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November was coming to a close, the snow steadily rolling in. It blanketed the streets in sheets of white as the citizens began to prefer staying in their homes against the harsh weather.
Megamind hated this time of year. It seemed his body went against him, doing precisely everything he didn't want to do. He was a supervillain, and supervillains didn't take down time because of a few snowflakes.
He never reacted well to the cold. It had always made him feel terribly lethargic, wanting to just curl up and sleep. But evil didn't sleep, and evil certainly couldn't have the Metro citizens believing they had been plagued with some kind of a fair-weather villain, only attacking in the summer and hiding away in the winter. No, he would power through, no matter what it took.
Minion had warned him against his most recent plot. The plan was simple: set up on the roof of an abandoned warehouse somewhere in the Industrial District, fire the Affixicator of Doom at Metro Man, and take over Metrosity as their hero is stuck fast to some building.
(No, the Affixicator was NOT a giant glue gun. He would not listen to anyone who challenged him about this.)
The problem was that the plot was meant to debut back in October, the last one before the big Halloween special. But building the giant battle suit he was preparing for the end of the month ended up overshadowing the Affixicator, and whilst it saddened him that the plot couldn't be deployed, his extra work into the suit had more than paid off. He would go as far as to say it had been his best (worst? evilest? baddest) Halloween special yet. To be topped by next year, of course.
But deploying the Affixicator when snow was due any day could prove dangerous, Minion had warned. Of course, all of Megamind's plots were protected against any sort of weather, they lived in Michigan for evil's sake- but whilst the machine could last in the cold Megamind clearly could not.
But naturally, he took this as a challenge.
Before leaving, he made sure to down two cups of coffee. He would need the caffeine for stopping the lethargy from creeping in. He then grabbed the keys to the hoverbike and took off for the rooftop. Minion would stay in the lair controlling the presentation side of things- the laser lights, the surround sound. Really, he should get the credit for Megamind's dramatic entrances. He had always been the one overseeing everything from backstage, the fantastic fish.
The moment he exited the Lair he began second-guessing whether this was actually a good idea. The Lair was kitted out with countless heaters scattered across the entire building, keeping its interior at a perfect warm temperature. They had been the first thing Megamind installed when he and Minion took over the old power plant. But now, after having flown out through the secret entrance and being thwacked in the face with a great wall of cold, all he wanted to do was turn around and curl up in bed.
No. He had a plot to deploy.
And besides, the caffeine would help. Sure, it was just a slight bit colder than he had anticipated but that shouldn't prove too much of an issue.
He landed on the roof of the warehouse, cloaking the hoverbike with its invisible shield before walking over to where the brainbots were just finishing setting up the Affixicator on the edge of the roof. It looked menacing, at least; it was a massive gun, probably around the size of the average Metrosity transit bus, similar in build to the De-Gun but with his more traditional blue and black colour scheme rather than the gold trimmings. Black body, blue lightning bolts, and spikes wherever he could put them. That's how you knew something belonged to Megamind.
It was mounted on a steel structure keeping it a way off the ground, which allowed it to rotate to hone in on Metro Man. It had been programmed to automatically detect and target any human-shaped object in white with a white cape. He was especially proud of that feature. Maybe he should implement it on that giant robot he had been considering building.
He shivered a little, pulling his cape around himself. The caffeine was working; for now, at least. Shame it didn't stop him from feeling the cold.
The brainbots began to dissipate from the Affixicator and a few bowged at him, communicating that it was set up and ready to go. Good thing the adhesive wasn't physically stored in the gun because there was no way it wouldn't be frozen by now. It was generated through an electronically stimulated chemical reaction when the activation button on its control panel was pressed, essentially creating the glue on demand to shoot the hero with.
Megamind whistled, and a vanity brainbot came whizzing up to him. It held up a mirror, in which the villain smoothed his eyebrows and checked his eyeliner for smudges. After confirming his presentation was indeed in check he thanked the bot quietly and it flew off to join the rest of its peers. It was quickly replaced by a camera bot, already angling itself to capture Megamind at his most flattering angle. With everything set up, all that was left was to signal Minion to start the show.
/
"Why ollo, my dear friend Metro Mahn. So glad you could join me on this fine wintery day," Megamind smirked as naturally as he could manage, pacing around the roof and trying his best to forget about the cold. He could've sworn the temperature had dropped further since before the hero had shown up.
"Unfortunately, however, this visit isn't quite in your best interest. Because as much as I would love to enjoy your company, today you will find yourself in a rather… sticky situation," he ended in a sinister tone, accompanied by a practised evil smile that he knew would look forced.
