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Jotaro wouldn’t say re-adjusting to school life had been hard, exactly. Kakyoin and him had had to explain their two-months long absence to the administration, and even several weeks after they’d returned, they still had to dodge questions every now and then. Jotaro didn’t know how Kakyoin kept smiling nicely through all of them. Kill them with kindness, he guessed.
The events that they had lived through, though, stuck to their minds, like a thin lens appended to the world, like unlived memories that all seemed unreal while they sat quietly at their desk, listening to a teacher. And of course, it bound Jotaro and Kakyoin together in a way that nobody could understand. Someone had asked them if they had become best friends. How could we not ? Jotaro had thought.
As for schoolwork, well, they both had never had much trouble with it, and catching up hadn’t been a difficult task.
But Jotaro was starting to think it might be a good idea to pretend it was.
See, it was known that Kakyoin was very smart – in the way that people understood and liked, not Jotaro’s way – and during breaks, Jotaro watched on (eyes half-closed, ready to pretend to sleep if someone bothered him) as other students came up to Kakyoin to ask him for help, and Kakyoin always said yes.
“Oi, Noriaki-kun” said one, “you’re good at maths and stuff, right ? Can you answer these for me ? I don’t get it.”
Kakyoin smiled up at him, oblivious, happy to be useful by being effortlessly good at something. The student’s hand rested on the back of his chair much in the same way Jotaro had seen female students do, crowding him. Jotaro noticed a lot of things when it came to Kakyoin.
He’d started catching himself watching his friend more and more after they came back, realized he had been doing it even before, and now he was past caring and past pretending he wasn’t doing it. Unfortunately, Kakyoin didn’t seem to catch on or, maybe, knew but didn’t want to bring it up.
He seemed so clueless, though, when, as if sensing Jotaro’s eyes on him, he turned to him and smiled brilliantly. He had one of those pure smiles that almost hurt to look at. But it was always better than remembering how broken his face could look. The scars on his eyes were reminder enough, although he did not remove his glasses often.
Jotaro cast his eyes down on the notebook open on his desk. He had done the math problems and had found them easy enough. The idea that sprouted in his mind was deceitful but he found that he was not above it. What was a lie, after all he’d lived and done in Egypt ?
They walked home together for a part of the way every day now, and sometimes Kakyoin even accompanied Jotaro home to have tea with Holly. There is a special bond that forms with the person you have endangered your life to save.
That evening, as they walked under a heavy sky, Jotaro tried to bring up the subject casually in their conversation.
“Well, I got the math problems wrong, so…”
“Really ? I didn’t think you had trouble with math.”
“Actually, I’ve been meaning to ask you if you could help me but…”
Kakyoin clasped his hands together. “Oh, you shouldn’t have hesitated ! If you want, I can come over to your house right now. The sooner we start, the sooner you can stop worrying about it !” Kakyoin stopped himself, putting his fingertips to his mouth, contrite. “That is, if you worry about it.”
Jotaro tugged his cap lower. “No, I… It’s been an issue. Thanks.”
Kakyoin’s pace became more decided, looking ahead. “We’ll start by going over where you went wrong with today’s exercises.”
Jotaro looked at his feet in silent panic.
By a stroke of luck, just as they got settled in Jotaro’s room with the cups of tea Holly brought them, Kakyoin went to the restroom. Jotaro took his notebook out and flipped through it rapidly to add random mistakes in the problems.
Kakyoin came back as he was still scribbling.
“Oh, no !” he said. Jotaro froze, pen hovering over the page. “You don’t need to correct, please, I won’t judge you. I’m here to help you do that, that’s a bit counter-productive, isn’t it ?” Kakyoin laughed good-heartedly.
There was no mocking in his tone but Jotaro felt mortified. Kakyoin sat close beside him at the table, leaning to look at his notebook. Jotaro was only in his shirt now and his skin felt hot where Kakyoin was pressed against it.
