Since I Got What I Wanted

by LadyWillow

Summary:

Lee Jun Ho knows how to give Woo Young Woo what she wants.

Notes:

Edited to add more explicit warning for sexual language and content

Chapter 1

Woo Young Woo bit her lip, her eyes fluttering and hands waving wildly in the air before resting on Lee Jun Ho’s head, running through his hair. She couldn’t catch a full breath, her lungs squeezed painfully tight as his hands and tongue worked their magic. She could feel the heat racing through her body as she chased that sensation of splintering into a thousand pieces of light, the breaking of a wave on the shore. It was right there - just out of reach…

He did something - added some pressure, changed the angle - Young Woo was never able to predict what would work, but Jun Ho seemed to know, as if he had studied nothing else but what would give her the most pleasure, while holding her as long as possible at the moment before. She gasped his name as she came, as he coaxed her through the shuddering aftershocks, as he moved up the bed to curl behind her, cradling her against his chest and murmuring love in her ear.

“Tighter,” she sighed.

She was almost asleep when he nudged her, one hand moving up to cup her breast.

“So that’s all you need? Since you got what you wanted?” He teased, as his hand began to wander and caress.

She kept her eyes closed, but could not keep her lips from curving into a satisfied smirk.

“You wore me out.” She yawned deliberately, then huffed out a giggled scream when he rolled on top of her and settled between her legs.

“Feel free to go to sleep while I get what I want, then.” He moved against her, groaning when the heat of her body welcomed him.

She smiled up at him, eyes like stars on the ocean depths. “Are you ready to hang up, Jun Ho?” And gasped when he pushed her knee up and opened her more fully to him.

“I’ll let you know when I am ready,” he promised with a wicked light in his eyes.

It was a long time before Young Woo slept.

Chapter 2: Where the Whales are

When Woo Young Woo’s eyes grew wide and bright with a new way to look at a problem, Lee Jun Ho was mesmerized by her intensity. She seemed to be transported to a place he could not follow. She had once told him that she was surrounded by whales, heard their song.

He could not see the whales Young Woo saw. But sometimes he could swear he heard the faint echo of their song, felt the mist of their blow on his face. When they made love, she would whisper to him of whales.

When it was fun and light, when they cuddled and teased and laughed, she saw dolphins dancing across waves on their back flippers, spinning and leaping in the sunlight. He could hear their blithe joy in her squealed giggles.

When it was intense and rushed, a little mean with the bite of passion, when he left his caution behind and took her, she saw orcas, dangerous and sleek and ferociously beautiful. She would cry out as she came, her body contorting as if in pain, but cling to him and kiss his face.

When it was slow and delicious, and they kissed without coming up for breath for hours, he thought of sperm whales swimming far beneath the surface of the ocean. They would make love with little thought of food or work or other people – dark and leisurely, with no distractions but each other’s body, each other’s pleasure.

Sometimes, she would say something unexpected, or show him she was thinking of him, and the flood of love was so big, so all-encompassing, it was like the heartbeat of a blue whale. Everything slowed down and expanded, and it always shook him to his core.

He wanted her to feel that she, a narwhal, belonged to him, to his beluga pod, but that was beyond his power. He knew he could only offer her all the safety and the love that was possible. So he thought of her, and he listened for the whalesong in her voice and watched for the tell-tale blow as whales breeched in the waters of their life, so that he would know when to pamper and when to soothe and when to push and when to just be with her.

He would never see the whales Woo Young Woo saw. But he could intuit their presence in knowing and loving her.

Chapter 3: A Gift to Grow On

Notes:

These scenes are not in order - just posting as they come to me.

Woo Young Woo glanced at Lee Jun Ho’s face before looking at his outstretched hand and the small box he held out to her. His cheeks were flushed and his lips slick, as if he had licked them nervously before greeting her.

“Here. I wanted to give this to you.” He cleared his throat, cheeks getting redder.

She took the box and opened it, curious. This was the second gift he had given her – the first being the light projector that made the room look as if it was underwater. This, though, this was…

“It’s a vibrator,” he rushed to explain as she stared up at him in shock. “I wanted you to… I thought you should… before we did anything more…”

More than kissing, he meant. Which she guessed might mean he wanted to do more than kissing.

She looked again at the box. It was not discreet: bright colours and the words Dolphin and Vibrator in both English and Hangul, with a picture of a neon blue vibrator and roughly dolphin-shaped appendage which, Young Woo assumed, was meant to stimulate the clitoris.

She stared at her boyfriend, who was looking embarrassed but defiant. He cleared his throat again.

“I didn’t know how much… experience you had… and I want you to know what you like before…” His voice was gaining confidence, as Young Woo seemed more surprised than horrified.

She ducked her head to avoid laughing in his face. She really did appreciate the thought, and she knew he meant it very sincerely. Still, this just confirmed how often people under-estimated her maturity, due to her diminutive size and her autism; many continued to treat her as a child even when they should have known better.

She couldn’t blame him too much; Jun Ho had had to teach her to kiss, after all. But that was an activity that really was best with two; she had discovered masturbation on her own when she was 11 and began menstruation. Her father handled the sex education basics, but she researched more herself in books and online, which had led her to all kinds of other information. It wasn’t long before she perfected pleasuring herself most nights before sleep. Even more after learning how to kiss with Jun Ho.

They were on the street outside of her house, but tucked away where her father was unlikely to see them, so she opened the box and took out the toy. It was longer than she had expected, and very textured, she discovered as she ran it through her hands. Jun Ho audibly swallowed when it began to buzz and vibrate.

“I made sure it had batteries…”

He was so red in the face now, she briefly worried for his heart, which she could tell was beating very fast. His eyes were dark and glazed, and she placed the hand with the still buzzing toy in it against his chest as she moved in for a kiss.

