me eating bird?! And you guys called her over too!” He started sucking his thumb, a bug crawling underneath from one of his fat rolls in order to survive, leaving a trail of dark yellow dots of piss. “You guys really try so hard to lower all my chances of dating.” He sobbed deeply, starting to cry as loud as possible as he sharted at the same time, cries drowning the noise out.

“Hey! Don’t cry. It is what it is, you are ugly as hell, it wasn’t like she would ever look at you anyways.”

“Huh? Are you saying that to my Shreko?”

A familiar voice was heard, a voice that felt like home and embraced the young man child with love… Motherly love. Shrek never had a mother. Duolingo, in the other hand, fit the description. Green like his mama, tasty too probably. Well, didn’t her breast milk taste good enough for him to suck on it till they sagged and left her insecure forever? But Duolingo could fill that void.

Shrek looked at the bird with hearts in his eyes, stomach twisted with so much love and excitement. Whenever she got all dominant and started protecting him, he wanted to scream and bust his green babies everywhere. They were like broccoli heads.

“Duo…” He stuttered softly, seeing her eyes burn in anger.

“I’ll always look at him, I always have. Especially that ass…” Duolingo said these knowing they were eating birds… It had to be true love. Maybe she wouldn’t do the same thing but Shrekie has never been accepted this way before, his heart pounded loud in his chest.

“Oh Duolingo… Your name should have been Duo-Linda. Porque, eres muy linda.”

Duolinga-ling couldn’t help but chirp happily before grabbing Shrek and hugging him tightly till he emptied the rest of his bowels.

Chapter 5: The Love Potion

Summary:

Stoick had been looking for his wife, Valka, for how long now? No one has ever been able to heal the wound that her abduction had left. Except Cosmo.

Notes:

Are you all doing marvelous, my Shreklings? Make sure to eat and stay hydrated. Stay classy.

Each day, Stoick’s longing for his long-lost wife increased.

His eyes searched for the woman everywhere despite having looked at every nook and cranny throughout the years. He’d become so obsessed over it that the man had a whole map carved into his head, burning with the desire to go out for the millionth time and find his wife. How was she? Did she have enough to eat? Water to quench her thirst? Oh how much he missed tracing the tip of his finger on her soft braids, feeling the texture against his skin.

His love stayed as fresh as a wound that refused to heal, throbbing with pain, bleeding immensely no matter how it’d been treated. The only way for his wound to close up was finding his beloved wife, the mother to his son. Maybe not the second one.

It’s been a year or so ever since he caught Hiccup trying to have sex with Toothless inside a cave. Stoick didn’t have enough words to explain the amount of pain that had washed over him at the moment, wanting to carve his eyes out and actually hitting himself in the head with a small piece of tree log to not witness anymore.

The man had been terrorized with the nightmares of the moment he saw them. How Hiccup was trying to reassure the dragon whilst caressing its scales, his dick out in his calloused hand. At that moment, it all made sense why Hiccup had eaten five times the amount of what he usually ate, snacking on steak, honey and milk throughout the day. This motherfucker was getting prepared to fuck a dragon. He knew Donkey hadn’t left a good impression on him.

But that wasn’t the point. He knew he eventually had to explain it to his wife once he found her but she wasn’t around and he still had time to think on how to tell her. He’d kicked him out almost immediately anyways, not even sure how to look at his face. Hiccup had tried defending himself but he kept farting, which absolutely shattered Stoick’s heart.

Hiccup always farted when he was lying.

God… He had to stop thinking of this. Of how he was embarrassed and humiliated in front of everyone. It was awful realizing how he’d raised a dragon-fucker. Terrible. It had taken a long time to rebuild his reputation.

Now that he didn’t have to run after a dipshit who couldn’t even clean his ass, he had only one person to focus on… His woman. His lady. His Valka.

His chance of finding her had been solely luck. He’d come across a little magical cabinet deep in the forest when he was busy cutting trees, knowing that was the path he had to follow with the immense hope filling him up. His steps were fast, thrilled, breath shaking. The forest was singing, telling him to go there.

Once he swung the door open, he was greeted by a… Fairy. He didn’t know they were common, especially in places that dragons frequently visited them.

But oh… This fairy. Beautiful enough to erase Valka off his mind instantly, bewitching the man. His heart pounded onto his chest like a drum, angels singing into his ear. Who was even Valka? He wanted him. This sexy little fairy, dancing like a housewife in his kitchen whilst mixing up things to make a potion.

A heart, dragon testicles, fairy penis and… Fairy penis? Who did that belong to? This sexy babe?

“Oh my God, sir, you can’t disturb this sacred ritual by bursting in!”

True… Stoick has bursted inside the house but that wasn’t the only place he wanted to burst in. How could someone be so perfect? Even his voice. How tall was he? A meter probably. Well, he’s always been into petite babes that he could throw around like a ragdoll and fuck hard.

God, wait, Stoick was a faggot? There was too much to unpack here. Hadn’t he been obsessing over his wife for Odin knows how long? He’d been married to a woman. A woman. Not a man. He couldn’t possibly… Love a man. Not even feel sexual attraction. What was he thinking? All these sinful thoughts, shit, this green man was making him sin like Satan. But all Satan needed was a bit of love to be normal again. Right?

Stoick had spent all his life hating the Skittles team. He was one of them? No. It had to be because he was just horny. But why? Fuck. This was another day’s topic.

“What are you doing here? Why are you naked?”