“Those are really obvious mistakes… It’ll be easy to fix, you’ll see !” Kakyoin smiled up encouragingly at him. In a feat of self-control, Jotaro held his gaze in the most innocent and placid way he could, and Kakyoin was the one to first report his attention to the notebook.
Kakyoin then corrected them, still close against him, and Jotaro felt so warm he didn’t dare drink his tea, afraid he was going to combust.
The downside to adding “really obvious mistakes” was that they were done quickly. When they finished, Kakyoin took one glance at the clock and said he’d better get going, and got up. Jotaro did too, quickly, panicked that it hadn’t been as he imagined.
Kakyoin looked out the window. They only noticed at that moment, seeing the dripping grey-ness outside, that the fat low clouds had broken into a downpour.
“Can I…” Kakyoin started.
“You can stay the night”, Jotaro blurted out.
“… borrow an umbrella ?”
Kakyoin stared at him, wide-eyed.
“YeahI’llaskHolly”, Jotaro mumbled, voice rough, while leaving the room, hands balled into fists at his sides.
He returned to give the umbrella to Kakyoin, who was averting his eyes from his (Oh, please, no), thanked him for his help and said goodbye, forgetting to walk him to the gate in his embarrassment.
Thankfully, Kakyoin didn’t make it awkward in the following days. The next time their math teacher gave them exercises, Kakyoin went up to him when the class ended, proposing they solve them together that evening. Jotaro was leaning back in his chair and looked impassively at his friend, but his heart beat painfully fast. He wouldn’t fuck it up again.
They made a habit of it, and Jotaro was secretly happy when Kakyoin turned down other students if it cut down on his time helping him.
Jotaro longed for the moments where he could feel Kakyoin against him without it being weird, where he had an excuse to listen to and look at Kakyoin at length. Sometimes, their thighs touched from hip to knee.
Jotaro failed the next math test on purpose, regretting it immediately when he saw how sad Kakyoin was that his help did nothing. His face was not made for sadness; his mouth wide for smiles, his eyes soft for half-closed glee.
So as their sessions continued, Jotaro tried playing dumb in a more nuanced way, showing just the right amount of progress. Kakyoin was always happy when he asked questions. He had such a sparkling gaze when he was explaining things to him, leaning forward in his effusion. Jotaro didn’t dodge. Didn’t budge.
Until one day, for an exercise, Kakyoin wants to go back to the beginning of Jotaro’s notebook – where the margins are filled with little penned “check” marks – to compare.
Jotaro catches his wrist just before he starts turning the pages. Half his fingers over the back of Kakyoin’s hand, his thumb on the fragile skin of the inside of his wrist. Kakyoin looks up at him quizzically, as if innocently asking why he’s keeping him from flipping the pages, but Jotaro can see the cracks in his expression: the sweat shining on his temple, the tightness of his throat when he gulps, the rise of colour on his cheeks the longer he holds Jotaro’s gaze, and finally, his heartbeat speeding up under Jotaro’s thumb.
“I don’t have a problem with math.”
“What ?” Kakyoin croaks.
“I made mistakes on purpose. I don’t actually have difficulties with math.”
Kakyoin’s gaze goes from him, to the notebook, to him again. His hand, that had been hovering still, drops on the open pages, still encased in Jotaro’s grip. Kakyoin doesn’t seem to notice.
“But why ?”
Jotaro doesn’t hesitate. “Because I wanted to spend more time with you.”
“You could have just told me !” Kakyoin exclaims, indignant, and a little bit high-pitched.
“No, I wanted it to be different than when we hang out.”
“… We’re not hanging out right now ?” Kakyoin chokes up.
“We… we are, but…” Jotaro stammers, losing some of his confidence in the way Kakyoin’s lips are parted in incredulity.
“Oh, my god, Jotaro.”
Kakyoin turns away, finally freeing his wrist to put his face, almost as red as his hair, in his hands.