He stifled a groan and gentled his lips against hers.

Oh no, she thought, that would not do.

“Thank you for the gift, Jun Ho,” she breathed against his neck. “I will enjoy trying this out. Tonight, when you are home…”

He held her a little closer and tried to steady his breathing.

“…keep your phone close to your bed. I might need to… talk with you.”

She kissed his burning cheek, boxed up the toy, and turned to skip up the stairs to her room.

Jun Ho could barely make his legs move. But they got him back to his place in record time, nonetheless.

Chapter 4: In the Heat of the Night

Lee Jun Ho lay on his bed, lights and music turned down low, waiting impatiently for Woo Young Woo to call.

He wondered if she would change her usual night routine to experiment with his gift. He tried hard not to imagine what she was doing with the neon blue vibrator he had given her earlier that day.

He couldn’t help but imagine what she was doing, and the images made him ache.

He hadn’t really thought it through, he admitted. Buying condoms, more in hope than in need, he had seen the dolphin-shaped toy and bought it on impulse, knowing Young Woo would find it amusing. It wasn’t until he got home that he really thought about the implications, and since then he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about them.

They hadn’t talked about having sex. They hadn’t talked about lots of things – he had realized that when Young Woo told her father they weren’t in a relationship. And then she had broken up with him, and they had worked their way back to each other and a better understanding, if a little new and uneasy.

And still they hadn’t talked about sex. Even when they kissed each other breathless, and he couldn’t sleep for wanting her, and she had confessed to thinking about him before she went to sleep, they hadn’t said the words, “I want to make love with you.” Or “I want to have sex with you.” Or “I want to fuck you blind.”

And he was learning that Young Woo needed words. More, she needed the right words, every time.

So – the toy seemed like a way to start that conversation.

He nearly dropped his phone when it vibrated with her ring tone. He didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed that it was an audio call and not video. He answered and heard her small, strained voice say his name.

“Young Woo? Are you all right?”

Her voice quivered as she whispered, “Good. So good.”

Jun Ho licked his dry lips and said hoarsely, “So good, jagiya? How do you feel?”

Young Woo moaned, and his body strummed like a plucked string in response.

“I feel… so hot… so wet… like I’m in the ocean…” her voice faded, and she whined a little over the sound of the vibrator.

He shuddered, stroking himself in time to her gasps.

“What are you…” she stopped speaking and cried out softly.

He swore under his breath. “Will you come for me, aegi?”

“Yes.”

He could almost see her, head flung back, neck stretched tight as she climaxed, keening. He was only a few moments behind her, groaning her name.

They were both breathing hard, and it took Jun Ho a moment to find the video button on his phone. She answered after two rings, her eyes dark and wide, cheeks flushed, mouth wet. Her phone trembled in her shaking hand.

“You look beautiful,” he blurted out, still panting. He rolled over onto his stomach and propped the phone against the pillow.

Young Woo said shyly, “So do you.”

Neither knew quite what else to say, so for a minute, they just smiled into each other’s face on screen. Then Young Woo looked towards her door, startled, and hissed, “It’s my father! Good night, Jun Ho!”

The screen went black, and Jun Ho laughed as he texted: Good night, jagiya. Dream sweet.

A few minutes of blinking bubbles, then a reply: Sleep well, aein.

That night, it was Jun Ho’s turn to dream of dolphins leaping in the sun, water droplets flying off their sleek bodies.

Chapter 5: In the Cool of the Day

Woo Young Woo felt oddly vulnerable after sharing her sexual experiment with Lee Jun Ho, not sure how to face him at work the next day. On her commute, though, Jun Ho texted her: he would be out of the office for two days collecting case evidence, so by the time they finally met in the lunchroom, her shyness was swept away in her delight at seeing him.

She smiled widely and sat down across from him, reaching across the table for a moment to clasp his hand and squeeze it.

“Attorney Woo,” he always greeted her formally in the workplace, even though most people knew about their relationship. “It’s good to see you. I missed having lunch with you. In fact, the last few days, I’ve missed lunch altogether.”

She looked at him more closely, “You look tired, Jun Ho. You hardly ever look tired.”

He smiled at her. “I haven’t been sleeping very well. How are you?”

He took a sip of his drink as he spoke, and she watched, mesmerized, as he licked the whipped cream off his upper lip, as his throat muscles flexed when he swallowed. Her face felt flushed and hot, and her tongue darted out to touch her own lips in response, lingering as if tasting him.

His eyes darkened, and the muscle in his cheek jumped as he stared, his hand clenching. “Young Woo,” he whispered.

She waved her hand at him, in the “whoa, whoa” gesture Attorney Jung had taught her. “We’re at work,” she hissed. But her voice was weak and uncertain.

“I can’t stop thinking about you. About the other night. I can’t sleep… at least tell me you feel the same way.”

She ducked her head, embarrassed and turned on by the intensity of his voice. She nodded briefly, and he closed his eyes, shuddering out a breath.

“Let’s… go for a walk. Get some fresh air.”

“You should eat,” she demurred.

“I’d rather spend time with you.”

Kissing her, he meant. He’d rather kiss her – maybe do more – than eat. Young Woo jerked her head in agreement, and they left the lunchroom.

They made it to a small, enclosed garden before she was in his arms, her mouth seeking his hungrily. Suddenly, she was no longer embarrassed – she was famished, longing for his heat, his taste. His mouth opened on hers, tongue exploring and coaxing a response. She wondered what that tongue would feel like on her body, and she moaned, lost in the imagining. She could feel him, hard and insistent, grinding against her, feel the frenzied beat of his heart against her hand when she stroked his neck.

Time disappeared into an endless chant of now, now, now, yes, yes, yes.

