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"Ellie, wait."
She didn't want to wait. She wanted to leave, to rip for the door that always looked like it was about to fall off its hinges. But Abby pleaded to her just like that every time. The same exact words. The exact conflict and desperation quaking in her voice. And it dripped from her lips like sickly sweet honey, luring the hungry beast inside Ellie in. The beast that needed sustenance, even if that meant journeying into a cave where morbid curiosity lurked in the corner, waiting for the chance to eat her alive.
And that very same curiosity spurred her backward, violently urging her body toward the voice she longed to never hear again. The uprooted wooden floor panels creaked and whined underneath her heavy feet. She retraced her steps, the ones she worked so hard to take so that she could escape the events she already knew would take place. Her own moral failing. Her own inability to maintain self-control.
And it starred her in the face. Big, blue, calculative orbs that served as Abby's eyes. Dirty blonde hair strewn this way and that where it had struggled free of her braid. She stood stiff, broad body framed by the raggedy walls peppered with chipped paint and mud behind her. The muscles made visible by her black tank top hardened in defense, though something knowing washed the tension away from her features. Abby's jaw slackened and she curled her soot-stained fists.
Relief. Because she knew Ellie would turn around. She knew Ellie would come to her.
She did every time.
Ellie stood just shy of a yard away from Abby. The expanse of the abandoned mobile home that she somehow consistently manifested to be the space around them yawned with an emptiness that haunted her. Save for the dusty bed with rags for blankets nestled in a crook to their left, and the coffee maker on the counter behind her that looked far too much like the one Joel used to use every morning to be a coincidence, the home was vacant. From where Ellie stood, Abby looked like a tower. Well-worked arms like pillars, shining with the sweat of apprehension that birthed from standing before the woman psyched up to take her life. Abby's breath rasped all the way from her chest to where it left her lips. Hard, fast. Her shoulders rose and fell with every strained respiration. She was out of breath. She always was. This was how the dream. . .no, nightmare started out. Both of them exhausted, sweaty, gritty, and Ellie failing to abandon her.
Ellie fully intended to kill her one day. She was going to watch the light fade from her eyes. And she was going to make it slow. Draw it out so that the view would be akin to the sun leisurely hiding behind the mountains in the finale of afternoon. Ellie fantasized about it in her sickest daydreams. She replayed the image in her head every night Joel's battered, unrecognizable face crawled into her conscience and peered at her through blood-coated, swollen eyes.
Life would leave Abby's body. And she knew it would return absolutely none to Joel's. She knew that. But it'd still be the most beautiful sunset Ellie would ever see.
Why hadn't her thirst for vengeance followed her here?
Here, where instead of yearning to see the darkness of death shade over Abby's eyes she craved to see the aliveness of hazy blue in them. To see her pupils blown, her irises glowing with an emotion Ellie refused to believe the murderer of Joel could ever manifest.
She found her rage again.
"You're not doing this to me again." Ellie growled with a delirious quickness, her voice a deep snarl within her chest that made it feel like thunder rolling in her throat. She felt wild with anger; crazed, hysteric. But Abby remained unflinching, only cautious, watching Ellie’s every frantic movement as the smaller woman’s body shook.
“There is NOTHING ,” Ellie rumbled with the force of a thousand storms, “on this Earth… I want more… than for you to die.” With the last word hanging heavy in the stuffy air between them, Ellie swiped her switchblade from the back pocket of her jeans and flicked it open, steered its blade accusingly at Abby. Her opposition's eyes flickered from the weapon to Ellie’s face, and oh how Ellie wished the other woman would have at least reached for her own. But she hadn’t. Instead, Abby rolled her shoulders, gave Ellie a look of challenge, presented her body with outstretched arms. Her lips were curled into the slightest, merciful smile.
“Get it over with then, Ellie.” Abby said flatly, her tone a mixture of sympathy and provocation that left Ellie so disastrously confused, almost fucking nauseous. Ellie hated hearing her name come out of her dirty little mouth, because it tugged so aggressively at her heartstrings. Her voice always held that timbre, made worse by the pools of some sort of deeper understanding blossoming in her irises every time Ellie lost her mind.
And then there was the ethereal aura Ellie's nightmares granted Abby. Her shape gained a soft blue silhouette as the moonlight seeping in through the damaged window panes kissed her skin, defining her, making her shine like a very distant star. A star Ellie slaved every day of her life to reach. Her full lips moved so languidly when she spoke. Ellie was so sick of noticing the grace of Abby’s lips.
The taller woman's eyebrows rose, making her look enticing, with her long lashes shading over those oceans in her eyes. Perceptive, gloomy things. What a perfect face, Ellie thought. A beautiful canvas for her switchblade to carve justice into.