The green haired man sighed softly, stirring the pot and getting on top of it to free his bowels of explosive diarrhea every now and then. The fairy’s gaze wandered on him before stopping on the giant, gianaourmous, gianamortis, humoungous tent. So big that he had to be careful in order not to get crushed underneath.

“I’m making a love potion.”

Stoick gulped thickly, running his tongue over his lips sloppily as he started drooling over the scene. His little bubble but couldn’t be sexier, shaking as he flew around, shaking in lust already. This fairy… He was in heat?! His tiny dick dripped in pink, glittery pre-cum. The fairy heat. Oh shit. It was only pink when they were in heat, the pheromones spinning Stoick’s head and luring him. But… But this couldn’t be good.

The fairy heat was more dangerous than the dragon heat, turning the little folk into a creature that could breed the whole world in a matter of seconds, with a push so hard that it teared apart people, having only the strong ones survive natural selection.

“You need this?” The fairy pointed at the big pot, which was gurgling and spilling every now and then.

“I don’t need a love potion to fall in love with you. Was it my heart you put inside the potion? Because you stole it.” Stoick was pulling his cards right, playing the game well that he thought he’d forgotten all these years. Valka had never been able to excite him this much, taking his breath away and sweeping him off his feet.

“This is dangerous, big boy.” The fairy smirked, sitting on the couch and lying down happily. “Such an intruder… Thankfully, I’m not stuck under the sink! Otherwise my tiny ass would have been destroyed. Roles reversed, baby.”

Lust washed over the man, his body roaring, every single cell in his body screaming to get a piece of his ass. He’d never been so crazy over someone before, even when Valka had showed him her tits when they were teenagers.

“Roles reversed? You can’t fuck me, look at you.”

“You don’t even know my name. Don’t underestimate what I can do.”

Oh this assertiveness… So sexy. Stoick was just becoming aware of the huge dragon dicks hung on the walls, random newspapers following all. Not any newspaper though. News of the dragons the fairy has impregnated and also killed whilst breeding.

“What’s your name?” Stoick asked finally, letting out a deep sigh. “You’re so hot I might burst right now.”

“My name’s Cosmo.”

Oh, Cosmo. Cumso. His Cosmo. Even his name was enough to run shivers down his spine, melting with tremendous love that left him shaking in his place. Would he get impregnated by him too? Carry his fairy babies and give Hiccup a few more siblings. After all, he didn’t have Valka. She had always loved kids too, right? And occasionally complained about Hiccup being the type of kid who ate his mucus and didn’t wipe his ass. Wouldn’t it be good to give her actually good, docile children? She deserved it. See… He was doing all of this for her. Because he didn’t want her precious cute kitty to rip.

“Cosmo, breed me.”

Cosmo raised his eyebrows, a cheeky grin creeping up to his lips. “OWO. You’re such a fucky wucky slut for zaddy waddy aren’t you OWO?”

Stoick paused for a second, trying to understand what Cosmo was saying. Was this the fairy language?

“Come to zaddy waddy’s lap little kitten, let me take care of you.”

Stoick… He moved as if he was bewitched. Just when he thought he couldn’t get sexier, he always did. He soon came close enough, but didn’t have enough place to sit on anywhere. Stoick was almost two meters when this man was probably less than a meter. But that dick. Shit. He hadn’t realized how much it grew in only a few seconds, making up half his height.

“They call me fappy because I fap my partner so good.” Cosmo put his hands around Stoick’s neck. “I’m gonna milk you like a cow and make chocolate milk because that shit is my favorite.”

Stoick blushed like a little girl, watching the fairy slowly strip him out of his clothes. Fuck… This tension between them. He wanted to caress those pretty wings and ass, making sure to give it a careful spank on his ass since he was tiny enough to fly around anywhere. “Zaddy… You’re making it so hard. Choke me.”

Cosmo wrapped his hands around his neck before giving it all he had, which wasn’t enough for Stoick but fun nevertheless. “Okay, maybe we can move onto fucking.”

“Who are you ordering me around?” A degrader? Oh wow, this was sexy. “You smell like shit. I love that.”

“Oh my… It’s been two months ever since I’ve taken a shower.”

“Fuuuck… Keep dirty talking, waddy wuddy.”

“And I barely brush my teeth..” Cosmo could see, he didn’t have to say it. There was a different ecosystem in his mouth that he would absolutely love to go on an adventure in. “I don’t shave either.”

Cosmo looked down to see a forest, but he was an adventurer, he would love to explore this jungle. He was falling in love. This man was disgusting, Cosmo wished to be covered in the same filth, so he took out his dick and flipped Stoick on his belly before fully getting rid of his pants. The smell exploded like a fart bomb, burning Cosmo’s smelling sensations. It made sense why Valka hadn’t returned. She’d ran away from the smell instead. Cosmo used to wonder what smellt so bad all these years and he could tell, it was the same smell as Stoick’s ass.

He gave it a long lick, pimples popping inside his mouth whenever he nibbled on his ass and keeping his mouth moist. Fresh water. At the same time, he was jerking off the man who was squirming and whimpering like a bitch in heat underneath. Once Cosmo was done rimming, he pulled away and slapped on his ass to play the ancient song of the Fae folk. Who was ready for a gangbang?

Soon, before Stoick could even tell, ten more fairies filled the room. They were all colored with cute colors, purple, pink, blue, yellow… But again. His heart belonged to only one and it was Cosmo.

“I want you zaddy waddy, not anyone else…” Stoick mumbled but it was too late, suddenly being stretched out by a fifteen centimeters dick and jolting up with each thrust. In the meantime, he was busy milking the other fairies, hearing their high pitched moans and falling into the sin of lust harder each second. Oh how much he loved his wife. He was sacrificing his ass for her.