He groaned, trailing kisses down her throat, his hands stroking warm skin beneath her tidy jacket and silky blouse, breathing out her name, then pressing his forehead against hers.

Young Woo panted, her eyes wild and hands trembling. “I… have a meeting. I’ve got to go…”.

He nodded, helping tidy her clothes, and combing his fingers through her disordered hair. “I know.”

She put her hands on his cheeks and pressed her mouth to his quickly. “After work? Will you walk me home?”

He nodded, cradling her hands for a moment against his face before stepping back. “After work. I’ll come to your office. No,” he corrected himself, “I’ll meet you downstairs, at the doors.”

She nodded and took a deep breath. She was going to need a few minutes in the washroom with cold water and a strong reminder about appropriate workplace behaviour.

Chapter 6: A Night to Remember

Lee Jun Ho watched the elevator doors as he turned off his phone, relieved. Kwon Min Woo could be an ass, but when it mattered, his roommate stepped up. He’d agreed to stay out for the night, and Jun Ho thought the apartment should be tidy enough. He doubted Woo Young Woo would be interested in a guided tour or snacks, anyway…

He bit his lower lip uncertainly. Should he take her for dinner, though? Should he have planned a date? Wasn’t it kind of disrespectful to plan a hookup with the woman he was falling in love with?

His heart stuttered when the doors opened, and she counted her way off the elevator along with a crowd of co-workers. Jun Ho greeted Young Woo and they waited while others streamed through the revolving doors, before they moved together in their peculiar waltz, stepping successfully onto the street.

He flanked her on the street side, and opened the door of the cab he hailed, and directed the driver to his address. His hand crept across the seat and touched her little finger, and she did not pull away or start counting in her head. He could feel heat pooling between them just at that point where their fingers touched, and he was startled when the cab stopped at his street.

The overheads lit the corridor to his apartment, clicking off moments after they passed. He felt as if they were being drawn towards his door until he was fumbling with his keys and counting her in ahead of him.

The earlier urgency and passion seemed to have dissolved into uncertainty and nerves. Young Woo watched him intently, as if trying to respond to his cues. He knew he wasn’t giving her the right ones, but his heartbeat and his breathing felt out of sync. He couldn’t think of a way to ease her into the next step. In fact, he couldn’t quite imagine the next step.

“Would you like a drink…,” he started to offer beer or soju, even wine, as he would have with any other woman he brought to his apartment. But this was Young Woo, and she didn’t drink. “Water? Or I could make tea?”

Young Woo stepped close to him, her hands reaching to his shoulders. He automatically leaned down a little to make it more comfortable for her, and she moved one hand to his neck, making him shudder.

“Jun Ho,” she whispered, “Don’t you want to kiss me?”

She was so small and so sweet and he was so desperately in love with her and she smelled so good…

His arms wrapped around her and his mouth touched hers and it was like lighting a match to kindling – she moaned as her head fell back and her mouth opened a little more and she closed her eyes and tightened her arms behind his neck and it was so good. Kissing her was so good.

He wasn’t sure who moved which way, but they were at the door of his bedroom and then they were on his bed and clothes were being shoved out of the way and pulled off heated skin and then they were both mostly naked and panting and he suddenly realized things were moving too fast… too fast…

“Young Woo…” he curled his hands around her cheeks and rested his forehead on hers, his breathing harsh. “We can slow down. You can tell me what you want, what you like…”

Teach me, he wanted to say. Tell me how to please you.

Young Woo moved restlessly against him, running her fingers through his hair. “Don’t slow down. Show me what I like.”

I trust you, she was saying. I trust you to help me figure it out.

“If I do anything… anything… that doesn’t feel good or you want me to stop, tell me. Anything, Young Woo, any time.” He pressed his lips against her fluttering eyelids. “Tell me.”

She moved against him in implicit agreement and kissed his mouth. “Don’t slow down,” she repeated.

He groaned and kissed her throat: slow, open-mouthed kisses that branded her skin. She squirmed against him, her whispered moans coaxing him down her body to her breasts, to her stomach, then teasingly between her thighs. She stiffened, head back, and he stopped.

“Good. So good,” she moaned, but he licked his way back up her body and kissed her, sucking her whimpers into his mouth.

It felt right to pull her onto his body, to let her lead the final act, and he nearly lost his mind as she bit her lip while putting the condom on him, while finding a comfortable way to fit her body with his. Her sigh when they came together set him on fire, but everything stopped when she put her hands over her ears and flung her head back again as she rode him, finding that sweet spot that lit up the sky for her.

He came in the final shudders of her climax, his hands wrapped around the headboard in an effort not to cage her body with his, not to bruise her delicate skin.

He wanted to devour her whole.

She slid down, boneless and already nearly asleep, and after he cleaned up, he tucked her against him, her back against his chest, hugging her tightly, his lips against her neck.

“Stay,” he breathed.

“Yes,” she murmured.

Chapter 7: Reaction Shots from Friends and Family

Notes:

Just a little palate cleanser between steamier scenes!

Kwon Min Woo had been out most of the night, as promised, but he hoped it was safe to sneak home and raid the kitchen. He wished Lee Jun Ho well, he really did, but he kind of hoped this thing with Woo Young Woo would burn itself out quickly. He was not thrilled by the idea of dealing with her at home as well as at work.

He nearly jumped when the kitchen light came on and a sleepy Young Woo stood blinking at him, wearing little but a t-shirt he recognized as Jun Ho’s and a self-conscious flush.

She bowed awkwardly, “Attorney Kwon. Good morning.”

He turned away to avoid staring at her long legs and bare feet. “Morning, Attorney Woo.”

Well, wasn’t this ridiculous? What was he supposed to say? ‘Did you have a nice evening?’ ‘Am I too early?’ Damnit – this was his house! He shouldn’t be the one feeling weirded out by this, should he?