Metro Man didn't seem to pick up on it. If he did, he was doing a great job at ignoring it.
"For today-" he began with a dramatic flick of his cape, instantly regretting it as he was blasted with a gust of cold wind- "I… I will strike you down with my latest and greatest weapon of your personal peril- the Affixicator of Doom!" he finished, somewhat stiffly. The wind had thrown him off with just how utterly bone-chilling it was, and he was starting to feel like he'd have to make a conscious effort just to stay upright.
Metro Man blinked. If he hadn't noticed Megamind's struggle before, he definitely had now.
"And I-" Megamind started, making a move over to the machine. But apparently, his leg just didn't want to, because it moved a fraction of a second after he had told it to. It wasn't by a lot, but just enough to throw him off his balance and down to his hands and knees in the snow.
He cursed under his breath. Why now? This shouldn't be happening, it shouldn't be this cold-
"Buddy? Are you okay?"
Metro Man was in front of him. He must have used super speed or something because he had not been there a second ago. Megamind didn't respond. He didn't think he could even if he wanted to. His mind felt numb; thought seemed impossible at the moment. All he could think of was just how fucking cold it was.
He heard Metro Man's voice calling out, and the distant sound of his brainbots' bowgs, but they sounded miles away. Underwater. His chest felt horribly tight. Breathing was becoming difficult. Is this what dying felt like? He was pretty sure he was dying right now.
His arms finally gave out under him and he collapsed to the snowy roof, feeling himself unconsciously curl up about as small as he could make himself, and a sudden wave of fatigue crashed down on him like a wave. Closing his eyes, he felt a pair of warm hands slip under his body, but that was the last thing he registered before unconsciousness claimed him.
/
Wayne startled, holding the villain close to his chest. He could already hear the confused sound of the citizens with his super hearing, but that was the least of his concerns right now.
He couldn't feel any heat from Megamind's body.
The brainbots had flocked away somewhere after he collapsed, but he could hardly think about what they were doing. Megamind was unconscious in his arms and Wayne couldn't feel any body heat.
He launched into the sky, ignoring the ever-increasing murmurs and shouts of the citizens, wrapping his cape around the small villain's prone form to shield him from the snow. But he didn't head towards the prison. Or the hospital, for that matter. They wouldn't know what to do with him- alien biology, and all- and Megamind would never forgive him for taking him there. No, he had somewhere else in mind.
It had been a secret, and as much as Wayne wanted to keep it that way, this situation was more than a little dire. He had a bunker. A bunker far out from the city, soundproofed and hidden under a decrepit old schoolhouse.
Their schoolhouse.
It had been a means to get away from his superhero duties. No matter where he was, someone always needed help. He could always hear them. But not in the bunker. It was a safe space.
When Wayne arrived at the building, it was as simple as pulling out a specific book from the shelf to open a secret corridor. Cliché, but he had sort of hoped it was so cliché that no one would think to do it.
He flew through the corridor, too concerned to even consider touching the ground, and pushed open the door with enough force to break its uppermost hinge. He didn't care.
"You'd better not die on me, Megs," he pleaded under his breath, setting the villain down on his bed and pulling the blankets over him.
He could barely see him breathing, and his face was frighteningly drained of colour.
He couldn't be dead. There was no way he could be dead.
but fuck if he didn't look it
Wayne groaned, removing the blanket just long enough to unfasten the clip at Megamind's insignia and remove the entire array, cape and all, which he slid out from underneath the villain's unconscious body. And as carefully as he could, he pressed his fore and middle fingers against the inside of his wrist.
The pulse was weak, and very very slow, but it was there. Wayne almost sobbed with relief.
He removed Megamind's boots and set them on the floor with his cape and mantle, then did the same with his gloves. He didn't much feel like spikes tearing holes in his mattress. Then he set about gathering every blanket he had and piling them on the bed.
Apparently, though, every blanket he owned wasn't very many at all. Wayne never felt the cold as much as others, so he had never needed much more than his duvet. But he had to warm Megamind up, and he didn't know what else to do except…
Fuck it.
Taking a deep breath, he climbed into the bed and held Megamind close to his chest.
God, he was so cold. It practically felt like hugging ice.
Now that the villain was in his arms, it was hard not to notice just how tiny the guy was. Wayne could almost wrap his arms around him twice if he wanted to.
He curled his legs up, gently rubbing Megamind's arms. He hadn't stirred since he collapsed and Wayne already felt like he was going to pass out from worry. He pressed his forehead against Megamind's back, closing his eyes. He'd wake up soon. He had to.