“Breed, fill me full of your fairy babies, zaddy waddy, ahhhh.” Stoick whined, puckering his lips and looking at him with puppy eyes. He was so fast that Stoick almost flew up, the couch keeping him in place. He tried to push the other fairies away but some of them were already squirting over him, leaving him defenseless. He was a cum dumpster. Their personal little toy. Stoick didn’t care about anyone else but receiving their fairy sperms and being blessed with hundreds of babies.

All of a sudden. Stoick’s life earned a meaning, his wound healed. Oh, God. He was meant to be a mother all along. He was meant to take care of little naked babies running around and change their diapers, breastfeed them, make sure they grew up to be good functional adults who paid their taxes. He didn’t want anything but babies, eyes tearing up in ecstasy. He’d never been happy like this before, not aware of how much time had passed and the galloons of cum he was filled with.

Cosmo.. He hadn’t left like Valka. “I love you, Stoick. You were the only willing one to carry my children.” The tip of his finger traced along his chest, planting wet kisses across his chest. “You smell so good, you’re the mother to my children.”

“I’m pregnant…” Stoick wiped his tears away with the most delightful smile ever, letting out a sigh in relief. “Cosmo… You helped me find the meaning of life. I love you too.”

***

Nine months… How was it possible for him to be so happy for such a long time? Delivering his children had been another happy experience. The memories of Cosmo being in the delivery room with him, holding his hand whilst he popped out each fairy was… The most emotional moment ever. Filled with love and joy, he now had so many little fairy babies to adore each second of his life. He’d birthed thirty babies in total. They had talked about the names earlier. Cosmo wanted to name them cute names, he’d whisper each one into his ear while they were resting in bed. Stoick had become the meaning of his life too.

Cosmo took well care of him. Unlike Valka. Who had returned in the fifth month of his pregnancy but had a breakdown over everything that has happened. Stoick didn’t want an old bitch who had left him so many years ago, especially when he was pregnant. Cosmo had sent her away by cumming right to her eyes, they weren’t going to see her again and she wasn’t going to see them either. She wasn’t really going to see anything, actually.

“It’s so precious… Our babies. I love them.”

“And I love you.”

Chapter 6: Glittery Balls

Summary:

Johnny Bravo gets to be with his stripper crush, Mickey Mouse.

Notes:

Hi Shreklings. I don't know if you have noticed but I got some of these commenst saying my work has been written by ChatGPT and I'm not sure whether to take that as a compliment or not. Honestly, I'm a bit offended because these were written long before ChatGPT even existed. All of my work belongs to me. I write them myself. It's up to you whether you want to believe or not but I'm being honest.

Now, enjoy this marvelous story.

Every girl had her eyes on Johnny, meanwhile his eyes were on Mickey.

Mickey Mouse. Oh how lovely his name sounded coming from the young man’s mouth, leaving a sweet taste on his tongue as it rolled off smoothly. It lingered in his mind day and night, eyes always searching for the sexy little tease of a mouse. He’d first seen him in a Gay strip club, and Mickey hadn’t left his head ever since. It was as if the mouse was a drug Johnny had been hooked on, craving it constantly and dying to get more.

Mickey’s stage name was Glittery Balls. Hence the name, Mickey’s balls were covered in pink, yellow, blue dust the moment he stepped onto the stage, both of them revealed through the hole on his shorts, which stood right on his crotch. Not only his balls but also his nipples, dipped in the same dust, spread on his piercings.

He’d hold the pole and spin, feet raising off the floor and floating —last time, Johnny had seen that happen with his friend, but he had a rope instead— He’d circle beautifully, his ears fluttering like the wings of a fartfly, hot air of the club washing over his balls, giving him goosebumps. Mickey never forgot to shoot those little, teasy glances that called every man to his bed, so they could take turns with his big bubble but. He knew the effect he had on everyone, a leash around the neck of each customer at the club. They’d constantly cheer for him to come, and whenever he did, men would be already in front of the stage with their dicks in their hands.

Johnny often wondered if those disgusting pieces of shits scared his little Mickey Mouse. They’d always look at him as if they could devour him at any second, awakening the alpha male inside Johnny, his demons… He was a dangerous man. He never let his demons out because he had tamed them but if anyone dared to mess with him, or anyone he cared about, he wouldn’t be as compassionate.

Johnny could only admire his lover from afar. He didn’t have the heart to get too close, finding it hard to look at him for too long as his beauty shot through his heart like the gun of Cupid. They never talked either, no, not a single word. However, he knew Mickey had noticed him. He’d look at his way sometimes, smirk, wink.. He didn’t do that to anyone else but Johnny and once again, he realized he was special.

Johnny, however, didn’t need to talk to him to be close to him. If you’re wondering how he knows Mickey’s real name, well, Johnny had been to his house before! He’d followed Mickey home after working hours, at night. His intentions were innocent, wanting to make sure that no one hurt or kidnapped him. After all, darkness was something dangerous, especially for a tiny little mouse like him, but perfect for predators. However, it quickly changed.

When he noticed Mickey search his bag but struggle to find the keys, then take the spare ones out of the pot, that’s when he realized all of this was a message. It was a message for Johnny, obviously, otherwise why would he show him where the location of his keys were?

The next day, Johnny paid him a visit.

His hair was neat, a dark fabric hugging his big muscular chest, a tie going down his neck, a fedora on his head. He had a bouquet of red roses in one hand, and on the other, some oats because he read on Yahoo how mouses liked oats. Plus, it was healthy and would help him keep that sexy, sexilicious, sexilitariositariosexisto body of his.