"You can make this all go away." Abby whispered, scanning the vista of Ellie's shaken person. Her drawn-out emphasis on the word 'all' made her tongue visibly flicker. Ellie couldn't help but track it, noting the way it darted up to lick the dryness off Abby's lips. "Right here, right now."
Ellie's resolve shattered like glass on the floor between them. She sucked in a sharp breath that did nothing but clog her lungs with warm air. Why was it so warm? Why couldn't she fucking see straight?
Ellie waved her switchblade in the air threateningly with an indecipherable exclamation, slicing dust particles, slicing Abby's taunts that hung heavily there, slicing nothing. Anything but Abby. The whipping sound of her quickness fell cold.
"I hate you!!" She shrieked, spittle darting from her teeth with the force of her fury. Her voice bounced off the walls, made Abby visibly wince, but the anger was swiftly being sapped from her the more Abby's eyebrows knit together with pity. The more her arms lowered as if she were disappointed Ellie couldn't just lurch forward and aim for the throat. God, it should've enraged her. Should've kicked her adrenaline levels into overdrive. But all it did was make her want to crumble onto the tarnished floor and weep a lake's worth of tears.
Her jaws ached, her muscles ached. Everything fucking ached so bad she staggered to stay upright. She needed to hate her. She needed to scream.
She couldn't scream.
"I hate you so fucking much…" How pathetic of her to whimper under the gaze of the woman who stole the only man she ever fully trusted from her. Beat him out of this world with a series of ferocious strokes. Ellie's voice croaked with the declaration, thieving any possibility of truth from it. It faltered uselessly. Why was she so God damn useless? Through the tears blurring her vision, she loathed the twinge of worry that flashed over Abby's face as if part of her wanted to wipe them all away.
She could hardly keep her vision in focus as Abby shifted her weight on her opposite leg. Her jaw popped side to the side as if she had a sour taste in her mouth that she needed to spit out. Then, after an unsteady exhale, Abby chuckled joylessly and shook her head.
She laughed.
She was laughing.
Something inside Ellie just fucking broke.
"Why is it always you here!?" She wailed, her cheeks hot with freshly flowing tears. Her grip on the handle of her blade had grown so tight it frayed her peeling calluses. It hurt so bad. It hurt so fucking bad but she didn't care. It was nothing compared to the erupting pressure in her chest her sobs birthed. Her shoulders rose and fell rapidly, her arms drawing in so that she could stare down at her hands in hysterics.
"It could've been anyone." She whispered in horror. "Anyone else." Her scowl lifted. She shot Abby a look of unadulterated death. "But it's you ."
Her growl was guttural. It vibrated through her entire body, producing a new round of tears that streamed down her face in record time. Teeth bared like this, weapon trembling in her hand, she swore she felt like a feral beast. Probably looked no better. But Abby merely crossed her broad arms over her chest — sucked the inside of her lip, like she was thinking. Then she lifted her chin and narrowed her eyes.
"Don't ask stupid questions." That infuriatingly velvety voice murmured, weighing heavy with meaning beyond her words. "You know exactly why."
Ellie stared at her through rapid blinks. The fuck? What the fuck was that supposed to mean?
"You know what you are?" She asked in a whisper, raising an eyebrow. Abby's lips pursed shut, and Ellie didn't wait for her to think of an answer. "You're like the fucking plague! No…No." Ellie shook her head without taking her gaze off Abby. "You're worse than the plague- Fucking parasite. Fucking demon !"
Ellie's roar was met with a scoff. A sound that meant Abby agreed with her sentiment that she was nothing short of pathetic. Ellie was panting for air now. She could taste the salt of her tears on her tongue. Part of her wanted Abby to know what they tasted like too. That didn't even afflict her.
"Why don't you do something about it then? Huh, Ellie?" Abby challenged. With her fists balling up, her eyebrows bent into a scowl that tightened her boxy jaw. "Do something ."
The whole world turned blood red.
"You're gonna die for what you did, motherfucker!" She shrieked. "You're gonna fucking die!!"
Ellie could hardly see what she was lunging at as she launched herself at Abby, closing the distance between them in mere seconds. She couldn't even register the shock flashing across Abby's features before her forearm slammed into the taller woman's chest and sent her back smashing into the wall behind her. The mobile home creaking in protest did nothing to drown out the choked gasp that forced itself out of Abby's windpipe. Dust billowed into the air from the impact, and Ellie had her switchblade pressed to her throat in an instant. She didn't contain the animalistic growl that rumbled in her lungs when Abby winced in pain.