“I was wondering… I just wanted some water.” Young Woo stepped towards the fridge, but Min Woo opened the door, grabbed her a bottle and twisted off the cap, holding it out to her without making eye contact. Even on her, that t-shirt was short.

“Thank you,” she murmured, taking a tiny sip, and turning to leave the kitchen.

A half-naked, half-asleep Jun Ho stepped behind Young Woo at that moment, banding his arms around her, and dropping his head onto her shoulder.

“You left,” he muttered.

“Yes. I was coming back,” she said soothingly, as she walked away, Jun Ho trailing her.

Kwon Min Woo rolled his eyes and poured a shot of whiskey. He was going to have to find a new place to live.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Woo Gwang Ho woke up irritated with himself and with his daughter Woo Young Woo. She had not come home the night before, and while he was willing to admit she was a grown woman who did not need to check in with her father, he would think filial decency, not to mention common courtesy, would mean she owed him more than a cursory text: Staying with a friend. See you tomorrow.

“Friend, my ass,” he fumed as he opened the shop. “It’s that punk from Hanbada. She’s been sneaking around with him for months. No respect, these kids. She hasn’t even introduced him to me.”

Even as his anger grew, he heard Young Woo’s voice in his memory, “Am I the kind of person who can make him happy? Won’t I make him lonely?”

He didn’t want Young Woo to be lonely. He wanted her to be happy and fulfilled in her life, not just her career – maybe married and with children. He had never thought it could happen, but maybe this Lee Jun Ho would the one to make that not-quite-dream come true.

But the disrespect chafed.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“You slept with him? Wildwoman Woo – you are my idol!” Dong Ge Rami glowed with the news. “Tell me everything! Start at the beginning…”

Chapter 8: A Bump in the Night

Notes:

I am so sorry - some plot accidentally got in here! How did that happen?

Lee Jun Ho grabbed Woo Young Woo’s arm as she swept past him, just enough to slow her down and swing her around to face him.

“Don’t be angry with me,” he said. “It was time to do it. Well past time.”

“You had no right - no right - to do it without me.” Young Woo’s eyes filled, and her voice shook. “I can’t believe you went behind my back…”

“I didn’t go behind your back. I told you I was going to talk to him…”

“And I told you I didn’t want you to. Not yet.”

Jun Ho stood firm. “Then when, jagiya?”

Young Woo turned away, refusing to answer.

He sighed. “I didn’t really plan it. I was walking past, and the shop was empty…”

And he had stepped in and introduced himself to Woo Gwang Ho. To her father. And it had gone… about as well as could be expected.

And then Young Woo had seen him coming out of the gimbap shop and here they were: on the sidewalk outside her house, tucked away from prying eyes.

She muttered something under her breath, and when he asked her to repeat herself said mutinously, “It’s not like you’ve told your parents about us.”

“I have,” he shot back. “I’ve told them about you, and I’ve sent them photos of us.”

He had also sent them information about autism, so that they would not make the same hurtful assumptions his sister had.

Young Woo reared back, looking betrayed. “Why would you do that without talking to me about it?”

“Because you wouldn’t talk about it,” he burst out, frustrated and angry and a little afraid. The last time she had looked at him like that, she had broken his heart with a casual word and walked away.

“What are you afraid of? Are you ashamed of us… of me? Do you not want people to know we are together – that I love you? Because I love you, Attorney Woo.” In his passion, he reverted to the formal address he often used. “And I want to be with you. And nothing and no one is going to change that…”

Except you, he managed not to say. You could change that with one word.

He wanted to wrap his arms around her and hold onto her so she couldn’t fade into thin air as he was beginning to fear she would. But he knew she would fight his touch, so he stood, hands open, waiting for her.

“Ashamed? I’m not ashamed,” she spat at him. “I am…” he eyes flickered as she searched for the word, “I’m... afraid.”

He eased a step back, sick at the thought that he had frightened her.

She shook her head and moved closer, touching his arm. “Not of you. Never. Of them.”

She glanced at her house, then back at him, although she did not meet his eyes. “I’m afraid that someone will make you see sense, remind you that I am autistic Young Woo, that you should be with someone normal, someone you don't have to take care of…”

Grinning in relief, Jun Ho stepped fully into her space, wrapping his arms around her waist, and kissing her firmly. Their lips clung together, the passion that always simmered just below the surface boiling over quickly. Then he rested his forehead on hers and said, “Sometimes, smart as you are, you say the dumbest things, my Young Woo.”

A wry voice sounded over their heads, “Good. Now that is settled, perhaps you two could come inside, and we can have an adult discussion?”

Chapter 9: Searching for the Whales

They were cuddled up together on the couch, a movie playing in the background, its soundtrack swelling and ebbing through the action scenes. Lee Jun Ho dozed, arms loose around Woo Young Woo, who was tucked against him, her legs over his lap. In the flickering light of the screen, she stared at him, tracing his features with a fingertip held a few centimetres away from his warm skin. She could feel his breath against her cheek, the beat of his heart beneath her ribs.

She pressed her open mouth to that point just under his jaw where the pulse throbbed in his throat, and tasted him, salt and spice and sweet blending together on her tongue. He made a complicated sound, and she stopped. When his breathing evened out, she sought that spot again before tracing his throat, his cheek, his nose, with her mouth, with the tip of her tongue.

The noise he made was more complicated this time – deeper and needier. With her thumbs stroking his cheekbones, she touched her lips to his, still tasting, exploring flavour and texture. She felt his rise to consciousness as he woke under her mouth, and in her mind, she heard the breeching of a whale as his desire met hers. She moved to straddle him, trapped his hands with her knees, and opened her mouth to deepen the kiss.