He knocked on the door, but no one answered. He did it again. And when it seemed like no one would open, he took the spare keys out from the pot and plucked it in. He turned the key, a little click and the door opened. It was a fairly normal house, except for the hardcore porn drawn on the walls and cum covered carpets, as well as plants.

He walked through the hall before spotting a door. The voices in Johnny’s head told him this was where his lil’ Mickey Moo slept in, entering in with a racing heart. He couldn’t believe they were able to telepathically communicate till this exact moment, a satisfied look on his face. However, Mickey was nowhere, except for an open computer. He hesitated at first, but in case Mickey was hiding under the bed to surprise him, he sat on the chair and turned to the computer.

“Is cum helpful for plant growth?”
“How to sacrifice dick for Satan?”
“How to stay away from creeps at the strip club”
“Buy security systems”

Johnny frowned at the last two searches, huffing. Of course those fuckers were bothering his little baby. He then clicked out of Dongle, going to the desktop and looking at the files. Most were normal, just a few sacrifices and vomit porn, but something in particular grabbed Johnny’s attention… His little Mickey’s sex tape.

He clicked on it with shaky hands, eyes widening at the heavenly sight in front of him. In all the videos, Mickey was playing with his dick and getting gang banged by ten other alpha wolves. Triggered by the content, Johnny howled and suddenly started to turn into a werewolf.

Thick fur grew out of his body, his whole body getting larger, a fifteen-pack on his abdomen, sharp and prominent enough for him to count and cut an apple with. His tail was big, long and thick, coming already with a shaved ending in case he wanted to fuck someone with that. And of course.. His eyes. They were glowing in the dark.

“What are you doing in my house!?” A squeaky voice reached Johnny, he turned around and breathed heavily as his dick slowly rose up. “Oh my god, Daddy, you look so sexy!”

Johnny chuckled in a deep voice, looking down at his irresistible body and radioactive dick. It was perfect to arrange someone’s guts with. “I’m here for you, baby. I know you asked me to come. My Mickey Mouse.”

Mickey couldn’t handle this sexiness anymore, snapping his fingers and making a little magic trick that had his shorts vanish. He turned around and started to twerk, his ass moving with each shake, jiggling well. Johnny smacked them hard, hearing a little “Ah!” From the other, sitting at the edge of the bed and watching.

“I love your ass. It belongs to me.” He growled deeply, wanting to see more and more, watching Mickey twerk towards him. “You’ll keep craving for my wolf cock.”

Mickey moaned out of nowhere, taking out a dildo which was in the shape of a foot. “Daddy Wolfie, I want this in me!!” He begged, lying down and watching Johnny get on top of him.

“Say my name, baby, it’s Johnny.” He mumbled before wandering his hands all over his body, he could get the pheromones off Mickey, noticing how he was in heat and how he should breed this little meat. Johnny wanted to be nice at first but he didn’t wait for much, kissing his lover deeply and passionately, putting the tip right at the entrance, raising his legs to place them on his shoulders. He didn’t warn before slamming it in, hearing a shrilled scream as he kept going, fucking his tight little ass. Mickey was moaning like a bitch, rocking his hips and begging for more. At the same time, Mickey’s videos were still playing, adding up to the romantic atmosphere.

“I LOVE YOU!” Johnny groaned, coming in approximately seven seconds. Well, that was a record! Especially since he lasted at most two seconds. However, since he’d been distracted with kissing —and he wasn’t fucking his Pinkie Pie plushie, she couldn’t be compared to anyone— obviously it took longer.

“I LOVE YOU TOO!” Mickey rather screamed in pain before a bulge in his stomach appeared, suddenly coming to the realization how he’d been bred by a sexy mega gianourmous wolf of a man. He smiled to himself while rubbing his belly, a satisfied look on his face. Right. Mickey wasn’t supposed to be a slut at the strip club but a stay-at-home mom… How did he not notice this before? But now that he did… He had a new life waiting for him, with Johnny.

Chapter 7: Pain in my Heart

Summary:

Hello Shreklings, sorry for not posting. I got yeast infection and pregnant by swimming in a frog-infested pond.

This is a poem that I wrote. Took so much strength. I cried while writing it. Based off of real life experiences.

I had a lot inside of me,
Begging to be let out,
A twisted sense in my stomach,
Bringing me to tears.

But soon,
My body felt handled by the hands of God,
And relief washed over me,
The music of angels,
The fire inside of me pushed through,
My asshole tightened,
And opened the door to delight and happiness.

I looked at the stars,
We made eye contact as I sharted,
And they winked at me as a single tear ran down my eye.

I was accepted,
Loved,
Seen.

Chapter 8: The Beginning of the End (Chapter 1)

In this world made for neurotypicals… Neurodivergent people like Midoriya Izuku was pushed aside, forgotten, ignored. No one care about him. No one ever made him feel like he mattered in the slightest. People laughed at him in the back of his head, laughing at his happy flappy hands and his sudden meltdowns… He was a four year old, at least, in their head.

Except for Bakugou. Appearing out of the darkness like his light, even if Izuku could not guess a single thought behind those sharp eyes, he felt welcomed nevertheless. And sometimes, it would be the exact opposite. Reading those eyes would be easy task, as if he saw someone else behind the red orbs. When Bakugou didn’t act like Bakugou, Izuku could only remember telling him: “K-Kacchan! T-T-This isn’t you… I’m here for you!”