Abby's eyes were wild with defiance. An azure fire burned so bright there, the same fire Ellie lusted to extinguish. But somehow, at that moment, those flames lit a fuse inside Ellie that had been dormant for so long. Abby had her back arched; probably to try and make distance between her bruised spine and the mud-caked wall. And with every wheezing exhale, her torso grew nearer and nearer to Ellie. Until they touched, and made the smaller woman feel sick.
But even with her chest rising and falling so hard against Ellie's own that her heartbeat rapped at her breastbone, Abby didn't fight back. Didn't flinch away from the closeness. All she did was stare down at Ellie, nails audibly digging up the paint on the wall behind her. Fearful, but surrendered.
Oh, how it drove Ellie crazy every time. The way her blade shook without fail at this exact point in her nightmares. Right when she had Abby where she wanted her. Her hair, darkened with sweat, plastered to her forehead, sticking out in different angles, contrasting the meticulous braid that tied it all together. The scars on her face, the lines of stress along her forehead, the sunkenness under her eyes that always made Ellie realize she experienced the passing of time the same way she did. The quivering of her skin that matched the unsteady attention of her gaze. That very gaze faltered to take in Ellie's nose, her cheeks, her lips.
Suddenly she's reminded that before her, there's a human. A woman. That's breathing. And every breath is one Ellie can feel on her face, coating her skin in the warmth of life. A warmth she had a blade pressed against, ready to cut into. Sweat dripped from Abby's temple, landed on Ellie's knuckles. And Ellie winced at the sensation of something so real , wanted it off her skin as soon as possible. But she was too mesmerized to move. Her grip tightened on the handle of her switchblade. Abby braced herself, the faintest whimper crawling up her compressed windpipe.
It was then, that those emotions Ellie spent long nights convincing herself Abby couldn't dream of mustering burst to life in her eyes like a nova. All of them, all at once. She saw the chaotic, dazzling colors of every single little happy moment the woman had ever lived swirling and dancing in shaking irises. Her life was flashing before her.
Her life.
And God. It was beautiful .
She was beautiful.
The switchblade clambered to the floor. Disbelief struck Abby's features like lightning, and the other woman clenched her teeth so hard Ellie heard her cheekbone pop. No matter though. Some sort of otherworldly serenity consumed Ellie's soul, making her dizzy, making her wanting. Her hand which once held a weapon now cradled Abby's jaw. The touch was delicate. Suddenly Abby was something fragile. A thumb drew a crooked line along a cheek that twitched against her touch. Abby let out a shaky breath that bounced right off Ellie's lips, eyelids fluttering with how her gaze dropped to the blade and came back to rest on Ellie's face.
And with a single inhale from the other, Ellie was drawn in with that very breath.
When their lips met it was so tender Ellie could've died. She wished she had. Anything was better than doing this with a killer. Anything was better than the way Abby failed to move away. She merely grew stiff against Ellie's body for a moment, and with a heavy, wistful sigh through her nose, she surrendered to her. Those strong hands released their hook on the wall and latched themselves onto Ellie's hips, fingers slipping into her belt loops and tugging her closer. Her arms hardened with a possessiveness that made Ellie's core ignite.
Anything was better than this.
Anything .
But nothing in the world could stop Ellie from giving into her desires, her obsessions, her infatuations. It all came crashing down on her heart, making her throw her other hand up and grip onto the back of Abby's hair. A soft moan tumbled onto Ellie's lips, and it wasn't her own. Abby's sounds came from so deep within her chest. They were so alive. Ellie wanted to keep it that way. She needed to keep it that way.
She needed her.
Their kiss was tenderhearted, but it was in no way gentle. It was powerful. Evocative. Both of them fought to keep from drowning in their own fervor. They huffed and gasped for air, releasing just to glare into each other's eyes breathlessly and crash together again. Ellie dug her nails into Abby's scalp for leverage, drinking in the hiss that landed right on her tongue. Abby's nails clawed into her jeans with a vengeance in retaliation. Her hands radiated heat straight through the worn fabric, with a grip so fierce Ellie could hear her breaking threads. They were so impossibly close. There was no telling who’s pulse was who’s anymore. And with nothing in between them, Ellie could feel that Abby was braless. It wasn’t anything new to her either. Her Abby conveniently never wore them.
The heat of her breasts against Ellie's collar made the smaller woman drunk. She pressed herself further against Abby's broad frame, trying to envelop herself in as much of her temperature as she could before the cold of reality could snatch her by the throat. But the force of her desperation made their legs slot together, almost like puzzle pieces. Ellie let out a broken gasp when Abby consequently bucked into her from the friction, a gratified sigh dragging slowly from her lungs and spilling into Ellie’s open mouth.
Abby's hard thigh pushed against her clothed privacy, and the dull pleasure it produced was electrified by Abby boring down on her hips, giving her no mercy. An unfettered whine slipped past Ellie's lips before she could swallow it down.