Still half-asleep, he made that complicated noise in his throat again – the one that spoke of urgency and no thought at all. She didn’t want him thinking – working out how to serve, how to please her. This time she wanted to give it all to him and keep nothing for herself. She deepened the kiss but kept it dreamy and slow.

Dazed, he muttered her name, but submitted to her lead. She kissed him again and again – light, inquisitive kisses that tantalized but did not satisfy – keeping him on the edge between dream and desire. She took her time stripping away clothes, exploring and tasting bared skin, until he sighed and shuddered – drowning, helpless in the bubble she had created for them.

When she finally took him into her body, he groaned, head back, lost in the wonder. She gave him everything she had, and then more, and when he came, moaning her name, she let herself dive into the flashing light that signalled her own climax.

They lay cuddled up together on the couch, sweaty, panting, naked bodies shaking as they cooled, lips clinging as they kissed and murmured words of love and satisfaction.

Jun Ho ran a hand carefully through her hair. “That was…,” he blew out a shaky breath. “That was… amazing.”

Young Woo smiled as she curled against him. “I wanted to show you. How you make me feel. I wanted to show you the whales,” she confided.

He smiled. “I heard the whales. Just for a moment.”

She nodded, “They don’t stay long.” She kissed his mouth lightly. “But they are always there, waiting for us.”

Chapter 10: Star-crossed

The trip had been an unmitigated disaster from the beginning.

The Hanbada car Lee Jun Ho drove was low on gasoline, and when he filled up, some splashed on his shoe, and the smell gave Woo Young Woo a terrible headache.

There was an accident on the highway on their way to Sodeok-dong, so they were more than two hours late for their meeting with the townsfolk, which simply gave them the opportunity for ever-more elaborate preparations. Young Woo, still suffering from the effects of the gas, was not receptive to their banquet complete with singing and dancing. She hadn’t eaten much – a little rice and some fruit – and looked pale and exhausted. He just wanted to get her settled as quickly as possible.

And now, they were in the only hotel room available: a room with only one bed.

It wasn’t really a problem, Jun Ho told himself. It was just such a cliché: oh no! There was only one bed! What will the intrepid young couple do? Obviously, he would take the floor.

But when he came into the room with their overnight bags to find Young Woo determinedly setting up a space on the floor, he had to hold onto his temper with both hands.

“Attorney Woo! What are you doing? Take the bed, please.”

She ignored him, holding out her hand for her bag, and disappearing into the washroom. He put the blanket and pillows back on the bed.

By the time he came out of the bathroom, she was, predictably enough, back on the floor.

“Lee Jun Ho – did you just growl at me?” Young Woo’s eyes were wide as the moon, which was by now bathing the room in soft light.

He didn’t answer, just scooped her off the floor and deposited her on the bed, pulling the bedclothes over her and tucking her in firmly. Then he put one hand on her forehead and pushed. Hard.

“Lie down and go to sleep.”

Yes, it came out as more of a growl than he had planned. But it seemed to work, as Young Woo lay quiet.

Until he heard muffled sobbing.

He got up off the floor and sat on the side of the bed, stroking her hair. “Why are you crying?”

“I’m not crying,” she snapped.

He trailed his hand down her cheek. “Oh, no?”

“I have a headache,” she said primly. “And my stomach hurts. And I don’t want to be here.”

That broke his heart a little, but he crawled in behind her, snugging her back up against his chest, wrapping his arms around her. “Is that better?”

He could feel her body relax a little, but her voice was still stiff when she replied, “Yes. Thank you.”

“I just want you to be able to sleep, jagiya.”

“I sleep better when I am with you,” she whispered softly. “Or in my own bed,” she added.

He laughed. “I know. Should I stay here tonight?”

She yawned and nodded. And slept.

Chapter 11: As the Sun Rose

Lee Jun Ho opened his eyes to the sun’s rays, Woo Young Woo wrapped in his arms, her face tucked into his shoulder.

He couldn’t believe he had lost his temper with Young Woo the day before. He was careful always to make her feel safe and protected with him. He never wanted to see fear or hurt in her eyes, especially not because of him.

But she could frustrate the hell out of him without even meaning to. She was so used to taking less than her due, to assuming that other people’s wants and needs were more important than hers. It drove him crazy when other people didn’t value her. How could he not feel angry when she didn’t value herself?

As if she heard him thinking, Young Woo muttered, and he automatically loosened his hold on her. Don’t cage her, don’t restrict her, don’t hold on so tight she couldn’t get away when she had to…

Always be careful. Always be in control.

But she snuggled in closer, held onto him tighter, breathing his name a whisper’s distance from his lips.

He covered her mouth with his, intending to be gentle, but all the frustration of the day before rose as her body yielded to his, and before he knew it, the kiss became more demanding and she was on her back and he was rising above her, pinning her under him as his caresses grew wild.

His conscience was whispering take care, and his body was screaming take it all.

Then she moaned and opened to him, and his mind simply shut down, and he was filling her, deep and hard and fast, heart pounding so loudly he couldn’t hear her shocked gasp. The need was so big, so fierce, it blocked out all thought and he lost control, moving without thought, without care until he poured himself into her while she shuddered and clenched around him.

For a moment, he thought he had gone blind and deaf – as if he were submerged in deep water. Then all sensation came flooding back. He could hear her now – breath squeaking in and out as she struggled beneath his larger frame. With an effort, he rolled onto his back, pulling her limp body against him.

He swore under his breath as he tried to steady his breathing. “Are you ok? Young Woo?”

“Mmm. Ok.” Her voice was muffled against his skin.

“I’m so sorry. I am so sorry. I should have…” taken better care of you. Cherished you. Looked after you.

Young Woo sat up, flushed and panting. He cursed himself again when he saw the marks on her neck. He didn’t even remember biting her.

“Why are you sorry? Did you not enjoy it?”