After getting vaccinated at four years old… That’s when he started to show signs of autism, sucking his thumb, flapping his hands, having meltdown over small routine changes, making weird noises, showing special interest in heroes… All his life, he was bullied for these special little quirks he showed, and kept going with his mother’s words: “You’re not quirkiness! Autism is your special power!”

Yet for how long could his mother’s words push him? After ingesting All Might’s hair… And gaining an actual quirk, when he was supposed to doubt himself less, his worries increased. He could not go a single moment without shitting himself in loud explosions, covering his ears in sensory agony, rocking back and forth on the floor. Because of this, he hadn’t been able to prevent Bakugou from getting kidnapped… And he couldn’t do anything. Even if Aizawa had told him it wasn’t his fault because this world wasn’t made for neurodivergent heroes and the villains were ableist, that he would have definitely saved him if only he had his gamer kitten ear muffs… But in his tone of voice, Izuku could tell Aizawa didn’t fully mean it…

When Bakugou returned, however, he was not the same anymore. Not the Kacchan Deku knew, at least. Everyone knew of his story. How he adapted a completely new quirk, killed every villain and escaped the dungeon they put him in for gay purposes… Deku didn’t know he was gay. He was gay too. It was hard being an autistic, Asian gay male in this oppressive world.

Deku often visited Bakugou in his dorm to help him, to share his Dino nuggets (they were the perfect autistic meal for him! The texture was very soothing and he could eat them all day long.) And even if Bakugou seemed disconnected with everything, he would still force it in his mouth.

“Say ahh!”

Bakugou froze for a second, a memory replaying in his head. People screaming, no, no, people were screaming… Screaming loud… LOUD

“Kacchan?! Why are you ignoring me?” Deku felt his little heart break into a million pieces. He knew it. He knew Kacchan hated him and wished he died. He was a stupid useless person and his autism just made him the dumbest person ever, why would Kacchan want to do anything with him?! He was stupid, he ate Dino nuggies all day, was startled by his own fart, rocked back and forth in front of his favorite show caillou, and cried all night because he could never be like the heroes he aspired to be. But hey… It was okay. Izuku was different and if anyone had a problem with that then!.. Then… They could screw off! He was beautiful and amazing just the way he was! There was beauty in autism.. In how excitedly he spoke over his special interest and how well he could focus and how he could use his brain power to defeat villains!..

“Huh?! I’m not ignoring you, Izuku-chan!” Bamboozled, Izuku raised his eyebrows. “I’m sorry! I was just a little distracted, hehe!”

It was.. Weird. Unusual. Bakugou never spoke this way but Izuku didn’t want to assume anything in case it was ableist. When he was going to get his diagnosis for autism (that he had been preparing for his whole life) he took Bakugou with him, and he got diagnosed with DID. And when people  gathered around to ask Bakugou if he was alright or not, Deku couldn’t have felt lonelier. On such a hard day of his life, people were caring more about Bakugou.

“Kacchan?”

“Hihi, Kacchan?! It’s Uraraka, you silly!” Kacchan (Apparently Uraraka) giggled, tucking her hair behind her ear very lady-like, smiling sweetly. “We switched due to you trying to feed us your Dino nugget and we would like to put a boundary and ask you to-“ Uraraka ran her hands through her hair, shrieking in agony before she looked up with a cold look, “Shut the fuck up and fucking leave us alone. You autistic bitch.” This voice… Bakugou?

Deku felt his eyes burn. God. Why was Bakugou so mean?! He knew he had his struggles but fuck sometimes he hoped he could stay as Uraraka forever and feed him love… He didn’t know what their problem was?! He was such a cute bean, like everyone else said, well, his mom mostly. How could he be so mean to him?! Deku started to cry really hard, rushing around with t-rex arms, flapping them around as his nose started to run. He roared in agony, and shoved a plastic bottle up his ass in annoyance, breathing deeply. This was what he got for being mean to Deku Midoriya Izuku!

Chapter 9: John Wick's Hero

Summary:

John Wick finds the meaning of his life

It’s been so long… So long ever since John Wick had anything else on his hands other than blood. Its metallic, heavy scent carried him around and its invisible hands tried pulling him back to his horrible past filled with horrible memories. But no. He wasn’t taking it. He had learnt how to let go of those terrifying, impending doom-inducing thoughts by going to a yoga class with hot moms trying to heal their inner children. And surprisingly, it had worked and turned him into a well-functioning individual enough to get another pet. Maybe not a puppy this time. He feared that as soon as his eyes met with the puppy’s eyes, then he would be pulled back into that dark hole he desperately tried to escape from.

Life moved on as he took his cold, calculated steps towards his destination… Among all the bright colored clothes people wore, his black suit stood out. However, his forehead acted as a distraction towards those who would recognize him if they looked only a single more second, blinding them immediately. There, he was almost there…. To… Sunny’s Pet Shop!

As soon as he made a turn across the road, he nonchalantly took out his gun to shoot the father and son walking in front of him, they were too close, well-deserved.

Soon, he entered the pet shop, the little bell above his head ringing as he took his first steps inside. This smell… Setting… Breathe in… Breathe out… Think of cute kittens and rainbows and unicorns.

“Hi sir, how may I help you?”

John Wick averted his gaze towards the employee, having to look down to see her properly. “Pet. I need a pet.”

“What type of pet?”

“Anything but a dog.”

The employee nodded before walking a little further to start guiding him around. “Here we have some exotic pets like lizards, geckos, I don’t know the difference, we’ve got some fish and you can actually eat them too, kill two birds with one stone.”

“I don’t eat fish, I'm a pescetarian.”