/
Megamind gradually awoke to a pounding headache. Not the most uncommon of events, but…
His eyes opened groggily, but he barely registered anything, a task difficult already but made worse by the distracting weight pinning him to the bed.
…Why was there a weight pinning him to the bed?!
Instinctively he tried to struggle out of the grip but apparently his body hadn't fully woken up yet because his limbs were incredibly stiff. How long had he been out? It can't have been particularly long because he still felt slightly cold, and the Lair was fitted out with countless heaters to keep it at the perfect temperature. So unless he-
Wait a minute.
White walls. White walls with gold trimmings that snaked up and around to photo frames of
oh no
His first reaction was to bring his leg up and kick backwards as hard as he could. Unfortunately that proved incredibly difficult as his limbs were still not cooperating and all he did was arrange himself into a very awkward position.
"Wayne!" he hissed, trying his best to turn over. His body still wasn't having it.
A murmur came from somewhere behind him, and was followed by Wayne cuddling Megamind even closer like a teddy bear.
"Wayne please you're crushing my arm," he tried again, even though as much as he hated to admit it he was enjoying the warmth radiating from Wayne's body.
"...shhussh… tryn'a sleep…"
"Wayne, if you don't wake up this instant I will tell Metrosity about how you broke through the shool roof due to a yellow crayon."
"WHERE?!"
Wayne was up instantly, hovering a few feet above the bed in a rather protective stance, eyes almost comically wide. Megamind grinned to himself. Now would be the time for him to make his escape out of the bed but moving was still just not happening. Especially not now that Wayne's warmth was gone. Darn.
Even though barely able to turn his head, Megamind could feel the hero's eyes on him. It was a sense he had picked up over his years as a villain. Knowing when he was being watched. And it was unmistakable.
"What's wrong, Metro Mahn? Perturbed by the thought of children's art supplies of a particular hue? Whatever would the mindless Metro drones think-"
"What on Earth happened?"
Megamind blinked. Wayne had just appeared there in the same fashion as on the roof, crouching down to meet his eye level at the edge of the bed and it was horribly disconcerting. Even more disconcerting, though, was the fact that the hero had completely ignored his attempt at mockery and was studying him with a face of- was that concern?
"I fell."
Wayne because he sighed in exasperation and gripped his knees anxiously.
"No, seriously, Megs. What happened? You…"
He paused, taking a deep breath.
"I thought you were dying."
Megamind startled, searching Wayne's face. But he didn't find any trace of dishonesty, even whilst the hero had suddenly become very interested in the floor. Wayne… had been worried about him?
He swallowed, trying to formulate an answer. "If I'm completely honest, I thought I was too. It's never normally like this, I don't know why it was so bad this time…"
Wayne blinked. "Normally?"
Megamind sighed. "I never really wanted this to be a known fact, but I suppose with the current circumstances you deserve an explanation." He shifted a little. "But- uh, do you think you could turn the heating up a bit first? My limbs haven't woken up yet and I don't think the cold is helping much."
Wayne tilted his head, but nodded nonetheless and floated out of the room, still bearing a concerned expression. Megamind sighed and closed his eyes, cuddling up into the sheets more. Maybe if he imagined hard enough he could transport himself back to his perfectly warm Lair.
"...Thermostat's been turned up. Now please, explain," Megamind heard Wayne say from behind closed eyes. "Don't tell me you've gone back to sleep."
"Think I've had enough sleep for today," Megamind grumbled. Wayne let out a not-quite laugh and sat cross-legged on the other side of the bed.
"Wanna tell me why that happened, then? I- I know you said you… didn't want it to be a known fact? But…" Wayne trailed off, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. Megamind hummed slightly, internally debating whether or not he actually wanted to tell his arch nemesis his biggest weakness.
The villain stretched stiffly. "At least I'm able to move again. Hold on…" he slowly rolled over to face Wayne. "There. Now look at me."
"This isn't to be used against me in our battles. I'm only telling you this because I can imagine it was quite a shock and frankly you're owed an explanation." He once again searched Wayne's face for any sort of deceit but found nothing, before letting out a short huff.
"I can't handle cold temperatures. I- when I get too cold, I get incredibly lethargic and end up curling up to sleep. Don't laugh at me," he finished, feeling his cheeks go lavender.
But Wayne didn't look remotely amused. Surprised, yes, but Megamind couldn't see any sort of humour or even judgement on the hero's face. "You know, my snake did the same thing."
"You have a snake?!" Megamind sputtered.