“No… I mean… yes. Of course I did. But you…”

Young Woo leaned forward and looked Jun Ho in the eye, something he knew she did reluctantly.

“Did I say no? Did I tell you to stop?”

He shook his head, ashamed. She should never have to say no to him. He should know better…

She sighed. “I am not a child, Jun Ho. Nor am I as innocent as you think. If I didn’t stop you from doing something, I probably was enjoying it. And if I wanted you to stop and you didn’t,” she clenched a fist and shook it under his nose, “I have ways of making you stop.”

He couldn’t help but laugh at her fierceness, but some lingering guilt remained.

“I don’t want you to have to… defend yourself against me. Even though I know you can!” he added hastily as she raised her hand again. “I just… never want you to be afraid of me.”

She curled down beside him again, her naked body warm against his. “I have never been afraid of you, jagiya. With you, I can be brave in ways I’ve never been before.”

Chapter 12: The Sun to my Moon

Attorney Woo Young Woo watched Lee Jun Ho performing with Kwon Min Woo. Hanbada Law Firm had won another big case, and Attorney Jang, who had insisted everyone celebrate together at karaoke, was in the corner of the room talking at Choi Su Yeon, who looked bored and annoyed.

It didn’t surprise Young Woo that Jun Ho could sing and dance. She sometimes thought he could do anything he set out to do. She watched all the other women in the room watch him, giggling behind their hands and trying to catch his eye.

Kwon Min Woo was playing to the crowd and studiously ignoring Choi Su Yeon. As the men finished their song and dance routine, the crowd rushed the stage and congratulated them before the next singer took the mic.

Young Woo gathered up her things, intending to slip out quietly. The noise and lights made her nauseous, and she had only stayed to see Jun Ho perform. He was surrounded by co-workers, and Young Woo hid a smile as she saw Attorney Kwon stomp over to rescue Choi Su Yeon from the increasingly drunk and inappropriate Attorney Jang.

She stepped out into the cool dark and sighed in relief, but before she had gone far, she heard Jun Ho. “Attorney Woo! Wait for me.”

She shook her head. “You didn’t have to leave – I can get home by myself.”

“I don’t want you to. Won’t you come to my place for tea?”

“Your fans will be sorry to see you leave.”

“You don’t think I care about that?” He looked a little worried, and she smiled to let him know it had been a joke. Mostly.

“You didn’t sing tonight. Are you feeling all right?” Jun Ho walked close but didn’t touch her. She could feel his warmth, like the heat from the sun.

“It was loud. And too bright.”

“You should have told me – we could have left earlier.”

“I liked hearing you and Attorney Kwon sing. You dance well together.”

Jun Ho grinned. “Lots of drunken dance-off nights.”

They walked through the quiet streets, towards Jun Ho’s apartment. In the corridor, under the security light, Woo Young Woo stopped. As she had the first time, she put her hands on Jun Ho’s shoulders and turned her face up for a kiss. This time, he did not hesitate, and their teeth did not knock together. She opened her mouth and closed her eyes and floated in the sensation.

She flung her arm up to turn the light back on. “Jun Ho.”

He stepped back immediately. “Young Woo?”

“My father is…concerned.”

Jun Ho sighed. “I know. What did he say?”

She frowned and said, “You know.”

“I know what he said to me a few days ago. What did he say to you?”

“What did he say to you?”

Jun Ho waited a moment to see if this was echolalia or she was actually asking. When she didn’t repeat herself again, he said, “He wanted to know if we had any plans. For the future.”

Young Woo nodded reflectively, “Yes. He asked me that too.”

Jun Ho pulled her a little closer and ran a gentle hand over her hair. “Do you want to make plans? For the future, I mean?”

Jun Ho had a way of looking at her as if she was the answer to all his questions. It confused and frightened her, because when it came to him, she felt all question.

Could they be together, make a life together, really have a grownup relationship? She was still autistic. She still did not make her own meals or manage the home she still shared with her father. She felt competent in the office, in the courtroom, but in day-to-day life, it was just easier to let others look after her, guide her. Was that fair to Jun Ho?

On the other hand, she was not a child. She was an adult in an adult relationship. And Jun Ho had said he wanted to be with her.

Her, Woo Young Woo, straight or flipped.

“I don’t think we should live together,” she blurted out, and blushed as Jun Ho’s face went blank.

“I… see,” he started, but she interrupted him quickly, pulling a small box out of her pocket, where it had been a weight against her.

“I think… we should get married, Lee Jun Ho.”

She opened the box to show the ring she had chosen for him – wide, plain, platinum.

Eyes wide, he stared at her for a moment, not moving. Then instead of reaching out, he put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a small box. When he opened it, she saw a small, narrow band with opals inset in platinum.

“I think… we should get married, Woo Young Woo.”

Chapter 13: And the Whales Sing Us Home

It was a small gathering.

Kwon Min Woo stood with the groom. Geu Rami accompanied Woo Young Woo, who did not wear a white gown that felt like it was made of labels, but a red hanbok-inspired suit.

Jun Ho’s sister, Lee Seung Hui, was cordial, as was his brother-in-law, Jeong Nam; the Lee parents were kind and welcoming, as interested in their daughter’s pregnancy as their son’s wedding.

Woo Gwang Ho cried slow fat tears throughout the ritual as he made the opening speech and officiated the couple’s vows.

Tae Su Mi had not been invited, but Choi Sang Hyeon came in quietly through a back door and slipped out once the ceremony was over and the married couple was being congratulated. Woo Young Woo saw him but said nothing.

A few people from Hanbada joined the families at Kim Min Shik’s bar for a feast of his best dishes, including a special plate of kimbap reserved for the bride. Jung Myeong Seok gave a sentimental speech of congratulations to the bride and groom. Gwang Ho had to loan him a handkerchief.

