Chapter Text
*Paging Doctor Duck. Paging Doctor Duck*
The cup of hot coffee that had been rising to his lips halted when Doctor Donald Duck heard his name being called on the intercom. He sighed heavily and placed the paper cup back onto the breakroom table, rubbing at his throbbing temples.
“What now?” Donald asked out loud as he stared up at the ceiling. He had just sat down to take a much needed break after dealing with fifteen separate patients.
“Oh, there you are Doctor Donald!”
The duck turned to see Nurse Clarabelle walk into the breakroom, a metal clipboard in her hand. “Yes, nurse. What do you need?”
“Just wanted to give you a heads up that one of your favorite patients is here in room #224.” The cow smiled smugly at the expression on her co-worker’s face.
Donald sighed again at the news. “Favorite patients”. More like a pain in his tail feathers! “Which one is it?”
“I’ll let you see for yourself,” the nurse said with laugh before handing him the clipboard. “Best get to it.”
“Gee, thanks,” the mallard muttered. He pulled a bottle of aspirin out of his coat pocket and popped two of them before washing them down with his scalding hot coffee. It burned on the way down, but the pain helped wake him up. “Let’s get this over with.”
OoOoO
“Hola, Doctor Donal’!”
Donald felt his eye twitch when he walked into the room to see a familiar looking rooster laid up in one of the hospital beds. He looked a little loopy as he waved clumsily at the waterfowl, his words switching from English to Spanish that made it difficult for Donald to follow. The nurses must’ve given him morphine already. “Panchito Romero Miguel Junipero Francisco Quintero González III, what brings you in today?” he asked dryly.
The rooster smiled sheepishly and gestured clumsily to his leg. “I hurt my leg again, amigo~.”
“Of course,” Donald mumbled. He stepped towards the injured leg, gently poking and prodding while watching his patient’s reactions. “Hmm. Nothing feels broken, might just be a light sprain or…”
“Maybe we should take him to radiology to get X-rayed,” suggested Clarabelle.
“No need,” Donald replied, grabbing Panchito’s leg and yanking hard.
There was a loud pop and an even louder yowl from the rooster. “Ay caramba!”
“Doctor Donald!” cried the cow nurse, her tone scolding. “What do you think you’re…?!”
“Hey! My leg! My leg feels so much better, amigo!” Panchito exclaimed, moving his leg almost effortlessly. “Muchas gracias, Doctor Donal’!”
“If you really want to thank me, you’ll stop getting injured so much,” groused the duck. Grabbing his notepad, he scribbled a prescription for pain medication for the cowboy to take. “Keep that leg elevated and ice it properly. Also, no hard work until you’re fully recovered. Remember, you’re no spring chicken!”
“Of course I am no spring chicken. I was born in the summer!”
“You know what I meant! And would you please stop leaving your horse in the waiting room?! He keeps eating all of the refreshments!”
“But Señor Martinez is family! Where else would I leave him?”
OoOoO
It was lunchtime and Donald thought the worst part of his day was over once he was finished with Panchito, but he was proven wrong when Nurse Minnie came by and alerted him of his next patient.
“Hey Doctor Donald, you’ve got José Carioca waiting for you in room #230.”
“What?! He’s here, too?!” groaned Donald. He hadn’t even had the chance to eat lunch yet. “Please tell me he’s the only one in the room this time!” he begged.
“I wish I could, Doctor,” Minnie said apologetically.
“Ugh.”
Setting his lunch aside, he followed the mouse nurse to his next patient’s assigned room. Already the two medical workers could hear a commotion coming from the room and mentally braced themselves for what lay on the other side of the door.
“Aw, poor José!”
“How could something like this happen to you, José?”
“Would you like to stay at my place while you recover, José?”
“Wow. There’s even more girls than last time,” said Minnie.
“Somehow, I’m not surprised,” replied Donald.
The duo managed to push past the crowd of females to make it to the patient’s bed. There, they spotted a green parrot sitting comfortably amongst the pillows, soaking up the attention of his fangirls. He smiled brightly when he noticed his medical caretakers.
“Ah Doutor Donaldo! Enfermeira Minnie! So good to see you again!”
“It’s good to see you as well, José,” replied the mouse in her usual cheerful and polite way.
“Is it?” asked the duck dryly.
“Oh! Well…maybe not in a hospital setting…”
“So, how’d you end up with a head injury, Mr. José?” asked Donald as he looked at his patient’s chart.