“Oh okay, let’s move to this sectio-”

“Wait.”

And there he was… Standing there. Like a zebra. John had always been a simple man. He liked black, and he was white. And this fish was… Strangely, uncomfortably handsome. What was his name? “That’s Gill, sir. I don’t recommend him.”

Gill?.. Woah.. Their eyes met and John was washed away by the thousands of new emotions he felt, a breeze gliding in from the window as his hair fluttered in the air, relief settling upon his heart. For the first time in years, he felt like a little kid once again. He wanted this one. Hopefully, he didn’t cost more than 10 dollars.

“I want this one. Give me that. We have a mission to complete.. Gill..”

“Sir… Um.. Okay. Sir, are you alright?”

“Give. Me. The. Fish.”

And in no longer than ten minutes, John was in the line with the little kids, waiting to pay for Gill and continue his healing journey. Maybe he would be able to hit it off with a mom there in the yoga class too considering he was caring for a fish too, just like a father.

He raised the fish up to place a deep, hot, steamy kiss on the plastic it was inside, causing Gill to swim around erratically. “Gill. Don’t worry.”

And soon.. It was his turn. John had been waiting for this moment for so long and God was it worth waiting for. He placed his hand inside his pocket to pay but before he could do anything, a loud voice filled up the pet shop. He turned around… And.. What the fuck? What the fuck was this failure of a man?

“Stop that you fucking manthing! Stop buying animals! Stop animal abuse!”

John Wick raised his eyebrows, “Who the hell are you?”

“The name’s Georgetté Washingtonette.” Arms akimbo, Georgetté beckoned at Gill, which John soon pulled to himself protectively. “And I’m here to stop animal abuse. You think you can buy that poor fish? You’re kidnapping that creature, y’know that right?! Fish have emotions too and you are disregarding them you stupid thing. You’re using your white straight male privileges to get away.”

John stood stoic as his eyes wandered on Georgetté. Her… His?.. He didn’t know what kind this person was, nor what specimen. Georgetté’s vans stood on the ground strongly, slightly ripped fishnets covering his enormous legs as they followed up to a black pleated skirt. On his Hamilton merch t-shirt, a trans flag and rainbow flag pin stuck out to the eye. John checked out the.. Person to see if they had boobs or not. Not any in sight. “You will pay for this you fool! You’re oppressing these minorities like you’re oppressing POC lgbtqabcdefg++ premium special edition sexy m&m people, you manlet! You’re actively contributing to the fish genocide!”

John sighed deeply and turned back to the cashier, he didn’t have time for this. He needed to surround himself with normal people and not this folk. This breed, wherever it belonged to, not quite a rare specimen but he didn’t know much about it.

“Do you hear me?! Huh?! I will post you on my TokTik and everyone will see how you are a little abuser, say goodbye to your job!” Georgetté swung her tightly rolled rolls and took out her stim toy before she had any further meltdowns.. John ignored till the roof suddenly fell down, and Georgetté started to weep as the voice was too much, but she had come prepared, she quickly but her earmuffs and put on a cold face. “I have to mask in this heteronormative, patriarchal, capitalist, ableist, neurotypical society unfortunately.. Let my voice be the unheard voice of the fish!” She roared before someone arose from the ground. Oh no. This… This can’t be…

“Ugh, I broke a nail, what the fuck?! I’m going to break your face too little bitchyboy Wick.” Pacifica soon transformed into her villain form by spinning in the air multiple times like a geometric shape, kicking the air and smashing the heads of a few kids trying to run away in the meantime. “We have unfinished business… You abandoned me there! We were supposed to be teammates… We beat everyone together.. But you betrayed me, you bitch. You left! That’s why, I’m here to punish you.”

John reached out for his gun almost immediately before they could come closer, however it wasn’t there. Fuck. “I’m a shoplifting God, baby, fuck capitalism!” Georgetté washed down the gun by stuffing her hand into a pack of cheetos, filling her mouth before sitting right on top of John, little bits of chips leaving her mouth, splattering all over his face as she cackled. Breaking his ribs probably, her morbidly obese-self sat cutely upon the white straight man. Women empowerment. Though, he had a dick.

The world turned dark for Wick, and his consciousness slipped away.

When he opened his eyes, he was trapped… Nothing was familiar except for this single shadow.. Who was this? This… Fish… Gill?! Oh God no. Why was Gill ten times bigger now with a nine pack, staring at him with hungry eyes. John felt his body shake with fear but also this unexplainable excitement. What was this supposed to be?

He immediately tried to set himself free by breaking the shackles however he was fully tied to the wall, legs and arms spread open, naked. Shit, this was embarrassing. And most certainly unwanted.

“Well… Well… Look who is awake..” Pacifica showed up in her dominatrix clothing as Georgetté stood behind her with her t-shirt saying “I <3 MILFS”

“What the fuck is this?! You couldn’t find me like a normal person?! You had to bring me into this?!” John yelled out in anger, trying to shake himself out but his wrists and ankles were in too much pain. He let out a deep sigh before he was moved across from the wall into the middle of the room.

“John… You thought I would let you get away?! We have a past together!” John sighed at Pacifica’s words. “I can’t change what happened.” He said with a deep and dark voice, he was a very light but dark individual, very very dark in fact. “It’s in the past now!” He shut his eyes as Gill pulled down his underwear to do the helicopter thing with his fish dick.

“I don’t accept that.. You’re not feeling any regret, are you?! I’m going to have Gill impregnate you with his little fish babies.”

