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I never paid much attention to my organic parts, even when they were slaking off. I paid as much attention to them as I did to my non-organic parts. They were simply pieces of me, necessary, serving a function. Sometimes I found them annoying, but my non-organic parts were sometimes annoying as well (like when I forgot how to walk, for example).
Compared to my non-organic parts though, my organic parts were regenerated more often than my hardware was replaced (it was rarely replaced. A lot of it is proprietary information, too, so I don’t even know how I would get it replaced now. Maybe ART could fabricate the parts. Maybe without logos… huh. Note to self: ask ART if it could do that). It never mattered much, was never anything to remark on, until… until ART helped to make me look more human, to help me blend in. It gave me hair, more than on my head and eyebrows and eyelashes. Which was weird, but it made sense. Humans are covered in sparse hair. That was the first time I truly paid attention to my organic parts.
See, my skin is, well, smoother than a standard humans is, usually. Partially because it has to be regenerated so often, so bumps and bruises don’t stay and scars never have the chance to form. But also because of my code, because of my initial skin. It was grown, cloned, and so it was perfect. Void of imperfections. Smooth and blank as a freshly born human infant (I’m assuming. I’ve never actually met one). And now it has sparse hair, too, but it’s still sort of abnormally smooth. Or, it was.
It has been… a while, since I’d had to regenerate anything. All things considered its been a fairly peaceful time since we arrived back at Preservation. And I have been down to the planet a few times, just to make sure the humans stayed intact (I do not understand why they feel the need to go to the surface when everything they need is on the station. Planets are full of unnecessary risks). All this to say that I… have marks, now. I do not recall when they showed up. One cycle, I looked at my face and they were just there, a few small spots. And the next time I thought to look, there were more.
They’re on my hands, too. I think… I think they might be sunspots, or freckles, or something. From the sun. On the planet.
It’s weird.
I’ve noticed them before, for lack of a better word. The humans have them, sometimes. Some more than others. Different sizes, different patterns, no consistency. Not everyone has them. They are unimportant.
They don’t feel unimportant, on me.
I do not often have my drones focused on myself. I have run back the footage I have of myself to see when they appear but I can’t pinpoint it. I know that previous to my forays onto the planet I didn’t have them, and now I do, and sometimes there are more. I am changing. My skin is changing.
I… I don’t think I dislike it.
I need to ask ART, next time I see it, if this was a part of its code. If it added this, when it gave me hair. Or… Or if this has always been a possibility.
I have never existed outside without my armour to the extent that I have on Preservation. I have not gone so long without being put in a cubicle. Is this a property of my skin, of my organic components? Am I meant to have these spots? My body is not meant to change, but I have already changed it from factory standard. I am shorter, my hair is longer, I have body hair, and now… now I have spots, too. And it is still changing.
The new changes are so small, so subtle, but they feel bigger. Every time I notice a new spot, I feel an emotion. I am unsure which one, but it is intense (I usually end up watching Sanctuary Moon to regulate myself again).
I attempted to bring the topic up with Dr. Mensah. She told me to wear sunscreen. Apparently, the light from the sun on-planet can injure humans (why do they keep going to planets? Really?). I think I need to do some research (ugh). But, unless the spots are some kind of danger, I think… I think I might like them, even though they keep multiplying.
I think I maybe like that I can change.