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English
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Published:
2023-06-19
Completed:
2023-06-19
Words:
1,783
Chapters:
2/2
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Are You Satisfied

Summary:

A little drabble about Lilith and her self-image issues.

Title based on the song by MARINA.

Notes:

"Do I need to lie to make my way in life?" -- "Are You Satisfied" by MARINA

•••

When Lilith returns to her childhood home(after the events of season 2 episode 4, Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances), she realizes the extent of her self-image issues and takes a leap of faith towards change.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Sun shone through the window into Lilith's dark bedroom. Her first night back at her childhood home had been a peaceful one, especially without Hooty constantly making a racket, though she did miss the strange bird-worm-demon-creature.

 

There was a knock at her door-- loud enough to wake her, but gentle enough that it wasn't too abrupt.

 

"Good morning, Lilith, dear," Gwendolyn called to her daughter through the door. "Are you awake?"

 

Lilith groggily sat up. "Huh...? Uh... Yes, I'm awake. Good morning, mother."

 

Her white bird palisman chimed in with a squawk.

 

"Good morning to you too, Mike Socks," Gwendolyn said. "I'm making breakfast. You still like goreberry pancakes, right?"

 

"Yes, I do." Lilith smiled at the mention of her favorite way to start the morning.

 

"Alright, then. Join us downstairs in a few minutes?"

 

"Sure. Thank you, mother."

 

"You're welcome, sweet flea."

 

Lilith got out of bed. She glanced at herself in the mirror. She was left with bed head from her slumber, so she entered her bathroom, and after splashing some cool water on her face, she picked up her hairbrush and began detangling her long black hair. After a few minutes of brushing, her mother knocked on the door a second time.

 

"Lilith, darling, you don't have to change out of your pajamas, if that's what you're doing. Your dad and I are still in ours, we won't judge. You can just come down now if you're ready."

 

"Ah, alright, um... Noted," Lilith called.

 

"What are you doing?"

 

"Brushing my hair."

 

"Okay, dear, see you in a few minutes."

 

Lilith brushed the last section of her hair, but it was still curly, and she never went anywhere with it looking that way. So she switched to her straightener.

 

Straightening her hair wasn't an only-a-few-minutes kind of task, so eventually her mother came knocking again.

 

"Sweet flea, surely you've brushed your hair by now?"

 

"I'm straightening it," Lilith replied.

 

"I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. Can I come in, dear? It's easier to talk to you without yelling through this door."

 

Lilith hesitated, but then shrugged. "Okay," she answered.

 

"I think that was an 'okay'? I'm coming in."

 

Gwendolyn entered and approached the doorway of the bathroom. "What were you saying?"

 

"Sorry for taking so long," Lilith said sheepishly. "I'm straightening my hair."

 

"Whatever are you doing that for?"

 

"Oh. Well..." Lilith mumbled, "I just... I always straighten my hair."

 

"I mean, straighten it if you'd like, but dear, you're just coming downstairs for breakfast. You don't have to put in all that effort." Gwendolyn said. "I've always thought that was strange-- you don't seem like you wear it that way because you want to. It's as if you don't like it."

 

"I just... I've done it since joining the Emperor's Coven-- that's why I dyed it, too. So people would take me seriously." Lilith explained.

 

"Sweet flea, is that what you think? That have to look a certain way to be listened to?"

 

Oh. Lilith paused. "Well... I did... But..."

 

"Dear, if I had any part in making you think that way, I'm sorry. You can wear your hair curly and we'll still take you seriously." Gwendolyn told her. "We love you. Your appearance has no effect on that."

 

Lilith stayed quiet.

 

"We'll see you downstairs whenever you're ready." Gwen turned and left the room.

 

After a moment, Lilith set the straightener down. She splashed water in her hair, rubbed it in, and brushed it. She grabbed her glasses and put them on. Looking in the mirror, it felt strange -- different. But it felt right. She felt more like herself.

 

She turned off the bathroom light and, beckoning to her Palisman, she left the room to join her family downstairs.

 

Her father greeted her with a welcoming glance when she descended the steps. Gwen set a plate on the table. She noticed Lilith when she turned around.

 

"There you are," she said warmly.

 

"Here I am." Lilith smiled.