John started screaming and shouting in agony and terror as Gill approached him. He looked down at his body to see how he was naked as well… And God, what was this wound around his groin?! Why hadn’t he noticed it before?! What the fuck was going to happen to him?! He was oiled up too, oh fuck no…

 

“I’ve implanted a uterus into you so you can carry babies… I’m sure you will make a great father.. Or.. Mother, perhaps!” Pacifica let out an evil laughter before John felt Gill’s fishy finns on his waist, shaking with the weird texture on his cold sweating skin. Gill spread his cheeks before pushing his fish dick inside, causing the other to yelp as he fucked his ass. Even if John had only felt terror at first, this terror soon replaced itself with pleasure and delight and… Motherly instincts. Why had he been running away from this all this time?! A fish wasn’t going to solve what motherhood could have. But right now, all he wanted to do was to kiss Gill’s fish dick for gifting him such an amazing thing.

When Gill was done with the fucking, John was unshackled, with his huge belly, he fell onto the floor and Pacifica immediately stitched up his ass so eggs wouldn’t pour out.

John could have never guessed fish baby mamas went into labor so fast. There he was.. In the hospital bed.. With his little fishies.. They were all mutated looking, some were stillborns and some were very i-miss-chromosomes looking but that was the beauty of nature and God. God and Gill had blessed his motherly, feminine womb with chromosome-looking, ugly babies and he couldn’t be happier. Now, he could fit in with the mom’s at the yoga class.

Chapter 10: One Forever

Summary:

Sorry for the long hiatus, Shreklings. Life happens. That's why I wanted to offer you all this beautifully emotional piece that I've written. I cried writing it too. We have surprise characters in this.

Mr. Potato Head knew this day would come. He knew that eventually his wife would grow tired of him. He had seen it in his restless dreams; he had heard it in her tone of voice. Those eyes, that once looked at him with so much fondness and love, now didn’t even look his way. In this beautiful house that they were technically squatting in, they had made countless memories.

But now, Mrs. Potato Head no longer wanted him. Instead, she wanted to attend swinger parties. At first, Mr. Potato Head hadn’t taken this idea very well. He had no dick, but she also had no holes; thus, what was it that she was seeking from other people? He remembered clearly, how one night, his emotions got the best of him.

If she didn’t want him any longer, then what was the point of ever being in this planet anymore? He had tried pushing himself off the shelf he stood, only to fail miserably and fall onto the bed instead. He was such a failure, a retarded fucking loser that couldn’t even kill himself. Plus, on top of everything, Andy used him to stim – since he was autistic – and he had been already through a lot, always coming back to his wife’s arms smelling of fart and mouth breath since he was sat on and chewed. He couldn’t even get intimate with her anymore due to the bite marks on his ass.
But unfortunately, he was still here, living another day to see his wife get swept off her feet by… Rex. Each time, he had to prepare to share this piece of information by implying certain breathing techniques and different coping mechanisms, usually ten at a time to minimize the psychological distress. When he had first opened up to his therapist, he had said it too fast, causing him to have a panic attack where he shat himself on accident and left crying. Now, he was taking ten deep breaths between each word to make his brain be as disconnected as possible from the topic, and using the “R word” instead. No, not retard. Just, Rex.

Mr. Potato Head hated race mixing. He had been called racist for it before, and yeah, maybe he was a part of P.P.P (Plu Plux Plan) And yeah, maybe he was a potato supremacist that blurted out slurs. But he didn’t hate others, he just thought that potatoes were the most beautiful race and that was that. So, it had especially been hard on him, knowing that his wife could be with a dinosaur, and not another potato.

Despite everything, being a potato meant being resilient. Mr. Potato Head had been a potatokind nationalist for so long. Over the centuries, they had been killed in countless genocides, yet they continued to exist; thus, he wanted to be a man like his ancestors were; strong, resilient, the man of the house. Thus, he allowed himself to be cucked like a good boy.

Now, he was at the entrance of one of the parties with his wife. This was their first, and God was he nervous. He didn’t want to see others touching his wife, let alone look at her, but for her happiness, he was willing to suffer.

Once they entered in, it was a whole new world. Neon lights scattering everywhere, down the bodies and faces of the potatoes; the smell of alcohol and life lingered in the air, filling up the pores of Mr. Potato Head. Perhaps, this wasn’t so bad. As long as he drank enough alcohol to black out and not remember a thing, he knew he would be fine.

“I will go and meet some people for us!” Mrs. Potato Head smiled lightly at him before she disappeared into the crowd. He watched her long, black wig swing from one side to another behind her, the threads of her thong raised up to her hips, peeking from her jeans. He never knew his wife was the type to dress up this way. She hadn’t even put on her wedding ring, nor was she wearing the earrings he had bought for her.

My. Potato Head simply nodded. Who was he to say anything anyways?

Instead, he started walking, passing by couples who were making out and living their love to the peak. He once used to be that way with his wife. When they were young, he was a bad boy. Not many believed that potatoes could be bad boys, but he was out there, breaking societal norms as a brown, able-bodied, sound-minded, heterosexual potato that was oppressed the most and stood in the very bottom of the hierarchical pyramid. He rode his own motorcycle to crash it, and picked up no girls, and he hadn’t been called handsome until he met his wife. Coming to think of it, maybe she only called him handsome once, and that was after he insisted, he was the ugliest, most shit-looking, dumbest idiot ever in the world.

Suddenly, however, in the far distance; he noticed someone. This smooth, blue skin… It was out of the ordinary, unlike anyone he had ever seen. Looking like he had swam up from the depths of the ocean… The ocean that Mr. Potato Head wanted to drown in. That immaculate jaw, the nine-pack and those clothes about to burst out of his body due to how tight they were with his muscles… Who was this? And why did he want to get to know him? This was no potato. No. He couldn’t. He loved his wife; he was not subscribed to the monthly LGBTQABCDEFG community.