"Fuck, Abby."
She hated that name. She hated how it came out sloppy and wet on her tongue.
She tried to convince herself she hated how it made Abby groan approvingly too.
Had it been literally anywhere else, Ellie was sure Abby would've socked her right in the face before she could even get close enough to breathe the same air. But this was her dream. Her nightmare. This is what she wanted.
Jesus fucking Christ, why did she want this ?
The tsunami of confliction was immediately blockaded by Abby scooping her up by the thighs and lifting her with embarrassing ease. Ellie wasted no time wrapping her legs around Abby's waist to support herself. Wasted even less time grabbing her and kissing her like a starving beast to prey. She threw her hands onto Abby's tank top, clawed the cotton and tugged her forward, nearly throwing her off balance just to get another taste. Abby grunted at her aggression but fought to keep up with her as she hauled Ellie over to the bed, the wooden floor creaking with each labored step. Abby's tongue was slick against hers, and the puffy breaths from her nostrils were so full of need it made Ellie's blood soar to her nethers.
In a whirl of motion, Ellie was deposited on the sheetless mattress with an 'oomf', and immediately upon regaining her composure, she scrambled upright to rest on her elbows. Her eyes shot up to meet the gleaming blue ones of the panting woman in front of her. Abby's study was fucking relentless, but there wasn't an ounce of scrutiny there. Not anymore. Just pure fasciation. What it was about Ellie that intrigued Abby was completely beyond her. She couldn't bring herself to wonder about it for too long, because God, she felt so small. So vulnerable. Abby standing over her damn near spiraled her out of control. All of sudden Ellie was the deer, Abby was the headlights, and the edge of the bed was a bridge for her to leap right off of. She was already frantically scanning the ground for where she left her switchblade, fight or flight instinct coiling its tendrils around her already spiked nervous system. But her gaze ripped from the floor and back to Abby when the other woman grabbed the ends of her tank top and wrestled it off with swiftness, discarding it on the floor in a ruffled heap.
Ellie froze. Her fingers bent into the mattress.
Abby's upper body was exposed. Scar-kissed, built, defined. Gorgeous. The moonlight even seemed to be drawn to her as it hugged her outline and made her almost glow. Her breasts weren't much bigger than Ellie's, but they were certainly fuller. And they looked so soft despite the firmness of the muscles around them. For a moment, they simply stared at each other. Ellie, like she was hypnotized. Abby, like she was calculating.
"Ellie." The sound of her own name rattled Ellie out of her trance. She swallowed so hard it got caught in her throat and she coughed. Her eyes flickered frantically from Abby's torso to her blue unrelenting gaze. A fresh wave of anxiety hit Ellie so abruptly she could've evaporated.
"What." Her response came out toneless. Sounded more like a statement than a question. Felt akin to choking up a rock. But Abby's expression didn't alter. Instead, Abby surveyed Ellie's entire frame in a way that made Ellie feel as though she was being dissected. Started at her feet, lingering on her hands where they dug into the mattress, fluttering over her torso. Then it stopped on her face, and Abby's own twisted with a sensitivity that made Ellie feel sick.
"We can stop," Abby murmured. Her head turned to where the switchblade had been discarded, and without turning back toward Ellie, she side-eyed her. "You can make this all go away."
Ellie's heartbeat rammed against her ribcage. She hated how she froze. Hated how Abby's now swollen lips curled into a sympathetic smile just enough so that it looked like it came from the heart. Ellie's insides were boiling but her skin was ice cold. Her skin that missed Abby's warmth so fucking much. The heat of her body. The life of her.
"Get the fuck over here." Ellie snarled. It was a threat. Because if Abby dared take this away from her, she was sure to kill her.
Abby dimpled smirk just then drove her nuts. And much to Ellie's dismay, she shook her head.
"You're a confusing woman." She whispered, low and sultry. "Don't think I've ever kissed someone so damn indecisive."
Ellie's eyebrows bent dangerously as she bared her teeth.
"I said get over-"
Her second threat was cut short. Without so much as a breath for a warning, Abby dove for her. Ellie instinctively flung up a hand to protect herself, but under Abby's weight, it crumpled and got smashed between their chests. Elbows were planted just above her shoulders, sinking the bed around Ellie's head and causing it to tilt to the side. And the scalded heat of Abby's mouth clamped around the exposed flesh of her neck in an instant. A guttural moan vibrated into Ellie's nerves there as Abby deepened her assault on her and drew her in. Ellie yelped at how mercilessly Abby sucked her skin. It stung like she was being fucking scruffed like a misbehaving cat. Though the sting of pain that sparked underneath Abby's teeth made the ache between her legs evolve into a full-blown throb. Her hips rolled upward into Abby's thigh without a single drop of her input, ripping a whine from her that made her burn with shame. She tried to wriggle free — to escape the source of the sensations that always made her surrender to this nightmare, but when Abby's pelvis bore down on hers, and her thigh lifted just enough to nestle against her sex, Ellie shuddered and lost all resolve.