Lee Jun Ho and Woo Young Woo bowed formally to each parent in turn and accepted their blessings before escaping into the night. The sky was filled with stars, and Woo Young Woo took the first deep breath in what seemed like days.

“I’m sorry,” she said abruptly.

Lee Jun Ho, who had been walking in a dream, said, “What? Why?”

“I think you would have liked a bigger celebration. I am sorry I could not manage it.”

“We’ve talked about this. You don’t need to apologize. I wanted to marry you. I don’t care what that looks like. This…” he turned and squeezed her hands briefly, “This, with our friends and family, was perfect.”

He kissed her on the cheek. “With you, everything is perfect.”

“I should have worn white,” she continued to worry. “You fell in love with me in a bridal gown.”

He winced. He had made a mistake telling her about that moment in the bridal store, seeing her in the white dress and veil, and feeling like something had struck him hard in the chest.

It had seemed a cute story at the time.

“Jagiya, I didn’t fall in love with the pretty gown. I fell in love with you, Attorney Woo Young Woo.”

She shrugged. “I know that.” Her hands were stiffly twisting in a way he recognized. “But Lee Seung Hui said…”

He stopped walking and growled, “What did she say this time?”

Young Woo stopped and turned to him when she realized he wasn’t beside her anymore. Her eyes widened when she saw the temper flare in his eyes.

“No, no! She didn’t say… it wasn’t bad, Jun Ho. She just told me about her wedding dress… and the hanbok for her paebaek… it just… it sounded nice, that’s all.”

Lee Jun Ho remembered his sister’s event-of-the-year wedding with very little pleasure.

“It wasn’t nice,” he said bluntly. “It was showy and pretentious and far too expensive.”

“Ah. I see.” Young Woo turned back to continue the way they had been going.

Jun Ho didn’t follow her.

“Woo Young Woo.”

A shiver ran through her at his dark tone.

“Come here.”

She turned and moved back to him.

He rarely caged her in or held her tightly. It was instinctive to give her as much control as possible. But this – he needed his arms around her so there was no possibility of escape. This she needed to hear, and to understand, and, as much as possible, to fully accept.

“Young Woo. We had a wedding ceremony because it made your father happy. And made my parents happy. It even made Attorney Jung happy. And because Geu Rami would have kicked my ass if we hadn’t made this formal.”

Her lips quirked at the mention of Geu Rami, and he bent to kiss her firmly.

“But we didn’t need any of that. When I told you I liked you – that my stomach hurt with liking you – as far as I was concerned, we were married from that time on. All this – red dress or white, cherry blossoms or roses, abalone porridge or meat noodles – none of it matters. All that matters is you and me going home together. Being together. Husband and wife. Yeobo.”

Tears flooded her eyes and ran down her cheeks. He brushed them away with his thumbs and kissed her eyes, her cheeks, her lips.

“No more crying. Geu Rami will take me apart if she finds out I made you cry.”

“No more crying,” she echoed and added, “Yeobo.”

She didn’t have to tell him about the whales surrounding them on their walk home. He knew they were there. He could see them in her eyes.

Chapter 14: Wedding Night

Lee Jun Ho kept his eyes on Woo Young Woo’s face, flushed and shy, as he slowly undid the bow holding her red wedding hanbok closed. It fell open to show white silk beneath, and he carefully slipped it off her shoulders, dropping it on the bed beside them as he began to undo the full skirt.

She held her breath, and he noticed her glancing at the hanbok and away.

“What is it?” He murmured.

“It is silk. It will wrinkle. If it isn’t hung up.” She shook her head, impatient with herself. “It doesn’t matter.”

He stepped back and, holding her hand to help her step out of the skirt, picked it off the floor. “Of course it matters. Should I help?”

She shook her head hurriedly. “It will only take me a moment.”

“Don’t rush. There’s no rush, jagiya.”

He watched her for a moment as she hung up the hanbok and skirt, smoothing out creases, unself-conscious in her slip and bare legs.

Their new apartment was smaller than the one he had shared with Kwon Min Woo, but the living spaces were bigger. They would grow into it. It was not yet completely set up and there were a few wedding gifts still in boxes scattered around the living room. Young Woo had been a little overwhelmed with choices about furniture and colours, but the place they had created looked like both of them, he thought.

Of all the things that suited the space the best, though, the crown was Young Woo herself. She looked contented and at peace, if a little flushed at the moment.

“Thank you – I’m sorry for stopping…”

Jun Ho wrapped a gentle hand around her arm. “You need to stop apologizing for telling me what you need. I may get it wrong if I try to guess. It’s better if you tell me.”

She nodded yes, but he could still see the uncertainty in her eyes, the fear that he would not always be so patient or accommodating. He could only stay steadfast until she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she could trust him. It would not be the work of a month or two, but of a lifetime.

He had thought about little else all the time he had been working with her, getting closer to her, falling a little more in love with her. All those days between “I like you” and “Let’s not break up.” The misery of “It’s hard to love me” and the hope of “But you are going to do it anyway?” The disbelief of friends and family, even those who knew Woo Young Woo, who knew him. Even those who knew – should have known – his loyalty once committed. And still they had questioned him. Had doubted them.

He reached for Young Woo’s hand impulsively, “I love you. You know I love you, don’t you?”

She glanced up at him and away. “Yes. I know you love me. And I love you.”

He touched his lips to hers and murmured, “Then trust me.”

“Always.”

It was not their first time, of course. They had been intimate many times by now. But this was the first time he was kissing his wife, his buin, and the heat of that reality burned in his body. It was slow and deep and he could feel her trembling as they moved to the bed, clothes dropping like leaves to the floor.