He watched as the drops of champagne dripped from this handsome beast’s chin, down to his huge pecks. He knew that if we were to be dying at a desert out of dehydration, a single drop that he would lick from this man’s tits would save his life.

Mr. Potato Head hadn’t felt this way in so long, not even towards his wife. Thus, he found himself walking towards him with no thought.

“H-H-H-Hi…” He managed to mutter, and their eyes met. “I’m Potato Head…”

“Hi, sexy.” He grinned, “I’m Handsome Squidward.”

Pink crept up to Mr. Potato Head’s cheeks. He had never seen anyone so handsome like this before, wanting to lean in and plant a little kissy-kiss on his lippy-lips already. But no—What was he thinking about? God. What would his ancestors think?

“Handsome Squidward? What are you doing at a potato-only party?”

“Since I’m so handsome, they let me inside.”

Mr. Potato Head nodded, still struggling to take his eyes off of the other. For a moment, he wished that he was drunk so that he could do anything he wanted with him and not have to think about it afterwards. But no – Mr. Potato Head wanted an eternity with this super sexy man. What did all his arms could do? Would he be able to carry him bridal style on the night of their wedding? Kiss his lips?

“Are you into potatoes?”

“Potatoes are my type.”

Mr. Potato Head blushed even harder, his knees shaking like an anime girl as he placed his fists near his cheeks, a small “Kyaa!” leaving his lips. Suddenly, however, he saw his wife approaching them; he couldn’t let her talk to him. So, he grabbed Squidward’s hand and started running away with him. Each time he looked back, he could see how effortlessly handsome Squidward was, floating like a handsome kite in the air, his handsome lips handsomely parted, handsome eyes shining with more handsomeness. He was radiating handsomeness, and perhaps shitting it too. Was his shit handsome too? Just the perfect brown and the perfect log shape? Who knows? Really. Who else knew Squiddywaddy wand this way?

Soon, they were sitting on a hill, under the moon. He felt Squidward’s gaze linger on him, heart pounding onto his chest. His wife hadn’t made him feel this way for years, and now, this guy? He was everything.

“You know…” Squidward took off Mr. Potato Head’s hat and placed it on his own bald head, smiling. “You look like P Diddy.”

Mr. Potato Head’s smile gently faded away. “I’m already insecure, Squeefy. Why are you telling me that?”

“But I said “like”, not exactly.” Mr. Potato Head shrugged – or tried to because he didn’t have shoulders and he quite literally only bounced a little – and it hurt. He knew he wasn’t handsome like Squeefy right here but he still tried.

“I love watching the moon with you, my cutie patootie.”

“Oh my God, staaaaph! Squeefy, you’re making me blush!”

“Let me show you something.”

And just like, Squidward started leaning in. Mr. Potato Head felt as though his heart could explode at any second, leaning in as well sheepishly before he felt Squidward’s breath against his nose, and they bumped. Ugly fucking retard manlet Potato had such a huge fucking nose that it hindered them from kissing, and maybe that was the best thing that has ever happened to Squidward as now he didn’t actually have to kiss a potato. A fucking potato.

But before they could even say anything, the two were grabbed by a huge hand, suddenly turning back to toys. Mr. Potato Head watched with fear as they were lifted up, and then a shout followed. “You cunt Andy, why the fuck did you take the food to your room, you absolute dumbass?!” A loud male voice followed, and suddenly, they were in the kitchen, next to a pot.

Mr. Potato Head tried holding the hand of Squidward, but there was none to hold; instead, he tried to place his hand on top of his… Thing instead. Squeefy looked at him with not-so-handsome eyes this time. Those eyes instead said “I just shat my pants to the point it’s big like a diaper right now.” And when he looked down, he could see it seep out his gorgeous beautiful blue smooth thighs.

“It’s going to be okay.” He mumbled, but doubted so. This was the end. The end to his life, but not the end of their love; for he knew he would find Squiddywaddydiddy in every other universe.
Mr. Potato Head was the first to be grabbed. First it was his left arm that got plucked out with force, then his right. He had watched fetish content before of potatoes being prepared thus he was hard as fuck right now, a single drop of precum falling upon the eye of Squidward.

“I’m sorry.” Mr. Potato Head mouthed, but the other could not see anyways.

He wanted to scream in agony, but absolutely could not. Instead, his eyes rolled back, shaking in pain before he was placed onto the counter and then grabbed together with Squidward this time.
Now, he was looking at his lover on top of the pot. He wanted to be a couple with him – not seafood boil. But it was too late. They didn’t have any time to look at each other, Mr. Potato Head hadn’t even had the time to fully carve Squeefy’s handsome face into his mind and just like it started, it was ending the same way. He couldn’t handle this.

“I love you. Uwu.”

“Stupid dick, this is your fault.”

And like that, they were dropped. Falling down, a single tear flew in the air from Mr. Potato Head’s eye, and his hand sought out for Squidward’s. But instead, the boiling water touched him; his screams drowned out by the water, looking at his handsome lover through the water for the last time before his eyeballs were the first to boil. Just like that, their cute love story had ended as fast as it started. But they were still together, whether in a seafood boil that was going to be used in a mukbang by some waste-of-life obese fatass that cum at the idea of food, or just fed to some pregnant lady. They could be together in the water, in their plate, in their bowels; and lastly in their shit; as one. One forever.