Her free hand attached itself desperately to Abby's flexing bicep. Nails dug into the firm skin there, pressuring right where the other woman was most vascular. Her body weight. Oh, her body weight. The heaviness and density of her muscles pushed Ellie into the mattress, giving her zero wiggle room. The only thing her twists and squirms achieved was her clothed arousal rutting roughly against Abby's thigh. She swore to herself in vain that the very last thing she'd ever want is to be underneath this villainous woman. Even as whines turned into whimpers, she told herself it disgusted her. She lied to herself over and over.
Little lightning bolts of gratification struck her neck where they circuited straight to her core. But despite the flames it fanned within her, the pain was growing to be too much.
"God, Fuck, Abby-" She gasped. "You're gonna rip me open." Ellie had meant to sound a lot more dangerous. But her anger dissolved into nothingness under the burden of her humiliating sounds. She was grateful when Abby relented, releasing her skin from her mouth with a 'pop' that made her butterflies stir in Ellie's insides. Abby panted hotly against her tingling flesh, ragged and starved. Then she planted her tongue along the creases her maw-print left, tracing the indents of her bite. Ellie trembled violently under the sensation.
"You taste so good. Couldn't help myself." Abby breathed onto her skin. As if her words weren't infuriating enough, the tenderness of the kiss she laid on Ellie's new injury filled her with so many conflicting emotions she was tempted to shove her off. Attempt to, anyway. Abby may as well have been a god damn brick wall.
"Shut the fuck up." Ellie hissed, her quads shaking with one last flick of Abby's tongue.
Abby brought herself up so that their noses brushed together. Ellie could've melted under the incinerating blue that piercingly surveyed her through half-lidded eyes. They breathed each other's air. Became each other as both of their gazes settled on the other's lips. Abby's were slightly parted, each respiration an unsteady one. She lowered her head just enough so that their lips caressed.
"Make me, Ellie." Abby muttered. " Make me."
The beast inside Ellie awakened once more.
Tugging her hand from where it was trapped between them, she clasped her palm shut on Abby's throat, forcing a gasp out of her. And with that leverage, she brought her down so that their lips collided. This time Ellie wanted full control. Her tongue lapped once at Abby, and that was all it took for her to release the tension in her jaw and allow Ellie entry. The cavern of Abby's mouth was so, so intoxicatingly sweet. Ellie huffed through her nose—furrowed her brows as she rolled her tongue against Abby's, coaxing a simultaneous moan out of them both. Fuck, she couldn't stand how good she tasted. Suddenly she understood where Abby was coming from. She really couldn't help herself. Couldn't help the way she licked under Abby's tongue before she suckled it to stain her tastebuds with her flavor.
Abby's body jerked as her tongue was captured, making a pathetic little sound that filled Ellie's ears with music. Her noises were uniquely feminine. In a more graceful way than it was meek. She needed to hear more. Abby's voice was a drug, and Ellie was an addict. And Jesus Fuck, was she fiending.
Grinding her hips up into Abby was a hazardous choice. Both of them had to break away from the kiss and breath away the impact of the sudden friction. And then more than ever did Ellie want the rest of the clothes that separated their skin on the floor with her switchblade. Abby must've felt the same, because she tugged at Ellie's t-shirt with a balled-up fist.
"Off." She growled.
Ellie wanted to punch that cocky ass command straight back down Abby's throat, but whatever demon had possessed her that night grabbed her by the head and made it nod.
She brought her arms above her head, wriggled as she needed to while Abby wrestled with the fabric until it was off. The shirt was promptly tossed on the floor, and after scooping her arms under Ellie to pluck apart the hooks of her bra, that was discarded similarly. There was too much heat between them and the stuffy mobile home to make the exposure a shock, but the nakedness almost immediately made Ellie shrink into herself. Her back arched inward to stuff her body further into the mattress. She even flexed her abs with gritted teeth to sink away from the blue stare that haunted her.
If Abby had oogled for even a second more Ellie swore she would've kicked her right where it would hurt the most, but Abby hummed a low note, lowering herself so that her lips aligned with Ellie's collar. There she laid kisses. Careful, attentive, lingering as her lips planted affections in a downward trail. Ellie winced at the softness — turned her head away so she didn't have to keep looking at the compassion that swirled in Abby's eyes when she gazed up at her through her ruffled hair. How'd she know? How'd she always know how to pick her apart piece by piece?