“Well, you see, Doutor, there was this not-so-friendly gentleman at the club where I work at and—"
“It was all her fault!” interrupted one of the women, pointing to the blonde female. “If it hadn’t been for her and her crazy boyfriend then--!”
“My boyfriend?! Wasn’t it your boyfriend who got poor José injured last time?!”
“Why you…!”
“Uh-oh, Doctor Donald! I think we might have another fight on our hands!” shouted Minnie, worriedly remembering what happened last time the performing parrot was here.
“I haven’t taken enough aspirin to deal with a repeat of that!” the duck grumbled back. “All right, ladies, I’m gonna have to ask all of you to leave so I can deal with my patient!” announced Donald impatiently.
“But we want to stay with José!” chorused the girls.
“I SAID LEAVE! WAAAKKK!!”
In an instant, the room was vacated by the females, restoring peace and order to the hospital room.
“That might lose us some stars on our hospitality rating,” warned Minnie.
“Aw phooey! They should know better than to be making a ruckus at a hospital!” Donald retorted, beyond caring at the moment. He turned his attention back to the green feathered bird. “So, about your injury…”
“Hehe right. Um…so as Cindy was saying, her boyfriend wasn’t too thrilled about me flirting with her and he sort of bashed me over the head with a chair.”
“So, the same as last time?” asked Donald whilst he checked José’s reflexes.
“No, no, no. Last time, I was beaten with a trumpet!”
“Maybe it might be in your best interest if you didn’t flirt with already taken girls,” Minnie advised.
“But Enfermeira Minnie, the mulheres flirt with me first! How am I supposed to know if they already have boyfriends? Big…strong…trumpet and chair wielding boyfriends…”
“Maybe you’d have a better chance at running from them if you didn’t smoke so much,” the waterfowl said as he checked the parrot’s pupils. “Did you cut back on the cigars like I asked?”
“O sim, sim! These past few weeks I only smoked two cigars per day!”
“Only two?”
“Okay, maybe two and a half. Three at the most if I’m stressed.”
“Right,” said Donald as he scribbled something down on his notepad. “Well, it looks like you have a mild concussion. A few days rest should fix you right up.”
“A few days rest consisting of…?”
“No working, no partying, no bright lights, no loud music, no fangirls, and NO SMOKING!”
OoOoO
“Hi Doctor Donald.”
“I haven’t eaten lunch yet!” Donald squawked angrily before realizing who it was. “Whoops, sorry Doctor Roxanne.”
The young, redheaded doctor waved it off with a smile. “It’s okay. Great work today.”
“Thanks, you too.”
Donald took several quick bites of his sandwich, not sure if or when he would be called to deal with another patient. He had already taken two more pills for his headache after being scolded by Clarabelle, Minnie, and the hospital director for his less-than-stellar bedside manner. Taking a quick look at the clock hanging on the breakroom wall, he groaned when he saw he had two hours until the end of his shift. The longest two hours of any work shift.
“So, I heard your favorite patients came in today,” started Roxanne, taking a seat across from her colleague with a cup of tea.
“Of course, they did,” grumbled the male. “It’s almost like they have sixth sense to know when to show up here and pester me.”
Roxanne giggled at that. “I think they just like visiting their favorite doctor. They know you’ll take good care of them no matter what.”
“…If they liked me that much then they wouldn’t get hurt all the time.”
“Hey, some people can’t help how accident-prone they are. You of all people should understand that.”
“Well, you got me there.” He polished off the rest of his sandwich and washed it down with his fourth cup of coffee as he thought about the southern birds. It wasn’t as if he disliked them, but rather their antics and their propensity to tease. ‘Sometimes, I think they like seeing me mad…’
“Oh! I have an idea! What if we switch patients and I could handle José and Panchito’s next visits while you take two of mine.”
“Huh. That sounds like a great idea!” After all, the two doctors traded patients all of the time. Whenever dealing with a young child or an elderly person who required a lot of patience that he didn’t have, Donald would call on Roxanne. And when the female doctor had rougher patients that needed to be forcibly told that they had no chance with her, Roxanne called on Donald. Without a doubt, the Mexican and Brazilian birds would adore Roxanne, as did everyone else. She was smart, sweet, considerate, patient, and cute-as-a-button.
Everything Donald was not.
“Thanks, Pop-rocks.”
Roxanne giggled affectionately at the nickname. “No problem, Doctor D. I’m always worried your stress levels will land you in here as a patient instead of a doctor!”
END CHAPTER