"Had. My mum bought me a corn snake for my twelfth birthday. I named him Slitherbutt." Wayne replied.
Megamind wasn't quite sure how to respond to that.
"Look, I just wanted to find a way to relate. And having something in common with snakes is pretty cool. Do you like basking in heat lamps, too?" Wayne asked with a joking grin.
"...Perhaps." came the quiet reply.
"...Oh," Wayne said simply, honestly not expecting that answer. "So you like it warm and get sleepy in the cold? What are you, cold-blooded?" he joked, leaning back to float mid-air.
Megamind didn't respond.
"Uh… Megs? …Are you cold-blooded?"
"I- I don't know."
The villain slowly sat up, a completely bemused expression on his face. Wayne frowned, sitting back down in front of him. "You don't know?"
"I'd have no basis to know. It's not like I can just call up my people and ask hey, are we cold-blooded? Be reasonable, Wayne. There are probably hundreds of things about ourselves that neither of us knows because of that reason. It's frustrating, don't get me wrong, but there's really not much we can do about it," Megamind replied, with as sincere a tone he could manage.
"Why not? I'd have assumed you could find a way to contact our planets by now."
Megamind's eyes widened. "You- you don't know?"
Wayne just stared, silently willing him to continue. Megamind looked away, a look of unease drawing over his features.
"I could build a communication device with my eyes closed whilst simultaneously plotting my next device of destruction," he began. "That's not the issue. The issue is…"
"The issue is there's nothing left to contact, Wayne. Our planets… are dead. We are the only remainders of them," he finished quietly.
Wayne felt his stomach drop like a stone, his throat suddenly very dry. He couldn't be serious. This had to be some kind of trick. But one look into those bright green eyes told him that no, that was the truth.
Tears sprung to his eyes and before he could stop them, he was crying.
"Wayne? Ah- it's… okay? There there?" Megamind attempted, and whilst his lacklustre tries at calming him were somewhat amusing it didn't help at all because holy shit this is too much. Not only was he sure Megamind was dying this morning but now he had just learned his entire home planet was gone and he was probably the last survivor of his species and oh my god does Megamind remember that happening? He was pretty damn sure the guy didn't forget anything, at least.
And it certainly didn't help that Megamind was the one who collapsed and yet he was consoling him.
Today had probably been the most emotionally taxing day Wayne had faced in a while and it was as though the weight of everything had finally caused him to cave and have everything flood out in tears. He was pretty sure Megamind was trying to comfort him but the little guy wasn't doing much, just repeating useless things and awkwardly patting his much larger arm.
He appreciated the effort.
But then the most confusing part of all happened. Megamind leaned in and hugged him. It was so surprising that Wayne actually stopped crying just to gape for a moment, and apparently Megamind picked up on that because he proceeded to squeeze and gently rub his hands on Wayne's back.
Wayne knew Megamind didn't approve of being touched, so the fact that he had actively hugged him- with the nemesis status, no less- said something. And for whatever reason it caused the tears to come flooding back as Wayne gripped the little villain tight and sobbed.
"Ack! No- you were supposed to stop crying now- ugh, you're going to smudge my eyeliner…" came a muffled voice from somewhere around Wayne's chest. He hadn't even noticed he had pressed Megamind's face into his body like that. Whoops.
He chose not to inform the villain that his eyeliner had been smudged ever since he collapsed.
The tears slowly began to subside, but Wayne didn't release his grip. "...I should be mad, but you are very warm," Megamind muttered, shifting around in Wayne's grip so he wasn't quite as smooshed as he was before. Wayne loosened his embrace enough to allow it.
"Sorry… God, I am so sorry, Megs, I- I don't know what-"
"No, it's okay. I think I reacted the same way as I watched my planet collapse," Megamind replied softly.
"...So you do remember," Wayne sniffed.
"I remember everything. I know I brag about it, but really… really, it's a curse. The bad outweighs the good- and it's not the good type of bad, but- well, not good, I mean-"
"I know what you mean," Wayne cut him off. "It sounds horrible."
"...It is."
Their conversation trailed into silence, the two of them just sitting comfortably on Wayne's bed.
"Should I lay back?" the hero asked. Megamind blinked, turning slightly purple. "I- yes, that, that would be nice," he responded, and Wayne reclined back into the pillow with Megamind's head resting on his chest. They returned to silence for a short while.
"Did you ever consider the possibility you could be cold-blooded?" Wayne asked after a while.
"No. Everyone else is warm-blooded, so I assumed… also, I don't particularly do very much research on reptil-ees and amphibians, so it would've never crossed my brilliant mind that… it could be possible," Megamind responded quietly. "But if the traits match then…"
Wayne hummed. "Well, let's see. How warm do you keep the Lair?"