Why'd she always let her?
Abby's lips drifted to Ellie's exposed breasts. She paused, and Ellie peeked at her to see that her eyebrows were knit together with concentration. While Abby contemplated whatever the hell she was contemplating, her breath coiled down and greeted Ellie's nipple. Ellie's breath hitched and her legs squirmed, spine writhing against Abby's frame. But all the struggle just made Abby chuckle softly before casting her tongue out to flick at the stiffened nub. The smaller woman's body flinched harshly as she puffed out a tiny 'oh' . Fuck, it felt electric. Abby was so precise with that cursed tongue. Satisfied with the reaction, Abby sampled her some more, tongue drawing slow, unrhythmic circles around Ellie's areolas and driving her fucking mad. It was no secret to Ellie that her breasts were probably the second most sensitive part of her body. The first, well, it was gaining uncomfortably wet between her legs.
Abby stifled a quiet moan as she leaned in further — sucked a gentle pull on Ellie's nipples that had her arching her back up into Abby's torso which firmly held her in place.
"Abby…Shit…"
She fully intended to sound pleading that time, because she swore she was so pent up she'd come just from this. But her heart dropped when Abby rejected her plea with a subtle shake of her head. Instead of giving her grace, Abby held Ellie by the small of her back with one hand and groped her unattended breast with the other. Her fingertips, hardened from labor, flicked and pinched her nipple which stiffened instantly from the treatment. Ellie cried out as both her breasts were toyed with, mewled when Abby grazed her teeth against her sensitivity with that pleased little smirk on her face. Ellie despised how attractive she found it. Just looking at her was the last straw that made her hump against Abby's leg in pure desperation. Abby hummed approvingly against her swollen breast — ground herself down in a slow, agonizing tempo against Ellie. Her hips moved languidly, and she groaned deep within her chest with every rut — the hold she had on the small of Ellie's back strengthening.
Ellie dissolved into a mess. Dull pleasure ricocheted against her throbbing clit every time Abby's thighs met her. There wasn’t any stopping herself from entwining her fingers in Abby's hair. Immediately, she relished and anguished at how stupid soft it was. The strands felt like feathers brushing against her sweating palm, and the way Abby leaned appreciatively into her touch didn't get past her. Ellie, through her pleasure-numbed sequence of thoughts, decided she wanted to test these waters. She kneaded deep against Abby's scalp — massaged it even. The moan this earned brimmed so thickly with feeling. That shit was going to break Ellie's fucking heart.
But before she could process any of that woe, Abby's hand flung from their stations and grasped at the hem of her jeans.
"Lift your hips up."
By some unholy wonder, Ellie obeyed.
Her jeans and underwear were tussled off at the same time, and if Ellie wasn't so dizzy with inner torment she would've laughed at how Abby grunted with frustration when they got stuck on her feet. Those were thrown much farther than the rest of her clothes, and once bare, Ellie squeezed her legs together to hide herself. Abby paused when she did so, sitting on her heels with her thighs underneath the bends of Ellie's knees. When their eyes met, Ellie wanted nothing more than to wake the fuck up.
Abby’s eyebrows stooped with an unreadable emotion.
"Ellie… We can stop whenever you want.” Her voice was smooth and raspy from how low she kept it. “We don't have to do this."
By the way the blue in her eyes darkened, Ellie knew exactly what she was implying. But by now, Ellie was too far gone. She violently shook her head.
"No," She whispered, surprising herself with her own quiet. "No…we're not done."
Abby sucked the inside of her lip again, staring down at Ellie with an intensity that made the smaller woman wince and move to cover her exposed upper body with her arms.
Abby's grunt of disapproval made her freeze.
"Then open your legs."
The direction came out with gentle authority. But despite the care in her tone, it was clear Abby was laying down the law.
The law.
The law ?
There was no way in hell. And surely, this was hell.
"Fuck you." Ellie spat shakily. The image of the switchblade manifested itself behind her eyes, and no matter how many times she blinked she couldn't unsee it. She wasn't going to listen to this freak of nature, this beautiful woman , this murderous bitch, this fucking angel.
Abby narrowed her eyes — dominance flashing in them without filter. It made Ellie's cunt throb, and her stomach twisted along with it.
"Open your legs, Ellie."
Ellie held her breath — tried not to focus too hard on the way her rapid heartbeat slammed against her breastbone. She swallowed and caught the way Abby watched her throat as she did so. Her eyes drifted downward, trailing the midline of Abby’s abdominal muscles, idled there to admire the rise and fall of her body with every bated breath. Perfection. Her Abby was perfect. And she hated it with all her fucking heart.