Jotaro sits there, frozen, not knowing what to do and falling back to just watching Kakyoin, watching the events unfold. This is out of his hands now.
“Do you”, Kakyoin starts, laying his shaking fingers flat on the table. “Do you realize what you’re saying ?”
Jotaro thinks for a moment. “I don’t know. What am I saying ?”
Kakyoin glares at the table. “You’re infuriating, you know that ?” He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. “Since when have you known ?”
Now Jotaro loses track of what’s being said. “Known what ?”
“That I have a crush on you.”
Jotaro blinks. Slowly.
“I thought we were talking about my crush on you.”
Kakyoin has a manic hiccup of laughter. “So you do… you do have a- a…”
Jotaro continues to being afraid of startling him with the littlest movement and keeps still. Kakyoin is quite shaky and, Jotaro suddenly notices, his eyes are filling with tears. Jotaro looks around his own room, silently panicking.
“Is it because I’m…” Kakyoin grazes his own chest.
Jotaro sighs discreetly. That’s what worried him. It makes sense, he thinks. He’d told him during the trip – forced intimacy had compelled him to.
“Kakyoin,” he says, and very gently puts his hand to the side of Kakyoin’s neck to make him look at least in his direction, “I don’t think of you as a girl, and I don’t think of myself as in love with a girl.”
Kakyoin burns bright red. He presses his lips really hard together, almost making them disappear. Jotaro takes his face in both hands and bends just to close the distance between their mouths. He kisses him softly, but Kakyoin immediately surges up into it, throwing his arms around Jotaro’s neck. But after just a few seconds, he draws back a little and says, “I think I’m going to faint.”
Jotaro smiles down at him. Kakyoin blinks rapidly, staring at his curved lips. He shakes his head.
“No, I’m really going to faint, I need to- to take off my binder.”
Jotaro feels his own face heat. “Oh.”
They both stand up awkwardly and turn away from each other. Jotaro hears the rustle of clothes, the tight slide of binder against skin, but it stops at that. Kakyoin is staying shirtless. Jotaro feels uncomfortable beads of sweat running down his back.
“Do you want to…” Kakyoin says in a voice that would not be so bold if Jotaro were looking at him.
“Yes”, Jotaro answers.
“Oh, thank god.”
Suddenly, arms wind themselves around Jotaro’s torso. He can feel Kakyoin’s breasts against his back and his lips on the nape of his neck. He tries not to tense up. Kakyoin’s fingers skirt at the hem of his T-shirt and Jotaro lets them take it off, but after raising his arms, he turns and rests his hands on Kakyoin’s shoulder, doing his best not to stare at his chest.
“Wait, we should…” He walks to his wardrobe, and finds the condoms and lube stashed in the back of an underwear drawer. Holly put them there.
When he turns back, Kakyoin is sitting on his bed, in only his boxers, knees drawn up, looking a lot less confident. Jotaro is seized by doubt.
“Have you done this before ?”
“Well, I’ve… done it to myself”, Kakyoin mumbles into his knees. “You know, using fingers.” He chances a glance at Jotaro. “Thinking about you.”
Jotaro almost drops the bottle of lube. His pants are starting to feel really tight.
He comes sit by Kakyoin, who almost loses his balance when the mattress dips under Jotaro’s weight.
“If you’re used to it”, Jotaro says, “you could show me.”
He takes Kakyoin’s forearm, thumbs stroking it as Kakyoin lays down, chewing on the fingernails of his other hand.
This trembling hand slowly descends along his own body, to the junction of his still-folded legs. Jotaro gently pushes his knees down and removes his underwear. Kakyoin’s fingers start to rub between the folds of his vulva.
“Why are closing your eyes ?” Jotaro asks when he notices it.
“To concentrate on… picturing…” Kakyoin’s breath is already coming out short.
“You don’t have to, I’m right here.”