"Exactly 78.7 degrees."
Wayne sputtered. "Okay, wow, that's- that's warm. And you say you get sleepy in the cold?"
"Fatigued, yes. But I often just drink coffee to keep myself awake."
"What?!" Wayne exclaimed. "Did you do that earlier?"
"Yes."
"No wonder you collapsed!" The hero sat up suddenly, and Megamind fell off of him to the mattress with a yelp. Wayne faced him, gripping his shoulders. "If you really are cold-blooded, Megs, then you can't survive in the cold. The reason you get sleepy is so that your body can slow its activity to a point where you will survive. Stopping it from being able to do that is…"
Megamind's eyes widened. "Oh."
Wayne shook him slightly. "You could've died, you- you- you idiot!"
"That's based on a hypothesis, Wayne, we don't know if I'm actually-"
"Oh come on, this is the only explanation. What's your natural body temperature?" Wayne questioned, exasperated.
"Body temperature?" Megamind echoed. "Uh…"
"Exactly!" Wayne threw his arms up. "Oh, but that does explain why I couldn't feel any body heat earlier…"
"It… certainly does explain a lot, yes," Megamind resigned. "Well, you… learn something new every day, I suppose…"
Wayne was about to respond when he was cut off by Megamind's watch crackling.
"Sir?!" Even the transmission's compression couldn't stop worry from being heard in his voice. "Sir, where are you? I've been trying to contact you ever since you collapsed but haven't been able to reach you, what happened? Are you safe? Is-"
"Minion, my fantastic henchfish!" Megamind replied. "I'm sorry you couldn't reach me, must've been a communications issue or some such… I'll look into it. But I'm sure you'll be glad to know I'm safe. I'll be returning to the Lair soon, so don't worry."
"Where are you? Do you need me to collect you? I can-"
"No, no, it's okay, Minion, though thank you for your concern. I'm safe, and-"
"What happened? You just- you just collapsed, and-"
Wayne cut in. "He's in safe hands, Minion. You don't need to worry."
"Metro Man?!"
"HAHA ANYWAY GOODBYE MINION." Megamind hastily cut the transmission with a slap and muted his watch before glaring daggers at Wayne.
"Look, I-"
"Wayne, you are deplorable. An absolute disgrace. My next plot will incorporate as many yellow crayons as I can fit in."
Wayne shivered. "You wouldn't dare."
"Ooooh, how about a giant Gatling gun that shoots them? And maybe it's shaped like-"
"I'm sorry for talking to Minion, okay? Is that what you want?" he sighed.
"No, I just don't want to have to face his questions. Not today, after… everything that happened." He gulped, his eyes widening. "Did- did it happen on camera?"
Wayne winced. "...Errr.."
"Oh, for evil's sake…" Megamind muttered, putting his face into his hands.
"Hey, I'm sure people will forget soon enough! They probably didn't even do any broadcasts on it…" Wayne lied.
Megamind looked at him. "Where's your TV remote?"
"Bedside table behind you."
The villain took the remote and flicked the TV to whatever channel it had been on before.
Programs start at 00:00
"Ah…" Wayne gulped, feeling his face heat up. Megamind facepalmed and switched to the KMCP 8 channel, where the pair were greeted by a pretty, young woman sporting a neat pixie cut.
"...when Megamind seemingly collapsed. Our city's humble hero Metro Man…"
Megamind threw the remote at the TV. Wayne gasped, moving lightning fast to catch it just before it shattered the screen. He decided wisely to turn it off.
"Seriously?" he asked.
"I told you! I can never live this down. The city thinks I'm some lousy villain who can't even keep himself upright and Minion is worried and I told you our planets are dead and-"
He stopped, blinking for a few seconds.
"I'm going back to bed. Wake me up when the city has forgotten me so I can change my name and move to a different state," he said, lying back down.
Wayne sighed. "You're a real drama queen, you know that?"
"Never forget it."
"..."
"Hey, if I am cold-blooded, can you turn the thermostat down so I really can hibernate until this has blown over?"
"Brumate. And no."
"Darn."
"...But I could come and keep you warm again."
Megamind was quiet for a bit, before replying softly. "I'd like that."
Wayne smiled a little, laying down on the bed behind the villain to spoon him gently. They lay like that for a little while, only the sounds of each other's breathing filling the room, until Megamind broke the silence.
"Wayne?"
"Yes?"
"We never speak of this again."
"...Right."