Hesitantly, she opened her legs, but she couldn’t maintain eye contact as she surrendered herself.
Abby chuckled gracefully, like she was singing a song.
“Good girl.”
She swore this fucker wanted her to kill her.
“Don’t you ever fucking call me that again,” Her warning fell flat when she heard Abby unzipping her pants, leaving her mouth gaping open nervously. Hazel eyes trailed downward and caught the way Abby’s hand slipped past her jeans to test her own wetness. Only then did she realize she was gripping at the mattress for dear life.
“We’ll see if you can keep that same energy,” was all Abby said in response.
In the blink of an eye, Ellie was once again surrounded by Abby’s warmth. A relentless maze of kisses was planted on various areas of Ellie’s collar. She fought the moan bubbling up her throat, but it was successfully drained out by Abby's deft fingers going on an expedition. Tough fingertips drew rough lines into Ellie’s abdomen. The sensation this touch birthed bordered somewhere between ticklish and thrilling, and it reeled her knees to bend further up where they squeezed against Abby’s waist. She found herself squirming, jerking her head away from the stupid little courtesy kisses Abby incessantly speckled her skin with. Ellie loathed how much she craved it. Detested how even though her head wouldn’t turn to encourage each kiss, her back arched up into Abby’s body, Abby’s touch, deepening the contact of her fingertips until they dipped between her-
“Fuck!”
Ellie spasmed when Abby’s hand ventured past her pelvis and brushed lightly against the hood of her clit. A hand shot up and clawed hard into Abby’s shoulder, nails digging into the bone that could be felt underneath. Above her, there was a growl of pain, a puff of shaky breath — sounds that diffused into a sultry laugh when she met Ellie’s lopsided glare.
“Sensitive.” Even her whispers left tingles on Ellie’s skin. “Who would’ve thought?”
Ellie bit her lip, her thighs twitching as she sat herself up a bit to keep track of Abby’s hand — had to swallow when she saw two daring fingers hovering above her clit. Her hair had gotten ruffled from all her thrashing, so some of it dangled right in her field of vision. But she still saw the way Abby’s gaze locked onto the stray strands. Confusion rolled in Ellie’s chest when Abby’s expression softened before her, boxy jaw relaxing, eyes defocusing.
Abby looked into her eyes, then back at her brown hair, appearing decisive for a moment before she rested on her elbow. Her free hand reached up to Ellie’s face. The nearer and nearer that hand came, the more and more Ellie tensed. She became solid rock when her stray hairs were brushed away from where they caught on her lashes. She was all too aware of her racing heart — all too aware of the enchanted look in the other woman’s eyes.
She panicked. Tried to remember where they were in their ‘conversation’ to save face. Abby had called her sensitive . She couldn’t prove her right.
“Shut the fuck up…” Ellie whispered in an embarrassingly tiny voice.
Abby smiled at her. A full, enamored smile. Ellie’s eyes widened when it didn’t fade away.
“You first.”
A gasp tore from her lungs when Abby’s fingers bore down on her clit. Ellie’s head threw itself back, her hips bucked up into Abby’s large hand all on their own. God, she was already losing control of herself. And Abby seemed to want to speed up the process. She rubbed gentle circles on Ellie’s clit, making whine after whine spill Ellie’s lips until she was full-on whimpering. That familiar electricity circuited about in her groin, bounced around in her core with every meticulous circle Abby completed against her throbbing bud. Must’ve been an expert. Must’ve been experienced. Had to be. Each precise stroke made Ellie’s body jerk with otherworldly enthusiasm.
She dared open her eyes that begged to squeeze shut against the pleasure — damn near fell apart when she saw Abby looking up at her with a cloudy rapture. Her eyes were so full of intrigue, and Ellie couldn’t handle the intimacy of their eye contact, opting instead to watch Abby’s biceps flex with her motions between her legs. She captured her bottom lip between her teeth, willing her body to stop moving on its own. It sought out Abby’s touch; her warmth like a depraved junkie.
Ellie hadn’t pinpointed the exact moment when she felt her orgasm creeping up on her. But she realized from the hard jolt of her core that she was growing close. Something in her told her she wasn’t ready. Or perhaps this isn’t how she wanted this nightmare to end. So she reached down and took hold of Abby’s wrist, surprised to find that the other woman immediately stopped what she was doing.
Abby’s eyebrows furrowed as she stared at her, concerned.
“Ellie-?”
“Wait…” Ellie breathed the word shakily, gnawing endlessly on her bottom lip while her body protested the revoke of completion.
“Wait… I- This isn’t- I want…” Her own thoughts were making her feel ill, and she fought the urge to close her legs to hide the mess between her thighs.