Jotaro feels his own voice going soft, surprised that it can sound like that. He takes Kakyoin’s free hand in his and brings two loose fingers in his mouth. Kakyoin’s gaze locks with his, then drops to the suction of his lips. These fingers disappear between them as do the others in himself. His feet are curling on the sheets.
Jotaro takes out Kakyoin’s fingers and coats them with lube, then guide them to where the others thrust. Kakyoin takes the cue and uses both his hands to open himself up deeper.
“Jotaro, take your clothes off”, Kakyoin pleads, and Jotaro swiftly obeys.
Kakyoin stops for an instant, staring at Jotaro’s aroused crotch, the naked want rising there. Then he drops his head back on the pillow, looking dumbly at the ceiling.
“I need you in me, like, right now. I really do.” His breathless throat has trouble forming the words.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, Jotaro tears the package of a condom and rolls the latter on. He finally climbs on the bed, pushes Kakyoin’s legs to kneel between them. Kakyoin removes his wet hands and passes them around Jotaro’s neck, drawing him further over him, so that Jotaro, his knees slid under Kakyoin’s ass, has to look at the long but slim space between their bodies to line up his cock to Kakyoin’s opening. The muscles resist a little only for the flesh to yield, and Jotaro continues to push, very slowly, inch by inch, going by how hard Kakyoin’s nails dig into his shoulder blades, how hard his teeth bite into his birthmark.
His head in the crook of Kakyoin’s neck, lips against collarbone, he hears his gasp close to his ear when he’s completely in, bodies finally aligned. One hand settled at Kakyoin’s dipping waist, the other hesitate over his chest a moment before Kakyoin whispers, “You- can touch them”, and Jotaro grasps his ribcage, cupping Kakyoin’s left breast between splayed thumb and index. His skin is soft, like velvet over muscles.
They both breathe in each other without moving until Jotaro uses the leverage he has on Kakyoin’s body to thrust shallowly. Kakyoin immediately wraps himself up around to urge him on. This forces Jotaro to go in at a new angle, a little higher, pressing against Kakyoin’s clitoris. Kakyoin’s breathing turns heavy, the faint moans flat on his tongue.
“Harder”, he pants.
The sounds his voice makes would have compelled Jotaro to quicken his pace even if he hadn’t asked him to. Jotaro raises his head to look at him. His face is damp, hair stuck with sweat on the side of it, eyes shining, cherry earrings jumping up and down to the rhythm of Jotaro’s trusts. His lips are parted, wet and inviting, and Jotaro kisses him. Kakyoin licks into Jotaro’s mouth, grabs at his hair, and his heels hit lightly the small of Jotaro’s back.
His thrusts are fast and hard like Kakyoin wants it, and the latter starts moaning in earnest, which proves to be Jotaro’s undoing.
His shoulders drawn up, cupping Jotaro’s face with one hand and fisting his dark hair with the other, Kakyoin kisses him through his orgasm, drinking his groan. Jotaro takes no time to recover and withdraws as soon as he’s finished, and applies the pads of his fingertips flat against the sensitive roof of Kakyoin’s vagina, continuing to thrust and rub. Kakyoin turns his head away and comes in a long exhale muffled by his own hand. The smell of sex and sweat is heady.
Jotaro sits back. Red marks in the shape of his hands are welling up on Kakyoin’s body.
Kakyoin waits for his breathing to come back to normal to ask:
“Can we… Can this be a thing ? That we do. In hopefully a regular way.”
Jotaro peels of the condom, ties it, and reaches to drop it in the bin before answering:
“Well, if we’re dating, it can be a “thing” if you want, yes.”
Kakyoin sits up, facing him, his hands in his lap to hide his crotch. “Are we dating now ?” His cheeks are still very red.
Jotaro stares at him. “Yes ?”
“Okay”, Kakyoin says, dumbfounded. “Okay !” He smiles, finally. He then frowns and points at Jotaro. “You better do your schoolwork correctly, now !”
But he is naked and dishevelled and impossible to take seriously. Jotaro kisses him.