The heat grew as he kissed down her body, firm touches and fluttering tongue and her hands clenched in his hair. When they finally joined together, his throat closed up with unspoken words – too much to say, too many emotions to process – and he stopped moving to simply hold her, his face tucked against her throat.

“Jun Ho?” She wrapped her arms around him tightly, the way he did for her sometimes when she was feeling anxious. “Are you… is everything…?”

He raised himself up to take some of his weight off her and smiled reassuringly, noticing her worried look. “I am just so happy to be with you. My wife. My Woo Young Woo.” And he began to move again until she closed her eyes with the pleasure, until her breath caught and she began to moan, until she fell apart in his arms and he followed her.

They lay together, wrapped in each other’s embrace, her still quivering, him warm and drowsy. He pulled a blanket over her and kissed her cheek, her forehead, her lips.

“This is the first time. For the first time, I didn’t see the whales.” Young Woo said quietly.

He glanced down at her with concern. “You didn’t see them? Or hear them?”

She shook her head. “All I saw – all I heard – was you, Jun Ho. Yeobo.”

Chapter 15: When the Wanting Comes

They really hadn’t talked about it.

Lee Jun Ho realized that perhaps he had just assumed that a dedicated attorney, who spent long hours at work and was devoted to her law practice, would not think of having a baby.

Never mind Woo Young Woo’s neurodivergence – obviously people with autism could have babies. They had been doing it for generations. But he had thought – not thought. Assumed – that she would not want to risk it. Babies were too unpredictable. And often smelly. And definitely needy, with their own ever-changing schedule. None of these things seemed like a good match for a self-aware woman who knew what she needed to keep her life as manageable as possible.

But then his sister had her baby, and they visited with gifts for the mother and child and sincere congratulations for the bemused and overwhelmed father.

Jun Ho handled the baby easily – he had been honorary uncle to many young cousins and friends’ children, and he cooed and talked to the infant girl as if born to the role. Unlike his brother-in-law, who held his infant daughter as if someone had handed him a ticking bomb. Who was scared to death every time someone moved with the baby in their arms.

Driving back from the airport after visiting Jeju Island, Jun Ho could see Young Woo had that gleam in her eye. He knew she liked to watch him drive. But there was something else in her speculative look tonight, and he wondered how long it would take her to find words for these feelings.

“You are good with babies,” she said suddenly.

“I’m comfortable with them. Babies and little kids seem to like me.” He kept his response neutral, waiting to see where she went with this.

“Everyone seems to like you,” she answered, matter-of-factly.

He allowed himself a small grin that slipped into a grimace. That comment had two edges to it. He knew that Young Woo sometimes still felt as if she couldn’t be enough for him. She didn’t say it often, but he knew she worried about it, especially after they visited his family or his university friends.

“I only need you to like me.”

She twitched with annoyance, as if to say she hadn’t been looking for reassurance, but he reached out to squeeze her hand anyway.

“What did you think about our niece?” He wanted to deflect her from the general topic of babies to this one in particular. She had held her for only a few moments before Jeong Nam had panicked and taken her back. The baby had hardly had time to squirm. Young Woo had not seemed to mind either way, but it could be hard to read her expression when she was concentrating on masking.

“She looks like her father. Which seems rather unfair, since Seung Hui eonni did all the work.”

Jun Ho laughed. “She does look like him, doesn’t she?”

Young Woo continued, “They say that babies look like the fathers mostly so that the family accepts the relationship. Before DNA or even blood tests were available, men couldn’t be positive that they had fathered the child. Therefore, it became evolutionarily and societally appropriate to focus on the ways in which a child could be said to look like the putative father.”

“Well, don’t tell Seung Hui noona that, for heaven’s sakes!” Jun Ho laughed at the thought of his older sister’s sour face if this conversation happened around her.

Young Woo at him with surprise. “She is an educated person, Jun Ho. I am sure this theory is not new to her.”

She was quiet for a few moments, then said slowly, “Ah. I see. If I were to discuss this in front of her or Jeong Nam, they might think I was questioning the child’s parentage.”

Jun Ho smiled over at her. “I don’t think she would really think that, yeobo. But perhaps it would be better not to talk about it until she is completely over the baby’s birth.”

Young Woo nodded thoughtfully and sat in silence for the remaining drive home.

“But you want children, don’t you, Jun Ho?”

He nearly didn’t catch it, as she was looking down and spoke quietly, but he had been waiting for something like it.

“Not necessarily,” he said carefully. “I don’t think we are ready now.”

She hummed under her breath. “Do you not want to talk about it then?”

That was always a tricky question. But Jun Ho had learned that honesty, even bluntness, sometimes worked best.

“I have thought about it, of course. But I don’t know how I feel about it. Birthing a baby is a lot.” He repressed a shudder. Seung Hui had given them a very spirited re-enactment of her birthing experience. “Babies are a lot. I kind of like being just us for now.”

He pulled up to their apartment block feeling he had weathered that potential storm. He looked over at Woo Young Woo, who was staring him with a metaphorical cham-cham-cham hammer in her hand.

“Lee Jun Ho thinks Woo Young Woo would not be a good mother.”

“Not true. I think you are good at anything you want to do well.”

“Lee Jun Ho thinks Woo Young Woo would have problems being a mother.”

“Not true. I think anyone can have problems being a parent.”

“Lee Jun Ho thinks we should not have children.”

“Not true. If you want to have children, we can talk about it.”

She huffed her displeasure. “It feels like you have already thought about these answers.”

He smiled at her. “Lee Jun Ho knows Woo Young Woo pretty well.”

She gave a grudging smirk. “True. He does.”

They got out of the car and walked to their door, holding hands for 36 seconds.

“We will talk about this again,” she said, as they counted their way through the door.

“Whenever you want to,” he promised. “When you know what you want, we will talk about it.”