Work Text:
Bruce looked over the pathetically small file. It contained all the information he had gathered on the Red Hood despite the numerous hours he had spent investigating Crime Alley’s newest player.
It was hardly anything.
He did at least know it wasn’t the Joker going back to his former name. The clown had been dead for three months now and since then it had felt like the city breathed a collective sigh of relief, despite the other rogues that still popped up now and then.
There had been concern, of course, at least on Bruce’s part, that the Joker wasn’t actually dead, or that the body was a fake, or that he had been brought back somehow (again). But the evidence was solid, and he had even had outside sources come in to confirm that there had not been any tampering by magic or scientific means.
The Joker was dead.
Only a month after the Joker’s death, however, a new figure had appeared in Crime Alley using a combination of vigilante justice and crime boss tactics to quickly establish a firm grip over the criminal element of that part of the city. The appearance of someone using the Joker’s old name had inevitably led to another round of investigation into the Joker’s death, but Bruce had once again confirmed that yes, the Joker was very, very dead.
A few strings pulled had even seen the corpse cremated. Just in case.
The new Red Hood was very different. He kept to the Alley, he had a very strict set of rules that he expected to be followed (even if Bruce wasn’t entirely sure what all of them were), and he didn’t seem to care about Batman.
In fact, the one time Batman had managed to confront Red Hood he had been met with a snort and a flash drive thrown at his face. He had attempted to force a conversation, if not a small fight, but the man had laughed, said he was “busy” and would talk to him later, and briefly explained the content on the flash drive before pulling a Batman and disappearing into the night.
The information contained on the small device had indeed contained the information Red Hood had said it did, and Batman had been able to wrap up the applicable case in less than 48 hours, though without any further sign of Red Hood’s involvement or interest in the case.
Was Red Hood thinking of trying to work with Batman? Did he think he already was?
That had been a month ago and Bruce still had no idea.
What he did know was that the Red Hood had been active in Gotham for just over two months now, he was well-trained, well-equipped, did not appear to have any current aspirations beyond Crime Alley, was generally well-liked by the people there, and might possibly have a kid.
A kid Oracle had managed to catch on camera only twice since they were made aware of the child’s existence. His relationship to Red Hood was unclear, but they appeared to know each other, and in the one instance in which they had been seen on camera together Red Hood’s body language had been very much like that of an exasperated parent and the kid’s like a sulking child.
Also, the few people Bruce had managed to talk to in Crime Alley under some kind of alias all seemed to think Red Hood had a kid.
That had somehow led to lengthy conversations about all of Red Hood’s attributes in every single instance. The people of the Alley seemed to be quite complimentary when it came to Red Hood, especially when it came to his care for sex workers, children, and the homeless. And his thighs. Several people were very complimentary when it came to Red Hood’s thighs. And arms. And face, that none of them had actually seen. But they were, for the most part, all convinced he was quite handsome.
Bruce had sighed deeply as he had reluctantly put that little bit of information into the small file he had.
So. Possibly a parent or parental figure, was as well-liked in Crime Alley as Superman was by any of his many, many fans, and was extremely competent. And efficient.
At this point, Bruce would almost be happy to just sit down with Red Hood and discuss strategies and tactics.
And maybe whether or not Red Hood had been responsible for Black Mask’s death. But Bruce was having a little of a hard time caring about that as much as he probably should when he had gotten a full night’s sleep for the first time in probably twenty years. Not just once even, but five times in the last month.
Rogue attacks were down, a couple of the most violent offenders were dead, and Crime Alley was under the control of a vigilante crime boss who may or may not have committed murder but was also at least not doing so indiscriminately. That was good, right?
Why is it that getting a full night’s sleep left Bruce more tired than he had been before?
Murder. Right. He should probably look into that a little more.
Later.
He’d get to it eventually.
“How long is it going to take you to finish this?”
“It’s been four months, baby bat, calm down.”
“It could have been shorter if you were more competent.”
“And you could have been taller, yet here we are.”
“That was not my fault. How was I supposed to know it was set for six years instead of months?”
“I don’t know, maybe by reading the instructions.”
“Tt. As if you could have done any better.”
“Uh, yeah, I could have. That’s the exact point I’m trying to make here.”
“And my point is that you’ve been here four months and have yet to solidify your control over a pathetic bunch of miscreants who you should have been able to deal with easily.”
“There are over a hundred thousand people in Crime Alley,” Jason groaned. “You can’t honestly expect to be able to take over an area of that size with the highest crime rate in the city with the world’s highest crime rate in a couple of weeks.”
Damian scowled but eventually conceded.
“Fine,” he said, “but you should hurry up. I want to be back in the manor by Grayson’s birthday.”
“His birthday isn’t until March. It’s September.”
“Yes, well, with the speed at which you are going, it’s a necessary concern.”
“I already told you you could go now if you wanted. You don’t have to wait for me.”
“And be alone in the interrogations and realignment of family dynamics? Absolutely not.”
“Admit it, you just don’t want to be the sole recipient of Dick’s hugs.”
“Feel free to adopt a small child between now and our return. Perhaps it will distract him and Father enough to leave us in peace.”
“Not going to work, brat.”
“Tt.”
“Okay. Time for the test run.”
“Now you’re ready for a test run? What have the last four and a half months been then?”
“Relax, you little demon. Everything is settling down now, so now I can test running everything from a distance. Working remotely on occasion, if you will.”
“And why would you need to do that?”
“We’re going to be showing up to the manor without trying to kill anyone there. You honestly think we’re going to escape before the end of the year?”
Damian’s scowl and muttered insults to Jason’s abilities and intelligence indicated that Damian knew Jason was right.
Jason grinned.
Red Hood had not been seen in five days. It was the longest since his initial appearance that no one had seen or heard from him, at least according to Bruce’s limited Crime Alley sources and Oracle’s surveillance.
He really hoped something big wasn’t going down.
“This is the most idiotic plan I have ever he-”
Jason covered Damian’s mouth just as the manor’s front door opened.
“Hi, Dick,” Jason said cheerfully. “Long time no see.”
Dick just stared at Jason, then at Damian, and then at Jason again.
Jason, knowing exactly how the next few hours (or days) of his life would be going unless he took preventative measures, launched into a veritable list of identity checks and answers that someone unfamiliar with speedsters might not be able to follow.
He then proceeded to drag both Damian and Dick toward the entrance to the Cave. He really just wanted to get this part over with.
Ninety minutes wasn’t bad. Far better than it could have been.
Now, identities both checking out, Jason braced himself for the tears.
Not his favorite part of the process.
“Jason?” Bruce’s voice was scratchy and he could not take his eyes off of his son. His son that Dick assured him really was his son. Bloodwork, Superman, and Constantine-verified already.
Damian was fine with hugs, really. But he detested being so small in comparison to all of his other family members. He had just gotten a growth spurt that put him taller than Tim and now he was short. Again. It was a matter of the gravest injustice and he needed an escape route.
“Jason’s the Red Hood and it took him an entire four and a half months to take over. I believe he needs remedial training.”