Abby, however, only nodded at her, prompting.
“Tell me.”
Ellie’s expression quickly soured. There were many things about herself that she couldn’t stand — couldn’t bear to give any real attention to in fear of hating herself for good. One of them, well, was that she craved love. She yearned for the fondness of someone who could call her precious, and cherish her without a second thought. Abby wasn’t that person. Abby wasn’t going to be the one to give her the love she lost in so many of those hearts that stopped beating.
That was… in real life, anyway. But here…
“I want you closer. I want… need you.”
She stiffened.
Did she just say that? Was she going insane?
Abby’s jaw went tight again. That little habit she had when she was assessing a situation. Her eyes darted from different points of Ellie’s face, analyzing her, mapping her out. Then, her expression softened, and a sentimental smile tilted her lips.
“Right.” Abby whispered. Planting her palm on the inside of Ellie’s thigh, she brought herself up so that their faces were centimeters apart. Ellie breathed her air, drank her scent. Moments ago, all she could smell was the heavy musk of fear in the space they shared. Now, she caught notes of pine and lake water. Algae, wet wood. A fragrance that was uniquely Abby’s. Uniquely theirs .
Abby’s lips brushed hers, making Ellie’s lashes flutter until her eyes were half-lidded.
“Ellie…”
“Yeah?”
“What do you want from me?”
“To give me back what you stole.”
Abby exhaled against her lips. Ellie brought her hands up to hold her cheeks.
“You know I can’t do that, Ellie.”
“Yeah… I know.”
Then, came the kiss that finally broke Ellie’s heart. It was overwhelmingly amorous. Both of them closed their eyes simultaneously, breathing out their tension into each other’s faces as they deepened it. Where her thumbs brushed Abby’s jaw, she felt the face she had meant to butcher relax beneath her touch. Now, she was grateful that she’d left Abby intact. Now, she was appreciative of the weight of her body pressing her form into the mattress. She reeled with gratitude when two digits rolled into the groove of her entrance, whimpering into the kiss that never broke, against the tongue that she surrendered to. She cried out, teared up when those fingers entered her, stretching her apart, reforming her with their shape. Ellie hadn’t a single clue where the tears were coming from, or why she leaned into Abby’s other hand when she moved to wipe them away. The temperature of her palm on her face, the pulsing lightning that struck her when Abby’s fingers curled just right inside her, it all was too much to bear.
When Abby finally broke away from their kiss. Ellie let her hands fall back down. One gripped the mattress at her side. The other flew to Abby’s scarred shoulder, clinging to it for dear life.
“Abby, fuck- Abby… Abby-!” She let that name tumble from her freely with each fragmented sob of pleasure — let it journey up her lungs and strum her vocal cords over and over. She was sick of hearing it, drunk on the way it spilled so loosely on her tongue. It felt natural with Abby thrusting inside her with such precision and fervor. Ellie could feel herself tightening up around her strong digits as the pumping grew more intense. She wanted to be embarrassed about how wet she was, and the noises that her nectar of arousal made when Abby dug into her depths. But she relished in the way it filled the room, along with the other woman’s respirations of effort.
Abby’s frame overtook hers easily. Ellie was completely surrounded by her with no escape. And she was okay with that. She was more than okay with that. There wasn’t any fight left in her — wasn’t any anger.
Abby began to work at her nipples with her mouth and hand. Nipping them, twisting them, squeezing them. Between that the targeted thrusts of her fingers, Ellie was quickly nearing climax again. Abby perceived this, pressing her thumb lightly to her clit to coax it out. But Ellie struggled against it. Writhed and squirmed to run away from the forest fire spreading rapidly in her core. She wanted this to draw itself out. She wanted this to last forever. But eventually, the fire burned every single last bit of her resistance to ash and ruin.
Her torso and knees bent upward so forcefully it hurt, but Abby’s body held her to that mattress readily. Her orgasm bloomed inside her, and she did absolutely nothing to contain the wail it brought with it. Her cry held a string of incomprehensible words, but mostly, there was Abby’s name; bits and pieces of it flying about in the air while her completion racked every cell in her body. She saw stars. She saw white. She saw Abby’s blue eyes peering at her admiringly, shining brighter than they ever had.
Ellie shot up and saw her ceiling, then her ruffled-up blankets where she had jerked about in her sleep. She turned to her side. Her switchblade sat stabbed into the wooden bedside drawer near her cabin door where she’d left it. Icy wind billowed against the walls. Darkness swallowed up the light of a candle she’d forgotten to blow out before laying down. She shuddered, flopping back down onto her pillow. Her breathing was ragged, and the pulsing heat between her legs was unmistakable.
So were the tears of amalgamated bliss and despair that jumped in her eyes.